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letmetellyouaboutmyfeels · 2 years

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Today I’ll try to cure myself rereading some of your ff, because I’m really sad, I feel a little like when they killed Arthur on Christmas’s Eve. I can’t think about Eddie “the 118 is the family we chose” Diaz leaving that family

I'm so sorry that you're sad, nonny, and I'm glad that my fanfic can help. But I hope that my following words will reassure you - if they don't and you're still upset, may I kindly suggest taking a break from the show? You shouldn't keep investing in something that makes you that sad.

Eddie isn't leaving the show - I'm now 100% sure that was why Ryan posted on Instagram about "stage four Eddie" despite rarely posting about the show. It was to preemptively reassure us that Eddie isn't going anywhere. But he is leaving the 118 - temporarily.

Eddie and Buck's arcs this season have reminded me very strongly of four things.

1. Maddie. Maddie went through a terrible terrible trauma. In response to that trauma, she tried to quit her job at dispatch, and she stalked a woman who also had an abusive husband in a misguided attempt to save that woman. Eddie compares himself sub-textually to Maddie in the balcony season earlier this season (and I think Buck partially realized that in the last moment of this Christmas episode), and all of Eddie's behavior has deeply paralleled Maddie in 3B. So he's not leaving the 118 forever. He just needs to take a break - and also realize how badly he's dealing with his trauma.

Now for the Buddie stuff, since I suspect this is also a concern of yours, and many others, and I think it ties into why Eddie is leaving.

2. Beckett from Castle. In the television show Castle, season three finale, Beckett is shot. We didn't find out until season four if she survived (the worst summer of my tender youth). Season four Beckett spent handling her trauma VERY poorly. Like Eddie, Beckett was a character who focused on what she could control and always assumed she knew best and would lone wolf it and hold her feelings inside, no matter how much damage it did to her. This led her and Castle, her partner, to a breaking point, where they argued and Castle pointed out how he felt shut out by her.

The conclusion to all this? Beckett admitting she was in love with him and kissing him in the season four finale.

3. Booth and Brennan from Bones. In season six, Booth, feeling he cannot have Brennan, dates another woman. This woman reminds me of Taylor in many ways, although a much better done version of Taylor. She's even a reporter, for crying out loud (a war correspondent and investigative journalist but STILL)! Buck's arc this season SCREAMS Booth to me - trying to move on with someone else and forcing pieces to fit when he knows they aren't actually right for each other. Brennan, after much soul-searching, confesses her love to Booth while he is still with this other woman, leading to a lot of pain for both of them - Booth is clearly in agony, knowing he does care for his current girlfriend and refusing to just drop her and hurt her, but also knowing that the woman he truly loves wants him back. Brennan is in agony, repeating through tears, "I'm too late. I know I'm too late."

The conclusion to all this? Booth and his girlfriend break up two-three episodes later and he gets with Brennan.

4. Mulder/Scully and Josh/Donna. So, for those of you who never watched these older shows, these are the slowburn couples from The X Files and The West Wing respectively. The reason I'm bringing them up is that the writers did not intend for them to be couples. You will notice with Castle I said season four finale was when they got together, right? That's four seasons of slowburn from writers who intended the couple to get together from the beginning. Buck and Eddie haven't even hit their four seasons together mark yet, and they were not intended to be a couple.

We can yell about hints all we want, but I'm gonna be honest here - quit the fangirling. Tim and Co did not plan Buddie from day one. Hell they barely knew what to do with Eddie in season two because their original plan for him to be Maddie's love interest was scrapped. It's part of why Eddie in Under Pressure, his first episode, has a very different attitude from Eddie in later episodes. They're still figuring out his character.

What happened was the writers saw the feedback in season two - hence the Instagram and elf shout outs - and decided to test the waters in season three. Notice how the shout-outs stop in that season but the narrative itself becomes more Buddie-focused and binds them together.

We had to wait seven seasons (the entirety of TWW's run) for Josh and Donna to get together. Mulder and Scully didn't kiss until season seven and even then weren't an official couple until season nine. And recall - COVID happened! A PANDEMIC HAPPENED. That fucked up a LOT of stuff.

We need to be patient with writers when they are course-correcting. I don't think they decided to go full-throttle on Buddie until the end of season three, and then the pandemic hit, so that threw things off. This is a slowburn and that means there will be bumps in the road!

All this to say - I understand how emotional we can get with TV shows. Oh, the tears I have shed! The weeping I have done! THE BITTERNESS I HOLD IN MY HEART NOT THAT I'M THINKING ABOUT TIMELESS OR ANYTHING--

*cough*

Sorry, ha ha, old scars and all that.

Anyway, my point is that I understand your frustration and sadness. But I hope the examples above, both in the 911 show itself and in other shows (two of which were on FOX as well), will reassure you that what is happening is ultimately to help Eddie address his trauma and bring him and Buck together as better people ready to be their best with one another.

#mads answers things #please nobody discourse on this post #I am writing this to try and reassure this nonny and hopefully others #I have not the time energy or inclination for a debate

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sadisticsmore · 2 years

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Do you have any headcanons for how Loboto lost his arm?

Hello there Nonny! :D 💖 That is an interesting question because I've thought long-hard about how he could've lost his arm and the correlation to his post-procedure effects as a child. It might be a bit of a mouth full, but hopefully it'll all make sense.

So-

After his transorbital lobotomy in 1963 (9 years old), there was damage to the nerve connection to the brain that allowed his arm to be mobile and coordinated. Because of this, it would conk out, so to speak, and there was nothing he was able to do about it. This was always a frustratingly common occurrence for him and he struggled for a long time. Thankfully as he got older, he learned how to strengthen his arm (physical therapy from the hospital) where he was able to have better mobility and coordination, but the unfortunate part about this was that it does occasionally “kick the bucket” as an adult, but not as regularly as it did before. No other choice to accommodate this continuous issue he had to improvise by using his left arm to write, henceforth becoming ambidextrous.

