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ayahimes · 4 months

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𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐘 𝐍𝐄𝐖 𝐘𝐄𝐀𝐑 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒

hi friends ! i know i'm a bit late with my post but i still wanted to post something regardless . 2023 had been one of the hardest years of my life thus far outside of the rpc , and even in it to be honest . i lost some good friends but gained some too . i've gotten to know so many of you on a deeper level and bonded with a lot of you over shared interests . so many of you have been patient with me on this blog because of school and for that i am immensely thankful ; i know you all followed because of your interest to write and i do apologize for not being able to fully deliver that due to my busy schedule . however , i do want to allot some time this year to be better about my time management . i honestly can't wait to see what this year brings !

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐘𝐀𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐑𝐎 𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐒𝐈𝐎𝐍 (´｡• ᵕ •｡`) ♡

@diaboelic : courtney . one of my best friends . i know i can write essays on why i am so happy to have you in my life but i promise i'll condense it . it's so crazy to me that we've been friends for almost two full years . it's wild because it honestly feels much longer . i know we're both busy making big moves and even if we don't talk every day i am always rooting for you . you're so down to earth and somehow understand how i'm feeling without me having to say it . please keep sending me fanart and spamming me with ig reels . i take forever to look at them sometimes but i love them !! also , im sorry you lost your streak in duolingo but i still think you're ahead of me by like 4 days everytime i do it . COURTNEY - SAN WA WATASHINO SUKINA HITORIDE ( i think this was right but probably not lmfao ) . i can't wait to hopefully explore japan with you . fingers crossed it's this year haha

@visionhcld : b , i will always write nice things about you no matter what . you've been my friend for like .... what .... this would be 6 years ?!!! GOD . you've seen the best and the worst . crazy to think that we made it !!!!! i love you so damn much and i am so lucky to have you in my life . i know we don't write a million active threads atm or talk every day like we used to , but i assure you it doesn't change our friendship . i love being able to pick up where we left off like nothing ever happened tbh . some people don't have that and tbh , i'm so fortunate to have found that with you . we have a ridiculous amount of inside jokes and years of history to pick apart but i leave you with one . jejota !!!

@fairesky : shado . we found each other through the funniest circumstances but i am so happy we did . you have been one of my closest friends these last two years and through you i met some other amazingly wonderful people ( cough leon cough ) . your kindness is immeasurable and i have truly learned so much from you because of it . you've taught me how to be nicer , how to be a better friend , how to care for others in a way i'd like to be treated , and just overall improved my life the last year with your presence . i love you so much and i'm really happy to have gotten to know you better over the course of 2023 . who else will i be an absolute simp with if not you haha

@iirath: essek , i know you're already aware but i am so damn happy to have gotten to know you better over the last year , even more so the last few months . i enjoy talking to you about life and getting to learn about who you are beyond the surface level . you're honestly SO tilt proof ( lmaoooo ) and surely never get mad when we play league . SURELY . thanks for speed running stardew valley with me and letting me run around not knowing what to do while you carry our farm to its greatest potential . you really have become one of my good friends and please know i always look forward to your good morning message in the server with the tired cat emoji haha

@shokutsus : LEON !!!!!!! ayaki will always reign supreme and have the best ship name . i will fight anyone who says otherwise . okay but let me just say i fucking love you dude . i know we haven't had a chance to have our tea talks on fortnite the last few months but i admit , those were some of my favorites . you've helped me through some really tough times and been there for me as a friend when i needed someone the most . i really enjoy thinking of the wildest plot lines for our characters while sleep deprived and playing fortnite ( tbh crackabella and anakin lore was big brained of us ) or discussing with kaine and courtney which part of the centipede we'd be . weird shit but i laugh typing it out lol . okay but fr i want this year to be the best one yet for you !! ps . send more pixel photos

@rosahope : fae , thank you for becoming one of my good friends this year . i'm so blessed to have met someone as grounded as you and i don't tell you enough . i know i'm too much sometimes and impulsive af , but you are my voice of reason and i appreciate it so damn much . you've helped me think outside the box and take things one step at a time . you're one of the realest people and i always welcome your honesty even if it's not something i may initially agree with . tbh i think that's what makes you such a good friends because you're transparent with me . i really am so happy for your big moves with your new job and i am always rooting for you no matter what !! you'll always be my chibiusa and my jessie <3

@prettyguardian : niniiiiiii . firstly , thank you for coming into my life and being such an amazing friend . i admire your tenacity , your creativity , your openness , your vulnerability . the list goes on . you've been there for me when i sought some direction in my life and for that i want to thank you . i know we have yet to write more aerti things but please know i will always gladly write them with you . you've helped me heal with ff . i know that sentence may sound silly at some level but it is a big thing . really !! your friendship has only added improvement within my life and i can't wait to see where it goes this year . sending you all the good vibes for 2024 !!

@cybrvce : light !!!! i'm so fortunate to have gotten to know you more over the last year and actually write with you . your characterization is truly amazing and i'm always impressed with everything you write . yes im slow as molasses but i promise it doesn't mean it's because i don't care !! i just want to write for you when i'm at my best because i want to give you quality writing !! thank you for being patient with me though . you're so kind <3 i'm genuinely so excited to start this year with your friendship !!

@deadn30n : LOOK HERE ALEXANDRA . YOU MADE IT ON THIS LIST BECAUSE YOU ARE JUST A GEM . i know we only recently became friends but in that short amount of time we bonded by playing league for like 5 hours straight lmfao . thank you for feeling comfortable enough to ask me for advice and direction though . it means a lot to me more than you know !! also i am here to write yone and kai'sa mutually fangirling/fanboying over each other . that thread is so cute and i am excited to see where it goes . ALSO I'M A NOOB AT XIV SO YOU'VE BEEN WARNED . heck im just bad at all video games lmao . but i look forward to playing them with you !!!!

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐓𝐑𝐈 𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐒𝐈𝐎𝐍 (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

i can't write about everyone , but i can sure as hell tag you all . please know that even if we haven't actively written it doesn't mean i don't want to . i still support you as a writer and creator and enjoy seeing you on my dash !! i have hopes that maybe we can write some day ! but i know we're all busy or overwhelmed with things outside of the rpc so there's obviously no rush . and if we have written or talked then please know that you have truly made my experience here something amazing . i was always a bit scared to come back to such a big fandom , but so many of you have welcomed me in writing ayaka and given me the opportunity to explore her more . so thank you <3

@zaihuos , @autymns , @wcvensouls , @enjomo , @todestochter , @yizao , @ungest , @raikuro , @tealsteel , @sourcewater , @dcndrohime , @rikyos , @nekasu , @meropidas , @scarletooyoroi , @viaetor , @abyssin , @crownlcsking , @raytm , @iedolon , @noctumsilenced , @noctuafought , @capravulpes , @liightbringr , @chiheru , @foliarlight , @mercyburned , @apocryphis , @anostos , @theoneandonii , @gonguji , @sinspast , @mellodiies , @pietys , @knghted , @dualisume , @artificeheart , @erabundus , @momijiba, @supportingfire , @cloudhymn , and honestly all of you .

#˚ ༘ ❅ ⋆｡˚ ꕥ ━━ ❆ ( 綾華 / ooc )#again in sorry if i missed anyone !!#i was rushing to post this before it hit jan 2 here lmao #im truly big fans of you all and hope this 2024 is off to a good start !!#may 2024 be kinder to everyone in the rpc #edit: so i couldn't tag a lot of blogs bc tumblr wouldn't let me so i actually had no choice but to condense it A LOT #ugh im sorry to anyone i left out !!!

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dropthedemiurge · 3 months

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15 people, 15 questions

Got tagged by @xagan (you're amazing and I already knew it but what is Lima Lama?!) and @istilldontunderstand (all hail being jack of all interests and useless to capitalism! very relatable) and @non-binarypal7 (didn't know you eanted to do environmental activism! That's so cool)

1. Are you named after anyone?

No, I have one of the most typical names in my country. But it's good that every person has several nicknames here, I have more than 15! 😆 And I love my name because it's unisex.

2. When was the last time you cried?

I don't usually cry in life beside RSD triggers so I allow myself to feel things while watching movies and reading fanfics... Probably shed a tear recently during 5th episode of Twins (hello to exhausted, overworked and underappreciated Sprite)). Honestly, some good angst fics do make me cry, I love angst fics and catharsis.

3. Do you have kids?

No, and I'm not good with them until they are the age where I can teach them many hella cool nerdy things. But I'm learning now with my sister's toddler, I'm out of my comfort zone but she says he likes me already so I win xD I can definitely see myself as a good mentor to kids/teens later but parent? Probably a bad one.

4. What sports do you play/have you played?

I have ADHD so I have tried swimming, martial arts, ballet and gymnastics. I was kicked out of 2 of those xD But I do love table tennis, like volleyball and I was acrobatic cheerleader for a few years!

5. Do you use sarcasm?

Yeah, I love using it in a very playful manner among friends - which is not a typical thing, as I know. On the other hand, when I get angry or someone hurts/attacks me, I actually turn to a very cold, official and diligently spelled out style. Hurt my feelings? I am writing you a letter aka A.Burr :D

6. What’s the first thing you notice about people?

Their vibes! I might not remember how they look or what's their name later, but I'm definitely noticing and reading you through vibes. Same with discords, most likely.

7. What’s your eye color?

Grayish blue. I get told that I have really nice eyes (even strangers in foreign countries keep telling me that for some reason unprompted). My friends, tho, say I have drugged eyes with large pupils so i guess, that's compliment too xD

8. Scary movies or happy endings?

Horror movies are porn substitution, and I'm ace so the answer is obvious. Deserved happy ends are good!

9. Any talents?

Hmmm being always curious and hence, learning many new awesome skills? It's something I always encourage others to do, too.

10. Where were you born?

Russia unfortunately or fortunately? i'm still figuring it out

11. What are your hobbies

Creating media+tech things (ranging from IG filters to making my own mini games), translating (Russian, English, Korean and currently learning Thai), drawing fanarts (one day hopefully webtoons...), writing fics (currently learning nice storytelling in English)

12. Do you have any pets?

Yes, a very fluffy black-white Cheshire Cat. He's as mischievous as you can guess ^W^

13. How tall are you?

1.65

14. Favorite subject in school?

Informatics, Arts, sitting in school library and reading everything after classes

15. Dream job?

I have a bucket list of all skills/professions that I want to try, and I've currently crossed off most of them, except for gamedev. I ever wrote articles about K-pop and Thai BLs professionally!

I keep changing jobs every year oops but I still manage to be not bad at them. I think I can suit some place that needs brainstorming, making art and coding together! But it's a career that I'm trying to kickstart now Тт For now I'm a bit too busy with returning to Korea...Hopefully, one day I'll stop getting bored of jobs ^^'

That was fun, thank you guys! Not tagging anyone to save from pressure but you can tag me to read through yours or tag yourself with my blessing :]

#me #droptheask #tagged #tag game

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facade · 9 months

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art vent, kind of makes me look like a shallow person

FOR clarification i'm 20. turning 21 in two months. yippee! what an eye opener

the point of trying to profit your art, especially using your art to help fund for survival since you were 11 - you realize that while you want to improve your art for yourself, you're so consciously aware of what parts would appeal to strangers who see your art.

because you don't want to appeal to others to enjoy your art, you want to appeal to others to garner money and funds. i've ebegged on this site for almost a decade, on so many different accounts and even used my art as much as i could to get even more money. to pay bills, to pay for food, to help my mother in medical emergencies. since i was only 11 years old, by the way. a lot of the time, while it is a huge part of my reason to keep improving -- i don't actually think of reasons such as improving my art because 'i want to go to college' 'i want to be better' as much as my main reason being: i want this to sell to people.

that being said, my art style is something im so happy with right now for myself. but i think like. you have to really make your art your signature. that way, people will want to buy what you can give them. but algorithm is just, so hard to fight with now. the heartbreaking part is that, even if i'm at my 'peak' in art.

and my art has always been my one consistent interest, thats never faded. it's apart of my daily life. my routine, my medicine, my hobby, my enjoyment. i need this to live in many different ways. whether it be for providing my funds via commissions, coping art for trauma, or generally to express my happiness for things in my head, etc. i need this hobby or i will die. its the one skill ive had my entire life thats stuck, and its something i'm *good* at. and i've kept up with it to this day.

my art looks consistently good. flattering. i would say at some points it feels.. professional, sometimes. i am consistently proud and satisfied with my art and haven't struggled on pieces as much as i used to several years ago. it took me 2 months to come up with illustrations. now ive been pumping them out with ease. commissions are so much faster. quicker. ive really upgraded. i'm efficient, quick, and my stylization journey has been amazing.

yet..

this has been the hardest i've ever fucking struggled to make money, ever. since i was 11 years old. i've never.. had so much difficulty. i feel spoiled, honestly, when i know so many other artists struggle filling commissions too. but i've always had good fortune, i guess. good luck. but not since the year began. it's been so hard to fill in requests, so hard to fill slots. even when my prices are cheaper, it's still so hard. which is crazy, because 2 years ago i was consistently filling slots like crazy. i had consistent income, for the most part. i was able to help my family, avoid eviction, pay for water, clothes, food. emergencies like car wrecks, medical stuff -- god, its insane how much my art has helped me. it's scary. to think about what woulld happen if i didnt have this skill.

back then, like my art looked like this in 2021.

i look back and i wonder. this is fine, its definitely my art style. but how did i makee so much money off of stuff like this? so much more than i do now? i still draw fanart, and my art's been getting better. i think its honestly just bad luck, or maybe algorithm has flopped a lot of my stuff. either way, it's sort of humbling. Extremely humbling, that even with all this improvement - it still may not be enough to get me anywhere. i've never struggled before, trying to open commissions even when ive always focused on original content primarily. i know its hard to get popularity when you only draw ocs, but ive been fine for the most part. getting by, until lately.

i think i'll just have to keep working harder. see what people enjoy, but its just really ego crushingi think. And i could care less about popularity or anything. i think the really awful part is that im just stressed all the time about how i can keep making money off of this when its been so hard to even fill slots, let alone gaining peoples interests. Is this competition related? is this just a shit time for artists? am i just flopping. Who knows.. ohwell. ill survive

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erabundus · 7 months

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anonymous &&. said... I will forever enjoy seeing Ren and Kazuha on my dash. The way you and Milla write is so beautiful like it really feels like you guys are writing a story together of your muses. I'm enjoying every moment of it. ~A big KazuRen fan!!

