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k-kuja · 5 years

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which are hirako's most important relationships and why?

Relationship, singular.

I’m joking, but I’m also not joking because every single relationship he did have, he was prepared to sacrifice without hesitation for one (1) tall glass of sad.

He was profoundly affected when Arima told him, “You’re like me, you have that same emptiness,” I imagine for two main reasons: first of all, it was an admission of weakness on Arima’s part (the unstoppable shinagami is human after all!) and a way of bridging a gap in their personal relationship, allowing them to speak openly and honestly about their individual emotional struggles ( —I mean, that never actually happened, but there was at least a foundation there); on top of that, another human being tells Take that they relate to him. Someone he deeply respects, someone from whom he desperately needs validation, someone who he sees as the opposite to himself - charismatic, skilled, useful, with a strong sense of purpose - sees themselves in him.

And then in addition to that, Arima genuinely trusts him. Like, a lot. He trusted him with his blindside, with his past, with his peers (the Garden kids), with his plan… Arima sort of provides for him posthumously in a sense too, at least in Take’s mind, by offering him an objective and… kind of a surrogate family.

For the record, I’m aware that that’s a little bit of a stretch but (!) I do think it’s an interesting thought when you consider his decision to appoint Akira (who was always coded as cold and distant) as a ‘parent’ to Haise, esp after losing Kureo, Seidou and Amon. She developed more maternal characteristics and formed genuine, positive relationships with him and the Qs; I like the idea that he wanted both Hirako and the Garden kids to experience a similar sense of family, and it’s super sad that that never materialised.

So whatever sense of purpose he eventually finds comes from his relationship with Arima, and the trust Arima places in him. We’re never given any real glimpse into his personal life but, in terms of work, he doesn’t care about promotion (it seems that both he and Arima actively tried to remain paired for as long as possible), he doesn’t care about CCG protocol (he challenges his superior officer, Hachi, twice) and he isn’t particularly interested in killing ghouls either (he suggests imprisoning Irimi rather than killing her and, when Haise says he wants to apologise to Hirako for letting Orochi escape, Arima straight up says, “I don’t think Take cares.”)

There’s a reason why he never wrestles with his decision to defect like, say, Akira does - his loyalty was never to the CCG. It was solely to Kishou.

To be clear though, he’s loyal to a fault and it’s a big part of what negatively affects his contribution to Goat/the Dragon War.

Aside from Arima, I think the relationship that’s most important to him is with Koori, and forgive my incredible laziness here but I’m gonna direct people to this great meta by @linkspooky because it perfectly explains how the two foil each other in their pursuit of Arima’s legacy. They share a mutual respect for one another and they’re established as equals, but for competing reasons.

His relationship with Kuramoto is really interesting bc Kuramoto kind of inherits two of Take’s biggest weaknesses: (1) he believes he’s only useful as a follower and doesn’t believe he’s capable of assuming a position of leadership (a fear that’s immediately realised when he loses almost his entire squad during his first mission as Sq Leader). Obviously Take does assume leadership of S0, but he constantly defers - even after Arima’s death, he describes himself as “merely an underling”; any 'decision’ he does make is just an earlier command from Arima, and, other than that, he simply responds to Kaneki’s directions rather than co-operating with him to make more practical decisions.

Anyway, Kuramoto’s lack of self-belief is the result of (2) never having received the validation he requires from his superior (sounds familiar wow), to the point where he becomes depressed after Take’s defection and seems to blame himself for some reason (”I thought he believed in me”). In spite of that, Kuramoto remains as steadfastly loyal to Hirako as the latter does to Arima; there’s never a conversation about how hurt or confused Kuramoto was. He makes a few friendly jibes but he happily accepts Take back and re assumes his position as subordinate without any issue.

It’s proof of Hirako’s painful lack of self-awareness, as well as his inability to understand the needs of anyone around him other than Arima, I think. Where Arima consciously distances himself from his subordinates and deliberately withholds praise (or whatever) from others in spite of their need for it, Take is completely oblivious to those needs.

I also think the relationship between Take and Renji is kind of rewarding, even if it is really brief. [Yeah, I know, yawn, Áine likes Homo.]

First of all, it underlines once again that Hirako doesn’t have any deep-rooted hatred for ghouls and, in fact, he’s quite comfortable talking to one as an equal. He’s friendly and complimentary, even. It makes me wonder a lot more about his past and why he enrolled in the Academy in the first place.

