#I also love the fact that then I randomly remember that certain artists exist

[chodzacaparodia]

I secretly hope that Rin has some German insults up his sleeve for Kaiser, because I want to believe that his emo ass knows Tokyo Hotel (when this band was still emo) and thanks to them he learned some of the language.

… or just in case, he learned a few insults in the most popular languages, because you never know what nationality the person he will hate will be.

#he trash talked so beautifully in English #I would like him to surprise in other languages ​​as well #another random thought occurred while working #hot anime boys get me through my days at work #I also love the fact that then I randomly remember that certain artists exist #does anyone know this band or am I the only one who has childhood flashbacks? xD #rin itoshi #michael kaiser #blue lock #bllk #blue lock manga #bllk manga

[sazandorable]

About moderating and banning content on AO3!

Okay so! I haven’t had the spoons to do this for a while but I cracked and ranted about it on twitter which is... not... conducive to long rants, so!

This is a h u g e discussion part of the l o n g history that led to the creation of AO3, which older, more informed, and more articulate people have talked about at length and can be found around if you look (I reblog some of it in my AO3 and fandom history tags for the curious). So I won’t go into that here, nor into the practical reasons why it’s not even possible to put that system in place anyway.

Arbitrarily, or the purpose of this post, because it’s the biggest topic I’ve seen brought up lately, I’ll be talking about fic depicting underage characters in se*ual situations, but honestly I could hold the exact same conversation on literally any controversial content.

This is about why you, specifically, if you are a content creator and especially if you are marginalised and especially if you are queer and especially especially if you are sensitive to fiction depicting certain things... do not, actually, want a banning system on AO3.

What? Of course we do. There’s a lot of p*do shit on AO3 and p*do shit is gross. No one should condone that, wtf? It would be easy to do — just periodically delete the entire Underage tag!

What will happen if that is done is that people will re-upload and continue to write it, they’ll just stop tagging and you will run into it with zero warning nor ability to filter it out. Again, this is not a theoretical — we know this is what happens. When I was a teen, adult content (all adult content) was not allowed on FF.NET; it was everywhere regardless, and without tags. The exact same thing happened on tumblr when adult content was banned as well. It’s not a matter of “staff not handling it well” — it just doesn’t work.

To keep safe the people who need to be able to exclude that tag, that tag needs to exist and be used.

Well, shucks. A reporting system then?

A reporting system would operate in one of two ways:

-an algorithm, which would delete a lot of stuff we wouldn’t want it to delete.

-humans, which is... the bigger problem.

An algorithm sounds great. We do want it to delete everything.

Okay. What about the daddy k*nk fics between consenting adult characters? What about the fics featuring characters that are children in the canon but are adults in the fic? What about the fics about teenagers exploring their se*uality together, written by adults about the experiences they remember having or wish they could have had? What about the thousands of SasuNaru and Drarry and other shounen and YA fics that will get written, by teens or by people who remember being teens? What about the se*ually explicit fic written by teens who are se*ually active in real life? What about the fics about CSA as trauma, about healing from it? What about the fics written by survivors of CSA to cope about their trauma? What about the fics that clearly show that it’s evil and traumatic? What about the super dark, harrowing, but beautiful and artistic that I’m glad I read even though it fucked me up for days? What about the ones that were really shitty but also horribly hot?

Well, some of these are still not okay, but maybe some might be. It depends on how it’s written. We’ll have humans moderating content and deciding, then.

Okay.

The thing is, I don’t know which of the things I just listed were okay for you to be depicted in fiction and which were too much. Odds are I don’t agree with you. Odds are if I asked 10 people randomly picked off the street, not everyone would agree.

Odds are, even if AO3 arbitrarily decided on which of those are allowed and which are not, you would not agree with their choice, and you would still be unhappy with the decision. (Or you would be happy, but your friends wouldn’t.)

Odds are, different AO3 content moderators might not agree on whether a given fic qualifies or not — is it artistic enough? Does it show enough that these actions are evil and wrong? Can the author prove they’re a teenager? Can the author prove they are a CSA victim? Can the author prove that this is to help them cope with their trauma? The author seem to be functioning alright, they mustn’t really be traumatised!

You know what I mean! There’s absolute, objectively gross shit out there that is not artistic and should not be published.

I agree that there’s vile stuff out there that makes me sick and that I think is very clearly just ped*philic trash. But there is no way to, 1) stop those from getting published anyway, 2) take those down and preserve the safety of everything else.

If we start forbidding some things, there’s two ways to go about it.

One single, clear, arbitrary rule — for instance, absolutely no adult content featuring characters under 18 (leaving aside the fact that this would not even work for the reason cited above). So we lose all the stuff from teenagers, all the coming of age stories about adolescence, all the stuff from CSA survivors; people who need to write it can’t publish it anymore, and people who need to read it can’t anymore either (and as a cool bonus, they’re told it’s wrong and made to feel bad about it). Depending on whether the rules applies to characters that are under 18 in the canon, we lose entire fandoms.

Or, subjective moderation by humans, according to what they estimate to be gross.

Let’s assume all moderators can agree on what’s gross or not.

If there is a system in place to ban some underage works because “gross shit”, then that means other gross stuff can be taken down on account of being gross and harmful.

Yeah! Gross stuff should be taken down! Come on, surely everyone agrees on what’s gross and harmful.

Ah.

But the problem is.

Here is a list of things I have seen — with my eyes seen — called harmful to be depicted in fiction:

Murder

Non-con

Inc*st

Cannibalism

Torture

Self-harm

Mental illness

Drugs

Racism

K*nk

Non-negotiated k*nk, but healthy k*nk is ok

Spanking k*nk

BDSM where the woman is a bottom, but woman top is ok

Healthy depictions of BDSM

Unhealthy depictions of BDSM

Queer people doing bad things

Abusive relationships

Rival/Enemies to lovers

Redemption stories

A happy relationship between a 17 yo and an 18 yo

A happy relationship between a 20 yo and a 60 yo

A happy relationship between a boss and their employee, or a college teacher and a student

A happy relationship between a 14 yo boy and an older teenage boy, because that’s reminiscent of older men preying on younger gay boys IRL

Se*ual content featuring a character whose age is unclear in canon and some people headcanon them as being underage, some as being a young adult

Loving, consensual fluff between characters that are evil villains, because it romanticises them and their actions

Dark content shipping female characters

Fluffy content shipping female characters, because it’s misogynistic to act like lesbians are only soft all the time

Consensual s*x featuring a canonically asexual character, because it implies that all aces can and should still have se*

Fics about the same canonically asexual character hating s*x, because that erases the experience of s*x-positive aces

Shipping a character who is perceived by some fans as queer-coded with a character of a different s*x

The tendency to ship a black character with white characters

Fluffy drunk s*x, because that’s not actually consensual

Sleep s*x, because that’s not actually consensual

Trans characters not experiencing dysphoria, because that idealises the trans experience

Consensual s*x between adults that are not married

LGBT+ content, because kids shouldn’t see that.

I guarantee you: you, I, and 10 random people plucked from the street will not agree on what, in that list, is and isn’t okay to publish and consume fiction of.

So why should your taste be the one followed? Why should it be the taste of mods you don’t know? Why should anyone get to dictate? What if the mods think your OTP is gross and your NOTP is fine?

This is the slippery slope argument.

Yes, it is the slippery slope argument. Because we know it happens. Because we’ve been there, because I’ve seen it happen myself twice already and I’m not even thirty. Because we know people do complain loudly about all of these things.

And because the second there is a banning system in place, assholes will use the system to abuse it and get stuff they just don’t like taken down using the “it is gross” argument, and one day you’ll wake up and the beautiful fic that helped you come to terms with your abuse/trauma/identity/orientation/k*nk for feet will be taken down and wonderful vulnerable creative people will have been harassed out of fandom because they argued with 1 person who didn’t like their foot k*nk fic that happened to also feature, for instance, a CSA trauma backstory.

Again: not exaggerating. Not theoretical. It happens, we know it happens, AO3 was created literally because it happens.

I still fucking hate that stuff.

That is completely fine and normal. No one likes everything. Me too! Most of the dark stuff is niche and the creators know only few people will like it the same way they do.

(For the record, I get grossed out and triggered by fics about an asexual character who does not like s*x having s*x with their partner to make them happy. Deep in my gut everything screams that that’s fucked up, terrifying and harmful, how can people write that. But I recognise that there are people who love and need that, and I leave those people and their content alone.

OTOH, I read a lot of otherwise dark shit and I enjoy it in the same way I enjoyed, say, Hannibal, in the same way some people enjoy true crime documentaries, horror movies or r*pe fantasy k*nk. It helps me explore stuff that I like to see in fiction, in a safe, controlled way. I’m also asexual, 90% s*x-repulsed IRL, and, obviously, I would never abuse a child. For that matter, I wouldn’t kill and eat people, either, nor would I do 90% of the tamer k*nky stuff I read.

Of course, Hannibal was fucked up and lots of people probably think Hannibal was gross and should not have been aired — but as exemplified by the fact that it was created, aired and watched, lots of people thought it was fine, interesting and even fun to watch.)

You can and should curate your experience and protect yourself. The AO3 website now allows you to exclude certain tags, and people have developed tools to help with that such as plugins that save your filters or hide fics that contain certain words.

But no, it isn’t going to, and it shouldn’t, get banned.

#ao3 #fandom history #aaaaand that's all im going to tag

[hellzyeahwebwielingessays]

The Not-So-Amazing Mary Jane Part 34: AMJ #6.1

Previous Part

Next Part

Master Post

You know I considered ending this series after the initial arc. I may well discontinue it after awhile. But for now at least I am going to press on. Thus begins the second of what I and dead certain will be a shitty arc of AMJ. Pray for me.

Before we dive into the issue I want to quote for you the solicit for this issue:

WELCOME TO NY, MJ! After the CAN’T-MISS events of AMAZING MARY JANE #5, your favorite redhead is back home! First stop: Spider-Man! But has her relationship with Mysterio changed things with the love of her life? Next stop: a press tour! Complete with iconic New York guest-starring gigs, and OH NO WHAT’S THAT?!?

We spent over 10 years of seeing Peter and MJ separated in the 616 universe.

Thanks to Nick Spencer they blessedly got back together.

Across 25 issues we got to see Peter and MJ interact and 99% of the time it was awesome and helped some old and open wounds get a little better.

It wasn’t every issue, but that was good. Don’t want to get indulgent right?

Then this series came along and Peter/MJ interactions got limited again due to the nature of the story.

That was a shame but at least we were going to get a great MJ story right?

Except we didn’t. We got a story that paradoxically simultaneously celebrated MJ whilst also inadvertently character assassinating her and just being a disgusting fucking mess in general.

But here we have MJ back in New York where Spider-Man is. This issue is even promising us an interaction between them.

Sounds good right?

Let’s see if it will deliver.

As always here we get the recap.

And once more it gives us the full title of the movie in spite of the comic yet to have done that.

As for the ‘strength of his vision blah blah blah’, you know the drill by now. That’s all bullshit, Mary Jane would never connect to Beck over that or allow him to walk free because of that.

There is also a passage in the recap claiming that MJ connected to Beck over familiarity with his situation. The idea of this being their last chance to make it big. I’ve already talked about how that’s bullshit, see part 12.

Finally, the recap confirms that MJ has still failed to tell Peter the truth. Nice to know MJ will continue to be hardcore out of character moving forward into this new arc.

