#I feel gross if I don't shower daily

[yardsards]

it always feels so nice to be freshly bathed/showered and yet my depressed ass always neglects my hygiene. why.

#eliot posts #the REAL kicker is #my ideal washing schedule is just every other day #bc i don't sweat much and my skin is pretty dry #but no. i go LONGER than that. like come on depression. i'm not even asking for DAILY. #it's less bad when i have in person classes and have to worry about not smelling bad #but still #sidenote i need to starr doin somethin different about washing my face cuz as it stands i already use a super gentle and moisturizing soap #but STILL after a shower my face feels dry and then responds by making itself so so greasy #on non-shower days i just wash it with plain water and it feels great and doesn't get greasy #i mean every day i wash it with just water in the sink 2 or 3 times throughout the day #so maybe i should just. stop using soap on my face??? worth a try i guess #like during my worst depressive episodes my body is so gross but my face looks Lovely

[cha0ticspacebi]

Creeping Death

You get sick and your boyfriend Eddie comforts you.

Pairing: Boyfriend! Eddie Munson x Female Reader

Word Count: 1.3 K

Tags/Warnings: Reader gets her period. Otherwise this is all fluff. Eddie being a dork, hurt/comfort. I don't care if it's SFW, MDNI 18+ only

Author's Note: If anyone has been wondering where the hell I've been I've been sick as fuck and this is inspired heavily by true events.

It started with a familiar tickle in your throat. One that seemed to come right around this time every single year no matter how careful you tried to be. You were getting sick. Hey. It comes with the territory of teaching 23 tiny germ favorites on a daily basis. Wanting to try and fight it before it got too bad, you stopped at the drugstore on the way home and grabbed the essentials. Preparing to hunker down for a little extra sleep. Hoping that you’d wake up with that tickle gone in the morning.

Well morning came and you were so congested you couldn’t breathe right out of both sides of your nose.

MDNI Banner Credit

Rolling over and snatching your phone from the nightstand you sent out two messages. One to work saying you’d be out for the day, letting them know where they could find emergency sub plans and another to your boyfriend Eddie. Just a quick Hey, I’m feeling pretty gross. Not going into work. We’ll have to reschedule our date tonight. Love you. And with that you went back to sleep.

Being sick fucking sucks, is the first thought you have as you wake up feeling worse than when you did earlier. You knew you needed to crawl out of bed and grab the medicine you’d had the foresight to get the night before; But that sounded like a task of herculean proportions. So instead you decided to lay there for as long as possible until a noise startled you awake from where you must’ve fallen asleep again.

You could hear footsteps moving around in the kitchen area of your small apartment. The pattern of movement sounded so familiar and it wasn’t fear that filled you, it was relief. Relief that probably in just a moment you’d be greeted with that adorable head of floppy brown hair and the biggest, most beautiful brown eyes ever to grace the face of the earth.

“Hey angel,” his voice was low as he poked his head in your bedroom door, “You feeling any better?”

You poked just your head out of the soft blanket cocoon you’d been living in now for over 12 hours, “No.” Your voice was scratchy and talking immediately brought out a harsh cough, “What time is it?”

“Oh baby you sound awful,” he ignored your question and stepped inside the room more. Sitting just on the edge of the bed, “Have you taken any medicine in a while?”

You shook your head, “S’too cold out there.”

He laughed. That alone was enough to brighten your mood for just a moment. Until you started coughing again, “Already my little germ queen, come on out. You’re going to take some medicine, shower and I’m going to make you some tea and soup.”

Your defiant noise of protest caused Eddie’s brow to raise, “You know I’m right baby. Come on, you’ll feel better if you get up. Do this for me and then you can lay back down. I promise, but you need to eat something.” His hand finds the small of your back even though it’s covered in many layers of blanket, “Sweetheart.” His tone changed when you made no effort to move. It was lowered to one that left no more room for discussion.

Slowly you squirmed out of the bed and downed the medicine he handed you before trudging your way to the bathroom for a hot shower. But first, sleeping for so long naturally caused your bladder to fill and as soon as you stood up it was full to bursting. Any relief you might’ve felt was short lived though because it didn’t take long for you to figure out why you felt more run down than normal.

Eddie’d gone into the kitchen just as he said he would and was just pouring the hot water into your favorite mug when he hears you let out an agonizing FUCK!  

In his never ending attentiveness he rushed to the door and tapped at it, “Baby are you ok? S’everything alright?”

“I started my goddamn period!” Another groan came from the other side of the door, “This should be a fucking crime!”

“Oh baby that sucks! Hold on just a second, I’ll be right back ok?” His gentle tone somehow made dealing with the fact that not only are you sick but now it just got a whole lot worse. After finishing up in the bathroom you decided to eat before taking a shower. Just as you opened the door Eddie was walking towards you.

“When you said you weren’t feeling good this morning I wasn’t sure if it was germy sick or period pains– guess I was right in getting both,” he gestured to the two distinctly different baskets in his large arms. One had cough drops, extra soft tissues, and a box of your favorite tea. The other had a few of your favorite snacks in a variety of salty and sweet, a new hot pad shaped like a potato that you can heat up in the microwave, and your preferred brand of pain relief. 

The pressure formed behind your eyes instantly. Your stuffy nose began dripping as tears formed in the corners of your eyes. Without a word you collapsed into him, wrapping your arms around his waist and crying into his faded Sabbath shirt. Letting out a whiny sort of muffled thank you as you speak into his shirt, “Eddie you didn’t have to do all this.”

His arms being already occupied he instead leaned down slightly and kissed the top of your head, “None of that. I know I didn’t have to baby. I wanted to. I love you–” he kissed you again, “Gotta make sure my girl’s taken care of.”

After telling him that you’d shower after eating you followed behind him like a lost puppy into the kitchen but he stopped you, “Go sit on the couch. It’s almost done and I’ll bring it to you.” 

The soup and tea he made you was just what you needed. The warmth from the broth soothed your raw throat and his presence next to you as you sat and watched reruns of cartoons from when you were kids soothed your very soul. Of course he insisted he do the dishes. He laughed at your weak protests, “Eds you know I’m feeling a little better. I can help with that.”

“Certainly not!” he stepped back into view holding an empty paper towel roll, “Do you hear that?” He held the roll to his lips. Your brow quirked up with curiosity at his playful antics, “The horns of Gondor call for you sweetheart!” He blew into the tube causing a noise that sounded remarkably close to the real thing as heard in your shared favorite movie. You erupted with laughter which, as good as it felt, was short lived because after just a moment you were coughing instead. He dropped the tube and started to go grab you a cough drop, but you stopped him, “M’ok baby.” You tried laughing again with just a little less enthusiasm, “Maybe just don’t be so freaking cute anymore.”

He laughed, “You’re the cute one angel. Now be a good girl and put The Fellowship in the player so we can watch it after your shower.”

✧༺ ☕︎ ༻✧

Your cold turned out to be a lot worse than you both thought. After a trip to the doctor’s and one round of antibiotics later you started to feel a bit better. But you like to think it’s most likely thanks to Eddie’s “expert” care. However, the morning after you were both sure that you weren’t sick anymore, Eddie got sick. He stayed over and when you rolled over to kiss him good morning, his forehead was burning up.

“Please honey,” you tried to reason with him, “You probably have what I have. Go to the doctor’s. You’ll feel better if you get some stronger medicine.”

He scoffed with a loud cough, “I’ve got all the medicine I need right here.” His “medicine” being his ringed fingers clutching at your thigh from where you both rested on the couch and the shot of whiskey in his hand. His fever broke and he was right as rain two days later.

#eddie munson x reader #eddie x reader #eddie munson x fem!reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson oneshot #eddie munson x y/n

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for not caring about/belittling my friend's problems because I feel my problems are way worse?

I am homeless. I live in a car. It majorly sucks, but I can tolerate most days and get through them. My friend is well aware of this fact and I complain about it extremely rarely, as I don't want to be bitching and moaning constantly. And generally, I actually can get through most days and while I'm never truly happy, most days, I'm neutral. That doesn't mean the difficulties magically disappear, however, but I can manage them mostly fine.

However, there is one obstacle that I consider worse than all others and is much, much more difficult to manage, especially the longer it goes on.

Showering. Getting clean. Personal hygiene. However you want to phrase it.

I can scrape by with baby wipes and whores' baths in park bathrooms, but at some point, I can't handle it any more and it genuinely takes a toll on my mental health.

Now on to my friend.

He still lives with his parents (no hate to those who live at home- I'm just pointing this out to illustrate the fact that he doesn't pay rent or bills, other than small ones for himself, like his phone bill) and has no children or responsibilities. He does have a job, but since he has no bills to pay and no kids to support, he always has spending money and doesn't really struggle.