Their conversation in the café is… super muddy, and it’s both good and bad in a way that reflects the moral grey that carries through to the end of the manga imo. Hirako listens to Renji as he explains why he’s hurt and angry and struggling to come to terms with this new alliance. Cool. And then responds by basically saying “what’s done is done, your sister’s dead, my boyfriend’s friend’s dead, we just have to forget about it and blindly move forward based on our single commonality”, which is... not really very productive, and absolutely not Good Détente, like that’s… not how conflict resolution works. But it’s something I guess, and an uneasy alliance that they both agree too, which it’s indicative of how the ghoul/non-ghoul conflict is handled (or not handled) right up until the end of the story..

I think there’s a general perception that Take buries his thoughts/feelings and doesn’t speak because he’s repressing them, so I think it’s refreshing and interesting to see him communicate very openly and directly with a total stranger about lacking a sense of purpose in life, desperately seeking validation, honestly admitting to now knowing where to go from here...

As someone who is incredibly open about pretty much everything but uncomfortable putting themselves at the centre of a conversation, and also needs space to actually gather whatever thoughts need to be expressed before being able to actually communicate them to others, it was weirdly relatable to see him suddenly so comfortable and frank. It’s more of a personal reading I guess, I think a lot of people prob read that as a little out of character.

#you sent this like #probably a month ago #and i'm only responding now #with a load of half baked badly structured thoughts i am so sorry

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sparda3g · 6 years

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The Seven Deadly Sins Chapter 267 and 268 Review

It’s been a while since I last review the series’ chapter. I had a complication with my new laptop to get my day started, but now I am back in motion. I apologize for unable to get chapter 266 review done. Now I am back for the latest chapter; however, there were two releases. I guess you can say it’s my karma, can’t escape from working hard. On the bright side, we have two chapters to enjoy.

The first chapter was largely a buildup, picked up right where Estarossa lost his mind and proceeded to choke Elizabeth, because love hurts. It’s sad how I thought, “As expected. Oh the humanity! Will anyone please save the princess?!” Sorry, my expectation has shrunk. Fortunately, she ends up saving herself by shooting magic right at his face. It’s the least she had to do; she was about to die. Honestly, if someone did save her from that, that is kind of sad. My hope for her was rising and nothing can ruin that…

Right?

An interesting setting for Estarossa to choose to hide her at, concerning that it was a secret meeting place between Meliodas and her. Estarossa truly believe he is his oldest brother; I can’t say that’s sweet of him. Of course, Elizabeth will be touched by the sight since it is nostalgia and all, so I didn’t mind her reacting this way. For now. Shame that it does resort to a love triangle war though, especially Estarossa being involved in this mess.

The next conflict against him is setup back at the plain field with the Archangels and King getting ready to set off. I wonder if this is how the series’ battle will be like going forward; teamwork is the only way to win. It’s nothing wrong with that; just feel like one-on-one will become Meliodas and very few others exclusive. Anyway, it makes sense for those three to be the only one to go since they can fly; sorry, no flying nimbus. If this was a Seinen series, I would be very afraid for King to die because of marriage in mind, but I am worried in a lower capacity level.

Before anyone can say, “Sausagefest,” Derieri insists to join along as well because she can fly too. This is when it finally put her trust into the test due to her status. At least the Archangels aren’t so rude with her. It’s evident that only Ludociel is a bona fide douche of Archangels; good for others. Human can bad mouth at her all day, so it’s natural.

I was happy that King is the one to step up and defend her, mainly because his journey in the past spiritually comes in handy for a reasonable decision making. I couldn’t see any other way. I don’t know if King will tell her the story, though I think it’s that important. So long she has someone’s support, she is allowed to go. I do get the feeling that this is her endgame, but maybe Nakaba will surprise me. We’ll see. Now we have a demon, a fairy, and two Archangels. Sounds like a really strong team.

It segues to a better yet simple insight of Estarossa and his struggles in the past. As said before, he’s like the bastard child that no one would want or befriend with. The reason why he loves Elizabeth and Meliodas is because they didn’t laugh at him. It’s a familiar story of social outcast getting loved by one and eventually fallen in love. The problem is he’s a villain and most importantly, Elizabeth always have her eyes on Meliodas. What a shocker.

