#I had to discuss this the second I saw your post while scrolling

[ultimatefartwizard]

EARTHSPARK MESSAGES AND SUBTEXT THATS NOT EVEN SUBTEXT

It's been a while since I have posted as I've been busy with finals, but I saw a post that absolutely made me spur a headache with just how utterly fatuous of a take I saw on Transformers Earthspark and the messages it sends.

DISCLAIMER: DO NOT USE THIS POST TO ATTACK OR HARASS ANYONE, THIS IS ONLINE DISCUSSION OF A WORK OF MEDIA.

THIS ALSO COVERS SPOILERS FOR SEASON 1 OF EARTHSPARK, IF YOU WISH TO AVOID SUCH A TOPIC PLEASE REDIRECT YOURSELF.

@monocle-teacup Won't repost your post as the way tumblr reposts works would have everything funnel onto your account, but I'll be pinging you and I did screenshot your post for viewer's context:

I have ALOT to talk about here, while also being completely in shock and disbelief how you end up BELEIVING THE SIDE THAT IS A GENOCIDAL LUNATIC WHO SEES THE TRANSFORMERS AS SUBHUMAN AND A DISEASE ON THE EARTH??? AND IS WILLING TO FULL ASS MURDER AND MUTILATE PEOPLE? From here any * you may see is likely a footnote mark to check details I put at the end for clarity. If I miss something, let me know and I will clarify.

Before I get into the meat of dissecting your clearly ill-informed and definitely not thoroughly thought out post, I need to get something out of the way because I believe you'll use this as a means of shielding yourself from incoming critique: It's okay to like and enjoy characters who are clearly bad people. There is a CLEAR difference between enjoying a fictional character and agreeing with whatever they might do or say. I enjoy many bad and morally reprehensible characters, including Mandroid/Doctor Meridian, but that doesn't mean I agree with them or don't find their actions and ideas deplorable. If you find yourself agreeing with someone who sees another group of people* as being subhuman or a danger to society you need to reconsider your ideologies and thought processes. Like ASAP.

Okay onto the actual deconstruction of your statements, why they are blatantly lacking a thorough reading of the messages in Earthspark, or even lead into uncomfortably ignorant territories both with Transformers and very real-life, human related things.

As a first point, you state that you hope this show re-examines the fact that hatred towards another group of people (even if they are fictional) automatically makes them a terrible person, and bring up the statement that the show makes GHOST's detainment of transformers look "cartoonishly evil" but does absolutely nothing to address Dr.Meridian's statements of transformers being dangerous.

Yes. Yes it ABSOLUTELY DOES address that throughout the entire show. In fact, the whole season is literally about deconstructing the notion that BOTH Dr.Meridian's and GHOST's ideals and methods are harmful if not downright discriminatory towards transformers as a whole.

GHOST's method of control is a guise under the US government by detaining any transformer they deem as "a threat", this can even mean autobots or non-aligned transformers who don't want to join their organization or are just doing their own thing. They will willingly classify them all as "Decepticons" to justify their inhumane treatment of them. This is paralleling how humans will stereotype and conflate other groups of people, as being all associated with one singular event or organization of people that is seen as bad or a danger to society* and use that stereotyped ideal to weaponize it against them and justify harming them in multiple ways; which is what Dr.Meridian ALSO DOES THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE SHOW. Dr.Meridian is a scientist that literally works with and is a huge provider of technology to GHOST, he literally works with them and experiments on the detained transformers. You can't say "oh GHOST bad Dr.Mer not so bad" when he's LITERALLY PART OF GHOST AND YOU CANNOT SEPARATE THEM. HE IS EXTREME AND OUTSPOKEN ABOUT HIS HATRED THROUGHOUT THE SHOW AND ACTIVELY IS SHOWN TO BE ENTIRLEY IN THE WRONG BOTH IDEOLOGICALLY AND ACTION WISE. You clearly have not watched with a critical eye if you think they never address his points or somehow he is right about something. He never is and it shows just how harmful his mentality is. You don't even need words spoken out loud to know he's ALREADY HEINOUSLY WRONG AND BIGOTED.

Why should the show, one that shows transformers having to battle against racist and xenophobic hatred towards them from humans, re-examine that relationship? People are being discriminatory to people they don't like, and to them it doesn't matter if they are decepticon or not; they're all the same and dangerous in their eyes. Yes, there was a war brought onto earth's soil from pure happenstance of where the Ark and members of the two named groups had landed, and yes it was bloody and many lives were lost like any war is. Should the war, as well as atrocious acts of violence by a few and the circumstance that which the birth and type of being transformers are deem all transformers as dangerous? OBVIOUSLY FUCKING NOT. That's literally stereotyping. That's what Dr.Meridian is doing. He's literally grouped them all into one conglomerate in his head and sees them all as pests to be exterminated.

The transformers are both immigrants and refugees of war that had lasted thousands of millions of years and a desperate attempt to find any source of energon because they would STARVE TO DEATH IF THEY DIDN'T AND RESOURCES WERE DANGEROUSLY SCARCE ON CYBERTRON. They are thousands of lightyears away from home in a place that doesn't have the cultures they are familiar with and structures built for them which accommodates their needs. And to add onto it, most were never originally outfitted with guns and shit. They had to ARM THEMSELVES TO PROTECT AGAINST ATTACKS. JUST BECAUSE YOU SEE A GUN POP OUT OF THEIR BODY DOESN'T MEAN THEY ARE BUILT LIKE THAT NOR DOES IT MEAN THEY ARE AUTOMATICALLY ALL DANGEROUS. The only ones who are theoretically "built for war/violence" are war-frames like seekers, but they didn't even CHOOSE THAT LIFE OR WANT IT! THEY ARE COLD CONSTRUCTED* AND LITERALLY ENSLAVED INTO BEING CANON FODDER FOR WHATEVER SKERMISH THEY ARE DEEMED NEEDED FOR. Starscream wasn't even a warrior before this, he was just some nerd ass scientist. Cold constructed bots and War-frames are already deemed subhuman by other transformers. The entire war that you see is a continual millions of years struggle which the origins are in a fight against their own horrible systematic oppressions to try and bring freedom and put an end to the horrible reign back on Cybertron. How does them being robot organisms displaced by ongoing war, a continual brutal and bloody struggle for freedom back at home, and dangerous resource scarcity make them any more dangerous than your average person? And the "they are robots/walking death machines" argument doesn't count because you're only seeing them from a nonhuman lense in that case. Take off those nuts and bolts covered glasses and think of how this would be if they were all humans instead. The visuals of only seeing them for their robotics are blocking your ability to view this group as simply a mirroring of humans in nonhuman bodies. Humans are just as dangerous and ostracizing as them. Literally humans slaughter other humans frequently; bring upon hatred and obscene actions onto one another with or without robotic attachments and aid of machines. Just because the transformers are robotic extraterrestrials who are "different biologically/mechanically" makes it no different from the dehumanization and other forms of racism and xenophobia. Transformers are literally just... humans in a robot shell. You can't argue against this at all because most if not all have human forms, ALL of them have human minds, and just happen to come from a planet they need to be insanely large sized on, as well as already pre-armed due to conflict that they have escaped from.

The whole story of Earthspark is LITERALLY about the experiences of the Terrans; first generation descendants of immigrant refugees navigating the struggles that come with being just that. They make whole episodes surrounding their feelings of alienation and their struggle to have a place in the world, their culture and history and who they are. They want to feel they belong and feel they have a place in this world and be seen just as human and belonging as their human family. Their government and the world around them alienates them and treats them sub-humanly despite them being just as human, flaws and all, as us. Since I'm praddling on about this topic, did you even ABSORB ANY OF THE EPISODES HOME PART 1 AND 2???? IT'S ABOUT THIS TOPIC AND TEACHES HOW THIS MENTALITY OF TREATING THE TRANSFORMERS AS SUBHUMAN ALIENS THAT NEED TO GO AWAY OR NEED TO BE CLASSIFIED AS DANGEROUS/A INVASIVE "SPECIES" THAT NEEDS TO BE REMOVED IS BAD. IT SHOWS THE RACISM AND XENOPHOBIA THAT ESPECIALLY COMES WITH BEING CHILDREN OF IMMIGRANTS AND THE ISOLATION THEY FACE.

Please, I heavily implore you to go back and watch them. You somehow miss the entire point of the show and ESPECIALLY this episode. Many episodes cover different points of their existence as first gen children and the reality that the transformers have to face in general while being refugees on a planet with others being hostile and degrading to them but this particular episode is the one that tackles the points I make in this post the most. It may not go super deep into it due to forced time constraints and other executive nonsense that makes it harder to go into more detail but it still covers the topic very well.

Humans getting nipped at the heels for being bigoted towards transformers isn't some "ouugh you can't think the decepticons did bad things" type of nonsense and I absolutely hate the "oh because you can't be bigoted towards a group of people it means you suddenly can't criticize the actions of someone who happens to be someone of that group" mentality you seem to be concocting out of thin air. It's them associating the entire race of transformers as all bad, unbelonging or worthy of being seen as dangerous and to be wary around them or like they need to not be on earth and "go back where they came from". You go between "decepticons" and "transformers" interchangeably and seem to do exactly as the show heeds against heavily; conglomerating the actions of a FEW to encompass the overall worthiness of a WHOLE POPULATION OF PEOPLE.

Doctor Meridian is wrong and genuinely evil and disturbing with how he treats them and him seeing them as dangerous and a pest needing to be eradicated nor should any of his views be agreed upon, no matter how much you may try to defend him. There's more I could add but for simplicity's sake but that's what I mainly will state. The rest of clarity can be discussed in the comments.

I'm not sure whether your lack of understanding of the show and its messaging you are discussing or your love for one of the major villains is clouding your judgement, but please read EVERYTHING here to its fullest extent. Nothing here is intended as an attack on your character (if you're somehow seeing it that way) but as a heavy critique of your views on this show and how you are analyzing things. I might sound like I'm yapping to yap or "it's not that deep", but it literally is. The show and it's writing make it a big point and I will refuse to accept any iteration of "you're making a mountain out of a molehill" type statements. If you have any questions or comments you're free to bring them up.

-With confusion and annoyance, Wizard.

-Footnotes- *By group of people, I refer to sapient (human minded) beings who are grouped by either race, ethnicity, nationality, religion, gender, sexuality, disability, etc. By this classification, Transformers are considered a group of people; even if they are "nonhuman" *If you are somehow seriously confused or appalled by me pointing out real world racism and xenophobia as parallels to what is being done by GHOST, Dr. Meridian, and your average run of the mill civilian, you need to reread absolutely everything. Racism and xenophobia are a huge talking point in the show and I refuse to retract this statement. *Cold Constructed means the transformer was made in a factory, more often than not to be a worker slave for whoever is demanding they be produced. Two characters off the top of my head who are cold constructed is Starscream and Megatron.

#transformers #transformers earthspark #ultimatefartwizard #maccadams #tf earthspark #discussion #terrans #transformers hashtag #transformers twitch #transformers nightshade #transformers thrash #transformers jawbreaker #transformers starscream #transformers megatron #genuinely how the hell did you end up at the conclusion you did #I had to discuss this the second I saw your post while scrolling #wizardyaps #ignore the tags #i will defend these robot aliens with my whole soul #I'm sorry I hate it when people miss the entire plot of a show #wizardrants #tired of the lack of critical thinking #transformers GHOST #dr meridian #mandroid #tf GHOST #Why are you defending a man's ideals that end up with him almost wiping out the population of transformers in like an evil genocide ray? #if they were human you'd definitely not be saying this.... I hope? Like I really hope you don't think this about irl people

[sihtricfedaraaahvicius]

Shooting a Movie part 4

Note: another thanks to @foxyanon for encouraging me while writing! & thanks to @legitalicat for coming up with a little nickname for a certain character ;)

reblogs & comments are very much appreciated, and make sure to read the previous chapters: part 1 - part 2 - part 3.

Warnings: 18+!! smut and a bit of angst.

pairing: Modern!Sihtric x you (f) / Modern!Masema x you (f)

summary: you continued to work with Sihtric, as well as with Masema.

wordcount: 5,4k

Masterlist

Your trip with Sihtric from Durham to London had been pleasant so far. He was a good driver and his energy was always positive and warm while he also eased your mind about your upcoming photoshoot. He would be there with you, and he promised that if anyone would even do as much as look at you the wrong way, he would tell them off. You were still nervous for your shoot, but knowing someone you feel safe with would be by your side made it easier.

You shared a hotel room together during your five day stay and also slept in the same bed, but Sihtric was respectful and never tried to have any sexual activities with you during the first two nights, despite aching to be intimate with you. He didn't know you would have never turned him down if he were to initiate something, but you also held off from making a move yourself because you wanted to keep things professional. And beside that, Sihtric was a real gentleman anyway, taking you out for lunch and dinner every day and always making sure you had everything you needed during your stay.

The first evening together was a little strange. You were both quite unsure about how to behave, as you were together for the first time without having any job to do or script to discuss. You eventually decided to watch some random tv in bed and, almost naturally, you ended up cuddling under the sheets. The butterflies you felt were overwhelming when you rested comfortably against Sihtric's bare chest while he had one arm wrapped around you, and you fell asleep like that not much later.

The second day you went over your contract together for the photoshoot, as Sihtric wanted to know what exactly you had agreed to, and after that you just did some sightseeing in the capital city. You ended up roaming the streets together, hand in hand, while you both slowly began to open up about some more personal things in your lives. And later that night, after dinner, you ended up all cuddled up in bed again to watch some easy tv, while Sihtric uploaded some content to his OnlyFans which he had already made before the trip. 

Sihtric chuckled when he saw the notification pop up on his phone that you had liked the video he had just shared, which was a rather sensual video of him jerking off in his shower, and you grinned when Sihtric looked at you with a mild side-eye.

'What?' you snorted, 'you know I see that stuff when you post it.'

'Yeah, well,' Sihtric laughed a little shyly, 'it's weird to see you're watching me touch myself while I'm literally next to you.'

'You should've thought about that before,' you smiled and shrugged.

Sihtric shook his head lightly and rolled his eyes while he smiled, 'Yes, okay, just… just stop watching now.'

'Fine,' you fake huffed and locked your phone, then rolled over to your other side of the bed and switched off the lights.

'Hey,' Sihtric complained.

'What?' you shrugged, 'I have to get up early tomorrow.'

'Fine,' Sihtric sighed, not even close to being annoyed but still pretending that he was, and he also put his phone down. 

And then, once again like the night before, he almost naturally cuddled up to you from behind while you both dozed off.

Today, the third day of your trip, was the day of the photoshoot. You arrived to set early to get your hair and make-up done, while Sihtric was present in your dressing room and just minding his own business, mainly scrolling on his phone and keeping up with what was going on in the industry. You occasionally glanced at him, without his knowledge, by looking in the mirror and seeing him sit behind you, looking so ridiculously sexy while he was just wearing some simple black sweatpants and a loose fitted black shirt, while the unshaved side of his head showed his messy curls. You felt truly blessed to have him around and cherished every second in his presence. And once you were all dressed and ready, Sihtric followed you quietly when you were called on set.

'Good luck,' he smiled and gave you a wink, to which you felt yourself blush and thanked him before you carefully walked in your enormous white latex heels to the mark on the floor.

Everything started off well, and Sihtric was glad to see you were treated decently. He was also glad to be there to witness your stunning look, as you were dressed in a tight fitting and dangerously short skirt with a matching white, stretchy crop top. And it all went fine, until the photographer, who Sihtric then realised was the Aethelred, told you to lower your top seemingly out of nowhere. Sihtric carefully monitored the situation from a distance and he watched your response before deciding if he had to interfere or not.

'My top? But…I,' you stammered, a little bewildered, 'I wasn't told…that…'

'Listen,' Aethelred sighed and threw his hands up, 'show those tits or go home, okay?'

You stared at the photographer, desperately fighting your tears and the tremble that was about to take over your lower lip. You were too ashamed to look for Sihtric in the crowded room, and your shaky hands then slowly reached for the neck of your white stretchy top, and you curled your fingers around the fabric as you swallowed hard. You came all this way and you needed the money, while Aethelred was also one of the most famous explicit photographers in the business, so you felt like you were in no position to disagree. But just before you could unwillingly expose your breasts, Sihtric jumped up from his chair and stormed over from across the room.

'Hey!' Sihtric shouted, which startled everyone on set, 'was that in the contract?'

Aethelred stared at you and then at Sihtric, not sure what to say as the man with fury in his mismatched eyes came closer, so he just laughed awkwardly while he felt his face turn red.

'Well, showing more skin will make her more popular,' Aethelred nervously argued while Sihtric got up in his face.

'But was that in the contract?' Sihtric asked again, more threatening this time as he already knew the answer to his own question.

'I… well…' Aethelred stammered.

Sihtric then looked at you and asked you the same question.

'No,' you said, barely louder than a whisper, 'this was not described as a topless shoot.'

Sihtric looked back at Aethelred, who was fuming as much as he was actually terrified.

'Well,' the photographer cleared his throat, 'if she wants to continue working in this industry, she better listens-'

'I think we both heard enough,' Sihtric cut him off and backed away, 'come,' he said as he came over to you, 'we're leaving.'

'But, Sihtric, I… I need the money,' you confessed quietly.

'You don't, let's go,' he said and held his hand out to you but he saw the clear doubt in your eyes, 'I got you, okay? You're not going to work with this guy anymore. Don't worry about the money.'

'But it's Aethelred,' you whispered, 'he… you know he's big in the industry, Sihtric, he can ruin my career if I leave now-'

'No,' Sihtric protested, 'he will not ruin your career. That is just what everyone makes you think so they can pressure you into undressing for them. But this is not how it works, sweetheart, trust me. This is not okay, and we're leaving,' he said sternly.

You needed a moment to let his words soak in, but then you took his hand. Sihtric attempted to walk you with him, past Aethelred, but the latter suddenly grabbed your arm and you gasped as he pulled you towards him and away from Sihtric.

'I will make sure you will never get hired again,' Aethelred hissed at you.

Sihtric turned and saw Aethelred's bruising grip on your arm, and he gave the photographer a harsh shove away from you to which every employee on set turned their heads and became quiet.

'If you touch her again,' Sihtric growled, 'I will fucking sue you!'

'Do you know who I am?' Aethelred scoffed, arrogantly.

'Do you know who I am?' Sihtric asked, to which Aethelred took a few steps back, 'and do you have any idea how hard I work to create a safe space for these girls in this industry? To keep them away from assholes like you? And I… I will fucking ruin you,' Sihtric nearly whispered as he got full up into Aethelred's face, 'and not ruin you in the pleasant kind of way, sweetheart. I can expose you for the creep that you are and then I will make sure you never get hired again. You got that, Aethelcunt?'

Aethelred didn't speak, he just stared at Sihtric with his jaw clenched. He knew his behaviour with girls had been awful, but no one had ever dared to confront him about it so he never cared, until now.

'I asked if you got that?' Sihtric pushed his question.

'Y-yes,' he said hoarsely.

'Good,' Sihtric said, 'now apologise to the lady.'

Everyone held their breath as they stared at Aethelred, the famous photographer who was finally being put in his place for his misogynistic behaviour over the years, and they all secretly enjoyed how embarrassed he was.

'I… I'm sorry,' Aethelred mumbled.

'What was that?' Sihtric spoke up, thickening the awkward tension.

'I said I'm sorry!'

'Good,' Sihtric smiled, satisfied at humiliating the poor excuse of a man, 'if I ever see your face again…'

Sihtric didn't have to finish his sentence for everyone to understand what would happen if they crossed paths again, and he circled his arm around your waist to help you walk back to your dressing room in those ridiculously high heels. You changed back into your own short black skirt with a comfy hoodie on top without saying a word, and after that Sihtric drove you back to the hotel, the drive being just as quiet as the dressing room had been.