As the issue starts we see MJ introduced as a guest on some kind of chat show.

As has been the case throughout the series, the art is (stylistically at least) gorgeous.

Beyond that there is little to about this page. Except of course the fact that Mary Jane has thought captions.

Let me repeat that.

For the first time in six  issues the readers are being given an insight into the thoughts of title character!

You know, if this were a brand new run, a re-launch or even say the beginning of an outright new era for a series maybe that’d be okay.

But it isn’t. It’s the same run, the same volume, the same story, merely the next arc. This is like if Nick Spencer hadn’t used thought captions throughout the first five issues of his ASM run but then randomly did for the Trivia Night storyline with Boomerang.

Thought captions are perhaps one of the single most potent weapons in the arsenal of a comic book writer. It allows for immense development of characters and enables writers to combine the strength of prose stories with those of more visual mediums.

Now, it’s not that it’s bad to simply not use them. But be consistent. Thought captions would’ve gone a long way in helping us understand Mary Jane better in the first arc along with elaborating upon her asinine decisions there.

Not to mention for a character so often written off as shallow or just eye candy wouldn’t an insight into her thoughts have helped dispel such accusations? Jed Mackay has been doing that pretty consistently since the first issue of his Black Cat run. There it has done wonders for Felicia and fleshed her out more.

It’s especially bad when we consider we got more of an insight into MJ’s thoughts and feelings in one issue  of Nick Spencer’s ASM run than in the entire five prior issues of her solo title.

Anyway, as her interview with Reilly Redding begins there is some quips and verbal jousting going on. Reilly asks if the movie has wrapped but MJ explains that McKnight and the crew are still shooting in L.A. Reilly asks if MJ is sure about that.

This isn’t a positive, more a general observation. I’m not overly familiar with chat shows, let alone American ones, but to my eyes the host seems influenced by Ellen DeGeneres.

Anyway, let me dispense with the pettiest of gripes first. I hate Reilly’s hairstyle. I hate that hairstyle in general. To me it looks really stupid, like you went for a haircut but gave up halfway through. That’s not in anyway shape or form a fair criticism. I totally own that. It is just a tiny point that really bothers me personally.

On the more positive side, Williams continues her frustrating tendency to nail  MJ’s personality traits within a problematic context. MJ’s social skills are one of her greatest powers and here her charisma and ability to play verbal tennis with Reilly is executed superlatively. When Williams does stuff like this she delivers some of the best Mary Jane writing in a long time. Which is why I hate saying and believing that she shouldn’t work on the character over all. She makes traits of MJ shine whilst nevertheless damaging the character over all.

Case in point, the movie is still filming right? And the Vulture (and probably the other members of the Savage Six) are still out there. Let’s be kind and presume they are in a new secret location. That means Vulture will still want to find out where they are, so all the people (and their families) from issue #4 are still going to be harassed by the Vulture’s paparazzi gang and potentially threatened by the six themselves.

Oh well, MJ still DGAF I guess.

Guess she doesn’t care that she’s appearing in public (in NYC of all places!) in spite of six villains now holding a very direct grudge against her.

Also, we FINALLY get the full name of the movie in the story itself, not the recap pages.

As the interview continues, MJ takes questions from the audience. One man asks what it’s like for her to play a real hero for the first time considering she’s played normal female roles before.

MJ responds that they are all heroes to her. She doesn’t really make the female role distinction quite the same way either. It’s more like she plays a hero who is also a woman.

The next question is about the weird press speculation about Cage McKnight’s conduct. The woman asking the question wants to know what he’s really like. MJ responds that he’s great, just dedicated to the craft and protective of his crew. She points out the paparazzi didn’t take kindly to him because he in turn didn’t take kindly to them hounding the movie.

Reilly then reveals McKnight is here for the interview.

Once more, Williams (with a huge help from Gomez’s art) conveys the charisma and social savvy of MJ here. Gomez’s body language demands particular praise. He conveys MJ’s beauty, flirtation, charm, etc. And he does it on multiple levels. The subtle genius of this page is how Gomez captures MJ putting on a performance for the public, to convince them she’s being utterly genuine and casual.

As for the dialogue, the best faith interpretation of the man’s question, he meant MJ has never played a super hero before, just normal non-powered women. He didn’t mean stereotypical female roles. That interpretation makes MJ’s response make more sense than if the former was the intent. So I’ll give Williams a pass and presume that was in fact her intent.

As for the second question it further highlights the unethical nature of allowing Mysterio to impersonate McKnight. The real McKnight has a lot of gossip and a new public image that was not of his own making. It wasn’t even an unfair fabrication by the press, it existed specifically because someone else was using his name, face and reputation for personal gain.

Also the audacity of Williams to directly reference issue #4 where Ken was harassed by the Vulture’s paparazzi squad but just ignore the fact that that should still be going on.

To MJ’s confusion Cage McKnight joins the interview. However, he doesn’t seem to know anything about the movie at all. He says the first he heard of the movie was when he was contacted for the interview. Meanwhile MJ frantically contacts Beck on her phone. Reilly notices and calls MJ out just before Beck confirms he’s still in L.A.

To MJ’s horror she realizes she’s sitting next to the real Cage McKnight who’s returned from his penguin expedition. Reilly asks why he came on the show if he doesn’t remember movie. Cage responds that just because he doesn’t remember making the movie doesn’t mean he didn’t. he explains that in the past he’s made movies in ‘artistic fugues’ and presumes this is just one such time.

*pinches bridge of nose*

Oh my Gooooooooood this is so dumb.

I get the desire to have humour in a story for the sake of levity. But the world of Spider-Man is not even remotely a borderline Deadpool or Harley Quinn or Lobo comic book. The humour doesn’t come from absurdity or a cartoonlike breaking of logic and reality.

And make no mistake, this is absurd. Scratch that, it’s contrived to the nth degree.

First of all I’m not that well read up on fugue states so I briefly consulted Wikipedia who had this to say:

Dissociative fugue, formerly fugue state or psychogenic fugue, is a dissociative disorder[1] and a rare psychiatric disorder characterized by reversible amnesia for personal identity, including the memories, personality, and other identifying characteristics of individuality. The state can last days, months or longer. Dissociative fugue usually involves unplanned travel or wandering and is sometimes accompanied by the establishment of a new identity. It is a facet of dissociative amnesia, according to the fifth edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5).

-Wikipedia

Basically a fugue state is a sort of similar condition to Dissociative Identity Disorder, more commonly known as having a split personality. Only instead of an individual’s psyche fracturing into different personalities that take dominance, it’s someone’s mind running away with itself and becoming someone else. The individual forgets aspects of who they are and becomes someone else.

A very good example within fiction can be found in the Doctor Who episode ‘The Next Doctor’. In it a man named Jackson Lake suffers a traumatic experience and in the midst of it (through a sci-fi gizmo) absorbs a lot of information on the character of the Doctor. His traumatized mind consequently decides to imitate what it regards as the Doctor.

What I’m saying is McKnight’s dialogue about his fugues are very probably bullshit unless someone can cite evidence to the contrary. 

Using the above description though McKnight has gotten this rare  psychiatric disorder multiple times and specifically in conjunction with his job as a filmmaker. Yeah, no. Not buying it and neither should you.

Being a film director isn’t a muscle memory skill you can’t forget no matter what. People with amnesia or Alzheimer’s disease do not forget how to play the piano or how to drive. But directing a movie? There are so many moving pieces to that job that rely upon you knowing how equipment and more importantly individual people operate. You have to bear a shitton of theory in mind too. It is physically  impossible to repeatedly  have fugues and then maintain that job.

And even if it was, oh my lord, that is the single most contrived thing in this series yet. Are you SERIOUSLY telling me that Mary Jane and Beck and the entire production got this  lucky. The guy who’s reputation is what the movie is riding on happens  to be someone who repeatedly deals with this incredibly rare mental condition?

Holy shit. That’s Superior Spider-Man levels of contrived.

And yet if you still swallowed all of that it still wouldn’t make sense!

McKnight presumes he made this Mysterio movie in a fugue state right? But he wasn’t, so he would remember his life during that period of time. Meaning that there are lots of public records and personal accounts testifying that he was making the movie at the same time that he  knows he was observing penguins.

If you suffer amnesia or blackouts or DID then there are obviously gaps in time you cannot account for. The overwhelming majority of people who deal with those conditions make a point of keeping track of those gaps, for practical reasons if nothing else. So McKnight would know that there isn’t a gap in time he can’t account for and certainly not for the time period the Mysterio movie has been going for.

Shit, the movie is still  filming! How the Hell does he believe he is still making this movie in a fugue state if he’s consciously aware of lacking any knowledge about it?

Not to mention if he’s been in the Falkland Islands this whole time. A quick Google search informed me that by plane it’d take over 14 hours  to travel between the islands and Los Angeles. How the fuck is anyone supposed to ever commute that distance, let alone regularly. And McKnight sincerely believes he was doing both at the same goddam time?

You couldn’t even argue that McKnight believes he made the Mysterio movie before his penguin expedition. Because the movie is still being made and all his other ‘artistic fugues’ would have a movie as proof of what he was doing during the fugues.

This is just mind-numbingly stupid and lazy writing. It smacks so hard of Williams trying to desperately paper over the holes in her initial story.

More importantly, how fucking stupid is Mary Jane or Beck to never considered this possibility? I don’t mean the fugue bullshit, I mean the idea of McKnight just coming back  from his penguin adventure.

Was Mysterio honestly so incompetent as to have never accounted for that? He seriously never had anything in place to make sure McKnight wouldn’t just decide to cut his journey short? Jesus, and I was dumb enough to buy his line about McKnight spending a year with the penguins.

Even putting that aside, what the flying fuck was MJ and Beck’s plan for when he eventually  came back in the first place? Say he really did spend a year with the penguins then came back to the USA. Suddenly he has a movie with his name attached to it and lots of controversy. Let’s say McKnight’s fugue bullshit added up, there is no indication MJ or beck knew about them. So how the Hell were they planning on getting away with the obvious questions he or his friends or family would have had?

And if they did know about the fugues, why didn’t Williams address that before? That was kind of  a lingering question hanging over the story until now wasn’t it?

God I can’t believe I paid for this!

On the next page MJ spots a guy in an Oni Mask backstage. She presumes he’s there to scare her as part of the show. However, she notices that the P.A.s haven’t seen him. Meanwhile Reilly set up a stupid game for them to play.

I got nothing to say about this page beyond McKnight’s dialogue. Williams is clearly trying to frame the real McKnight in a less than sympathetic manner. There could be many reasons why. I suspect one of the reasons is to incline us more towards Beck’s version of McKnight and to make us not feel as bad about Beck (and MJ) exploiting his identity.

Because being vaguely and lightly sexist means you deserve to have your career, public image, sense of self and life violated and damaged I guess?????????????

As Reilly brings in people from the audience to compete against McKnight and MJ, the latter thinks that there is something weirdly familiar about the Oni-masked man.

I have little to say about this page too.

Reilly’s attitude and facial expressions make me dislike her, even beyond her stupid haircut.

And as for the Oni-Masked man (I’ll just call him Oni for now) my only guess is that he’s affiliated with Mister Negative somehow. He had his goons wear Oni masks at times. And MJ interacted with them and Mister Negative himself in the popular 2018 Spider-Man video game by Insomniac; and it’s adapted comic book City at War. As such perhaps Williams is trying to tie-in or capitalize upon audience familiarity with that.

