#I SHOULDNT HAVE TO ITS 2023

[philosophicallie]

also being short in the western world is fucking humiliating and not even in a compare your appearance way. its the fucking constant lack of fitting clothing because your proportions are so fucking short because you total up to fucking FIFTY FIVE!!!! 55 inches ONLY

small sized clothing will usually still have 4-5 excess inches for fucking standardization IM NOT THE STANDARD IM A STUPID SHORT ASIAN IMMIGRANT JUST LET ME HAVE SMALLER CLOTHES WITH SOME FUCKING DIGNITY

#this is a very personal problem and i wish i could complain more but i dont have theq energy and all i have are tears #but like i already live thru the embarrassment of asking for help constantly and using stupid ass ladders #cant i at least fucking have some actual short people pants please. please. i have to geqt shit tailored or start doing mods myself but #I SHOULDNT HAVE TO ITS 2023 #i literally want to die tonight so i can stop being a burden on my bfs bc i can feel it i can feel how taxing i am and i know i shouldnt be #thinking this but like. i cant stop. i make it hard to be my friend i make it scary to be nice to me all i wnt to do is attack bc im hurtin #but thats not. gonna make me feel better in any way but thats not gonna stop the constsnt impulse in there to just start screaming #and its worse knowing thwt no matter what route is taken ill still get angry. or maybe i just want them to be angry about me already so i #have an excuse to get wngry back and idk. feel catharsis through that or something #idk. i hate my stupid brain and i hate my stupid ex for making me hate it more #im so angry and i have no one who is comfortable enough to deal with that so instead ill sleep earlu @ #idk i hate differences they make me fixated on all the ways i can get angry about it so idk how to deal w that #i have so much to compare + i cant say it bc if i do then theyll be conscious abt it/theyll know its smth that just adds .1% to anger meter #ugh i think were hoing to moms this Christmas and while thsts nice i dont. have the emotional capacity to confide in her #i only want my mom. but i cant tell her any of this bc theres nothing that she csn even do #other than just throw money at me for support #i hate this #original #vent

[angelkissedface]

la balance de la justice.

#art #2023 #fanart #been working on this one since saturday lads #mostly as a manifestation ritual bc i didnt have enough pulls to actually get her guaranteed TT #but i got her on soft pity so all is well bwahaha #also forgive any inaccuracies to her designs here i did all the linework and flats before her banner so i couldnt get good refs #esp for her ousia colour scheme #im immensely pleased with this though!! #its technically unfinished. i wanted to emphasise lighting and shadow but honestly im tired of working on it #and im doing comms rn so i shouldnt be too indulgent with personal pieces haha #genshin impact #furina #focalors

[art--harridan]

[Image description: A digital drawing based on the film One Cut of the Dead. It's a close-up of the arms of Ko and Chinatsu as the former approaches her, arms in a raised zombie pose. She clenches an axe which she pushes towards him. Both of them have blood splattered on them. Director Higurashi stands behind the two, hands clutching a camera which is recording, its red tally light standing out. His face is blurred into pixels but it's still clear he's smiling wide. The sketches are not coloured, the background peaking through. They have a dark brown lineart while the background is a sickly yellow that reddens around the edges. In the same red as the tally light, the words "one cut of the dead" are written down the right side of the piece, stacked on one another. The font is irregular and bleeds down. On the other side, there's an larger tally light which also bleeds.]

Inktober - Day 30 (Rush)

Film - One Cut of the Dead (Shinichiro Ueda, 2017)

#inktober #inktober 2023 #one cut of the dead #one cut of the dead fanart #digital art #blood #the penultimate day 😳 #anyway one cut of the dead is such a good film #i wont spoil it just have a watch #cos uh basically #lots of people quit during the first half which you shouldnt #and probs dont read about what happens b4 u watch lol #just a very fun experience lol #also this piece makes it look a lot more sinister than it actually is... its a horror comedy (emphasis on comedy) #anyway song of the day is i am the living dead by harley poe <3 #another harley poe one :D

[knuckles-bloody-for-me]