He also constantly complains to me about random shit every day- his job (where he makes double what I make) or his parents (whose house he lives in)

Now, one day, the faucet in his shower was leaking. A plumber came over to fix it and shut off the water while he was repairing the faucet. My friend sent me a text every 10-20 minutes complaining about not being able to shower and having to flush the toilet with a bucket of water.

I told him that I know that sucks, because when I was growing up, our toilet broke and it took the landlord 3 months to send somebody to fix it. And during that time, we had to fill the toilet daily with water. For 3 months. So I understood very well.

Also, my friend has a gym membership that has showers (that he refuses to go to, because the showers are "gross") a rich friend that has multiple houses and gave my friend a spare to one of them, and an uncle who lives right next door who has functioning water facilities. So he very, very easily could've showered. Yet, he complained to me about how hard it is to go so long without a shower.

Oh, how long was it, you may be wondering?

SIX HOURS. 6. Not even a full fucking day.

So I told him all of what I just said. And told him what an entitled dick he was being when he didn't even have to go a full day without showering, meanwhile I hadn't had a real shower in over a month.

So AITA? I mean, it's not really a contest for who has a shittier life, but you have to admit that someone complaining to you about the same things that you're going through, but on a WAY, WAY smaller scale is kind of frustrating.

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

[jaemmphilia]

★ 𝘥𝘢𝘺 𝘧𝘪𝘷𝘦: 𝘴𝘸𝘦𝘢𝘵

★ kinktober 2023 - masterlist ★ includes: sehun ★ warnings: explicit content, reader has a sweat kink, sehun is a sweaty boy. sehun's sweat smells neutral (no stinky boys allowed) © triplejracha, 2023. please do not copy to any other platform.

Sehun is drenched.

His shirt is sticking to his skin in the most uncomfortable way, beads of sweat dripping down the side of his face. No matter how many times he wipes his face to get rid of the sweat but it keeps rolling down his body.

He finishes his daily run and enters his apartment that he shares with you. Kicking off his shoes, he goes to the bedroom to take a shower. He sees you laying in bed just as you were when he left less than an hour ago. This time around, you're awake and scrolling on your phone.

You sit up in bed and stretch, the blanket falling off your bare upper body. You look at Sehun with a sleepy smile on your face, your eyes noticing that he's sweating like crazy. Something in your brain tells you to jump his bones.

You decide to grab him while his back is turned to you, your arms reaching out to tug him onto the bed, your nose tucked into his neck. You hold onto his damp body tightly, not allowing him to escape your hold.

"Babe, what are you doing? I'm all gross and sweaty!" Sehun says, laughing as you breathe in his scent, your hair tickling his neck.

"Mmh, I don't care. I like it when you're sweaty." You mutter into his neck, placing kisses on his salty skin. "I wanna ride you."

"Can you at least wait until I take a shower?" Sehun questions, watching as you push him down onto the bed before straddling him.

"If we do that, then you'll just have to take another shower, and that's wasteful." You point out, grinding against his lap. "Besides, we could just shower together."

Sehun wants to disagree with you but he knows that you're right in this situation. He allows you to continue your actions, watching as you rid him of his jogging shorts and underwear.

You slip off your own pair of underwear, your hands working Sehun's cock until he's mostly hard. You sit on his dick, letting out a soft moan as you do. As you swivel your hips slowly, you lean down to lick at your boyfriend's sweaty chest.

Goosebumps form on Sehun's skin as your tongue glides along his pecs and nipples. He isn't used to getting this much stimulation all at once, so he tries to not cum too soon like a horny teen.

You begin to pick up the pace of your hips, your tongue lapping up any traces of sweat left on Sehun's body. It's truly addicting, the way he smells and tastes despite going on a 2 hour long run.

It doesn't take long for Sehun to lose control, his cock emptying inside your walls, filling you to the brim. The feeling of his warm cum coating your insides is enough to bring you to completion, your cock leaking on the valley of his stomach.

Sehun had no idea you were so addicted to his sweat, but he's definitely not complaining about it.

#💘 written by tjr #👻 kinktober 2023 #kpop x male reader #kpop x reader #male reader #exo x reader #exo x male reader #exo smut #sehun #exo sehun #sehun x reader #sehun x you #sehun x male reader

[riririnnnn]

Plsplsplsplspls make headcanons for charles if you have the time UR WRITING IS JUST SO GOOD??

YO??? This was unexpected since I rarely write here. Well, I can't understand what type of headcanons you want, so I'm writing all three: Silly; As a romantic partner, and Red Flags.

-> Silly

He doesn't mind farting in front of everyone in the locker's room and then blames whoever he feels like for blaming. He'd even add a top-notch acting of being grossed out like, "What are you doing, dude? Have some manners!"

He has definitely pulled down someone's pants right in the middle of the Blue Lock's cafeteria and then ran away cackling like the little shit he is.

He pulls prank on a daily basis and the main victim of them is Tokimitsu. He tried pranking Zantetsu, but lost interest because that fake glasses boy never even understood his pranks in the first place.

He has never quietly entered that communal bathhouse bathtub (or whatever that is). He always dives or bodyslams into the water—he once nearly cracked open his skull while doing a summersault, but he never learns his lessons.

Loki put him on a child leash during the flight to Japan. He also threw a tantrum to sit on a window seat, but then whined later because he could only see clouds.

-> As a romantic partner

Loyal. Very loyal. In fact, he is so loyal that he legit finds every other person ugly except you. He is so, so whipped for you to the point he physically gags thinking about someone else.

He is definitely the guy to be at a party or anywhere else and suddenly, he misses you and drops everything to go running back to wherever you are.

Just forget personal space and breathing when you are with him because he is going to shower you with so many kisses on your face that you'll actually suffocate.

Little spoon or big spoon? He doesn't care as long as he can have his head on your chest. Your calming lub-dub of your heartbeat is the mellowest lullaby for him.

If you cook or bake something and send it for his WHOLE team, then I promise you, he isn't giving a single crumb to anyone. He is inhaling everything doesn't matter if he gets stomachache later because of overeating—it's worth it, according to him.

-> Red Flags

Be honest, we all saw it coming—yes, he is very immature. Everything is a joke to him and though at first, his personality may prevent fights and arguements, but in a longer run, it becomes draining because he doesn't take anything seriously.

If you don't find any of his 'interests' as interesting, then he'll whine and whine until you give in to his demands. However, he won't do the same for you if he isn't interested in your 'interests'. He'll just act indifferent.

He doesn't know anything about periods and he actually doesn't even try to learn about it. Even when you'll try to educate him about it, he would show no efforts and might even say that, "Girls are so dramatic."

He might indirectly, and maybe even unintentionally, humiliate you in public by talking about you in a crude or inappropriate way. Even when he is called out for it, he just thinks he is being funny.

When you'll break up with him, he'll defame your character in public. He'll make you look like the bad person, spread false rumours about you being unfaithful and will make sure his fans harasses you.

That's all, I guess.

It's a bit tough to write about him without making him seem OOC, to be honest.

I hope the above headcanons make sense.

#blue lock #bllk #blue lock headcanons #bllk headcanons #charles chevalier #雪 writing

[strangemaleswaps]

Strange Shower Swap

After eating a good breakfast, I began my leg stretches. They always say it's the most important thing to do before you go on your daily run, and I agree; pulling a muscle hurts like hell. I made sure each and every muscle was loosened up enough, then took one good look at myself in the mirror before getting my shoes on. Man, I really do look good. 

My route goes around the neighborhood, and I usually see somebody I know, so it's important to look good while I exercise. I used to wear a shirt back when I had no visible muscle, but now that I do, I want the whole world to see my sexy abs. 

I walked outside, put my earbuds in, and started my run. My ultimate goal is to get to a 5 minute mile time. It seems so close yet so far, but I'm a go-getter and I'm not giving up until I achieve it. I ran past a few people - a couple of my neighbors, a few kids playing in the streets, but most importantly, my crush Ben, who was also running. He's so hot! He has the cutest little smile that can easily turn into the sexiest smirk. Even though I look the part, inside I'm really just a shy guy. He caught up behind me, until we were running side by side.

"Hey Cameron, looking good!" He said to me between breaths.

"H-hey Ben. Same to you. Nice run huh?"

"Yeah man, you got a goal?"

"Oh uh 5 minute mile time is nice."

"5 minutes?! That's pretty steep!" You got this though. Don't give up!"

"Thanks!"

"Hey so you wanna hang out later?" All of a sudden I couldn't breathe. I started coughing and had to stop. Ben immediately stopped as well.

"Hey, hey! Are you ok?"

"Y-yeah, just a bug flew into my mouth I guess, haha."

"Haha, you're pretty funny."

"And uh-yeah, we can hang. You can stop by my house later if you want."