As MJ plays the dumb game he ponders if Oni could be a lesser member of Peter’s rogue’s gallery. Observing him again she notices him murder a civilian.

The dumb game annoyed me, but that’s just me.

Beyond that all I can say is that MJ’s dialogue about Peter’s rogue’s gallery is interesting. It proves that MJ has at least a working knowledge of Peter’s major foes. Which just further proves she would have been familiar with Mysterio and his crimes, just in case anyone was still clinging to the idea that she wouldn’t.

Also, the art and especially that splash page were beautiful.

Unfortunately for MJ, Oni notices she witnessed his crime. MJ is nervous and backs away in fear, annoying McKnight when she bumps into him. Meanwhile Spider-Man swings across town yelling for to hold on as he is on the way.

Gomez draws a nice Spider-Man.

Anyway, more of Williams making us dislike McKnight, see above for more on that.

MJ backing away in fear has me apprehensive. I don’t know if that’s in character for her. I guess the shock and surprise could’ve thrown her for a loop. And if Oni doesn’t notice her then it gives her a better chance of raising the alarm and capturing him.

I must say, I do like MJ being on the backfoot here after issues #1-5 made her often overconfident and over capable at times (see her nonchalance over the Savage Six in issue #5).

Also, isn’t MJ going to give Oni the benefit of the doubt? Maybe he’s sorry for murdering that guy just now. Maybe he wants to make amends by creating a movie about his life. So why is MJ so scared?

Sure, he just murdered someone, but what is that next to the laundry list of Beck’s crimes?

As it turns out, Spidey wasn’t on his way to save MJ. He was in fact en route to a French restaurant to have dinner with her. He is actually before MJ for a change.

I know Gomez isn’t the only artist on this issue and this doesn’t look like his work. Who ever is drawing it though is doing a very bland depiction of Peter with a overly wrinkly forehead.

The joke about him arriving first for a change was funny though.

Back at the studio, the show wraps up. McKnight insults Reilly’s profession just in case you’ve not realised he is a jerk yet. MJ thinks about persuading everyone to evacuate and searches for her phone. She notices Oni leaving and decides to leave her phone behind.

I already know MJ is going to pursue Oni herself. The stupidity of that aside why the fuck wouldn’t you grab your phone before doing that? You could use it no matter where you wind up and it wasn’t so far away that he’d get that much of a head start.

In fact, if Oni knows MJ is a witness why did he bother hanging around in the first place.

And why didn’t MJ raise the alarm immediately, the worst that would happen is the guy would run away. He’s just stealthily murdered someone and is in a mask. He obviously isn’t going to take the audience hostage, so if her priority is protecting innocents then raising the alarm immediately (or in fact earlier would’ve been her best bet. Yes that’d probably mean he’d have escaped but unlike with say Peter’s origin, getting him the Hell out of there would’ve reduced the immediate threat to the civilians present.

And on top of that if she figures he’s targeting her because she was a witness to his crime then by alerting everyone to his actions she’d have removed his need (at least for the moment) of sticking around to eliminate her, thus getting him away from the audience.

If he’s leaving anyway, MJ could also just grab her phone and put a call in to Peter, her super hero chums or the police and get them on the case immediately. If she was really so determined to go after this guy herself she still could but would’ve had a back up just in case he escapes or kills her. If she fails then she’s insured someone will still pursue him.

And as I copiously detailed in parts 19-22, MJ is not a super hero (and she knows that). She has no idea what this guy’s skills, weapons or powers might be, nor does she know what resources or assistance will be nearby to enable her to survive or subdue him. This isn’t like an armed cop, a martial artist or a super powered person going after a regular crook. She really doesn’t know what she is in for. Even if he is just a normal man, he clearly has a height and weight advantage over her, is obviously willing and capable of chocking a man to death and is armed. MJ meanwhile has little self-defence training, no weapons and hasn’t got the weight or muscle capable of taking him on if she’s backed into a corner. And she’s pursuing him back stage where presumably there is a fair chance of encountering many corners!

I understand that she doesn’t want to endanger innocent people, but there is no point in risking her life there is a much more practical and likely to succeed option available to her. Live to fight another day and all that. Yes the guy might hurt people during or after his escape but that’s a lesser evil vs. going after him herself when she is very unlikely to subdue him, far more likely to die and then the guy will get away without her having passed on any valuable intel on him to someone more qualified to pursue him.

Also once she sees the guy leaving she could just tell everyone the situation and ask the audience to stay put.

Basically if raises the alarm right there on stage and/or calls Peter or the authorities she is over all putting less people in danger and increasing the chances of the guy being apprehended in the long run. But no, instead she is going to gamble on the far slimmer odds that she can capture the guy.

Not to mention, why would the guy even give a shit that MJ saw him? Why would MJ give a shit that she is a witness to his crime? He is wearing a mask! She couldn’t identify him even if she went to the police. It is literally part of the reason her goddam boyfriend wears a mask!

And by the way, are there no security cameras backstage? Wouldn’t MJ consider that or Oni himself?

McKnight apologises to Reilly (so not that much of a jerk I guess) as MJ pursues Oni (barefooted) backstage. As she does this she rehearses what she will say to Peter in her head. This entails telling him that she had to get away from the killer. As she is thinking about this the body of Oni’s victim is discovered. Backstage she comes face to face with Oni who refers to her by name.

Yay. MJ deliberately planning on lying to Peter again. It’s so awesome that Williams understands why this isn’t a really bad idea for the reasons I pointed out in part 17.

By the way, I suspect Oni knows MJ personally rather than just recognizing her work.

I’m actually going to leave it there for now as the next part of the story has a shitton to unpack.

Previous Part

Next Part

Master Post

#Leah Williams #Amazing Mary Jane #Mysterio #Quentin beck #Spider-Man #mary jane watson #Mary Jane Watson Parker #mjwatsonedit #MJ Watson #peter parker #Doctor Who

[peggy-faces]

Mad Men rewatch: Season 1, Episode 1: Smoke Gets In Your Eyes

I finally got around to doing this months after I said I was going to start. Don’t say I never keep my promises.

I’m still trying to work out a good format for these recaps/reviews. Having watched this episode so many times before I’m not really sure how to approach this with fresh eyes but I’ll give it a shot. Bear with me, this is a learning process.

This episode is essentially just “24 hours in the life of Don Draper(with some Pete/Peggy hijinks thrown in)”. I genuinely love this and it is the perfect way to be introduced to these characters.

I won’t focus much on Don right now because there’ll be plenty more opportunities down the line, but the thing that struck me in this specific episode was the emphasis on Don’s age compared to Pete and the “younger guys”. 34 is basically a baby by today’s standards. Pete is only 8 years younger than him! Perhaps(?) the role was intended for a man in his 40s but they cast Jon Hamm instead?

A weird thing that’s always bugged me about the pilot. The show seems to set Pete up as someone who wants to take Don’s job. But Pete’s an accounts guy who never really shows that much interest in being in the creative department in the rest of the show.

Also, I’m still not totally sure what was up with Don’s “It’s Toasted” speech. That slogan has existed since the 1910s. Either Mad Men was attempting to retcon history or Don was using it as an example of a good slogan? The commentary tracks seem to suggest it was the former.

Meanwhile, a certain mousy working class girl from Brooklyn is starting her first day of work at Sterling Cooper. Peggy is my favourite fictional character in anything ever and I unironically adore her despite her faults so I’ll definitely have more to say about her in the future especially about her relationships with Don and Joan. But now I’d like to focus on her relationship with Pete.

In the closing moments of this episode, Pete shows up at Peggy’s apartment and she allows him inside, presumably so they can have sex. First of all, how the hell did Pete get her address in the first place. Secondly, Why? Why did Pete go to Peggy of all people? Why did Peggy fuck him? Let’s take a look at their previous interactions in this episode.

1. Pete insults Peggy’s appearance and insinuates that she’s sleeping with Don.

2. Pete lies to get into Don’s office and gets Peggy into trouble with Don on her first day of work.

I like this episode and I do like the Pete/Peggy arc throughout the show and they normally have amazing chemistry together. But this scene feels so inorganic that there was a lot of speculation that Pete and Peggy knew each other beforehand because that would at least make more sense than what we got.

Fun fact: according to the shooting script for this episode(easily Googlable if you want to read it), Pete arrives at Peggy’s apartment at 9:45. Which means Pete’s bachelor party must have ended at 9 at the very earliest in order for him to get to Brooklyn in time. What bachelor party ends that early in the night? And Pete must have spent chunk of time finding Peggy’s address WHICH, AGAIN, WE HAVE NO IDEA HOW HE EVEN FOUND. I like imagining Pete wandering around Brooklyn drunkenly asking random people where “Peggy” lives.

We’re also introduced to Ken, Dick, and Harry. Yes, Paul Kinsey’s name in the pilot was originally Dick but it was changed when it got picked up by AMC. Ken is the weird sleazebag and Harry is the married guy who does seem somewhat decent compared to Kinsey and Ken. Weird how things change, isn’t it? Paul’s the pretentious guy. At least that never changed.

And then, of course, there’s Sal. Hey, did you know that Sal was gay? If you didn't, you probably missed the numerous “subtle clues" that were dropped throughout this episode. And by subtle, I mean so blatant that the only way they could have been more unsubtle is if you could hear Matthew Weiner screaming "heeeeeeeeeeeeee's gayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy" in the background of every shot Sal is in. The most notorious example of this is when Sal randomly drops the line “we’re supposed to believe people are living one way and secretly thinking the exact opposite? That’s ridiculous.” It doesn’t feel organic to the conversation at hand, it just sounds weird. But if you look closely into the reflection in Sal’s eyes you can see Matthew Weiner patting himself on the back and congratulating himself on being such a genius.

But the most cringeworthy line of dialogue in the entire episode goes to: “It’s not like there’s some magic machine that makes identical copies of things.” Which is the sort of line you’d expect in an SNL parody of Mad Men, not the actual show.

The final plot twist of this episode is that we find out that Don is *gasp* married. Yes, this was actually supposed to be a plot twist. But I guess finding out that the dude who just claimed love was invented by capitalism has wife and kids would be pretty shocking if you don’t know what’s coming?

This is getting kinda long so I’ll touch more on Betty, Joan, and Roger in later instalments as they don’t get much to do here, as well as Rachel and Midge.

Random Observations

I really like the very brief interaction between Roger and Joan. I don’t know if there were was already plans for a secret relationship between the two, but it fits in well.

Elisabeth Moss seems to be affecting some sort of mild Brooklyn accent in this episode that doesn’t exist in the rest of the show. Kinda weird but it does make sense that Peggy would try to hide her working class background later on.

Is this guy in the opening scene Pete? Because he looked like Pete when I was watching it on Netflix but when I put in the DVD to listen to the commentary, he didn’t look like Pete anymore. Pete’s evil twin? Pete’s non-evil twin?

Commentary tracks

There are two commentary tracks for this episode. The first has Matthew Weiner and the second has director Alan Taylor. There wasn’t really anything particularly juicy so I just wrote down the BTS stuff that sounded interesting.

The pilot script existed for five years and Matthew Weiner used it as his writing sample when he applied for jobs.

Weiner was planning to play the role of the judgmental gynaecologist himself. Make of that what you will.

