#I KNEW THEY COULDNT GO OUT LIKE THAT????

[bluejellie]

I AM SUING GRIZZLYPLAYS FOR EMOTIONAL TRAUMA.

#I HAD NO IDEA WHAT WAS GOING ON #I GOT DUPED SO HARD #BUT LIKE #I KNEW THEY COULDNT GO OUT LIKE THAT???? #IDK????? #jrwilb #jrwi riptide

[galacticlamps]

ok I have A Lot of thoughts about the staircase confession (well really about Edwin's whole character arc, but all roads lead to rome) but for now I just wanna say that, yes, I was bracing myself for something to go terribly wrong when I first watched it, and yes, part of me was initially worried its placement might be an uncharacteristically foolish choice made in the name of Drama or Pacing or Making a Compelling Episode of Television but at the expense of narrative sense--

But I wanna say that having taken all that into account, and watched it play out, and sat with it - and honestly become rather transfixed by it - I really think it's a beautifully crafted moment and truly the only way that arc could've arrived at such a satisfying conclusion.

And if I had to pinpoint why I not only buy it but also have come to really treasure it, I'd have to put it down to the fact that it genuinely is a confession, and nothing else.

That moment is an announcement of what Edwin has come to understand about himself, but because it takes the form of a character admitting romantic feelings for such a close friend, I think it can be very easy, when writing that kind of thing, to imbue it with other elements like a plea or a request or even the start of a new relationship that, intentionally or not, would change the shape of the moment and can quickly overshadow what a huge deal the telling is all on its own. But that's not the case here. Since it is only a confession, unaccompanied by anything else, and since we see afterward how it was enough, evidently, to fix the strangeness that had grown between him & Charles, we're forced to understand that it was never Edwin's feelings that were actually making things difficult for him - it was not being able to tell Charles about them. 'Terrified' as he's been of this, Edwin learns that his feelings don't need to either disappear completely or be totally reciprocated in order for him to be able to return to the peace, stability, and security of the relationship with which he defines his existence - and the scale of that relief a) tells us a hell of a lot about Edwin as a character and b) totally justifies the way his declaration just bursts out of him at what would otherwise be such a poorly chosen moment, in my opinion.

Whether or not they are or ever could be reciprocated, Edwin's feelings are definitively proven not to be the problem here - only his potential choice to bottle it up - his repression - is. And where that repression had once been mainly involuntary, a product of what he'd been through, now that he's got this new awareness of himself, if he still fails to admit what he's found either to himself or to the one person he's so unambiguously close with, then that repression will be by his own choice and actions.

And he won't do that. Among other things, he's coming into this scene having just (unknowingly) absolved the soul of his own school bully and accidental killer by pointing out a fact that is every bit as central to his self-discovery as anything about his sexuality or his attraction to Charles is: the idea that "If you punish yourself, everywhere becomes Hell"

So narratively speaking, of course it makes sense that Edwin literally cannot get out of Hell until he stops punishing himself - and right now, the thing that's torturing him is something he has control over. It's not who he is or what he feels, but what he chooses to do with those feelings that's hurting him, and he's even already made the conscious choice to tell Charles about them, he was just interrupted. But now that they're back together and he's literally in the middle of an attempt to escape Hell, there is absolutely no way he can so much as stop for breath without telling Charles the truth. Even the stopping for breath is so loaded - because they're ghosts, they don't need to breathe, but also they're in Hell, so the one thing they can feel is pain, however nonsensical. And Edwin certainly is in pain. But whether he knows what he's about to do or not when he says he 'just needs a tick,' a breather is absolutely not what's gonna give him enough relief to keep climbing - it's fixing that other hurt, though, that will.

Like everything else in that scene, there's a lot of layers to him promising Charles "You don't have to feel the same way, I just needed you to know" - but I don't think that means it isn't also true on a surface level. It's the act of telling Charles that matters so much more than whatever follows it, and while that might have gone unnoticed if anything else major had happened in the same conversation, now we're forced to acknowledge its staggering and singular importance for what it is. The moment is well-earned and properly built up to, but until we see it happen in all its wonderful simplicity, and we see the aftermath (or lack thereof, even), we couldn't properly anticipate how much of a weight off Edwin's shoulders merely getting to share the truth with Charles was going to be, why he couldn't wait for a better, safer opportunity before giving in to that desire, or how badly he needed to say it and nothing else - and I really, really love the weight that act of just being honest, seen, and known is given in their story/relationship.