"Cool! See you then!" We started running again but parted ways shortly as my route curved to the right, while he went to the left. I can't believe that happened! Is this a date?! I'm so excited, but nervous…

I arrived at my house, full of sweat, and immediately headed upstairs to the bathroom next to my room, only to find the shower was already occupied. I walked in, annoyed and confused as to why my dad was using it. I could see the outline of his gross obese body through the curtain.

"Dad?"

His head peeked out from the side. 

"Hey Cam, what’s up?"

"Why the hell are you in my shower?" 

"Hot water broke in the one downstairs or something."

"Doesn't give you permission to use my shower."

"Boy, you're lucky enough that I'm letting you stay here for the summer between college semesters. Lots of parents don't let their kids back in. My house, my rules."

"Whatever." I don't hate my dad, but he gets on my nerves a lot. Especially when he eats a load of food in front of me. Sometimes I swear he does it on purpose because he's trying to rub it in that I can't eat that much in order to maintain my body. I especially hate when he seems cool one moment, but then changes his tone, acting like a regular parent.

I had to wash up after a long run like that so I decided to head to his shower instead. A cold shower does feel nice after a run…for about 30 seconds. But soon enough I'm gonna need the steamy feel of warm water on my back. The shower downstairs wasn't as good as mine was, it was a little outdated and smelled funny. I'm not surprised the hot water broke in it.

I took my clothes off, turned the handle and walked in. He wasn't kidding, this is freezing! I washed up all that I needed when I noticed the shower water was changing colors. It started off as red and went to orange. Not only is the water cold but it's contaminated! I reached for the handle and noticed it changed colors again, yellow then green. What the hell is in the water now? It then changed to blue, then indigo and finally purple. Finally, all the colors of the rainbow poured out at the same time. What the fuck is going on with this shower?

Suddenly the hot water came back. I was glad, but I'm sure I'll have to take another shower after, so I can get all those weird colored chemicals off me. For now I was just going to enjoy the hot water. I closed my eyes for a minute.

When I opened my eyes I noticed that I wasn't even in the bad shower anymore. I was in my own shower! What the hell happened? Did I teleport or something? 

"Hey, what's going on?" I was startled by my own voice. It sounded much deeper and louder than normal. I reached for the handle and noticed my hand and arm looked bigger and darker. I looked down at myself and shouted.

"WHAT THE FUCK!" I'm huge! I'm fucking obese! I have man tits! What happened? I quickly turned the shower off and examined my body. I put my hand on my tits, lifted them up, and watched them sag into the mound of fat that was my chest. Fuck, what is happening to me?! I opened the shower curtain, and carefully put my huge legs over the bathtub wall one at a time. I knew I was naked but thankfully couldn't see my dick, whatever it looked like. The mirror was fogged up so I went to my bedroom for a mirror…wait, I'm still naked. I took the towel hanging on the wall and had to lift up my flabby belly as I wrapped it around my waist. It wasn't even big enough to wrap completely, but the weight of my rolls kept it from falling down.

I walked into the bedroom, approached the mirror and nearly had a heart attack. Staring right at me was my dad, only he was copying everything I was doing. This can't possibly be real! I’ve turned into my dad! I walked up closer making ridiculous expressions with his face, feeling sick to my stomach. I have no hair either! I rubbed my bald head, sliding my hand up from my forehead to the back of my neck. I stroked my beard, then ran my fingers through my entire face. This is real all right. I took a step backwards, eyeing my massive frame and did a little dance, shaking back and forth, the saggy flesh going everywhere. I look awful! How did this happen? Whatever weird water came out of that shower downstairs somehow swapped the bodies of me and my dad! But wait, if I'm in his body then he must be…

Suddenly the door opened and there stood me. My body, I mean. It was weird looking at myself, moving of its own accord, not following what I'm doing. He was naked, wrapped up in a towel.

"Cam, what the hell is going on?" He spoke with my voice, which caught me off guard. Do I really sound like that?

"You tell me, dad!" Once again his deep voice came out of my mouth. "The one time you force me to use your own shower, we end up swapping bodies!"

"I don't know what the hell happened either! But it's pretty nice! Don't think I've ever been this fit in my life! I feel so nimble!" He looked down at his chest and rubbed it. "And are these abs? Wow! I have actual abs!"

"Hey stop touching me! Remember I'm trapped in YOUR gross body!" With that he started laughing.

"Oh, Cam! That's…hey I'm sorry. But it's kinda funny! Just you…you run everyday! The irony!" I wanted to punch him so bad, but since he was in my body, I'd rather not injure…myself.

"Well if we're gonna be stuck like this, you're gonna have to do all the hard work running then. Or you'll end up fat once again!"

"Aw shit. Well, I'm young at least." Oh god, I was so focused on the weight gain that I didn't consider how much older I was now. I just lost about 25 years of my life! And even if I started running again, it'll take years to even get close to what my body was before…and I'll be full of saggy loose skin! I’m not about to let my dad tease me nonstop for this so I changed the subject.

"Well, if we're gonna be stuck like this, we might as well get dressed." 

"Right on. I left my clothes in the bathroom. And you have some clothes in the closet somewhere?"

"Yeah."

I walked back into the now clear bathroom, and found my dad's clothes laying on the countertop. I slipped the towel off, lifting up my belly once again, and put on a giant pair of boxers. In my old body, these would've been like a blanket on me! It was a weird feeling, having a part of my skin go over my underwear like that. My gut was nearly touching my knees! I pulled on a faded green polo shirt, realizing how hard it is to put on a shirt when your chest isn’t flat. I pulled it over my man tits, and all the way down to my hanging belly. I then put on a pair of blue jeans and belt, initially tucking my fat in underneath them. I realized how awkward that looked so I settled for pulling my belly over it. It'll be obvious that I'm fat no matter what, but at least I won't look so round. I walked into my room just as my dad, wearing one of my tight black tank tops and basketball shorts, began walking out.

"Wait where are you going?"

"To the grocery store! I was going to go anyway before all of this, and well…" For the first time since the swap, his posture changed and he looked upset.

"Yeah?"

"I mean I'm so fit, and young again! I just want to go out in public and kinda show myself off you know?"

"I get it. Just…fine. As long as you don't hit on anyone or do anything embarrassing. I have a rep you know!”

"Yeah of course! Nothing weird! It's cool! I'll give you some uhh privacy now." I rolled my eyes and he noticed. "Hey, you'll get used to it! It's…..just stay out of trouble!" With that he closed the door. I could hear him walking, no, running, down the stairs, picking up his keys and stepping out the front door.

Well shit. What am I supposed to do now? I walked over to sit on my bed, the weight of my dad's belly on my thighs. How does he live like this? I feel so immobile. I moved over to lie down on the bed, my whole body jiggling as I tried to get myself comfortable. My bed is so small! I started feeling drowsy, maybe because of the mental exhaustion of everything that just happened, but probably because my dad's a lazy guy in general.

I woke up a few hours later to the sound of the doorbell. Fuck, I'm still my dad. I tried to get up as I always do but my gut was weighing me down so I kinda just rolled over and got up that way. My dad has keys, why would he need to…oh god. NO. NO!!! It's gotta be Ben! We were gonna have our date! Well not a date, but hangout. He can't see me like this! But I can’t just leave him wondering what happened! I started running to the front door, my belly and tits moving chaotically as I tried not to trip. By the time I reached the door, I was out of breath. This feels so pathetic; I was doing so good with my health! I opened the door to find Ben smiling.

"Oh hey Mr. Parker! What's up?" He really thinks I'm my dad!

"Oh uh hi Ben! I uh heard you were coming for a date?" Shit! Not only do I suck at trying to imitate my dad, but I HAD to call it a date?!

"A date, well, I mean it could be…but hey well is Cameron here?" Did he just blush?

"Cameron? Oh yeah he's uh upstairs." I am an absolutely terrible liar.

"Oh, can I see him?"

"No."

"No?"

"I mean, he's not here. Well he is but…"

"Mr. Parker, are you ok?"

"I uh…Ben…look. I-I don't know how to say this but. I AM Cameron."

"What?"

"Something happened a few hours ago after my run and I switched bodies with my dad."

"Oh, you're fucking with me!"

"No really! Here, during our run today when you approached me, I started coughing and said I swallowed a fly, but actually I was just nervous around you."

"So that's what happened? Cameron, is that really you?"

"Yeah it's me. I look like my gross obese dad. I'm trapped like this for who knows how long. I don't know how to get out!”

"Interesting…" He seemed even more flustered than he was before.

"Are...you good?"

"Ok ok. You confessed. Now I'll confess. I uh- think you're fucking hot."

"R-really? I mean, sorry to let you down but my dad has the hot bod right now."

"No I mean, I like you, well your personality and all; I think you're really cute. But your body…your new body, just. Yes!"

"No fuckin way! You're turned on by my dad's body?"

"Yeah…" Suddenly a really naughty idea popped into my head.

"Well, it's still me in here even if the body isn't mine."