This is the only episode of Mad Men actually filmed in New York. The bar in the very first scene is a real bar in Harlem called the Lennox Lounge.

It took them a long time to cast Jon Hamm, partly because Taylor didn’t believe a man that handsome could be interesting.

Taylor calls Midge the most modern person in the show. Her apartment is a real artist’s studio on 57th street. They were warned it would be impossible to shoot there because it was on the seventeenth floor and only had a tiny elevator and no space for equipment. They built a set based on this apartment when they started filming the show in California.

The traffic sounds you hear in the scene where Don wakes up after sleeping with Midge are real New York traffic sounds.

The actors for Kinsey, Ken, and Harry felt they had to bond so they went out to drink together every night. At least that’s the excuse they used.

If you look carefully at the end of the elevator scene with Peggy and the guys you’ll see Rich Sommer(Harry Crane) walk off to the right because he had mistakenly thought they’d already cut. Classic Harry.

Taylor says the scene with Lucky Strike was very reminiscent of Bewitched and I agree, which is why I initially described Mad Men as “Bewitched with less magic and more adultery” when I was first started watching.

Something weird I noticed: Alan Taylor only refers to Matthew Weiner as “the writer”. Bad blood? Can’t remember his name? Guess we’ll find out in the inevitable Mad Men BTS tell-all someone writes in ten years.

The strip club was a real retro-style strip club in New York.

They’d almost completely run out of money by the time they shot the scene of Don on the train so it’s basically just a piece of plexiglass with water dripping down it. 

Taylor says he dislikes the use of the song Caravan but I actually really like it. 

Overall, great episode, albeit one with some glaring flaws. I give it 7 Scowling Petes of 10.

#tupf mad men rewatch

[tessatechaitea]

Batman #48 & 49: The Best Man

#Batman #Tom King #Mikel Janin #June Chung #DC Comics #The Joker #Catwoman

[talenlee]

Okay, so straight up, Sam and Max Hit The Road is one of my favourite games. It’s a point-and-click adventure game with some frustratingly obtuse puzzles. I don’t know if I can even recommend it as a game per se because the times I struggled with the solutions to its ridiculously obtuse view of the world are all so far in the past that I can’t imagine how anyone would solve them. Some of the puzzle solutions are positively arcane.

When you boil down a lot of point-and-click adventure games, they have one problem: Use key on door. In fact, sometimes games that tried to do something different (like Future War and Full Throttle) were criticised for the involvement of those other elements. In Sam and Max Hit The Road, there’s a handful of, y’know, bits and stuff designed to introduce other puzzles and problems, but none of the game is too hard once you grasp the thread of the game’s weird poke-it-and-see methodology.

So, right, as a game: It’s good, but it’s of its time. The GOG release brings automatic saves and windowed play and those are nice modern conveniences. Okay? Play it with a walkthrough nearby but don’t follow the walkthrough directly. Just use it when you’ve poked everything to laugh at the responses you find, but not to remain stranded in a narrative point for a while. I like it, I think it’s good, it’s cheap and it’s really funny.

And hey.

Now.

Let’s do the heck out of talking about Sam and Max Hit The Road.

Culture

Sam and Max Hit the Road is a game that really couldn’t be made today, and we know that because when Sam and Max got episodic content that content worked more or less at odds with the way the game felt, but more about that later when I talk about the sequels. Everything in the game had going for it was one of those lightning-in-a-bottle moments for its genre, for the gaming culture, and even for the company that made it.

It was made by Lucasarts, the only people who could comfortably make fun of Star Wars in the gaming sphere, who had access to some top-notch graphic assets (in the form of artists) and an engine that they knew inside and out. What’s more, that engine was really good at this one specific type of game and didn’t try to get weird or cute with it. They had the tools and the skills and the people and they had an idea for an intellectual property that was very much being built on the creative mind and work of one of the people working on the game rather than chasing a marketable franchise. Basicaly, Lucasarts had enough money and clout to make something nobody cared about before they started, and made it excellently enough that it endures even now some twenty-three years on.

While games like Day of the Tentacle and Indiana Jones and the Fate of Atlantis sought to represent a location or a single movie’s adventure narrative, Sam and Max Hit The Road wanted to make its whole story about a ridiculous road trip across an enormous country and show a resting state of considerable, constant weirdness. This meant that the game was about showing off a culture, and that meant that most of the game, for all that it’s about following an interruption to the status quo, is about representing a status quo that somehow all fits together – a default state. And that means you can look at Sam and Max as a little time capsule of the childhoods of the people who made it reflecting on the America they knew released into an America that was.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Sam and Max represents a world that is pre-cellphone. It’s 1994. There are phone booths – and one factors into a puzzle. It’s pre-internet, too, and the world it depicts is the Weird America of that pre-internet life. If you journey across Sam and Max’s America, you’ll be treated to a series of roadside weirdnesses. Their starting point, a office in the big city, is crime-riddled and surrounded by degeneracy. There are gunfights at random, a store selling GUNS, LIQUOR, BABY NEEDS (which still makes me laugh) is on the corner, and violence ensues at almost all opportunities.

It’s when they’re pulled out of this needless depiction of 1990s inner-city crime and poverty that they streak across the country looking at this compulsively weird culture, and that culture is something that’s sort of faded. It’s a given in Sam and Max that there are UFOs and Bigfoots and roadside attractions with strange dark fates to them and tourist traps that are themselves, actually real things. There’s Jesse James’ severed hand in a jar and it’s just, y’know, there, in a carnival. There’s even a puzzle about finding a location on the map that lies between other, extremely ludicrous magical locations.

It’s this particular view of America’s middles and betweens as being populated by the unnatural simply forgotten by the cities that has faded in recent years. The era of the cellphone and the universal camera means that a lot of the things that Sam and Max jokes about existing are kind of past beliefs, with new, much more dark and hateful conspiracy theories replacing them.

There’s something childish about it, too. There’s something lovely about how you play with paper cutout dolls, or a diner placemat map, or that you can play Travel Carbomb (and that’s a name that aged poorly, fast). It’s a game that remembers being on these journeys as a passenger.

Values

There’s a lot of subversion in the oddness here as well. There are some locations that are literally interchangeable with one another – functionally identical spaces but for some minor, superficial changes. The Snuckeys are all the exact same locations, with the exact same key items and dialogue and puzzle solutions, a little subtle poke at the very nature of American tourist trap franchising.

Yet at the same time, this little corner of capitalist culture features a little glimpse of one of the other values that runs throughout Sam and Max Hit The Road: Happiness.

Whenever you meet people, broadly speaking they are doing okay. The story represents a whole range of people across the United States, mostly people who are working in touristed areas, doing menial jobs or thankless tasks… and they’re okay.

Most people aren’t happy, not wildly so, but they’re okay. There’s the Snuckeys employees, who are all identical and talk about having to comply with the brand’s standards, but they’re okay. They take pride in their work. They enjoy things in their work. There’s a man whose business flooded and he devised a solution. There’s food servers and store owners, there are tourists and hobbyists and yes, some bigfoots and people solving their day-to-day problems with rebranding efforts, and mostly, people are okay living their lives in their weird ways. There’s no apocalyptic sadness or unhappiness – there’s a certain joy for all these people who are just enjoying what they enjoy, doing what they do.

The thing that’s really interesting to me is the story only really represents a small number of people as being unhappy. In fact, specifically, there’s only one major character who both starts and ends the game unhappy, and that’s Conroy Bumpus, who is also depicted as being vain, self-obsessed, cruel and rich. Conroy built a monument to himself in his ranch and he spends much of the game disappointed and unhappy because he can’t have what he wants – a non-human humanoid to torture. The one other probably-wealthy person you see in the game is Evelynn Moriss, who is depicted as being a bit spacey but also using her wealth and position to benefit the bigfoots – who are her guests.

Narrative

Hell, let’s talk about story structure because, inexplicably, Sam and Max Hit the Road has a good one. I’ve spoken about how good stories that want to feel rooted to the real world are ones where there’s a single instigating event, like in Stranger Things.  There’s a single instigatory event in the narrative, but without that instigating event, the other things in the story exist and would have existed in a sort of stasis. The Bigfoot party was going to happen whether or not Bruno showed up; Conroy Bumpus was always fooling around looking for a Bigfoot to add to his collection; and Sam and Max weren’t even going to do anything different with their day unless the instigatory event happened.

That event is Trixie, the Giraffe-necked girl, conscripting the Fire-breather to free Bruno, with whom she’d believed she was in love. Trixie is a lot of things (it’s kind of weird she’s white but I’m also super relieved she isn’t black), and her story is silly, but she’s still someone who wanted something, made a plan, and took action to make it happen. It’s kind of hard to hold her up too high because she is ultimately a silly character in a silly story where almost every character you encounter is an incompetent boob, but she’s not worse than anyone else?

That’s another thing, too! Hit The Road has like, women in it? After replaying Space Quest games it’s kind of dizzying to realise that Sam and Max, with its four women with speaking roles, is a lot better about women than some other games of its era. Because holy hell that’s so depressing. FIVE! And none of them suffer anything randomly terrible – though I suppose Trixie does get kidnapped at one point, which sucks. There’s also a woman in the introduction who is herself not a character, but does exist to show up the awfulness of the self-styled Nice Guy archetype.

Still, in this era of Oh Yeah Women Exist?? it’s amazing to see this game treats them in a way that’s Definitely Not Good Enough, but still is so much better than many of its peers. It has a better plot and better character representation than many games of its generation – and this is a game where you play a talking dog who’s friends with a lagamorph!

Verdict

You can get Sam And Max Hit The Road on GOG, and that’s all for now.

Verdict

Get it if:

You already own it in some other format

You know you like point-and-click games and want a large one

You want a game that’s funny and want to marinate in it

Avoid it if:

You’re looking for a game that’s mature in its problem solving

You’re really not into the use-thing-on-thing school of problem solving

You want all your puzzles to be very key-on-door solutions

[continuity category=8]

Game Pile: Sam & Max Hit The Road Okay, so straight up, Sam and Max Hit The Road is one of my favourite games. It's a point-and-click adventure game with some frustratingly obtuse puzzles.