#dead boy detectives #edwin payne #the case of the very long stairway #im sorry this really IS the short version of my thoughts i swear #i didnt want to get long and rambley backing everything up and mentioning everything else this forces me to reconsider #i just feel like i've barely interacted w this fandom and still seen quite a few odd duck takes on this moment imo #i dont think he wouldntve got the nerve to say it otherwise #(he was already going to! & if anything his new experiences in hell only cement that being the right choice) #and as much as i get what fear can do to a person i still definitely dont think he was resigned to staying in hell if charles reacted badly #i truly think he just couldnt keep it to himself any longer #the show is upfront about his escaping hell being a testament to his own strength rather than a lucky break of some sort #so i think even being on the receiving end of a rescue mission getting out still must take a lot of strength in this universe #and telling charles that definitely made him stronger/in less pain #so yeah totally necessary it happened where and when it did in my book #also i hope it doesnt sound like im being dismissive of anything charles says in this scene #but the way i see it those were all things they both already knew #so reaffirming them just adds to the idea that the act of Telling Each Other Things is what's so important here #rather than counting as a truly separate thing this conversation achieves #just my two cents

[puppyeared]

I'd kill for Asriel. Your Asriel art made me cry. Thx /pos

thankyu ^_^ heres a drawing of him drawn in 2013 style deviantart

#with the red outlines and yellow overlay lol #i was going to answer this like a normal person but once it popped into my head i poured 4 hours into it #actually yea what was with the red lineart with 2013-2015 art.. it was popular for like a brief period of time and then it wasnt #was it the b/illdip art that made it popular... i have to wonder where it came from bc it stands out in my mind #this was actually really fun to make i can see why ppl liked this art style a lot.. i used a multiply blend mode on my brush and #used a soft airbrush for coloring and ough.... the 2015 undertale fans knew what was up #my art #myart #doodles #ask #answered #asriel #undertale #utdr #i drew this while listening to electric angel and i felt like my mind was slammed back into 2015 for a solid 3 minutes #hes eating a whopper bc i couldnt think of anything else

[kingpains]

got to see the @narcissistcookbook in dallas, thoroughly enjoyed it

#i draw #the narcissist cookbook #really fun show Overall!! #like the ideal narcissist cookbook setlist. a bunch of my favs. so cool #i really wanted to figure out how to get a lyric quote to look alright with this composition and i COULDNT do it #it woulve been 'as the heavens beneath us convulse and contract to be near us' if i couldve made it work. fav lyric #side note on the piece: i didnt MEAN to make it the pansexual flag. i do this a lot. pink yellow and blue just look so good together whoops #i am not pan just a real big fan of their flag Apparently #inspired by 2 album covers! eden disorder and conditional love #i wouldve made a physical piece or doodle to give @ the merch table but i only knew i was GOING to the show about 24 hours before it #i was the guy who got to come because my friend broke up with his gf lol. got slid into the schedule very last minute #this is the first concert ive actually gotten to say hi to the band(s) at! really glad i got to come! not glad about WHY but yknow #silver linings

[crystalpallette]

get you a girl who can give you everything

this started a long long time ago when I made a joke about how sega should put ringo in more dresses, and then my friend reminded me that oh yeah!! I can do that instead!!! and then one thing led to another and we joked about punk ringo and I drew that too. using ringo like a dressup doll is so cathartic it's kinda crazy

some bonuses (original designs, timelapse) under the cut bc I like these designs!! I might do some more with them!! please disregard the band poster in the first second of the timelapse that's something else!!!

#everyone look at my girl isnt she so pretty #puyo puyo #ringo ando #my stuff #please look at the timelapse it nicely packages a week of suffering into a minute :) #you cant tell at all from the recording. but all those teeny tiny scallops on ringo's dress? i drew all of those by hand #because the scallop brush i downloaded didnt look right. it never does why do i have that #plus the lace cutouts on the bottom i also drew by hand because i wanted them to look kinda like bunches of apple seeds #but thats not really a thing you can search for- 'lace brush that looks like apple seeds' is wildly specific #there's probably an identical brush to what i painstakingly drew by hand but dont tell me about it i want to think i did that for a reason #punk ringo on top was a lot less work on the lineart bit except for that godforsaken guitar #i had to make sure it looked right and it took forever #but what punk ringo gave me the most trouble with was posing #i knew i wanted an arm out to mirror lolita ringo but thw initial draft was meant to be her holding the guitar the opposite way she is now #(as in her hand was gonna be backwards) #and do you know how hard it is to balance a guitar like that. i had to grab my guitar and do a photoshoot to see what was most natural #while still having leg up arm out #this was fun to do even if i had about three crises in the middle of it #i tried doing my old rendering style again after a while and it was fun too #lolita ringo gave me a bit of trouble in the fact that my brain couldnt handle the dress being shaded but the apples being flat #but we got it lmao. i dont know if ill ever do this again it took too long #but maybe half of the time was because suddenly halfway through everybody needed my help for something or other that required me to leave #anyway wow thats enough rambling. i should go to bed now