This just gives an idea that this is one of many initial damages from result of his procedure, especially in the asylum. Time-skip during his criminal career as the Butcher Dentist, his egregious crimes affected so many lives… It comes back full circle to bite him :)

Now for the juicy part that lead to his arm being amputated. Are you ready? I know I am-

Thorney Towers: Home for the Demented was going through pandemonium after the disastrous flooding of the town and that's where all hell broke loose within the asylum. Loboto, unsurprisingly, participated in the riot once he left his god-forsaken confinement to go completely ballistic. Given an opportunity to find and gruesomely kill the head doctor of the institution, Doctor Wolfgang, who did numerous "therapeutic methods" on him during his time as a guinea pig... In his state euphoria, he wasn't entirely paying attention to his surroundings where he should’ve been; there were people trampling one another and clawing their way out to the front doors.

A man that worked in the asylum as security, like everyone else, was trying to escape until he bumped into Loboto...

He recognized him as the infamous Butcher Dentist...

Then…

Nothing is more terrifying than a wrathful father seeking revenge

His entire shoulder bone was completely shattered, which ultimately blocked his blood vessels/previously damaged nerve that resulted in his arm going into necrosis over time... Being stubborn, he reassures the very few concerned inmates of the asylum and Crispin, who he consulted to the most, he was fine. His right arm was oozing from infection and decay; it lead to blood poisoning. Loboto became very ill and he was forced to have his decomposing arm amputated

Oh he did not like that, NOT AT ALL

Loboto, of course, fought like hell to get out of being held down... Unpleasant memories were flashing in his knotted mind of the procedure he endured as a child and the experiments conducted on him against his own will. Practically screeching his head off, thrashing with all his strength despite his disturbingly thin, malnourished physique; he was terrifyingly strong. Sheegor, unfortunately having the most experience in the medical field had to be the one to saw off his arm. Eventually he blacked out from the excruciating pain, which made the process much easier to do without the constant struggle.

When he woke up, his arm is gone forever, just until he tinkers around to finally build his iconic three-pronged claw we all know and love :)

That is my headcanon of how he lost his arm

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ddarker-dreams · 3 years

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dropping by to tell u that ur my favoritest yan fic writer out there and your yan genshin updates give me life MUAH

thank you so much nonnie!!!! 😘😘😘 i appreciate you!!! i’ve absolutely loved writing for genshin, so i’m glad that the community is thriving with so much content aaaa ❤️ warms my heart...

anon 2 asked: I’m not sure if this has been asked before or not, but have you read/watched Togashi’s other work Yu Yu Hakusho? If you haven’t, I think you’d definitely like Kurama.

i have heard of it but i haven’t watched it before! i looked up the design for kurama and wow... he is a very pretty boy. he has these mysterious vibes that makes me think i would like him. if i ever get around to watching it i’ll keep an eye out for this boy 👀

anon 3 asked: If you don't mind me asking, what other games do you play besides genshin?

my cycle of playing games is kind of messed up by genshin right now since that’s the main game i play whenever i get hit with Gamer Urge. however, the games ive enjoyed the most recently other than that would be divinity original sin 2, darkest dungeon, pokémon, animal crossing, and fire emblem!

anon 4 said: it's nice to see a fellow hu tao simp! i was so excited to see you make a yandere hu tao x reader,, i rarely see any x reader content of her so i just silently suffer most of the time 💔 ty for feeding us hu tao simps good food op i will be reading that story religiously everyday 🛐

we need more hu tao in this world, i fully agree. every time i see her i just can’t help but smoke... i think it’s the super cute hair. long pigtails 🥺 ANYWAYS you have god tier taste anon. i trust anyone that loves hu tao.

anon 5 said: i am going to kiss u on the forehead as gently as i can,,, that hu tao fic was absolutely delicious❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

THANK YOU NONNIE!!! i was worried at first over how much macabre hu tao typical dialogue to incorporate into a fanfic, but i ended up content with the balance. she can be soft when she wants to, after all. i’m happy that you enjoyed it!

anon 6 said: You posted the harem HCs right after I finished work and it was such a treat to read. I love them. I know you obviously didn't write them for me in mind but thank you for brightening up my day!

PHEW what good timing!! i end up working on my writing on and off throughout the day and finishing it around the time people (in american) time zones would be getting home. i’m glad that you were able to enjoy the headcanons after a day of work!!

anon 7 said: I loved the Liyue reverse harem, how can you be such a good write???Xiao being a puppy is actually cute and I love this concept

i was looking forward to including vigilant xiao watching over his crush the most 😭 it’s just an adorable sight to picture. he’s such an intimidating figure, it can’t help but melt your heart that he’s there to ensure you’re always safe. the main trick is writing the most self indulgent stuff, anon. that is what produces the best you have to offer because you’re having such a good time writing it.

anon 8 said: akfhdsh Lock why was that Zhongli fic so hot🔥?? Ahh I haven't been able to get it out of my head ALL day & 5000 words? You are superb 😍 I can't help but feel so sorry for poor darling. Having to do that with him on the very first night, man didn't even give her a break/a chance to settle down. Either way I'd love for you to throw some concepts here & there if you can 👉👈 or share your afterthoughts ^_^ the universe in this one felt especially great! I wish you the best of luck, take care <3

it’s all because of the random zhongli dream anon 😭 i couldn’t get him out of my mind until i wrote a loooong fic for him. the idea of his darling being with him since the archon war days is my favorite! i’ve always had a soft spot for it, ever since i was trying to figure out what a yandere zhongli might look like back in november. it’s just... genuinely horrifying to imagine being stuck with that for thousands of years. especially when people view rex lapis so highly in liyue, darling feels even more alone on her festering feelings. there’s no relief to be had.