#Bigfoot Problems #Conroy Bumpus #Lucasarts #Roadside Americana #Sam And Max #Sam And Max Hit The Road #The Death Of Pop Country In The 1990s

[aharboredcollectionofthoughts]

One of my good friends, in a very deep conversation the other day, explained to me that true artists must suffer. I hadn’t really considered it before; she was absolutely correct in every way. Some people, and not to say not everyone possesses the ability, because all humans do… we’re born into the world with the same experience, presumably, as every other human, right? With that in mind, consider life experience as a concept. Each person’s perception of the world is drastically different. My personal perception of the college campus I walk on every single day is relative to each and every one of my experiences. By this I mean every single hardship and conflict I have faced, I do still think about, whether I wish to denounce this or not. Humans tend to essentially equate to a sum of their personal experiences. I look at trees as a beautiful work of art simply because my life experiences, real experiences with other humans, have led me to the idea that there is static beauty in trees, specifically coniferous trees. There isn’t really a quantifiable or explainable reason as to why I like conifers in particular, they just scream aesthetic beauty to me, and have since before I can remember. Static beauty is just something that, as a human, I have always appreciated.  With the concept of humans being a total sum of each and every one of the experiences they have in fact experienced before, consider that just because one’s personal perception of an event is positive, another person’s perception of that same event could be negative. Association is the reason for this. I have come to realize a lot of my pure hatred for conflict, yelling in particular, stems from watching a disastrous and extremely unhealthy relationship occur before my eyes, my entire life. It is not because of this that I tend to form extremely meaningful and strong bonds with the people that come into my life, rather, it is because I understand that there is no fulfillment in meaningless relationships. Every single person I have met, throughout my entire life, has touched me in some way. I mean this, and if any of those people ever come across and read this, they should know without a doubt in their mind, whether it’s been weeks, months, or years since we last spoke, that their existence is part of the reason I think the way I do, and have such appreciation for not only human life, but the concept of life in accordance with time and existence as a principle concept. I have my theories about what happens after death, which are also the sum of not only my experiences, but the sum of every religion I’ve learned about, every scientific fact I’ve come across, and the people I’ve met and have been touched by throughout my whole life.  With this all in mind still, consider that there are certain events or even certain people that will touch one’s mind in such a way, sometimes even unknown to this specific person, that will prompt an absolute epiphany or masterpiece. For me this notion can be simply attributed to the fact that I used to write a plethora of things in middle school, but because of a specific person I met, and was seemingly very touched by at the time, stopped writing as often. That was a large chunk of my life as an existing human up until this point, as I thought this was my first love. I learned, through another specific person, that the person that hindered my abilities rather than enhancing them to an unexplainable level, was not the person I first fell in love with. My poetry works, though seemingly ambiguous, are centered around very real people, and a very real person I should say, and real events that make up the sum that is my experience as an existing human being. I am not denouncing what I had with what I thought was my first love. What I am attempting to explain to the reader is the difference between love and infatuation, as people often like to call the topic of conversation. My works, centered around this person that randomly was placed in my life… reflect not only the sum of my experiences, but what I feel and perceive this person to be as an individual human being. Because this person has never hindered my ability in anything, rather enhanced it in every way, I say that it is love, and not infatuation. The first sentence of this speaks of a good friend. She is an amazing person, I just have to say. And if she does in fact read this, she’ll know. She won’t doubt it’s about the specific conversation we had just days before. I go back to what she said to me not only to prove a point, but to attempt to explain my works, without stating anything specific. The person that I have become not only engrossed in, but inspired by, is one that is not a constant in my life. I say this because it seems, and is somewhat fact, that everything is against us working as two coexisting human beings that want to be with each other indefinitely. In the coming year, he must leave, and I knew that from the very beginning, yet I allowed it to happen. I did it for a reason. Then, it was because I felt that I not only just needed to experience this human being in my life, but that I really fucking wanted to. Because I allowed myself to have the experience, and I’m still in the middle of the experience as I set on my bed and type this on this Saturday early afternoon, I have blossomed.

@aharboredcollectionofthoughts

#spilled thoughts #spilled ink

[ramblingsofthegoldenwitch]

(You've commented a fair number of times about how you don't like EP7 much compared to other EPs. If you don't mind elaborating, what are your complaints about it?)

It’s difficult to explain my feelings in regard to Ep 7... and they might feel like things that affect just me so, everyone, if you feel like digging in this explanation, consider yourself warned.

In fact, to be honest, some of the issues I’ve with it are a matter of personal taste, for example I didn’t like at all how it was structured (as in the way the whole story was delivered to us) and I felt like many choices in it weren’t really necessary to the plot. All this can of course be countered by another person with a mere ‘but I liked it!’. We’re all different, after all, and my tastes don’t rule the world or dictate what should be likable and what shouldn’t.

Some issues I’ve about it are in regard to how ‘confusing’ its presentation is. No, I’m not talking about Will giving us obscure answers, I’m talking about the huge Meta structure that basically permeates all Ep 7 and that is never well explained. By now I’ve my theories and I’ve more or less sorted it out but the problem is that they’re just MY theories, MY interpretations. People come asking me what in the world is going on in Ep 7 and all I can reply to them is what I THINK is going on but I can’t say for sure and what makes it worse is that I don’t think we needed things to be so confusing. Umineko had better Meta ways to deliver things that had already been used. No need to complicate everything by making new ones. Of course, again, there can be people who loved all this.

Another issue I’ve with it is the Theatre-going authority. We’re lulled into thinking that it will push characters to tell us things, and that their testimony will be the truth. All the people Will uses it on were ALREADY willing to speak (even Kinzo was persuaded to do so by Lion) and they tell us an extremely personal, sometimes even deliberately mendacious version of the truth (Kinzo was the one who wanted to kill the Italians, not Yamamoto). The effect of the theatre-going authority is fundamentally the one of a giant fantasy flashback. We already had them, no need for it... unless they were supposed to be red herring? The only person who didn’t want to talk is Shannon, Will tries to use the theatre-going authority on her and then… gives up. It seems as if the theatre-going authority only existed to let us see Shannon going in ‘freaky/robot mode’ (it varies according to you reading the VN or the manga). It’s one of the things I felt we could go without.

A small issue is about Will, Lion and Clair. Although I love them to pieces, plot wise I feel we didn’t need those extra characters. I wave it off because… well, I love them madly because Ryukishi is awesome at creating characters. This doesn’t change the fact I get the feelings the addition of those extra was a tad forced.

A concrete issue I’ve with it is how it hand waves certain matters, just appealing to our suspension of disbelief on threat that if we think too much at it we’ll get a headache. Those things could have been explained one way or another but instead… no explanation is given for those oddities happening. They just… happens and we’re either asked to swallow them or make up our own explanation about why such odd things took place.

Will’s presence on the island? Hand waved, no one wonders how this strange got there or who he is, even though it’s a private island and he wasn’t on the boat with the adults. He walks in their private property out of nowhere and no one stops to wonder who’s this guy and from where it comes from, not the servants who should know who was invited nor Kinzo, the master of the house or… everyone else, really. Krauss asks him who he is but then he drops him with Lion and ignores the whole matter, because evidently that’s no more a private ceremony in a private chapel in a private island but a public place. Lion is the one who has a vaguely normal reaction and asks Will why he’s at the funeral, when a better question would be how he got on that island.

The portrait hanged in 1984? No reason for this is given in Lion’s world, it’s just something Kinzo decided on a whim.

Battler’s absence from the conference in Lion’s world is unexplained (yes, my Battler/Sayo heart shipper tells me it’s because Sayo wasn’t on the island but that’s my heart talking, not Umineko. Knox would wave it off as a random guess…).

The same goes for Kinzo’s decision to hold Beatrice’s funeral that year… in which nothing special happened. Kinzo just woke up that morning and decided to hold a ceremony to mourn Beatrice. When he didn’t feel like it when Beatrice truly died.

We aren’t told why Natsuhi changed her mind and accepted Lion even though it’s apparently extremely unlikely. Natsuhi just woke up and decided that hey, maybe tossing him off a cliff would be a bad idea.

Kinzo doesn’t notice how Rosa is screaming she killed Beatrice.

The whole story of how an Italian submarine carrying gold came to Japan is historically illogic as submarines in such conditions would historically go to Spain. To make us swallow it we’re told that maybe they had a reason to go to Japan but ‘nobody knows it because who knew died’. For the gold the same principle is used. It was hard enough to think it was Italian but then Will randomly tosses in it could be German which opens up an even huge can of historical worms and again the whole issue is hand waved with a ‘oh well, we don’t know’.

Clair doesn’t ask Will the solution for all the mysteries. Of course we believe Will knows everything but if we accept she believed he knew everything also then why questioning him in the first place? If I’m not wrong Ryukishi claimed somewhere he wanted to focus only on the riddles that seemed difficult but then the whole scene ends up on being a plot contrivance to deliver to the readers some answers in an obscure way. Oh, it’s artistically pretty and I love it for its prettiness, but it’s plot structure is shaky.

Note that Ep 7 (and Ryukishi) also raised questions in points that didn’t need some.

The tale Battler wrote for Beato? The fandom knew it was Dawn only EP 7 described it in such a way people didn’t really find it matching with Dawn plot so people started wondering if there was another tale written for her and it didn’t help that Ep 7 manga version didn’t bother posting the title on the book cover, something that Ep 8 has no problems making (note that, due to how the manga was printed the two scenes didn’t exactly came out at years of distance but were pretty close so I don’t see where’s the problem in confirming things in EP 7).

Battler’s letter? Maybe in the Japanese fandom things were different but I didn’t remember people doubting he merely didn’t write it until Ryukishi in an interview raised the issue there was more about it… before dropping it completely. The letter is never addressed again. Not even in Ep 8. What broke Sayo’s heart is just… hand waved. Battler doesn’t know about it and while in Ep 8 he’ll apologize for not coming back he’ll never get a head up about the letter matter.

We’re all disgusted by Kinzo’s behavior with Kuwadorian Beatrice? If I don’t remember wrong Ryukishi tells us we don’t really know how things went between them… which is true but it’s clear enough they were horrible enough to push her to follow a complete stranger and try to escape. Not knowing the details of the rape doesn’t really erase it. Unless we’re supposed to doubt the whole story Rosa told us as well as what the servants told us and think that Kuwadorian Beatrice slept with Kinzo willingly and that she left Kuwadorian only for a short walk that ended poorly.

The family conference in the year in which Battler should have come back is conveniently skipped. Or handled so poorly it seems it’s skipped. We actually have a scene from 1980… but it doesn’t look like a family conference and people talking about what will happen in ‘that year’s family conference’ (Kyrie will supposedly show up) reinforces this opinion only it turns out that the next conference we’ll see is the one of 1981… Maybe a problem in the translation? Still it doesn’t work well.

Shannon feels up on asking Genji and Kumasawa to lie to Kinzo, Krauss and Natsuhi and also… hire her as Kanon. And no one notices a thing about this boy whose face is the same as Shannon and that doesn’t come from the Fukuin house as no one of the Fukuin servants could know him but… out of nowhere, really.

Kinzo pulls out the epitaph, which is a hint to Genji that he knows Shannon might be Lion and Genji gives hints to Shannon about how to solve it but… he, Kumasawa and Nanjo don’t stop thinking to a less traumatic way to break the truth to her in those almost two month it’ll take for her to solve it as if they couldn’t realize how traumatic it would be for her. No, the idea of Ep 7 is that they had to traumatize her which requires them to be either jerks or dumb… while it could have more or less worked if everything had happened without them having the chance to predict it and so, caught by surprise, they ended up saying things in a poor manner.

We spiral down with the teaparty. We’re left with the adults in a definite situation, Eva and Hideyoshi are arguing with Krauss, Natsuhi is instead arguing with the other siblings… then all of sudden we’re told that Natsuhi jumped on Eva and this caused her to get shoot. The manga worsened things by showing that the two groups were even distant and that Eva and Natsuhi were giving each other their backs and it kept on worsening things when it insisted on how EXACTLY THE SAME THING would happen in Lion’s world as well, with the only difference that Lion would be called in Jessica’s place. I can swallow that the siblings were in economical troubles even if Kinzo was alive and hated each other so much that they would still argue and kill each other but… different conditions should cause minor shifts in the plot. Instead the only difference between a dead scene and the other is in how the gun next to Eva is placed… which can be the result of a mistake done due to the change in perspective… and well, that Beato isn’t there.

