If Ghosts had a more mature rating and was able to do more creepy ghost powers/death side effects:
Pat, Humphrey, and Thomas are eternally bleeding. Their clothes are wet, their hand gets wet from touching it, they'll leave trails of blood down the hall, etc. The blood on their hand or the floor disappears pretty quickly as their ghost powers make them reset but their clothes are always soaked
Thomas's whole stomach and the top of his pants are bloodstained. Pat's is all located on his shoulders/necktie and has the most obvious stains due to the color difference of his clothes. There are a few drops here and there down his sleeves and chest. It's pretty heavy because of the major arteries the neck that would've been punctured. Humphrey's is by fair the heaviest and is all over the front of his torso. Like the whole thing. When he died he fell face down into the growing puddle of blood that would've been pooling from his stump
Fanny can turn her head frighteningly far. There's a sick crunching sound that happens when she does this and it always sends shivers down Alison's spine even after years of hearing it. The other ghosts have joked and compared Fanny to an owl because of this and she chews them out every time
Pat coughs a lot because he's got blood stuck in his throat. He'll randomly have a huge coughing fit, cough a bunch of blood into his hand and then go "Oh no. Anyways..." He also has trouble breathing and has to take breaks to sit down during physical activities like dancing or running. It annoying but not too much of a hindrance to his daily life; it's like having asthma or allergies. The blood can make his voice sound a little weird sometimes too, like he's gurgling smth while he talks. He just clears his throat and keeps going
The plague ghosts vomit up bile every once in a while. It's black, steaming, and putrid but disappears almost instantly
Kitty also throws up when she's excited... which is a lot. She also gets chills, lightheadedness, fevers, and uncontrollable shaking. There's not much the other ghosts or Alison can do to help her besides sitting with her/trying to distract her. She'll lay down and try to breathe through it while Alison reads her a story or the Captain infodumps abt smth or Robin holds her hand. Sometimes she falls asleep, sometimes she doesn't. She's always better after a few hours tho
Fanny gets really bad migraines. Alison's theory is that they're caused by her broken vertebra. Fanny doesn't particularly care why they happen. When they happen, she's in an even worse mood than usual so it's best to steer clear of her. She doesn't have the energy to yell at ppl but will remember the slightest fault and wait until she's better to go on a lecture. Again, there's not much Alison or the other ghosts can do to help besides let her lay down and try to be quiet
Mary and Robin's skin peels off. It's white and flaky and leaves raw red spots underneath. The dead skin disappears once it leaves them but the skin underneath is never healthy and flakes off too
Both Robin and Mary smell like burning flesh but only Mary is detectable by living people. Robin only smells when he uses his powers. It really puts a lot of the ghosts off, especially newer ones
Robin's body also gets affected by his powers in other ways. If it's something small like flickering a light, his hair will stand on end. Something bigger like turning a light on/off or flickering a more powerful light will cause him to spasm. It's usually just his arms and wears off after a minute. Smth really big like redirecting that lightning bolt for Mike will be the equivalent of him actually getting hit w the lightning. His body seizes up, falls over unresponsive and twitching for several minutes, but he's always ok in the end. Alison and the other ghosts get very worried but he walks it off
Julian and the Captain both feel remnants of their heart attacks. Shortness of breath, tingling/numbness in the arms, dizziness, heart palpitations, etc. They both choose to keep it a secret from the others and cover it up but if they're particularly stressed abt smth, they'll start getting chest pains which is harder to cover up. The Captain has excused himself from many social situations to go sit on the floor and try to breathe through the pain and calm his heart. Robin's the only one who knows about Julian's because it happened once while they were hanging out. Logically, they both know they can't die again but it's still scary
Mary likes to sit in the lake because even tho she can't feel it like she would if she was alive, the cold water is soothing on her burns
All the ghosts have days where they just lay abt bc the pain is too much to move. From who does it the most to who does it the least it goes Mary, Humphrey, Pat, Fanny, Thomas, Kitty, Robin, the Captain, Julian
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THEIR TOY┊synopsis: konig and ghost make you their little toy
✧˖*°࿐ konig x ghost x fem!reader
warnings: so many things... sex.. tired..
Ghost, still masked, chuckled darkly as he watched the fear in the girl's eyes. He moved closer, his hips grinding against her ass, his bulge pressing against her sensitive flesh through his pants. "Now, now," he purred
his voice deep and commanding. "We're not like those puny men who've had the displeasure of touching you, sweetheart. We'll show you how it feels to be truly filled."