ANON, THIS IS SO SWEET ... 🥺i always feel so incredibly fortunate to have met such a wonderful rp partner and friend. milla is a delight to write with and i enjoy each and every one of our threads very much. i never feel pressured to hold ren back or have him act in a way that seems out of character simply to suit a certain storyline — we just allow our muses to do whatever comes naturally to them in the moment and work things out from there. it's been an amazingly refreshing experience, and i think it probably helps contribute to why kazuren's development seems so organic.

and it's so cool! to write a ship with someone! who is just as excited about it as i am! i never feel like i'm bothering milla when i ramble about our muses. we spend a lot of time sharing fanart and headcanons and kazuren-coded cat pictures. i've been writing on tumblr for a very long time, but i've never met someone i'm just so comfortable brainrotting with. we clicked really quickly and it's been an unforgettable experience ever since. ( it feels like we've been friends for so much longer than we have! both of our blogs will be one year old next month! ) this ship makes us incredibly happy, and it's so nice to hear there are other people out there who have fun with it as well!

#anonymous #momijiba #𝟎𝟎𝟏 : 𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧-𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘰𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘴𝘤𝘢𝘳𝘢𝘯𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯. ◟ ooc .◝#( i want to extend my sincerest condolences for dropping all of this acerscara angst on your dash too VSJVK )

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ein-liebloser-wanderer · 2 years

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Oohh I see you write for wonderlab abnos! Can i request yandere hcs for Blue Smocked Shepherd? Thank u for your hard work and thank u for reblogging cursed big bird fanarts :)

Before you read, head's up. There will be mentions of dark content:

animal abuse, manipulation, possessive behavior, and of course, a yandere

I don't intend to lighten certain aspects of these things, so do take heed.

Extra: Project Moon said it's up to our interpretation what the Shepherd's gender is, and considering they are based on the Boy Who Cried Wolf, I imagine they are male (or at the very least, more masculine in form). I'm not sure if that means it is up to the reader's decision to choose what to refer to them as, but for the sake of simplicity, I just refer to this Abnormality as he/him.

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⸸ F-01-?? (The Blue-Smocked Shepherd) -- Yandere Headcanons ⸸

"I spy with my little eye a lil lamb talking to a big, bad wolf. Do you think I lie when I say you shouldn't trust anyone in this place?"

The Shepherd was, and always had been, untrustworthy. His truths will always be twisted, doubled in meaning to the point of being incomprehensible. But the moment he is being honest, be afraid.

The Shepherd will make you understand that lies are often better than the truth.

⸸ On the grand scheme of things, nothing would change. Everyone knows how terrible he is in canon, and that much still applies to him as a yandere.

⸸ He would still be a dog abuser and a liar, and he would still find joy disregarding the feelings of others.

⸸ But once his possessiveness finally reveals itself, that is when you'll realize just how good of a liar he can be when he really tries. Because chances are, you wouldn't even know what this Abnormality is thinking.

⸸ You will perpetually feel as if he is playing some sort of mind game with you--because he is. But this would be different from his usual ones. Rather than warning you of breaches, he is...conversing with you. Or at least, that's what it seems like on the surface, but of course, nothing good ever comes from talking with him.

⸸ What may seem like innocent questions about your day will lead to insults disguised as teasing comments, which then lead to him somehow tearing down your self-esteem.

⸸ Another facet I find interesting about the Shepherd is his absurd level of awareness over the other Abnormalities. Because of it, I imagine he would be one of the very few with a high level of lucidity.

⸸ He would be far from being delusional, and it is his mental clarity that would make him so, so terrifying to go against.

You could easily fool a delusional puppy into listening to you with the right words and actions...but how would you convince someone who knows you hate them...but simply doesn't care?

⸸ The Shepherd, being the guardian of the flock that he claims to be, would know everything about his Darling's routine. He would know where you are, what you are and will be doing, and which Abnormality you will work on. Nothing you do can be kept a secret from the him.

⸸ He wouldn't care if you worked on most Abnormalities. Most of them are pathetic or pitiful, anyway, and none of them could ever attain the same attention (paranoia) and deep feelings (hatred) you hold for him.

⸸ But heavens forbid if you pay any sort of attention on that sorry excuse of a wolf, that stupid dog that cannot even decide or do anything for itself.

⸸ It doesn't deserve your care and affection. That idiot is already beyond saving. It cannot even die. Why waste your breath?