"I'm listening…"

"Why don't we head up to my room to see what happens?"

"Please….yes…"

We walked up to my room, and within seconds of closing the door, clothes were already flying off.

"You have NO idea how much of a big fantasy this is for me. Your mind, and coolness, but your dad's porky body."

We hopped onto my bed, and cuddled a bit, him massaging my tits and rubbing my nipples. The sensation went straight to my dick. Ben nuzzled his head in my belly and squeezed every inch of it. This is incredible. As I lay there seeing his face sink into my fat, he lifted up my belly and started sucking my dick. I still couldn't see it, or knew how big it actually was, but I was getting hard quickly. He was no doubt an expert at oral. With each motion of his mouth, I was getting closer and closer to cumming, but I knew I had to hang on in order to fully enjoy the moment. This wasn't how I ever expected to fuck Ben, but I didn’t care. Being a fat guy fucking a tiny twink is amazing. As he stopped sucking my dick, I could see a sparkle in his eye.

"Hey, lay on me."

"Huh?"

"Yeah lay on me. Smother me in your flab rolls."

I was a little hesitant but Ben positioned himself on his back and slowly, I let myself sink into him. I could barely feel him underneath it all, but his dick was sticking straight up, touching mine. He grabbed my face and we started making out. With each kiss he dug his tongue further and further into my mouth until he was practically penetrating me. He rubbed my bald head as he continued. I began humping his chest with my dick, which prompted another sparkle in his eye. He turned around and got on all fours.

"You’re welcome inside…"

I always suspected he was a bottom! It was a lot harder to find the hole with my gut in the way, but luckily he was extremely loose. Sticking my dick in his asshole, I slowly moved him onto his chest, flattening him once again, but this time my dick inside. I started grinding, Ben moaning with each motion. As I went even faster he moaned even louder. At this point I was sweating like a pig, which only seemed to turn him on even more. I grinded further. Harder and harder, I was smothering him under a huge amount of weight. I can't imagine how that could be comfortable being crushed like that but he didn't seem to mind. I reached my giant hands under his chest, gathering all my strength, and flipped us both upside down like pancakes. With Ben now on his back, sinking into my fat, I started grinding harder until he finally came at the same time I did, exploding everywhere as I filled his hole with my fluids. He lied on my belly, both of us out of breath.

You know, I could get used to this. Ben's into big guys, and I'd love to fulfill his fantasy again. I don't think my dad would mind having my body a little while longer as long as I can have his...

#strangemaleswaps #male body swap #body swap #male tf #weightgain

[rubendiasthoughts]

I have another one for you! Hope you enjoy this, thank you to the lovely person who suggested it ❤

What Ruben would be like when you are on your period - headcanon:

-Okay first of all, we all know he is so boyfriend - he would definitely go to the store to buy you tampons or pads if you asked him. Even if it's super late and you forgot that you have run out of them. And he would definitely come back with not only tampons or pads but he would also buy you some of your favourite snacks. Maybe he would even get you a nicely smelling candle or a face mask or something like that, because he knows you love them and he just wants to make you feel better.

- Whenever you have cramps, he would bring you painkillers along with a glass of water. Or he would bring you a hot water bottle to put on your stomach. And after a while he would definitely come back to check on you. He would be like "feeling better angel?".

-And he would for sure cuddle with you when you have cramps. He would put his hand on your stomach, underneath your shirt, and he would gently rub it. And the same thing would happen if you two were going to sleep and you were complaining about your cramps. He would spoon you, his hand immediately going to your bare stomach.

- And whenever you cry during your period (you know how them hormones can be, sigh) he would be so sweet. He would let you cry to him about the most ridiculous things, wouldn't ever tell you to stop overreacting or anything like that. He would just listen and hug you and give you kisses. I can imagine him coming home from training, finding you on the couch crying and he is so concerned, immediately sinks to his knees in front of you and asks you what's wrong. And when you tell him what you are crying about he just takes a seat next to you, holds you in his arms and lets you cry, quietly whispering things like "Shh... I know baby, I know" in your ear.

-And when you are feeling irritated or angry he would be so understanding. He wouldn't take it to heart and then when you try to apologize to him he'd be like "It's okay sweet girl, you have a right to be that way". He would definitely handle all the moodswings.

-And I feel like he would love to make you laugh, when he knows that you are feeling sad or you are just in pain. So maybe he would tell you some funny stories from his training when he gets back home or just random goofy jokes.

-But also I think he wouldn't be too all over you and he would understand that sometimes you just need your space and you just want to lay in bed alone. I think he would just very often ask what he can do for you.

-I feel like knowing that you are on your period makes him want to take care of you even more than he already does on a daily basis. He would maybe cook dinner for you after you had a long day, telling you to go and change into something comfortable. And he would even clean up on his own after you two ate, encouraging you to just rest. He would just want to make things as easy for you as it's possible. And maybe on like a Sunday morning (when you don't necessarily have anywhere to go to, but still have to get some things done), he would tell you to sleep in, while he would get up and take care of things that need to be taken care of.

- You know those days when you're on your period and you just feel super ugly? He's definitely not having any of that and he would keep telling you that you're the prettiest girl he has ever laid his eyes on.

-Okay, let's be honest we are all wondering if Ruben would be up for period sex. And I think he 100% would. He's a grown man, he's not getting grossed out by a little bit of blood. He would just put a towel underneath your hips and tell you not to worry about anything. And if maybe you were a little bit squeamish about it at first he would just fuck you in the shower. But I feel like he would take things rather slow and be very gentle when you are on your period. And for sure a lot of praising. Just him telling you how good you feel, how pretty you look with his cock stuffed inside of you and how well you are taking it. And if you ever got kind of embarrassed after or maybe he notices your red face, or that you were trying to hide your face from him, he would just kiss your temple and reassure you how much he enjoyed what you two just did and that there is no need to ever be emberresed in front of him. But overall, he just wants to make his girl feel good.

Feel free to share your opinions with me! 💕 Sending you all so much love ❤

#ruben dias #footballer imagine #footballer x reader #footballer x you #ruben dias blurb #ruben dias imagine #ruben dias smut #footballer blurb #footballer smut #footballer x y/n #footballer headcanons #ruben dias headcanons #footballer headcanon #ruben dias headcanon #ruben dias fluff #footballer fluff #ruben dias x you #ruben dias x y/n #ruben dias x reader

[landerspaul]

you guys for real? Picking your nose is fucking gross and you still stan this man??????????

Anon, look what you have done! Are you happy now? 😒

Paul was just sharing his hygiene routine with us! There was no need for you to be such a meanie-bo-beenie about it! 🙄 I don't know about you, but hygiene is important to Rammstein and in fact they set a good example for all of us!

General personal hygiene primarily includes showering (or bathing). 🛁

Good oral hygiene affects the health of the entire body. If harmful bacteria are not removed from the oral flora, they enter the bloodstream and promote disease. So it's essential that you do this on a daily basis. 👄 🦷 😬 💨

Cleansing your facial skin is part of the daily skincare routine. Residual make-up and dirt particles can favour impure skin with inflammation in the form of blackheads and pimples. 🧼

Regular and correct intimate hygiene is crucial so that you feel fresh and comfortable and can prevent skin irritation. 💦 Rinsing the genital area with water will suffice. Alternatively, use a mild, unscented soap. 🧴

Also, the body and skin are dehydrated due to sweating and should therefore be provided with plenty of moisture after cleansing. 💧

So you see Anon, they're everything but gross! They're just a bunch of super wholesome men who help each other with their hygiene routines! ✨

#näd replies #rammstein #paul landers #till lindemann #richard kruspe #christoph schneider #flake lorenz #oliver riedel

[manicplank]

Hygiene Headcanons

Peppino: Probably not the cleanest guy. Goes like 3 days without a shower usually. When he's depressed, it's understandably longer. Greasy, kind of a gross guy. Usually smells like pizza. Might smell lightly of a cologne since he typically wears deodorant.

Gustavo: Showers daily or every other day. He's the type of guy to wash behind his ears. Simple guy. Clean guy. Good guy.

BONUS Brick: Does not like the bath. Gustavo has to wrestle him to get him in the tub. Once he's in the tub, though, he loves playing in the water.

Mr. Stick: Showers every other day unless he's been sweaty (which isn't often bc he doesn't necessarily exercise). Puts a dab of cologne on his neck every morning.

Pepperman: Usually showers daily since he's covered in paint by the end. Doesn't technically have to use soap but probably uses a 3-in-1 shampoo-conditioner-body wash-motor oil-antifreeze. Wants to smell like AXE but ends up still smelling like a pepper (duh).