I would like to say I too don't give a hoot about American football, but I do give a hoot about Taylor being happy and if the person she's dating is a decent human being. I think because seeing her date publicly is something we're not that used to anymore some people are having a gut reaction to it being in the news and on here a lot which is fine, but trust me it will die down again. I mean when she wasn't at his games during the break I literally saw maybe three posts that mentioned him so. I agree I don't like making everything she does about him like some headlines (looking at you Entertainment tonight), there is a degree where it's like your friend is happy and in love and that joy spreads, and once we're all used to it it'll be business as usual

#just some thots #have seen people say theyre sick of seeing him which is fair!!!! #the world in general shouldnt revolve around stalking any celeb to see them with someone #but i think for some of us its fun too to see her happy and dating publicly #not about anyone specific just im seeing two vibes on my dash #one is happy and omf the lore of 2023 #the other vibe is like please stop talking about killatrav #and i sit in the middle

[captainbasch]

i absolutely obliterated my hands putting two Ikea Havsta units together - WORTH IT - last week and have been on hiatus ever since. BUT hopefully I can return soon with some autumnal themed ychs 👀 I want to offer some smaller more affordable pieces and a few more detailed ones. Probably wont have anymore nouveau ones for the rest of the year tho :(

#i have been watching a lot of lighting videos on my downtime. but i need to apply them to get them in my brain. stupid wrist! T v T #i am dying to learn but i honestly shouldnt draw again for another week BUT ALSO 6.5 is tuesday!!! #Where is the brain to computer/controller technology - its 2023 were supposed to be scifi but instead were dystopian

[iamthekarmapolice]

when i have to go into the environmental variables in advanced settings to add paths for java

#its 2023 i shouldnt have to do this why cant you do this for me? fuuuck i hate java so much

[robocops-a-christ-allegory]

I was gonna say this in the tags of my previous post but Ill make it separate. Last Peacemaker post.

Its kind of interesting how (80s.) comics Peacemaker is simultaneously alot more independent then show Peacemaker while also still being tied down in specific ways. Like hes in a pretty bad situation with the peacemaker project and Checkmate basically trying/threatening to run his life for him but hes also capable of telling them to fuck off and when he really wants to cant actually be stopped from just doing Peacemaker Stuff. Also in the rejected solo run he was able to successfully fake his own death and get away from All That Shit.

Like, comics Peacemaker is a wealthy diplomat with his own money who runs around the world doing Peacemaker stuff. Show Peacemaker seems to be financially reliant on his father and also kind of seems like hes never left the US outside of like TSS. Its interesting

#Also a friend made me accept once that 80s peacemaker was as much of a stereotype as current peacemaker but I still think #they shouldnt have redneck coded show peacemaker i still think its lame #Im not saying I think show peacemaker being how I described him in this post is bad though I do literally #just think its a interesting difference #And i want it to remain a difference I dont want comics Peacemaker to become show Peacemaker #Im so fucking sick of people thinking show peacemaker is the first time hes ever been interesting its starting to actually annoy me because #Im worried theyre gonna show synergize him to hell. Kyle Starks do not blow this for me #Also Mr. Starks please bring up Elizabeth Smith and have her contribute as much to how Peacemaker Is Now as his dad did #Let Peacemaker Have Mommy Issues Too 2023

[n0ct0urn1quet]

hgonesly at this point i really do wish i could just say Fuck It and disappear off the face of the earth for a little bit bc honestly . i donot want to be alive