Even in the midst of depression, she still talks about him and ask Estarossa to help her. To be fair, Meliodas is the prime target, so I won’t blame her for bringing up the topic in this dreary mood. I unintentionally feel bad for Estarossa to be stuck with this hell of being neglected by two obsessed lovers. Who’s the actual villain here?

The one part that is questionable and honestly, I’m curious for probably a reason that wasn’t intended is whether that one memory of his is true. He states that Meliodas once told him that he will work things out with him and Elizabeth. Elizabeth is confident that he would never say that. If you take it out of context, I would think she’s an asshole for being so damn sure. Hell, do we even know what Meliodas meant if that part is true? It sounds like something of an older brother trying to make the relationship work, but not necessarily make them lovers. I wish the translation was more accurate or the tone was better suggestive because that respond somewhat pissed me off. It better be false to escape this mess. “I’m sure your memory is mistaken.” It better be…

Estarossa does go mad and the Commandments begin to swallow him up. He resumes back to choking Elizabeth out cold, only it’s a strangle rather than a chokehold. She started it, so serve her right. At least, she’s on cue to be damsel in distress, so why I even bother hoping. Estarossa form a ball shape, filled with the Commandments’ energy. He lost his mind to drag her into the abyss, so he can eat her. Look, if it does put her into Kaneki’s state in the last episode of Tokyo Ghoul Season 1, I will eat all of my complaints and put her on a throne; no more from me.

It’s an interesting comparison with Estarossa and Meliodas’ current state. That would mean Estarossa will go through the transformation phase similar to Meliodas in which is taking time to complete. The state is like a cocoon, waiting it to break. What I would like to know if Meliodas can come in contact with other Commandments or other similar procedure he’s in. If so, he may detect Elizabeth in danger and plan will change. It does sound like a perfect setup for those two to go head-to-head with similar power-up. It’s only matter of time.

The second chapter is pretty straightforward, but entertaining none the less. It’s all about Ban, the guy who has been missing for a while. The color page did give it away, so it wasn’t much of shocker. However, it does hold more than one meaning behind it. While there isn’t much to cover in plot aspect, the joy comes from the journey and how far he has gone.

It does start off strange with some wolf covered in black energy or whatever, leaving some fans wondering what is that at first. I quite like the imagery of the setting. It’s artsy in a way, something like Limbo the video game. It’s a nice change of pace in its atmosphere; Nakaba should do more of that technique. It becomes clear that it’s Ban when it remembers the Fountain of Youth and sure enough, he recovers to his normal state. Well, his human state to be exact.

These two chapters used plenty of large panels, sometimes a page worth, for impacting effect or cool designs. In this chapter, it’s mainly for the detail and exploiting the hardship journey. Purgatory is true hell and even for an immortal, it can still “kill” you. Your body may not break, but your mind will.

Ban grew crap load of hair but that’s because time travel fast in there. With the mixed of an image of a lost man and his current mental state, it would appear he has lost his mind, close succumb to eternal hell. It’s effective when even Ban was scared out of his mind. The double page is really good. It’s like watching some guy going to an endless journey; wandering around for centuries (literally).

I feel bad for Ban to suffer this magnitude. It’s agonizing how he keeps calling for Meliodas like he really can’t take it anymore. Immortal isn’t shaping up to be incredible. It’s telling when he begins to speak to himself, questions and all. You can argue that he’s doing so to keep in check of his humanity’s state, which is plausible. Either way, he’s fallen into the despair that could one day take him to emptiness.

We are treated with a nice fun action with some silly looking black dragon, but this type of nature is amusing and I do miss it. It’s a good change of imagination in its lore, so not everything has to be vicious in design. The dragon reminds me of Meliodas’ old sword, but I believe that is the point by the end. It brings a fun action between the two. It was a good timing on its end since Ban needed a distraction to prevent total insanity. It’s funny how I thought we have a new hairstyle for Ban, only to get his head blown away and regenerate with the usual cut. It’s a good thing that I didn’t jump ahead to think there’s an art error since time travel really fast and such.

It’s good that it was established a while back that Ban and Meliodas have a solid friendship, so it’s nice yet a bit sad how much he has struggled to retrieve his best friend’s emotion. Luckily, Ban has a lover that is far tolerable in compare but my point is his reminder of Elaine waiting for him causes “Meliodas” to speak from somewhere. All this time, that funny looking dragon is “him.” It’s charming how two friends always find a way to challenge each other, no matter where.