The Vigilante: Okok hear me out on this one. Based on his boss portrait, since he's covered in stickers or paper or debris or whatever tf it is, I feel like he maaaybe isn't the cleanest guy. Cowboys aren't the cleanest. As a horse girl, I can confirm, they're kinda dirty. He figures he's gonna get dirty on the farm, anyways. So he probably showers like every 3 or 4 days. Sorry, Vigi stans. Farm boys are a little gross.

The Noise: Usually every other day but it varies. If he's extra sweaty from being a goofball in a costume, he'll shower daily. If he doesn't shower, he at least washes his face. "Gotta keep that face clean for T.V.!" Might go a few days without showering if he's depressed. Hates getting in and out of the shower, but once he's in, he showers until the hot water runs out. No longer allowed to take bubble baths after he filled the entire bathroom with bubbles. (However, he wasn't this cleanly before he met Noisette. He cleaned up better when they started dating as to not scare her away, but beforehand, he was uh... not the cleanest.)

Noisette: CLEANEST PERSON IN THE TOWER. Showers daily. Shampoo, conditioner, nice scented body wash. Lotions her entire self once she's out. She washes everything from behind her ears to between her toes. Probably gets manicures and pedicures. Does Noise's nails, too. Wears a light amount of perfume. Moisturizes her face. Just a clean little lady. Smells like flowers or coffee depending on whether or not she worked in the cafe that day. Much like Noise, she also showers until the hot water runs out. Their water bill is off the charts, but he pays the bills sooo. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Fake Peppino: A lot like Brick, it's a battle to get him in the bath or shower. He used to be easier, but he once pulled the drain plug while in the bath and got sucked down. Poor baby was terrified. Pizzahead had to dig him out of the pipes. He now has to be supervised when in the bath, which is fine since his clothes are technically part of his body. Washing him usually makes him a little less goopy and gets rid of all the dirt that sticks to him. Prefers baths. Will stay in there until he melts. (See; frog) Then it's a battle to get him out.

Pizzaface: Despite being a machine, he's waterproofed. Relatively clean considering he was so RUDELY walked in on by Peppino before the boss fight.

Pizzahead: Second cleanest person in the tower! Showers daily but uses unscented soap. Weird that a pizza can shower, but if he gets too greasy, he gets slippery and gross. Once he's clean, he slathers himself in preservatives to stay looking young and pristine.

Pillar John: Cleans up every now and again to get the dust and dirt off. Doesn't take long. I mean, he's made of rock. Rocks don't really shower.

Gerome: LOVES long hot baths. Might even take a bubble bath. Will stay in there for hours. He even fell asleep in there once. Almost drowned. Doesn't really smell like anything since he is also made of rock.

#pizza tower #noise #the noise #headcanon #pizzahead #noisette #peppino #peppino spaghetti #fake peppino #gustavo #pizza tower gerome #pizza tower gustavo #pillar john #pizzaface #pepperman #the vigilante #brick the rat #mr. stick

[capitaletele]

Baths!

I am obsessed with the idea of baths. (Like, I literally wrote my longest and most involved Starmania fic as a pretext to get Cristal and Johnny in a bathtub.)

But since there are NEVER ENOUGH BATHS, here's some more, in a form that's too disjointed to make it to AO3 for the moment:

I like the idea that there's no running water in the tunnels ("ça c'est la seule chose qu'on a pas") or at least, not enough to go around. In any case, the Zonards definitely don't have access to like, regular showers.

But there are public baths, and so the squad makes a trip after hours like three times a week to one of them for a shower, and sometimes when they have more time a full scrub and soak, and in the meantime they use something else at the hangar for their daily ablutions (or don't, Johnny is a dirty rat boy who probably juste dunks his head in freezing rain water in a bucket once a week and we like that about him.)

But when Cristal joins the gang, somehow she doesn't find out about the baths trips. Maybe Johnny is called away just after he brings her to the hangar, and he tells one of the Etoiles Noires, like "Hey, you get her settled around here, okay?" but the Etoiles Noires decide not to tell Cristal, sort of as a hazing thing -- they can't be thrilled about her arrival, it's their way to make sure she won't stay too long.

Or perhaps Sadia makes a point to keep it from Cristal, thinking it'll discourage her and she'll run off as soon as she's experienced the smallest inconvenience.

So anyway, the only thing Cristal sees in terms of hygiene is everyone chewing toothpaste tablets and splashing themselves with water from a rusty pipe once in a while and she figures, fine, alright, she knew they did things differently in the tunnels, she can tough it out. She doesn't really understand how they're not all *more gross* than they look, or how they can keep their hair as clean as it (mostly) is with the way she sees them deal with it, but she puts it down to experience, and anyway it's not like she can ask them why they don't all smell rank. (It's not like Johnny seems to mind that she's a bit funkier than she's used to these days.)

But it does wear on her anyway, never feeling clean, being self-conscious about how she looks and smells. After like 10 days or so, Johnny comes back from somewhere and finds her soaking wet, teeth chattering, lips blue, as she tries to wash herself with buckets and a trickle of water that's coming from a hose, and he's like, "Wow, you really hate the baths that much?"

And Cristal goes still, like, "Wait, BATHS??" and they figure the thing out.

Johnny noticed she never went with the others on their excursions but he figured she was just shy or uncomfortable being naked in front of relative strangers, or that she was too afraid someone would recognize her, or that her standards were too high and she thought it would be too gross there or something. (Which seemed strange to him because it's not like she's complained about any other aspect of her new life, but who knows... Sometimes people are weird about this kind of stuff. He has his own issues about the baths so he wasn't about to ask.)

So anyway, Johnny goes a little nuts when he finds out his Etoiles Noires did Cristal so dirty (lol, get it?) and summons them to get to the bottom of it. Everyone is very sorry because honestly, Cristal isn't nearly as bad as they thought she would be, but it got just a bit too awkward to bring it up now that they'd lied to her for a while... So anyway, they apologize, and Johnny commands the most remorseful of them to take Cristal to their usual baths once night falls and stand watch outside while she does her thing, to make extra sure no one else comes in or Sadia doesn't try to mess with her again. (He can't go because he's too busy doing... something else. This is why this story is not a real fic, lol.)

And so Cristal goes to the baths with Ruby the Etoile Noire who lends her her kit and shows her how to use the communal showers and then how to turn on the steam room and where the little pool is for afterwards, and Cristal is able to take an actual warm shower for the first time in like 10 days, and the water pressure isn't amazing, and calling the temperature "hot" would be pushing it -- this is still in the worst part of the tunnels, after all -- but it feels like HEAVEN. She washes her hair like three times in a row.

And then she goes into the steam room, and down into the tiny little pool thing that's just big enough for her to let herself float in, and she revels in the privacy and quiet of it -- it's the first time she's been truly alone since she went down into the tunnels on that fateful Friday afternoon. Her whole body goes lax. The only thing missing is...

And then, of course, Johnny shows up!

Maybe he's actually deathly afraid of water and that's why he never goes usually -- maybe he has some water-related trauma, maybe like, his mother drowned, or tried to drown him in an access of madness. Or maybe on the contrary his mother used to bring him to baths just like this one, and the memory is too painful now, idk. In any case, he never ever goes, but he wanted to make sure Cristal was okay, so he comes in to check on her.

And she convinces him to join her, which is not too hard probably because 1) NAKED and 2) ALONE. She brings him back to the showers and "helps" him "wash" until he's all clean and pink (and desperate) and then they make good use of every horizontal (and vertical) surface in the joint (and rinse everything real well afterwards, they're not savages) and then they hang out in the pool and get to touch lazily and cuddle and talk in half-whispers even though they've got more privacy than ever before.

Eventually though they have to get out because the baths are about to open to the public again and they have to get Cristal back to the hangar before she gets spotted, but after that they make a habit of it -- Cristal joins the Etoiles Noires every time they go in a group, and once a week she stays behind and Johnny joins her and they have a little date night.

(And of course because I'm me, I can't help but think about After, once they've run away somewhere together. Maybe they're in the East, and they've also got a huge public bathing culture, and once in a while at night Johnny picks the locks and they slip in and relive their wild hangar days.)

💧🚿 the end 🚿💧

#johnny rockfort x cristal #johnny rockfort #cristal #not!fic #starmania fic

[shallowseeker]

Was it you that pointed out that Dean gets showered with hate for allowing Jack to make himself into a bomb, when in season 11 his entire family was willing to let him do the same? I've been thinking about this a lot...

Sorry, not me. But I do talk about this and other Jack stuff in some of my ramblings about #SPN parenting, and I believe @jackgirlbluntrotation and I batted the tragedy of the Jack-and-Dean soul bomb parallel back-and-forth a few times, so you could look there as well.

But to get what what I think you're getting at, I think yes: Dean, is judged more harshly for this. I have some vague ideas why below. And I can't answer without being longwinded about all of it, and because I am NOT feeling very cohesive this week, behind the cut it goes...