⸸ Rather fortunate that you have...what was it you called it, a 'heart'? That very same thing you are proud of, the Shepherd will use against you. I hope you can stand to see your precious little buddy massacring down the entire facility.

~~~ End ~~~

Message to Anon: Hehe, I'm happy to know someone loves these cursed gems as much as I do. And if you have read this far, I would like to just say that I am very happy to see you hanging around, Anon! I'd love to see you stick around for more! Feel free to send requests for whomever or simply just to stop by and share. I'm just...obsessed with Project Moon...

#yandere headcanons #yandere blue smocked shepherd #yandere lobotomy corporation #yandere lobotomy corp #yandere lobcorp #yandere wonderlab #yandere project moon #unknown classification #love-eldritch

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marshmallowprotection · 1 year

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I would like to tell you something. I am a person who loves Saeran very much, as well as his route and after finishing, I feel quite satisfied that I helped him to get his happy ending. I just want to protect him and tell him every day how much I love and admire him. However, there was a moment when my love for him broke, I don't know how to say it, I couldn't love him like I used to, it felt so weird and painful.... Do you know why? 5 months ago I wanted to play his route again and when Suit Saeran arrived with his insults and everything.... Specifically in the scene where he grabs my shoulders and says he's capable of killing me something in me snapped.... And it's the strangest thing that ever happened to me! I had played the route several times before and although his words hurt me at the time they didn't affect me as much as they did 5 months ago. I couldn't stop hearing his insults in my head; that I'm worthless, that I'm dumb, stupid, that I annoy him, that he hates me, etc. I felt really bad. When I was with GE Saeran and he was treating me sweetly a part of my brain was telling me that he was lying to me, that he doesn't really love me and that as soon as I turn around he will hurt me :'(

I seriously had a really hard time during those 5 months, I just wanted to imagine cute scenarios with him but I always came back to see Suit yelling at me and ruining everything. I came to the conclusion that I was too scared of him (I was scared to be scared of him! I love him so much).

I understood everything that was happening to him and I sincerely forgave him.

All this made me question many things: did I really forgive him? do I love him? does Saeran love me?

I tried to solve it: playing the route, watching fanarts, reading fanfics and your blog of course! everything that would help me to love Saeran like before and it didn't work....

So I had no choice but to give myself some time, yes, I had to stay away from Saeran for a while to see if I could calm down and get those negative thoughts out. I tried to do other things, think about other things.... I wanted to take some time for myself and understand myself.

Fortunately, about a week ago I started thinking about Saeran again. And guess what! All the fear I had of him vanished, I was happy again in my imagination with him! It was like finding peace. I know it all started with Suit Saeran and yes, it's completely valid to think that what he did to me was very wrong but I forgive him because I understand him and I want him to know that I love him as much as I love Ray. I rewatched the story mode when he asks for my forgiveness and all that fear I had for him went away and now I'm happy.

I wanted to tell you that haha and know what you think about it. I also want to tell you that I love your blog and I'm glad to read everything you tell about Saeran in all its versions. I hope you too continue to love him as much as I do. Take care!

I think it's perfectly justifiable to go through what you went through. You're allowed to be angry and upset with him about all the things that happened. He understands if you are upset with him and if you need time to come to terms with everything that happened.

If you want nothing to do with him, he would understand it 100%. He wouldn't push the subject or make you feel like you need to forgive him. He makes it clear when he apologizes to you that you don't need to accept his apology. He holds himself accountable and he promises to make things right. But, you don't have to forgive him immediately. You don't have to click that option if you don't feel ready.

I think that might be a healthy response for most people. He doesn't expect you to forgive him. He certainly doesn't forgive himself. He's going to be carrying what he did on his back for a long time. It isn’t until GE Saeran confronts his demons that he can forgive himself for what happened with Suit Saeran. It takes confronting the very things that brought him to be so angry in the first place for him to forgive himself after you have decided to forgive him.

You needed time and energy to be able to confront all of your feelings about it. That is only natural. You needed time to come to terms with all of it. It makes sense. I'm glad that you were able to take some time away from him to think about why it made you scared and what you needed to think about to be able to be comfortable with him again.

I'm glad that you have him as a comfort character and that you have been able to make peace with the conflicts that happened.

Saeran loves you. You should never ever doubt that. That fact will always remain unchanging until the end of time. He will love you anew just like every season. That's what his Love Song speaks to. It is a love that will only continue to grow every time the seasons come and go.

#ask #anon #mod kait #suit saeran

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youraveragekilljoy87 · 9 months

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Dearest @rose-fairryy,

As I write this I’m listening to No One Knows Who I Am from J&H. Very vibey, it is. I have good news and bad news; The good news is that I discovered why my room has been smelling horrid. Julie’s cat started shitting in my closet whenever I leave my door open because she’s too lazy to go to her litter box upstairs. Fortunately, none of my clothes or anything have feces on them. The bad news is that now that I’ve uncovered the source of the smell, air is getting to it and now the smell is much stronger. I know how to get rid of it, but it’s still extremely unpleasant. I also woke up with a migraine, which forced my eyes shut and made me fall back asleep, which made the migraine even worse when I woke up. I’ve been drinking water and taking Midol and ibuprofen and it still hasn’t improved. Why must this be my cross to bear in this life? Can’t I have something typical like homosexuality to deal with? Oh. I do have that. I have both! I’m a gay who suffers from migraines! It could be much worse, but it could be much better. I think I have OCD because my tech posters keep bothering me due to them being slightly off. I’ll straighten them against the wall, but they end up coming loose anyway somehow, and even if I spend way too long making sure they’re level, the next time I see them they always seem slightly off. It’s driving me insane. At least I’m getting around to cleaning my room. Also, I might start liking more country music because Morgan Wallen actually has a lot of very Sad Songs TM that I can relate to a strange majority of my OCs. Oh, now Blow Us All Away is playing. Might cry, love, you know how it is. I’ve also seen Malevolent fanart and tumblr posts being reposted to Pinterest, which makes me very happy because when I first started listening to it, there were nothing but these two fanarts. Now it’s flooding my dash. Very cool! I’m very bored now that there isn’t any tech, and I want to spend time with you really really bad because I don’t feel as close to anyone as I do you, except perhaps Ava, but I’ve been around her way too long this past week. Oh, Wenn ich tanzen will. I have to finish cleaning my room. Good morning in advance! I hope you slept well.

- Mac <3

#no because it hurts to even look at my phone #my mom was having me watch a Morgan wallen lyric video #and I’m just #trying not to pass out #because my eyes hurt so bad and I feel so so sleepy

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blackmonitor · 2 years

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It’s time to reconvene The Asker’s Studio™️ because I’ve got questions!

It is my exceedingly good fortune @blackmonitor that you are reading @myevilmouse Conflicting Aesthetics at same time I am, so that I reap the benefits of your artistic talents. In chapter 3, Mouse drops a heavy paragraph relating the frustrations that our artist, Seta, is experiencing whilst sketching Thrawn:

It wouldn’t be perfect. That was the problem with truly fascinating subjects. Capturing his aura was the best she could hope for. Thrawn, even half-naked, exuded command. The sense of power, a demeanor of authority was prevalent, almost but not completely camouflaging a latent vulnerability. Not self-consciousness, something else. Seta could see it, imagined Thrawn would deny it existed, but wouldn’t be content until its flavor was imbued in the lines of her art. It was the sum total, everything wrapped in a charismatic fog of mystery, emphasizing the thing that made him most alien—which also made him intriguing and attractive beyond the physical.

I asked the omniscient Mouse if she was 1. An artist 2. If she was, was this description from experience? The answer was No on both counts. WHUT?! I am not satisfied with this answer. I need to know MORE!

So my dear honest to goodness real artist: Could you please reflect on the paragraph above from an artist’s point of view.

Hint: short answers are not acceptable (jk) 🤣

For those of you who have not seen the portrait that Seta was frustrated over, @blackmonitor has done us the great favour and rendered it for us, exquisitely. (Check out all of her work - it’s pure gold yummy greatness)

Portrait courtesy of @blackmonitor

As always: you have the floor. Thank you for the generosity of your time and talent!

Welcome! Oh wow… Let me just…

“So my dear honest to goodness real artist...”

Oh yes, that paragraph! That was chilling! And I had the opportunity to read it as a lost artist who didn't draw anything for YEARS, and now, as someone who brought joy to many people with my silly drawings. In both cases, it touched something in my soul.

First of all, let me talk about the method of my drawings - not the technical details I already described here.

So art, for me, is about communication - communicating something to the viewer, even in a portrait or anything. It should tell a story, an emotion, or just some vibes to the viewer. Otherwise, it has no point (according to my point of view, but this is highly subjective, so forgive me if yours are different).

For example, take my first Thrawn portrait.

Before I started to draw it, I wondered what I should draw - how to draw him. Back then, I read the first Ascendancy book, so it was obvious that I wanted to see him in that uniform. So when I found my reference from the comic, I changed it to communicate what I wanted - a man destined for greatness who failed.

But how? Well, my method is this - in mind, I became that person (like writers do it). I imagine how he would act, what he would feel… general things. And when I can see that back from my display, I'm happy. Like Seta, I always put my interpretation of the character into the drawing - the posture, the expression, and emotion. @myevilmouse did a beautiful work of describing all those things and the struggle!

The overall vibes and emotions are always superior to the technique or realism in my art. I want to communicate basic understandings in a pleasant form. Sometimes this works better, and sometimes it's not. But I always worked like this even before I did fanarts. So for me, Seta's struggle is real! But I never tried to reach hyperrealism 🤭 That's not for me. Swift projects, maybe a few days on them, move on to something different.

Similarly, in writing, @myevilmouse wrote down beautifully the struggle of sketching someone sitting in front of you, and you know almost nothing about him. In cases like that, I usually use my imagination. Fill out the gaps. I have a basic knowledge of personalities which I use these times. And while I am drawing someone, I'm always thinking about them - not necessarily them in the picture, but other different situations - filling those gaps in my mind.

The goal for me is to put something into the picture. When that something is "looking back to me," I'm happy. Maybe it's something only I can sense, Idk. But that's my goal, similar to what Seta felt as @myevilmouse described it.

For me, Thrawn is a fascinating individual to draw - because he is a great character! And there is so much potential in him.

Thank you for this opportunity to share my thought about this exciting subject!

#ask #asnwer #ask box #blackmonitor #too long answer #my method of drawing #The Asker’s Studio™️

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thelazyhermits · 2 years

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Submitted by @goldentlme

SURPRISE ITS A REDRAW !!!!! ive sent the last 2 versions before so i wont inculde them here [:

anyways i was looking thru my files and found the old versions and thought Wow … Its been like a year since i did that Lets redraw it ! and then i went all out .

( the mismatched shoelaces were 100 % a gift . either from mina or hagakure i couldnt decide ) Enjoy …… smiele

—————————

Awwwww, this is so cute! I love your version of Fortune and how you draw the hero costume. Your art just gets better and better 💕💕

I love how you included the earring and how Fortune’s Quirk looks while active, and those mismatched shoelaces are too cute. Hopefully, those are given to Fortune after the events of Silver Lining since I’d hate for those to be the shoelaces that break lol

Thank you for sharing this with me!! 💕💕💕

#TABF fanart #TABF #I am always happy to see Fortune fanart #fortune looks so badass and adorable #just the way I like my Fortune XD #the blue glowing eyes look so cool #love everything about this

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undertale-data · 3 years

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[Image Description: An Undertale chat box that has “WHY FANS LOVE UNDERTALE” at its center. Next to it are a line chart and an Egg from the Dating Hub on its left, and a CRIME measurer (also from the Dating Hub) on its right. End I.D.]

[Image Description: a pie chart titled, “LEVEL OF LOVE FOR UNDERTALE.” The textbox on the top right reads, “On a scale of 1 to 10, 1 being the least and 10 being the highest, how much do fans enjoy Undertale?” From the top going clockwise, 12 or 0% chose 5 and below; 23 or 1% chose 6; 98, or 4%, chose 7; 325, or 12%, chose 8; 529, or 20%, chose 9; and 1664, or 63%, chose 10. End I.D.]

It’s clear from all of the data analyzed so far that fans who took the time to answer our survey love Undertale. It is unlikely that they would have taken the time to answer so many questions if they had not, and even less likely that they would have come across our survey in the first place. Naturally, it comes as no surprise that 63% of our responders gave their love for Undertale a score of ten out of ten. 95% gave their love for Undertale a score of eight or higher, and only 12 responders responded with five or below, a number so small that their responses had to be lumped together to be visible on the pie chart. Of those, only 3 responders gave their love for Undertale a score of 1, and based on those responders’ other answers, it is likely that they were only intending to troll. We are very fortunate that the vast majority of responders took the survey seriously, enough so that responses like this are barely a blip in the data.

Now, for our final analysis post of the event, we will delve into the reasons that fans love Undertale so dearly.

(Essay and highlights under the cut.)

There have been countless essays on the impact that Undertale has had on people’s lives. I can hardly add more on the subject than what has already been said, but I hope this summary can provide a brief overview of what stood out among the over two thousand answers given in response to this survey. That said, due to the sheer volume of answers, I could not read every single one in depth—however, I did skim all of them, and some that stood out or were representative of several responses have been highlighted below. If you would like to see what every fan who consented to share their response had to say, you may view the full list of responses here. Note that these responses have not been edited in any way. This document may take a long time to load, as it is over 100 pages long.

(Warnings for mentions of suicidal thoughts in the following essay.)

Several responders loved the theme of choices mattering in Undertale. Whether people played the pacifist, merciless, or neutral routes, they enjoyed how the game reacted to their actions. For some, it even made them consider their own morality. One touching response explained the impact that the theme of mercy made on them. “I realized that Mercy isn't something that's given to those who deserve it. Flowey didn't deserve it. I don't deserve it myself. Shoot, we ALL need Mercy in our lives.” Many fans left similar comments about how the themes of Undertale made them better people.