Now that he has found “him,” it does make me wonder if he will return once actual Meliodas “hatches” from transformation or will it be for a while, leaving room for Meliodas to cause chaos. I don’t even know how can Ban escape from there. He now holds the game changer; it’s only matter of how long it will take.

Overall, the two chapters were good for its setup. Archangels, King, and Derieri is an impressive dynamic; hopefully it takes them a while to get there for some amusing interactions. Estarossa lost his mind because this romance has been mind-numbing. It leaves a sign of potential two brothers’ battle coming soon, possibly after with those four arrival. Ban’s journey was creeping and amusing. The artwork for both chapters are pretty solid with nice detail with its single page use. The second chapter benefited greatly from extra spaces and impacting inserts. The combine of two doesn’t make it feel like two chapters in total, but it covers enough setup to engage an exciting event for the next. Plus, both end page of each chapter connects each other. It won’t be long now before another round of carnage ensue.

#The Seven Deadly Sins #nanatsu no taizai #chapter 267 #chapter 268 #review

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linkspooky · 7 years

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Prison Break

While Yoriko Kuroiwa is imprisoned, this chapter repeats cage imagery again and again. Bujin is in a holding cell, Iwao stands with Furuta in a room adorned with barred windows, the entrance to both Kaneki and Touka’s room has physical bars that they can easily walk in and out of, while Yoriko herself slowly wastes away in the sealed off interrogation room her own execution day set.

The question is, if the jailbreak arc already happened, if Kaneki supposedly broke his cage and cracked his egg, and if Goat right now is fighting to break the structure of the world then why are all of these characters being shown with clear prisoner imagery?

Perhaps the simpler question is, why are these characters in cages in the first place? Who put them there?

The simplest answer to that question would be society. Especially in a story where V considers themselves to be the orchestrator of the world’s conflicts and resolutions. However, that point of view is reductive as it leaves out the character’s own agency. As long as V has not invented mind control chips, the characters retain the ability to make their own decisions. Perhaps V sets up the circumstances, but the characters still make choices all throughout those circumstances.

Another important but simple observation is that oftentimes in this chapter the characters are shown walking into their own prison cells.

Urie Kuki walks in willingly in order to visit Bujin. Meanwhile it is Bujin himself who was arrested only because of an action he himself did, choosing to punch Mutsuki. Not just because of his association with Yoriko. Both of the men in the cell, are therefore, their one way or another by their own choices.

Urie himself makes an important choice in regards to this situation. He knows that Mutsuki might have some special grudge against either Touka or Yoriko, and has evidence that can corroborate the fact that Mutsuki contrived a statement mainly to frame Yoriko.

Yet he himself chooses to sit on that knowledge. Perhaps to protect Mutsuki, or perhaps only to protect the image of Mutsuki in his mind as the man who first reached out to him in the auction arc. Saiko too, has evidence of Mutsuki’s transgressions outside of the role of a CCG officer and yet chose not to interfere or even confront Mutsuki about that because of her own fear of losing the family like environment of the Quinx home.

However, Bujin himself chooses to sit and not think of things. After all, Furuta’s whole actions throughout this arc has been to drag the ccg through the mud. A few chapters ago we found him loyally fighting with Furuta’s 100% slaughter operations. However, the fact that humans, or even a human that he’s personally invested in also might be harmed by this new regime is finally something that gets him to call into question? He’s still not empathizing with ghouls or questioning Furuta’s actions, besides the ones that directly affect him.

Which extends to the Kuroiwas as a whole. After all, they’ve been profiting all this time as ghoul investigators, by following this strict set of rules and enforcing it. Do they really get to question it now that it’s turned against them? Iwao is offered a choice, his reptutation of a family member. The reputation his family has spent their entire lives, building up and living inside then suddenly becomes a cage to him.

After all up until this point, both Iwao and Bujin have simply chosen to follow the paths laid in front of them without questioning it. Bujin seems to have become an investigator not because he believes in it but because it was what his dad did and that dominated most of his childhood.

Then finally we get to the ghouls underground trapped in a labyrinth of cages by their own will. Choosing to hide and take refuge in the 24th ward rather than fight the CCG directly. This is once again a choice, Kaneki put himself in his own cage by bidding that Goat must flee rather than face the CCG head on.