[dapperrokyuu]

Needing a Sua perspective from the ALNST auditions to Round 1. I never put much thought into what happens to the cast post-Anakt Garden graduation (do they immediately go to the auditions? Is there a period of time where they dont see each other until they recognize each other at the audition? Theres a considerable amount of time between the auditions and their Alien Stage season, did they see each other often between then or...? etc.), but regardless, imagine being her and having to choose between sabotaging your own audition so you dont have to go the the Sing, Win, or Die Show or putting your in your all in hopes of winning and spending just a bit more time with this girl you love because you know itll likely be the last time you see her. Imagine...

#dee p thoughts #alien stage #alnst #vivinos #like. not as if life wouldve been sunshine and rainbows if sua failed the audition and never went on alien stage hashtag Im a Pet to Aliens #but like. sua was definitely more in the know. Im not the type to believe mizi was completely naive but I think mizi may have bought into #the idea that dying Wasnt That Bad due to what she was taught and her trust in her owners...until round 1- maybe mizi was confident she'd #truly win and/or her owners praised and made her feel so. sua: ''My dream is Mizi's dream. (paraphrased)'' etc etc #maybe it was the dream of mizi's owners that mizi wanted to fulfill or mizi just wanted to impress her owners in return for their care... #but sua knew. she knew it would either be she never sees mizi again whether she dies or achieve such fame that sua could never reach her... #or sua can spend a little time with her. whatever they have left. whether it was her or mizi the likelihood of them ever seeing each other #again... because mizi is intent on this. she is going to join alien stage. she is going to pass the auditions because she is so dazzling. #...I need to be with her. #I think considering the ivan and sua comic anakt garden may be a pipeline to alien stage? its functionally a music school iirc so I think i #at least gives them a leg up and humans are put into anakt garden with at least some intention of having them try out for alien stage- #but nonetheless I imagine there was a liminal space where none of the cast really knew where their lives were going post-anakt garden. #not that they have much choice in the matter but still dalkjdalkbn- that liminal space mustve been a dark time for majority of them #because well. their owners. and they couldnt meet each other and may never meet again... #regarding the time between the auditions and their alien stage season I imagine its funnily a lot of. training. pr vocals visuals... #they have autographs despite them all potentially dying quickly they had them draft and practice and perfect autographs guys adjlkbnadlfkjf #the look mizi and sua shared in sweet dream when they both passed the auditions together...AUGH.....

[rickybaby]

Nobody understands Daniel Ricciardo Like Red Bull do

#the way it took only one race for daniel to show he was never the problem at mclaren #nobody understands daniel like redbull do #its such a simple statement but soooo - #when you think about christian horner saying this is not the daniel we knew. the drives he had with us #like he couldnt understand who that Daniel was. couldn't understand how he could end up where he was with mclaren #i just cant imagine how draining those two years at mclaren was for him having to change the basic core of himself as a driver and #having to go against his won instincts and the first race back? AT giving him that trust and confidence in himself by listening to him #and for the people constantly saying why redbull is giving a second chance to a driver who's apparently finished - #he doesnt have to prove himself to them. they know what he can do. they know how to get that performance out of him #daniel ricciardo

[lilyvines]

thinking about orion at the end of the last graduate. we can guess what was going on his head (the realization of what he is, the knowledge that he can't let himself be out in the world, the moment where he tells el he loves her) but do you think he took a second to feel sad? do you think, that in the middle of everything, he took a moment to mourn the future he wanted where he made the world better with el? did he spare a moment to long for what could've been?