There was a tension between the two of you since that moment on set, not an uncomfortable one or a threatening one, but there was something lingering and unspoken. A heavy pressure you both felt, which was building up as the drive back to the hotel continued, and with each passing second that gnawing feeling intensified. Sihtric felt his heart pounding in his chest when his eyes trailed off the road and to your bare legs, while you heard the sound of your own blood pumping in your ears as you looked at his hand clenched on the gear stick. You silently imaged his hand around your throat, while Sihtric imagined your legs thrown over his shoulders, and the quiet tension became thicker once you got out of the car and stepped into the hotel elevator. 

Sihtric stared at doors as they closed, his jaw clenched and his eyes dark, and the light shock the elevator gave when it went up seemed to be the moment you both lost control. You grabbed Sihtric's shirt while he immediately reached for your face, pulling each other closer and crashing your lips together in a passionate and heated kiss. Sihtric pushed you up against the steel wall and hooked his arms under your legs, lifting you with ease and you instinctively enveloped your legs around his waist while your lips never left his. You felt his tongue in your mouth as he kissed you with such force, it was almost painful but you were desperate to kiss him until your lips were bruised. Your tongues slid around each other's and your hand moved up in his curls, the other settled on his neck to keep the kiss as deep as possible while Sihtric moaned into your mouth and squeezed your buttocks with such force it bruised your skin.

The elevator came to a halt at the eleventh floor, and Sihtric lowered you down before the doors could open. You felt the ground beneath your feet as soon as the elevator bell sounded and you grabbed Sihtric's arm to pull him with you immediately once the doors opened. You almost tripped over your own feet because of the haste you were in, but Sihtric caught you in time and pulled you flush against him while he pushed you to walk backwards to the room.

'Eager,' Sihtric chuckled and kissed you intensely again.

Your back hit the door of your hotel room and, while Sihtric kissed you, your hands searched the pockets of his sweatpants for the keycard, but you felt something much more exciting and began to rub his hard cock instead.

'Back pocket,' he murmured and pushed his hips into yours.

You reached for his back pocket and fished out the card, then turned to swipe the key, but before you could open the door Sihtric had already shoved your skirt up and pressed his clothed arousal against your ass, while you were trapped between his body and the door. You smiled and pushed your behind back against his crotch, which earned you a low chuckle from Sihtric and then you finally pushed open the door. You both almost fell into the room and Sihtric was fast to kick the door shut behind him, then picked you up and threw you on the bed.

'I wanna fuck you so hard,' he breathed while mounted on top of you, lips lightly touching while he grinded his hips against yours, 'lovingly though,' he chuckled.

'Then fuck me hard, Sihtric,' you whispered with a smile and teasingly traced his jaw with your fingertips, 'lovingly or not.'

The next morning you woke up in Sihtric's arms, and you both figured you needed a shower after you ended up having sex once again the night before.

'You go first,' Sihtric murmured, still half asleep.

'No, you can go,' you smiled while you tried to keep your eyes open.

'Well,' Sihtric said and paused to yawn, 'maybe we should shower together then.'

'Maybe we should,' you giggled, your hands roaming his naked body under the sheets.

'Oh, you want it to be that kind of a shower?' Sihtric smiled, then rolled over and picked you up in his arms with ease and carried you into the fancy bathroom.

'Should we… film something?' you asked almost shyly.

'Do you want to?'

'Yeah, I mean now that I won't get paid for that photoshoot, you know,' you shrugged lightly, 'I need to earn some money.'

Yesterday after dinner, and after another wild sex adventure, Sihtric had told you that you should consider making exclusive content for your OnlyFans, while also making stuff on your own terms and selling it to the studio you have a contract with. That is exactly what Sihtric did and it worked for him, being in control of his own footage and who he works with while also having a safe environment to work in. It was a new way of working for you and you needed to get the hang of it, and you figured why not make a short video with Sihtric as your first exclusive OnlyFans content, as the demand for you two together was clearly there.

Sihtric was up for it, without a doubt, and he was quick to grab his tripod and the camera he always travelled with and used to shoot his own footage whenever he felt like it. Within minutes he had it set up and rolling, starting the shoot with you from behind, completely naked and sensually leaning in to feel if the running water had a pleasurable temperature. And everything that followed after was just as hot and steamy as you hoped it would be, and only a few hours later you had the ten minute long video uploaded to you page, which quickly gained the interest of many and you saw the number of your paid subscribers increase with each passing minute.

And so you figured that maybe Sihtric was right. Maybe this would be a good way for you to work and make money while still enjoying it, as you had full control over who you decided to work with, if with anyone. Because, like Sihtric, you could also just make solo content. And with that newfound motivation and confidence, you went home the next afternoon, after having shared the bed with Sihtric a few more times though.

'Thanks for everything,' you said after he had dropped you off at your home, 'for looking after me and helping me and all that. It means a lot.'

'Anytime,' Sihtric smiled, 'you take it easy. Focus on making your own content and I promise you will be just fine. And only work with those you are comfortable with, okay?'

'Like you?' you chuckled.

'Sure, like me,' he laughed softly, 'I'm always just a text away, sweetheart,' he said and pulled you in for a hug, then kissed your cheek to say goodbye and you promised each other to stay in touch this time.

While you and Sihtric texted on a regular basis since your trip, you found out after a few weeks that your OnlyFans content wasn't just popular amongst the porn consumers, but suddenly a lot of fellow adult movie stars wanted to work with you privately as well. And one of them being very persistent was Masema. Masema was all about making money, and he knew that right now you were one of the people who he could make a lot of money with. You knew he wanted to work with you again ever since that movie you made with him, but it seemed that after he saw your short video with Sihtric, and the success it had, he had only gotten more eager. 

He suggested shooting at least two videos, one for his page and one for your own, and maybe some explicit photos as well. You liked his idea and you couldn't lie either, you wouldn't mind shooting some footage with him, so you decided to accept his request. You met him a few weeks later at his insanely fancy house again, while dressed in one of your signature short skirts with knee high boots and a faux leather crop top.

'It's good to see you again,' Masema flirted right away with his soft spoken voice as you both had a seat on that famous loungeset near his pool.

'Good to see you too,' you smiled and couldn't hide a faint blush on your cheeks.

He looked insanely good, as always, wearing tight black jeans and a black shirt. You didn't feel the same way about Masema as you felt about Sihtric, but you weren't completely unaffected by his good looks and his smooth voice either. And Masema clearly knew the effect he had on basically every lady he met with for work, and he used it to his advantage. He thought you were hot, but he wasn't in love with you, yet he'd go out of his way to try and make you believe you were the only one for him to make you want him more and more. And so he lightly brushed his fingers against your arms and shoulders while you had some small talk, setting you on fire with each touch and making you so desperately needy for him.

'So you're good with the idea?' Masema made sure to double check.

'Two videos, right?' you recalled, 'one blowjob, which will be exclusively for my page, and one of us just fucking for your page, right?'

'Yeah,' Masema nodded, 'that should do it.'

You agreed and Masema took your hand, 'So what are you up for first, pretty girl?'

'I think we should film that sex video first because we both know you're going to ruin my make-up when you shove your cock down my throat,' you said deadpan, to which you both burst into laughter seconds after.

'Yeah, I'll apologise in advance for making you cry,' Masema said softly and took your chin as he leaned in, 'but you do look so fucking sexy all ruined by me like that,' he trailed his fingers down to your neck, 'and it makes me so fucking hard.'

'Shouldn't you save that talk for the video?' you purred.

'We better start filming then,' Masema murmured with a cheeky smile.

He took your hand and led you back inside and up the stairs. He had a large spare room set up, from where he filmed most of his videos, and it had a comfortable looking bed and a large couch against the wall. The entire room was painted a fresh white and it was cleaner than a dentist's office, which showed you how professional Masema actually was underneath his rugged and stern look.

'I'm surprised to see no chains and leather stuff,' you chuckled as Masema switched the camera on which he had set up already.

'I got another room for that, gorgeous,' Masema smiled, 'but I know you're not into that, or at least not as experienced yet, so I have no business taking you there.'

'You have another room?'

'Yeah,' he scoffed with a laugh, 'why do you think I have so many bedrooms? I have one room that's just where I sleep, and all the other bedrooms are more or less different sets for shooting at home.'

'You don't really shoot at studios then?' you frowned.

'Absolutely not,' Masema shook his head, 'I did it with you that one time, but it's not something I usually do because I want to be in full control of what I do. And as soon as I got well known and respected enough to be in control of that, I designed every room here to be a different space. This industry is nasty, sweetheart,' he sighed, 'it's better to be in control of your own footage, trust me.'

'Y-yeah,' you cleared your throat and sat down on the large bed, 'Sihtric told me the same thing. He also prefers to make his own content.'

'Sihtric,' Masema mumbled, 'yeah, he got his business well arranged too it seems. But you know all about that, don't you?' he smirked.

'What's that supposed to mean?' you chuckled.

'We all saw that livestream you did with him,' he said as he neared you, 'and that shower video you uploaded a few weeks ago. I gotta ask… are you two dating?'

'What? No,' you blushed, 'we're not dating.'

'You make a lot of footage together.'

'Yeah, but… we're not dating. He's been helping me set up a safer place too, like you did here for yourself. He's looking out for me, you know?'

'That's kind of him,' Masema said half-heartedly.

'Yeah,' you smiled, 'he really is the sweetest guy I know. No offence.'

'Well, fuck,' Masema laughed, 'you're in love with him, aren't you?'

'Oh, shut up,' you laughed and slapped his muscular chest.

'Fine,' he leaned in, smoothly taking your chin again, 'you could belong to me, you know?' he lied.

Masema was not a guy to settle down, but he enjoyed knowing he could probably steal a girl away from someone. And Sihtric was competition in the business, so if he could hurt him somehow, he'd do it.

'I don't belong to anyone, Masema,' you said quietly while your heart skipped a beat at his touch.

'I don't care if you belong to someone or don't,' he whispered and traced your lips with his thumb, 'because regardless, I'll make you forget about everyone else when I fuck you.'

Masema smiled darkly and winked, then moved away to start filming while you moved off the bed and took your position on his white couch, leaning back relaxed and seductively to welcome him over. Masema joined you by sitting next to you, and you started off easy by making out sloppily until he had you so needy, you sat in his lap and grinded his thigh desperately, to which he smiled darkly once again. He truly had corrupted you that first time, making your shy and innocent side disappear as soon as he kissed you, seeing you change into the needy girl you were for him, and he loved it.

'Good girl,' Masema smiled as he looked up at you, sitting back with his arms spread across the backrest, just watching how you tried to get off on your own.

'Please,' you whined after a few minutes, 'Masema,' you breathed, 'fuck me, please.'

'Beg for it,' he said sternly and didn't move an inch.

You then moved off him and down on the floor in front of him, looking up with pleading eyes as Masema got up and towered over you. He took your chin firmly as he leaned in.

'I said beg.'

'Please,' you mumbled with a dazed smile, 'fuck me, please.'

'Good girl,' he whispered, 'take off my belt.'

He stood back as you obeyed, taking off his belt and unbuttoning his jeans while your mouth nearly watered, but you knew you couldn't suck him off now, you had to save that for later. There was no oral pleasure planned for this video, just sex.

Masema took off his shirt and you kissed your way up his toned torso, leaving red lipstick smudges all over his skin and he picked you up before you could kiss his lips again. He threw you on his bed and tore your panties off along with your skirt. He grabbed your ankle and pulled you towards the end of the bed where he stood, and he wrapped his hand around your throat pleasantly while he pulled his cock out and spat on his hand before he gave himself a few good strokes.

'Beg,' Masema said curtly.

'Fuck me, please,' you said with your cheeky laugh as you squirmed desperately on the sheets, 'please.'

You spread your legs for him, and he teasingly slapped your wet pussy with his hard cock a few times before he entered you. You arched your back and moaned with pleasure as soon as he began to thrust into you so deeply, easing you into it at first, but before you knew it he fucked you so hard into the mattress with his hand still wrapped around your throat and the other holding your waist almost bruisingly as he had his way with you.

'Fuck,' you moaned, 'ah, god, yes, fuck me.'

'You dirty slut,' Masema growled and only went harder while you clenched the sheets in your hands, not holding back or having to fake any moans and gasps while you were ravaged in all the right ways until you could barely remember your own name.

You climaxed fast but Masema kept going, promising he'd make you cum twice while he continued to ravage you. He tossed you around the bed, taking you in different positions and spanking your ass multiple times.

'I'm going to cum again,' you whined as he fucked you hard and fast.

'I told you,' he breathed, 'that's okay, sweetheart, cum for me.'

'Fuck, fuck,' you nearly screamed and clawed at the pillows your face was pressed into, 'oh, please, fuck.'

'That's it,' Masema moaned, 'that's it, that's it, cum for me.'

You came with another loud moan and Masema pulled out shortly after, he stroked his cock almost violently while he pulled you to sit up and he grabbed your face with his free hand.

'Open,' he said with a low grunt.

You did what he asked while still half dazed and allowed him to cum on your tongue as you had stuck it out for him.

'Good fucking girl,' Masema said hoarsely as he stroked himself through his high, and he then kissed you before he switched off the camera.

In between filming that first video and the second one, Masema took good care of you by making sure you were all cleaned up and comfortable while you both recovered. You were dressed in one of his comfortable oversized shirts while Masema wore his black jeans again. You had made your way downstairs to the kitchen together, where he made you some "dinner". You quietly looked at the salad he was preparing as you sat on one of the barstools, and you suddenly missed the pizza and tacos you had with Sihtric after you had sex with him that afternoon you had walked away from the photoshoot.

Masema was very kind and wanted you to be comfortable, but you secretly longed to be with Sihtric now. Masema was not as lighthearted and also very strict about his working out and diet, while your other co-star was just as good looking and not strict at all. With Sihtric it was always comfortable and you could truly be yourself, but Masema's personality was so different that you always felt you had to stay in work-mode around him, so you never really had any deep conversations or got to know each other better. Which was fine too, but you couldn't resist texting Sihtric to let him know Masema was making you a salad while you missed the fast food you had shared in the hotel weeks ago.

To your disappointment Sihtric didn't reply and left you on read, which was an odd thing for him to do because he usually replied within minutes. You tried to not think much about it and, luckily, Masema was nice looking company too so you just observed him while he served the food. You both ate in silence, which was almost awkward, and after that you helped him load the dishwasher which was just as awkward. And the time you spent together in his living room was just as awkward for you as the previous moments had been. You and Masema had chemistry during sexual activities, but other than that there was genuinely no vibe.

'So, ready to shoot?' Masema asked about an hour later, much to your relief.

'Ready when you are,' you smiled.

You went upstairs again and both undressed, and you shot what was probably the sloppiest blowjob you had ever given someone in your life. The result was filthy but you were proud, because you knew this would earn you some good money. You both fixed yourself up separately and got dressed again, but as you wanted to leave you both suddenly saw the weather outside had turned rather dangerous as rain and wind was gushing forcefully.

'It's not safe to drive,' Masema said as he stood in the front door with you, 'you should stay until it clears up.'

'But that's tomorrow morning,' you said and showed him the weather app on your phone.

Masema was quiet for a moment as he stared in the dark distance, mindlessly tracing his fingers across his bare chest.

'Well,' he said softly, 'I guess it's better to stay the night then.'

You agreed, not entirely reluctantly, but you'd rather sleep in your own bed. Or with Sihtric. And the difference between both men became evident again once you laid in bed together, on the opposite sides of the mattress and with your backs turned to each other after having said good night.

You grabbed your phone and saw there was still no response from Sihtric, which unsettled you. You decided to upload the video that was shot for you OnlyFans, so it could spread across the viewers while you were asleep, and you tried to go to sleep then. You tossed and turned in bed for a while as Masema was already snoring next to you, and you grabbed your phone again after a few long minutes, checking to see if Sihtric had texted you back already. But there still wasn't any reply, and with a lump in your throat you decided to text him again.

You: thinking of you, handsome xx

You saw Sihtric read your message immediately upon sending, as he was in his own bed, contemplating to text you before you reached out again. He ached, badly, knowing that you had been with Masema that night and having seen the video you shared had simply crushed him. He knew it was just work, and that's all it was, but he couldn't get over it and it frustrated him beyond words. Maybe this business wasn't for him anymore, he pondered before he finally wrote you back, and then threw his phone across the room and cried himself to sleep.

Your eyes teared up when Sihtric's message appeared, and you wept silently while you laid next to Masema in the dark and quiet room.

Sihtric: missing you deeply, angel, so much I feel it could kill me.

taglist: @foxyanon @alexagirlie @sihtricsafin @neonhairspray @gemini-mama

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#sihtric x reader #masema x reader #sihtric kjartansson #the last kingdom #sihtric #sihtric x you #sihtric fic #tlk #tlk au #sihtric au #masema #masema dagar #modern!masema #modern!sihtric

[thekats]

2AM thoughts

CW: suggestive content, mentions/discussion of SA/rape

I just saw (again) a post with that Lae'zel-Halsin banter that's like 'has he killed more or fucked more in his 350 year alive?' and he goes 'chimera has 3 heads but does it count as one creature?' Then Lae'zel says 'must have been a challenging kill' and he replies 'yes... kill' (sorry, my palm brushed the back button and the post was lost from view or I'd have done this as a reblog, but again it's 2am, I'd scrolled for a while until it popped up and I'll have forgotten by the time I get up again).

Now, I see three potential readings for this and I'm not saying any of them are more or less valid, just wanted to package them into wordsies:

A) Halsin is doing a funny. From banter with Shadowheart (for example) we see that he does have a funny bone. I'm thinking in particular the animal noises she offers to make to make him feel more at home in the shadow-cursed lands and him going 'you bleat well enough as is'. Yup, can absolutely be read as 100% serious, but doesn't really match his character. Think also the 'you're so big and strong and muscular and huge hunky-hunk-man for an elf' dialogue option in camp. His reply 'really?' is, for a split second, convincingly genuine, but he instantly reveals that 'ha-ha! Tricked you, of course I know I'm a big beefy himbo guy for an elf, we have fun.' Not to play the autism card, but this humour is very popular among autistics, I don't make the rules. Allistics frequently don't get it, especially because we use it with such earnestness that it can be tough to see the intention of a joke.

The chimera banter does fit that pattern.

B) He did fuck that chimera, he is a monsterfucker. Obviously, this is the favourite option for both Halsin-stans and Halsin-...crams... it's 2.19am, fuck off.

Him horny, him 'old', him horny and old, he fuck monsters. We don't know when he did it, how he did it, why he did it. Maybe he really was just horny and he put all of y'all's hear-me-outs to shame (I'm not a monsterfucker, personally, I can't even bring myself to fuck Halsin in bear form, so I don't have any hear-me-outs). Maybe there was something external at play. Maybe it's Maybelline(TM R C and such). Honestly, good for him. All we know for sure is that he checked in with that chimera to make sure it was all consensual beginning to end. Absolute king. I'd believe that a chimera would get the hots for him. He can get it.

3) He did have sexual intercourse with a chimera, but it wasn't consensual on his part. "But Kats," I hear you scream (I don't, humour me), "why would he be so chill about it then?!" The drow. He says himself in his Sharess' Caress afterglow dialogue that the way he speaks of the events now isn't necessarily representative of the severity of the events. Ffs he reports being raped, a sex slave for three years, and still 'some of it was done willingly'. My bro, my boo, son. N.O.! Just because it was "in their nature" as lolth-drow or some shit does not make it excusable! Just because you got a hard-on, a natural bodily reaction that has nothing to do with willingness or consent, does not mean you have to downplay what happened, even if that makes it easier in your own mind. Therapy. You, me and someone qualified. And Astarion. And Gale. And Derryth Bonecloak, honestly... NOW!