He never chose a next plan of action beyond simply waiting. Perhaps that too comes from Kaneki’s choice, his inability to break the world in front of them. Kaneki sympathizes too much with the CCG and does not want to destroy them the way Eto meant to. Even if they are the ones currently holding the world in the cage. Even before Furuta’s rapid takeover, it seemed Kaneki’s intention was to talk with the Washuu rather than destroy them and root them out. His inability to grasp the situation, his obliviousness, is in itself a choice. After all, Kaneki’s not fighting for the sake of a all ghoul kind as he claims to be. Look at the face he makes when he casually suggests crushing the head of the CCG, even Nishiki is taken aback by a second.

What Nishiki probably has yet to realize is, just as this is to Furuta it’s a game to Kaneki too. This is a game played between two kings who act like children, and refuse to take the conflict seriously. That’s why every move that Furuta makes that seriously jeapordizes Kaneki’s plan, Kaneki refuses to acknowledge and treats just like he lost advantage in chess. The depression of every loss against Furuta just does not hit Kaneki yet, the same way it does the starving ghouls, or even his friends under his own command who have lived their entire lives as ghouls and therefore empathize with the situation of ghouls much more strongly.

This in itself is a choice. Kaneki chooses to acknowledge maybe, but not destroy the parts of his personality that make him resemble Furuta. He accepts the title of king as something he can perpetually cling to in order to give him a reason to live, not something that the lives and deaths of others ride on.

Kaneki’s own continued choice to be passive in every situation even shows in his own relationships. Touka lies to him about being pregnant, he lies to her about Yoriko. Even when he learns the truth about her situation though, Kaneki can barely get through confronting her. His passive attempt ends in failure. Avoiding confrontation, being gripped by the anxiety of losing others, afraid to fight for fear of hurting others, all of Kaneki’s flaws at the center of his being are rising to the surface and dominating both his personal relationships now and also the way he commands Goat. The end result is both of them being trapped down in the 24th ward, unable to truly progress.

The final example is of course Yoriko herself. What she blames is her own ignorance. That she simply accepted that her happy days with Touka were so simple, and refused to think about her friend’s feelings besides her own personal happiness.

Of course it also takes two to tango, while Yoriko lived in happy ignorance and chose to lie that way, Touka also chose not to tell her the truth about herself. Even when Yoriko was clearly threatened by Mutsuki and put in danger, Touka chose not to interrupt the wedding or try to warn her friend ahead of time. Once again was this chosen for her own safety? or because Yoriko is Touka’s only remaining connection to the human world and Touka feared being rejected by her?

If Touka knows how terrible it felt to be abandoned without a word by Kaneki, why would she subject Yoriko to the same thing? Why would she continue to do so even after Mutsuki was clearly hunting Yoriko and she was in need of a warning not to be blindsided?

All along the way these characters had choices that could have freed themselves just a little from the situation they were trapped in. Yet, all along we see them choose not to take action. That’s because the cage isn’t exactly something that is forced upon them. It’s a cage of their own choosing, and people voluntarily choose to live inside it instead of fighting.

Which is why I really don’t think even if the CCG team up with Kaneki in order to defeat him, that removing it’s head will destroy the will of the rest of the CCG as simply as Kaneki suggests. Perhaps if the cage were that simple and it was something enforced upon all of the investigators present, then removing Furuta would solve everything. This seems even to be a plan that Furuta himself is offering up, and Kaneki is coming around to agree with.

Ghouls and humans come together to crush the head of the CCG, Furuta Nimura is excised and the war between the two species finally ends now that it’s greatest aggravator, and profiteer is gone.

As we’re shown time and time again though, the cage is something entered of one’s free will. In a few chapters ago we were shown, not just the oggai but several main characters still left on the CCG’s side following Furuta’s orders for total extermiantion wholeheartedly. Even if Furuta disapperas, as long as these kind of people remain falling back simply on what’s ordered of them the CCG as a culture will continue to perpetuate.

There are reasons people stay in the cage. To everybody it might not seem so restricting, to some it might be a place to belong one that provides comfort.