i think i’ll do a big ol headcanon post because the world for yan zhongli and his god darling is so big, i’ve given it a Lot of thought. but the main gist of it is how darling deals with the inaccurate portrayal of their history together. and of course, she interacts with others, since zhongli has the reassurance from the contract that she won’t try to escape. so there’s a lot of angst there. 😭

anon 9 asked: Hey! any plans for more Hu tao content in the future? your last story was just really gooood, she's such an interesting character! I've also been hooked to Rosaria and I'm wondering if you plan to write for her aswell... hopefully no one asked this already lol

i’d love to write more for hu tao!! she is a character that i adore a lot. currently, i don’t have any ideas for her that would get me going, but once i see one or get hit with inspiration she’ll make a reappearance. i do have a few hu tao requests so hopefully those will help inspire me. AND ROSARIA... 🥺 WHAT A WOMAN. i want to learn more about her!! i’ll write for her when her stories and voice lines are all out, that way the characterization is more accurate. she captured my heart with that distant attitude and those listless eyes 🥰🥰

anon 10 said: hi hi!! i just wanted to say i discovered genshin impact bcs of you! i saw your yandere genshin posts back in november, i didn't know anything abt genshin or their world but i read it and just googled their names to know their appearances lmfao and until then i just fell into a rabbit hole of genshin. i eventually grew tired of not knowing anything abt genshin and its lore so i craved around early january and downloaded the game despite me not rlly being a gamer™ and now i'm here at ar 51, a hu tao main and no, i haven't touched grass since downloading the game 😭

ah yes, welcome anon, to what could be considered heaven or help depending. if you were able to get hu tao then i’d say you’re in the latter camp (aside from having to grind for her ascension materials, that is pure suffering). it’s a fun game to get into during this quarantine/spotty lockdown time, so i hope you’ll enjoy your time with it! i’m glad that mihoyo releases content often enough to keep us well fed.

anon 11 asked: Lock dearest, have you ever watched Jujutsu Kaisen?

i like that super cute girl with short finger hair!! i’m planning on watching the show when it’s completed, which i think is soon? ill binge watch it. i’ve recognized a lot of my favorite voice actors from the clips i’ve seen posted, so i’m excited to give it a shot.

anon 12 asked: You watch Demon Slayer? It's really great 🤯

i’ve seen clips of the amazing animation before! it’s currently on my list of shows to watch. 👀👀

#sweet asks #lock lore #answered #Anonymous

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angst-fairygodmother · 4 years

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Can I request a fluffy little fic with Klaus? And like he’s always super supportive even if he doesn’t quite understand what you’re doing, he’s kinda always like “fuck yeah look at you go!” I could really use the love lol

A/N: Hey Nonny. I didn’t know what sort of things you meant, so I defaulted to what’s familiar for me: the struggles of higher education. I hope you enjoy it, and that whatever you’re doing, you know it’s amazing because you’re doing it 😊 Word Count: 1944 Content Warning: mild language, brief references to drugs

You groaned, your head hitting the table as you stared down at your circled answer, the wrong answer again. You were determined to keep taking this practice test until you got it right, until all of the answers felt like second nature. Except you kept making the same mistakes over and over again instead.

Your pen sailed through the air, causing your best friend, and eternal headache, to duck with a chuckle as it clattered against the wall.

“I see studying's going well,” he teased, walking further into the room.

“Klaus Hargreeves, unless one of the assortment of pills I just know are in your pocket right now is a magic one that will help me remember this shit, I say this in the most heartfelt and loving way possible: piss off.”

He pressed his hand to his chest dramatically.

“Exqueeze me?” he trilled, “I come to make sure you’re alive, as you’ve not been seen in days, and this is the thanks I get?”

“I’m serious Klaus,” you sighed, running a hand through your tangled hair. “I need to study.”

He looked you over, taking in the bags under your eyes, your rumpled clothing, the sag of your shoulders. You were overworking yourself, as self-destructive in your own way as he was in his, and it pained him to see.

“You need a break,” he said, crossing over to you and sweeping you up in his arms, toppling your chair in the process and surprising you with the strength hidden in his arms.

“Klaus,” you whined, struggling ineffectively from your position pinned to his chest in a bridal carry. “No, I don’t have time for a break right now. Especially not the kind you mean.”

He sat down on your bed, keeping you in his lap and began carefully finger-combing through the knots in your hair.

“I have no ulterior motive, mademoiselle,” he hummed. “Only your wellbeing in mind. Relax with me for one hour,” the worst of your knots gone, he laid down, tugging at your arm to try and get you to join him. “And I will leave you alone for the rest of the night, or even help you to study, if you want.”

“I don’t want...chemical aids.”

He scoffed. “Who do you take me for? I know you better than that.”

“Then how could you help me? You don’t know anything about the material. Or testing.”

“I’ll...hold up your charming little flash cards, or read you the questions. I don’t know. Sit next to you and cheer enthusiastically whenever you get a question right and burn the whole book if it claims you’re wrong?”

You couldn’t help the giggle that slipped out, and were glad of it when he flashed you that dazzling grin. The longer you sat, awkwardly leaning and half in his arms, the harder it became to resist his temptation.

“Fine, one hour,” you said, attempting to be stern as you relented, curling up against his chest.

“No more, no less. And then we shall study until our eyeballs fall out,” he promised, fingers crossed behind your back as he held you.

Your hands shook nervously and you thought for sure you were going to sweat through your blazer as you paced the hallway outside the small lecture hall. You checked the notes you had tucked in your pocket and licked your lips to try and wet them, not that your equally dry mouth and tongue made much difference.

“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen of the board, distinguished faculty, and guests,” you muttered for what felt like the seven-hundredth time today. “No, that sounds stupid. Why am I calling the faculty distinguished but not the board or the guests? Maybe I should just do ‘good evening ladies and gentlemen of the board, faculty, and guests,’ but that sounds weird too.”

You flopped against the wall, groaning in frustration. This presentation was the moment, your time to shine, or to crash and burn, dictating potentially the entire rest of your career. And public speaking was not your strong suit.

“Y/N?” your advisor said, poking her head out into the hall and giving you what was surely meant to be a reassuring smile. “They’re ready for you now.”

You took a deep, shaky breath. “Okay, thanks, Linda. I’ll be right in.”

This was your thesis you were about to defend. You had spent more than a year researching and writing it. So why did you suddenly feel like you knew less than the day you walked into your first “101” class?

“Time to face the executioner,” you muttered to yourself, squaring your shoulders and walking in behind Linda, feet carrying you slowly down the aisle to the podium.

