Let's say, hypothetically, that there existed a period of time in which you expressed positive affinity towards me. Suppose that this affinity is very great and therefore implies a great deal of trust. But I am undeserving of this trust and henceforth will reveal to you pertinent information I have been withholding.
Let's say I have taken actions that are morally questionable and even reprehensible. You may conclude that I am a terrible, awful man, would you not? Suppose that my foul exploits have caught me in a situation from which extricating myself is exceedingly difficult or impossible. Indeed, this is the case. Say I reveal to you this truth, that I have been unfaithful to you, and that I have given the role of your relationship with me to another individual whom you lacked knowledge of prior to the current moment. And, rather than express remorse regarding this betrayal of your trust, hypothetically, I express enthusiasm upon revealing this information to you. Impatience, even.
And henceforth, I implore you to enlighten me on the extent of your affinity toward me once you have received and internalized this information regarding our relationship status and this breach of your trust resulting from my actions. That is:
How do you like me now?
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The Heavy - How You Like Me Now? (Official Video)
Does that make you love me baby? / Does that make you want me baby? / Does that make you love me baby? / Does that make you want me baby?
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people when trauma victims act traumatized especially in a way that is unpalatable to them because it involves lashing out and unpredictable moods and having boundary issues rather than just being demure, sad, and consumable
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Gentle reminder that very little fandom labor is automated, because I think people forget that a lot.
That blog with a tagging system you love? A person curates those tags by hand.
That rec blog with a great organization scheme and pretty graphics? Someone designed and implemented that organization scheme and made those graphics.
That network that posts a cool variety of stuff? People track down all that variety and queue it by hand, and other people made all the individual pieces.
That post with umpteen links to helpful resources, and information about them? Someone gathered those links, researched the sources, wrote up the information about them.
That graphic about fandom statistics? Someone compiled those statistics, analyzed them, organized them, figured out a useful way to convey the information to others, and made the post.
That event that you think looks neat? Someone wrote the rules, created the blogs and Discords, designed the graphics, did their best to promo the event so it'd succeed.
None of this was done automatically. None of it just appears whole out of the internet ether.
I think everyone realizes that fic writing and fanart creation are work, and at least some folks have got it through their heads that gif creation and graphics and moodboards take effort, and meta is usually respected for the effort that goes into it, at least as far as I've seen, but I feel like a lot of people don't really get how much labor goes into curation, too.
If people are creating resources, curating content, organizing the creations of others, gathering information, and doing other fandom activities that aren't necessarily the direct action of creation, they're doing a lot of fandom labor, and it's often largely unrecognized.
Celebrate fan work!
To folks doing this kind of labor: I see you, and I thank you. You are the backbones of our fandoms and I love you.
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He'd been flying above Metropolis.
Like a good ghost! Doing nothing but relax! Enjoying the weather, really.
It was so cool, Superman came up to him, they talked even! Superman was very, very, uncomfortable when Danny mentioned he was kinda dead.
It was really awesome.
Yeah, the keypoint being was.
Now? Now he is in Superman's arms, very much alive after being hit by a stray beam from Lex Luthors newest invention, quite literally hit from the sky when he didn't expect it and out of f reflex turned back human.
"I'm... alive?" He jokes weakly, smiling awkwardly at Superman's stare.
Danny considered this awkward.
Clark was processing the fact Lex Luthor somehow managed to bring back someone from death, his hands now full of said miracle and—
Shit, does the kid even have family left? What's he going to tell Lois!?
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I know WFA is too OOC for some people, but I need that shit right now.
I do love seeing the Batfam beating the shit out of each other. I like how messy their relationships are and I have always loved flawed characters.
But idk, man, Batman #138 just really crossed a line for me and I need a reminder that there are other depictions of Bruce that aren't so fucking heinous.
I'll take this shit:
Over this shit:
Any. Fucking. Day.
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Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
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