I would not be any more surprised than with the other two options if this were the tale behind that... story. Martel, I am running out of vocabulary here, but you know what I mean.

Anyway, again, I don't consider any of these more or less true/likely than each other. Perhaps there's even other options? Perhaps there's official info on it that I haven't come across yet bc I've had the game for 3 weeks and there is just so much content all of the time. Yeah, just wanted to lay down my 2 cents. Okay, nighty night!

#halsin #halsin bg3 #please dont let me wake up to hate this in the morning #future-me? current-me is sorry that past-me started writing this 45minutes ago

[happyk44]

Saw that post about Nico and Annabeth being gamers and their fanbase trying to figure out, between Percy and Jason, which one the two were dating and ofc I had to polyam it because babes that is who I ammmm.

Anyway that post as is: but Nico is dating Percy and Jason (and he and Annabeth also have their own thing going on but it's very casual non-labeled, let's make Percy suffer type of thing because I am Percicobeth at heart), so after Annabeth posts the short video of her small wedding ceremony, everyone assumes that they've figured it out, until Percy passes by in the background of one of Nico's streams and calls him babe.

And everyone is just ?? At first they assume Annabeth must be back there or Percy said babe by accident or uses it at a catch-all term for affection or smth Bc Nico didn't even seem phased. And his fans prod, like, do you live with Annabeth and Percy, and Nico is just "yeah sometimes", which answers nothing for them.

In the middle of one of Annabeth's streams, someone asks her if she went on a honeymoon and she's like yeah, Percy's dad gave us a trip to *insert island of your choice* and she pulls up some photos she took to discuss the architecture behind the buildings. Percy is in the background of a lot of the pictures, doing a variety of poses that amuse everyone, until someone spots Nico in one of the pics - slightly blurred and out of focus but very much there, and they're all ??? "Did Nico come with you?" yeah. "On your honeymoon?" Yeah.

Annabeth shows a picture of Nico soaking in a tub of oatmeal with a scowl on his face because he got a really bad sunburn, and then goes back to lecturing about architectural design and how the structure of the buildings benefits them against the climate, etc etc etc.

Everyone is so confused.

Annabeth gets really into whatever you do in Minecraft and answers zero questions after that.

There become wild theories that Nico and Percy are cheating on their respective partners. Some people think that the obvious long-haul friendship between the four is what is keeping Jason and Annabeth from breaking up with them. Other people think that the two are completely unaware.

There are a couple polyamory theories but not as many people pay those any mind, because that's less dramatic.

Eventually though, after months of arguing between fans and a few probing questions that go ignored, the reality becomes obvious during pride month where Annabeth posts a few photos of her attending NYC pride. The whole friend group is in tow, and everyone is pleased to see more of the people that show up in the background of the two's streams/videos/monologues.

The second to last picture of the day is Nico sandwiched between Percy and Jason, the two of them kissing his cheek while he blushes. It sparks so much insanity that people dive to the comments without scrolling on and are greeted with reminders to look at the last photo.

Which is Annabeth pushing Percy away by his face while she kisses Reyna (who's got the lesbian flag on her cheek obvi), Nico hugging her from behind, face nuzzled into the crook of her shoulder and neck. The picture is obviously very lighthearted and teasing and cute. But people still go insane about it. What does it mean?? What did the other picture mean? Who is dating who? Did Percy and Annabeth break up? What is going on?

(the polyam suggestions once again go mostly ignored in favour of the drama)

Nico ignores all the pushing questions because he's really only ever on social media to post videos or stream, but they take up so much of the commentary (even with people getting booted out by mods or other people reminding them that they have a right to privacy and to stop asking) that Annabeth gets really frustrated because, ugh, this isn't what her channel is for. So she opens up on a stream with the clear cut facts. It's polyamory. It's always been polyamory.

(Polyam fans are thrilled they were right)

"I'm married to Percy. I have a girlfriend who lives in LA. Nico is dating Percy and Jason. We have our own thing going on too because sexuality is weird and Nico is cute and also Percy gets stupid about it, and that's always fun. It's been like this for years, we're doing fine. It's literally not that big a deal, move on."

People who keep questioning things get booted from the chat, and everything mostly dies down for the rest of the stream. Until nearish the end, Nico comes in to ask her what she wants for dinner and she's too absorbed in what's she doing to hear him, so he parks himself in her lap like he's done it a billion times because obviously he has and squeezes her cheeks until she starts paying attention to him.

Everyone goes fucking insane about it again.

#percicobeth #happy talks pjo #nico di angelo #annabeth chase

[babyspacebatclone]

I happened to find this interview transcript from ND Stevenson regarding a lot of his work while looking for something else.

And while scrolling down to find what I was looking for, I saw a gif of Catra with a captured Adora from “White Out,” and I had to read the paragraphs around it.

And just…. Stevenson is not a good showrunner. 😬

First of all…

Catradora being endgame???

I’m not sure the rest of the crew had been told that!!!!

ND: …But is also, I think, a good thing to see representation of characters making the wrong choices and doing the wrong thing. And Catra is defined by that. This was [something that] the crew [asked about as well]. People would come and they'd be like: "so, you told me that she's gonna join the good guys again, right? She'll be OK? When is that going to happen?" And people started to stop believing me that it was going to happen.

I’m sorry….

What the actual boiling salt???

The other people helping you make this series…

Started to stop believing you that Catra was ever going to be redeemed?????

I don’t care if that actually happened or not.

That’s not something you make up to sound cute!!!

There’s only two options: You didn’t tell the people helping you make the show what was happening in the show, or you don’t think acting like you would treat your fellow crew with that amount of disrespect and disregard for the product makes you look like anything but an idiot who can’t be trusted!

Either way: Bad showrunning!!!

This is not to talk against withholding plot points etc. on a limited basis: The Good Place did not tell most of the main cast a major plot twist until it was time to get ready to make the relevant ep:

(The article and enclosed video have spoilers for the first season of The Good Place)

But the season would not have worked if the writers didn’t know the twist the entire season was building towards. The audience wouldn’t have been able to watch it all again and say “Yes, this makes sense, I know why these background characters are doing this now.”

ND: AJ [Michalka], who voices the character, I would [tell her] "We have a big run for you today, Catra is going to do something new, but I promise that she's going to be OK in the end". And she'll be like: "yeah, sure, you say that every time".

Now, compare that to The Good Place cast reaction to learning they’d had enforced method acting:

In truth, the cast was forgiving after the deception. "It was good not to know until the very end," [William Jackson] Harper told EW earlier this summer. "It's just part of the character to not know. In a way, it's like Ted, Kristen, and Mike made me a Method actor against my will, which is great! Who knows what I would have done?"

Now, potentially, this is just a good PR lie for the press. Although the reactions show in the video support the cast being impressed with the twist, and understanding how it fit into the show, and their role in it.

But again: The Good Place example is not the same as ND withholding all the information relevant to the plot itself to themself. (apparently)

The actor playing the mastermind of The Good Place twist knew the plot, and could create a performance that worked towards that plot.

Michalka was, apparently, not told how Catra’s story was going to go. She had to take everything on Stevenson’s word.

And as someone currently working for a boss where I have to just accept whatever version of reality he’s decided is in play today - that’s fucked up.

(example of my boss: Apparently, we don’t need annual reviews. Except also apparently the sit down I had with him - the daycare owner - and my director after my surgery recovery time where we discussed how ready I felt to return to duties on schedule counted as my review. Except that was in May, and when I mentioned to my director in September I hadn’t had a review since the previous March she agreed with me. Since she was working literally two full time positions I didn’t want to push her to ask the owner about it then…. Anyway, just more of his bullshit.)

Also….

ND: And that, I think, in it's own way can be something that also tells us how to make decisions ourselves. So when you see somebody who we sometimes want to scream [at], sometimes we're compelled to do things that make us a bad friend or bad people. And it's important, I think, to know the consequences of those wrong decisions. [emphasis mine]

I agree.

It’s great to represent characters who make bad decisions, because of their personal traumas.

And if that happens, it’s necessary to show the consequences of those decisions.

I completely agree.

Why the boiling rain didn’t we see Catra suffer the consequences of her leading the war on Etheria?

The consequences of repeatedly placing Adora in deadly situations??

Trying to stop Adora from preventing the reality of Despondos from collapsing???

Edit: Oh, and actively blaming Adora for it, purposefully triggering Adora’s trauma??? The woman she later claims to have “loved the entire time”??????

Where were those consequences, Stevenson???

Can you fucking answer me there???

#salt #narrative structure #showrunner #what the actual fuck #tw babybat swears #because this is employee abuse #just #fucking employee abuse #if true #fuck this

[nukenai]

Something very weird happened on Sunday. Talk of animal death... as usual lately.

It was what felt like the first real day after losing Zero. The past 30 or so hours had been a complete nightmare. I was in bed just scrolling on my phone on facebook.

I saw a post in my local horse group about something. I saw posts about that kind of thing a lot, but this time I just sorta went. Huh.

Then my dad called to check on me again. He had called me a lot in that short time. We were chatting, he just wanted to know how I was hanging in there and if I could do anything.

Then he asked me what I was planning. If I knew if I was going to get another dog. He told me he knows Samoyeds aren't cheap, and even sheepishly said if I wanted to get another one, that he could help me out.

I'd been thinking about it for a while. The conclusion I came to was... well, of course I wanted to get another dog. I'd been preparing my house for a puppy since february. I have a house full of puppy supplies. But, I don't want another Samoyed right now. First of all the cost, which wasn't really something I discussed with the breeder because refunds are just not... usually a thing, you know, and it's a rough topic to bring up because she's very upset too (she spent 9 weeks with those puppies, literally raised them from birth... so yeah). But, I'm not prepared to spend that amount a second time right now. Maybe sometime in the future, maybe after Striker passes, I'll want a Samoyed again. But I think it would maybe cause a bit too much pain to have one so soon.

But not just another dog in general. People get very judgmental about grief... I understand that people want to say, "don't rush into anything" after something happens. But I feel like that makes more sense when you, say, lose an older dog to age or illness. Because maybe getting a brand new dog after spending so much time with your one dog would be very hard on your soul.

But I went through the loss of a puppy. Of course I was attached to Zero, and loved him with all my heart and soul for the just-under-a-week I had him. But it's different. I had spent so much time preparing, and now there's just this terrible void where all my efforts had been.

And, well. I do stupid things in my life. Sometimes things don't work out. But there's always a way to remedy the situation. Say I got a dog but it wound up making everything so much worse. I'd either contact that person I got him from, or find someone else to take him. Whatever. Life will work out. It is literally never the end of the world to like, get a dog when you're slightly underprepared. There would be another home for him.

The post I saw on facebook was for a corgi puppy. Corgis are not really dogs I actively considered. Of course they're cute as fuck, but I kept telling myself, "no more herding breeds" on principle from how difficult Striker has been. But the ad was for ONE corgi puppy. Just one. Not a whole litter.

I thought, at the very least, it couldn't possibly hurt just to reach out and see what's up. See how much he was, that sort of thing.

So I get on the phone with this woman. She sold a litter of puppies for friends of hers with purebred corgis who bred them. The price was... honestly, astonishing, and felt like a red flag, because she only wanted $425 for him. I asked her, politely, why. Her response was: "I'm doing what they told me to. They sell their dogs only as pets, and they think it's ridiculous to charge upwards of $2,000 for a dog that isn't going into a show ring. Doesn't matter if they have show lines, the majority of people just want a companion. So I'm doing what they say."

I found that... admirable, honestly. So I asked why just he was available.

He was supposed to be picked up that morning. A woman had claimed him a couple weeks ago, the whole litter had sold instantly. But that morning, the woman's horse suddenly colicked and died, out of nowhere. She was devastated and said she wanted to hold off on a puppy for now.

I was so shocked. What a weekend of horrible tragedies. I'm not really a superstitious person, but that just felt so odd that this one puppy would become available, and I would see the post right as I'm scrolling facebook, and it was because someone else tragically lost a beloved pet.

He wasn't that far away, a 45 minute drive. So I thought, well, it can't hurt to go see him.

I had told the woman what happened with Zero. She offered such condolences and assured me it was a freak accident. I told her I was worried about judgment if I got another dog. She told me, "You can't worry about other people. You have to do what's right for you."

We exchanged stories about animal tragedies. Her husband's horse dropped dead when they ran out to Tractor Supply for 20 minutes. A friend of hers accidentally kicked their new puppy who was hidden in a dark hallway, because she walked with a limp, and the dog was killed instantly.

Horrible, freak things happen. Sometimes it's our fault, sometimes not, but we didn't MEAN for them to happen. Maybe they could've been prevented. Maybe not. Literally all we can do is keep moving forward in our lives, the way that feels right. Sometimes the universe turns in cruel, awful ways. But it'll keep turning, so it's up to you whether you look backwards or forwards.

This woman also had had corgis, she told me only recently she had to put her old female down due to cancer. She sang their praises.

I know this post is 40,000 words long but. i've been through a lot you have to be fucking nice to me. The culmination of it all is that yeah, I took him home. If he had been much more expensive than that, I wouldn't have.

Sometimes weird shit happens. Maybe it's a "sign", maybe not. But I do know that I went from staring at an empty dog crate full of un-played with toys stuffed into the corner of my office, to watching those toys be played with again, and getting up in the morning to open the crate door to let a dog outside.

The little one doesn't have a name yet, and this is technically the fourth day I've had him. It's pretty hard, but I know I'll get there. There's no rush, he has no idea what's going on right now anyways. I do feel like I made the right decision for myself, and I don't need to listen to any judgment. No one has been anything but kind, loving, and sympathetic to me, so I have no reason to think I'd have people being nasty behind my back. I guess I'm just traumatized from the 2 times people were weird to me about having a horse!

Anyways. Check out this little man. Whatever his name will be...

#long long post #end is very worth it i promise

[amethyst-noir]

Hey, I'm not sure if you have explained this somewhere or its something you don't wish to discuss (I apologise in advance for starting this conversation in that case). I actually have been obsessing over your works about Drpepperony on Ao3 for a while now (its amazing! Not just the ideas cause they are on point but even your writing is so beautiful, thank you soooo much for uploading them btw. It always brings me joy to read them and on sad days I find myself gravitating towards your written work.) I've realised you don't really post drpepperony anymore and I can't find anything similar on your tumblr either. Have you lost interest in the theme? I did read a post you had tagged about your account being gone and I'm so sorry for all the hurt and terror that must have caused. But yeah sorry I'm not too well versed in the tumblr Ao3 world from a creator viewpoint and I just got curious if you will ever go back to drpepperony and just to ask how you have been doing. Thats all I suppose :)

Hi!

So, first of all sorry that it took me a couple of days to get to this lovely ask of yours. Second, thank you so much! 💜 I'm so happy you like my drpepperony stories! They are such an cute OT3 but I'm sorry to say that I have lost interest, along with the whole of the MCU. I haven't kept track of any of it for a while now. (Black Widow and the first two episodes of Moon Knight were the last two things I saw of it.)

I've been writing in other fandoms until recently. Things are going on and writing is not really happening anymore. I hope it will return one day, for whatever fandom. I'd like to finish at least the 3 The Untamed WIPs I have lying around; I see no chance for the MCU WIPs that are sleeping on my computer.

While I was still holding on for a while after Endgame my love for it was starting to fade after that movie. I still have one unposted Ironstrange (not drpepperony, sorry!) story lying around, actually.

Yes, I managed to nuke my account twice in a row while trying to answer an ask a couple of years ago. That was a weird bug and I'm glad I got it back - yes, it was rather stressfull at the time and I would have been heartbroken if I had lost this blog. While my actual stories are backed up a couple of times many of the headcannony stuff is only here. I should probably change that but that requires more time, energy and brainpower than I currently have. Let's hope this site doesn't implode anytime soon.

Which brings me to your question of there being drpepperony on my blog. There actually is! I don't know if you did a bit of tag crawling here or not but I have snippets and headcanon style written things for them here. They can be found under #drpepperony and #amy imagines but you have to scroll through the Ironstrange and Tony/Stephen/Wong stuff as well. Sorry. My tagging system has never been the best. 😅

Again, your ask has made me so happy and made me smile every time I thought about it! 🥰 I'm sorry I can't give a "better" (happier) answer.

Drpepperony will always have a place in my heart but it's a fond memory by now, alongside the other pairings I have loved and written for in the past.

#inbox #kvjjjjjj #seriously this made not only my day but my week #i got one not very nice comment on a drpepperony fic a long while ago and i'm still thinking about it from time to time #or i should rather say a wtf comment #it was nice to get such a love letter to them 💌

[rosyandraw]

Nena! I have too much to say I'm actually embarrassed to send you this long ask. I hope you don't mind..... 🥺

Well first Hihi your berry anon here 🫐🍒

How've you been doing? How's life treating you?

I honestly got super excited and happy the other day when I saw your post on my fyp so I sent that all over the place and I didn't even ask how you were.... So rude of me. 🫣

Now going into a deep discussion about nmfy... I need to tell you that I missed your writing you are so talented it always blows my mind. So it was a treat reading your fic again.

This chapter fuuuck you made me feel every single emotion Laurent had ... His love and his anger felt so real 😭 and August... Well I'm going to be 100% honest usually I don't care too much about characters that our narrator doesn't care much about (damen) even more if they are never there. Yet I really like your August, I liked him even more because fics often write him like a perfect person and to me he doesn't feel real. I get that to Lauren, who was a kid with a 10 years older brother, August was/is perfect but reading him like that doesn't feel real. So kudos to your August to be real, to have flaws, feeling beside loving Laurent etc.

About him and Damen..... I'm always with whoever tells the story so in this case Laurent and I'm with him I would also feel jealous as fuck and like I'm the second option. And I keep imagining what would happen if both needed Damen at the same time who would he choose what would happen. 🧐🧐🧐

I think Damen's reaction to laurent and Bastian was so good and in character for a Scorpio. Those assholes I love them and I hate them (my dad and my two best friends are 🦂♏)

I read your answer about him being an Scorpio and I agree completely but something funny to me is that if I didn't headcanon Vere/Akielos as Europe and they were from my side of the world Damen would be a Taurus and Laurent an Scorpio and that make sense to me too. Haha I hc them like you but I think it is funny that they still work the other way around.

Also I don't know how you feel about this but...... August is definitely an Aries... Hear me out he's a natural leader, a good fighter (the best Laurent has seen) willing to die for what he believes/loves. Impulsive with a chaotic maybe even obsessed personality while also makes him lose interest very fast. Aries and Scorpio (damen) are an amazing good/bad relationship because both are very intense. I think an Aries would def kill someone like August did very messy and passionately impulsive irrational and they would 100% call their Scorpio best friend a more dark strategist who won't panic because they are capable of killing too. But he would also be great at planning how to get rid of the evidence. They (we haha im an Aries too) are also kinda selfish which I feel August is like he thinks Damen hates him for mixing him in his secrets yet he keeps calling. But I'm suree you have you hc for him so please tell me everything even if you think he is a idk a cancer soo please tell me everything.

And to finish this crazy thing I saw what you did with Ancel and Berenguer and I loved it and I need moree. ... Pleaseeee I'm begging you 🙏🏼🙏🏼 just lil spoiler just a lil moment of them interacting 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

Ps. I still remember all the kinky shit we used to talk for Damen and Laurent so for now Im gonna sit and enjoy the angst but please know that I'll come back with the evidence if we eventually don't get some of it for them hahahaha jkjk fk as you please with your fic you are such an amazing writer that I trust you.