You paused, taking a moment to arrange your notes and scan the crowd, looking for someone who looked friendly and unassuming, maybe a kindly librarian type, to focus on while you spoke.

Instead you locked eyes with a familiar, wholly unexpected pair of green eyes. You frowned, about to call out and ask what the hell Klaus thought he was doing here, when you remembered exactly where here was. You cleared your throat and tried to school your face to be placidly blank.

“Good evening,” you started, gaze still fixed on his face. “I would like to thank everyone for their time and attendance, um here, um today.”

‘You’ve got this,’ he mouthed silently.

You smiled, launching into your presentation proper with gusto.

Every time you felt yourself hesitating or fumbling, you sought him again, and his awed little smile bolstered you, reminding you of all the late nights he had spent up with you, watching you from your bed as you paced the room or sat hunched at a desk, thinking out loud or talking to him about it all, offering little suggestions (never that helpful) or affirmations (always very helpful) occasionally, just to remind you that he was there, for you.

Before you knew it, your time was up and you exited the room to a smattering of applause. Out in the hall, a pair of warm arms wrapped around you from behind and lips were planted on your cheek.

“That was brilliant! You were brilliant!” Klaus said enthusiastically before dropping his voice to purr in your ear. “And the whole ‘genius’ thing is very sexy.”

You felt your cheeks blush heatedly. “I’m not a genius, Klaus.”

“Well I had no idea what you were saying, other than super smart stuff, so I disagree.”

You slid out of his arms, although he did manage to keep one circling your waist, and started walking, planning to stop at the 24 hour cafe on campus for a quick pick-me-up and then head home. Klaus followed, holding you as close as you’d let him, planning to go anywhere and everywhere you wanted and nowhere else.

“How do you know it was super smart then, if you didn’t know what it was?”

“Because I know you, and you’re the smartest person in the world.”

“I am not,” you countered, giving him a gentle shove, blushing even harder now.

“And because all those stuffy old academic types in there were impressed.”

“You think so?” you asked hopefully.

You felt like you couldn’t get a read on the room the whole time you were presenting, and their questions had been extremely critical.

His eyes twinkled as he stared down at you. “I know so.”

Before you knew it, graduation had crept up on you. You sat in the hard plastic chair in the stuffy canvas pavilion, surrounded by all of your classmates, and waited. It had been hours, and would be hours more, and you just wanted it to be over. No one was there for you, no one cared if you even got this diploma. You could probably slip out the back and be gone before anyone realized, the only sign of your absence the awkward pause when your name was read.

It had always been this way, all through your schooling. Your parents didn’t really understand your career choice, or didn’t have time to come for campus events. You didn’t have a lot of friends due to the demands of your program, and your own innate awkwardness. Instead of being a celebration of your achievements, graduation felt like another reminder of how alone you were, how most people would never remember you unless you did something embarrassing like trip and fall off the stage.

Making excuses and muttering apologies, you slipped out past the rest of your row of fellow graduates and out into the fresh air and bright light of the campus lawn. You breathed a deep sigh of relief, taking off your mortarboard hat and unzipping the robe-like graduation gown about half way.

“Y/N?” you jumped at the sound of Klaus’s voice, not expecting him to be here of all places, and especially not coming out of the tent you had just exited moments ago.

“Klaus!” you gasped, hugging him. “What...what are you doing here?”

“I came to see you, obviously,” he said, booping the end of your nose. “So when I saw you looking like you might be making a break for it, I followed.”

“Oh.” You were flattered that he would attend or managed to spot and recognize you in the sea of identically dressed co-eds, confused how he’d found out the date and time, and a little annoyed that you’d been caught.

“Were you running away?”

“They can mail me my diploma,” you said with a shrug. It wasn’t quite an answer, but it said everything it needed to.

“Y/N,” he sighed, placing his hands on your shoulders. “You know I don’t understand all this college, academic, brilliance stuff. But I know it’s supposed to be special and important and one of those things you’ll always remember.”

“Because it’s supposed to be a celebration. Only I don’t feel like celebrating alone.”

“Well, you’re not, are you?”

“My classmates don’t count. I barely know them.”

“I meant me.” He leaned down, pressing his forehead to yours. “You’re not alone, because I’m here. I’ll always be here.”

You smiled softly, staring into his green eyes, so tender and full of love, as you remembered all of the times he had been there already: how he’d gone to the post office and held your hand when you mailed out applications, how he’d listened to you practice for your admissions interviews for days on end, every late night study session and “study” session, every distraction from anxiously awaiting a grade, pulling you up when you sank into a slump or felt like a failure and cheering you on for your highs and successes. Klaus had never been through formal schooling, had no desire to for all that he was clever. But even though he never knew what the hell was going on, he was there for you through it.

“I should have known that,” you murmured. “After all, you always have been before.”

“Even geniuses can’t know everything,” he countered with a shrug and a smirk, before leaning down to press your lips together softly.

You wrapped your arms around his neck, stretching up on your toes to bring you closer to him as his hands slid down from your shoulders to rest on your waist, an embrace as much as a kiss. You became dimly aware of the sound of applause from inside, signalling the end (finally) of the current speaker. Reluctantly, you pulled away.

“I guess I should probably get back in there,” you sighed.

“Only if you want to,” he said, thumbs tracing circles on your sides. “I’ll support you either way.”

#if this was nowhere near what you meant please feel free to send in a new request with clarification #is it romantic? is it platonic til the last moment? you decide #like a choose your own adventure of fluff styling #Klaus Hargreeves x reader #The Umbrella Academy fic

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icharchivist · 3 years

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Hi same nonny as usual haha! You asked for my thoughts on the spring troupe so now that I've finished the summer troupe debut I'm going to knock out two birds with one stone! I liked summer troupe a lot more then spring troupe. Not that I didn't like spring troupe! I just think that they didn't really communicate with each other?

