#I am home lmao but it was just so nice

[femmeidiot]

okay I'm just gonna focus on the good things hehe (trying)

#Anyway work was dumb today but i had invited my coworker (the 20 year old) to go to this concert I won tickets to after work #cause conveniently the concert was like two blocks from our job yay and she wasn't leaving town for the the holiday like basically everyone #I know and thankfully the concert was 18+ not 21+ but she was like... so excited to go with me and she loved the opener she said he was the #best opener at a concert she'd ever seen and I was like oh that's such a nice thing you should tell him and so she went and told him and #he gave her stickers and she was excited and she liked the headlining artist too and because I won the tickets I was also supposed to get #merch also and so I waited in the merch line and told them I was there cause I won and they were SO EXCITED and gave me free merch and I wa #gonna buy a second thing and they made me take that for free too?? And the artist was so excited I came I was like... have people not shown #up? And she said people had not showed up for their free concert and merch ??? Wild to me #but they were just so nice and and my coworker took my picture with the artist and sent it to me and we walked to the train station and now #I am home lmao but it was just so nice

[forestgreenlesbian]

.

#feel like my relationship with my younger brother is changed completely forever not to be dramatic lol but i am sad #we used to b very close but he has kind of. found his faith again and gone full missionary christian which like. i knew meant the dynamic #was doomed lmao but actually acknowledging it makes me sad i feel like i'm grieving for the friendship we used to have even though #it is literally a me problem i think from his perspective he doesn't think anything has changed. but i feel weird about everything #also his new gf is nineteen and he is. almost 25 and i am the only one who feels weird about it like i know she's over 18 but! idk i can't #tell if i'm being overly cautious or if my gut instinct is right. my sister & her husband have a similar age gap but they met when they wer #both over 30 so like. it didn't feel weird. and i didn't feel comfortable actually seriously talking to him about it apart from the first #time he mentioned her over facetime (he went to another country to do mission stuff & met her there) so like an idiot i've just been #making jokes about the age gap becausee like. thats always been our thing lightly bullying each other lol but he blew up at me and said #i've had nothing positive to say about her since he's been back home and that he thinks i hate her and i'm out of line for constantly #implying he's creepy for dating someone younger. idk i felt like such a freak idiot horrible person about it. it completely blindsided me #bc yes the jokes were coming from a place of idk how i feel about this situation so i'm going to rely on the humour-based communication #we have always fallen back on as a safety thing but i guess i was wrong or the dynamic shifted or something anyway it's all fucked #& everyone is just telling me i feel weird out of some?? misplaced kind of jealousy thing?? because i'm 'losing' my brother to his gf lol #which does not feel right at all he has dated so many other girls and i have never had a problem it is literally the age gap like i haven't #even met this girl i'm sure she's very nice! i just worry about her being nineteen!! jesus. and yes maybe i do feel some resentment around #a brother younger than me who seems to be able to live his life with zero difficulty whilst i'm stuck being this unemployed loser who ruins #literally ever friendship & relationship ive ever had but i think thats ok right like i can't help feeling that. i don't fucking knowwww #am i just projecting all these sad feelings about our friendship dying onto his new relationship or like. am i right to be genuinely #concerned she's six years younger than him and still a fucking teenager!!!!!! i don't know

[concert-bflat]

Thinks about how. Gloreth only starts looking at Nimona differently/strangely when her parents call her a "monster". Just throws that label with such a negative connotation on her. Gloreth fucking fights for Nimona immediately in the beginning saying that she's her friend and never once looks at her with ridicule until her mom just holds her by the shoulders and tells her she's a monster, straight in the eye, straight in the face. And just the word is enough to cause the change.

Nimona's getting fucking attacked and prodded and Gloreth doesn't even feel sorry for her just because she's now re-contextualizing everything around her but with that word. I'm so sick. She looks not in hesitance but at disbelief before she runs away. She sees Nimona trying to defend herself from literal Danger in any way she can (she's just a kid and she's fighting with people who won't listen, never will, people that she can't get through) but just sees that as more proof of her being violent, monstrous. She sees her friend all alone, with the odds and the world stacked against her despite them being. so similar but just tells her to go back to the shadows.