Undertale changed how its fans treat others, and it also changed how fans treat themselves. The theme of staying determined and the messages of hope in the game were a light to a very large portion of fans. I cannot list all of the fans who said that Undertale helped them out of a dark place, or that they would not be alive if not for Undertale. “DETERMINATION became a metaphor for not killing myself at a really rough time in my life and I’ll always cherish that. Undertale isn’t afraid to go to really dark places but at the same time holds on so tight to its hope.”

Undertale brought fans together in unexpected ways. Some said they met friends or significant others through the fandom. “I wouldn't have met my now husband without Undertale,” one fan said. A different fan who is non-native English speaking mentioned that the game and the fan community helped them to learn English.

It would be impossible to discuss Undertale without mentioning the fan community. Whether for good or bad, many responders mentioned the fandom in their responses. Overall the feelings towards the fandom seem positive, though many made references to “toxic” parts of the fandom without specifying which parts they consider toxic. Others rejected the idea of toxicity in fandom. One response said: “[SLAMS FIST ON DESK] I KNOW MOST PEOPLE SAY THE FANDOM IS TOXIC AND CRINGE OR WHATEVER BUT OH MY GOD. The Undertale fandom, both the UTMV and the actual UT fandom, has been so much fun to be a part of. I've met countless friends because of our shared interest in something related to the game! The art people create can be breathtaking and so inspirational, and the fanfics are so so good!! I've seen people write incredible things for this fandom and it's what made me continue writing!”

One thing that makes the Undertale fandom unique is the way it embraces various AUs. Some fans are tired of AU content, but the majority of responses show a love for the creativity behind AUs. “Roll your eyes at the 50th AU Sans all you want, it's encouraging people to step outside the boundaries of fanart and pushing people to make their own ideas! I mean, hell, it was how I gained the confidence to start making my own original content.” The lack of a judgemental atmosphere seems present in the AU community, according to the responses we saw. There is an interesting balance between AU and canon (sometimes referred to as “classic”) content that another responder pointed out: “The fandom helped keep the game alive all these years, with all of its AUs. Although personally, I always enjoyed AUs that kept characters as close to the classic material as possible (dancetale, outertale) I do appreciate the creativity of the fandom. They almost created entirely new stories with new characters of their own! If it weren't for those people, the Undertale fandom would have probably not been as active as it is now. I do feel like we're getting a resurgence of classic content now too! (In 2021)”

Regardless of the many AUs the fandom has created over the years, the original game of Undertale still feels like home for many fans. They wished they could reclaim the feeling of playing the game again for the first time, but even though we can’t reset time in real life, there is still a special feeling for fans each time they play Undertale. One fan said, “Even the best fics I've read can't capture that feeling of nostalgia/almost-"coming home" that comes with hearing the music and talking to the characters.” This feeling is one that can be cherished time and time again. In the words of another responder: “It always feels welcoming like home or like comfort food that I never grow tired of no matter how many times I go to it.” Others pointed out the strength of the found family trope in Undertale, which likely contributes to this feeling of “home” as well.

As mentioned briefly earlier, the music is part of what makes Undertale feel like home for fans. Even when responses focused on other aspects of the game, many would throw in a comment about the soundtrack at the end. One comment focused on the music said “IT'S SO GOOD like I will literally go through the entire thing over and over and not be bored with it. It makes my monkey brain so happy you have no idea.” Like with the game itself, the music has incredible replay value, an amazing feat considering most of the tracks use the same few motifs. “I think what I like the most about Undertale is how the music attaches you to the story,” another responder said. “They're simple melodies that stick with you throughout the whole game, and they can remind you of both good and bad times.”

If the music sticks with fans in their hearts, then the game’s lore sticks with fans in their minds. Even six years after the release of Undertale, fans are still creating new theories and digging up new secrets. The way the game breaks the fourth wall in particular intrigued many fans and has stuck out through all these years. The awareness that the game shows for the RPG genre makes it memorable. The game plays with the player’s expectations and turns them on their heads, all while reminding the player that they’re in a game. There are few other games that do this on such a large scale, so it’s no surprise that fans cite this as one of their favorite things about Undertale.

Lastly, the LGBT+ representation in Undertale has been a huge draw for fans. Especially in 2015, the sheer volume of non-cishet characters was unprecedented, as one fan pointed out: “It's practically unheard of to see so MANY from just one source, especially during its heyday in 2015-16. Hell, you can't even GET the true pacifist ending without helping two gay couples hook up. It's really nice to see all of them being accepted for who they are and not judged for their sexuality or gender, at least in-canon.” The LGBT+ cast including Frisk, Chara, Napstablook, Monster Kid, Mettaton, Alphys, and Undyne each connected with fans in unique ways. It’s clear how important this is from responses such as: “There are canon nonbinary characters 🥺. i have never seen representation of myself before.” “It made me gay and trans so thanks for that.”

Once again I am overwhelmed with just how much there is to say about Undertale. One responder really understood when they compared Undertale to an iceberg, explaining that there are so many layers to the game that there is something for everyone: “everyone can find something to enjoy in the lore/game regardless of what kind of fan they are! Being able to appeal to various types of fans—from simple happy shipper people to deep dive lorediggers—is the mark of the coolest games!” I would have to agree with them.

It’s been six years, and despite everything, it’s still you. Thank you for reading, participating in this survey, and above all, staying determined.

Highlights:

DETERMINATION became a metaphor for not killing myself at a really rough time in my life and I’ll always cherish that. Undertale isn’t afraid to go to really dark places but at the same time holds on so tight to its hope.

I think the coolest thing was having the opportunity to watch the AU community grow from its bare roots. It's nearly insane how big and complex it's gotten, unlike anything I'd ever seen before. Roll your eyes at the 50th AU Sans all you want, it's encouraging people to step outside the boundaries of fanart and pushing people to make their own ideas! I mean, hell, it was how I gained the confidence to start making my own original content.

i love how the lgbt rep is so naturalized... there are just gay people! and its nobodys business!

The music is my go to answer, but what I really really REALLY love is how the minor characters have so much personality to them when you talk to them. They aren't incredibly important to the overall story, but they're all so likeable and diverse that you just can't help but like them immediately!

I think it was the first videogame I have played that broke the fourth wall that much. Of course there has been other videogames that broke it but just for one or two tongue-in-cheek jokes. The guilt of killing mama goat was also something intense as well that I appreciated as an experience and that I didn't think a videogame could cause on someone.

I love how no character can be seen as completely bad! Everyone builds up Asgore as some horrible villain, but he turns out to be a 'fuzzy pushover' who's broken and just wants his family back by the time you meet him. Then you think Flowey's an irredeemable killer who engineered the suffering of the monsters across many timelines, and he is... but he also used to be the kind and beloved Prince Asriel Dreemurr, traumatized by his death and subsequent rebirth, projecting his best friend onto you.

The fact that choices matter in the game. Your first playthrough and getting the golden ending for the first time. I can never replicate those feelings again, wish I could erase my memories and replay the game from the start.

I wouldn't have met my now husband without Undertale.

(Toxic parts of the fandom aside) The community is possibly one of the kindest I've ever met. Cringe culture is completely dead, and I feel like I can be myself. I felt a very close connection to many of the characters, and I loved consuming content about them when I was in a rough patch in my life.

just everything, the whole game has just impacted my life so much. i know it sounds really lame, but when the game first came out, i would purposely put my hands in my pockets and sway slightly, like sans' idle animation. of course i dont do that anymore haha, but undertale still really impacts me to this day, and i wouldnt have it any other way :)

it made me gay and trans so thanks for that

I realized that Mercy isn't something that's given to those who deserve it. Flowey didn't deserve it. I don't deserve it myself. Shoot, we ALL need Mercy in our lives.

The thing I love most about Undertale is no matter how many times I play or watch a playthrough it always makes me genuinely happy. It always feels welcoming like home or like comfort food that I never grow tired of no matter how many times I go to it. Toriel still makes me feel all warm and cozy in her home, the Skelebros always make me laugh, and I still cry on the inside watching Frisk comforting Asriel. And on the flip side the No Mercy run still invokes the negative emotions in me as well. In short Undertale just feels like a second home to me and I always wish I could stay.

The reader inserts are my favorite way to decompress after a hard day

I think Undertale helped me discover my love for 8-bit games, and made me realize how IMPORTANT music is in video games.

the worldbuilding and character design are my favorite parts of the main game apart from the music! I’m also a huge fan of the random AU music- not for like underswap or underfell i like the stuff where someone makes a megalovania for a random au where gru from despicable me replaces sans as the character. i think its funny

Just... the vibe, honestly? Even the best fics I've read can't capture that feeling of nostalgia/almost-"coming home" that comes with hearing the music and talking to the characters.

there are canon nonbinary characters 🥺. i have never seen representation of myself before.

[SLAMS FIST ON DESK] I KNOW MOST PEOPLE SAY THE FANDOM IS TOXIC AND CRINGE OR WHATEVER BUT OH MY GOD. The Undertale fandom, both the UTMV and the actual UT fandom, has been so much fun to be a part of. I've met countless friends because of our shared interest in something related to the game! The art people create can be breathtaking and so inspirational, and the fanfics are so so good!! I've seen people write incredible things for this fandom and it's what made me continue writing!

There's a scene where Frisk (the player) is going towards what is presumably going to be their death. They will fight Asgore and he will use their human soul to break the barrier and free his people. The music, despite the player's impending doom, is... triumphant. You are not the triumphant one here, and yet, the score invites you to experience the monsters' joy and happiness as they tell you the tale of their subjugation. The monsters are going to be free. This is their victory, but they don't hate you or want you to die. They're just... happy. That scene has always struck me very deeply. I feel it represents the best parts of Undertale.

I loved how well thought out the Geno route was. It really made me feel like I was doing something horrible, and the characters were very obviously reacting to dire circumstances.

I dunno? I like Undertale for it's characters, story, music, secrets and many more. I am not good with Headcanons but I also like the neutral endings and how different they can depending on who you spare and kill

I was very bad at english before, i thought i couldn't progress because i was very shy and not confident. But my sibling and i wanted to have the best experience with this game so we wanted to play it in english. It's this game and the fandom which helped me to make huge progress in english !

THE SOUNDTRACK. IT'S SO GOOD like I will literally go through the entire thing over and over and not be bored with it. It makes my monkey brain so happy you have no idea.

to avoid writing an essay i will say one word. Mettaton

It is like Toby specifically made the games to fit the iceberg meme and it's awesome, everyone can find something to enjoy in the lore/game regardless of what kind of fan they are! Being able to appeal to various types of fans - from simple happy shipper people to deep dive lorediggers is the mark of the coolest games!

I love almost everything about Undertale as a game on its own. The music, the art and especially the characters and how they interact. They made me feel at home. Undertale means a huge amount to me. (I even got a tattoo of the castle when you and MK walk together!) The fandom helped keep the game alive all these years, with all of its AUs. Although personally, I always enjoyed AUs that kept characters as close to the classic material as possible (dancetale, outertale) I do appreciate the creativity of the fandom. They almost created entirely new stories with new characters of their own! If it weren't for those people, the Undertake fandom would have probably not been as active as it is now. I do feel like we're getting a resurgence of classic content now too! (In 2021)

the mystery. toby fox refused to give answers to anything and i think thats very sexy of him.

I just feel guilty for liking it so much when I'm in my 30's. But I recently got diagnosed with ASD, so I guess it explains things a bit. Many ppl consider Papyrus to be neurodivergent, and some adult fans are too, so seeing that makes me feel a bit better.

i think about "Despite everything, it's still you" everyday of my life.

I like how it's just as funny as it can be serious. All routes are this way. I laughed as much as I cried when I played the Pacifist route and then once I opened the game again and Flowey was telling me to let them be happy, I immediately turned off the game. I somehow felt bad.

The Found Family Trope

The True Pacifist Ending is just...man. And the fanworks about saving everyone even when the game doesn't let you? MANNNNNN

I think what I like the most about Undertale is how the music attaches you to the story. They're simple melodies that stick with you throughout the whole game, and they can remind you of both good and bad times.

there's honestly a LOT to love about this game, but i think one of my favorite things about it is just how many lgbt+ characters there are??? i can think of alphys, undyne, frisk, chara, mettaton, napstablook, monster kid, asgore, mad mew mew, the dress lion, the royal guards, and arguably even papyrus off of the top of my head, but im sure i'm forgetting a few from just undertale alone (there's even MORE in deltarune)!! it's practically unheard of to see so MANY from just one source, especially during its heyday in 2015-16. hell, you can't even GET the true pacifist ending without helping two gay couples hook up. it's really nice to see all of them being accepted for who they are and not judged for their sexuality or gender, at least in-canon.

[Image description: A wordcloud in the shape of the capitalized word UNDERTALE. The text is white on a black background, and uses the font found in the game. Some of the most visible words are: Game, Love, Music, Life, AU, Store, Friend, and Feel, which represent the most common words in the essays people wrote about their love for the game. End of ID]

#undertale #analysis #results #undertale fandom census

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hutchhitched · 3 years

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On Fandom

In light of recent kerfuffles, I decided to share this. Communication is helpful for fandom discussions. That’s why I’m offering up my perspective.

@little-lynx, your artwork is beautiful, and I thoroughly enjoy seeing it on my dash. Your post sharing how and why you joined the fandom is fascinating, and I’m grateful you trusted us with it. I hope you continue sharing and drawing for stories that inspire you, and that you’re able to find more stories and authors that do. That’s not to say you’re not doing enough. Whatever you want to share is awesome. I only say that because there’s so much Everlark out there that is wonderful. I hope you’re able to find more that you enjoy. If you ever read something of mine and are inspired to create, I will be thrilled. If not, I will continue to appreciate what you contribute to the fandom. Welcome, and I hope you enjoy being part of The Hunger Games community on tumblr (and AO3 and FFN, if you find works there).