The only reason why sakuyas issue with swordfighting was resolved was because masumi happened to be eavesdropping on a convo with the director, and why someone knew about itarus injury was because of citron noticing. I'm not saying there was no communication at all these two issues just. Bothered me so much the swordfighting one a lot more then the injury. The thing that bothers me about the injury is that itaru wasn't like. Told off for not telling anyone about his injury. Cause he could have seriously damaged his foot or something. I get that in the future there's probably going to be character development for itaru that lets him open up more to his troupemates. The swordfighting one just felt like a cop out to have a "moment" between sakuya and the director instead of having sakuya discuss that stuff with his troupe (which, bleh do not care for the characters flirting with the director at all. wish it wasn't there but I get why they do it.)

Despite my griping I did really enjoy spring troupe! They were fun! They just felt less trusting of each other then summer troupe at the end of day. And I get that char Dev will prob happen bout that but still haha. That's my thoughts on spring troupe! I could just be horribly misremembering the entire episode but oh well!

I know I said I'd also do summer troupe in this ask but it's already horribly long and I'm writing this on my phone. I'll get to that later. Thanks for reading my rambling that has not been proofread at all or edited. Hopefully it makes some sense hahaha. Thanks for introducing me to a3 it's tons of fun.

aaahh thanks for sharing!!!

honestly i kinda get where you’re coming from. I really love Spring, but it’s especially now in insight of their development. On first read, i think the thing especially was that the chapter was more about setting up some of the most major issues of the universe (the debts, the way to arrange themselves in that new environment ect..) that therefore the characters issues may be not as focused as the others chapters?

(also for character flirting with MC there will be only 2 in main stories that do that a lot, one of which is Masumi, and the other isn’t much flirting as just hopelessly in love. Not much we can do about it but honestly once you move on from spring if this really holds you down, it will ease off at least, even if there’s a few thingss here and there stil)

Summer was the moment i really fell in love with the game, i really, really adore Summer’s dynamic and it was just. so good to go through.

As for the things you bring up about Spring, on one hand on first read i think i get you, but yeaaaah in insight of all we learn about the characters, it’s really not that far fetched ahah.

For Sakuya imo it’s really just that he freaked out because of his abandon issues and i don’t really see him discussing it with Spring yet at this point? Like. Sakuya is terrified of not being good enough and being abandoned as a result, like all of his relatives ever did. So he tries to compensate. When Masumi just brought up that they’ll just replace him, i don’t find it far fetched that Sakuya freaked out about it and failed to explain it to Masumi at the time.

Those very same issues also lead Sakuya to hold on everything bad ever to himself. The reason he opens up to Izumi, more than her just coming to him there, is that she already proved before that she wasn’t willing to abandon him, if only by how she took up the theater because of his passion to start with. And, just, timingwise.

And i think Sakuya wouldn’t have taken reassurances from his others troupesmates who have already made clear they believed in him, because i think Sakuya would be more crushed with the idea that they’re just being polite and kind with him. Because he knows he’s failing and the others’s way to reassure him would probably have made it worse. He needed reassurance 1) from the director who at this point has already started to be giving more constructive critisms, 2) Masumi, who’s the one who caused those insecurities by the fact he doesn’t hold back. But i don’t see him reach of to Masumi with how hostile Masumi has been to everyone up until that point. (i have more thoughts but that’d be me overreading it too but dKJFDLKF a3 makes my brain go brr)

As for Masumi, this kid has serious communication issues (only child with no friends and no parents around? oof) and i don’t think he would have reached out to Sakuya or even figured something was wrong otherwise.

Are those just easy way out for the writers? maybe, but that’s just how writing is isn’t it? if you want to make even some “artificial” conflict, you need to make it believable why this conflict exist even in the first place.

Honestly the swordfighting issue doesn’t strike like that to me, and those are all about things that are shown in the Spring chapter itself, but i suppose since i also know those things are expended on, it does add a layer of “this was made with depth for their characters in mind” imo.

Also i think if Masumi hadn’t eardropped, Izumi would have talked to him about it, being the mediator and all of that, and i think Masumi would have understood then. I don’t think Masumi was unwilling to understand, but that he lacked the groundwork to understand it. and we mostly were spared from having to repeat the scene with Izumi telling him about it.

Idk if i see Sakuya managing to tell it to Masumi even after this talk? I think Sakuya is the kind to take all of his pain in silence and assume responsibilities for everything that goes wrong, and i don’t think he would have felt comfortable opening up with that, especially since, as he tells Izumi, he genuinely feels like *he’s* the failure about it (and as Izumi tells him, it’s not his fault if others people don’t try either. Sakuya was made to believe that he had to take full responsibility when a relationship doesn’t work because of his relatives, and i think he was set on doing the same with this Massu’s situation, and the reason he could share it with Izumi is because she’s not the person he’s taking responsibility for). On top of that, Sakuya remains Masumi’s elder, and Sakuya does want to be someone people rely on - he wants to be a big brother figure, and i think he wouldn’t have wanted or known how much of this responsibility he could share with Masumi knowing that. And i don’t think it’s healthy! but it’s perfectly understandable from Sakuya’s perspective and the specific way he shoulders responsibilities because i will fistfight his family his family sucked.

As for Itaru, on this one we only got the reveals about how deep this lack of trust Itaru had for people ran only recently, so imo early on you just need to take it at face value and hope when you get to know more, it’ll click. Realizing he doesn’t want to be alone anymore and wants to be more with Spring is a turning point from this set up about him, so he can only develop from here.

For why no one really told him off about it, i guess i can understand the grip ahah. imo i think everyone worried already enough that he was talking about leaving the company this was the priority to discuss and i do think talking about his ankle at that point may have not worked with the pacing of the emotional moment. I wouldn’t have minded seeing some of them being more worried about it in general though.

In the end the thing with Spring is that aside from Tsuzuru, they are all people who come from background where communication isn’t their forte. Sakuya fears he’s never good enough, Masumi never even had to face how lonely his life had made him until now (and i think he specifically lashes on the director because it’s the first time he feels like he wants a connection with anyone in his life and he doesn’t know what to do with it. I find his obsession creepy imo but i also see where it’s coming from), Itaru has severe trust issues and rather be solo in general, and Citron hides a lot about himself.

and i think, we have Tsuzuru has never been really alone ever, and he takes a lot of responsibility, (though there’s a few things about his background we learn later that shows he still has similar struggles than the rest of his troupe regarding some.. broken connection, which he vagues at in the Spring chapter (... which is something i only noticed on my reread knowing that so i wouldn’t blame you for not catching it)) but he’s also trying to do things for himself for once in his life. Ultimately he knows how to communicate more in general but he has that going on for him, and especially, i think his way to communicate or connect may be too foreign for the rest of the troupe for a smooth connection off the bat.