And like. Of course she believes those words calling Nimona a monster and takes them to heart. Her parents, the ones she would probably trust most are the ones that told her that. And she's young, she doesn't know much about the world or much better. And of course, her parents and the whole village don't know any better. They didn't see what she saw. They don't know or feel the need to know much more than the definition of the word "monster". But it hurts. God it hurts. It's wrong. It's not fair. It's really not fair.

And it causes this whole legend that will stay with Nimona to ridicule her for generations and generations and birth this system that she's trapped by and causes everyone to be so brainwashed. The one that makes people scared and build walls. That births unecessary distrust.

God. Even in the scroll illustrating Nimona and Gloreth, Nimona is portrayed as such a bigger and scarier threat than she ever could be or would be, until Nimona internalized and gave into those images and despair of course. It's not fucking fair.

Thinking about how when the villagers saw Nimona as a "normal" person they were happy for her just living her life and playing with her friend, she was just another kid being happy like she and every ("normal", apparently) person deserves to be, and they were allowing her to be happy then when they find out what she really is they hate her. They call her a monster and drive her out immediately. They don't look into the details that contradict the stigma, they just feel betrayal when they weren't even the ones who were betrayed (Nimona couldn't fucking help being who or what she was. And she was her own person. She was still. A someone. Why do things have to be different now?). I'm so sickkk.

Thinks about how Nimona feels so hopeless as to just. Accept and yield to that label. That label that was passed down to Gloreth. To the whole world. Such simple but awful words. Aughhhhhhhhhhh

Another post I saw talks about how this is a movie about how hate is taught. And oh my god it is. Hate it taught. It's done so simply yet so, painfully effectively. So devastatingly. And that hate teaches people to hate the world back. God I fucking loooove this movie

Also Nimona's such a Creature /pos /affectionate she's so relatable I fucking love her and I'm insane okay that's the post bye

#nimona #nimona movie #nimona gloreth #this is all to jsut say the trans allegory is INSANEEEHAUEORBHAEOH it. touched me. #watched this movie with some irls after never hearing of it befroe in my LIFE and. as a person who had. a very miserable june at home #and is still having kind of a miserable time at home #this movie made me feel. very accepted and loved :) #lmao at one of the emotional points with nimona one of my irls like dragged me in for a hug #because i was laugh-sobbing very loudly because being dramatic is fun LMAO exagerrated reaction y'know #and they said it's because they couldn't tell if i was actually crying or not #and while i don't think i was in that moment #i think i was genuinely crying at some point #not in an obvious way. just slight tears. and not the laughing kind #and it was great. what a great movie <3333 #the fact these themes are also. extremely prevalent in another piece of media im currently hyperfixated on is sooo unfair you can't do that #also unrelated but i love how casually ballister and ambrosius' relationship is portrayed #it's so nice to see it just. be there. and be wonderful #all in all yeah great movie i am now sick for life <3 #also i spent this whoel post misspelling “nimona” as “nimora” i'm :skull: good thing i reread and edit before posting

[musette22]

Waaaahhh my friends surprised me with a voucher for the hairdresser to get something done that I've wanted for a while but never got around to, and I finally went today, and now my hair looks like this!? 😍✨️😭

#it looks so nice 😭 #I love my friends 💖💖💖 #and yes the hairdresser took pics and videos lol which is actually quite nice? #but tbh it looks just as good at home which is almost never the case lmao #anyways! just wanted to share because I am very happy!! with my hair!! #✨️✨️✨️ #carry on #minnie talks

[dandyshucks]