#orion lake #the scholomance #its just like. el says she didnt need more to lose. i wonder if he was thinking about that. about how much he was giving up #and of course he gave it up anyway. he knew he couldnt be allowed to be out in the world he knew he would bring ruin in the end #he's spent his entire life giving and it never really mattered to him because he didn't really care about what he was giving up #but this time he was giving up a dream a wonderful future a life well fulfilled #do you think he let himself feel the pain of having to let it go

[kafkaguy]

character wrapped 2023 💥

tagged by @davidtennantpussytulpa ^-^ i didn't know how many to do so i copied tara and did top 10. i know the severance guys are Four Of Them but i can't separate them theyre all equally important to me

will graham (hannibal), em haywood (nope), aziraphale (good omens), mark & dylan & helly & irving (severance), hawkeye pierce (mash), martha jones (doctor who), ivan karamazov (the brothers karamazov), kim kitsuragi (disco elysium), stewy hosseini (succession), ruescott melshi (andor/rogue one)

i will tag... @fagician @britomart @libraryfag @roadwhores @majorbaby @globuspolski @hadleyfraserfaggot @tenderscience if u want to ^-^

#and now i will explain them all in detail #cos i started watching hannibal back in like. january or february and will immediately set up camp in my head and started to settle there #*I* pay rent to *HIM*. he lives there permanently. sweating and monologuing constantly #em was not only the character of 2022 but also of 2023 and of 2024 and the rest of the decade and all decades to come #she had such an impact on me keke palmer's performance will live with me forever and i love nope so fucking much #i almost didnt include her because nope was more of a last year obsession. but she lives on #aziraphale.........no comment #severance.......i love them all so much and at first i wanted just irving and then just helly and then i realise i cried over mark this week #and then i realised i couldnt possibly leave out dylan when hes probably my favourite character. so then i settled for all of them #hawkeye is my fucking wife. enough said #martha... well i knew i had to have a doctor who character. i thought maybe the doctor but then i thought their companions mean more to me #sometimes at least. i did have a fourteen icon for a while but then i was like but Donna..... and then i thought. well #these past few months at least martha jones has been eating away at my heart. i go batshit insane when i think about her #her impact. her grace. her power. so she had to go on the list.it was a toss up between her and donna for sure though #then i figured i had to include a karamazov since reading that book took up half of my year. and ivan was my favourite of the 3. so <3 #kim goes without saying. literally nothing to be said hes the character Of All Time. to me #stewy also goes without saying ive had so many Stewy Save Me moments since the beginning of season 4 all the way to the end of the year #i miss him every day. he is the moment. i wish there was more of him all the time #and the last one is a bit of a wildcard cos all my insanity abt melshi has been on my andor sideblog. #but rest assured ive been thoroughly Not Normal about him. he literally side appears in 4 episodes and has 11 total minutes onscreen #but i love him. so much. and hes occupied most of my thoughts since september. once again his impact his power his grace. his homosexuality #enough said. that's all. thanks for reading. this was a great year for autism and madness #tag game #🍪

[famewolf]

just realized I could literally email an old hotel I used to stay at that had the most insane jam in the world and see if they knew the farmer that made it ....

#[static] #it's a long shot but if i could get my hands on that jam again?????????? #i think it was strawberry and rhubarb ...... and it was mind blowing #i would literally pick trips if i knew id get layovers in bend so i could have the jam #and it was made locally so i couldnt just go out and buy it #but like ... what if they knew the farmer still ? and maybe i could get his info and beg him to send me some for $$$ #his jam was life changing and i'll literally never forget it #my mouth waters when i think about it ... it was divine ... made by the heavens and glowing in holy light etc etc etc #ive just been in a jam and toast mood recently ... let me know of ur favorite jam brands/flavors lmao no seriously pls

[kavehater]

AAAH I have a mutual who’s 18 and he sorta kinda is flirting with this one guy who is a minor as a joke of course ( to which a concerned anon said that it’s weird ) but I can’t help but flashback to er*s

#granted the er*s situation was thoroughly complex and the reason she did those things was her copism with not being able to pull ( LLLLLLL ) #and ik that guy doesn’t mean any harm etc etc he’s not messed up like some ppl #BUT I DUNNO STILL #sobbing #they’re pretty sweet so #hes* #OH AND HES IRAQI TOO I LEGIT COULDNT BELIEVE THAT #dora daily #lowkey kinda sorta sad that a whole anon was more concerned than ppl i knew and who knew my age #and freely saw it happen so readily #and everyone else on that blog #genuinely and utterly disappointed #it’s always protect minors until the minors need protecting goddamn #this is especially directed at rhy yeah I’m not censoring that #🤷‍♀️ #too busy simping over minor characters who don’t have a time skip in canon and aging them up then complaining about it when ppl call out #the brain deadery of that behaviour #girl pls #you did not care about minors from the beginning literally bye #e[redacted] literally ruined my brain chemistry to say the least I will never go into how what she did absolutely muddled my brain never #told anyone and I don’t think I can ever tell someone ever #not to mention practically hyperventilating being unable to breath literally going into madness and ppl think that I’m overreacting and #telling me to shut up about it and blaming me for the situation as if I wanted any of this #lmaolmaolmao #all that and I was expected to do uni girl byeeee I need a good century to recover at least ☠️ #the only thing I DID want is friends but clearly that was a hard ask when ppl can get friends just by existing on this god forsaken app #atp I don’t even know what to say literally just wth #yall say mdni with your dumbass banners and decorate it like something special when yall are the ones to keep from minors you disgusting #wastes of clean oxygen 😭 mdni my foot gross ass adults should’ve never trusted them #the way I’d give them therapy to their complex traumas ☠️ imagine relying on a minor for therapy