All of them are trying to connect in their own ways coming from those complicated feelings they have about connection imo... and i do find it fascinating.

I see Spring a lot like, the kids who had to grow up too fast and the adults who are unhappy with where their adult lives have taken them and the expectations pushed upon them who yet are trying to cope on their own mostly because they have reasons to feel unsafe otherwise. (Tsuzuru is a bit in between imo bc he’s not “unsafe” yet and he’s already taking himself back in hands with the expectations things, but anyway, i am. trying to keep it short, believe it or not) And they’re still navigating where that leaves them as people, and where that leaves them in their connection with others, and especially with each other because in the end they’re all yearning to connect especially with one another, and just don’t know how to reconcile this desire with who they have been all this time to cope through all of this.

All of this is present in the Spring intro chapter but ^^” i could imagine that without having the full picture those aren’t things that may be easily picked up as important for their characterizations. But honestly there’s a throve of details in the writing to flesh them out when you know where to look and i find it fascinating. (but also i like. relived this chapter 5 times, 4 of which after i’ve seen most of their development, and my first read is so long ago i think i just overthink everything DLKJFDLKF and like, Spring was one of my least favorite at first read bc i struggled to connect with them, so it’s not like i don’t get you, it’s just. nowadays, spring is care spring is love and i cry over their intro chap a lot.)

Anyway i guess i get what you felt still, but, idk maybe i feel strongly about it ahah, i like the way the characters stand out from one another even in the moments that are probably just.. stupid, but in a “they wouldn’t know how to do better because of what’s holding them back” way.

i feel like “lack of communication” is a problem every troupe have to various degree and for different reasons, but the whole thing is about trying to figure out how to fix that and work it with them. Some are more forward than others (like, Summer, mostly because Tenma and Yuki are stubborn and loud and straightforward in their own way)(”than others” i have so much to say about this i’m holding back dLKFJD) but i think it depends also a lot on some thematic it wants to tackle and the spirit of the characters in each troupe. It changes as the story progresses but yeah after all, they are all strangers. And while the game mentions they have a few months to prepare for their play, it was reckoned that every play takes one month to prepare, so it doesn’t really give a lot of time on their first play to really figure out everything they need to work on.

Spring, in essence, as a season, is about blooming back after Winter, after sadness and hardship, and learning how to slowly open up again. So imo their intro chap have to reflect that slow progress for them. While Summer can afford to be more loud, straight to the point (and even there it’s not always easy), Summer is full of learning from their mistake, living in the Now, in the Moment. So their season thematic reflects a bit in their intro chap at least. (ofc they all grow from there though but that’s still interesting imo).

anyway i rambled LDFJDLKFJFDLK

I didn’t mean it in a way to say your reading is invalid though!! sorry if it feels that way, i’ve tried rewriting it a few times DLKFJDLFK i just have a lot of emotions about Spring and the points you mentioned made me think about some stuff about it.

ANYWAY

if you want to share your thoughts about summer too and the rest you’re always welcomed o7 i’m glad you’re still enjoying your stay, and i hope you’ll keep enjoying the ride!

And Take care!

#ichafantalks a3 #Anonymous #ichareply #long post for ts #i'll huh go back to see if i can put a readmore somewhere brb

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gallavictorious · 3 years

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I really wish people would stop excusing their favorite character's actions with convoluted theories instead of just accepting that their faves aren't perfect. Ian should not be comparing Terry and Frank. Full stop. Especially not to Mickey's face, when Mickey is in the middle of trying to deal with the complicated feelings he has about the father that raped him by proxy and tried to actually murder him. It's ok to say "yeah you're right I don't know what you're going through but I'm here" and not make it into a shitty father competition.

And I really wish people would refrain from making groundless assumptions and recognize that trying to understand a character's motivation for doing something does not equal taking a stance on whether or not the action discussed is morally sound but alas, nonnie, we live in an imperfect world.

For those just turning in, this ask was received in response to my addition to this post.

Now, nonnie, if I understand you correctly, you disapprove of what I wrote because you see it as 1, an attempt to excuse Ian's behavior because 2, he's my favourite character and 3, therefore I can't stand to have him do something wrong. You also think that, no matter his motivations, Ian shouldn't be comparing Frank to Terry. Below, I'll quickly refutate points 2 and 3, as well as detail the difference between explanations and excuses and – hopefully – demonstrate why you can't with any sort of certainty claim that the offending post is an example of the latter. I will not really engage with the question of whether or not Ian was wrong for saying what he did, because (as we shall return to forthwith) that was not the issue originally discussed, it doesn't actually interest me, and as you do not offer any sort of reasoning for your moral judgment there really isn't anything for me to work with there anyway.

Strap in, kids; it's another long one.

Let's start with your claim that Ian is my favourite. I'm not actually going to spell it out there, but instead direct you to paragraphs 3-7 of this post. A little lazy, perhaps, but I'm sure you can appreciate why I have limited time to point out the same basic flaws twice in a fairly short period of time. (Should I pin a pic of me holding up a little sign reading ”Actually, Mickey is my favourite, even though I love Ian too” to the top of my blog? Would that be helpful?)

Moving on to point 3, I do agree with the general notion that it's fine to accept that the characters we love (no matter who that character is) are flawed and make mistakes! If you had taken the time to familiarize yourself with my thoughts on Ian and Mickey – or if you had, you know, just asked – instead of jumping to completely unsubstantiated conclusions based on a single post, you might even have realized that them being fucked up and making fucked up choices from time to time is one of the things I find most compelling about them. They are messy and complicated and human, and I love that. I neither think nor want either of them to perfect, because perfection is unrealistic is static is boring.