LETS FUCKING GOOOOOO

#i forgot how difficult it is to print out digital art nicely djdkdl #it did take me three tries... after i ran the printer thru its cleaning cycle twice dbhddkl #so much printer ink. ALAS. i have quite a bit from a couple yrs ago and idk how long it lasts so like... i probably should use it up anyway #but shfjdld hopefully i can figure out the settings a little faster next time LORD. everything just came out way too dark #it still is darker and not as vivid as I'd like but ... i think this is as good as it gets for a home job fjfkdl #I AM PLEASED NONETHELESS! #i can add Guz to my secret wall of fandom dhdjdl i have mk up there and my paper mache dca masks already #its abt time i got my mans up there too fjfkdl #(i say secret wall bc it is hidden away from where anyone in the house can see it fjfkdl i have a curtain blocking it LMAO) #maybe one day if im able to i will have these printed out all niceys but fjfkdl for now this is what i will be pleased with :] #dandy.cmd

[lilowoof]

I'm so fucking excited to get all this outstanding work done, and for tax season to fuck off. I cannot wait to have more time to play games with pals, go out with friends whom I haven't seen in a few months....go to some random meetups to meet new ppl and create new connections (and perhaps snag me a new person wink wonk LMAO).

And just...have more time to live. To stop feeling as lonely as I am feeling rn. CAUSE HOO BOY, it's been hitting me hard. And I can't do too much about it CAUSE of the deadlines I need to meet!

#I have learned my lesson: no more zines. or rather. no more modding zines #as much as I love you grizz zine. the amount of work you have placed on my shoulders is too much. heck. the other mods have it worse #I dont enjoy doing overtime and coming home to work on the art for the zine that I really should have had help with :') #27 spots...thats way too much for me at least. my hands are struggling and I am getting flare ups again. and I am not including the notes #I legit havent drawn anything for me in months because of this and I just wanna draw abby n pilos cuddling!!!!!! LMAO #and I so badly want to reach out to ppl to play games with and I cant cause Im either WORKING or WORKING #I really want to stream games again too.....I REALLY want to play 999 with someone :'))))))))))) would be a fun game to share...... #and the cube escape game too #AUGH I HATE BEING SO BUSY AND ALONE SOMETIMES LMAO. IDM being single but this is an instance where a partner would be nice to have to blab #but ye I am so excited for may. most things will be done and work will still be rough but more manageable! #so ye. IM so sorry if you read all this I just like talking. and I dont really have anyone to talk to rn except myself XD #(ye ye I could reach out to ppl but hm. well I am tbh LOL. but ya know. busy. haha) #also typing has been really painful lately. the only reason why these tags are ending is cause my hands are numb from typing. :'))))))))))) #ok goodnight

[autistic-shaiapouf]

Okay okay so. Thinking.

I've mapped out how I want to pay off my credit cards, which means I'll only be getting new stuff pretty sporadically, which means I need to appreciate the zero cost things in my life, like:

- the 2.5 foot tall stack of unread books I have

- the violin I might finally actually pick up again

- the 500+ drawing prompts I've been hoarding

- the list of anime I still need to watch

- the 3000+ songs in my watch later playlist

- the stickers I've been neglecting to cut

- yarn??? I have a lot of yarn

- all the pink fabric leftover from moth cosplay

- the candles and incense I also already have

In short, time to actually use the stuff that I have 😭

#though. i do want one more candle. they're putting minty smells in the winter ones and it smells cold #i need a cold smelling candle that is warm and on fire i just need that very strange contrast #but yeah!! will spend a little testing out acrylic charms but for the most part #we're gonna hang out at home for a while and express gratitude or whatever lmao #okay but i think it will actually be nice to start getting through all those books skjfkdkd #and to watch the bigger name anime to actually see them lmao; saw a lot at the con i recognized but hadn't actually watched #and also my music!! all my music bc i am clinically insane about music; miku playlist advancement... #this isn't even touching on the games i have now ksjfkf if either of you are reading this 👀 i still wanna get yall something #and I'm planning the exact day i wanna do it 😤 #but yeah I'm thinking it over and am like. oh boy time for self improvement skjdkfkf #also finances will get easier bc im not ubering all over and I'm not seeing docs for my stomach now that the ulcer has been resolved #i made back half of what i spent getting the car in only 4 months and that feels good to see #it's still gonna be some hard work but we're gonna make it; I'm also highballing one of the cards #the hotel put a damages hold on my card and my math factors that in; they said that money would go back to me in 5 or so #business days so that'll be a little less to be concerned with; I'll still try to pay what numbers i found though #do it faster and do it better and idk what the fuck I'll do with the cards bc. 30% apr........... #idk i could get groceries with them and then pay them off? take that credit score you'll just eat that shit up won't you.. #surprisingly my credit score hasn't taken any super ugly hits from this and i aim to keep it that way lmao #anyways. that's a lot of words to say that i want to actually use my stuff lmao #shai speaks