#2023 off to a banger start for me (got into an argument with my mom on new years about her bf reminding me of my abusive dad #and havent had peace or a good nights sleep since!!!!!!!!!!!) #i am absolutely fucking miserable and i just donot want to Do It anymore #i hate this house i hate the people i live with i hate this world and i hate everything thats happening to jme but i cant do anytihing #i cant do anything to Fix Anything i cant do anything abt my problems theres just so much Wrong With Me that i dont know how to fix #i dont know if i CAN fix most of the issues i have. i have so much ptsd and trauma from so many different things and its all just. hghg #and i want so badly to just let it out and talk to the people Around Me about it bc it is Serious and i shouldnt be just not talking about #it but. i just cant bring myself to Do That. i am constantly afraid that the people around me will be angry with me if i even so much as #speak up about the things that make me upset and its not their fault and its no ones fault but my own and i just dont know what to Do #im scared of confrontation and im worried that if i try to talk about it its gonna lead to an argument!!! i know it wouldnt but im terrifed #so id rather just not talk about it. which then leads to the problem not getting resolved because. fuck man im sure the people around me #know that somethings up but i never bring it up so therefore they never find out and it gets swept under the rug like all my other issues #i pride myself on being good at being emotional and being open but in reality i am emotional. yes. but not at all good at being open #ive never been good at it and i feel so BAD because like. yes i love you. yes i trust you and i know you would never ever be mad at me #for just talking about my feelings. i know this and i love you for it. but im so bad at conveying that. even though i trust you with mylife #im just bad at opening up. it does not matter how long we've known each other its just such a struggle for me to Be Open to anyone #of course its not much better that im coming to tumblr and puttign this here for 100+ people to see but just. i dont know #im mentally unstable ive never had good coping mechanisms and im the only person awake and everyone else that i usually vent to is asleep #so all my thoughts just get piled up into one messy little ball and it gets thrown to tumblr because i need somewhere to put them #im sorry. im exhausted. its been a long week and i wish i could just hybernate for the rest of the month and not interact with anyone #i just wish i could mvoe out and live with my gf and our cat. that is all i want and that is the only thing that would fix me

[waterfall-ambience]

head in my hands i need to rewrite the entirety of perpetua arc 1 NOWWWWW

#auri rambles #draft 2 shouldnt take as long because i kind of know what i'm doing now and i've been editing as i go #there are loose plot ends that i was like 'okay that gets resolved in a future arc' but theres not enough focus or build up to that #until they become relevant again. #perpetua progress notes #welcome to the state of auri waterfall-ambience 2023. in which theres minimal evil xisuma posting and the show is just #'watch me try to shape a story out of this mess in real time' #its okay though! the whole point of draft 1 is to have something to work with and refine later. #its the shittiest version of the story.

[maverickflare]

I used to always get mad when ur art got recommend to me because of your blog title alluding to x*msai cuz I dated a xemsai stan. Like I was "xemsai is a fun thought experiment toxic ships can have cool dymanics (as long and itd be legal irl ya know?)" But he was "mmm i love toxic power dynamics" and actually? Yeah you're right all x*msai fans go to hell no matter what. you're right that was a red flag and I missed it. Following now

david wins by having critical thinking skills

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA for telling the blunt truth to my roommate, that shes immature, irresponsible, and rude?

[-.-] < so I can recognize

so I (20) have three roommates, A(20), B(21 or 22), and C(20). We all attend the same college. I have lived with A for 2 years, but we only started living with B and C in fall 2023. so far there have been some issues, and most of them revolve around interacting with C. C has a cat, and they keep the litterbox in their room of our apartment, so they always have their door open. This itself isnt really a problem, but I feel like its eroding the distinction between common space and their personal space for them. Often when there is another conversation happening at the table or on the couch, C will come out of their room, sit on the couch, and watch loud videos on their phone without headphones. Then, they will hear a small part of our conversation, react in TOTAL shock and awe, demand we recap the last 5-10 minutes of conversation to catch them up, then go right back to their video. On another occasion, I was talking with either A or B as well as C, when C said they were overstimulated and needed some quiet time (no problem with that, it happens) so they were going to put in their headphones and. stay in the living room on the couch. instead of going to their room.

They also will completely derail conversations into complete dead ends and traumadumping. I was driving, C was in the passenger seat, and B and our friend G(18 or 19 iirc) were in the back. we were chatting about our parents being silly and making harmless fun of us at various points, and C multiple times said "we're not talking about times my parents took away phones bc Trauma!" like. If you dont want to talk about it DONT BRING IT UP. C could have chimed in w a time their friend did something like that and it would be fine! but instead they latched onto the parent part. They do this fairly often, and it makes it really hard to have a conversation where we casually mention our childhoods, bc its always a minefield w C, as they will make a point to bring up that they lacked the circumstances for whatever experience we are talking about, either due to bad relationships w parents or due to growing up poor.