Not meta, just random thoughts... I tried to edit it into something that made points. But I couldn't. Sorry. I'll try to revisit it later. This is like...three separate unrelated topics.

Sam & Cas + violence + getting onboard with Dean's sacrifice:

Sam and Cas do not object to Dean becoming a live bomb in season 11 to serve God's Big Kill-Amara-Cause. I haven't seen this held against Cas or Sam, and certainly not as a moral transgression. (This is not a hit piece against Sam or Cas. It's just a note that they're a little differently tied up with the idea of war-as-sacrifice.)

Furthermore, when talking about child sacrifice, I don't typically see a lot of Emma or Oskar or even Jane the Nephilim crop up in conversation, and when it does, people sometimes get annoyed about it ("I just don't care about them that much.") I do occasionally see Cas re:Jessie the Antichrist and May Sunder. Occasionally I see Sam:Emma. But hardly ever Oskar or Jane. But Dean is the caretaker. He's not supposed to cross this line of killing complete innocents. Also, as "parent," he has an obligation to Jack that adds another layer.

My point is...and I'm not certain about this...but I suspect that if Dean had overseen any of these above murders, it would be a much more daily appearance on the dash, especially Jane and Oskar, who were completely innocent.

Of note, re:Oskar.. Sam and Cas are The Two Men post-Lucifer that Rowena identifies as Love Matches. (She reserves her ire and hatred re:Oskar for scapegoat child, Crowley.) To Rowena, maybe even to the audience(?), the violence of Sam and Cas is expected, maybe even sexy? Maybe even the mark of a strong protector. Who knows? All I know is that we politely look the other way. And so does Rowena...

And I'm not trying to keep score in a murder show. Just...yeah. Something about this is tied up with Dean's role as heart/hearth/caretaker, I think. Maybe. Also parental roles. But that's always going to be conjecture. Let's look at more interesting stuff, which is how family sacrifice gets passed around:

Dean + sacrificial bomb

Dean -> The bomb sacrifice is framed as Dean's choice, even though it is just as coerced as what we see in season 15 with Jack. To make Dean's bomb even uglier, the reason Dean is the bomb in the first place is part-strategy, part-gross. "The enemy is sexually attracted to you, ergo, you can get closer to her." Dean is, once again, rendered as sexual (?) bait.

Cas -> Cas is the one who came up with the idea of the soul bomb, but he immediately shows regret and offers to die with Dean. Which releases the tension of how awful it is that he doesn't object... After this, Cas is forevermore anguished at the thought of sacrificing Dean and in season 14, he completely Objects to Dean's Suicide as Solution, even when solider mode!Jack suggests it. Of note, it may also be that in season 11, Cas put up a strong front about sacrificing for the God partially because Chuck was present(?)

Sam -> We are sympathetic to the idea of Sam being "okay" with sacrificing Dean because, at the start of season 12, we-the-audience are shown Sam's guilt over it, and that eases the narrative tension of how horrific it is.

Maybe the guilt over everything wrought in season 10 is what makes Sam and Cas more willing to not object to the bomb in season 11... But overall, for the audience, Sam and Cas's emotions about it make us more likely to look upon the situation favorably. Plus, neither of them is Dean's "parent." We'd be much harsher if John came up with the bomb idea, or Mary for that matter.

To reiterate, no one is responsible, exactly. I'm really just bringing it up as a point of contrast. Each character's relationship to war swings like a pendulum and is greatly affected by their psychological-wounds-of-the-moment. They all tend to swing the extremes, from Apple Pie Escapism to Holy Cause to Black-and-White Rules, etc. (And no one, save Metatron, has the proper mindset in season 11 with regards to war. And he gets killed for his trouble, too...)

Dean + Ma'lak box + "Jack iSn'T fAmiLy"

Notably, in season 14, Sam and Cas flipflop on the idea of sacrificing family. They strongly object to Dean climbing into the Ma'lak box--a stark and welcome contrast to season 11's soul bomb.

Of note, sacrifice MUST BE a complicated topic for Dean here... When you look at the two sacrifices, in Dean's mind, they were collectively rewarded for his hero's sacrifice/soul bomb (the return of Mary) but punished for his "selfish" non-sacrifice/Ma'lak box (the loss of Jack's "personhood" + Mary's death). So yeah, sacrifice is complicated topic. It never emotionally feels like the right thing, but in media and religion and hero stories, it's the heroic thing.

Finally, Jack's bomb is also complicated by the "Jack isn't family" of it all. Dean has more trouble sacrificing and walking away from "family," whereas Sam n' Cas, were always more pragmatic commanders by nature, and have seemed, at least from a distance, way more comfortable sacrificing their (military) family members (See: Balthazar, Rowena, etc). Thus, Dean sunders Jack from family role in order to make the loss more tolerable. It's awful! But very real.

Honestly, I think it gets at the heart of the matter that they're all soldiers struggling with soldier relationships to Cause, especially Dean. The longer Dean fights, the more he becomes like season 4 Cas or AU Earth Michael in terms of feeling insecure in his wayfinding.

The grayer morality gets, the more he can feel the tension of his own wrongdoing and the less "real" everything all feels (derealization/depersonalization). The soul bomb parallel plays into what they're ALL struggling with in season 15--purpose. Purpose/meaning is The Answer to AU Michael (and Chuck's) nihilism/nothing matters theme. But they don't even know what's real anymore.

The war and the horror and the heartbreak has dissolved all the meaning.

That plays into what each of them is struggling with in the terminal seasons. Their shadow selves and their best selves.

Sam - "Martyrdom Versus Heroism" -> You and you alone can do it / Save the world / I won't break your independence even when your safety is at stake / Saving the world at the expense of your own life is brave and noble and heroic -> (Sam's tentative answer to that problem: "I still think it's wrong, though.") He seems to realize, somewhere in there, that restricting power can be protective; that disinhibition of all boundaries doesn't look so great from the other side of parenting. He has an "aha!" moment where he understands Dean's relationship to him re:the complex nature of protection. Yet, Sam's eureka moments don't quite hit. It needs more time to resolve, possibly in the form of parenting his son, Dean, IMHO.

Cas - "Destiny Versus Genuine Hope for the Future" -> Serve the right cause and even heinous actions take on noble meaning / Live up to the big destiny / Be the God I couldn't be / If you're alive, then your life has to Mean Something Big and Awesome / Wield the totalitarian power the right way, in My Image and in Your Mother's Image and in My Chosen Family's Image, and bring the universe to its feet -> (Cas's tentative answer to the problem: "We don't love you because you're part of some grand design. We love you for being you." Cas squeezes in a late "aha!" moment only after the revelation of Jack's incoming second death. Cas rediscovers his faith, but it takes him awhile to have faith in the Small Things, not just the Big Things. Having faith in the future is healthy. Having faith in predestination is not. Like Sam, Cas is not quite given enough room to resolve, but his gets the closest of the main three.

Dean - "The Law of Purgatory Absolutes Versus the Complicated Gray of the Real World / Nothing matters I don't matter" -> Kill the right enemy and the law becomes just / "My life's work is a hoax" / I've been burying my anger all my life and it's finally spilled out like angry Leviathan chompin' at the bit for blood / So, get revenge / Take out the threat / Serve the ugly cause at the cost of our own lives so others can be happy / We are already ruined heroes / We don't matter / Save our loved ones (Dean's tentative answer: "The ultimate killer is not who I am." ) Like the other two, Dean never quite resolves. It would need another good one or two seasons to do so. The Winchesters actually helps with the above! He specifically talked about it in 1x12: The Tears of Clown. However, in SPN Prime he at least doesn't seem to be languishing in a complete loss of hope, which is one positive way to spin the finale. Nor is he switching to a complete pacifism at the expense of the lives of the two Crowther boys they wind up saving. He's not running away/escaping. He's really trying.

And finally... Through all this, there is also the parallel of giving up ("sacrificing") your son to War or to God's Cause, so that you can finally retire, which is the entire Ugly Thing with War as a Concept. Non-fighters (typically symbolic mothers & daughters) + aging fathers are sold the lie that they must give up sons to the Cause in order to preserve and enjoy Freedom (which is WHY Jack's AU Earth nightmares are directly juxtaposed with Dean's dreams of Hawaiian shirts and beaches in 13x23).

Always peace OR freedom, never peace AND freedom.

More than any other character, Jack is symbolic son. He is treated as Heir to his fathers' burdens and responsibilities. And the burden is too heavy.💔

One last set of parallels, then, with Jack AS each main character's Symbolic Fate:

Jack as doomed child (Sam; Boy-king/gold)

Like Sam at various points, Jack becomes the cursed child, kneeling to accept his execution for the crime of "murdering" his own mother.

It's the Sacred Executioner's suicide, too, because this is truly, as Cain said, "The murder that Dean would (literally) not survive." Like with Sam, Dean balks at the order from the father-God and throws the gun away. Tragically, Dean is excommunicated and tossed into a literal headstone, a motif for his eventual Death in the story. Jack dies. Dean "dies."