[theconstellationsinyourskin]

Feel like my capacity to Exist In Capitalism declines every year

#personal post #last week was fall break and my classes were actually nice enough to have a reduced enough workload that i basically had a 10 day break #but this week going back i am so beyond exhausted lmao. my brain is still working when i need it at least #but im sleeping thru my alarms and crashing when i get home #don't even really have any negative feelings about any of my classes or my internship this semester either. they're fun and im learning #im just. Tired

[yellobb]

Working from home is very nice because I can wake up at 7am and clock in at 7am instead of 8:30

#m rambles #I genuinely expected to kind of hate wfh based on how my brain works #and I do hate certain aspects right now #(mainly because my job is to read documentation rn and I cannot focus well on that) #but it’s also nice to be able to wake up and just clock in immediately #so that I can be done for the day by 3 #also being able to do laundry or dishes while I work is >>>> #and wearing sweatpants instead of business casual is excellent #but I do like going into the office for the concentration and community aspect #the people I work with are super nice so far #and all giant nerds lmao #different kinds of nerds than I am but ya know what? #it’s still a good starting point #I may not be into MTG or MLP or any of the video games my coworker talks about #and I may not be a mega math nerd who reads topology research papers for fun or listens to the weirdest musical combinations you’ve ever hea #*heard #but I am familiar with the kind of brain worms that causes you to be that invested in something so we’re on the same footing here #all this to say that I’m liking my job so far #which is good because I’m so far away from home now that I think I’d spiral if I didn’t

[gottagobuycheese]

genuinely truly wholeheartedly cannot fathom people who go running before work. what do you mean you don’t get out of bed 10-15 minutes before you need to be fully dressed, breakfasted, equipped, and out the door? why would you voluntarily wake up SEVERAL hours early and go get sweaty in the dark and cold and then have a shower in the MORNING only to go to work all day?? incomprehensible.

#context: my housemate and I went for a run/walk this evening and we remarked on how nice it was and how we should do it more often #but realistically the only way we'd be able to do it during the weekdays is before work #which like. lmao. #I'm sorry but your insomnia and my insomnia do not line up enough for this #the only person who comes to mind that I actually know does this is my high school ap chem teacher #but she also got her phd at 25 so she doesn't count #I do like running in the mornings the few times I've done it! #but the only way we'd be able to get it done before work here is well before sunrise #which I am intrinsically opposed to #and also if I have work right after I can't just come back home and go back to sleep or slouch on the couch for 3 hours straight #I was going to say something but there was this HUGE gust of wind and rain and other noises lashing my window and I forgot what it was #anyways in summary I still don't want to go to work tomorrow #and I'm rrrreeeaaaaallllyyyy hoping that the ‘don't want to be here’ energy of Friday carries over to today #phenomenal job on Friday 6 out of 8 of my co-worker's people didn't show up #I yearn for that sort of attendance #please. please give me nothing to do. let me catch up on my other stuff. you do not need to come in for this. this can be an email. #(to be fair I would also hate it if it were an email sdkjfhskfjh) #(...yeah actually maybe don't make it an email) #(but please please PLEASE no more backstories tragic or otherwise) #(please let it just be simple and straightforward enough to finish all my notes as they come) #(I still have to do Friday's because I slept like all of Saturday and half of today) #ah shoot and I still need to study... #you know what. I'm gonna have to say it: I miss December #Cheese's personal molasses #Cheese evaporates about...job?? #okay I should go to sleep now and stop fantasizing about a tree missing everything but landing exactly across our driveway #rendering it impossible for us to go to work #OKAY STOP WHINING #IF WE MAKE IT THROUGH TOMORROW I'LL LET YOU DO SOMETHING ART RELATED A N D EAT SOME COOKIE DOUGH HOW'S THAT