Then there’s Kyrie’s characterization. Kyrie is supposed to be suspicious, careful, rational. All this flies out of the window when she decides she can trust that the credit card really will lead them to all that money without checking first, that there’s no way to convert the gold without Krauss’ help when Sayo, in order to get money on that credit card, should have been able to do it, that the bomb will surely explode even through its mechanism wasn’t tested, that the range of the explosion surely won’t involve Kuwadorian, that the safest way to go through it will start gunning down people instead than grabbing some sleeping pills from Nanjo’s bag, drugging everyone and then gunning them down and, worse of all, she doesn’t check neither Sayo or Eva’s corpses and misses their vital points rather badly even though we were told she was good with guns. Note that I can accept that Kyrie would consider murdering everyone… but I’ve issues with how careless she becomes.

Rudolf too comes as a little odd as he knows he has a defective gun but doesn’t go take another one. It’s minor as Rudolf is lazy… but well, when you’re going on a killing spree and a defective gun can cause you troubles you should play on the careful side. But well, I can swallow it.

Battler’s ‘disappearance’ also doesn’t work well. Ep 8 explains us that the solution to this is ‘Battler left the house then, all of sudden, remembered he didn’t remember the way to the chapel and came back to ask about it to Gohda’ which feels silly as: Kyrie shouldn’t have sent him in such a place considering how it was easy to predict he wouldn’t remember where it was or should have made sure he knew the way (it’s well known that the church is hardly used and Battler had been missing from the house for 6 years, you can expect him not to remember were it is) and Battler should have asked her where the church was. So again, Kyrie comes out as careless and Battler leaving to realize he doesn’t know where to and coming back comes out as a plot contrivance.

On a general note… I think that the previous episodes better addressed Sayo’s issues than the whole of Ep 7. Ep 7 focuses a lot on how ‘it’s all Battler’s fault’, when he actually wasn’t the only one to blame, and generates the false impression that this was Sayo’s only problem. It’s true that there are hints in Ep 7 that this actually wasn’t her only problem but after getting all that ‘it’s Battler’s fault’ for so long, with Will agreeing to it as well, the other issues seem minor when they actually played a big role. Sayo also comes out as petty, pushing the blame of her actions solely on Battler, when we know that in Prime she actually took responsibility for them. So ultimately I think Ep 7 did her a disservice.

Ep 7 also lost a good chance to dig deeper into the motivations of minor characters like Genji, Nanjo and Kumasawa for setting up Sayo’s life in a manner that was… simply terrible.

I’ll let slide the whole matter of how they let her believe her sex was female without even bothering to prepare her for the fact she wouldn’t develop secondary sex characteristic or be able to become pregnant because Umineko wanted to keep in the dark Sayo’s sex and use the full trauma of her discovering her own condition as one of the driving forces for the whole thing (even though the fact that Ep 7 completely overlooked on the whole matter ended up making it look less important than it was).

Let’s focus on the fact they kidnapped Sayo and gave her a new identity so that Kinzo won’t make the same mistake and rape her, which is understandable really, but then they took her back on Rokkenjima AS AN ORPHANED SERVANT, when she was too young to work and under the disguise she was actually younger. Kinzo could have recognized Beatrice in her again, think this time Beatrice reincarnated in a person unrelated to him and rape her all over taking advantage of the fact that now she was his servant. It’s a horrible plan and their decision for going through it is… poorly explained.

Then there’s the loss of a chance to let us know more about minor characters like Kinzo’s wife (where was she when the baby was handed to Natsuhi since she was clearly still alive to scold Rosa and push her to escape in the forest and meet with Beatrice? Natsuhi claimed that Krauss and Kinzo were away but what about Kinzo’s wife? Did they drag her along?) or how Asumu, a young woman with no health problem mentioned, suddenly died, to dig a little better in Battler’s six years away from his family and his feelings for Sayo (he’s jealous she chose George but then he can brush it off… so it looks like it isn’t a big deal… only we’ll learn in Prime he risked his life for her more than once and, hadn’t she died, he was willing to spend the rest of his life with her).

Then there are issues I’ve specifically with the manga.

In the scene in which the culprit shows up for the first time… the culprit’s form is slightly kept in the dark but we can see she’s not Shannon, she’s not Beatrice and she isn’t even Clair. There’s no reason for this person in the dark to be an ‘extra’ person.

Kinzo’s wife has no face nor name. I can get over the fact they didn’t give her a name, not on the fact the mangaka didn’t give her a face as there’s no reason to obscure it. She’s not hiding some dark secret. We won’t learn the truth about her later on as we’ll do with Asumu, whose face will be showed only in Ep 8 (bless Ep 8). Yes, maybe they wanted to drive home that for Kinzo she was a ‘not entity’ (his children too get no face) but still… I don’t like this. Personal taste? Maybe.

The manga tossed in a bunch of nameless maids who… go nowhere really (when it would have been so much better if, as someone (myself included) speculated, they also were vessels for things like the Chiesters or the Eiserne Jungfraws) as they don’t get names and just… disappear, while waited to introduce Reinon. This is more or less a direct transposition of how the VN handled matters, only in the VN it worked better as there were no random new faces, just random voices so you could speculate it was a 7 sister maid the one speaking and it wasn’t so clear that Reinon popped up later. The manga makes obvious that’s not the case.

Ep 5 manga version implied the promise happened on the same balcony on which Beatrice, in Ep 4, asked Battler to remember about his sin. This was a wonderful new info but… it goes completely skipped over in the manga transposition of Ep 7. Ep 7 manga version transposes faithfully the novel and just focus on the scene in the garden… where no clear promise is made. Sayo just urges Battler to come and he confirms he’ll do but he never says ‘I promise’ nor they’ll make a pinky swear.

Overall, Ep 7 isn’t fully to blame for most of the issues I’ve with it.

The background behind the Umineko plot is one of an huge amount of extremely unlikely facts happening one after the other, most of whom we’re asked to figure out. While unlikely facts can and will happen, often, in stories in general and in mystery stories in particular the author usually avoids them or explains/excuses them. Umineko just… embraced them as if the unlikely were the ordinary and Ep 7 was the point in which we were asked to do the same, often without being given a convincing reason for having to do this beyond ‘it was unlikely but it just happened, insert devil’s proof here’.

That’s why I wish the manga had at least dimmed some issues I had with the novel version, for example handled better (and not worse) why Eva ended up shooting Natsuhi or how Kyrie and Rudolf murdered everyone in Lion’s world as well.

Most of those issues weren’t IMPOSSIBLE to handle. They just weren’t explained, hand waved with an ‘it happened, don’t think too hard at it’.

As a result, I feel Ep 7 was handled poorly and the manga version did nothing to fix it. It’s my personal impression. I know there’s who loves Ep 7 and how it handled everything and, as usual, that’s fine.

#Umineko #Requiem of the Golden Witch #Umineko VN #Umineko Manga

[katzirra]

2017 may be the year I grab by the dick and force to be a good year by sheer force of will, but I’m also fucking screaming because it’s the year I’m officially hitting the base of all my emotional and mental trauma and having to push through it and IT IS NOT FUCKING FUN FOR ANYONE. I mean 2016 was the start of it but 2017 is the BRUNT PAIN of it for me.

Most people wouldn’t know or notice because my exterior output but mm. I’m not showing or talking about MAJORITY.

It’s like by nature I am actually REALLY fucking timid and passive and compliant, I just have a very extroverted exterior in relation to once I’ve been provoked or tapped?? I fake energy and excitement and all that to not appear timid and such? I don’t like being asked what I want because I DON’T KNOW?? I’m so... low key. I am a LAZY FUCKING CAT. I am not named Kat for NOTHING. REALLY.

That’s... I don’t want people to do things for my sake? I like companionship. I like people to be happy. I like to feel helpful and needed. I like to do what I can. I’ve spent my life servicing people and being there for people that I don’t know what that question MEANS? I don’t know what I want to do half my days I have FREE TIME?? I am constantly like h-hey who is up to hang out?? And not asking people... -rubs face- I’m trying SO fucking hard to get BETTER about EVERYTHING. ALL. AT. ONCE. ust for MY sake!!

I’m exhausted with being this way... I want to be happy and okay and have less drops and less feeling like I’m awful and more thriving because I know how fucking gOOD of a person I actually am?? I try SO HARD and I work SO HARD and I push myself and I offer to do SO much... I encourage and uplift and I really like positive energy and stuff while still being realistic and... I like all these things about myself. It’s the fact I have bad sides that I reign in and manage that I will get swarmed and drowned by.

I don’t understand that question. Anytime my girlfriend asks me what I want to do when she gets home I’m just like... I don’t know, I have a compliant mood, what is YOUR mood in the mood for?? BECAUSE EVEN WHEN I’M NOT OKAY I WILL SUCK IT UP AND ACT NORMAL FOR OTHERS?? It’s just how I AM?? People can’t FIX those moods for me really and I...-rubs face- I don’t know.

What do I want. I want to be happy and feel like I deserve to be happy? I know at my highest highs I am a good person, I do everything I can for people, I love to do kind deeds for no pay off, I love hearing compliments, I love hearing things people appreciate about me, I am awkward as fuck about it but I love hearing my values. I like to draw for people. I like to write for myself. I like to doodle little things for myself. I like to feel good in my own skin. I like to feel pretty. I like to feel like I mean something. I like being told I love you. I like feeling secure. I like feeling like things are under control and going to be okay.

I want to feel safe in my own skin. I want to know things are going to be okay. I want to know I’m worth my bad days. I want to stop being scared I’ll be abandoned for the next pretty face or better artist friend that waltzes by. I’m so USE to shit, man.

What do I want...

I like conversation. I like existing in a space with someone. I like webcamming and staring at people doing their thing, or catching eyes and just smiling because it makes me happy. I like feeling that thousand mile gap is smaller. I like watching shows and making fun of it or having a good time with it. I like watching movies and making STUPID fucking jokes or referencing garbage ships and amusements because it’s my CHEESE since highschool. I like listening to music together while we do our own respective things because it’s spending time together being productive, and not taking away from eachotyher but... having companionship so it doesnt feel like an awkward silence...? I don’t know... mm.

I love learning about things that people who matter to me like, and I love when people tell me they think I’ll like something or I’d enjoy something. I love the warm feeling in hearing “I thought you’d like it” because it means you took my interests into consideration.

I will CRY at so many stupid things, I yell at myself at how much of an overly sentimental shithead I am because WHEN PEOPLE SEND ME DUMB LINKS ON TUMBLR I LAUGH. MY TAGGED FOR ME TAG IS SO VARIED AND HILARIOUS AND AESTHETIC THOUGH... IT’S ME. IT’S PRECIOUS. My eyes WATER SO EASILY and I just... I don’t know -rubs face- Mm.

The nice shit people send me notes about my personal posts about thank you it helped me. Thank you and good luck. Thank you for showing that side of yourself because it helps. LIKE... I’m o SORRY people know the struggles I deal with too, because I know it SUCKS and I know I’m CONDITIONED in how I respond... fuck. So I know a lot of people STRUGGLE HARDER and it hurts my heart but I’m glad to know me succeeding or seeing me fight gives them a little fight to keep going sometimes...? Mm.. To inspire and ignite the fight to go on. Blah blah blah.

I like feeling like even if I’m a fucked up shithead because I’m fucked for brains emotionally DAMAGED, I am working so hard to UNDO ALL THAT AND IT’S REALLY FUCKING HARD FOR ME. I don’t TALK About half my emotional damage, it just kinda.... EXISTS and I react shitty and timid and fucking MM. I REACT TO THINGS A CERTAIN WAY because that damage exists and I have to OVER WRITE IT.