Sam wounds God in the shoulder and suffers a left shoulder / heart connection with God. For a time, this "infects" Chuck with hope.

Jack as tool of war / blunt instrument / bomb (Dean; Death/myrrh)

When Jack takes the rib-bomb, he becomes Dean from season 11. He feels "unworthy," so he "might as well be the hero / blow himself up to ensure the happiness of others."

The would-be victims and civilians even thank him for it. As Dean told Death, "I don't matter." Heroes matter only so much as their sacrifices are worth.

Also, in comparison to Sam, Jack is fundamentally WAR SON. Whereas Dean was love-offering-object-sacrifice chosen by Amara's hunger, Jack is simply "Simba." He is heir to the burden of Heavenly hero by birthright, outranking Sam and Dean in terms of hierarchy.

Furthermore, Jack is not Earth-son; he's a Heaven-son (the "son" to Sam's earth-son "daughter" role here...I hesitate to use gendered language, but it's about the hierarchy an the expectations of War as a Concept. Jack outranks Sam in terms of hierarchal expectations).

It's also why it's a rib that is blowing up Jack. The rib also calls to mind "Mother," or the simpler, non-gendered poetic: "Earth," as Jack is literally being sacrificed by Earth.

Like with Dean's soul-bomb, Jack survives the lighting of the fuse. Dean survives by getting defused, and Jack survives by detonating in The Empty.

Paralleling the Equalizer confrontation, Death tries to take Jack anyway, the way God took him even when he survived his initial Moriah trial. This time, it's Dean who takes action. He wounds Death with her own scythe, in the shoulder, just as Sam injured God's shoulder.

Jack "escapes" bomb death and Death!Billie, and Dean sets into motion the death of Death!Billie. (Sam's enemy is Chuck!prime and Dean's enemy is Death.)

Jack as God (Cas; God-king/frankincense)

Finally, when he takes God's power, Jack accomplishes what Castiel could not.

This is the final destiny that Jack seems unable to escape--"eating" up all the power and becoming more God than God.

Despite Cas's change of heart in the final episodes, it is ultimately Castiel's burden of Being God and the expectation of Heavenly destiny that Jack inherits when he ascends.

Since during the Equalizer confrontation, Sam wounded God, and with the rib-bomb confrontation, Dean fatally wounded Death, the narrative parallel for Cas here would be to fatally wound or seriously injure powered up!Chuck-mara. But instead, he sacrifices himself for love. (I saw a meta about SPN being a battle royale between Chuck and Cas...this lends some WEIGHT to that!)

In the final confrontation, Cas is absent (dead!KIA in this case), as Cas tends to be. (It's one of his absent!father motifs.) So Jack, as Heavenly son in terms of rank, has to stand-in for Cas, and the price is TOO HIGH. :(

It's a terrible fate. Even when Jack wins, he loses. He becomes nothing and everything.

Sorry. sorry. That was a lot. I was stuck at medical facility, so.

#spn + the three wisemen #asks #and stuff you didn't ask FOR #in MY DEFENSE #i'm dying inside #kinda #so i ramble

[naamahdarling]

TMI QUESTION FOR THOSE OF YALL WHO DEAL WITH CHAFING AND IRRITATION IN PERSONAL AREAS.

I mention my increasing chonkiness but there is no negative talk, no numbers. Keeping it loving in here.

Poop mention. Just personal hygiene stuff in general.

I'm having really annoying inner thigh chafing, and also rubbing in my bikini line. I have gained weight and I am finding it increasingly harder to keep my inner thighs and bikini line dry.

I shower just about daily and additionally bathe the area after pooping with plain water because my ass must be clean at all times, so that means a lot of water in the area. I dry as best I can, I wear underwear that does its best to keep it dry, but still: THE DAMP AND THE RUBBING.

HOW do y'all deal with this? Real talk!

I have sensitive skin and break out with infections if I don't avoid scented products/detergents/soaps, and am seeking products that will help the chafing and won't lead to irritation of my vulva or lead to infections as it inevitably gets spread around a bit. It's hard to dust just your thigh crease without dusting the whole crotch.

Like, grossness ahead, but I was feeling the approach of ye olde candidiasis last week and was reversing it successfully without medication, but one application of corn starch made it explode. In retrospect, starch is a sugar. Yeast eats sugar. This may not have been a brilliant choice. But all the powders I can find are cornstarch based and/or scented all to fuck.

Help me, friends. What can I use on my outer bits and inner thighs that won't increase The Miseries? I no longer wish to experience this.

[disaster-demon]

Also I'm finally getting off my arse and showering today which is no mean feat cause this fibro flare is kicking me up the butt so hard that I've not felt able to shower or bathe in like three days. I haven't washed my hair in over a week :( I hate that I feel so gross but between my pain and back and fibro I feell like I should jsjt be gentle with myself cos it hurts no one else if I don't shower, like. I don't smell or anything. The only thing that's bad is my dry skin lmao. Everything else is like. Okay to wait on, right?

I definitely feel like the world puts too much emphasis on showering daily or whatever esp for disabled and chronically ill people. Ifs jsut not possible for most of us for whatever reason be it care arrangements, pain, fatigue, etc. And tbh I'm sick of people calling people like me gross bc they refuse to try and understand my pov.

[k--havok]

@starlit-hopes-and-dreams suggested I share my cat-related horror stories that have scarred me for years to the point that, to this day, I refuse to own a cat.

I have 2 stories, one a little longer than the other.

TW: My stories contain the neglect of cats (and a beta fish), so if you're sensitive to that... I suggest not reading further.

--

Story 1

As I mentioned before, I am very sensitive to "cat smell" which is what I have dubbed the ammonia-like stench that seems to permeate most houses and people who have cats. I'm so sensitive to it I can smell it whenever one of my local pet stores has a "caturday"

A person who I was friends with at the time dragged me to one of these caturdays one a day we were planning on hanging out due to her dad randomly deciding they could get a cat.

There was no prep for the house to get a cat. They already owned two senior dogs, one of which was blind, who did not grow up with cats and were never really around cats.

I took her to the pet store after she got some cash from her house and helped her buy all the supplies for said cat... and then she had to actually pick out a cat. She eventually picked up a tabby who did not like being put in the cardboard carrier. Driving her and the cat home nearly gave me a heart attack I am pretty sure. Especially sine I am very protective regarding my car and did not want the cat to bust out and possibly hurt itself, us, and my seats. There was also the cat-smell. Which stayed in the car for several days after this trip. Eesh.

Anyways, after that kerfuffle I let her get settled with her new pet... feeling a bit worried for the cat. This girl was well-known to forget to feed her beta fish for weeks on end. Why her parents decided she could get a cat... I do not know.

This cat made multiple escape attempts, which was not hard as they had a doggy door for the two senior dogs.

As bad as the cat escaping was, its litter box conditions were bad. See, she did not clean it all the time (even tho she promised her parents she would) and they made her move it out of the laundry room (which kinda makes sense for a litter box) into her carpeted room. Next to her bed.

I visited her one night and her room stank. I could barely breathe. Not only that but litter was everywhere. In the carpet. On the TV stand. Even in the bed. I decided to go sleep on the couch as I could not stand how nasty everything was. And when I got home I washed my clothes and took the longest shower I could. My clothes were permeated with cat-smell and I had to wash them twice to get it out.

I fell out of friendship with this person due to how... childish she was. When all this was taking place, she was like. 22 years old. Her disposition really affected our friendship and it had to end. I don't know what happened to the cat but I do hope it was ok. Despite the gross litter box, and it escaping twice, it wasn't in any danger. It was chunky, the dogs ignored it, and the parents seemed to be keeping an eye on it.

I will note, before I go to the next story, one other incident. She kept buying like... Iams or purina or whatever. And listen, I don't know much about cat food, but I do know dog food and what shitty dog food looks like. And it was shitty cat food I'm pretty sure. Well the cat kept getting sick so she took it to the vet and long story short she had to change to a different food that actually had nutrients in it. And she bitched about how the new food cost more. She bitched about this constantly.

And she was not destitute! She worked a full-time job and the majority of her budget was spent on fast food daily and clothes. She did buy the new food but boy she would not shut up about how much she did not want to. Like... girl having to pay for a pet is like. Pet Owning 101.

Anyways.

Story 2

This one is a little... sadder. I had a friend who had two cats that he got to help with his depression and to make his apartment feel less lonely when he was kicked out of his parent's house. And in the beginning years the cats were very well taken care of.

But then the pandemic hit. Personal life and mental illness hit him. And his life was not the same.