[princekirijo]

Finally getting round to reading the Scarlet Pimpernel (free eBooks my beloved) and while I am really enjoying the story and everything is pretty easy to follow, the sheer royalist tones the book has is a lot

#i mean i knew that would be in here #given that pimpernel is a noble who rescued “innocent royals/rich people” from the guillotine during the reign of terror #and the book is set in england AND france #but its still a lot lol #its honestly nice so far #im managing two chapters a day which im really really proud of considering i cant remember the last time i read a book #well ok last one i read was beowulf but that wasn't too long (version i read anyway) #this book has like 29ish chapters? idr #its also worth noting the author herself was a baroness #and that her backstory involved her fleeing to england when she was 3 because the locals rebelled against her family and burnt down #the family home #which while im sure it was justified must have been terrifying for her #i cant lie either its interesting reading from this and seeing her perspective on things as much as i despise royalty i am very interested #in the whole system if that makes sense? its just fascinating to me #i think im gonna blame tlk for this one LMAO #but yeah good so far #also yeah im sure you guys know why im reading the book LMAO #if not well im sure you could probably guess 💀 #to be fair the reign of terror was a pretty fucked up time so like i can see the need for pimpernel... somewhat #also fun fact for anyone interested but this book is actually what started the whole hero with a secret identity #and pimpernel is said to have inspired the likes of zorro and batman! #idk i just thought that was pretty cool

[smile-files]

according to my friends at school i am:

an alien

a robot

a government spy

god (??)

a freak of nature

an anomaly

a distant relative of mothman

a cartoon character

will byers

a disney princess

inhuman (just generally)

#melonposting #spoof #little do they know.... autism >:) #yeah lol today i forgot my latin notes at home #so i felt completely lost today in latin class #and my friend said she was relieved because now i felt more human #lmao #but it's weird. like i'm technically being dehumanized?? #but for the most part people are just using these to describe how good i am at things/how good my life is #they think it's so utterly bizarre how good my grades are or how nice i am or how good i am at art or whatever #even if it's not nearly as extraordinary as they think #it's especially weird cuz a lot of these things (especially robot and alien) are used to demean autistic people #but 1. these people don't know i'm autistic and 2. they just think i'm so 'good' that there's something unnatural about it #i'm being dehumanized in the opposite direction lmao #but ohhhhhhhhhh my goodness it's crazy. i am just a guy #so clovercore of me????????????????????

[rosicheeks]

🥯🪐

#lmao I didn’t know what to do for an emoji so have a bagel planet #hope you guys are having a lovely Saturday morning #or night depending where you are #I went to my sisters last night #and she went to bed early for me so I ended up just leaving and chilling in my friends car #(side note kinda funny that I’m more comfy in their car than I am at my place l o l they said it’s ok if I just chill in here whenever) #so I ended up sleeping here for a bit and then they got off work so we chilled for a bit #they’re in bed now #and I shouuuuuuld go home and get to actual bed too #but ugh I’m so comfyyyyyyyv #I’m chilling in the back of the car #and I’m bundled in some pillows and blankie a #I just smoked a bowl #and I was coloring #and it was so so nice #but then I realized the time #and was like #Hahahhaha fuck me #it’s almost 9am #I hate time #I wish while I was painting or crafting time would just stop #but I guess that’s when you know your passions #when time just flies by while you’re doing it and there’s nothing you can do about it #I remember painting for fuuuuull days #and I would get sad when the day would be over cause I would have to stop painting #miss those days #ok idk what the point of this post is #I think I’m just procrastinating #I really don’t wanna drive home 😂😂 #shut up rosie

[713-4th-ward-g]

.