I have the possibility to overwrite A LOT with my girlfriend visiting and I’m SCARED as fuck to meet her face to face actually!! I have self image issues. I have confidence issues. I am really.... -wiggles hand- odd about things. I don’t want to be too forward, or too timid. I don’t want to this or that - like THERE’S A DOZEN THINGS IN MY HEAD even though actively I’m like; It’s going to be fine. Like brain is running around burning filing cabinets, but reality is like leans back in chair with sunglasses and finger guns, I am so not stressed. I’m excited more than anything.

You know how far I’ve thought ahead? I’m going to get there a half hour early or more, park my fresh bitch new car, remember where I parked, take my 3DS, kill some Pokemon and wait. When she lands? I’m gonna SMOOCH the fuck out of her and greet her with the BIGGEST smile. We’re gonna go to baggage claim and I’m gonna hold her little hand and carry her luggage and we’re gonna get food or something. Everything else is what it is??

Sometime that week we’re gonna go to Crown Center to Crayola Cafe and the crayola store and the fudge shoppe~ I’m gonna give her soooooooo many obnoxious smooches through the week, so long as I have the okay to do so, because whoo boy do I love giving smooches.

We’re gonna go to Zona Rosa where I work~ We’re gonna go on a date to a restaurant sporadically that week and or on our seven month anniversary.

I’m gonna be a WEEPY SAD KAT when she goes home.

THAT’S..... THAT’S IT. I’m not thinking about all the details and shit. I’m not focused on it. My brain is though. My brain is background sifting through past experiences and being like BUT BUT BUT and I’m like shut tHE FUCK UP I CAN’T WORRY ABOUT IT BECAUSE EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT AN IT’S ALL BODY LANGUAGE??

All I can think is I can potentially wipe out all the fucking shit with Alice, Kenna and Cas with this visit just being.... normal!! She ACTUALLY loves me and I’m not a means to an end!! There’s no fucking ULTERIOR MOTIVE. She’s coming here because we wanna be big dumb gays together and we LIKE eachother -  hoooooooooooly shit.

That is LITERALLY all it’s going to take to literally SCRUB OUT A HUGE STAIN IN MY EMOTIONS. It’s going to take just her legitimately landing here and showing me ANY positive emotion/action??

I’d probably light up like a christmas tree with a fucking blush to boot being told I love you randomly and that’d be the fucking ICING on the damn cake.

I am so fucking EASY to rewire because all the struggle to deal with is ME untangling the wires!! My bars are so fucking low that it’s like once I sift through all this shit all I have left is just mm triggers and especially bad memories to deal with, and that’s fights for another day? Even those I’m... passive to? I just kinda feel awkward and uncomfortable in my stomach anymore... -rubs face-

I hate being asked what I want.

I want what I always say I want. Anything you want to do or feel up to doing. I’ll figure out the details if you give me a parameter. I’m okay with the BASIC and BASE existing around someone, most people AREN’T and need some kind of stimulation. I like throwing on stupid music or whatever sometimes...

Asking what I want when I tell you I want to do something with you, depends on if you want to do it. If you’re not up to it - I’m not really up for it then. I don’t know.

I’m lazy ambitious. If there’s no mutual or group gain from me doing a thing, I don’t really want to bother??

#kat life #i lost focus andm y coffee is cold #theres an ice storm outside #I have work tomorrow #me@god why this

[douchebagbrainwaves]

YOUNG FOUNDERS ARE NOT A NEW IDEA

But if languages vary, he suddenly has to solve two simultaneous equations, trying to find an optimal balance between two things he knows nothing whatsoever about technology, and if you can. That might sound like an attractive prospect, and yet still fail. The other thing you get from using a powerful language. We were surprised how much time I spent making introductions. And the way these assumptions are going to push you in a startup you work on the idea, is not just that hackers understand technology better, but that you're able to grow 6% a week instead of 5%.1 The first is probably unavoidable. There's inevitably a difference in kind. In every field, technology magnifies differences in productivity.2 This was, I can say more precisely. Considering how much time I spend in email, it's kind of scary to think how much I'd be justified in paying.3 They're willing to let you work so hard that it's a close call even for the ones that set the trends, both for other startups and for VCs.

In Microsoft's case, it might be. Apparently when Robert first met him, Trevor had just begun a new scheme that involved writing down everything about every aspect of his life on a stack of index cards, which he carried with him everywhere. A Lisp macro can be anything that's rare and portable. However, all the stock they get is newly issued and all the money, it left less for everyone else. Places that aren't startup hubs are toxic to startups.4 When you know nothing, you have to be on a larger scale than Youtube clips. Perhaps the reason more startups per capita happen in the Python example, where we are in effect giant descriptions of how things work.

Now here's the same paragraph rewritten to please instead of offending them: Early union organizers made heroic sacrifices to improve conditions for workers.5 What they do instead is fire you. Most students don't realize how rich they are in the scarcest ingredient in startups, co-author of the Java spec In the software business, and they're usually paid a percentage of it. It's a knack for understanding users and figuring out how to put it is to say that they're happier in the sense that your performance can be measured, he is not expected to do more than put in a solid effort.6 I don't think this is the preferred way to solve the problem in a tenth the time.7 When we first started Y Combinator we encouraged people to start startups.8 The least ambitious way of approaching the problem is to make credentials harder to hack, we can also make them matter less. Among other things, incubators usually make you work in their office—that's where the word incubator comes from. And, by no coincidence, the corporate ladder is probably gone for good. All previous revolutions have spread.

When I ask myself what I've found life is too short for something. A round?9 And the success of any company. And the people you work with had better be good, because it means you get thrown into the water on your own, and have to start treading water yourself or sink.10 An obstacle downstream propagates upstream. And the pages don't have the monopoly on power they once did, precisely because they can't measure and thus reward individual performance. Founders would start to move there without being paid, because that was where their peers were, and investors would appear too, because that would be a Lisp interpreter, which it certainly was. The program is canceled.

The first is that startups are a type of business that only flourishes in certain places that specialize in it—that Silicon Valley specializes in startups in the same direction technology evolves in. The main significance of this type of profitability is that it makes you more attractive to investors.11 This turns out to be extraordinarily responsible. I assume they got this number from ITA.12 Europeans are somehow racially superior? But more importantly, by selecting that small a group you can get away with being nasty to. It would crush its competitors. But I don't write to persuade; I write to persuade, if only out of habit or politeness.

Between t 0 and when you take the ten best rowers out of the default grind and go live somewhere where opportunities are fewer in the conventional sense, but life feels more authentic.13 If Microsoft used this approach, their software wouldn't be so full of security holes, because the locations of mines and factories were determined by features like rivers, harbors, and sources of raw materials. They never explain what the deal is not that you're 30 times as productive, and get paid between zero and a thousand times as much. But if you control the whole system. We didn't even know when we started that our users were called direct marketers.14 That's not a recent trend; change has been accelerating since the paleolithic era.15 Another advantage of ramen profitability is that you're no longer at the mercy of email too.

Well, if you're not.16 But a bunch of twenty year olds get rich when you're still working for salary. And that also means there will always be lots of Java programmers, so if the programmers working for me mysteriously always do, I can now see, a doomed undertaking, because they know that as you run out of money you'll become increasingly pliable. They'll simply refuse to work on projects with the wrong infrastructure.17 Present-day Fortran is now arguably closer to Lisp than to Fortran I. There are a lot of money to keep it. I know.18 An example that will be useful to you in a direction you like. He didn't learn as much as he expected. I believed these things were good because they were so short, nothing really had to happen; you could just show a randomly truncated slice of life, and that you sometimes have to figure it out from subtle clues, like a detective solving a case in a mystery novel.19 At Viaweb one of our rules of thumb was run upstairs. A startup is like a giant galley driven by a thousand rowers.

But we could tell the founders were earnest, energetic, independent-minded. It will always suck to work for some existing company. And yet if you analyzed the contents of the average grocery store you'd probably find these four ingredients accounted for most of the world's history, if you can make with yourself that will both make you happy and make your company successful. This essay is about only one of them.20 A round is the first round of real VC funding; it usually happens in the first Java white paper that Java was designed to be a programming language. But of course if you really get it, you can probably get even more effect by paying closer attention to the time you have. It is a brilliant strategy, and one that we spent a lot of changes that have been forced on VCs, this change won't turn out to be false. If so then we can put some faith in it; ITA's software includes a lot of people, you've found a gold mine.

Notes

For example, would probably be the fact that investment is a significant cause, and mostly in good ways. If you seem like I overstated the case of Bayes' Rule. If an investor I saw this I used a recent Business Week, 31 Jan 2005. The US is the last they ever need.

Like us, the best day job writing software. Wolter, Allan trans, Duns Scotus ca. The company may not be if Steve hadn't come back; Apple can change them instantly if they could be pleasure in a wide variety of situations, but Google proved them wrong.

Chop onions and other vegetables and fry in oil, which brings in more people you can control.

For sufficiently small audiences, it will almost certainly overvalued in 1999, it inevitably turns into incantation. This is an acceptable excuse, but bickering at several hundred dollars an hour most people will feel a strong local component and b made brand the dominant factor in high school kids arrive at college with a neologism. Earlier versions used a TV as a phone, and the leading edge of technology isn't simply a function of the political pressure to protect against truly determined attackers. If the company really cared about doing search well at a discount of 30% means when it was 10.

One reason I stuck with such abandon.

Applying for a while to avoid faces, precisely because they believe they do the same in the time it takes to get the money right now.

Ashgate, 1998.

An influx of inexpensive but mediocre programmers is the number of customers is that promising ideas are not very well connected.

Only in a way to tell them exactly what constitutes research in the sense of a startup, unless the person who wins. I didn't like it that the angels are no false negatives. Success here is defined from the other reason they pay so well.

The key to wasting time is distraction. Some people still get rich by buying their own interests. Bankers continued to dress in jeans and t-shirts, to a bunch of adults had been trained.

Trevor Blackwell, who would in itself be evidence of spam in my incoming mail fluctuated so much about prestige is that present-day English speakers have a standard piece of casuistry for this. You leave it to the principles they discovered. The more people.

Seneca Ep. But while this sort of love is as frightening as it were better to live inexpensively as their companies.

The markets seem to be some things it's a bad deal.

Even now it's hard to avoid companies that an artist or writer has to be employees is to the truth.

If Ron Conway had been trained. The wartime versions were much more depends on them, not lowercase. I remember about the size of the scholar. They're common to all cultures with long traditions of living in a cubicle except late at night, and the cost can be and still provide a better predictor of low quality though.

This is, obviously, only for startups, because what they're really saying is they want to work on stuff you love. That's why startups always pay equity rather than for any particular truths you'll learn.

According to the ideal of a refrigerator, but the median VC loses money. In the Daddy Model that it would not produce a viable organism.

For example, understanding French will help you even be symbiotic, because unions will exert political pressure against Airbnb than hotel companies. So when they were more dependent on banks for capital for expansion.

Nothing annoys VCs more than the don't-be-evil end. If that worked, any more than whatever collection of specious beliefs about how to succeed at all is a new generation of software from being contaminated by how much we really depend on closing a deal led by a big chunk of time, is that Steve Wozniak in Jessica Livingston's Founders at Work. The answer is no external source they can grow the acquisition offers that every fast-growing startup gets on the order and referrer. Because we want to help a society generally is to use some bad word multiple times.