#tg meta #tokyo ghoul meta #tokyo ghoul re #meta #tokyo ghoul #kaneki ken #tokyo ghoul theory

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tenmillionotters · 7 years

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Sleepwalking

Rating: Mature

Pairing: Kaneki Ken/Kirishima Touka, Sasaki Haise/Kirishima Touka

Character: Kirishima Touka, Kankeki Ken, Sasaki Haise, Marude Itsuki, Washuu-Furuta Souta

Word count: 1694

Chapter: 2/3

Additional information: Human AU, Pregnancy, Parent-Child Relationship, Parenthood, Slow Burn, Mutual Pining, Friends to Lovers

After not needing therapy in years, Touka returns to the ‘Lighthouse’ to seek help after the loss of the two people who meant the most to her, but the past isn’t something she can easily bury, it’s still alive and breathing, always around.

Read on AO3 or under the cut

Buy me a coffee

“You didn’t come alone today, did you?”

His features had softened a bit since the last time they saw, he looked so relaxed, it seemed like married life was something he truly enjoyed, there had been a time when she was just like that too, “He wanted to tag along… he’s worried about me, but he couldn’t really tell what I was going to do here.”

“Well, I hope that he is aware that I won’t be able to tell him anything about you, that’s confidential. … but on the topic of Haise, I would like you to tell me more about your relationship,” Dr Marude made a gesture to let Touka know she should speak up, maybe something he picked up on the studies abroad.

“What is there to tell… we live together, he is… friendly to me, but I just can’t bring myself to… open up to him, there is something about him I just can’t stand, it makes me angry it appals me,” did she really feel so disgusted by him? “It’s not because he’s a bad person or anything, no it’s me -”

“Touka,” he sighed and leaned forward, looking into her eyes with a stern but sincere expression, “None of this is your fault. It’s only natural to react like that considering what Haise symbolises to you, it wasn’t an easy transgression… from grieving your husband's death and the miscarriage… to taking care of a total stranger. If you allow me to tell you my honest opinion on the matter…”

“Sure, go ahead…”

“... let him go, this isn’t right for either of you,” the words were so softly spoken, drenched in compassion and worry, he understood her not only because he had to, but because he cared for her.

“But I-”, she knew he was right, without a doubt, of course he knew what he was talking about, but why did it hurt so bad? Just the thought of letting him go? “I can’t live with him but I also can’t let him go - he’s all that’s left of …”

How many hours had already passed with her just crying trying to figure out what to do next, while he was just sitting in his chair, watching her, letting her cry in peace? This place created such a warm and welcoming environment, it wasn’t as warm as a home or as safe… but it radiated this calm sense of compassion, it was okay to cry here, nobody would ever know.

“... thank you…,” Touka vibed over her eyes and glanced at the clock, “... see you next week?”

“I am sure Souta can find a spot for you, … Touka, what I said earlier, the decision is yours but please do what is best for you, not for him. Sometimes you have to be selfish in order to protect yourself,” Itsuki sighed and placed his hand on her shoulder, “I know you’re strong, but you need to rest too.”

“... thank you…,” there was nothing she could say, she knew he was right, he knew what he was talking about but he also knew how stubborn she was, oh so stubborn.

“Doctor!”, Haise jumped up and dropped the magazine he was reading, the noise came to much displeasure of the receptionist Souta and the cat, his assistant receptionist, who both exchanged questioning and annoyed looks, “I’m sorry - it’s so good to finally meet you! I’m Sasaki Haise, I am Touka’s roommate.” He bowed deeply and then smiled warmly at the man.

“The pleasure’s mine, I’m Marude Itsuki… as you already know Miss Kirishima’s doctor,” it sent a shiver down Touka’s spine to hear him talk like that again, he sounded so formal and distant, well… of course he did, he didn’t know Haise personally.

“Thank you for taking such good care of my Tou- … Miss Kirishima,” he bowed again and then started to search for his car keys blindly, “I-I I’ll be waiting in the c-car Touka.”

They quietly watched him leave before Itsuki turned to Touka, “... so that’s him, huh?” He wouldn’t mention the slip, why should he? It would only do more harm than good anyway.

“Yeah…,” her mouth felt numb, as if her tongue was swollen and heavy, she walked over to Souta and smiled tired, “I need an appointment for next week…” While he was busy checking the calendar she took the time to pat the friendly black cat, “Hey there Kimchi…” The little guy purred pleased and rubbed his head against Touka’s hand.

“Is Wednesday at 7 pm okay?”, a few strains of long black hair feel into his face as he tilted his head waiting for an reply.