@shesasurvivor, I hear you. I know what it feels like to be overlooked despite being part of a fandom for a long time. I understand the frustration of seeing others celebrated and not being one of those. You’ve been here longer than I have, and you’re one of the few who takes stands that might not be expressed by many but are shared by more than you know. You are an important part of the fandom, and I’m glad you’re still here. I hear you. I see you. You are amazing.

@katnissdoesnotfollowback, you also have very valid points. I know what it feels like to put everything you have into a fandom and it not being enough for some people. I know what it feels like to be overlooked and how it feels to be celebrated. The former sucks, and the latter is wonderful. You are an important part of the fandom, and I appreicate what you can share and wish you well when you’re not able to be here with us.

It’s always tricky to recommend blogs and lists because feelings invariably get hurt—no matter how inclusive they are. I don’t envy those of you who have tried or are attempting to make those. You’re braver than I am.

That said, it is demoralizing to be left off lists repeatedly. It’s equally frustrating to produce works and not feel like the images and/or stories are getting any attention. This is true for new(er) people who are trying to join a fandom (@mandelion82 and @endlessnightlock come to mind), former authors who’ve returned (@awhiskeyriver), and those who were around long ago and stayed for the long haul (I am one of those). Each of us wants to be part of the community. It sucks to feel left out (whether intentional or not). You are all amazing, and I see/hear you.

Yesterday, @eiramrelyat posted fanart she created for one of my stories as a surprise, and I was over the moon. It was a total surprise, and her work is stunningly gorgeous. I am beyond thankful for the gift, and I hope she understands how much it means to me. I’ve been fortunate in the past to receive artwork from @ombradellaluna and @the-tesseract-wrinkling-time and story banners from @xerxia31, @papofglencoe, @maddenmarvels, @burlesonspride, and @ronordmann, and from those who are no longer active on tumblr (loving-mellark, @akai-echo, and @myusernamehere). I am beyond thankful for your gifts.

I’ve been left off lists before, and it’s painful. Although I’m never angry at being left out, I’m often more discouraged and befuddled. I’m always fascinated to see who others view as “essential” while leaving off others. As someone who has been part of the Everlark fandom since 2013, it seems that my name should be recognizable by now. Since I’m often omitted, maybe I’m wrong. It’s not the fault of newcomers for not knowing who I am when my name doesn’t appear on lists of active blogs. How could the new people find me? The frustration comes from being a long-time contributor to the fandom and still not being deemed essential. @lovely-tothe-bone and @mrspeetamellark have both heard my frustration and reached out to me about it. Thank you both for doing so.

I have published 107 Everlark stories on AO3 and more on tumblr.

I help run @seasonsofeverlark and @talesofpanem.

I helped create the Everlark Holiday Bingo challenge that’s currently running. It would be amazing if those who are writing holiday stories would consider participating. So far, only six people from the Everlark fandom have contributed. One bingo fill is awesome if that’s all you have time to contribute. If you want to do more, please do.

I have written for @nanowrimo seven times.

I have participated in the following charity anthologies/auctions: @s2sl (twice), @fandom4lls (twice), @mores2sl (three years with five stories), @loveinpanem-blog’s A Candle for the Caribbean, @fandomforoz, @fandomtrumpshate (two years with five auctions), and @what2finish (one year with two auctions).

I have participated in the following challenges: nine out of 12 rounds of @promptsinpanem with 21 stories posted, every round of @everlarkficexchange with 16 stories posted and four more forthcoming, three years of @thgseasonofhope (this year’s not yet posted), 17 stories for @talesofpanem, eight stories for @seasonsofeverlark (with one forthcoming), three stories for @everlarkbirthdaydrabbles, 19 stores for @d12drabbles, one story for @loveinpanem-blog’s Valentine’s challenge, two multi-chaptered stories for @everlarkchristmasgifts, one multi-chaptered story for @everlarkvalentinesgifts, three stories for @everlarkianarchives, two stories for @fyeah-everlark’s Secret Santa exchange, three stories for @the-everlark-games, two rounds of the @everlark-your-own-adventure challenge, one for @winterinpanem, one for (the now defunct) wmashgchallenge, one for the Everlark drabble challenge, and one for the Peeta Mellark masturbation series.

Besides those things, I’ve also collaborated with other writers and artists (thanks, @deinde-prandium, @xerxia31, and @thegirlfromoverthepond), and I’ve published more stories that weren’t part of any official challenge. I’ve done these things because I enjoy writing and think it’s important to support the fandom and worthy charitable causes. I don’t participate because I’m looking for praise (although it’s always nice to hear from those who enjoy what I’ve created). My point is that if participating in all those things doesn’t make me an active, essential part of the Everlark fandom or make my name on tumblr or AO3 recognizable, then I simply don’t know what else to do.

As a historian, I think it’s important to know the history of the fandom, so it’s understandable and commendable to read the “classics” of Everlark. There’s a reason Dickens and Chaucer and the Bronte sisters and Edgar Allen Poe are famous. They’ve created stories that have stood the test of time. There are also new gems like The Hunger Games and Harry Potter and The Hating Game. Newer writers are vital to the success of a fandom, as well. I’ve been reading Everlark for seven years, and I still have countless seminal works I’ve not yet read. The same goes for newer writers. I’m trying, but it can be overwhelming. I’m doing the best I can while working as a full-time professor during a global pandemic, writing my own stories, being an active member of my church, being a good aunt to my nephews, supporting my friends and family (many of whom have health problems), and joining another fandom. I’m doing the best I can.

This is longer than most people will want to read, I’m sure, but please know you are not alone in feeling what you do. So many of us feel left out or ignored. So many of us are celebrated. So many of us mean the world to one or more readers/viewers. We all have our reasons for being here, and we are all part of this community. I hope I’ve contributed in at least a tiny way in making you feel welcome while you’re here.

Lots of love. Don’t send anon hate to me or anyone else. Happy holidays!

#everlark #everlark fanfiction #everlark fandom #the hunger games #the hunger games fandom #i'm really tired

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jerzwriter · 3 years

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Ethan and Kaycee Masterlist

Hello! I am in the process of tweaking the MC in my Ethan Universe from Casey MacTavish from Kaycee MacClennan. Casey will be in the Tobias/Casey universe only going forward. She will also remain in any AU’s I have previously created for Ethan x Casey, and Ethan/Casey stories that are not being converted to Ethan/Kaycee can be found here. I am updating my past Ethan/Casey stories, templates etc., however, it’s going to take a lot of time. So I appreciate your patience. Although some of the character’s traits will change slightly, it will not be drastic so the storyline will stay largely the same. I’m sorry for the confusion.

Updated 02.14.2024

Meet Kaycee MacClennan Meet Ethan & Kaycee Ethan & Kaycee Asks

SOME IMPORTANT INFORMATION ABOUT ETHAN/CASEY AND ETHAN/KAYCEE CHANGES CAN BE FOUND HERE, HERE, AND HERE.

⭐️ Personal Favorite 🔥 NSFW/18+ 🎭 Angst ☁️ Fluff 🎄 Holiday 💝 Val Day 📱 Text Fic 📷 Edits 🍼 Baby ❤️‍🩹Angsty Fluff 🎨Fanart

In chronological order

Kismet Mini-Series Beginning in childhood, six times Ethan & Kaycee met, before they “met”

Perchance to Dream 🔥 After attending a convention together in Miami, Ethan tries to get through the night after, reluctantly, turning Casey away.

While You Were Sleeping ☁️ ❤️‍🩹 ⭐️ Ethan confesses to a “sleeping” Kaycee in Minami Beach.

Stop While You’re Ahead ☁️ As they’re checking out of the hotel in Miami, Kaycee calls Ethan her husband.

be happy... 🎭 Just weeks after returning from Miami, Ethan secretly watches Bryce fill the role he so eagerly wants for himself.

Sweet Reaction ☁️🐰 Springtime is doing strange things to Dr. Ramsey - but is that really the cause?

Picture Us ☁️ ⭐️ Ethan drives Kaycee home from the opera & she learns she is always closer to him than she realized. (Post Ch. 12)

Distance 🎭 Confused over Ethan’s mixed signals, Kaycee winds up drinking too much with her friends. When Ethan shows up, he wants to help – but will he make things better or worse?

Not a Date ☁️ There’s only one resident that can tame the beast. There is only one person who could make her smile today. Fortunately, they were brought together.

Message Delivered ☁️ Friends don’t let friends text drunk, but Sienna had a rare slip up. What did Kaycee say? And how would she face Ethan tomorrow?

No Cure... ❤️‍🩹☁️ Ethan leaves work early one day and runs into Kaycee at an unexpected place. He's impressed with a project she's undertaken, but when he walks away he realizes, there is no cure. [3.19.2023]

Home 🎭 ❤️‍🩹 ☁️ Ethan is reeling in the aftermath of the attack, and only one thing brings him back home.

Stories above this line have been converted from Casey to Kaycee. Some remaining below this line are part of the Ethan x Kaycee HC, but have not been converted yet, so you’ll still see “Casey” not “Kaycee” in the fics. (It’s a lot of work!)

If you’re looking for an Ethan x Casey fic that will not be part of E/K’s HC, please go here.

Ain’t Nothing Like the Real Thing - 📱 Kaycee teases Ethan while he's out shopping, saving the best surprise for the end.

Irreplaceable ☁️ When Casey sees Bryce teasing his latest conquest with a Tik Tok challenge, she decides to do the same to Dr. “Reset”. (TikTok Tuesday)

Rapture 🔥 When Ethan spends a night at Kaycee’s apartment several weeks after the attack, she sets out to convince him that she’s not as fragile as he thinks.

A Very Scary Halloween 🎃 Kaycee is delighted to be attending their first party as a couple, but the evening takes a frightening turn for Ethan.

Abundance ☁️💘 It's Valentine's Day at Edenbrook, and things are a little different for Kaycee this year. It's their first Valentine's Day together, but they still have to keep things secret... and Ethan isn't helping.

Paging Dr. Worried 📱 Casey injures herself while out with friends, and Ethan’s inability to be there is driving him nuts.

Replies and Returns ☁️ 📱🎄 (Text fic & mini-fic) Ethan is usually the one to mess up texting, but as Kaycee and Bryce are out shopping for Christmas gifts, it’s her turn to screw up.

With You ❤️‍🩹 🔥 After dropping Louise off at rehab, Ethan & Kaycee share an emotional ride back to Boston. Kaycee assures a worried Ethan that she is there for him, always… in every way.

Dream a Little Dream ☁️ Kaycee is all too pleased to help Ethan satisfy his middle-of-the-night cravings, but when he realizes what the impetus is, he panics… how will Kaycee handle the discovery?

A Hard Task (Tik Tok Tuesday) 🔥 Casey needs to take matters into her own hands to get Ethan to put away his work.

Happy Returns 📱 Kaycee teases Ethan at a conference

Sound Asleep ☁️ ❤️‍🩹 Kaycee sneaks quietly into bed after a long day, but soon finds herself helping her boyfriend sleep the night through.

Missing You 📱Kaycee has been away for four days helping her sick father, Ethan is missing her and began scrolling through photos - and this happened.

Off the Beaten Path ☁️ Getting stuck in traffic on the way back to Boston teaches Ethan that sometimes detours are the best things of all.

What’s Cooking? ☁️ Ethan wakes up to an unusual surprise.

Almost Home ☁️ Kaycee is away at a conference, while back in Boston, Ethan realizes just how much life has changed.

Sorry, Tobias ☁️ Tobias wants Kaycee to introduce him to her gorgeous friend, but when he won't take no for an answer, Kaycee has to set him straight.

Turning Red: A Holiday Tale ☁️🎄 The usual mayhem ensues when Kaycee and her friends head out to do some holiday shopping at a local mall. She's elated to be done with shopping when she finally finds the perfect gift for Ethan, and then...

Technical Issues 📷 Ethan thinks he’ll have some fun with Kaycee, his only Instagram follower. But....

Sweet Love ☁️ Ethan finds Kaycee’s taste in breakfasts revolting. Ficlet prompt “How you made me fall in love with you is still beyond me.”

Memory Lane 📱 Ethan’s working. Kaycee’s not. He takes a little trip down memory lane.

Risky Business 📱Kaycee has an idea....

A Romcom Ending ☁️ 💘 Ethan is thanking his lucky stars. Not only has he found his perfect woman, but she also knows what's important in life - each other. Their Valentine's Day plans are so simple... he's even looking forward to them until...

Not the Life of THIS Party Ethan gets Kaycee hot and bothered when he tells her he's made a commitment for them. Kaycee loves him, but she's not about to do this.

A Unique Blend ☁️ 🎨 - (This is a story about Tobias & Ethan that takes place in the Ethan/Kaycee world) Tobias insists he's found a coffee that tops Derry's, but Ethan isn't buying it. (Fanart by @bayleedrawsx)

Celebration ☁️ (Feat. Tobias Carrick) Ethan isn't happy when Tobias announces he's leaving on a WHO mission. Kaycee humorously helps him understand why while getting a little payback to boot. In the end, is there anything to celebrate?

Fan Friction 📱Kaycee is a little excited.... Ethan is rolling his eyes.

Thankful ☁️ 🦃 Ethan and Kaycee’s Thanksgiving plans go awry, but they end up going better than they had planned. [ 11.23.2022]

This Christmas ☁️ 🎄💍 🎨 Kaycee is eagerly looking forward to picking out their Christmas tree; but Ethan turns it into a night they’ll never forget. (Fanart by @/artbyainna) [ 12.04.2022]

Picture This ☁️ 🎨 Ethan and Kaycee are off to take engagement photos, but Ethan's reluctance is putting a damper on the mood. (Fanart by @/artbyainna)

Choosing You ☁️ This is in response to this ask. How is Kaycee, a bonafide Swiftie, coping with the sad news? And how is Ethan coping with Kaycee?

Mamma Mia ☁️ Kaycee's parents are moving out of their home, and while she's there helping pack up, she makes an unsettling discovery.

Highways & Byways ☁️ Ethan & Kaycee were on an early morning drive to Providence, and while Ethan didn't notice the signs, Kaycee did... and she found them inspiring. 😉 [ 03.28.2023]

Patience 📱 Ⓜ️Kaycee’s mom asks Ethan why he hasn’t gotten her daughter an “official” engagement ring yet, and Ethan gets nervous. This is a fun text exchange between him and Kaycee afterward.

Are We Dating the Same Guy? ☁️ Sienna's dating luck hasn't been as good as she had hoped, so on the advice of her best friend, Kaycee, she is looking to see if her matches appear in the "Are we dating the same guy? Boston/Cambridge", group on Facebook. But instead of finding her most recent match, she finds... Ethan. Here are Kaycee's (and Ethan's) reactions... as well as the post itself.

As Planned ☁️ 💍Back in December, I posted This Christmas, when Ethan spontaneously (and ringlessly) proposed to Kaycee while shopping for a Christmas tree. Now, I HC that the ring isn't terribly important to either of them... and with their busy lives, it's not at the top of their to-do list. But after an engagement photo shoot without the "real" ring (Picture This), and Kaycee's mom expressing her concern (Patience), it begins to bother Ethan.

This fic begins as Ethan and Kaycee are in NY, preparing to attend his med school buddy Reynaldo's wedding. As they're getting ready, they learn Kaycee's first boyfriend, Tomas, and his girlfriend, Alessandra, have gotten married. Then Ethan's plan goes into motion. I hope you enjoy this!

Hot Idea ☁️ 💍 Ethan & Kaycee are poolside on one of the hottest days in Boston's history; Ethan's eager to go inside until Kaycee mentions wedding planning. Then, there's a brilliant idea.

Sweet Start ☁️ Ethan and Kaycee start her 32nd birthday off with much to look forward to.

I do. Me too. ☁️ 👰🏼 🎨 They didn't want a lot of fuss, so they planned their "surprise wedding" in less than a month. On the morning of the big day, they remember they forgot to iron out a couple of details, but it all works out in the end. (Fanart by @/artbyainna)

Feeling Ancient 📱 ☁️ How often does Ethan think about the Roman Empire?

Improvision ☁️ 🦃 Newlyweds Ethan & Kaycee volunteer to work on Thanksgiving Day, but when their plan for a simple dinner together goes awry, Kaycee gets creative to make the day special.

Do You Want to Know a Secret? ☁️ Casey and Ethan enjoy a night at the opera, but when they’re forced to leave early, it leads to a wonderful surprise.

Magic - ☁️ 🍼 Ethan rushes home from work when he can't get in touch with Casey, only to stumble upon a wonderful surprise.

Never Too Soon ☁️ 🍼 Casey wakes up in the middle of the night to listen in on a conversation Ethan is having with their daughter.

Times Are Changing ☁️ 🍼 It’s 2:00 AM, and Ethan’s turn to tend to baby Emma. When things don’t go well, it’s Kaycee to the rescue in more ways than one.

No Laughing Matter 📱 🍼 Text fic set shortly during Casey's first week back to work. Ethan is home with baby Emma.

Long Time Coming 🔥 Kaycee and Ethan have been looking forward to this night for a long time, but when things go wrong, Kaycee drowns her sorrows...can they salvage the night?

Brewed With Love ☁️ 🍼 FANART with Fic - Ethan & Casey introduce baby Emma to a special place.