His now-wife's grandfather passed away suddenly and he had to help her and her family drive across the country to attend the funeral. Her parents are very cheap and did not want to get plane tickets, even tho the drive would be over 20 hours. On top of that, his wife cannot drive, so he also went to make sure they got up there safe and could switch around drivers since they were going to drive straight up there with no overnight stops.

They would be gone for at least a week, maybe more, so he asked me and my partner to watch the cats for him. I went in the evenings and my partner went in the mornings.

Now the last I saw this apartment it was a little messy but nothing worse for wear. When I entered after years of not visiting due to the pandemic... holy hell. The cat-smell hit me before I even opened the door. I could smell it standing on the other side.

And... god. It was a hoard home. That could not be denied. Things were everywhere. Rotting food in the kitchen. Clothes and trash piled up in corners and all over the floor. And worse, the floor was carpet.

He, like my friend in story 1, kept the litter box on carpet. Except this litter box was an open one with no cover. And the cats were not the most well behaved and liked to kick the litter out. Litter was all over the floor. And so was poop. Cat turds were everywhere, some just sitting there, some smushed into the carpet. And speaking of the carpet... he fed the cats both wet and dry food. The wet food he did not put in a bowl. He just peeled back the little containers and set them on the carpet. And the cats would knock over the containers, the wet food spilling out, and would smush it into the carpet as well as they ate it. The entire carpet was brown rather than beige and crusty as well.

The dry food went into a flat, oval-shaped dish. When I first went to feed them, I picked up the dish and looked for a trashcan to dump out the old food. Well my friend left his trash can full. And he had no trash bags. So I had to go get trashbags. And when I did go to dump out the old food... only part of it came out. Half of the food was completely crusted to the bottom. I went to find a papertowel to scoop it out. No paper towels. So another trip to the store.

I could not get the food out. It was crusted so badly that it would need to be deep cleaned. But... I think ya'll get the picture. No dish soap.

Now, another part of this story is how skittish these cats were. They would flee like cockroaches as soon as I entered the apartment. So I decided to Pavlov' them. They came whenever I shook their treat can, so I made an effort to give them treats whenever I first entered the apartment, whenever they came up to me willingly, and whenever I left. The first cat only took 2 days to catch on. She'd be meowing at the door for treats as soon as she heard me unlocking the door. The second took almost all week, but by the end of it, I could pet both of them and have them come up to me sans-treats.

Now the second cat, when he finally came up to me, I realized he had some matted fur. Both these cats were long-haired. And his matted fur was around the neck area. I looked for a brush and... okay, yeah ya'll know what is coming next.

Well, I fed him treats, and using my fingers, I did my best to gently brush out his fur. I couldn't get the entire knot out, but I did manage to smooth his fur out somewhat.

When my friend got back, I gave him an earful about brushing the cats fur. He said the male cat did not like his fur being brushed. I told him to buckle up butter cup cause it still needs to be done even if the cat did not like it. He had no answer regarding the full litter box he left me and my partner nor the food crust or anything else. His now-wife agreed with me on the state of the apartment and said she'd been bugging him about everything but... yeesh.

Well, he moved from there and I briefly visited his new place. In the new place, the cats are only allowed in one of the bedrooms. Altho he had only lived there for a month, the cat-smell punched me yet again.

There was no poop in the carpet, but there was litter and wet cat food already starting to crust.

Besides the fur and gross living conditions, the cats seemed fine. Claws weren't overgrown, healthy weight, normal behavior (even tho they were skittish).

I did not really know what to do in such a situation. I just let him know how I felt and chewed him out. He said he would start cleaning out their bowls better, claimed he cleaned the litter box every other day (lies but I don't own cats... and maybe his do poop that much....), and promised to start brushing out their fur. He really does love his cats, but I also know he is not taking care of them, or himself, as well as he should. As gross as the living situation was, he was also living in that mess too. But its still incredibly sad. I thought about calling animal control or some society to take a look at the situation, but sadly, there are already too many animals out there in foster homes. And besides the living conditions, the cats were fine. Up to date on all shots and everything. Unless they were physically being harmed or had signs of neglect minus some knotted fur (like being underweight or had wounds), I figured not much would be done.

Either way, I did what I could. I avoid this friend a lot now. And furthermore, the second situation is what scarred me. I cannot overstate how disgusted I was. To this day, I do not own a cat. And I cannot see myself owning one anytime in the near future either.

#shutuplanx #about me #anti cats #but not really #tw cat neglect #long post

[depression-culture-is]

Depression culture is giving a blank stare at ppl that they think they are special for hating a popular character that happens to have canonically depression ( Stan Marsh, Dazai osamu,etc) and mock their depression traits like this: "I know their hair is greasy 🤪🥳", " I know they don't shower why u all crushing on them (dazai)", "they stinky".

then they said "I don't like the character I don't get the hype, it's for the girlies who romanticize it, he is canonically doesn't shower, he would be stinky and not attractive", even when the character are confirmed to be attractive (Dazai) or they are considered cute for other ppl w/ the same age as them in their universe (Stan)

like I get they dislike said character and get annoyed at said character,and how that fanbase romanticized their mentall illness ? But also it feels like they are mocking depression traits more than showing the reality of it just bc the character annoys them and the fanbase annoys them??

Yes, depression is hell. It makes u procastinate, feel worthless even when things don't go ur way, it causes u lack or energy to do get ur shit done, you barely have strenght to wake up,can't do self care, eat too much or nothing.

But that doesn't mean every person w/ the depression acts the same and don't do self care. some of us, try to do it, some of us do some stuff like showering but not brushing teeth, not everyone acts in the same way.

but some of those ppl implied ppl w/ depression can't be attractive, god forbade us to be good looking bc we are depressed??

Be fucking for real.

I'm not cancelling people before you all jumped saying shit like " ppl this day so pressed" I'm just ranting something that annoys me.

I don't know if u get my point, if u would like to give ur opinion.

i agree. but, i mean, lack of self care doesn't even inherently equal unattractiveness. you can not brush your teeth or not shower daily or even weekly and still be an attractive person. same goes for people who overeat or don't eat at all, those who can't get out of bed in the mornings, those who's house is a mess because they can't get out of their own way. at least, that's how i see it.

people definitely need to take a look at how their behaviour and words might affect those who do the same things as those "unattractive" characters. all you're proving by saying that they're stinky and gross and unattractive, is that the people who do those things in real life are the same.

#depression culture #tw.rant

[survey--s]

691.

Do you like coffee? Yep, I need my twice-daily cup. Do your eyes ever twitch? Only when I'm really tired or concentrating really hard on something. Do you get excited when you get something in the mail that isn’t a bill? I never get anything in the mail that I haven't ordered myself, but yeah, I still get excited when my stuff arrives. What was the last thing you wrote by hand? Christmas cards.

Why did you last feel exhausted? I had a long day yesterday and I'm due my period which always makes me feel absolutely wrecked. I slept amazingly well last night though, haha.

Have you ever used emotional blackmail to get your own way? Sure. I think everyone has at some point, honestly. Emotional blackmail can be anything from turning on the tears. Has anybody ever used emotional blackmail on you? Yes. Assuming you have any, is your hair soft today? It's still damp from my shower but yes, it does feel soft. Who did you last worry about and why? Ollie. His owner messaged me saying he wasn't right the other night - he was fine when I dropped him off but it still makes me worry. Anyway, he was fine the next day so he must have just been tired. When are you next at work? January 2nd, 2024. I just closed for Christmas yesterday. Do you enjoy your work? I love my job but I was SO in need of a break lol.  Are you currently looking for a new place to live? Nope. When was the last time you ate/drank something gross just to be polite? Yeah, I don't do that. If I don't like something I'll just say it's not to my taste. But I have sensory issues and I would probably vomit if I forced myself to keep going. Can you see any toys from where you’re sat? Two cat toys - one is a feather on a wand thing and the other is a mouse on some string. Last time you heard a growl, who or what did it come from? Archie was growling in his sleep this morning. He always does when he's having a really vivid dream, ha. Does it bother you when you forget something that you should know? Sure, it can be frustrating.  What was the last thing you put off doing? Cleaning my car. I was going to do it yesterday but someone was parked outside so I couldn't get the power to reach and yeah, I just can't be bothered today lol. When did you last make up a baby’s bottle? Never. What was the last thing you cooked? I had spiced Tuscan bean soup for lunch. Do you eat your dinner at a dining table, coffee table or just off your lap? It depends on what I'm eating. If it's a sandwich or something I'll just eat off my lap, but if it's soup or something like a roast then I'll eat at the table. When did you last see the sea? Yesterday. I live two minutes drive from the sea. Which would you prefer as a view; mountains or the sea? We have both. I think if I had to pick between them I'd go with the sea, though. Do you have a mouse for your laptop? (Assuming you have a laptop) No. Do you apologise a lot? Not really. I actually find it quite hard to say sorry. Do you have any framed black & white photos in your home? Who are they of? We do not.

#survey #surveys