With that out of the way, let's get to excuses versus explanations. If one confuses the two, any attempt to discuss or explain a persons behavior will be construed as an attempt to excuse it, but to understand something and to condone it are actually two different things.

For instance, I can explain and understand why Mickey acted the way he did in 3x09, but still think kicking Ian in the face was wrong. I can explain and understand why Ian called Mickey a coward and a pussy in 4x11 but still think he was wrong for doing so. Do you see? Understanding – or trying to understand – why someone did something is not the same as saying that what they did was okay. Understanding the reasons for someone's actions might lessen the severity of our condemnation (for instance, stealing is generally considered wrong, but most of use would agree that stealing bread to feed your kid is less wrong than stealing bread because you're too stingy to pay for it) or might remove condemnation entirely (hitting someone because you are angry with them is wrong, hitting someone as part of consensual BDSM sex is fine), but understanding an action does not automatically lead to declaring said action morally correct. In short, ”why did X do Y” and ”was X right or wrong do to Y” are two different questions, and the fact that our answer to the second question often is at least partly dependent on our understanding of the first does not change that.

So explanations and excuses are not the same. And yet, sometimes the reasons for doing something (or failing to do something) are offered up as an excuse; as a reason why someone should not be held responsible for their actions, or why they were correct in performing/not performing them in the first place. That neatly leads us to the question of whether or not that's what's actually happening in the post you took exception to. And the answer to that is... you can't know. What boys-night and I discuss in the post is what Ian is actually doing (is he trying to compare trauma och convince Mickey he had it worse) and why he is doing it; that is, we are trying to understand and explain his behavior. Neither of us make any sort of statement on whether or not he was right or wrong for saying or doing what he did: that's just not the topic of conversation. Now, maybe I do think his motivations means that he's morally justified in what he said; maybe I don't. My point is that you can't know that just from what you've read in the post. You might draw some tentative conclusions, and they may be correct, but you don't know, and the reasonable and responsible way to go from there is to seek clarification by asking (polite) questions, not aggressively throwing around accusations about others grasping for straws in a despertae attempt to exonerate their favorites from wrongdoing.

(And just to remind you, even if I were making excuses for Ian, it wouldn't be because he's my favourite or becuase I can't bear to have him do wrong.)

You are perfectly free to disagree with any of the points made in the post, by the way, but you need to recognize that what we're disagreeing on then is motivation, not morality.

And, oh, of course it would have been okay to say "yeah you're right I don't know what you're going through but I'm here", but that's not what Ian did. Now, if you are happy to go ”ah, Ian fucked up, he's not perfect” and move on, that's fine. You do you, nonnie, and if analysis and discussion of character motivations isn't your jam then it isn't and I'm sure no one is going to force you to engage in it. (And if they try to, you can simply say ”I don't care” and walk away.) However, to be perfectly honest I am a bit perplexed that you should be so indignant over other fans trying to make sense of his actions. Do you still feel that way now that you – hopefully – understand that trying to explain a characters' behavior doesn't necessarily mean trying to excuse it? I mean, surely you are aware of the fact that people usually have reasons for acting the way they do, even if the way they act is shitty or misguided? (Note that I'm not saying that Ian's actions were shitty and misguided. That is not the discussion we're having.) I am rather curious, actually, as to what you think Ian's motivations were? Do you imagine he was deliberatedly diminishing Mickey's trauma? Why, if so? Do you perhaps think that he is obsessed with being The Most Victim and thus takes every opportunity to list all the ways Frank sucked? Or maybe that his mouth just moves without any thought or reason and the words just randomly happened?

To be fair, it seems that Ian's motivations is not something you consider relevant: you write that ”Ian should not be comparing Terry and Frank. Full stop.” And that's absolutely a moral stance you can take, albeit certainly not the only one. Maybe Ian shouldn't have said what he said Had you given any reasons for this verdict, I might even have agreed with you because I can think of several reasons why it might be better if Ian refrained from comparing Terry and Frank, no matter his motivations. (And I might not, because I can also think of several reasons why such a comparision might be justified, even though Terry is clearly the more evil of the two.) However, we shall never know, because you fail to back up your claim. I guess that's because you deem it self-evident? It is not, and until you provide any sort of reasoning for your grand proclamation, I won't engage with the question. Not going to shadow-box with you, nonnie, or do your work for you; if you want a discussion, make your case properly. Though maybe make it elsewhere – as previously noted, passing judgement on the characters is not my primary interest when discussing them. I am much more intrigued by trying to understand why characters do and say what they do and say.

Phew. Okay, that's me done, I think. I realize that you might not be very impressed with this answer, nonnie, but I hope it may to some degree reassure you that no sneaky attempt to excuse my favourite character's actions with convoluted theories was made by this humble blogger. Not this time, at least.

#today will be a housekeeping day where i try to catch up with a few asks and tag games #sorry to spam your dashes #i have a theory by the way #and that's that the sudden influx of curious asks in my inbox is the result of my occasional andcareless foray into shitty graphics and gifs #it makes people not take me seriously anymore #okay maybe they never DID but even LESS seriously then #also it's a way to distract me from the shitty graphics and gifs #can't make them if i'm spending half a day writing this sort of stuff #so yeah i think this is the universe tell me to stay in my fucking lane #boo universe #where's your sense of fun?!#i'm gonna do what i want anyway #btw if you sent me an ask and weren't rude then NO i'm not talking about your ask #asks #shameless spoilers #11x06

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trashy-greyjoy · 7 years

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am i the only one who lost complete faith in bellarke the shows been om air for 4 years and the one final opportunity they had to kiss shouldve been right b4 they separated for 6 years they both were walking into their potential deaths and it just makes no sense how there wasnt at least a confession. then i remembered the writers are still pandering to antis who never shut up so it pretty much made me think that legit every small moment that has been given to us is bait for us to stay watching

2/2 you seem like one of the voice of reasons in the fandom and i just had to get it off my chest im just pretty sure the writers are baiting us all along for when they bring you know who back in the series finale or something its so sad bc we stuck around for so long and idk im pretty sure everyone has this feeling that bellarke will never happen so the antis will be happy. i wish theyd realize most of general audience prefers bellarke idk im just sad i wasted my time on this show for 4 yrs