#what sucks is the moment someone is super nice to me 😭 i start to liking them a lot #why am i like this 😭 #i get shown any kind of decency or any genuine kindness I start to really like like them #then end up ruining the whole mood by telling them I like them 😂 #i suppose finding some more attractive cause they're super nice to me stems from my childhood trauma LMAO #gotta love being a neglected kid 😭😂 it doesnt help when they're extremely pretty too 😭😭 #lmao #what's wrong with me have some sense 😂 I know that just cause a person is nice to me doesnt mean they like like me or they even like me 😭 #but i still can't help but start liking them 😂 its also probably cause i finally feel like someone cares about me 😭 then it goes back to #childhood trauma 😂 dude i cant lie being neglected while still having both parents is some thing else #cause its like I had both but they were always at work and when they got home would be so mean to each other mainly my dad to my mother; #the only did they'd ask if i was hungry but by the time grandma came to live with us that stopped and so they would not really talk to me #like i was talking to my cousin Richard on the night of the party; he asked why i dont talk to my dads side of the family #and he's super drunk and starts belittle and make light of the situation before i even start the main reason. so i told him to stop talking #over me and let me finish and stop belittling and making light of the reasons why i stopped talking to them entirely #then he got butt hurt and ended up waking his wife who was sleeping in the living room to go home. #i swear i have issues that i have yet to address lol and going to therapy doesnt work cause it makes me super uncomfortable so i stop going #after the first visits #😮‍💨 i can be so overwhelming why am i like this just cause they're nice to me doesnt mean they actually like me or even like like me 😭 #i need to be better at accepting people's kindness without falling attached or like liking them a lot LMAO. #personal

[horce-divorce]

I originally was making these into keychains bc they are about the size of a business card, but with the tiny magnets they aren't super portable.

recently I thought they'd make nice altar/mantelpiece toys instead. I remembered these tiny easels I saw at the store, painted it to match, and am completely obsessed w these all over again lol

I know it's only 8 months to Halloween so maybe these are outta season, but I would love to sell a few more of these if anyone wants a custom >:)

To best of my knowledge these are all OOAK. I found some other trick ouija boards, like this electromagnetic one running on Python scripts (which is very sexy if I do say so myself), but I don't know anyone else selling miniature magnetic ones that are not themselves simple thin refrigerator magnets.

I use Puduo epoxy resin and a mold from Gea Creations @ IG. The rest of the inclusions (glitter, dye, flowers etc) are variously sourced/salvaged from my craft bins.

#me #art #resin art #say something nice i am so stupid proud of this little idiot toy i made lmao #i know i was just bitching about how doing resin is eating me alive and i have to stop #but i need to a) get rid of the resin i have or else it goes to waste #b) make money to live #it makes me feel less evil if im doing a custom too bc then it's like. weve got a plan and specific vision and its paid for. #its a gamble when im just mixing plastic i don't even know will sell. then im like. why am i doing this #then im making a mess and i dont even know for sure if itll be worth it #at least when its a commission it already has a home #and this one here is Nfs. i am going to love and cherish this stupid trinket til i die #and then I'm gonna haunt it and use it to spell out swears at the living

[oatbugs]

btw the simultaneous liberty and entrapment of indecisiveness is eating me alive !

#its almost 3 am i have to be up at 6 i need to go to an embassy tmrw #i bought an alt j concert ticket i have no one to go w bc my friend flaked out but fuck it im going alone anyway . tmrw 8 pm #i have to get up and eat . back in my parents place bc they have the documents i need for embassy stuff i feel horrible in this town lmao i #would like to Leave . going home tomorrow hopefully . also watched everything everywhere all at once w my mother . she said it was a nice #movie and i was just in tears looking at her like . how do u possibly not get it !! anyway @ everyone who helped me #w skincare tips . thank u so much . i ordered a bunch of skincare stuff and it only arrived yesterday (the day before technically) and ive #started using the products and it feels so much better . also i might get involved w this project that a phd #changes its interractions w u based on that . HOWEVER u can easily see how this can be used in a Bad Way TM for like marketing and selling #biometric data etc . but also it would be so cool...anyway idk ! #have to save up for the venice module thing . i highly am thinking abt canceling it but i need to maximise my time #spent away from my parents' place at summer or else i will end it all #i wont but like i might . thinking abt taking a manifolds module next yr. and also one on fractals . and rings . #and by take i mean sneak into the lectures and ask students for seminar notes :) crying in not a maths student