Kisses kisses, thank you for sharing this update. Have a lovely weekend. 💕💜💕💜💕

B🫐

Omg I absolutely do not mind, this is the BEST. It’s so unbelievable that you care enough so please don’t apologise! 💕

I’m good thank you lovely, life has been good! New job, engaged, all that fun stuff haha. How’s life for you?

Gonna put the rest under a cut because teeny spoiler near the end and also so people don't have to scroll haha.

Noooo, you’re never rude my dear!!

Aww I’m so glad you love Auguste, I wanted to do something a bit different with him and I LOVE him personally, he feels very personal to me. I love flawed characters, all of my characters are a mess because people are messy you know?

Haha I know what you mean! I think Laurent’s insecurity is pretty huge. I think if Auguste and Laurent called at the same time Auguste would have to wait haha tbh. Damen would either call someone to go get Auguste or he’d go get Laurent and then they’d go get Auguste.

Damen is… well let’s just say we haven’t necessarily had Damen’s full reaction just yet. Or Laurent’s for that matter. Whoops!

Omg my dad is a scorpio too and so is my stepmother haha

Oooo that’s fun! They do work the other way around for sure. And don’t I love Auguste Aries! I didn’t’ go as in depth for Auguste’s tbh, the only real placement I put down for him was Scorpio Moon, not just as a counterpoint to Damen but because Scorpio is a pretty volatile moon sign imo. But Aries sun I absolutely vibe with 100%, everything you said is perfect and works well with Damen’s character too.

Haha I do have another little glimpse of Berenger/Ancel in the next part, idk if Berenger will ever make an actual appearance in this fic, but you will get a little more about what’s going on with him and Ancel! I promise!!

OMGGG stay tuned because I accidentally wrote something kinky and it wasn’t meant to be there but they just started talking and before I knew it I’d written a 2k kinky scene so. Erm. that is that!!! I would LOVE to hear your thoughts on it when I eventually edit the crap out of it and post haha

(Also Ancel/Berenger is a side pairing in my next fic too, it’s like 15k one shot but they are there and I thought of you when I wrote them in haha)

Thank you my lovely, I always love to hear from you 💕💕

#berry anon #asks #nmfy

[silentlysurrenderingeagle-blog]

Chapter 1: My Shiva: How we met

A time came when I thought I should be moving out of my comfortable bed, making a life for myself. I came to Mumbai from Kolkata. I had some savings from the previous startup. I bought a small boutique store in the suburbs. I bought a tiny 2BHK, all investments. I created my page on all social media platforms, hoping to promote it online. I knew I needed enough to survive a year without any profit.

But the expenses were too much for me. I was almost on the verge of calling my parents and telling them "Yes Baba. You were right. I failed again. Can you give me some money?". But I didn't. I pushed myself. Posted a roommate ad on my social media page. I heard the rents in Mumbai were high. The guy who has rented the place next to mine pays 35000 monthly for a similar 2BHK. It would not hurt to make 15000 per month by renting out the spare room.

I was new to the city. The city truly had its charm. Of course it was not Kolkata. But now when I think of it, the only thing that binds me to Kolkata were my people. My parents, my brother, my friends. I had no one in this strange city. One night, as I was scrolling through my timeline on Facebook, I saw Nids. She was my classmate in school. It was a picture of her standing on a clearway at Marine drive while I could see the waves crashing behind her.

A week later I received a reply from Nids. She wrote, "Hi Sree. I am in town. Come by. This is my number. Ping me. Let me share with you my address". My days were busy. But I was free in the evening. Most evenings were spent reading, cooking, chores and more chores. I hadn't met anyone familiar in years. I was excited, but hoped the address was close by. Though trains were an easy transport throughout the city, I was not familiar with trains. I would need a cab or an auto.

Almost immediately, she sent me her address. It was 15km from my apartment. Now, you should know something about women. We have stages of dilemma, especially when you have not dressed up in a while. First, everything should match. If you have not waxed your legs, you can't risk a short dress. If you have a heel you want to wear, you will have to get a bag and dress that matches it. Second, lack of motivation. So much energy goes in trying out clothes with shoes, in changing and changing till you find a perfect one for the occasion, but by then you are exhausted. Third, when you see a woman in her boxy tshirt and jeans, you should know that she could not succeed in getting a match. She wore the most comfortable clothes she could muster at the moment.

But I was motivated. After a year, I was finally meeting a friend, someone familiar. I didn't have to try hard to look good. She was a friend. She had seen me in two pony tails in school. Anything I wear would be better than that. And so I did. I wore my own brand, though my clothes had not yet become my brand. I have hardly sold 100 pieces since I opened my boutique. But it was one of my best. I wore a beige pant, paired it with a white short top, a grey blazer and a rose gold chain neckpiece to match all. I wore my rose gold watch and a brown pump heel. I was ready. I tied my hair in a knot. Applied lipstick blush and eyeliner, I was ready.

I was at the door. She texted that she would be on the 3rd floor. The door of her apartment was intricately designed in wood with a frosted glass panelling on the sides. I heard the door knob click from inside and as it opened, I saw a girl standing at the door. "Yes. Who do you want?" She said. I was startled. I thought I was meeting her alone. But I could clearly see this was a party. There were 10 people inside all seated around a small coffee table.

"Hi! I am Sneha. I am here to meet Nids, sorry Nidhi Sharma. She invited me"

Just then, from behind the door, a head peeped out.

"Hi Sree! Come in. It has been a long time"

She came forward and gave me a tight hug. Yes that's Nidhi, my childhood friend Nids. I remember we often discussed our life plans when we were young. I used to tell her, "Please. If you ever get married, don't invite me. I can't bear to have veg food at a friend's wedding." And sometimes " You know how I want to die? At the age of 80, on the laps of my husband with my forehead lined with sindoor and my grandchildren by my side. I would be smiling to them, a sign that I have lived my life to the fullest." On seeing her after so long all those memories came rushing back.

She took my hand and we entered her parlor. She introduced me to her guests. "Guys, meet Sree. I call her Sree. She is Sneha. She was my best friend in school." I took a place on the sofa. I placed my bag on the side, awkwardly. I was not expecting a bunch of strangers.

"Hi! Would you like a drink?" said one of her friends

"Yes. But I have to work tomorrow. So, I would like a glass of juice, please." But as I said this, I could hear my head telling me "Shut up!"

She chuckled. I wanted a place to dig a hole and bury myself out of embarrassment. Just then Nidhi came to my aid. "Riddhima, stop. She does not drink. Here. This is my favourite mocktail punch. Nothing fancy. Just some soda, fruits and cold drink". She was holding a glass with some transparent drink. I could see slices of pomegranate, apple and lemon beneath.

"Thank you." I took the glass.

"Come on. Give it a try"

I took a sip. It tasted like Sprite with fruits. Not bad.

"Guys, let's play. This is Game Night. We should play. Teams decided yet?" It was a man. He had a long canvas stand in his embrace. He set it down and smiled at his audience. That's when I saw him. My Shiva!

[memorydragon]

So I thought I was going to take a day off from ranting about how mental I am because of these gay cops, but nope. Normal levels have not receded.

First of all, I really do adore Bu Chonghua. He's a condescending prick at times, but I love him and I love how Huai Shang lets him be so very wrong at times.

Even when that wrong hurts like fuck.

There's this moment when they're both out of town-ish to interrogate someone and they stay in the same room because it's too late to go back. That morning, Bu Chonghua sees Wu Yu walking around, half asleep and shirtless and completely relaxed, and he realized that at some point, Wu Yu has marked him as 'safe'. And yes, I'm normal about that, but the point is, when exactly did Wu Yu mark him as such?

I made that post about misunderstandings being well done in this plot, but I need to clarify that there are sometimes Bu Chonghua is a condescending prick and Wu Yu is very correct when he's calling acab. The first time I read through it, I was like, yeaaaaaah, Hua-ge, I love you, but you're really being a condescending prick. And Wu Yu was well deserved in bitching him out.

The second time I read through it, it hurt like a fucking truck. Putting aside my personal flashbacks of being othered by someone who thinks you're part of 'them' while being completely and totally dismissive of my identity, when Bu Chonghua tries to draw the line between criminal scum and say they don't change, he was off. He was so off by miles and Wu Yu sneers and says he'll never become like Bu Chonghua because he really, really fucked that one up.

Which is why not even half an hour later when Wu Yu gets triggered so badly he's throwing up his stomach lining (onto Bu Chonghua's shirt XD), it had to be so jarring. Because Bu Chonghua correctly assesses his ptsd (which he knows, because he's been living that same empty life and have I mentioned I'm Normal about these trauma kittens?) then says 'I want to pull you back from that.'

If you saw my post from yesterday, yes I've been thinking about this all day to the point I can't even keep reading because massive fucking ow. Now, if you've been following me for a decent length of time, you're probably aware how I feel about spoilers. Namely, I don't care a wit about them. You can spoil me anytime and I won't care. Honestly, I prefer spoilers on some things (not to be hipster, but I was into tgcf before any of my friends and I would have really liked a spoiler about certain things but had no one to give them to me) and my enjoyment always comes from the journey rather than the destination in most cases. My spoiler tag is a polite accommodation for everyone else, which I sometimes completely forget to do, but I do try to keep up with it. (On that note, I'm so sorry, tgcf donghua second season was completely untagged for that. I completely forgot. -_-;;; ) That said, what I'm about to discuss is one of the few times I've actually danced around a major spoiler, because this one is quite big. I've avoided mentioning it explicitly in my previous posts about Tun Hai, but I'm about to mention details. So this is your warning, I'm about to talk about a spoiler that even I consider to be a significant one. If you don't want spoilers, scroll past and don't click the read more.

Because the only two people in his life who have ever genuinely cared about him and not who they thought he was wanted to take him out of that hell. Because his aunt gave him a name he can no longer use, because Xie Xing came back just for that promise. Because he's been forced to live someone else's life, the life of the only person who gave a damn, because he wants so badly to escape to a place where poppies aren't grown and he can't do that as himself. Because he's carrying Xie Xing's wish that he lives on for the both of them. And just fucking ow, little fish, please stop breaking my heart.

And this is where Bu Chonghua is marked safe, even so close after he fucked up so badly, because that's the one thing he's been promised by people who actually see him, that they're going to take him out of that hell and into the light. And Bu Chonghua just casually says this, not understanding why Wu Yu is stunned by something that to him is just normal amount of caring. Because two people died before they could make good on that promise, despite how hard they both tried, and how hard Wu Yu knew they both tried and died in their attempts. And I'm so fucking unhinged by this.

Because when before Bu Chonghua has even realized it, he's put himself along side what only two people have ever tried in in Wu Yu's life. All of that night, when Wu Yu shows him his favorite 'movie' (this little fish, Wu Yu, baby, why are you like this XD), when he follows Bu Chonghua out, when he watches Bu Chonghua basically take on a whole street gang while venting, only stepping in when Bu Chonghua was actually in danger, when Bu Chonghua is sitting there thinking by himself that Wu Yu deserves so much better, and when he realizes that Wu Yu can occasionally stick his head out of his shell and look around if someone is patient enough to wait (Abso-fucking-lutely feral). All of that time, Wu Yu has marked him as safe and I'm so Normal about Them.

#Swallowing the Seas #Huai Shang #This is Mem's life #meta and things #*inarticulate noises* #THEM #Listen I'm normal amounts of unhinged and feral about these novels #which is as it should be completely off the charts

[stayspookymockingbirdlane]

hii its great to see more modern munsters fans especially one who's actually interested in the Rob Zombie movie (wooo!) but from scrolling through your page for a bit I get the idea that you don't necessarily like the Addams Family? Is it because of the pair of movies from the 90s causing the popularity surge or is it something about the show itself?

Also what did you think about the films itself and the characters? (Sorry i know you're hard-core munster but i'd love to hear your opinion)

Thank you for such a nice message! This is the first bit of fanmail I've gotten! Putting this under the cut for length and some AF criticism. (Don't complain if you're a fan and choose to read it anyway please.)

Firstly, I'd like to clarify I have more issues with AF fans themselves, at least as a whole (lots of individual ones are nice people and I don't mean them or mean to offend them when I generalize. My own best friend is one!). I've posted before about how they have a tendency to make Munsters posts about the AF when the AF already dominates the spooky film/Halloween fandom in comparison, which is really entitled and inconsiderate ("Who else loved the Munsters show?" "Well, I always liked the Addams better". One person I saw yesterday straight up took the Munsters trailer and went on a completely irrelevant rant about how the AF are a better couple for supposedly not being straight while the Munsters are?¿?). They also heavily crosstag AF posts as Munsters, which is just rude to people looking for Munster content.

They also can be weirdly... petty about the Munsters. I've had people tell me they've never seen them call the Munsters the "white trash version of the AF" or "AF ripoffs" or Herman and Lily are an healthy couple or whatever, and one person here implied that an example of Munster hate I showed them was basically me just exaggerating. But I see it on every platform any time I read a discussion about the two. Some people like both but for some reason the Addams attract people with an individuality complex and it makes them irate to see the Munsters get love. Which in turn makes it pretty hard to not resent the AF a little bit, if I'm to be honest.

Which leads me to my second point. I have grown to not care for the AF very much. I grew up knowing the show, enjoyed the Scooby Doo crossover, watched the 1990s films a lot, and didn't really love or hate them. I thought they were fine. But when I started using the internet more and got into the Munsters, I noticed a lot of people would negatively pit them against the AF. But more than that, the 90s films seemed to have kind of a bad influence on others my age- the Not Like Other Girls crowd, the "normal people scare me" types who judge others for being into mainstream things, or conventionally attractive. I thought the hostility was very unwarranted, and I saw it didn't align with how fans would say they loved the Addams for being so kind and accepting of others, because they never were to "normies" and often weren't to the Munsters, either. The 90s movies definitely made the AF colder and more snobbish compared to their warmer, friendlier counterparts of the 60s. I sort of get it because the 90s were just kinda into darker stuff and cynicism but still. It basically raised a generation to have elitism and an individuality complex. And why wouldn't it? Tish got standoffish and judgy about pastels and Wednesday is sarcastic and outright tries to kill people and the couple sneers at a harmless play of kids dressed as flowers. Who wouldn't relate to them as a kid who already resented your preppy peers? (Well, me, honestly, but I guess I'm the exception.) I guess I don't see how their goth aesthetic (imo what people's love for them comes down to in truth) makes them deserve a pedestal over the Munsters.

It should be said though that I don't really have a problem with their older versions. I don't think they're "genius" like their fans do, nor do I personally find them as relatable or funny as my spooky faves, but I respect that they're iconic and imo they're fine as long as their fans don't treat them as objectively superior to the Munsters. I actually love crossovers and I'm looking forward to seeing the cartoon movies sometime, which seem closer to the comics than Burton's series will be.

Hope that wasn't too rant-y and answered your question!

#anonymous #the other spooky family

[katyasrussianaccent]

i don't wanna be your friend, I wanna kiss your lips (corpse x reader)

Summary: Corpse suggests you flirt with each other to mess with the fans. What happens when you suddenly catch feelings?

Authors Note: This has been in my brain for so long so I decided to write it. May or may not write a part 2, im not sure. Lemme know what you think! My requests are open for fic/headcannons aswell 💖

It should have been simple.

Flirt, mess with the fans a little, sit back and relax.

It should have been simple.

You remember Corpse coming to you with the idea.

“Why would we do that?” you had asked, frowning at your phone screen. It had been another late night phone conversation with him; something that was starting to become a regular occurrence.

You pictured him shrug as he answered. “Fun?”

“Are you so bored you wanna make a fake relationship with me?”

“Not a relationship. Just do what we do now, but like, more.”

You had agreed before your brain had even registered it. On paper it was straightforward. You already flirted a little anyway, you were naturally a flirtatious person, and so was he. It made sense; or at least you had told yourself that it did. You knew the fans already shipped you together, you saw the things they tweeted as you occasionally lurked the ynhusband tag on Twitter. It was just innocent fun right? No-one was going to get hurt.

For a little while that was true. For a little while he called you baby and you called him darling and it meant nothing. Your face didn’t feel flush when he commented on your latest Instagram post and your heart didn’t do a little flip when he would call you just to see how you were. The phone conversations were your favourite; curled up in bed with the phone on your pillow, trading secrets into the night. He had suddenly become this constant in your life, this almost routine familiarity like brushing your teeth or going to get milk.

You weren’t sure what changed, when it had gone from being innocent fun to meaning something. It was like someone had flicked a switch, and Corpse was no longer a warm glow but this bright, blinding light that hurt your eyes to look at too long. It was almost cruel, the way you wanted something so unobtainable; the universe’s idea of a joke had no humour in it. The thing with Corpse was he was so unaware of the power he had. He was mysterious yes, but he was faceless among a sea of faces; of course people were drawn to him. And you were just another.

You started to pull away. You played different games with different people, you ignored his tweets. It was easier, if you never interacted with him, you could pretend there was nothing but shallow feelings instead of the crashing waves that threatened to pull you under. The fans had started to notice; your streams were filled with questions that you refused to answer.

“Where’s Corpse?” you read aloud as you scrolled down the chat. “Probably in his house? Go ask him.” Your tone was bitter even to you and you inwardly cringed. He hadn’t contacted you in 2 weeks, and while you were thankful, you were hurt by it. It was stupid and hypoctritical of you to be upset by something that was your own doing, and you weren’t sure what you had expected from him. He had other friends, other people to talk to, why would he have cared about you anyway?

Your phone lit up next to you, and you ignored the pang of disappointment at Rae’s picture flashing up.

Rae: Among Us???

You hesitated for a second. The likelihood of Corpse being there was high, but you knew deep down he wouldn’t say a thing to you, not on stream or in front of your friends. You could just ignore him, like you had been doing and it would be fine. You weren’t sure you believed yourself anymore.

“Guys, you want to watch me play Among Us? I’m not sure who’s playing, other than Rae.” You looked at the fast flowing stream of affirmatives and emojis. Guess you had to do it now. You opened up the game and joined the lobby.

“-yeah she looks really fucking cute,” you heard Corpse say as you logged in. You looked down at your outfit,; he definitely wasn’t talking about you in your oversized t-shirt and sweatpants. You had been on stream for a few hours now; your eyeliner was smudged a little and any lipstick had worn off with the constant drinking and licking your lips. No, he definitely wasn’t talking about you.

“Hey guys,” you said tentatively, swallowing down the feeling of jealousy at Corpse’s previous words.

A chorus of greetings hit you, and you smiled at their enthusiasm. You had played with Rae, Sykunno and Toast a few times before, but Felix, Jack and Ash were new to you, though you knew of them.

“Hey Y/N,” Corpse said. You had hoped after 2 weeks he wouldn’t still affect you so much, but the way your stomach turned said otherwise.

“Hey Corpse,” you replied, hoping your tone was casual.

“I haven’t seen you in a while, how are you?” he asked.

“Oh. Uh yeah, I’ve been a bit busy I guess, how are you?” You looked down as you answered, picking at your nail polish. You glanced at the chat that was filled with messages.

corpsesbaby: You can always tell when someones lying coz they look down” llamadelrey: why is this so awkward lmao arent they friends??” simpsforrae: This is like is a breakup i swear

“I’ve been okay, thanks” Corpse answered, drawing your eyes off the chat and back to the game. You nodded as you muted your mic to go back to your stream.

“I hope I don’t get imposter, I always suck at that so much.” You watched as the screen counted down and the word IMPOSTER flashed up alongside Corpse’s name. “Guess I jinxed it guys.”

Great. Not only were you imposter, you were imposter with Corpse, which meant you would have to actually speak to him. Maybe you wouldn’t have to.