Dreams Come True ☁️ 💐 🍼 Casey & Ethan share her first Mother’s Day with Emma.

New Horizons ☁️ It’s Kaycee’s last day at Edenbrook. While a friend is there to support her, Ethan and Emma are there to take her home.

Picking a Winner 📷 ☁️ Ethan posts a photo of their family pumpkin picking trip, and things go awry.

Something New ☁️ 01.18.23 Kaycee takes matters into her own hands when Ethan won't follow doctor's orders.

Candyland Part 1: Emma's World ☁️ 1.30.22 - Casey wants to try to trick Emma with the latest Tik Tok challenge. Ethan, her unwilling accomplice, is not thrilled with the results.

Perfection 💝 Ethan and Emma make Valentine’s pizza for Casey and learn some lessons along the way.

Something New ☁️ 05.08.23 It's a special day for Ethan, and his daughter, Emma, has a big surprise in store for him.

Promises Made, Promises Kept ❤️‍🩹01.27.23 - Ethan starts a sweet tradition for his new wife, and it comes with a lifetime promise.

Want to read more about Ethan?

Ethan & Kaycee / Ethan x Casey AUs Master List

My Main Masterlist

#ethan ramsey #ethan ramsey x mc #au masterlist #ethan x kaycee #ethan x kaycee masterlist

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obsidianfr3sk · 3 years

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true colors

@renegadesnet event 10: pride

↪ [ “But everything was temporary. And pain was one of those things. Well, except love. Everything but love was temporary. Or that was what he liked to believe.” ]

Summary: Two years after the supernova, after Tamaya notified them the gearboxes that contained the lights had gotten soaked and that she needed the money to buy more before the next day (June 1st), Simon realized they were not enough for him anymore.

Simon wanted a bigger flag.

No. He wanted two. The biggest pride flags he could find.

AO3

Hello, friends!! I hope you’ve been having an excellent pride month and have been eating a lot rainbow cake and pissing off a lot of conservatives with the mere fact of your wonderful existence:’) As my contribution to this month and the event organized by @renegadesnet, I decided to write a fic focused on my favorite gay dads and their sons (bc I’m me, and you should have seen this coming.)

Before you read, I want to give a trigger warning: at the start of a fic I talk about a homophobic attack, which is not graphic or violent per se (it’s someone in the middle of the night taking away the flag they put outiside the house), and I do discuss about internalized homophobia during some parts of the story. If you read it and are sensitive to this kind of stuff, proceed with caution and take care of yourself <3

Also, this entry is a collaboration with my talented mother @healing-winston-pratt, who is going to be uploading some fanart of this in a near future, so keep an eye on that👀 she’s the best skjhkjds thank you for accepting to collaborate, I feel this is a great bonding activity and I hope we can do this more often✨

I need to update my tag list because a lot of the people who were included are not active as active as they were before/changed their URLs. But I’m going to tag @the-wee-woo-rita @lackadae @all-weather-is-bad @chiyuki-hiro bc you guys are the only ones who are still active users who I had on my previous tag list lol

With that said, I hope you enjoy this fic. I think that despite the angsty parts, it came out really fluffy and domestic, it was fun to write. And to all my queer silbings who are reading this: I am very proud of you.

But I see your true colors shining through.

I see your true colors, and that's why I love you.

So don't be afraid to let them show.

Your true colors,

true colors are beautiful like a rainbow

Simon couldn’t remember a time when he didn’t know he was gay.

There was a time when he didn’t know he was gay, of course. He was probably too young to even comprehend the meaning behind that word. And there was also a moment in his life when he felt embarrassed about it, and sad, and angry, and really, really scared, and probably thought that no matter how hard he tried, he was never going to be happy living the life he wanted to live.

That the pain was never going to end. That he was going to be miserable for the rest of his existence, and that maybe, there was no point in existing if he was going to stay like that until the day he died.

But everything was temporary. And pain was one of those things.

Well, except love. Everything but love was temporary. Or that was what he liked to believe.

That was the reason why, the first year after the Day of Triumph, he told Hugh they should get a rainbow flag for their house. They went to one of the first stores that opened at the mall (that had just been remodeled after twenty years of being abandoned) and bought one at a not so affordable price. Simon offered himself to install it on one of the fence pillars and had to spend thirty minutes listening to Hugh telling him that maybe he should let him do it, that the ladder Kasumi had lent them was ratty, and that Simon was going to fall.

Fortunately, Simon didn’t. He did almost fall, though, when he was about to pass out from stress because seeing Hugh getting all anxious, made Adrian cry and he started to basically beg him to come down, given that now he was convinced he was going to fall, and hearing his dad saying “Look what you’ve done to the kid, Simon” didn’t help at all to make Adrian (or Simon) feel better.

That night, there was a thunderstorm and Adrian used it as an excuse to sleep on their bed. As soon as he cried himself to sleep, two hours later, after their dads did everything in their power to calm him down, hugging him, giving him kisses, and assuring him his aunt Tamaya wasn’t going to let the storm hurt them, Simon raised his hand to high-five Hugh and tell him that they were amazing parents, just to realize he was already asleep. Simon silently judged him for sleeping so soundly while his son was having a crisis instead of sleeping.

When he woke up (at five in the morning) Adrian was looking out their window, with the Baby Indomitable blanket on his shoulders. The sky was still cloudy, but it wasn’t raining anymore.

“Darling, what are you doing?,” Simon told him. “Today’s Sunday. Let your daddy and I get some more sleep—”

“The storm took our flag,” Adrian blurred out.

Hugh was already awake too. “What?”

“You said the storm wasn’t going to hurt us,” Adrian said, turning around to see them, “but the storm took our flag.”

Simon got out of bed, looked through the window...

And, yes, the flag was completely gone.

But for some reason, Simon knew it hadn’t been the storm.

“Why would the storm do something like this?” Adrian asked.

Simon didn’t know how to answer that. Luckily, Hugh did.

“Because the storm is homophobic, son.”

Adrian laughed out loud and then asked his dads if they could have pancakes for breakfast. He had already forgotten about the storm and the flag.

They didn’t. Neither of them ever forgot about it.

While Simon and Adrian ate their pancakes, Hugh went to his office because, according to him, he needed to check something. When Adrian finished his breakfast and went back to his dads’ room to watch TV, Simon stayed in the kitchen, doing the dishes, and Hugh finally came downstairs. He was pretty quiet, and Simon thought that it probably was because he had told him to eat the burnt pancakes he didn’t dare to throw away, but after he finished them all, he said:

“I lied.”

Simon threw a glance at him. “When did you lie?”

“When I said the storm was homophobic,” Hugh answered.

“Well, of course, you lied, love. Storms don’t have strong political opinions about gay people.”

Hugh didn’t laugh. “What I mean is— that it wasn’t the storm.”

Every joke Simon’s brain could come up with disappeared at that moment. So he continued doing the dishes, and Hugh, thinking he hadn’t made himself clear, continued talking.

“It was someone else. It was a person. I saw them on—”

“I know,” Simon interrupted him. “I know. I’ve always known.”

But even if Simon knew, he still told Hugh to show him the footage because four eyes were better than two (especially considering that the owner of those first two eyes needed to wear glasses). It was all useless, though; the storm made the image all blurry, and the only thing they could see was someone taking it and running away in the middle of the night.

Simon wanted to think that it was just some dumb teen whose friends had challenged him to do it. But when it came to things like those one never really knew.

On Monday, they had promised Adrian to take him to the park that was a few blocks away so they could teach him how to fly a kite, but the thought of going out made him feel as if something bad was going to happen to them if they did, so Simon told Adrian that he and Hugh were feeling sick and that they would stay in their room to get some rest. Adrian asked them if they minded that he stayed there too because he was in the middle of watching a movie he had never seen before.

“Only if we can watch it with you,” Simon answered.

It was a weird day to be alive. They really just stayed there, watching silly cartoons with their kid and listening to him ranting about the weird proportions those characters had.

During the afternoon, Adrian told them he was hungry, so Simon went downstairs to look for something they could eat. He was thinking that maybe they should order something from that Chinese restaurant Tamaya had taken him the other day, when Hugh entered the kitchen and told him Adrian had asked him if he could bring him water.

Simon felt his hands were trembling while he looked inside his wallet for the paper where he had written the restaurant’s phone number.

“Do you want to get another flag?” Hugh asked him.

And something hurt.

Something hurt inside of him. Something started to cry, and to scream, and to flicker, trying to make him invisible to the world.

And it told him, the same way Adrian had told him he was hungry, that someone had taken him by surprise and made a deep cut on his chest.

But Simon didn’t allow it to come out.

He just said: “No.”

And Hugh answered him: “Me neither.”

He called the Chinese restaurant to order some food, while Simon went to their room with Adrian again and cuddled with him, trying to tend to the wounds of that something that was bleeding out inside of him.

Little Simon was crying, and screaming, and flickering, and needed adult Simon to take care of him.

The next day, they talked about the incident with the rest of the Council during their lunch break. It was one of those few occasions the six of them were together in the same room during their work hours. Tamaya was furious about the flag situation. She ranted for a good five minutes without anyone interrupting her about how fucking horrible people were and that she was going to find that little piece of shit and cut his hands off. Kasumi nodded in approval while drinking some horchata she had bought for herself, probably thinking about how to ask Tamaya to let her join her revolution (something she didn’t need to do, since Tamaya always included Kasumi in everything she did). Evander, on the other hand, was very quiet, something that made him feel a little bit relieved because he was not a sensitive person and Simon didn’t want him to... Evander the situation.

He didn’t say anything insensitive that day, though.

In fact, he said something… helpful, even.

“What about a flag made of light?”

Hugh rubbed his eyes and Simon knew what he was going to say before he opened his mouth.

Because he said that phrase constantly.

“Shut the fuck up, Evander.”

But Evander didn’t shut up. “Dude, think about it. No one would be able to take down a flag made of light.”

And everyone realized that, now, it was not only one of those strange occasions when the six of them got together to have lunch during their work hours; it was also one of those strange occasions when Evander had an idea that was actually good.

So after spending another hour discussing how they were going to make it work, they decided they were going to lit up the building in rainbow-colored lights.

Tamaya and Hugh were the ones in charge of almost all the operation because Evander said he had already given them the idea, so he didn’t need to do anything else (and then got mad at Hugh when he told the media he was the one who came up with it). Kasumi helped them, but was especially insistent about putting a trans pride flag somewhere in the building, and after they agreed with her, she personally hung it on the main entrance of Headquarters.

They started turning the lights on each night of June since that yeat.

Hugh and Simon still didn’t get a flag. Three nights after they told their friends about what had happened during the thunderstorm, Simon was woken up by the sound of someone crashing against the trash cans and almost jumped out of the window with his dagger on hand to slay whoever was trying to break into their house, but when he peeked out to see what was going on, he realized the “robber” was Kasumi, who had put a bunch of small pride flags on some pots they kept on their porch and started crying as soon as she realized Simon was watching her, not because she was upset the surprise she had for them had been ruined, but because now she was covered in trash.

(That week was like a sign Georgie was sending them from the afterlife to tell them they needed to install a better security system.)

Those were the only flags they kept around the house. They were small and discreet, and, most importantly, no one had taken them away. Why? Well— because they listened to Georgie’s sign and installed a better security system. Not because there weren’t any more homophobes out there who were willing to do it.

Until that moment, those flags (the little ones Kasumi had given them in a rather unconventional way and the one made of light that Evander had come up with) had been more than enough for them. But, two years after the supernova, after Tamaya notified them the gearboxes that contained the lights had gotten soaked and that she needed the money to buy more before the next day (June 1st), Simon realized they were not enough for him anymore.

Simon wanted a bigger flag.

No. He wanted two.

The biggest pride flags he could find.

***

That was the reason why, after having pancakes for breakfast (because it had rained during the night), he took the car, took the other three people living in that house with him, and after he was able to read the map, they arrived at a store that, among other things, sold flags like the ones they were looking for.

“I want one too,” Adrian told them when they were at the flag section of the store. “For my room, you know. And I want to get ones for Danna and Nova because I don’t think they have any. They would’ve told me.”

Usually, when Adrian asked for something Simon hadn’t agreed to buy him, like some candy, an action figure, or a pair of sneakers, he would turn around and ask him if he had the money to buy any of those things himself, which would anger him so much he would stop wanting that certain thing.

But that day, he felt like buying them everything they wanted. As if money grew on trees (something he always told his kids didn’t happen.)

“Of course, darling,” he answered, “get them everything you want. It’s pride month.”

“It’s May 31th,” Max said. He was inside the shopping cart Hugh had grabbed the second they entered. It was something he always did, even if they weren’t going to buy a lot of things because, according to him, it felt weird and wrong not to.

“It’s almost pride month,” he corrected himself.

“So can I get something for Nova?” Adrian asked again, just to make sure.

“You can get something for Nova,” Hugh assured him, smiling a little bit.

Adrian quickly turned around and started looking for the flag he wanted while texting Nova about something Simon couldn’t read (not like he was trying to, anyway).

After making sure Adrian stayed on the same aisle as them, they started walking around, gazing at the flags and posters available. Simon felt pretty progressive because he was able to name every single sexuality and gender they were supposed to represent. He imagined Hugh was doing the same thing, but with a lot more difficulty than him. He kept his eyes fixated on each flag longer than Simon did, as if he were trying to remember what they meant, and when he did, he pushed the cart (with Max still inside of it, playing a game on Hugh’s phone because he had forgotten his tablet at home), and the cycle began again.

But suddenly, Simon saw ones that he didn’t recognize.

After three seconds of standing in front of those little flags, someone hit him in the butt with their cart. He turned around immediately, ready to say a really threatening “Hey” to whoever had done it.

Hugh was the only other person who was there. He had been the one who had hit him with the cart.

Suddenly, Simon felt a little bit stupid for thinking someone else had done it.

The two of them maintained eye contact for a couple of seconds until Hugh started looking at his own hands grabbing the cart’s handle.

“Simon.” Before Simon could ask him what happened, he added, with a deep voice: “Move.”

Simon didn’t move. Instead, he hit the cart with his hips, just out of spite. Hugh hit him again with it, making Simon feel the unexpected need to grab the cart with his two hands and use his own weapon against him, but Max was there and they couldn’t act like kids in front of him. So he just hit the cart with his hips again, a little bit harder than the first time, and left it there.

He realized he was just going to be wasting his time asking Hugh if he knew what that flag was supposed to represent.

“Cherub,” he called Max. “Do you recognize this flag?”