“Yes, that’s fine with me,” even though she always set a reminded in her phone, she let Souta press a small piece of paper into the palm of her hand, “Thank you. Sorry for making you wait again. Good night.”

“Good night, Touka-chan!”, Souta waved lightly, but he noticed that his brother-in-law didn’t respond at all, “Itsuki, is everything okay?”

“... what do you think about the two of them, do you think this will end… well?”

“You know, I only wish the best for Touka-chan,” he lowered his gaze and stared at his hands, “But when I am honest I don’t think this whole ordeal will have a happy end. The world doesn’t work like that… sadly. No matter how much you love someone, sometimes they’re just out of touch, no matter how close…”

“Mhm… now, enough of that let’s go home, your brother is waiting for us,” maybe he shouldn’t have asked something like that in first place, the poor kid had enough worries already.

Touka’s steps were light as she ran down the stairs, she didn’t want it to end, she didn’t want to see Haise right now, if she could she would have asked him to leave on his own and then she’d just spent the night somewhere else, maybe at the docks in the harbor, all by herself… but she couldn’t do that, she couldn’t stay away from him for too long.

Haise threw his head back and sighed, why did he say something like that infront of an audience…? His Touka? His? What in the world got into him? Should he apologise for that…? It wasn’t appropriate of him to say something like that especially not considering that he was talking about a widow.

… but most of all, he didn’t have a right to speak of her like that when he was the one who rejected her months ago; could he blame himself for it though? Probably not. He barely knew her and her advances were overwhelming, but telling her that he didn’t even have an idea who she was seemed to have made a switch turn in her mind, she got distant, she apologised to him. Now he missed it, her kindness, her warmth, he was just scared to be a replacement for her dead husband, but Touka wasn’t a person like that… and now there was no way to ever go back, or…?

“Sorry that I made you wait,” Touka sat down and fixed her shirt, “Are you hungry? We can drop by an fastfood place, whatever you feel like… I don’t want to cook tonight. I just want to eat and then sleep.”

“... y-yeah, we can just get some KFC…”

Was something wrong? This wasn’t like Haise at all, but then again, she wasn’t in the place to ask any questions. It was none of her business, she was nothing but a stranger to him after all.

“Do you want to watch a movie…?”, it took him a while to speak up, but when he finally did it felt like a burden was lifted off him at the same time his anxiety kicked in, what would she think of him now?

“I am not in the mood to hang out,” Touka laughed and sighed, “Maybe tomorrow, I can ask my friends if they’d like to join, we could all go to the movies and spend some time in the city afterwards, only if you want to of course.”

“Sure! Sounds great…,” so much for the idea of making it a romantic date, yeah sure… as if she’d ever spend time with him alone out of her own free will; it was a start though, wasn’t it? “I’m looking forward to it.”

“Me too,” the aspect of not having to endure it alone was what gave her enough strength to stomach the thought that she’d be alone with him, “Wait… what… day is it tomorrow?”

“Tuesday… Oh! You… meant the date, the 23rd why?”, was it some kind of special day; did he miss something?

“... I am sorry, but I think we can’t go to the movies tomorrow…”

Every 23rd of the month was somewhat dreadful to her, but this one was especially bad. It only marked another year she had to live without the love of her life and their child, she still remembered the night that her husband's colleagues were standing in front of her door, pale and shaking. Their eyes were swollen, red and filled with despair, she knew what they were going to say but she didn’t want to hear it.

No apology, no explanation, nothing would ever be able to heal the pain she felt in the moment they told her that the operation failed. Ken wouldn’t come back to her, never again. She remembered that everything went blank, but she heard that she went berserk, she screamed and cried, woke up in a hospital with a hollow feeling in her stomach.

The numbness spread through her entire body, consumed her. They said they’re sorry, but they have bad news about the baby, she knew it already, oh God, why did they have to say it? “It’s gone, it’s dead isn’t it?”, she laughed after saying it, oh the irony, in that night she not only lost her husband but also her child.

“Let’s go out some other time Haise…,” it was merely a whisper, she let her fingers trace the marks the rain left on the car window on this clear and warm night.

#my writing #touken #tousaki #kaneki ken #kirishima touka #sasaki haise #tokyo ghoul #tokyo ghoul :re #tg #tg :re #tg fanfic #angst #human au

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