You both followed Rae as she walked up towards Greenhouse, and you cornered her while she did her task, killing her quickly.

“Everyone seemed to go right, so we should vent back towards cafeteria to avoid suspicion,” Corpse said.

“Okay,” you answered. You vented together, and you muted your mic to laugh. “This is kinda cosy guys.” You said to your chat. You briefly imagined what it would be like in real life to be so close to him.

You moved to Admin where Toast was doing his task. Before you could say a word, Corpse had already killed him and you both vented outside Cafeteria. “Fuck, that was so close,” you muttered, chuckling a little.

“Don’t worry, I got your back,” he replied, making your heart sing a little.

“Oh my hero,” you said, making a point of swooning to your chat, your voice high and airy. “How will I ever repay you?”

He chuckled, “You shouldn’t ask questions like that.”

You flushed at the suggestive tone he had taken, and you hoped it wasn’t noticeable but judging by the comments in your chat, it clearly had been. This was another issue you had with Corpse; he always made these type of comments with you and it was really annoying. You knew there was no chance he was being serious, and sometimes you wished he would stop it purely because it got your hopes up.

delilah: shes BLUSHING dreamofme: uWu yn uWu

You opened your mouth to respond when Dead Body Reported flashed up, bringing your thoughts back to the game.

“Toast and Rae are dead,” Sykuuno said. “I found Rae in Greenhouse and Toast in admin.”

“I was in balcony, I went there from the cafeteria,” you said confidently. You hated being Imposter, especially being teamed with Corpse, who was so good at the game, you had a lot of pressure to do well.

“I was in MedBay, I didn’t see you YN,” Ash accused.

“You only see if they enter through the left door. She entered through the other door,” Corpse answered for you.

“And how do you know that?” Felix asked.

“I was in Cafeteria,” Corpse replied.

“You could’ve vented YN,” Jack said.

“No I couldn’t have, if Ash was in MedBay, she would have seen me. Unless she wasn’t in MedBay,” you suggested, smirking to your cam as you muted. “It’s not going too bad I don’t think? Always feel like I’ve been arrested when I’m Imposter.”

“Little sus of you Ash to say you were in MedBay when you weren’t,” Corpse said. You gaped a little at how easy it was for him to manipulate the situation, it was almost scary.

Ash argued as the other players began to agree and discuss among themselves. You smiled in success at the text on the screen.

Ash has been ejected.

You split up this time, and while you hadn’t really spoken during the game, you kind of missed Corpse’s astronaut next to yours, and you said that to your chat. “Haha, our colours did look cute together, I agree.”

Any previous trepidation you had had disappeared as soon as you had heard his voice; and you realised how much you had missed him. You would simply just need to deal with your feelings; they would go away eventually anyway. You just hoped it wasn’t too late for you to start again with him.

You walked to MedBay with Skyunno, making small talk as you did.

“I’m glad to see you playing with us, it’s been a little while,” he said and you felt bad that you would have to kill him. As you turned towards him, ready to kill as he did his task, Jack walked in. You mouthed oops at the cam.

“What’s going on here?” Jack asked, suspicion in his voice.

“I was just saying how nice it was to have YN here,” Sykunno replied. You stood and faked your task, watching the green bar fill as you did. It would be too risky to kill here.

“Ah yeah, Corpse has been asking after you constantly,” Jack said. You blinked at the response, it had caught you off guard.

“Oh?” you replied simply. You mentally shrugged it off. Of course he would have asked about you, you were friends, that was all.

DEAD BODY REPORTED

“Felix was dead in Reactor,” Corpse announced. “Oh Corpse, you’re taking a risk here” you said to your chat.

“I was in MedBay with Jack and Sykunno,” you replied, smiling as they agreed. “Where were you Ash?”

She sighed sadly. “I was in Labs, but I was doing a task, I swear!” You all agreed quickly that Ash would be the next voted out.

“2 to go,” you said triumphantly. “I thought I was gonna drag Corpse down, but it’s going okay!”

The round started again and you could feel yourself getting tired. Hopefully this wouldn’t be too much longer to finish the game.

You circled round Corpse a few times, hoping that he would understand your signal. Luckily he did, and you both vented to Decontamination where Skyunno and Jack were. The room had already started to emit steam, making it extremely easy for you both to vent unnoticed and kill them both.

You grinned at the Victory message that flashed up.

“Good game guys!” you said. The others congratulated you and Corpse on your win and you smiled at the sound of your names together. You had it bad.

“It was all YN,” Corpse said.

“Pfft you ssh being humble, it was all you,” you replied, taking your hair out of your ponytail and running your hand through it.

“Your hair looks nice,” Corpse commented and your eyes widened. Your heart started to beat a little quicker. How long had he been watching your stream?

“It’s bad to watch someone’s stream without telling them,” you replied, making a show of pouting for the camera.

He laughed a little. “What can I say, I’m a bad guy,” he said, singing the last words. You laughed at the sudden Billie Eilish.

“Guys, either play another game, or get a room,” Felix interrupted. You blushed a little and rolled your eyes, the chat going crazy from the corner of your eye.

“And that’s my cue to exit,” you said, yawning. “Bye guys, have a good night!” You wished everyone and your chat goodnight before closing the stream and leaning back in your chat. You couldn’t believe Corpse had been watching you. You hadn’t said anything too incriminating, but still.

You prepared for bed, settling back into the softness of your pillows as you grabbed your phone - a terrible habit you really needed to stop.

Corpse: Can I call you?

You gulped at the message that appeared on your screen, a gnawing feeling of nervous clung to your throat as you typed yes. His name came up almost instantaneously and your hand shook as you pressed to accept the call.

“Hey,” he greeted.

“Hey, what’s up?” you asked, trying to keep your voice even while your heart beat erratically in your chest.

“It was nice playing with you again,” he commented.

You sat up a little as you held the phone against your ear. “Did you call me to tell me that?”

“I haven’t spoken to you in a while.”

You sighed a little. “Yeah, I’ve been a bit busy, sorry - “

“You’re lying to me and I don’t know why,” he replied. You had never heard his voice like that before; so angry and hurt. You tapped your foot against your mattress as you thought what to say.

“I -”

“Did I do something?” he asked. You had been so selfish; blocking him out to avoid being hurt, but you hadn’t thought about his feelings. He was more popular than you were, you had assumed he would be fine, that he wouldn’t care if you were around or not.

“No, you didn’t do anything, I swear -”

“Then what? Because I thought we were friends, close friends and then suddenly you pretty much disappear. But you’re still streaming with other people. It’s pretty shitty of you.”

You chewed the inside of your cheek and looked up, the sting of tears threatening to fall. “It was really shitty of me, I’m sorry.”

“What happened?” he asked. “Please just tell me.”

“I don’t know what I’m meant to say,” you replied softly.

“What do you want to say?”

You blinked, the anticipation of unspoken words caught in your throat, making it hard to swallow. The taste of them was bitter on your tongue. “I...I have feelings for you.”

There. You had said it. There was no taking it back now, and you felt like your heart was about to shatter with every single second of silence that passed. You could hear him swallow on the other end of the phone. “Are you saying you’re in love with me?”

You bit your lip, taking in the meaning of the question he had asked. It wasn’t something you had thought of, you hadn’t conceptualised your feelings for him, not put them in a box labelled love or anything. “I don’t know. I feel something for you. And it kinda sucks being your friend and having those feelings. So I pulled away.”

“Why does it suck?”

You laughed bitterly. “Why wouldn’t it? Feeling something for someone that doesn’t feel the same is fucking shitty.”

“I asked you to flirt with me YN -”

“Yeah, for fun,” you interrupted.

“No, I said for fun, but really I just wanted you to,” he replied. “I feel something for you too. How could I not? Has anything I’ve ever said to you sounded like it was just for fun?” You smiled at his response, your heart no longer on the fit of breaking, but suddenly doing flips and soaring through your chest, radiating warmth through your body.

“Oh,” you said, your brain was overloaded with thoughts, and was apparently no longer capable of coherent sentences.

“Oh? That’s a great response, thanks,” he teased, but you could tell he was smiling as he spoke.

“I wasn’t expecting you to say that, I don’t really know what to say honestly,” you replied.

“Well, baby, how about you say yes to a date?” he asked.

“Yes.”

#my fic #corpse husband #corpse husband x reader #corpse fic #corpse fanfiction #corpse husband fic #corpse fanfic #corpse imagine #corpse x you #corpse x fem reader #corpse x yn #corpse x reader

[pashminalamb]

ℝ𝕌𝕀ℕ 𝕐𝕆𝕌ℝ 𝕃𝕀𝔽𝔼 (𝟙/𝟜)

♱ Pairings : Sensei! Fushigurō Tōji x fem! student! reader (Tōji is 47 and reader is 21)

♱ MDNI, Minors stay the fuck out.

♱ Content of the series : Non con, blackmail, sextortion, exploitation, playing with emotions, abuse of power, power imbalance, age gap, mentions of death (on Tsumiki's part), cheating (from both reader and Tōji), toxic relationships, sexual themes, and Tōji’s attitude.

♱ Synopsis : By sending revealing pictures to the wrong contact, you dug your grave before your math teacher. However, he has other plans to save your reputation.

♱ Warnings (for part 1) : Blowjobs, non con, throat fucking, mild degradation.

♱ Notes : It’s here !! I know it’s been a while since I last posted, currently my blog is still under construction. From now on, I can’t promise if I’m going to be posting on weekends or specific days of the week. I’ll get it to it when I get to it. Anyway, this is one of my first writings with Tōji and not using as many japanese words except basic ones. Tōji's second wife is Hina, a name I came up with to fill in the void. There would be more content with Haru and reader's relationship in the next part.

As always, this will be edited if I find any mistakes while re-reading it.

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Do not copy, repost, translate or edit my works.

Message sent

You clicked your phone shut, relaxing into the chair behind your desk, fingernails tapping against the surface of the grained wood in nervousness of the reply you would get back from your boyfriend. ‘Would he like it?’ You thought as you rubbed your sides. Hearing the ping of your phone, you saw the sender of the notification.

‘Fushigurō sensei’.

Scrunching your eyebrows in frustration, you picked up your phone. ‘Strange… why would he be texting me at this hour?’ You thought, unlocking your phone and entering the chat room.

‘Care to explain why I have these images?’ The text read. Your eyes widened in shock as you scrolled up through the thread of previous texts. The images weren’t sent to your boyfriend… but it was sent to your math teacher, being one of the recent contacts due to the set of questions you had for the upcoming paper.

Hands shaking from the realization of what you had done that could jeopardize your education, you typed out.

‘Please don’t tell anyone about this sensei’.

With the appearance of three dots and it quickly disappearing, you could feel your heart race. Pacing around your room with your phone in your hand, you began to about the possible things he could pull. The tale of the devilishly handsome yet sleazy teacher had been famous in the university, but it only remained a speculation rather than the truth. Fushigurō sensei was known to be a dirtbag who came from a rich family. He abandoned all of it for the sake of rebellion. Rumor has it that he was a part of a family of famous Japanese assassins. Albeit, he does have a family, it is a very broken one. His family was that of a son who is the same age as you but studies in a different university, he currently lived with his second wife and her daughter, who is in a coma from an accident on the bridge.

With the soft vibration of your phone on the palm of your hand, you took a deep breath before turning it over to look at your screen. ‘Come to my office after class tomorrow. Better to discuss your actions in person rather than do it over the phone”.

Fuck you were screwed.

With the tune of the bell, the day of attending university classes had come to an end. Tapping on the wooden desk of your classroom, you quickly shoved all your splayed out books into your bag and began to walk towards the dreaded office of your math teacher. With the vibration of your phone you looked down to see the sender of the message.

Message from Haru.

Haru : “Waiting outside. You coming?”

You : “Can’t. Gotta solve a set of doubts for the upcoming test.” You typed gingerly.

Haru : “Which one?”

You : “Mathematics.”

Haru : “Yeah… can’t help you there. What time should I come pick you up?”

You : “Go on without me. I’ll drop by later this week with takeout.”

Haru : “Takeout huh… lucky! (^-^) Might as well consider it a home date then…”

You : “Consider it as more of a make-up for missing your football meet today. Anyway, I gotta go. Good luck! Stay safe and don’t get hurt. And if you do, there’s a new set of bandages and spray at the top of the shelf in your bathroom by the first aid kit.”

Haru : “Ahh stop worrying about me and do that to your test instead. Love ya!”

With a smile playing on your lips at the thought of the goofy smile Haru had… you wrote back “Love you too. Get going”

Clicking your phone shut, you came to a halt in front of Tōji's door. Lifting your hand up, you knocked on his door with your clenched knuckles.

“Come in.” The raspy voice on the other side of the door said. Pushing down the handle, you entered the room only to be greeted with the sight of your sensei seated at his desk, legs propped up on his table in a disrespectful yet casual manner.

“You said you wanted to talk about what happened yesterday face to face rather than on text sensei?” You asked, closing the door behind you. Pulling his arms from behind his head, he folded them in front of his muscular chest. Analyzing you from head to toe, he gave a gesture with his hand. “Take a seat first (L/N).” With your lips sealed into a tight line, you gingerly pulled the seat away from the opposite side of the desk and took your place, clutching your bag tightly on your lap. Kicking his legs off the table, you watched as Tōji placed his folded arms against the grained wood of his desk. “You know… for a student as modest as you, I didn’t think you were the type to send such kind of pictures. Care to explain why…” he said as he dangled his phone in front of you, shoving the images in your face, “I have this?”. With a gulp, you felt your fingers go numb and your body shake. “It was meant for my significant other sir.” You answered in a meek voice. With a smirk, Tōji leaned in further, pushing his elbows and resting his chest on his desk. “Significant other you say? If that’s the case…” he trailed off, not dropping the smirk from his face “I should show these… lovely images to him instead.” Dropping your bag onto the floor, you slapped your palms on the wooden desk. “Please sensei! Don’t do it. Please.” You begged in desperation, tears pooling at the corner of your eyes. With a click of his tongue, Tōji got up from his desk and walked over to the cabinet placed in the corner of the room. Pouring himself a glass a whiskey and a glass of water for you, he walked back the desk and stood beside you. Placing the glass of water beside your hand, he said with a firm voice “Drink.” Picking up the glass of water with shaky hands, you sipped slowly while Tōji drank his whiskey lazily, eyes piercing into your shaking figure.

“Alright. I won’t show this to your…‘significant other’.” He said with mockery in his voice, displaying a menacing grin with the flashing of his teeth. “However…” he said, walking to the back of the room, securing the lock in place with a click, “It doesn’t mean I can give your grades that easily.”

You felt your grip become loose around the cup as your eyes widened in fear. Before you could let go of the cup, Tōji was leaning over your numb figure from behind your chair, holding your glass, his large palm encased around your’s while his other hand held his glass of whiskey. “You poor little thing. Look at how much you’re shaking…” he said with a dry chuckle. “Imagine this.” He continued. “Campus flyers talking about a ‘student getting her teacher involved in her love by sending obscene pictures’, ‘University scandal : A student seduces her math teacher’ or worse…” he whispered, leaning closer to your ear,“‘Student is expelled’.”

Your heart beat wildly with every word Tōji said. Not only would you be destroying your reputation, but you would also be a bad example, looked down by teachers who had admired you for your hard work and caliber. And most of all...

What would Haru think?

Feeling tears pooling at the corner of your eyes, your grip around the glass tightened. “Is there any way I can make up for this sensei?” You asked in a sniffled and weak voice. Humming in thought, Tōji answered. “The door is locked. The drapes are down. There’s only me and you in this room. You know the drill.” He rasped into your ear. Turning your head to meet his green orbs, you looked him with surprise. “Or… you can walk right out and deal with the consequences of actions you were responsible for, in the first place.” Tōji said with a sinister smile, moving away from you to take his place on the desk. Clutching the cloth that covered your thighs tightly, you looked down in shame. “What can I do for you sir?” You muttered.

“Come here.” Tōji ordered with the wave of his finger. Standing up from the opposite side of the desk, you moved towards him. “Kneel.” He said with a firm tone. Biting your lip, you began to shuffle your feet on the spot. “I said. Kneel.” Tōji demanded as he swiveled his chair to face you with a glare. With a sorrowed sigh, you dropped to your knees. “Look at me.” He said with a calm voice. Shifting your gaze from your lap towards him, he leaned back into his seat, amused at your sight. “Such a pity that one of the top students in my class and possibly the university was brought to such a shameful level. Well… this is what you get for dragging me into your mess sweetheart.” Tōji said with a dry laugh. “Unbuckle my belt.” He said, sliding a bit down his chair. With shaky hands, you moved forward to unclamp the cool metal buckle of his belt, dragging it along the loops of his pants, letting them fall to the floor. “Unzip them too.” He said with a grin, watching you become flustered as he had barely begun to have his fun. Dragging the zip slowly until it could no further, Tōji got up from his seat only to sit back down, letting his pants pool onto the floor, clinging to his ankles. From the looks of the muscles that adorned his figure, you were sure he exercised to maintain it. As much of an unscrupulous man Tōji was, you couldn’t deny that he was very attractive as well. “Ready to forget that ‘significant other’ of yours that quick?” Tōji asked in a derogatory tone. Biting back your response, you knew better to stay quiet than to aggravate the man who was holding you by the thread of your skin. “Give me your palm.” He said, extending his hand out. Reaching a timid hand towards his, he roughly pushed it towards his hard bulge. “Apply pressure on your fingertips.” Looking at you with lust. Using your fingertips, you began to squeeze the tender flesh underneath his boxers lightly pulling out a groan from his lips. “For someone who is pretty good with her fingers, you sure made a mistake of sending your pictures meant for your ‘significant other’ to me.” Tōji said with a menacing grin, the scar at the corner of his lips giving a his face a frightening image. Choosing to ignore his snide comments, you continued to roll the flesh of his balls with your fingers, eager to get it over with and keep your end of the deal. “Enough.” He said, grabbing your hand roughly and throwing it on the side. “You’re boring.” He said titling his head to the side. Hunching his figure, he brought his face close to yours. “Where did that fire you usually have go?” He asked in a soft yet terrifying voice. “Didn’t you always have something or another to say in my class? Always fucking arguing and I gotta give it to ya.” He said, cracking the base of his neck, moving it side to side “This version of you does look attractive. The once tall and proud student that everyone either hates or admires now broken and pathetic on her knees.” He finished with a sweet and uncomfortable tone. Swallowing the spit that had been building up the base of your tongue, you locked your gaze with him, glaring into those sadistic green orbs. “There’s a start” Tōji said with a wide smile before relaxing into his seat once more. “Pull my boxers down ‘n suck me off” he said lazily, staring at the ceiling above him. Grabbing the edge of his boxers, you pushed the material down, revealing the head of his big cock. It was flushed and the skin of his shaft was smooth all the way down to his heavy balls, making you get a good look of the veins on the underside of his dick.

He must have been planning this since last night.

“Get on with it.” He said impatiently. Shuffling closer, you rested your hands on his toned thighs. With a heavy hand behind your head, you were nudged into his defined pubic bone, your surprised voice muffled by his taut skin. “Start there.” Tōji said, eyes glinting in wonder of what you could possibly do next. Pulling back, you gazed at the sheer size of his manhood. It was bigger than average for a well built man like him, but you were sure you hadn’t come across something this big even while watching something as superficial and mundane as porn. “Ya scared?” Tōji taunted you, using his big palm to caress the swollen head of his fat cock, collecting the pool of precum within the ring of his index and thumb. Shaking your head, you watched as Tōji stroked his cock a few times before telling you “Open your mouth.”