On top of all this, they also are not financially in a good place. They routinely dont have money for food and end up eating mostly communal stuff. Sometimes when they are low on money I will end up buying something communal just so they will stop carrying on. IMO if they are in that sort of financial situation they shouldnt have gotten a cat, bc I honestly dont think they can afford it. tbh I feel like they pretty much live on the cheese and tortillas I buy, and i'm starting to feel the financial stress of it.

They are constantly making every interaction about themselves in ways that make it really hard, even when they arent even part of the conversation.

Repeatedly i've wanted to tell them that they dont have to be involved in everything, and that they dont have to always be talking or generating noise. That when other people are talking, they need to either contribute constructively to the conversation, wait their turn, or at the very least stop and apologize when they interrupt someone instead of talking right over them for minutes at a time. And that its not our responsibility to help them when they are low on money, that maybe they shouldnt have gotten a cat if they werent able to financially support it, and also that it shouldnt be our (me, A and B)'s job to walk on egg shells bc they have emotional outbursts over incredibly minor things (they do take mood stabilizers and have a disorder that effects their mood, but that doesnt mean its ok that they will sometimes seem really angry and aggressive out of absolutely nowhere, yelling swears with no provocation).

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

[ultra-raging-ghost]

cinematic time

march 1st, 2023, the contractor is flying around 2b2t

same scene from last time, confronting that fucking guy, talking abt how this place is every man for himself, telling the contractor to fuck off and fighting it

oh god this fucker pulled a "be not afraid"

it says a regular human would have went mad in this toxic wasteland, one of the worst its seen

"i detected the remnants of a very powerful signal in this area"

"sounds like bullshit to me" LMAO

its name is Madagio, it used to live on one of several connected islands

it is travelling across worlds to search for true survivalists

it gave him a location to meet at ???

old and gay on 2b2t pick a struggle

THE FUCKING CATS??? THE CATS ARE FIT SPECIFIC LORE?? THEYRE FROM 2B2T?????

ouughhhhhhhhhh hes in underground ruins. hes in underground ruins in 2b2t and theres a carved, clean path. thats not normla HOLY SHIT THATS A LOT OF CATS

There he is..... theres that madagio fucker...... the cats ARE ITS EYESSSSSS THEYRE AN EXTENSION OF IT

okay he was sent to quesadilla island on a job, mada wants the secrets of the island at all costs and says there will be residents visiting soon, most tickets have been sent out but it can get him one, and when he gets there he needs to get data on not only the island but on the players, how it all connects together and report the findings to it.

itll be weird that a "wasteland nomad" is sent there, but he will need to act friendly, and he might know some people already, that he shouldnt form attachments

Mada is making plans on a separate island, that fit will have exactly 1 year to complete his mission and if he does he'll get "an early retirement" and if he fails, he'll spend the rest of his existence on 2b2t and anyone he forms an attachment to will suffer (shows ramons moustache)

if he steps thru the end portal he accepts, theres no turning back

hes gone thru the fucking portal, but we alr knew that was gonna happen

WOAH

okay he's thru the portal, in what looks to be a white room with a flashing red light and he got his ticket.

he remembers that fuckers name, but hes already formed attachments, and if mada is gathering data to use harm fit is gonna do. some things.

cAT

CAT

CAT IN HIS ROOM

We get to see mada, floating in what looks to be an also floating platform wayyyyy high in the sky, next to one of those gates in?? japanese mythology????

end cinematic

#liveblogging #qsmp

[determinate-negation]

Have you seen this article zionists are spreading around? https://archive.ph/2023.10.28-222013/https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2023/10/decolonization-narrative-dangerous-and-false/675799/

You can tell these people don’t engage with the ideas they’re supposed to disagree with. Basically Israel isn’t a settler-colonial state because it was normal for Europeans to partition states. It goes on about how leftists think Israelis are white too. My favourite part is when they list a bunch of people from migrant backgrounds (Kamala Harris included) in the UK/US and say this: no one would describe them as “settlers.” Yet Israeli families resident in Israel for a century are designated as “settler-colonists." Pretty telling that they bring up migrants as a comparison instead of, y’know, European settlers. Who are still called settlers after hundreds of years here.