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#its so weird. i feel like march 5th went on for more than a day somehow. i guess that's just bc we were awake for just abt all of it #my dad wanted to start doing things immediately so he was calling and scheduling all day. we went to the funeral home we went to the store #and it was weird bc as we were moving around it was like wow we r a 4 person family now. this is it. and theres so much to do after a person #dies. or at least there is when they were loved so much and jesus christ my mom was one of the best ppl a LOT of ppl knew. she did so much #for so so many ppl. and with her childhood she had every reason to b a fuck up but no she was kind and selfless and amazing. her mother is #trying to bask in the attention of her death when its like: truely go fuck urself. her being such a good person has nothing to do with u. u #treated her appallingly. fuck off. and fucking everyone knows it. god. she is a product of her grandparents kindness. and it sounds like her #dad was amazing like her. but he tragically died in a car wreck when she was 3. she was in the car. no one in my mums family believes in a #god now. too many bad things happened to the shining gems in a collection of wild alcoholics. but its not all bad. my family's staying close #my dad is taking it hard bc this means hes alone now and my mum took care of so many things bc she was so smart and he feels so dumb. he #feels he didnt deserve her. hes working on giving more hugs now. and hes using us to anxiously talk things out the way he did with mom #which is good. i cant imagine if this happened when we werent 3 adults and he was windowed with 3 kids to raise himself. and its funny. were #saying things we never would have told her. we looked thru pictures of her and she was so so beautiful. a total smoke show. my parents were #a cute couple who produced cute kids. and my mom had trouble communicating and being affectionate tho we knew she loved us there was #distance. theres a pic of my dad pulling her close and shes being tippef towarf her while standing away and thats indicitive of their #relationship. they were 2 partners who lived together independently and that worked but its sad bc my mum couldnt b vulnerable in her #expression. ppl r being so kind tho. ill be in ohio now for like 2.5 more weeks as the funeral stuff shakes out. we have to have 2 bc she #grew up away from her and so many ppl loved her in both locations. she was a popular lady. its so weird to b here on pause. but i feel clear #in my head. i think this will change a lot of my outlook on life. its nice to focus on the person she was and not the horrible 12hrs where i #saw her half dead. i cant imagine how awful it was for my sisters and dad to see her downslide into death. she didnt expect this to b The #Fever that killed her but it did and now she'll never finish a million things. and the house is full of pill bottles and all her junk and #unopened amazon packages and a truck with the fuel left on empty. bc she was an absent minded goofball. ay. well miss her so much #unrelated

[m00ngbin]

I need my hair to dry so I can go to bed and not wake up with one half looking like i ran a flat iron over it 400 times on max heat and the other side being curly in ways that shouldn't be possible

#please im so tired i just want to sleep #i ran out of beads i have to go to the store tomorrow #i ransacked my room again looking for the miscellaneous bead bag and i still couldnt find it #rip miscellaneous bead bag #ykw i wish? i wish that in greys anatomy Addison and Meredith became bffs and dumped shepard together #they deserve so much better than him he clearly doesnt respect them as people and oh my god #hes so fucking full of himself #he'd fuck his own clone istg #ok but like lets be honest i think a lot of people would do that #not me though im like the biggest fearer of clones #idk just the idea of clones freaks me out do bad if i ever met my clone id kill her #and they'd probs try to kill me too but yk #i have to prove im the better of the two of us #so id win out of pure desperation #probably #but yeah hed fuck himself if he could #all day #christina was so real for “hes not the sun” #SHE KNEW WHAT WAS UP #AND THEN HIM TRYING TO SAY THAT HIS JOB WAS MORE IMPORTANT THAN MEREDITHS AND THAT SHE SHOULD JUST UPROOT HER ENTIRE LIFE AND LEAVE HER JOB #JUST FOR HIS #GO FUCK YOURSELF FOR THAT ACTUALLY DEREK #YOU ARE NOT THE CENTER OF THE FUCKING UNIVERSE