Parting your lips, he slipped both his fingers in. “Make sure to fucking clean it all. Hate fucking messes.” He said with a smirk, pushing the tip of his thumb further into your mouth. Pressing your tongue flat down, he laughed at your gagged reaction before you took his hand firmly and placed it on the side of your mouth, grazing yourself teeth and letting your tongue clean the remnants of his essence.

“Still got that fight in ya huh… makes it all the more fun for me.” Tōji chuckled. Pulling his hand back, he spread his legs apart on his seat. With a tilt of his head towards his cock that needed attention, you knew what you had to do. Giving the head of his length a kitten lick, Tōji grew impatient and pushed your head down until it was nearly halfway through. Gagging around the sudden intrusion into your throat, you glared at him. “What? Just gettin to the good part real quick .” He chuckled darkly. Taking your time, you tried to adjust the size of his cock with that of your throat until you were comfortable to bob your head back forth, using your hand to cover where you couldn’t reach.

'At least the bastard was patient'

“Now that you got used to it. Time ta kick thing uppa notch ain’t it?“ Tōji raised with a flash of his teeth. Before you could pull back and ask him what that meant, he abruptly pulled your head back by grabbing the locks of your hair, letting strings of saliva and precum connected between the head of his cock and your lips fall. Reaching down for throat, he made you look at him and with a menacing expression, thrust most of his length back into your throat. Your eyes watered from the gagging sensation at the back of your throat, but it didn’t stop Tōji from rutting into your mouth.

“Take it all. You’re gonna be a good student right? Do what your sensei tells you to.” He groaned a he felt your tongue on the veins of his shaft. Feeling himself getting close, he pulled his cock out of your abused mouth. Pumping his cock with his fist, he came all over your face, painting your cheeks and lips white with his cum.

“Woulda fucked you too sweetheart but home calls.” Tōji said with a smile, patting the side of your cheek. Grabbing a couple of wipes from his desk, he cleaned himself up before tossing the box over to you. Taking the box into your hands, you looked at him with a sour expression. “What? I might be a bastard but even I’m not that heartless.” He chuckled. Wiping your face, you quickly got up from your knees that had a dull ache from being positioned on the floor too long and picked up your bag, making a beeline for the women’s room.

Looking into the mirror, you felt pathetic. Not only were you a cheater on your loving boyfriend, but you had also fallen into the deep abyss of no return from having a forbidden session with your teacher and couldn’t stop admiring his body too. Placing a shaky hand over your throat in the mirror you could still feel the sting of the stretch from Tōji’s cock. You could feel the throbbing of your cunt that ached to be filled. Clenching your teeth you cursed yourself for even daring to think about doing the prohibited when you were taken.

'Bastard didn’t even bother getting me off… but maybe this would be the last time I went to his office.'

Walking out of the women’s room after making sure your smudged makeup was fixed, you were met with two distant figures in the hallway. Coming closer you saw Tōji smiling fondly and a woman who was much softer than him. Moving past them, you quickly tried to make your way through the doors when you felt something fall behind you. Looking down, you realized you forgot to zip your bag properly in a haste, causing your textbook to fall. Reaching for the book, your hand was met by dainty ones. Looking up, you watched at the woman smiled at you, returning your book.

“Here.” He said in a kind voice, ushering her book towards you. “Thank you.” You said, with a slight bow, taking the book from her hands and slipping it into your bag. You felt her stare as you quickly shoved the textbook into your bag, making you feel uncomfortable. Looking at her, you smiled awkwardly, pulling up the zip of your bag. “You remind me so much of my daughter…” the lady said with a smile. Turning to Tōji she said with a laugh, “Doesn’t she look like our Tsumiki?”. Eyes shifting back and forth between his wife and you, Tōji said with an awkward chuckle “This is (L/N) (F/N) from my advanced math class. She just came by to discuss… a set of problems she had.”

Sly fox.

“I’m Fushigurō Hina. Married to this stupid man.” Hina said jabbing a finger into Tōji’s side, laughing at her own joke while the taller man gave a wry smile.

Guilt stricken, you felt a pang in your heart at the woman’s innocence, no knowledge of what happened behind the closed doors of her husband’s office. “With your permission, I’ll take my leave.” You said curtly, giving a low bow before turning on your heel. “But it is already late (Y/N) Chan… would you like for us to drop you?” Hina said with a polite smile. “That won’t be necessary Fushigurō san. I can walk to my place.” You said. “I insist. Let me drive you home.” She responded with a playful pat to your shoulder. “If it’s not too much trouble…” you said, walking with her to the parking lot with Tōji in tail.

Standing in front of the Fushigurō’s residence you began to wonder how did you land yourself in such a sticky situation.

“Thank you for the ride Fushigurō san” you said, opening the door of the car. “Ah! (Y/N) Chan. Would you like to have dinner with us tomorrow night?” Hina asked, turning back from the driving wheel to face you in the back seat. Not knowing what to say, you stalled with your words, “Um… wouldn’t it be rude of me…?”.

“Not at all. Megumi is in another university and we barely get to see him. As for Tsumiki…” she said with her eyes saddening. “It’s been a while since we’ve had a child around the house. And both of them are close to your age. Would you take pity on a mother’s yearning heart and join us for dinner? I would like to know more about you.” Hina said, hands gripping tightly on the wheel. Eyes looking into the side mirror of the car, you watched as Tōji clenched his teeth.

“What time should I come?”

Feet tapping against the stone path laid out in front of the door, you carefully held the bouquet of flowers and a box of mochi. With the ring of the doorbell, you were greeted with a smile from Hina. “Please come in.” She said with a wave of her hand. “Thank you for having me over.” You said, taking a step into the house. “Tōji kun !! (Y/N) Chan is here!!” Hina shouted from the base of the stairs. With heavy footsteps, you watched the tall man join the both of you at the bottom of the stairs. He wore a clad black shirt that hugged his form all too well, making his pectorals stand out along with those mouthwatering abs which you never got to see despite him having you on your knees, along with a set of tanned pants that hung loosely around his hips. “I know you hate your math sensei, but glare holes into me during class not before dinner (Y/N).” Tōji said with a charming smirk.

Cheeky bastard.

“These are for you Fushigurō san.” You said, handing her the bouquet and box of mochi. “Thank you (Y/N) Chan. These are lovely. I’ll go put them in a vase of water.” She said, taking the items from your hand and moving to the kitchen. “Why don’t you and Tōji kun sit in the living room and chat while I fix up something before dinner?” She asked with a smile. Forcefully biting your tongue in horror, you watched as Tōji’s lips curled into that of a sadistic smile. With a nod, you followed him into the living room. Walls decorated with frames surrounded empty chairs within the living room. Sitting on the opposite side of the room, Tōji waved a hand for you to take a seat. Plopping yourself on the sofa, you watched as the tall man before you placed a hand under his chin, lips curled to the side, exposing his teeth.

“Never would’ve expected such a church mouse of a student to infiltrate my phone let alone my humble home.” He said with a cackle.

Two could play at this game here. He wouldn't dare pull a move in front of his own wife now, would he?

“The 'church mouse' of a student was invited by your spouse, sir.” You retorted, form relaxing into the chair, aware of the fact that you were pushing your luck.

“Putting your mouth where your money is when I could make life hell for you?” Tōji questioned, joining his hand and throwing his leg to the side.

“I paid you back in kind within the privacy of your office, sir.” You said with your eyebrows raised. “Dinner is served!” Hina yelled, wiping her hands with a towel as she walked into the living room. Getting form the chair, Tōji bumped shoulders with you as you both followed Hina into the dining room. “Don’t forget you have one year left (Y/N). You’re nothing more than a mere puppet now. Don't you dare forget that.”

'Fushigurō Hina' the contact said as you stared it, seated on your mattress.

The profile was of her with the branch of a cherry blossom, standing next to Tsumiki.

“You should take my number. Who knows what kind of nutrition you’ve been taking and nothing is more better than some good home cooked food! Besides, if there’s anything you need, you can let me know.” She said with a kind smile, stretching her cellphone out. Taking her cell hesitantly, you wrote your number while Tōji was within the privacy of his office, using the time after dinner to talk to his son over Skype.

Taking the phone out of her hands, you typed your number before handing out your phone to do the same. While Hina typed her number in, you began to look around the room, analyzing pictures every frame held. Your gaze was fixated on one that held Hina and Tsumiki standing together under the cherry blossom tree.

“We took that picture about two years ago” Hina said, handing you back your phone. “It’s also the day we lost Tsumiki. She was such a sweet child. Megumi and I didn’t get along well to begin with… regardless, she always looked out for him. I remember his jacket being stained from sweet milk that Tsumiki threw at him one time. She grumbled about something like ‘putting him in his place.’” Hina chuckled, lifting her hand to her lips.

“How did she…?” You curbed your words, hoping Hina would get the message.

“She went across the Yasohachi bridge on a dare with her friends. The bridge had been ill fated from the start as there had been many disappearances… but why my Tsumiki?” Hina said with tears brimming at the corner of her eyes. “I know I haven’t been the best example of a parent… but why did my little girl have to pay in my stead?” She asked, using the sleeves of her long dress to wipe away the stray tears of her makeup that smudged her face.

Not being able to comfort her with the right words, you rubbed her back until her sniffles began to die down. “There were so many things I wanted to do with Tsumiki… I wanted to go places with her, take her to see the world… but it barely started when she-” Hina said between sobs, holding your hand.

Using the strength of your hand, you squeezed her hand back with enough force that assured her that her truth and emptiness was accepted. You rubbed smooth and gentle circles into the skin of her hand. With a light chuckle she placed her free hand on top of yours. “I’m sure I seem pitiful to you, don’t I.” She said with a watery smile.

“No Fushigurō san. If anything, you deserve more better than what you’re going through.” You said with a tight lipped smile.

Tilting her head at your words, she chuckled withdrawing her hand to tap it lovingly on the side of your cheek. “We should go out next week! I hear the shopping complex near the station is a popular place for university students like you.” Hina said. Hearing heavy footsteps approach the both of you, you turned to see the tall man stand behind his spouse, a hand on her shoulder. “Hope you two didn’t have too much fun while I away on call.” He said with a wry smile.

“Before I overstay my welcome, I’ll take my leave. Dinner was lovely and I should be on my way now.” You said with a small bow, hand reaching forward for the door knob.

“I’ll drop her.” Tōji said, grabbing his coat. Tōji left no space to argue as he opened the door before you, ushering you out whilst he grabbed his keys from the hook and stepped outside behind you.

“Don’t forget about next week!” Hina shouted from the door as she waved you goodbye. With thin lips, you returned the gesture before getting into the car, being driven into the darkness of the street ahead of you with Tōji driving next to you. With ten minutes of silences between the both of you, he pulled the car to a stop and reached over to your side of the vehicle. Stiffening up at his closing in on your personal space, you flinched.

“Relax. We’re here.” He said, pointing to the entrance of your apartment.

‘Sleazy bastard at least knows his manners.’

“Thank you for the ride.” You said meekly, opening the door of the car to step onto the pavement, only for it to be slammed shut by Tōji.

“I don’t think you quite get it (Y/N). The reason I didn’t do anything to you is cause the odds are in my favor. If you think I’m gonna get you free of service, you’re wrong. I’m gonna make you work for your service to me.” He said with a laugh.

“You’re sick.” You said, gritting your teeth. “Never denied it sweetheart. Now get your ass back home before I decide to change my mind.” Tōji responded arrogantly, kissing the tip of your nose. Wiping away his kiss in defiance, you stepped out of the car, preventing yourself from slamming the door of it, opting to act humble and close it gently.

‘Kissing up his ass is the only way to go since aggravating him would do no good.’

Not daring to look back, you could hear the grind of rubber wheels against the road, heading into the dark path with an occasional light from street lamps that littered the street.

With a heavy breath, you gave yourself a mental pat for getting through the evening of your teacher's home before walking up the steps to your apartment.

Upon reaching the final step of the staircase, you turned to your door, only to find a figure standing in front of it, rocking themselves back and forth on their heels. Approaching near, with the keys of your apartment dangling from your clenched fist, your eyes widened in recognition of the figure.

"Haru?" you said aloud in surprise.

"Yo." came a light hearted reply with a small wave of his hand.

♱ Reblogs and likes are appreciated !! Askbox is open for rants and discussions !! Thank you for reading!!

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[ageofnations]

Chamomile // drw // Pt. VIII

Summary: Danny often feels overshadowed by his best friends and bandmates. You, however, can’t seem to get your mind off of him.

Paring: Danny × fem!reader

Word Count: ~3.7k

Warnings: fluff, little bit of jealous!Danny just because i felt like it...tears, talk of anxiety, slight angst but mostly fluff tho lmaoooo

A/N: i cannot begin to explain to yall how much i appreciate you all. your support on this fic has meant the world to me, and i appreciate you for sticking with me on this journey. i can't wait to show you guys what i have planned for other fics. i cried a lot while writing this. 'tis a bittersweet feeling, but an exciting beginning to new things. thank you again, and enjoy the final part of Chamomile

Series Masterpost

Part VIII

Things didn’t slow down after that night at the bar. Fans were celebrating the new album release and the tour that the boys had finally announced after weeks of hinting at through various posts. Management had been hounded by press and interviewers wanting to schedule interviews with any of the boys that they could, but especially Danny. 

He seemed to relax a bit and get used to the attention after his win was announced. What used to be anxiety and skittishness from people talking about his status turned into pride with slight bashfulness. He was staying quite humble with the new title as best drummer of the year, almost frustratingly so. You would teasingly bring it up in your conversations, referring to him as “royalty” or some equivalent, and he would brush it off with a laugh each time.

His humility was appreciated, though. He didn’t let it affect him to the point where he was cocky, but it did help his confidence while playing. He didn’t let it change how he acted toward his bandmates, and he definitely didn’t let it change how he acted with you. You were still his number one priority.

He spent the majority of his time with you. If you weren’t sleeping in his bed for the night, he was sleeping in yours. He had about a month before the first tour date, and he made sure to be around you as much as possible.

Today, you were laying on the couch in the band’s home. You had your legs stretched across Danny’s lap on the cushion beside you. He was scrolling through his phone with one hand and rubbing the soft skin on your ankle with the other. Per his request, you were helping him find more outfits to wear for each of the tour dates they had planned, so you also were scrolling through various sketches and shops that you saw online. Occasionally, you would turn your phone to him to ask what he thought, to which he would either nod his head with a smirk or shrug his shoulders noncommittally. 

Sam had disappeared into his room to play with a few riffs he had been working on. Jake was spending the day with his girlfriend, also trying to get as many dates in as he could before the tour started. You thought you’d get to do the same, hoping to spend alone time with Danny, even if it was to do something related to the band, but instead, Josh had joined you two in the living room, draping himself over the lounge closest to you. He also was looking at sketches for himself, and occasionally the other members, and showing them to you for your opinion. You wished you had known exactly when you became the stylist for the entire band and when you’d start getting paid for your help.

“What about this one, mama? For Daniel?” Josh said. The nickname took you by surprise, although it was not foreign for Josh to use for any one, especially you. 

“Uh-” You started as you turned your head to look at the image he had zoomed in on. Before you could even focus on the vibrant sketch, Danny spoke up.

“I don’t think I like the color,” he said pointedly. He seemed to have a sort of edge to his voice, much different than just seconds prior. It was the most he had contributed to the discussion about what he did and didn’t like out of the options you both had provided him with. What further perplexed you, however, is that Josh’s sketch was the exact same color as one of the few you had shown Danny that he had said he liked. 

Josh noticed the quick change in demeanor, the hints of malicious passive-aggressiveness as Danny looked away to continue aimlessly scrolling. He noticed the way he had instinctively tightened his grip on your ankles that were crossed under his hand. You, however, passed it off as the masculine urge of territorialism, something that arose from Josh’s use of the nickname and that would pass soon after it even started.

The room was filled with uncomfortable silence for the first time all day, and you wished you could find the right words to cut through the thick tension in the atmosphere. It seemed that Josh had mustered up enough courage to take on the task himself.

“You know what would be cool?” He said, almost hesitantly. You and Danny both turned your heads to him as you waited for him to continue. “You guys should wear matching outfits to the shows. Same color, same style, something. Even if the fans don’t see you, it makes for a cute picture!” 

He didn’t mean to make matters worse, but the suggestion definitely didn’t help the tension. 

Neither you nor Danny said anything, you just simply looked away from him and back to your phones, not fully taking in whatever was on the screens in front of you. You noticed the expression on Josh’s face drop into one of confusion and concern.

“What? What is it?”

You almost couldn’t bring yourself to speak, not wanting to rub salt in the wounds. You opened your mouth to answer, but he seemed to come to the conclusion by the time you could find the right words.

“You’re…not coming with us?” 

Your heart could have shattered into millions of pieces at the disappointment you heard in his words. You felt Danny resume rubbing circles on your ankle out of reassurance and desire to help ground you.

This was an incredibly touchy subject for you. Sure you wanted to travel the world with your best friends and boyfriend. You could only imagine how fun it would be to go on tour with them. They’d be sure to include you in each of their adventures and let you see as many behind-the-scenes experiences as you could. Being able to watch Danny perform his heart out every week, with the knowledge that he was leaving the venue with his arms wrapped around you…that is what you wanted, more than anything.

But the idea of not having the comfort of your own home, or homes, to go back to any time you wanted scared you. You had grown accustomed to routine for the most part. Being in a different city, a different state, every week…it was completely different than what you were used to. It was terrifying.

Not to mention the change of status you’d have to face every time you went somewhere. You were no longer just a friend of the guys’, but now you were a girlfriend. You knew the fans would want to interact with you too now, and that seemed overwhelming to you. Having strangers come up to you and ask to take a picture almost every time you go out. Seeing your face on all of the hashtags and trending topics. Being the topic of discussion in comment sections. You had already started to get a taste of all of that after their last performance, but this would be an everyday thing. You just didn’t know if you were ready for it. 

You and Danny had talked about it countless times, and he never once pressured you to come with them. But you could still hear the sadness in his answers each time. He wanted you with him. He promised he wouldn’t leave your side unless he absolutely had to, and even then, he would try to find a loophole to where you could stay near him. He knew it would be a change of pace for you, but he hoped he could be the source of comfort and familiarity for you. He made sure to listen to each of your concerns about the topic, but you couldn’t help but feel guilty for that reason alone. He was always so receptive to your worries, but it did very little to shift your decision. You wished you could change your own mind, for him. 

Josh had put the pieces together before you could answer again. He picked up on the way your shoulders tensed and the way Danny had frozen in place when he asked. He could read every bit of your body language. He tried to bite back his own sadness, not wanting to make it any harder on you both.

“Well, that sucks…but we will try to visit you as much as possible!” The forced nature of his optimism was evident, but you still appreciated it nonetheless. “Any off day we have, it goes to you. We’ll fly back in between dates if we have the time. I know Daniel couldn’t stay away from you for too long.” Josh shot a playful wink to Danny, who still seemed a little out of it from the topic being brought up. 

You doubted that it was a viable option for the group, but you could at least hope that you would still see them as much as he claimed.

– 

A week before the guys were set to fly out to start the tour, things started setting in. You were about to be mostly alone for the majority of the year. You knew Danny would call and text as much as possible, and hopefully come back for the holidays at least, but being away from him just meant you'd have more boring nights than you wished for. With the amount of time that you were about to have to yourself, you knew you needed to find something else to occupy yourself with. You figured getting a physical job to go to on a normal basis would help. You didn’t need the money whatsoever, especially since you still planned to sell your crafts in your online shop, but you knew you would need the distraction.

Danny had tried to tell you that he could get you a job at the place his sister works, but you declined, stating that you wanted to find one on your own. You wanted the accomplishment of getting a job you found yourself, but you also figured essentially working with a replica of your boyfriend would do little to distract you from the fact that he was no longer there. 