i started reading this but its so long and annoying i had to stop lmao. but yeah you can tell they dont really understand what theory of settler colonialism they are trying to disprove. also the partition of india which they mention resulted in mass death and rape and displacement, it was a horrific thing resulting from british colonialism like guess what i also think that was bad. i also think the united states shouldnt exist. the only real reason that american settlers stand out less sharply than israeli settlers as settlers in terms of military violence and active conflict with indigenous society and stuff is because the united states has had much longer to kill the indigenous population and build its parasitic settler society. the stage of settler colonialism we are trying to prevent. youll also notice theres not a single mention of the economic aspects of settler colonialism. pure ideology

[goldentlme]

i’m searching for you in my fading memories .

alternate versions .

whooh . WHOOH !!!!! good GOD !!!!

listen to the song linked while looking I think it really adds . look up a translation too if you want ! listen to the entire lies of p ost in fact . its fucking fantastic .

NOTES .

in april 2022 , i drew a fanmade book cover for the danganronpa x reader fic Sleep Awake . in december of 2023 i redesigned my reader for that story for the third time and thought it appropriate to redraw that old cover with their new design . and yesterday , january 13th 2024 , i finished that bitch . View the fruits of my labour .

in my last Notes section i talked about nerfing the lighting . well um . i nerfed it again . i dont know if it was fate or if i just . idk . didnt want to but i axed both original concepts - the yellow overhead light ( mostly) , and the light blue under light - and just Winged the fuck outta it . that ' mostly ' means that the light source is Still overhead but i just took the colour out to make it more neutral .

another thing i brought up were the shelves and how i wanted to add more items to them . I did it this time , but not to the extent that i really wanted to . i'd hoped for more Clutter and ultimately couldnt think of anymore than a few items . SAID ITEMS BEING !!!!

the pills . self explanatory , since they haunted the majority of cases 2 and 3 .

chess pieces . cute little reference to the chess scene ! even if the scene itself didnt feature real chess pieces , the imagery wouldnt work if i didnt use real pieces .

the letter opener . dont need to explain this one . but i Did originally plan to have it in shin's hand ( explaining why that one is balled like that , because there was originally a Thing in there ) but i couldnt figure out how to draw it and make it look Good . i only added it back when i was colouring the trinkets on the shelves and realised that i Forgot to put it back into the drawing .

the joker card in the bottom corner . also shouldnt have to explain this one .

LITTLE DETAILS I THINK YOU SHOULD LOOK AT .

THE HANDS !!!!!!!!! i decided at the very last second to make them vaguely see through . and theyre all a persons ! amami and shinguji are the obvious ones , but the two holding at the top are supposed to be ouma ( on the scarf ) and akamatsu ( on the rope ) . i would have included tojo's as well but i couldnt fit it in the composition without it looking awkward and out of place and i thought there were already enough references to case 3 as is .

and you literally cant even see it but if you look REALLY closely at oumas hand . his skin is a little grey and you can see the veins through the skin . wonder what happened there . Guess we'll never know !

THE BOOKS !! did the same thing as last time with a Little More . purple books are ouma , green are both amami and tojo , blue is both kiibo and chabashira , pink is akamatsu , and red is phys themselves . i know phys's canonical colour association is olive green but consider : shin is red . look at him . hes Red . that ones for me specifically .

with that . i did all of those books by hand . i drew about 9 variations of books and copy pasted them sure but i Shaded and Coloured them all individually . youll never guess how fucking LONG that took . so yeah . no one book has the exact same shading . goodie !