Hello nonny! Not worry I am here to restore your faith in all things canon blarke and s5 is our time! I totally feel your pain, sometimes even I get in those ‘blarke is never gonna fuck what’s even the point’ moods, but i have some long ranting posts ill shoot your way so you have some things to think about and hopefully it'll raise your spirits! (also you saying I'm a voice of reason made me laugh because in all honesty I'm a huge emo mess )

About the kiss being in the s4 finale. at first I really thought it would happen too, since if they think they're gonna die they should confess and make out, except, they didn't think that, at least Bellamy didn't. He thought they were gonna have 5 years of the 2 of them stuck in space to figure it out and be together so he didn't feel the pressure to have to confess before they went up. Clarke probably didn't do anything because she was almost certain she was going to die and she probably didn't want to put all that on Bellamy if he was just going to lose her anyway. Thats especially easy to notice if you pay attention to the face caress scene where she seems light hearted and happy looking at him and then she remembers her mom’s vision. And if you recall there were two separate instances where one of them tried to either confess or say goodbye and the other wouldn't let them (Bellamy before clarke went to the island and Clarke before the head and heart convo). ALSO leaving the confession up in the air gives the opportunity for them to add a lot of conflict with bellamy not getting to tell her going into next season. So when you think about that, it makes a lot of sense for them not to have kissed in the finale.

About the writers pandering to a certain audience, I agree. they name dropped L at unnecessary and excessive points last season to pacify the antis as best as they could. I get it, I hated it, it hurt Clarke’s character, and it wasn’t needed, but like i get what they were trying to do, unsuccessfully. HOWEVER I don't think that'll be a problem going forward. The time jump allows time for Clarke to have grieved and moved on in the last 6 years. She’s not fresh off the loss of a loved one and she’s been able to come into herself and move on essentially. AND the writers have been active on Twitter, and talking about Bellarke for the first time since S2 which is a big deal. They’re out of their Post-L Hibernation and they feel safe, well at least safer, talking about Bellarke on social media, meaning they’ve moved on from trying to pacify the antis in that regard. I think we’re pretty much over seeing them directly pandering to the CL’s at this point.

Running off of that there’s also the scripts that the writers release, which have so far been pretty Bellarke heavy with the “another piece of her soul on the line”, “kill another person who she loves”, every part of the finale scripts and Bellamy’s “heart screaming”. Like... they released a script canonically saying Clarke loves Bellamy (and in a romantic way since the only other person she loved that she killed in canon was Finn). They’re putting it out there.

There’s no way they’re going to bring L back. Jason said she’s dead and not coming back. ABC has said it. And she’s trying to stay as far away from this show and that character as possible right now, she’s moved on she’s not going to come back.

As for baiting, yeah they stretch it out and a lot of people think 4 season is unrealistic, but I say time and time again, when you look at canon slow burns and how long they take, 4 seasons, not even full seasons let me remind you, is child’s play. Mulder and Scully took 7 seasons to kiss and almost the whole 9 seasons to be fully canon on the show. Stiles and Lydia took 6 seasons to be canon, Rick and Michonne took 4ish seasons to go canon (still more episodes than The 100′s current 58). Booth and Brennan, Fitz and Simmons, Harvey and Donna (I see you Ana), Ron and Hermione, they all took years and almost twice as long as Bellarke have. It’s how television works. It’s annoying and it’s unrealistic a lot of the times, but its a trope, it follows a pattern, it’s how television shows grab a certain type of viewers and and ensure that they can keep them for the run of the show. Because it’s widely believed by the tv industry that once the ‘will they won't they’ aspect is gone, viewers lose interest so they string it out as long as they think they can. Whether its true or not thats how it works.

There are also two more major reasons I think, or rather I know, Bellarke are endgame. The 6 Year Separation, and the fact that That’s The Story Jason Is Writing.

I have separate long posts for these on my blog so I’ll be brief and link those for further reading, but to start off, extended separations are romantic tropes. Being separated for years and thinking the other person is or could be dead is a tried and true romantic Hollywood trope. Almost every example of this in entertainment, be it tv, books, or film, has romantic connotations surrounding it. The entire post about it can be found right here, if you want the low down, which I suggest. I list off other examples and proof in it.

Moving towards Jason writing romantic Bellarke, it’s what he’s doing. If you look back at all the pivotal ‘Bellarke’ scenes in the past, Jason or Aaron have written a good portion of those episodes. Jason, the show runner, and Aaron, the guy he was ready to have take over if his other show got picked up. That combined with how many times he’s said that this is ‘Clarke and Bellamy’s story’ and in the past (S1-2) how free he was when speaking about Bellarke on social media. It’s always been the plan. He just likes to pull a Chris Carter (show runner of The X-Files, and the OG JRoth) and try to drag it out and deny it as much as possible. Seriously look up some of the stuff CC has said about Mulder and Scully in the past and it fits the same pattern. You can find the full post right here, where I give quotes and explain everything further.

Taking a turn for a second, you can also think about the fact that tv shows almost NEVER put their big endgame together until the end of the show is approaching, especially if it’s between the two series mains. They don’t give that to you early on, that’s why most bigger ships in tv are at least partially slow burn, they don’t put the big couples together in the first season or two.

And I guess to close out, you can think about the fact that S1 Bellamy is set up as a romantic interest for Clarke from the beginning. His character and their relationship follow the ‘enemy/bad boy isn't actually that bad and actually has a heart and realizes that when he meets the good girl that challenges him’ like come on my guys... they’re set up as a trope from episode 2 when he saves her, and then episode 3 when he stares at her killing Atom and he gets all soft and realizes she’s not who he thought she was. It even comes complete with the jealous canon love interest and the ‘we’ve been through a lot together”

Never mind, I have one more point. Look at the sizzle reel for next season. It’s set up to make Bellarke look romantic or at least intimately connected. I have another long post for that one right here.

I hope that did the trick for reassuring you at least partially and now we can all stew in this hellatus for a few more months before this hell shit returns to us!

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