Instead of pushing the idea, he said he’d help in any way possible, opting to drive you to whatever business you wanted in order to get and complete applications. He wanted to make a day out of it, so you both decided to go to lunch and go shopping after you were finished with the job searching process. 

The car ride was fun in itself, and having Danny alongside you made it seem less nerve-wracking to go into each establishment and ask if they were hiring. Every time you’d come back to the car, he’d ask how it went and listen intently to assess if he needed to do any damage control. Afterward, he’d put on your favorite songs as he cruised to the next destination. 

After stopping at countless businesses, you decided it was time to call it quits for the day. Danny took you to a small diner for lunch where he ordered blueberry pancakes for the both of you because “Who said you can’t have pancakes at noon?” You two ate over small conversations about big plans for the tour before finally heading out to do some shopping.

He hadn’t been looking at much for himself the whole time you were walking through the strip mall. Honestly, neither of you were looking much. You just reveled in the time out in public with each other, hand-in-hand. The most he had gotten was a pair of sunglasses and a couple of sets of socks that he found. He had bought you a necklace and earring set that you had insisted was way too expensive, so you especially weren’t anticipating looking for anything else to buy. 

That is until a beautiful white sundress caught your attention in a shop’s window. Danny picked up on your infatuation with the dress before you could even say anything. He could see it in the way your eyes widened, how your breathing hitched slightly, how you automatically started to move towards the window and drag him behind you. You didn’t bring yourself to actually enter the shop, still set on not spending any more money for the day, but you stood in front of the display in the window, ogling the bright fabric of the garment.

“You’re drooling, Bip,” Danny teased. He laughed as you instinctively raised your hand to check if his words rang true, only to find that he was exaggerating. “You should try it on, though.”

You shook your head. “No way. If I actually like it, you’re not going to let me pay for it myself.”

“And what’s wrong with that?”

You shot him a scolding glare, vacant of any malice. “You’ve spent enough money on me for the day.”

“Oh come on,” he whined and motioned for the door. “Just try it on. It’s gorgeous, and I want to see it on you.”

Embarrassingly enough, it didn’t take much more sweet-talking from him to convince you to actually go into the store, and once you were both inside, it was too late to back out. He had asked the attendant if they had your size in the dress, which she happily helped you find and open a dressing room for you. 

Once you had it on, you were slightly disappointed that you had already promised yourself that you wouldn’t buy it. The dress’s flowy fabric came just past your knees. The puffy sleeves hung slightly below your shoulders and were extremely comfortable. The outfit complemented you in all of the best ways. The pure white stood out and could gain the attention of anyone while also enhancing your complexion and highlighting your natural skin tones. Hints of cleavage were visible and your figure was accentuated while still remaining mostly modest. 

As you stood in front of the mirror in the dressing room, you twisted from side to side so you could admire the way the skirt fanned out around you. You couldn’t help doing a few twirls to fully get the experience. You felt beautiful, and you knew you looked good. 

“You gonna keep doing 360s or am I going to get to see how the dress looks on you?” you heard Danny call from the other side of the door. You giggled before you stalled your spinning, wobbling a little from dizziness.

You knew he’d like it as much as you did, if not more, but you still felt a little nervous to show him. You paused and took a deep breath before opening the door to reveal yourself to him. 

Just as yours had done when you first saw the dress on display, Danny’s eyes widened as he scanned over your body.

“Oh my god…”

You bit back a giggle at his response. You did another small twist and studied his expression with bated breath. “Well? What do you think?”

He huffed in awe. “What do I think? It looks absolutely amazing on you.” He ghosted his fingertips down your arms, still drinking in every bit of your appearance. He grabbed one of your hands and brought it over your head, twirling you around as if you were dancing together. He could have sworn that he fell even harder for you as he watched your cheeks grow a shade of peach with your giggles. “You look gorgeous, Bip.”

“Thank you, Danny,” you answered and gave him a sweet peck on the cheek. “But we’re still not getting it.”

“Whatever you say, love.” 

You grinned at him, glad that he hadn’t pushed to spend more money on you, but also a little sad that you would have to take the dress off. 

“Let me change before I run out of here with this thing on,” you joked, turning back to the dressing room you had originally occupied.

Danny stopped you and clutched onto your hand that he still clasped, tugging you back to face him. “Hey-”

You turned back to him, blushing at the affectionate smile he had still on his face as he looked down at you. 

“-I’m gonna marry you someday,” he finished.

You almost felt speechless, but you were incredibly endeared by the statement and the moment with him. The way he looked at you like he wouldn’t get to ever again. The way his hand was holding yours so tenderly. You felt alone in the universe with him, and it took a lot of effort to remind yourself that you were in a public place.

“Why not now?” The hesitation in your response made the question come out as a near whisper. You were only halfway joking, trying to match his boldness. “I’m already in a white dress, we could do it now.”

He kissed your forehead and let go of your hand so you could return to the dressing room. “Someday.”

– 

It came much too quickly. The day he would be leaving to be on the road for months on end. The day you both dreaded, but the day that you looked forward to for them. You were excited for them to continue their dream, but you wished you could have just a little longer with them. It was bittersweet.

You had driven Danny to the airport yourself, trying to soak up the last few moments you would have by his side. You didn’t say much, but he had occasionally broken the road noise by saying “I love you” as a reminder to you both. He wasn’t looking forward to this any more than you were, even if he was leaving to play for thousands of his beloved fans. 

Now you stood at the airport, saying your last few goodbyes. You started with the other boys by giving all of the hugs and well wishes you possibly could. You tried to absorb each of their scents and embraces, hopeful to embody at least a portion of them all while they were away. They meandered away from you and Danny to give you some space. They talked amongst themselves as they waited for the drummer.

You stood impossibly close to him, so close that you could feel his warm and gentle breath on your face. You hadn’t let the tears fall yet, but god were they close to doing just that.

“Are you sure you don’t want to come with us?” He sounded slightly hopeful, even though he knew the answer he hoped for was unlikely. 

You chuckled at his question. “It’s a little too late now, don’t you think?”

“We can catch a different flight. Or you could come with us now and I can just buy you a whole new wardrobe or something.” He clutched your hands tighter, praying that his offers and pleads would possibly convince you to join them.

Your pout and silence were enough of an answer to him. He knew how much you wanted to come with, and he could see the apologetic look in your eyes. He didn’t want to ruin your last few moments with his disappointment. 

“Well…before I leave,” he started. He released his grip on your hands and started to dig through his carry-on bag. He pulled out a small blue gift bag, a little wrinkled and bent from being in such a compact space, and a small wrapped gift box. “I got you a few things.”

You rolled your eyes at the gesture, but you took the gifts from him with a loving smile. “You know you didn’t need to do this, right?”

“Oh just open them,” he quipped with a smile that matched yours.

You handed him the box to hold while you rummaged past the tissue paper in the bag. As soon as your hand dove into it, you knew exactly what it was. You pulled out the white sundress that you had tried on a week prior, and the tears immediately started to fall. You let out a choked sob, one that made the others briefly turn to face you to make sure you were okay. 

Danny smiled and wiped the fast-flowing tears from your cheeks as much as he could. “I had already bought it before you tried it on. I ordered it and had it shipped to the house as soon as you went into that dressing room.” 

The gesture was incredibly sweet, so incredibly Danny, and you were yet again reminded how blessed you were to have him. You repeated many thank yous past the overwhelming happiness that you were feeling, and he held the box back out to you. You couldn’t imagine what other gift could top this one, and you eagerly put the dress back in its bag to grab the box from him.

The paper encasing the box was thin, and you assumed it was just the same tissue paper used in the gift bag. There was a sticker of a white flower that held the tissue together. You wondered if Danny had wrapped it himself or if he had gotten help from someone else.

As you started tearing through the paper, you started to see the writing on the box, and you successfully pieced the letters and fragments together long before you had the wrapping off of it. The hot tears were back soon enough, and you noticed your lover had started crying, too.

You focused on the green print on the box and traced your finger across it.

Chamomile tea bags: 20 count

You looked up at Danny with a watery smile. 

“For the times I’m not there to make it myself,” he said.

The hug was one of the last things you remembered. He held you tightly for as long as he possibly could. You both were shaking with the tears that flowed onto each other’s shoulders. He was repeatedly telling you how much he loved you and how much he was going to miss you. You had never felt so safe, so loved, and you regretted that you would have to pull away and go your separate ways. 

And as you watched him walk away, you regretted not throwing out all of your inhibitions and running after him.

You didn’t know that the regretful feeling would only get worse the longer you stayed away from him.

_

Read Marigold to pick up from here ;)

taglist: @gretavanflowerpower @joshkiszkas @teenagesublimefan @streamsofstardust @fireandsaltydogs @gretavanflipflop @kdarling1 @greta-van-chaos @stardustingold @the-chaotic-cow @tripthelight-fanfic @gretavancreep @gretavanfleas @weightofdreamz @myownparadise96 @loofypoofy @doodle417 @gmolszewski @m1rkw00dpr1ncess @hearts-hunger @s0livagant @stardustdanny

#chamomile #danny x bip #gvf #greta van fleet #gretavanfleet #danny wagner #jake gvf #josh gvf #danny gvf #jake kiszka #josh kiszka #peaceful army #the peaceful army #daniel wagner #daniel gvf #danny wagner fluff #daniel wagner fanfic #danny x reader #gret van fleet fluff #greta van fanfic #greta van fleet fan fiction #greta van fleet fic #danny wagner fanfic #danny wagner gvf #sam kiszka #sammy kiszka #sam gvf #sammy gvf #danny wagner x reader

[1kook]

ZOOM CALL

⇢ meeting one

jeon jungkook x (f) reader

⇢ series masterlist

summary: In a sea of black screens and faceless names, there’s one smiley boy that beams back at you through the dimly lit screen of your laptop, a tiny Jeon Jungkook (he/him) tacked to the corner of his window. genre: fluff, slice of life, smut (tags tba) warnings: jk is a ditzy lil nerdy sweetheart, college crushes, social distancing -_-, use of the zoom app, 1kook Builds a Healthy Relationship (Version 2.0) ratings: M (18+) wc: 3.2k

notes: well. here we are. as always i have to thank common sense (coincidentally named rumu @kigurumu​ ) for reading this over and pointing out little details <3 after much deliberation, i have decided to post our beloved zoom jk (see origin story here) in the form of short ‘drabbles’ depicting diff zoom calls with this being The Beginning™️ so please... bare with me </3 ty to all the nice ppl who have been excited for this, luv u very much 🥺

There are times in human history where words captivate their audience; times when single words or phrases wrap around the listener, melt into their bones and radiate warmth from within. But rarely does one word manage such an impact, rarely is it as revered and as cherished as the word cancelled is to most college students. 

Class is cancelled, group meetings are cancelled, the stupidly big semester final project was cancelled. You could cancel nearly anything, and in most cases, it would be beautiful. Cancelled meant more time to sleep in the morning, an afternoon free of pesky project partners, a pleasant reprieve from having to socialize with anyone. It was a glorious word with heavenly connotations that brought tears of joy to your eyes whenever you saw it appear in an email preview.

Except this one.

Spring Semester 2021: On-Campus Classes CANCELLED — Social Distance Measures as per State Regula…

Your last semester as a student in university… online? You couldn’t believe it. All these years of studying rigorously, cramming for exams, attaining a near perfect GPA— just to sit in your bedroom and stare at your computer screen for the last 15 weeks of classes? Had your friends not been there to mope with you, you’re certain a part of you would have gone on a rampage and cursed every bacteria known to mankind for doing this to you.

It was your last year, you whined in private (never in public; your friends had always considered you the mature one, the studious friend who kept everyone in order), yet here you were, setting up your desk for your last ever first day of classes with quite possibly the biggest pout on your face.

Zoom, your school had raved in an email a few weeks into the break, the desktop application that will keep us united in these trying times! As if, you huffed, giving the stupid application permission to connect to your computer’s camera and audio systems. What even was proper Zoom etiquette? Did you have to enter the meeting and greet every student cheerfully? You had always said hi to your classmates before, but something about saying it over a computer mic felt awkward.

The feeling doubled when you finally entered the meeting, only to be met with a sea of black screens save for your professor, who seemed to be clicking around his computer in a rather confused fashion. This was going to suck, you thought bitterly.

You had entered the room ten minutes earlier because, well, you always showed up to class a few minutes earlier than the scheduled meeting time. But was there any point to doing that here? Usually, the time before class was spent making small talk with said classmates, discussing the readings or the assignments, talking mindlessly about whatever came to mind. But something in your gut said it would be weird to do that now.

So you sit in silence for the next ten minutes, nervously tapping your pen against your desk as you wait for the professor to launch into whatever introductory monologue he had planned. You toy with your phone, scrolling through your twitter feed only to see a brigade of tweets from students all over the nation suffering the same fate as you. It was a trending topic.

Two minutes before the class starts, you hear the tell-tale ping of someone entering the meeting. You wave it off just like you have your other 41 classmates thus far, but then there’s the clearing of a throat, and a sweet, “good morning” filtering through your speakers. Lifting your head from the hunched over position you had assumed while glancing at your phone, you’re startled by the sudden handsome face that appears before you.

In a sea of black screens and faceless names, there’s one smiley boy that beams back at you through the dimly lit screen of your laptop, a tiny Jeon Jungkook (he/him) tacked to the corner of his window.

He’s nothing short of a dreamboat, soft and doughy cheeks that catch the hue of the screen light, highlighting his cheekbones in a faint blue color. Imploring doe eyes blinking widely at the screen as he clicks around, narrating his confusion in a low mumble (mic still on, how cute). Dark hair— was it brown? black? the pixelated screen made it hard to tell —messily pushed away from his face.

And his voice, oh his voice. It matches his gentle appearance perfectly. A soft snort. “Am I the only one here?” he says, thin lips pulled to the side in a bashful grin.

The professor laughs with him. “No, but you are the only one with your camera on,” he responds.

You’re not sure if it’s the professor’s teasing jab at literally everyone else or the need to support the cutie who smiles softly at screen, but suddenly, a handful of windows come to life. Your classmates fill up the screen, dressed in an array of styles with bedrooms (and, on the rare occasion, dorm rooms) to match. You nibble at your bottom lip, finger hovering over the button that will expose your appearance to the rest of your classmates

Eventually, the wordless peer pressure, the need to be a good student, and the supportive face of Jeon Jungkook (he/him) have you inhaling sharply before dutifully clicking the camera on. Your face appears on screen, nearly lost in the now overwhelming sea of faces. You’re one of the last ones to turn your camera on, both pages of your zoom meeting participant windows filled with the contrasting images of your classmates joining from their bedrooms. The professor claps in delight, and finally dives into the mandatory first day of classes spiel.

Syllabuses, group work, asynchronous lectures. You’ve heard these words all before, have practically memorized this class’s syllabus like the back of your hand. The pros of being an overachiever. The cons are, however, that you think every question your classmates ask is stupid. Read the syllabus, you want to scream. But it’s the first day of class. You don’t even know who your assigned study group partners (as mentioned in the syllabus) are and you certainly don’t want them to dislike you so soon. They can do that after the third meeting, but not today.

You’re not entirely surprised when your attention drifts away from the professor and the endless sea of stupid questions he’s left to answer. Even when you realize you’ve stopped paying attention, you don’t bother forcing yourself to tune back in. No, instead your focus drifts across the windows of faces.

Some of your classmates are as bored as you, glaring at the screen with disinterest, or glancing off to the side probably at their phones. So you start looking at their rooms, analyzing their decorations and posters as if you’re a professional critic on some house design show.

Jeon Jungkook (he/him) is in a rather plain dorm room. Plain light gray walls— or maybe it’s white —free of decoration. He’s sitting at the provided desk, just like you. The only reason you focus on that is because there’s a multitude of your classmates lazily sprawled across their beds, slumped over a couch. Hardly anyone is sitting at attention like you. Well, except for Jeon Jungkook (he/him). He’s practically exposing the entirety of his living accommodation with the way his camera is set up.

Above eye level, reaching just below his chest, with the room all laid out before you. A neat twin bed, sheets meticulously made. It almost looks like the decorative set at a furniture store with the way the comforter and variety of pillows are placed. He doesn’t seem to be in the crappy dorms you remember, which leaves you wondering where exactly he’s been assigned. You know certain sports clubs get fancier dormitories. Anyway, there’s a door off the side of the bed, a black guitar standing in the corner just behind it. You wonder what’s behind the camera, if maybe his desk is as organized as the rest of his room. Maybe his closet is his weakness, you muse, imagining poor Jeon Jungkook (he/him) with a tornado of a closet. But the thought doesn’t make that much sense, so you discard it quickly.

Anyway, his dorm room. It’s neat and orderly, makes you tilt your head curiously as he swivels from side to side before you. As for himself, he’s dressed in a plain white sweater, hoodie strings perfectly even. His hair has long since fallen over his forehead, but he’s pushed it over this time in a fluffy side part. He was adorably soft.

He’s paying attention to the professor like he genuinely treasures every word that comes off his tongue, nodding along understandingly. He’s even got a pencil in hand, leaning forward every few seconds to scribble something down hurriedly. Not like this is all on the syllabus or anything, you think.

But as soon as the thought crosses your mind, it’s dispelled just as fast. He’s only trying to be a good student, you scold yourself, feeling oddly mean for wanting to make fun of this sweet boy. Especially when he raises his hand a second later and asks the first good question of the day. Something about the grading scale for group projects and how much is determined by the group members themselves. You’re not too sure, the words get a little fuzzy when he starts speaking and his pink lips pull down into an endearing pout.

A couple minutes later and your professor finally wraps up the questions, telling everyone to email him if any other questions arise throughout the semester. Just as you’re sighing in relief, he utters those dreaded words: “Ice-breakers!” he exclaims, and the whole class grimaces, much to his amusement. He says something about feeling the excitement through the screen, but then changes gears. “Since it’s a little hard to talk to your neighbor, I’m going to test out the Breakout Rooms and see how that works, okay guys?”

You frown. Breakout Rooms? What on earth was that? Like most of your classmates, this is pretty much your first rodeo with the Zoom application. He was sending you all into small groups, where? The answer presents itself a few seconds later, a message box appearing on your screen.

The host is inviting you to join a Breakout Room: Group 4

Your professor is still chattering in the background when you nervously accept the invitation, his voice suddenly cut off as your computer jumps to a new loading screen. It takes a while before you’re suddenly dumped into a new room. And then you’re staring at your own face, blown up on your own screen in a rather uncomfortable way. Jeez, did you really look like this?

As soon as you get to picking at your appearance, your mirrored reflection jumps to the side, once, then twice more to fit the three new guests in your room. Silence fills your bedroom as you and your classmates all stare at each other nervously for a couple seconds, unsure of what to say. This was, after all, your first meeting.

Just as you’ve gathered all your courage to click your microphone on, the screen jumps around once more and suddenly Jeon Jungkook (he/him) is in your Breakout Room. Immediately, his surprised face melts into the most reassuring grin you’ve ever seen, and he’s practically jumping forward to turn his mic on.

“Good morning, everyone,” he says, smooth and low. It’s like the awkward tension melts away under the pressure of his pretty smile, your classmates responding back with polite hellos and good mornings to him. You barely get yours in before Jeon Jungkook (he/him) starts talking again. “So… how are you guys?”

His words, sweet and caring as they are, send the five of you into a rather mindless conversation. Talking about nothing really, just whatever comes to mind about the class, about the semester, about the remote learning. Then Jungkook— “just Jungkook is fine!” he tells the other four of you with that same too pure look on his face after someone refers to him by his whole name —starts talking about some movie he had seen on Netflix the other day, something his friend recommended to him. Truthfully, you have zero interest in the type of plot he is describing, and you can tell some of the other people in your group don’t either. But he’s absorbed in his storytelling, features lit up as he details every last plot point of the film like his life depends on it. There’s a wordless agreement to let him ramble on.