THE JOKER !!! yes i know i talked about it in the previous section but i WILL talk about the card itself . because i unironically am so in love with how that drawing came out . the little guy featured there is my Lies of P oc scaramouche or scaramuccia ( i use them interchangeably ) . hes a silly jester :3 . the depiction on the card is of him in his prime , before . All Of That Happened . story-wise he's a super famous circus performer known as " The One Man Show " because all of his acts are done alone and are absolutely insane . hes very good at what he does which is Why he doesnt have a crew . and the only reason hes so good is because he't not even human , just pretending to be !

additionally , i originally planned for that joker card to be a Real Life Joker . because a little known fun fact about me is that i collect playing card decks ! but i looked and literally NONE of the ones i currently own would have fit the piece . so . yeah . i just ended up drawing darling scaramuccia . heres the full image im so chuffed

i think thats all i got for the drawing itself . i initially started this back in early december but got stuck and picked it back up a couple days ago , so its been marinating for a bit . hope we all like it ! i think its Better than the original . THE SERIOUS STUFF .

its so fucking insane to think that its been almost 2 years . not only have i truly rediscovered my love of reader insert fanfiction after so many years unable to even think about it without feeling a little sick to my stomach , but ive made so many good friends and core memories through this fic . i even got back into writing . literally never thought id write again after my 11th grade english class and my 10th grade creative writing class . and im having FUN with it . wild .

anyways , this one goes out to vee @chihirolovebot for writing one of The Fics of all time , putting up with my insane ramblings about idol these past months ( READ SWINGING RIGHT NEOWWWW ) , and for letting me help design their dnd characters . godspeed .

it goes out to nex @nexuswrites for beating better genshin character builds into me , giving great fic recommendations , creating thief of detectives quandary fame . READ DQ ( THREAT ) !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! , and being a fellow p5 and pokemon lover . i miss the coordinator and justice

and of COURSE !!!! rei @berry-creates . the gay the myth the legend . a fellow oc haver and lover , a fantastic writer , and an overall lovely person . this one goes out to u for sharing oc playlists , playing splatoon with me , and for creating maddie . theyre a little freak and i want to study them . i love seeing u go insane over them its like enrichment for me bc i too am also a little mentally ill about them im just really good at hiding it .

theres a whole lot more i could say and more people i could talk about but this is long enough , isnt it ?

thanks for a beautiful 2 years of physouma yaoi . heres to the upcoming sleep awake case 6 , epilogue , all the future additions to the one shot book , the entire rest of dq , tfp , and sams , and more blorbos to put in the smoothie maker . this took a whole two hours to write .

cheers , boys .

song of the post .

#my art #my words #sleep awake #hen shin #danganronpa

[heartbeatkaleidoscope-new]

This shouldnt even have to be said and i know the breakup is old news by now but can someone explain to me while y'all act like EVERY person she is with is somehow The One and then when the relationship ends y'all hate their guts?? Joever, like ??? Taylor and Joe seemingly had something really beautiful together, she said so many times and literally made two whole records about that fact. That it ran its course and that she felt some sorta way about it near the end doesn't mean it's all suddenly shit in retrospect. I swear y'all will hate on literally anyone she's been with as soon as they become her ex, it's bizarre. I can see that kind of parasocial shit making sense back in the day bc y'all were like 15 and Taylor was like a big sister to you or whatever but its 2023 and we're all adults now. Homegirl is seven years away from 40, she's FINE and she does not need us thinking ANYTHING about her love life. Everyone fucking relax and go outside, Jesus Christ.

#1989 taylor's version #taylorswift #taylurking #the eras tour #taylor swift #ts1989

[pixiecaps]

hello question from someone who doesn’t watch award shows what are the eslands? why does everyone hate them? is it like the gaming awards but for streamers?

heads up i dont know all the fine details im not on twitter so rlly short recap

its a streamer award show run by spanish speakers in the community and streamers of that community the Issue is that the people who run it r spaniards who have downplayed and ignored a lot of what the latam streamers do when it comes to makin the rewind and shit and it feels as though certain people win that shouldnt… a certain bias towards people who may be friends with the people running the event you get the picture

quackity didnt want any involvement with the eslands this year as the guy who does the whole rewind treated the minecraft community and its fans poorly and just belittled the efforts this year of spanish speaking minecraft ccs which is wild cus ya know the qsmp was a crazy part of 2023 and to belittle it is weirdd

idk if anyone who knows more wants to add on to this. feeel freee

#pix asks aaaa