Max looked up from the screen. He usually didn’t like it when he called him “cherub” in public, but this time, he didn’t seem mad about it. “Um… no? Ask Adrian—” and continued playing.

Adrian came back with a basket full of pins, and for a second, Simon almost asked him if he really was that naive to believe he was actually going to pay for all of them. But then, he realized that it was only the basket where they kept all of the pins they sold and that Adrian had taken it to show them to them.

“Look, they have so many pins here—” he started taking random pins “—this is the aromantic flag… this is the genderfluid flag—”

“Interesting,” Hugh interrupted him, “but which flag is that one?” and pointed at the one Simon didn’t recognize.

Max took a random pin from the basket and started looking at it with curiosity. Adrian almost didn’t pay attention to it, and after a few seconds, he said: “That one’s yours.”

Simon frowned and took one. It was a handheld flag with green and blue stripes, with a white one in the middle. He touched the polyester with his fingertips as if that was going to give him the ability to communicate with it.

“But we don’t have a flag,” Hugh told Adrian. “I’ve heard of the lesbian fl—”

Adrian took a pin of the lesbian flag. “This one.”

“Yeah— but gay men don’t have one.”

“The rainbow is ours,” Simon said, without taking his eyes away from the blue and green flag he was holding. “Like, it’s for all queer people.”

Hugh directed his attention to Adrian again. “You’re messing with us.”

“I do mess with you a lot,” Adrian admitted, “but this time I’m not because if I do and you get mad, you won’t buy me all the stuff I want to get.”

“Huh.”

Simon knew Adrian and Max were a lot of things, but "dumb" wasn't one of those. And Adrian was especially intelligent when it came to convincing his parents to buy him things.

So he decided to believe him.

“Well, I like it,” he said. Then, he asked Hugh: “Do you like it?”

Hugh grabbed one and observed it for a while. “I like that it has blue on it,” he finally answered, nodding a little bit.

Simon noticed Max was spacing out while playing with the pin he had taken, so he waved the flag on his face, making him laugh and sneeze because the damn thing had a lot of invisible dust Simon didn't notice at first.

“Oh, sh—”

“You know? Maybe we should get two of these,” Hugh said, waving it too, but in his case, not on the face of one of their kids. “For our offices.”

“Matching flags, very romantic.”

Max rubbed his nose. “Why don't you get a big one for the house?”

Simon quickly started to look everywhere on that aisle, and he saw a lot of big versions of the flags he had recognized before (and some of the ones Adrian had mentioned), but there were no gay flags in sight.

“Maybe next year, I guess,” he shrugged. “I don't think they have them here yet.”

He grabbed two of the rainbow flags that were there, inside their respective plastic bags, gave them to Max, and he put them on his lap, still holding that pin. Simon made a quick mental note to remind his future self they needed to pay for that (he didn’t know if it had to with the fact that Max had been spending a lot of time with Maggie, Nova’s sister, but he had developed this weird habit of stealing the most random objects one could think of. Luckily, he limited himself to stealing things from his dads and, one time, from a store.) (Kids went through weird phases when they were Max’s age.)

(Because… it was a phase, right?)

Adrian received a text. “Danna says that she already has a flag, so I’m getting her a pin,” he said after reading it. “And Nova says she wants one too.” Then, his whole face lit up. “And I could get one too so we match.”

“Copycat,” Simon accused him, jokingly. “Your dad and I got matching flags, and now you want to get matching pins with your girlfriend.”

Hugh shook his head, disappointed. “I cannot believe you have betrayed your own family like this.”

They stayed at the store another 30 minutes to buy some other things they needed for the house, and from time to time, when he or Hugh grabbed something, they pretended they didn’t see Adrian and said: “Um, but the copycat may be listening” to a point he told them to stop, and refused to forgive them until they agreed to buy him the flag he didn’t intend to get anymore, but now was going to.

He got the last bisexual flag there was at that store.

***

The first time the four of them were together in their room was last June. Something went wrong with the A/C system of the entire house and the only room where one could stay without having a heatstroke was theirs because their A/C hadn’t broken down for some reason. Adrian and Max were sleeping on the air mattress until Simon (who hadn’t been able to sleep lately) heard that one of them woke up and asked Hugh something. He sat down on the bed, at the same time Hugh moved a little bit to allow Adrian to lay down between the two of them.

Then, in the middle of the dark, his eyes met Max’s.

He looked tiny. Young. Pretty young.

And far away.

Simon couldn’t remember who did it. He didn’t remember who talked that night. It could have been him, even. But he was sure that, at that moment, someone whispered:

“Get in here, kid.”

And Max obeyed. He crawled, raised his arms towards them, and Hugh grabbed him carefully by the collar of his shirt and placed him between him and Adrian.

It was a peaceful night. The bed was big enough for the four of them, and Simon was able to sleep and actually rest for the first time in weeks.

At least until their A/C turned off with a weird sound, and the four of them woke up at the same time, sweaty, uncomfortable, and almost at 11 AM, not because they weren’t necessarily willing to stay there longer, but because the heat was starting to get unbearable and suddenly the bed was too small for three adults and a little kid that was not that little anymore.

“This isn’t a room, this is a— a freaking oven,” Hugh said, while Adrian tried to push him out of bed to get the hell out of there and seek comfort on the air mattress he had abandoned in the middle of the night.

“And we are the... cookies,” Max giggled.

“The turkey,” Simon added.

Max turned around. His whole face was red and his hair was a little bit wet. “The lasagna.”

Simon grabbed him by the cheeks; a discreet way to check if he had a fever. “The cake.”

“The ham.”

“The—”

“Dad. Move.”

Later that day, Simon called someone to fix the A/C, and that was the end of the story.

When they arrived at the house, Adrian wanted to hang his flag as soon as possible, on one of his room’s walls, but Simon insisted that they should iron it first so it looked nicer. Hugh said that he was planning on ironing the ones they had bought for the house and offered Adrian to do the same with his, but when he insinuated that he didn’t trust him enough not to mess up his flag the same way he had messed up his favorite shirt (the one he wanted to wear to take Nova to a nice place during her birthday), Hugh reminded him that the only reason he kept doing that for him was that Adrian didn’t know how to iron yet, and decided that he was going to use that moment as a teaching opportunity. Max made the mistake of laughing at his brother when he thought no one was paying attention to him, but Adrian was and dragged Max into the teaching opportunity with him.

Simon joined too. Just because.

And suddenly, the four of them were in their room again.

With the A/C on, of course.

He didn't know if Hugh had noticed, but he had been so invested in his own explanation, that after he finished ironing the two rainbow flags, he started ironing Adrian’s without realizing it. Adrian, instead of giving up and stop pretending he was paying attention, was looking, kind of mesmerized, how he opened the bag of his blue, purple, and magenta flag, and proceeded to put it on the ironing board, now telling him that when Georgie had tried to teach him how to iron his clothes, she accidentally burnt Evander.

Simon was half-listening to the story, half-listening to the music video that Max was watching on the TV. He was sitting on a big and old ottoman they had bought a long time ago but had never found the perfect place to put it and just stayed there for years until they forgot about it. Max was in front of him, sitting on the floor and resting his back on the ottoman, while he covered his blond hair with small butterfly hair clips he had found at the store and bought just because he thought they were cute (who knows, maybe Nova wanted them for Maggie, or Kasumi could use them for herself, she loved them when she was little).

When all the hair clips were on Max's hair, he took a small mirror they kept in the bathroom (but Simon borrowed it for a minute) and gave it to him so he could see the final result.

“Look at me,” Max exclaimed, laughing. “I look so pretty.”

Simon grabbed one of the hair clips and pulled it a little. “Butterfly hair clips are a popular trend this time of the year.”

“This is definitely going to make me the most popular kid in the playground.”

“Definitely.”

He leaned forward to start taking the butterfly hair clips off Max's hair and was putting them on Max’s open hand when he noticed that he hadn’t let go of the pin they bought him at the store.

(Simon did remember to pay for the thing, but if he hadn’t done it, Max wouldn’t have said anything.)

“That was really nice of you,” Simon said.

Max looked at him, confused. “What?”

“Getting a rainbow pin—” he took his other hand and started putting the hair clips on it so none of them would get lost “—to show support.”

Max didn't say anything and Simon continued with what he was doing. After the music video finished, and another one started playing, Hugh gave Adrian his flag and told him he could go and hang it in his room, and as soon as Max heard that too, he gave Simon the hair clips and followed his brother out of the room, asking him if he could help him with it.

Simon, after realizing the bag where the hair clips came in had been destroyed by Max punching holes in it with the pin, took one of the empty pill bottles he kept in his drawers and put them there.

He closed the pill bottle and realized Hugh had been gazing at him during all this time, slightly leaning on the ironing board. “What?”

“That’s my pill bottle, Si,” he told him.

“Ah—” Simon pressed his lips “—can I have it?”

“No.” Hugh smiled at him. “Yes, you can.”

“So funny. Come here—” and patted the bed mattress.

Hugh, being extremely careful not to touch the flags he just ironed, lied on the bed and sighed.

“Do you want me to play with your hair?” Simon asked him with a soft voice.

He closed his eyes and nodded.

After a while of the two of them just being silent, he said, “Hey… I heard what you told Max, by the way.”

“The butterfly hair clips trend?”

“The pin thing.”

“What about it?”

Hugh opened his eyes, just a little bit. “Just don't tell Max I told you, all right? Because he told me he wouldn't tell anyone else until he was sure, but… I think it's important the two of us know,” he explained.

Simon was starting to feel his palms get a little bit sweaty. “Okay— but just tell me, please.”

He checked overhearing their conversation one last time, and that the kids were still at Adrian's room. “Max told me a couple of days ago that he has been thinking about… what he likes.”

He stopped playing with his hair for a second. But then, he continued.

It was his way of coping with the feeling of his stomach twisting inside of him. “What he likes?” Hugh nodded again. “Huh. And has he— does he has an idea or—”

“No, he doesn't,” Hugh answered. “He just knows that he doesn't like girls. Or that's what he told me.”

Simon raised his eyebrows and scoffed. “That sounds like a lot of things. Not liking girls.”

Hugh scoffed too. “That's what I told him. And that he can take all the time he needs to figure it out. Because he can—”

“Yes. Yes, of course, he can,” Simon assured, with determination. “Life is longer than we think it is.”

They stayed silent again. And Simon couldn’t help but feel relive inside his head the moment he called Max an ally, feeling his stomach twisting even more at every second it passed.

“I feel bad.”

“Why?”

His palms started to sweat again. “Because I called him an ally.”

“It’s all right. You didn’t know.”

“I shouldn’t have assumed anything.”

“You didn’t know,” Hugh repeated.

But Simon didn’t listen. “Si.”

Then, Hugh grabbed him carefully by the wrist, and, a little bit surprised, Simon tilted his head. Hugh usually didn't interrupt him when he was playing with his hair.

“What's wrong?” he asked.

“No, what’s wrong with you?” he deadpanned

Simon knew him well enough to know he wasn’t trying to be rude. It was just his way of asking things. Especially when he was genuinely worried and didn’t think about modulating his tone so it It fitted the situation better.

He sighed. Because he didn’t want to lie to him. “I assumed Max was straight.”

As soon as he said it, he realized how silly it had sounded phrased like that. But he also noticed his voice had broken and he had to put a hand on his mouth so he didn’t start crying.

And Hugh, instead of saying the encouraging phrase he expected him to say…

He smiled.

And for some reason, that made him want to cry even more. “Ew, why are you smiling?” he asked.

Hugh took his time to answer him. “Oh, it’s nothing. I think I'm just… happy.”

“Well, I’m not.”

Hugh smiled more. “I know, love, I know… It's just one of those things…” he tried to find the right words this time. “One of those things I didn't think we were going to go through together,” he kept saying. “Like… we're going to be together when Max finally discovers who he really is. Like we did with Adrian. And like other people did with us. And that makes me happy.”

Simon wanted to tell him to shut up and let him cry and be dramatic as much as he wanted because he considered he deserved it. But he tried to do it, the only thing that could come out of his lips was almost imperceptible “Yeah…” and then, a small tear started running down his face. Hugh quickly noticed this and wiped it away with his finger. Simon scoffed and looked away, rubbing his nose.

“Hey…” and he moved aside so Simon could lay beside him.

The space they had was a little too small but he didn’t mind because now he had an excuse to be closer to him.

And there it was again. Little Simon. Little Simon was there again with them.

Just that this time he wasn’t crying, or screaming, or even flickering. He was just… existing.

And all he wanted to do was to exist.

When Hugh held him that way, sometimes he felt as if it was the first time he did it. Which made Simon (and the sad, angry and scared part of Simon) wonder if there was a sad, angry and scared part of Hugh that also craved that comfort and validation, and if it was the one who hugged that younger version of Simon until they convinced each other that everything was fine.

That there was nothing wrong with neither of them.

Because sometimes it was as if people didn’t remind them that as many times as they needed. So the only option they had was to be there for the other, and tell him that it was okay to hug, to kiss, to touch, and to share until the one who was talking ended up convincing both of them.

Love wasn’t temporary.

And their love was as powerful as they wanted it to be.

Those younger versions of themselves wanted to stay like that forever every single time. But their adult versions knew they couldn’t do it because they had other responsibilities that they needed to attend.

Installing those two pride flags that were next to them, for example.

Their younger versions were excited to do that, but they also asked them if they could rest together a little bit longer. And neither of them had the heart to tell them no.

Hugh started to play with a lock of Simon’s hair. “We’ll be there to catch him.”

He knew he wasn’t talking about either of them. Even if, with his eyes closed, he could see little Hugh and little Simon holding each other’s hands and throwing themselves into the world, a little less sad, and angry, and scared than before, without being sure if there was going to be someone down there to catch them if everything went wrong.

“Together.”

And Simon agreed. “Together.”

***

“He’s going to fall.”

Simon rolled his eyes.

“No, he’s not,” Hugh told Max. “I’m here.”

“But what if—”

“Done,” Simon announced before Max could even finish his sentence. “Now, let’s just hope these things stay there as long as possible, because this ladder makes me anxious. I was trembling while putting the first flag.”

Max clicked his tongue. “It’s a windy day. The wind could have pushed the ladder or something.”

Now it was Hugh’s turn to roll his eyes. “Take my hand.”

Simon went down the ladder without letting go of his hand. Then, while Hugh took it and quickly went inside the garage to put it there, Adrian pricked his little brother up with his own rainbow flag pin, and in response, Max punched him in the stomach with all his might (which wasn’t that much). Adrian laughed and pretended to be hurt, but immediately asked him if he wanted him to help him with his pin.

Simon noticed that Adrian had already put his pin of the bisexual flag on his clothes, and watching him pull Max a little bit closer so he didn’t prink him again (now by accident), while Max gazed at his hands, trying to memorize his movements so he could do the same thing when he wanted to wear that pin again, made his mouth curved into a smile.

When his husband came back from the garage, he thought he was going to tell them to stop blocking the sidewalk and get in the house so they could continue with their day. But instead of doing that, he walked towards them and looked at their waving flags, flying on their mansion for the first time in years.