[ouchhq]

>:(

#i need to vent a little im sorry pls ignore this if u are bothered by my thoughts #SH tw !!!!!! #this morning i was supposed to have my weekly therapy session but i had to cancel bc my mom got covid and obviously stayed home from work #and i do online therapy and i didnt feel comfortable doing it with my mom around but i really needed to do it tbh #and then my professor replied to my email with all of the things ive been working on since august and didnt say anything about the material #he just asked to call me on the phone tomorrow and i started to spiral…. like Spiral with a capital s #even now thinking about it my stomach sinks bc i have this feeling that his feedback is going to be negative and i just know my #barely existent self esteem is going to break and idk what im gonna do with myself then #this afternoon while i was spiraling all i wanted to do was /hurt/ myself. i kept thinking that i wasnt good enough and i had done a #horrible job.. so bad that he couldnt even tell me by email but needed to do it on the phone and i felt like throwing up and i couldnt get #/​that/ thought out of my head and i could only cry #and all of this not even actually knowing what my professors feed back is going to be because this is just all in my head #but i was talking to my school friends and they were like oh its gonna be fine even if he doesnt like it u can still put the project in ur #portfolio hes not even our professor anymore and so on #and i kept saying that i knew that but i just could not handle that sort of feedback and rejection mentally #i was telling them that i knew i would crumble if i got real negative feedback and i was terrified of that and they just couldnt get it and #idk it made me feel really lonely #im a bit calmer now but i feel so depressed #i am really anticipating something that will hurt really bad

[skeletalheartattack]

"BLJ" actually stands for Biden Long Jump <isnt sure if youre aware of mario 64 speedrunning technique backwards long jump

and if joe biden was put into half life 2 he'd do an "ABH", as in: Accelerated Biden Hop

#ask #catboygirljoker #oh of coarse i know the mario speedrun tech #i was doing that shit when i was like 6 #i cant remember how we learned it but id have to imagine either before or after learning about gamewinners dot com #we used that site for like. everything. especially when we were trying to find blue coins in mario sunshine #speaking of mario. im reminded recently of something didyouknowgaming brought up in a mario 64 video #specifically that the 1-up hidden in whomps fortress's tower behind the breakable wall #and they were like ''oh this was found recently'' (as of the posting of that video) but me and my family knew about it when i was a kid #i couldnt tell you how we knew but. i remember breaking open the wall as a kid through my foggy memory #also as for hl2. recently been doing another run on my new computer. #specifically another gravity gun only run. this time on hard mode just to make sure its possible for me to humanly do #which. i got past the part i thought wouldve been an insane roadblock for me to get past #i have a lot of fun doing the challenge. this is like my 3rd or 4th time doing it. #granted the first few times i did it. it was more me trying to figure out the least ammount of weapons to finish the game. #which my goals with the first few times was like... me just playing through relatively normally without too much speedrun tech #which mainly avoided doing prop jumping. only because i thought it wouldve been much harder than it truely is. #i am a little sad that if i do happen to stream my go-through of the run that it may not be as magical to watch with me knowing what to do #i dont know if id feel confident in streaming at any point in the future. im hugely self conscious #but anyway thank you for your biden tech!!! :)

[glitteronadumpsterfire]

When will people that barely know me stop assuming things about me.

#witchy.txt #you are young and have nothing wrong with you!¡!!!¡ #fuck right off i have several things that are wrong with me #i cant go somewhere without having my heart racing for fucks sake #i am extremely paranoid when i have to go somewhere i dont know #i had a breakdown not too long ago bc the same coworker suggested me to find a job in the weekend #among other things #and thing is i would go there if it wasnt organized by the church. hell i would #but if it is something that revolves around having to go to mass and pray every other hour i want nothing to do w that #and they spent the last 20 minutes guilt tripping me into going to this stupid summer camp. right as i walked in to work #i fucking hate catholics i hate them so much #i am not what you think. and if you knew you would kick me out of here #every day it's a struggle to keep my mouth shut #she told me at some point that 'i dont have to have anxiety' #and i told her that it's like telling someone w a broken leg to walk it off #i straight up told her that bc i couldnt take it anymore of her bullshit #but she wouldnt stop. she didnt pick up the signals at all #i should be at the club having nasty transgender sex not in a church summer camp!!! fuck off!!! #UGH #st cheerleader gerard help me