By the time Jungkook has finished his novella recapture of whatever movie he was talking about, a green message bubble appears at the top of your screen. It’s a message from your professor, who is telling you the small group meeting will end in a few more minutes.

“Aw, that sucks,” Jungkook laughs, rubbing at the back of his neck sheepishly. And then, “oh! We haven’t answered our icebreaker question yet!”

Ah, yes. The reason for this small group was to get to know each other, not for Jungkook to recount an entire two hour movie for you all. “Oh, right,” you agree, probably the first words you’ve said in the past five minutes. You navigate to the chat box, where your professor had hastily dumped the question before sending you all off. “What’s one thing you miss most about being on campus?” you read aloud, glancing back at the screen.

Your group mates are all in various states of blissful comfort, the gaps of their nervousness smoothed over by Jungkook’s bubbly personality, and the hesitation they’d shown at the beginning is practically gone. Someone steps forward and says something about the campus dining hall. Jungkook laughs, loud and airy, claps his hands all cute too. Someone else says the library because it was a good place to study. There’s a lull and you jump in quickly. “I think I’ll miss the couches by the gym in the student center the most,” you confess, though you doubt anyone knows which ones you mean. They were a set of brightly colored couches tucked into a cranny behind the Starbucks just outside the campus gym, avidly avoided by the gym rats who were determined to ignore the sugary drinks and snacks.

Apparently, the hiding spot isn’t as secretive as you thought. “Oh, the ones by the Starbucks?” Jungkook exclaims, excitedly looking at his screen. You have this fluttery feeling that he’s looking at you for the first time. You nod, and he quite positively beams. “I love those!”

“Yeah, I spend a lot of time there,” you say, though it’s a little stilted because you’re not exactly sure how you’re supposed to react to Jungkook’s enthusiasm. Though his outgoing personality cloaks you in comfort, his pretty smile has your heartbeat acting a little funny.

Jungkook’s got these huge eyes, blinking owlishly at you. “Really? So do I!” And then you both seem to have the same realization. His head tilts to the side cutely, an amused smile on his face, “I’ve never seen you there.”

“I’ve never seen you there,” you shoot back, a little snarkier than necessary, but Jungkook doesn’t seem to notice. His smile turns goofy.

“Woah,” he says in a rather dreamy tone, “isn’t that so cool? We spent so much time in the same place, but never crossed paths before,” he babbles. He’s stopped looking at his computer, leaning back in a sort of dazed manner with this sparkly look to his eyes, much to everyone’s amusement. Except yours, because frankly, it sounds a little bit like he’s describing— “fate!” he says suddenly, like it’s truly an aha! moment. He pauses, taps his finger against his chin. “Or anti-fate? I’m not sure. But it’s like— we could’ve met so many times before and we didn’t.” Doe eyes return to the screen, flickering around until they presumably land on you again. “What do you think, __?”

And he’s just so cute, makes the rigid shield around your chest soften for the slightest moment as you nod meekly. “Uhh, yeah. Fate,” you agree, and then get to hear him laugh and giggle for about three seconds before you’re suddenly thrown back into the larger Zoom meeting.

Weirdly flustered, you hurriedly click your microphone back off, and nearly contemplate the camera too. But then the professor is asking you all to share what you talked about and you’re resigning yourself to a few more minutes of screen time while the class wraps up. By the looks of it, not everyone had as an enjoyable time as you did. Part of you is thankful you didn’t get stuck in an awkward small group. The other part recognizes wholeheartedly that it’s all thanks to one smiley boy at the bottom of your screen.

“And group 4?” the professor asks, and you blink yourself back into attention. Before you can unmute yourself and answer for your group, Jungkook is beating you to it.

“We talked about a lot of things,” Jungkook answers cheerfully. From your view, you get a front row seat to the sheer power of Jungkook’s magnetic personality, watching as all your listless classmates suddenly snap back from their daydreams to zero in on whatever Jungkook is saying. He fills in the professor about what you talked about, from the movies to the couches, and you feel weirdly mushy when his eyes flicker across the screen before settling with a soft smile.

He can’t possibly be looking at me, you tell yourself. Your hand jerks forward to turn the camera off, but in your haste, end up knocking down the water bottle on your desk. You scramble to straighten it, thanking the universe for the fact you actually remembered to screw on the cap. You glance back at the screen, and nearly die when you catch sight of a giggly Jungkook, smile hidden behind an adorable sweater paw as he laughs at something on screen. Oh no, was he looking at me? you panic.

“Alright, everyone,” your professor says in that “I’m about to wrap this class up” voice. Too close to the screen, voice a little too loud. “Good meeting today, I’ll see you all again on Wednesday. Stay safe.”

“Bye!” Jungkook sings sweetly, and everyone else follows as they all bid adieu to the professor. Still a little frazzled from the possibility that Jungkook may have watched you flail around like a total loser, you take a second longer to turn your mic on. Your classmates quickly leave the meeting, leaving only a few stragglers until the very end.

Surprisingly, Jungkook is here too, brown eyes focused on the screen. You unmute yourself. “Um,” you stammer, eyes unwillingly flickering over to Jungkook who smiles at the sound of your voice. “Goodbye. Thank you,” you rush out, and then quickly leave the meeting as well.

With the meeting over, you’re left staring at the home page of the Zoom app, heart beating a little too fast to be normal. Your face feels warm, and your fingers tremble from some unfamiliar, giddy feeling in your chest. You exhale slowly, hand coming up to rub at your chin as if that will somehow explain the weird excitement from your Zoom meeting. Maybe it was just adrenaline, or nervousness, you try to convince yourself. After all, the first day of classes is always nerve-wracking.

Except when you navigate to your class page and begin to mindlessly scroll through the class roster, there’s a weird stutter to your heartbeat when you catch sight of that Jeon Jungkook (he/him) that appears halfway down the list.

Copyright © 2020, 1kook on tumblr. absolutely NO reposts allowed.

#bangtanhq #networkbangtan #jungkook smut #jungkook fic #jeon jungkook smut #jeon jungkook fic #jjk smut #jeon jungkook x reader #jjk♡ #jjk fic #bts smut #bts fic #mine

[homo-sex-shoe-whale]

Online shipping, the fetishisation of gay men, and the romanticisation of queer trauma

An essay by me!

Word count: 2.8k

A link to the Google Doc version of this essay.

A big thank you to my friends Nathan @themeerkatnate, Mav @not-mavv , and Duke @dukedark-ness for reading this essay and giving me their thoughts as mlms on the topic. Make sure to check out their blogs and give them a follow!

So I was on a lovely website by the name of Twitter.com yesterday, just scrolling through while having my afternoon cup of coffee, when I saw that viral post of a girl reading a Larry fanfic through a classroom projector. I'm sure most of you have seen it. It's gone viral on Instagram, TikTok, and likely Tumblr too, and if you haven't come across it I'm positive you will soon.

Now, after getting through my initial reaction to that post which was, holy fuck, that's so embarrassing, I had a second reaction of... wait, this ship is still around?

And after I had some thoughts on the incredible permanence of some online ships and the weird obsolescence of others, I did get to thinking of how lots of these popular ships seem to stem from the same types of perceived relationship dynamics and homophobic stereotypes.

These online fandoms often seem to have an obsession with objects of queer trauma, such as having to hide a relationship, lying about sexuality for self-preservation, and even social rejection. So, after some opinions from my followers and the great archive that is the internet, I've decided to discuss some of the most popular examples of online shipping and the particular nuances they came with.

NOTE: Out of respect for all these people, I won't be sharing viral images or videos of them in perceived romantic proximity (or even kissing, as is applicable for some examples), but I will be describing certain moments I deem to be relevant. So even if you're unfamiliar with them, you won't be confused as to what I'm talking about.

NOTE 2: Although not all people within these fandoms were/are toxic, this essay is focused on the overall toxicity of the fandoms, and how they are toxic more so as a "hive" than as a group of individuals. When I refer to a fandom I don't mean every person involved in the fandom, but rather the collective impact of the group.

 1. Harry Styles and Louis Tomlinson 

This is arguably the most popular example of online shipping. The absolute permanence of this ship, and how its fandom never seems to fully die off even beyond the lifespan of One Direction as it once stood, is downright impressive.  

I'm going to be the first to admit I was never in the loop with this fandom. My childhood best friend was actually a massive Larry shipper and asked me to beta read one of her fics, but that was before I even knew who tf Harry and Louis were! Not because I avoided the fandom or even because I rejected the online shipping, but just by coincidence, I delved into the world of pop punk music right when One Direction began gaining its popularity. I bought my first ever album, Riot by Paramore, in 2011- only a year after One Direction made their X-Factor debut. So, this fandom just bypassed me by a sort of weird coincidence.

But I don't need to be in the loop with this fandom to know the astronomical obsession with these two men, no, these two BOYS, was extremely toxic. In 2010, when One Direction made their debut, Harry Styles was only 16 years old. And Louis Tomlinson wasn't much older at 19! This made the two of them incredibly young when this unprecedented wave of shipping hit the internet, and although that must be traumatising for anyone, I cannot even fathom how overwhelming it must've been for two boys that young.  

I'm 18, almost 19 now, and I cannot begin to imagine how scary it was for the two of them to have their every interaction nitpicked within an inch of its life by thousands upon thousands of people online. I do not know this myself, but from numerous recounts by some of my followers, this massively impacted Harry's and Louis' nondescript relationship in real life, seemingly driving the two previously close friends apart. 

Now, before we move on, there's something we need to talk about. And that is the obsession with the dominance/submission dynamic within the world of gay shipping. 

With almost every popular mlm (an acronym meaning man-loving-man) ship based on real people, it seems that fandoms have a particular fascination with power imbalances in these relationships. You don't even need to look at the insane amount of fanfictions based on BDSM to figure this out. In almost all of the examples I'll be citing today, there is an age gap within the perceived relationship and a person the fandom has seemingly decided to be the top/dominant figure. 

Harry Styles and Louis Tomlinson are 3 years apart in age. Although it isn't all that relevant now, an age gap of 3 years when you're in your late teens is a lot more significant. In 2012, for example, when this shipping really started gaining traction, Harry Styles was 18 and Louis Tomlinson was 21. That power imbalance, albeit not that significant, is enough for a fandom to latch on to. We'll see this a lot more in the coming example with Dan and Phil.

 2. Dan Howell and Phil Lester

It's impossible to have a discussion about internet shipping without talking about Dan and Phil.

 Dan Howell and Phil Lester, although being popular YouTubers individually, are arguably one of the internet's most iconic duos. The two creators published their first videos together in 2009, and while their relationship was already a motive of speculation back then, the peak of the "Phan" shipping definitely came in the 2013-2016 era of Tumblr.

Now, I'm going to admit… I was actually on Tumblr when that happened. 

The 2013-2016 period perfectly aligns with my middle school days (I started middle school in 2013 and high school in 2016), and I was not only on Tumblr back then, but I was on Wattpad too! Again, this wasn't a fandom I had much contact with as I had a huge anime phase in middle school and I was on Tumblr posting mainly photography and Soul Eater content more than anything. 

But I did watch some of Dan and Phil's videos! And the occasional "Phan" content did not completely evade me as one of my closest friends in middle school had a fanchat for them. I wasn't involved in the fandom myself but they were actually one of the few English-speaking YouTubers I watched once in a blue moon (back then I watched mainly Brazilian YouTubers). One thing I did in fact notice over the years, around 2014ish perhaps, was that the two of them seemed to grow increasingly "awkward" around each other, in a way that many folks on the internet thought was reminiscent to Markiplier/Jacksepticeye, two YouTubers who also dealt with extraordinary amounts of shipping.

I'm not the only one who thinks this. The change in Dan and Phil's relationship, at least to the outside world, was clear to almost anyone who watched their videos for a while. I cannot blame them at all. The shipping was nuts. Between the countless fan videos, speculative comments, and insurmountable number of fanfics, there's no way the two of them didn't feel the weight of the shipping. The term "demon phannie" made its way into internet vernacular and there it stayed for years. Even Shane Dawson, who was one of the largest creators on the platform at the time, made several videos speculating on the nature of Dan and Phil's relationship and their sexual orientations. 

There was even porn made in which actors with similar appearances to the creators were made to have sex on camera. 

Now, this is actually a rare example where the two people involved in the ship actually came out as gay once the shipping seemed to die down. I'm incredibly happy Dan and Phil both reached a point where they were comfortable being publicly out, but I hate to say I'm shocked this day ever came. If I'd gone through what the two of them did, I don't know if I'd ever trust the internet. 

And again, this ship's fandom definitely had an obsession with the power dynamics they thought existed between the people within the ship. Dan Howell is 4 years younger than Phil Lester, and was only 18 in 2009, when they started making videos together. From my personal understanding, the shipping was often quite focused on this dominant/submissive dynamic especially in discussions from their early relationship. And this is in no way exclusive to Dan and Phil.

This general fascination with the older man/younger man dynamic, in my opinion, plays into the homophobic stereotype that gay men are predators. The idea that gay men usually seek younger men, and somehow "convince" them to engage in homosexual relationships, is popular homophobic rhetoric. The popularisation, exaggeration, and fetishisation of these power imbalances, in age and/or in relationship dynamics, is directly harmful to the mlm community. 

Not only that, but the romanticisation of a "hidden/forbidden relationship" is also detrimental not only to gay men and the mlm community, but to queer people as a whole. Queer people face huge trauma having to hide their relationships; queer attraction is already a societal taboo. And acting like this is good, or even desirable, is harmful to queer people as a whole, regardless of whether or not it's actually applicable to the people being shipped. It normalises this trauma not only to cisgender, heterosexual people, but to impressionable queer youth who grow to believe this type of trauma is to be expected. 

3. Frank Iero and Gerard Way

This is another example where the perceived power imbalances between the two subjects of the shipping were directly exploited online. Now, this ship did precede the others mentioned above. If we're looking at this topic chronologically, this particular ship did come first in the shipping timeline. It's closer to the origin of the shipping extended universe, if you will.

In case you aren't familiar with them, Frank Iero and Gerard Way are both members of the American emo band My Chemical Romance. This ship is the first one here of which I don't recall the full popularity. It really peaked in popularity around the late 2000s, circa 2008. And I don't remember this moment online as in 2008, I was only 6 years old and believe it or not, I wasn't really all that concerned with rumoured homoeroticism as a first grader. 

However, the popularity of this ship did carry over into the 2013-2015 Tumblr shipping boom. The emo fandom (or "bandom" as it was called) involving not only My Chemical Romance but other similar bands such as Fall Out Boy, Panic! At The Disco, and Pierce the Veil, found its hub on Tumblr. 

During this time, I did in fact listen to this style of music, but was focused a lot more on the anime side of Tumblr as mentioned earlier. Of course, I wasn't 13 years old like, "hey, this type of content might be harmful and can inadvertently perpetuate homophobic stereotypes," I just happened to care more about my silly little anime and ended up not getting involved. 

This ship does involve a discussion that the others don't, however. With Frank Iero and Gerard Way, there is quite often a certain sentiment of, "Oh, they brought this upon themselves!" as the two band members very famously kissed during a show in 2007. In my opinion, though, this doesn't really justify all the obsessive shipping. If you look at Green Day, a band often grouped in with MCR as another famous pop punk group, the members don't follow too different of a trajectory. Billie Joe Armstrong has, on numerous occasions, kissed both of his fellow band members onstage- particularly Tré Cool, the drummer. And Billie Joe Armstrong is openly bisexual, which none of the members of MCR seem to be but some, or even all of Billie's bandmates, are too. 

You'd think Green Day would face a lot more shipping as the more persistent onstage homoeroticism and Billie Joe's openness about his sexuality would warrant more "substantiated" speculation. However, Green Day faces nowhere near as much shipping as My Chemical Romance. Why is this? I actually don't know. It might've been because Green Day has been around for over a decade longer and generally has an older fandom, but I really am not that sure. 

 It could also be because of the lower lack of potential for forced relationship dynamics. The members of Green Day are all less than a year apart in age and are even similar in height. However, Frank Iero is 4 years younger than Gerard Way, who is not only the frontman of My Chemical Romance, but also considered to be the group's intellectual and creative "leader". Even beyond that, Gerard Way is quite visibly taller, and the perceived power difference between the two of them definitely did not elude their fans. 

This difference could even be partly due to the lack of a "mystery" with Green Day. There's not as much to speculate as, well… the members of Green Day are already open about their sexual orientations. It might be that shipping in the Green Day fandom has less of a forbidden appeal for most people. 

Of course, I won't just keep repeating myself, but my previous points about forced relationship dynamics still stand.

4. Martin Freeman and Benedict Cumberbatch

Better known for their roles in BBC Sherlock as Sherlock and Watson, Martin Freeman and Benedict Cumberbatch unfortunately had their roles follow them well into real life. This is the example I know least about, so have these thoughts from a follower by the name of @indubitably-a-goblin, who had the following to say:

"the main issues i had with it were:

a) they were both married at the time, freeman to amanda abbington and cumberbatch to sophie hunter (in which both had children)

b) the main reasoning for it was their chemistry in the many projects they've done together. which is, shockingly, their Whole Job. They're actors! That's what they're supposed to do! if they weren't good at interacting then they wouldn't be good actors! i don't know how people can't understand this.

c) they're real people. we don't know them. we aren't friends with them. we aren't their family members. we have zero right to be pushing this onto them and ruining their friendship by doing so. (this one relates to most of the ships you've mentioned though)

d) healthy friendships between two men are ignored so plainly in most medias and in fandom. its obvious that these two men have a relationship, but that doesn't mean it's a romantic one.

e) its fine to ship their characters, but actors shouldn't be treated as less-than-human or some sort of prop. they're doing a job, and once they are off-screen, they aren't here for your entertainment."

I believe she did a great job of summing it up on her own, and for the sake of avoiding redundancy, I'll leave it at that!

5. Corpse Husband and Sykkuno- an emerging yet subtle example

I am absolutely positive you remember how popular the game Among Us was a couple of months ago. And with the popularity of this game, some of its most prominent content creators became the targets of online shipping- as is the case with YouTubers and streamers Corpse Husband and Sykkuno. 

Although the shipping involving these two creators is nowhere near as strong as it was/is with the examples above, I do think there is once again a reemergence of a common theme here. Whilst Sykkuno is known for his happy-go-lucky, almost "innocent" persona, Corpse Husband is the antithesis of this, known for his much darker and moodier personality. 

Do I even have to mention what the common theme seems to be?

Again, although the popularity of shipping - at least with real people - seems to have died down a bit since the Tumblr shipping boom of the early to mid 2010s, I do believe this example is worth mentioning. Even though the creators are still close, they have in fact expressed discomfort regarding the shipping, and I can only hope the internet as a whole lets their friendship blossom and exist naturally without obsessive speculation. 

My final thoughts

As explored in the essay:

The romanticisation of objects of queer trauma as a part of online shipping normalises queer trauma to both cishet and queer youth. 

Online shipping, especially at a high intensity, can end up negatively impacting the very relationships they pine over. 

The relationship dynamics often forced on mlm ships perpetuate homophobic stereotypes about non-heterosexual men. 

If anyone else has thoughts on this matter, do share! This essay is moreso an opinionated observational piece and isn't meant to be taken as fact but rather just as my thoughts on the matter. I hope it was useful as a reflective piece regardless!

Date of posting: June 16th 2021

#lgbt #lgbtq #gay #mlm #I cannot believe I said the phrase 'shipping extended universe'