Adrian grabbed Max by the waist and carried him on his shoulders so he could have a better view. And he realized that there would be a day when they would throw themselves into the world completely alone, without knowing how people were going to act and aware that two of them were brave enough to take whatever blows that they were going to throw at them.

But they weren’t going to do it alone. Because Hugh, Simon, and their hurting parts weren’t going to spend a day without reminding them that they were going to be there, ready to catch them every single time they needed it.

Simon started to look for Hugh’s hand just to realize, Hugh was already looking for his too, and when they found each other, he couldn’t contain himself and stood on his tiptoes to kiss him on the cheek. Then, Hugh smiled and kissed him back, this time, on the corner of his lip.

Simon felt proud of what they were.

He was really proud.

And he hoped they were proud too.

#renegades #archenemies #supernova #renegades trilogy #hugh everhart #simon westwood #adrian everhart #max everhart #everhart-westwood family #the warden and the captain are sitting in a tree #obsi's writs #i should get an oscar for the homophobic storm joke

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creathechiboi · 3 years

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Wow, hey, the rant’s here.

Just a heads up, this is (of course) gonna contain spoilers for everything up to S3 EP11 “Death Peck/Ponynomium,” so yeah, you’ve been warned. As for season 2, i’ll try to count everything but my god, it's a lot to say.

Seeing as i also have all the time in the world to rant, i will try and get into as many goods and bads, but i’m unfortunately as lazy as i am hooked to the show, so i guess i’ll take questions if i missed anything. at the end will be my plans for fanfics and fanart in the future and my last short thoughts.

Yes this is long as hell but deal with it, it’s my post, I do what I want. Be happy i got a spoiler warning on this or else this would’ve clogged your feed a LOT. (2.8k words incoming!)

I think i was nearly 12 when star vs. the forces of evil first premiered on Disney XD and it was one of the best times of my life, especially since i was just a kid who didn’t know jack about anything in life and just wanted to have fun. At the time, i don’t think i’d say that because… idk, what does a kid know about knowing the worth of ‘now?’

So when i am once again pulled into the temptation and great feeling of nostalgia and into the love of western cartoons such as Steven Universe and Owl House (which I will check out btw), i just needed to push away any worries i had and just return to what i loved when i was young. And it ABSOLUTELY did not help that the last episode I watched was Bon Bon the Birthday Clown, which is literally the front door of what i like to call ‘when-the-show-gets-real’ phase. So finally, years after its premiere and fewer after its end, here’s what i got so far about star vs. the forces of evil. I’ll go over what i consider crucial and all above.

(i’m not going back to episodes for a quick reminder, too lazy *after about 20 minutes in, i went against my word, but thank u to alyciadweeb for uploading reaction vids, saved me a lotta time.)

Season 1.

I think the episode list was fairly strong in this one. it nicely showed what it had to offer, what was to be expected going forward and how each character acted. Its ‘left-field’ progress is very charming, refreshing and random with each episode and the subject matter of everything under the list of ‘wholesome’ coming from Star mixed in with exciting and thrilling action and fight scenes is just so good.

Some highlights from this season were (and some are very obvious) Star Comes to Earth since it’s basically season one in a nutshell, Mewberty because i find it to be pretty suspenseful and i like star’s form, The Blood Moon Ball (you know why), Fortune Cookies for introducing Toffee nicely and pushing subtle plot, Marco Grows a Beard for Toffee again and showing off what Star is made of, and Storm the Castle. no words for Storm the Castle.

Considering the starco burn, it was nice and slow while staying pretty unpredictable as to how it would continue and even more conclude. Party with a Pony, Blood Moon Ball, and Storm the Castle were great for the burn because it showed what they were willing to do for each other and even through some rough talks, they can understand that they’re both on the same page of trying to stay alive.

Going over CHARACTERS, i think the main ones have contributed greatly to the season and are layered well. Star is naive but not so much to where it’s irritatingly stupid (imo btw), sweet, and so considerate of those who are in need of help such as in Mewnipendence Day when it clicked that PERHAPS monsters had it badly in both the history and present time.

Marco is cool yet awkward, he’s obviously super cautious being the Safe Kid he is, and the way he lets his concern take control to fight or monitor Star regardless of consequences displays just how much good he has for what he cares for.

Oskar and Jackie were pretty likeable whenever they appeared, their cool nature is relaxing and easy to love, and I understand love interests being an addition to the romantical aspect of the show and I can totally roll with it. I was super into Janna’s traits considering her side being stalker-ish (okay, VERY), forward, and a huge trickster, plus her dynamic with Marco is really enjoyable and I could side with their ship.

Ludo was playing a pretty good antagonist, but not enough for me to root for him. I think the ‘antagonist’ should be well made to where you despise them but at the same time you’re hyped the next time you spot him because the story will be pushed in a direction you didn’t anticipate. Which is where Toffee comes in.

This is pretty debateable; Toffee’s introduction is an antagonist’s introduction done right, at least as far as cartoon shows go. Maybe. At his first appearance, he only seemed off, strange, a character with a very ambiguous mission. Before I noticed, he became the one I wanted to see the most, the one that would bring the show its best colors and deepest moments. And his traits just make it so much better, he is meticulous yet his plans are mysterious, unsettling, unusually still and calm, and just truly evil.

And then the next season arrived.

Season 2.

Entering this felt pretty nerve-racking, but I was also excited to catch up to when I last separated from this show. After breaking through the Bon Bon episode and finishing the season, I can say that season 2 was really, REALLY good. To me. And seeing as this prick has 22 episodes, I will try to mention all the crucials and highlights in a messy mixture.

The first episode/season debut did a great job of starting a new plot with new moving parts and staying somewhat connected with the first season. ‘Dip down’ was a really cool ability to see Star unlock, yet I didn’t catch her continuing with said ability. Ludo’s episode was really entertaining and it got me wondering where the plot was going with Ludo still involved. There’s a moment where you just know when to drop the antagonist, and with Toffee ‘gone,’ I would say that dropping Ludo would’ve been the best choice to move on.

[Ludo in The Wild, Wand to Wand, By the Book, Bon Bon, Is Mystery] Except that it resulted in the best pair of villains for the season. Ludo finally became a menace worth taking seriously, someone who had minions who took him more seriously than his previous, and with Toffee technically ‘in charge’ and corrupting magic, it was the best hint to something huge and dangerous growing in the distance.

[Wand to Wand, By The Book, Into The Wand, Bon Bon, Just Friends, Face the Music, Starcrushed] The corruption of the wands was one of my favorite ongoing points in this season. At first, I would’ve never suspected Toffee was behind it all and that it was a result of destroying the wand (it just clicked how he ended up in the wand, omfg, S3). As it kept going, I understood that the wand was never supposed to work completely for Ludo, that it was all part of a much more complicated plan for Toffee to return and just destroy magic for good. As for Star, it’s...I don’t know. The fact that her emotions, either good or bad, were mostly the ropes pulling the wand to function properly was very interesting, and even more so when Star was distracted by her own jealousy and anger towards the Jarco ship.

(And being the fanfic lover I am, I would’ve loved for the jealousy to kick up the evil magic and anger to Jackie because… ._ . Because I like drama and I’m a weeb who likes yandere moments. All love to Jackie though, great character, I just need drama.)

[Mr. Candle Cares, Friend-enemies] Before hitting the romance portion, I just wanna shove in my appreciation for the bond growing between Marco and Tom. Despite being a pretty short 2 episodes, I think they did a good job of bringing the two to a better spot in their relationship and being able to discuss Star without weird tropes such as Tom trying to keep Marco away from Star (which I guess he did, but whatevs) or Tom trying to get with Star for 11 minutes, which would’ve been pain—ful. Much love to the Tomco shippers !

[Camping Trip, Sleepover, Naysaya, Bon Bon, Trickstar, Just Friends, Face the Music, Starcrushed.] Iiiiii..The triangle was great here. I think these episodes did a good job with progressing the Jarco ship and watching Star having to third wheel or try to suppress her feelings was saddening until she was hit with her own truth, which then led to her being the one verifying it instead of hiding it forever. It was relieving that she had the chance, even if it had to lead to separation because of plot, which was the best and worst cliffhanger to leave on.

[Cont. of above.] I didn’t really see a reason to bring back Oskar in the last episode, especially at the highest point and at the very end of the season. I suppose it was for Star to try and develop a new love, something to pull her away from Marco, but like—there could’ve been many other ways to accomplish distance, no? Maybe I’m wrong, but it didn’t feel completely right when I watched it. Also I only included Camping Trip and Trickstar because I like to wonder how Starco would’ve come closer by being alone in the woods and that line Marco gives when he has his joy sucked out is just so out there. They might have been Marco’s doubts or being insecure of how it would go with Jackie, but it’s also funny to think that it was written in because of its seriousness.

[Running with Scissors.] This is just ‘The Hekapoo x Marco Fanfiction’ episode, plus I think it was one of the best concepts for an episode. One thing that does tick at me is that Marco continues to be himself instead of mentally matured since his mind has aged 16 more years.

(this is becoming longer than I guessed, but let’s keep going. Kudos if you made it here, and more if to the end.)

[Page Turner, Into the Wand, Baby, Running with Scissors, Face the Music, Starcrushed.] The Butterfly’s and the Magic High Commission. I was very hooked to Glossaryck and his connection to what I guessed were some ‘very important people.’ It always felt like he played a much bigger role than just the explainer of the Book of Spells, and that he possibly knew what cards were going to be dealt later on. The members of the Commission were all unique, loveable, and clearly held power that I was excited to see. But even after saying all that, my biggest questions rested on Moon and Eclipsa. Moon coming into the picture was a huge alarm and seeing her involved in the conflict for the safety of her daughter and magic kept me on edge. Having Eclipsa pop up often meant she would most likely meddle with oncoming situations in the next season and Baby comparing Star to her made me want to know what that meant for Star, her desires, and goals.

Season 3.

aaaAHHHHHHH—Okay, let’s make this fast. Season 3 hit me really really hard. So what better way to start than with The Battle for Mewni?

[The Battle for Mewni episodes.] As much as I’d like to peek into the romance, I need to stay organized and follow my own plan. This portion was the best way to resume the plot and I legitimately couldn’t stop until I had finished it and witnessed the conclusion. Moon’s backstory brought much more info for Toffee and Eclipsa and gave her own perspective as to how she acted when she was Star’s age; she wasn’t any wiser than Star was in the present, she made mistakes too.

[Cont.] A part of me was worried that maybe evil would have the last laugh, everything just seemed to appear as if the worst was meant to happen. Glossaryck was gone, the High Commission may never return, Star would most likely stay within the wand forever. And then I reached the battle against Toffee and it was one of the most exciting, most moving moments I have ever seen. Plus, I get to see Star not only ‘dip down,’ but morph into a whole new beautiful yet scary form.

And can I just mention how AMAZING the ending song is?! I’m a big music fan, but even without my studies and without experiencing a pile of diverse music, this ending song would continue to give me shivers and bring a smile to my face.

[Cont.] If it wasn’t for the Blood Moon’s assurance that Starco’s souls are bound together for eternity, I wouldn’t reeeaally see a reason for Marco to arrive at Mewni and become roped into the conflict. I would’ve thought that maybe this would be Star’s fight and Marco would face a much longer wait before deciding to leave and stay in Mewni. With all that said, Marco’s experience with Mewni and then returning to Earth is a good way for him to realize that he couldn’t completely forget and that he truly wanted to live there.

I blame River for a majority of it. Dumb meat cape.

[Moon the Undaunted, Stranger Danger, Lint Catcher, Sweet Dreams.] My god, Eclipsa is so likeable and I absolutely cannot trust myself with the choice of trusting her or not. She is so sweet and understanding when both Moon and Star dumped their personal problems onto her, her attitude is nonchalant and cheeky, and I can totally see where Star’s rebellious side came from, both just have their own ways and plans to get what they need. All knowledge is good knowledge after all.

[Scent of a Hoodie, Lint Catcher, Sophomore Slump.] You know, I’m somewhat glad that Starco’s bond is taking a few steps back and even more awkward than before. It was super cute (and gross) that Star continued to miss Marco to the point where she lied in order to keep a piece of him with her. I don’t fully believe that Marco initially returned to Mewni for Star but more so as a result of his days being cooped up in it. While it meant that Jackie understood fully and tore her ties with him as to make the feeling go away faster, it was a new door for Marco to enter and better enjoy than to be the ‘croissant girl.’

[Cont.] The part where the roles were reversed and now Marco was the one dropping into Star’s life was a new take on a used beginning that I enjoyed, and showed that some time needed to pass before things would return to normal.

[Club Snubbed, Demoncism, Lava Lake Beach.] I almost ALMOST had this strong feeling, this permanent question, which was ‘why the hell would you bring TomStar back?’ If it was for the Starco slow burn, I was completely certain that there were better ways to develop the ship. If I remember correctly (if I’m wrong, this is still good), Star had her attention on trying to be the best princess she could be, so why not have her try and use that as distance and denial while Marco continued as he did, like a squire, just someone by her side?

[Cont.] After about 2 days of thinking, I just decided to drop it into the excuse of Star successfully finding a new love in an old flame (ayy, fire pun). Love is just complicated like that, even Marco faced the same feeling when seeing the two and found himself a breakup buddy in the form of the great Kelly (Kellco is great btw). While this explanation suffices, I still have a pinch of doubt in it.

Conclusion.

I am not prepared to drop this show. These characters, this story, all of it just leads me to want more, for the story to continue and it’s what leads me to click the next episode but at the same time want to hold back to make it last longer. Sometimes wanting to feel what you felt before leaves a sharp feeling when it’s all gone. It feels much worse when I’m going through a big part of life, and trying to feel memories just makes you remember that it doesn’t last forever. While the Season 3 ED brings me joy, it constantly reminds me that I’ll have to finish the show soon.

But past the nostalgia, I feel a once dead love for shows return to my heart. This show reminds me that sometimes it’s okay to indulge in entertainment, in great plots and characters that you end up loving forever. I hope that I can find time for shows and bring back the great feeling this show always does when I watch it.

I’m planning to resume my fanfic writing and begin a fanart series based on SVTFOE, but also try and bring and continue other series that I love today and then. And these won’t be WIPS and drafts, I want to go all out.

Thank you for reading all…this. It means a lot. I’ll be back when I finish the whole show. This’ll be a painful, wonderful, great experience, and I won��t take it for granted.

#star vs evil #star vs foe #star vs #i need starco #starco #star butterfly #star vs the forces of evil #svtfoe #marco diaz #eclipsa butterfly #moon butterfly #star vs the force of evil spoilers #star vs the force of evil season 3 #tom lucitor #jackie lynn thomas #janna ordonia #toffee

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