For example, if you hadn't written about them.

#automatically generated text #Markov chains #Paul Graham #Python #Patrick Mooney #people #interpreter #business #reason #world #investors #politeness #li #difference #revolutions #zero #equity #peers #ingredients #olds #magnifies #employees #cubicle #times #technology #VCs #Microsoft #Java #power #startup

[whitelennykravitz-blog]

I guess Warsaw now has very high contrast memories for me. I’ve been there twice: once on a fickle weekend for sex, and now on a weekend that was dense with my life. This second time was a Friday through Tuesday that included everything: laughter, crying, broken teeth, and mental spaces that both seemed insignificant and insurmountably oppressive.

I’ve been seeing Katarzyna for about a year. Or I guess we met about a year ago, when I walked into the building that housed my new studio, and saw her alit on a balcony wearing a kimono. I say “alit”, because she seemed to be drifting around the concrete railings after having just landed from above, with ivy around her that clung with an air of casualness to walls that showed no signs of hand holds.

She introduced herself a few minutes later and I was smitten. Her face beautiful and turned towards mine, and eyes that held vast confidence that clearly masked severe self-doubt. Eyes like mine. I think that’s why we got along so well. And the sex. Which was amazing. Although, we had the worst first sex I’ve ever had in my life. About halfway through there was a moment where we both looked at each other and the unspoken was almost deafening as it reverberated around awkwardly entangled limbs, “Do we really want to keep doing this?” I would have never thought that sex so clumsy and awful could ever become what it did. Insatiable. Our sex life was the Brussels sprout of my sex life: intolerable at first, and now craved and lusted for.

She was not so keen on me at the start of things. In fact I think she didn’t like me. But something of me found hooks in her, and vice-versa, and a year of fucking in clubs, lead to long distant telephone calls across the world, to us finally landing in the same area of the world once again, where I decided I wanted to break up. It’s hard to tell if it was a flare up of the crushing depression I suffer from that is what caused me to pull the trigger, or the fact that two artists hanging out is basically a pingpong match of people starting sentences with “I”. All those “I”s and distance and it became a practice of spending time with someone while somehow still being completely alone. Either way, distance and the sensation that I was screaming behind my face made me call it quits.

I initially did this over Skype. Never break up with people on Skype, especially if they are prone to large swings of emotion. I now know this after a 4 hour session of being yelled at, being called a coward, and then being told how much I was loved.  This all ended with us planning on meeting in Warsaw to talk about things face-to-face. I know that doesn’t logically follow, but suspend disbelief in the details of this story.

We decided to put off Our Talk until Sunday, giving us 2 days of pretending like we were a real couple. We saw friends, went to exhibitions, fucked like we were trying to redecorate rooms through kinetic energy. I don’t think I’ve ever navigated the texture of so many surfaces with my balls before. This was due to a stage of the fucking that meandered through a foyer and kitchen, where different ledges and surfaces (each adorned with it’s own selection of free range objects, knobs, and finishes) meant a new terrain for my balls to high five like a drunk frat boy at homecoming. Oven knobs, keys, and a steak knife, I believe, were all involved at one point.

We spent some time with her friends: artists she knew and an ex-boyfriend. The ex, had always treated me sort of like shit telling me that weekend, in condescending tones, how to pronounce Katarzyna’s name correctly while we bought beer in a convenience store. Or maybe it wasn’t condescension, but just the protection of someone who knew I was a day or two away from really hurting her. It’s hard to tell. The first time I met him he walked into the room briskly and declared “tell me something about you.” Which is a dismissive and affronting command that I tried to laugh off, as I thought about the ways gorillas establish dominance. I also thought about how I really didn’t have anything to say about myself, but the first thing that came to mind was to tell him the last thing I had had to eat. After this first meeting, Katarzyna agreed something strange had happened. Feelings that still dwelled? Anger over their breakup?

Katarzyna loved to talk about how beautiful she was and I could see how certain men looked at her. When I look back at the group of characters that I was flung through, I’m trying to guess which one she’ll fuck now. I guess that’s pretty stupid and shallow, but it’s the truth. My money is on Dawid, a photographer/PhD in art, who clearly likes Katarzyna, and who she clearly likes the attention from. Maybe he’s the one.

We also had a dinner with her brother who I had never met before. His boyfriend and he met us at an Italian restaurant where I watched the dynamics of sibling order take over, as Katarzyna turned into a younger sister, with simplified vocabulary and school girl antics. I think the love between siblings has the potential to bring out their deepest insecurities. Maybe it’s because they can’t let their ego swell up in the face of someone that knows them so well.

The breakup talks started the next morning, Sunday, around 1pm after a night in a shitty club, doing some shitty drugs, and having some rough sex that ended up with Katarzyna chipping two teeth. She was into getting slapped and thrown around during sex, but with the teeth grinding invoked by this particular drug, one slap ended with a chipped bottom and top tooth. This now gives us one more thing in common, besides our narcissism and being lovers, as both of my front teeth are chipped due to a night that involved acid, cocaine, a flaccid penis, and a woman intent on fixing this with an extremely eager blowjob (which I could only look down at both with fright and awe while I bit down so hard, that I broke my teeth. This woman, Cleo, was actually someone that I dated after a particularly long relationship, and on this teeth breaking night I had randomly ran into her at a bar and somehow ended up walking back to her place as I explained, “I’m pretty fucked up and definitely can’t get hard.” And she nodded with a sly smile like she knew something I didn’t. But she didn’t know such things. It was like a mall cop standing outside an English football stadium in the throws of a riot and saying, “Don’t worry, I got this.” before bolting into an entrance with too much enthusiasm.)

It’s an interesting connection to notice, because Cleo was the first person to get me into rough sex. Ropes, gags, and pushing the limits of physicality. We met when I didn’t have a room of my own — I was floating around Seattle — and I asked to use my friend Jon’s room for a date night with her. After being tied spread eagle onto his bed, fucked, and hit with a belt, we took a break for drinks, only to have Jon and his girlfriend return to his room. I guess a pro tip here is: don’t leave a bunch of ropes tied to the bed of your friend, with a random belt and a heap of condoms presented almost like gifts at the foot of his bed, when this friend has a very jealous girlfriend. This girlfriend will never talk to you again.

But Katarzyna and I took all that to a whole new level. It’s not a place to unpack here, but she made me reframe what a physical relationship is: the celebration of the independence of two bodies that choose to spend a moment of time together.

Anyway.

The thing about breakups is that both people want to be understood. To be heard, and acknowledged. The problem always is that if you both understood each other perfectly there probably wouldn’t be an issue in the first place; the issue would have been fixed. So the Long Tail of relationships can happen where you mix arguments with breakup sex over and over in the hope of baking the perfect We Both Understand cookie. This cookie doesn’t exist.

An extra piece to the whole thing was that on Sunday around 2 or 3 hours into talking/yelling, Katarzyna’s mom called to say her grandpa had died. This wasn’t out of left-field, he had stopped eating and drinking fluids a week before, but the timing was somewhat absurd. Over drinks the following day Katarzyna jokingly retold the story of our breakup, as if talking to friends, saying “and then my mom called to say my grandpa had died, and he thought, ‘nah, I’ll still break up with her.’” There’s a lot I want to say about her grandfather. But there are only a few snippets that popped into my head when I heard he had passed: he was in the war, his wife was mean to him, he had seen too much. My sister remembered that he had an apartment that looked exactly the same since he moved into it after the war. It was like going back in time. I didn’t remember this, which made me feel very bad.

There was a lot of crying that weekend. From both of us. At a certain point I broke down and wailed like an animal. Katarzyna drew me a bath and lead me to it as I seemed to be overplaying the part of a lobotomized patient. There was a point right before where I thought, “this looks good if I seem to feel this bad.”, but then I realized I actually felt that bad; playing crazy and then realizing no game is actually happening. 

She soaked a scarf in the hot water and draped it on my head. Splashed water on my shoulders and back. She couldn’t help but flick my cock once. That’s one thing: she creeped on my body hard, all the time, and it was the sweetest thing. The next day I was able to return the ritual to her, making her a bath and caressing her as she wept and took deep breaths.

I think she performed the ritual better: my approach felt a bit like applying sunscreen to someones face using only the backs of my hands.

Such strong emotional engagements in bed made for some interesting conflicts between body and mind. Katarzyna would scream or cry, but this look would creep in her eye, and she would excuse herself in an emotional explosion, getting out of bed by pushing off of me, her hand placed fully on my chest, or resting precariously close to my cock. It was like subway creepers “accidently” brushing against strangers. Similarly, I would be talking and holding her, and suddenly be completely hard. We were in middle school, slow dancing; a lot going on with maybe only a 30% conscious understanding of what was happening.

I think as I get older and look at what I have failed to accomplish, it can be hard to hang out with younger people making something of their lives. The whole breakup conversation was made worse by it being lead by a young woman driven and dedicated to a certain path. If I had been coming to awareness of my poor basketball skills while talking to Lebron James, the sensation would be similar.

I cried, and laughed, and fucked, while thinking, “that could be me!” Which is actually a funny sentiment to have with her as the previous year she had thrown me a surprise party where everyone was wearing masks of my face, which I then asked if she could wear during sex. We cut a hole in the mouth and I watched my unblinking face as I blew myself. It felt a little like getting a blowjob from a character in Goldeneye. After I gave myself a facial, she put on one of my sweaters and jumped eagerly onto all fours on my bed, looking over her shoulder. My face peeking over the shoulder of a beautiful young woman’s body, which made me see my normal face as one begging for sex as I tried to put everything together in my head. I couldn’t finish fucking doggy style. It felt like a bit much.

Anyway, I had technically been her at one point in my life. And fucked myself. Which seems very similar to the current situation.

On Monday we woke up late and I think I ate the best pussy of my life. Katarzyna’s entire body became paralyzed and she retreated to a ball and started crying. She was terrified at not being able to move and described something that, to me, sounded like her pussy throwing up all over her body. I’m sure the intense emotional context had a lot to do with it, but I’m going to go ahead and give myself a gold star anyways.

We went out for one last date together. We drank Prossecco and got a seafood platter that reminded me of how I hated seafood platters. It’s a lot of work spread across suspicious flavors; all Mike and Ikes mixed with black licorice that is too salty. But the point is they’re fancy and it seemed like a thing people get on a first date, which maybe are also the perfect things to get on the last date.

I left early the next morning. We lay in bed those final moments and I told her I loved her.  It felt a little like saying hello to say goodbye; Hawaiian customs adapted to a failed relationship. She stood in the apartment’s entry in a kumano. Her body a stripe down the open front. Light switches and door bells seemed to hover around the walls. But the door wasn't a good place to say goodbye, because half of my mind was on the elevator arriving. It did. I entered, and it closed around her body, the building swallowing her up.

I’m still trying really hard to remember exactly the look in her eye. Probably over the years it will be many things.

I turned to look at the mirror in the elevator and my hair looked like shit — I looked like shit — and I thought about how this is exactly as she would remember me.

I thought about two nights before as we both entered the elevator and immediately did the preening checks that most are wont to do in elevator mirrors: the subtle turns of the face and drawing of facial muscles, as we quickly scan the imperfections that we are trying to hide.

I can see her pretty clearly in the mirror at that moment, as stacked layers of a woman seen on a balcony, in a doorway, and through some things in-between that seem hard to put my finger on.