"Now," Ghost said, "we're going to take it nice and slow, showing you what it feels like to have your tight little pussy stretched to accommodate our size." Ghost slid one of his hands down to your crotch, gently teasing your sensitive clit.
Ghost's fingers found their way inside your soaked pussy, exploring your tight walls. He growled in delight as he felt you clench around his fingers. "You're so tight," he purred, "I can already tell this is gonna be a real treat."
As König moved behind you, his thick cock slid easily against your wet folds. He chuckled darkly, his hips grinding against your ass cheeks. "You're so ready for us," he whispered huskily into your ear. "
Meanwhile, König stepped closer, his hard cock grinding against your lower back. He chuckled darkly, "We're going to make sure you scream our names, sweetheart."
First, we're going to get you nice and wet," Ghost said, sliding his other hand down to your round ass.
As one, they began to thrust into your body, their movements synchronized. Ghost's fingers continued to probe and tease your sensitive spots within, while König's cock pistoned in and out of your tight entrance.
Both men moved in sync, their hands working together to stretch your tight pussy. Ghost's fingers thrust deeper inside you, seeking out your G-spot while his tongue teased and lapped at your sensitive folds.
The room filled with their harsh breaths and moans of pleasure. Your body was being used as their personal plaything, your cries of mixed pain and arousal fueling their lust.
"We're not going to stop until we've both taken your cherry," König growled, "together." And with that, he slid his massive cock past your resistance and into your tight pussy.
You couldn't help but moan and whimper as they took you like this. Their size stretching you and filling you up. They were relentless, their hips grinding against yours as they took their time.
König's other hand moved to grope your ass cheek, squeezing it roughly before sliding down to spread your ass cheeks apart. His thick cock pressed harder against your lower back, teasing the entrance to your ass.
"Yes, just like that," Ghost growled, "let us take turns filling you up." König's words were enough to make your pussy clench around his invading cock. As one they began to thrust harder, faster, their cocks stretching your holes to their limits.
“Princess," König called you, his voice thick with lust, "you're ours to use as we please. Isn't that right, sweetheart?" He leaned down, his hot breath fanning across your neck.
"You're so fucking tight," König groaned, "but you take it so well." Ghost echoed his praise, grunting in pleasure as he filled you up. Their pace sped up, their hips slapping against your ass and thighs.
“Fuck, I'm gonna cum," Ghost warned, his fingers tightening around your clit. You couldn't help but cry out in mixed pleasure and anticipation.
Their moans became more frenzied and loud as they both reached their climaxes. Your walls pulsed around their cocks as they both shot their hot cum deep into your awaiting bodies. You screamed out their names as they each filled you to the brim with their seed.
That's a good girl," Ghost whispered in your ear, his voice dark and filled with satisfaction. "Now clean us up," he ordered, pushing you to your knees.
Such a dirty little slut," Ghost praised, "but we love it." He leaned down and placed a kiss on your sweaty forehead. "You're ours now," he whispered in your ear.
And we're not going to let anyone else touch what's ours," König agreed, his voice low and menacing. He wrapped an arm around your chest, pulling you close. "Now, let's get some rest so we can enjoy our new toy even more tomorrow."
You opened your mouth and took one of their cum-covered cocks into your mouth, cleaning it with your tongue. Then you closed your eyes as you took the other cock into your mouth, sucking and slurping the sticky, salty fluid off of it.
You nodded weakly, too tired and sore to argue. You knew they were right; you were theirs now. They'd taken every inch of you, and marked you as their property.
That's a good girl," Ghost praised, running his fingers through your hair. "Now stand up and show us how much you enjoyed that." You rose to your feet, feeling slightly unsteady on your legs.
“Come on, sweetheart," König said, pulling you up from the floor. He wrapped an arm around your waist, holding you close. "We have plans for you."
“Walk," König commanded. You obeyed, swaying your hips as you walked towards them. "Now bend over that table," Ghost ordered, gesturing to a nearby table.
Both men looked down at you, their cocks still hard and leaking pre-cum. "You're going to feel even better this time," König warned, grabbing your hips. "Be prepared." Ghost moved behind you, positioning his hard length at your entrance.
As you reached the table, you bent over it, presenting your ass to them. "Very good," Ghost complimented, slapping your ass cheek gently. "Now spread your legs wider." You complied, feeling their hands on your inner thighs, pushing them apart.
With a single thrust, they penetrated you together, filling you up with their heat and size. You gasped, feeling them stretching you wider than ever before. They began to move together, their rhythm syncing perfectly—one pushing forward, the other pulling back.
You belong to us now," Ghost growled into your ear. "You'll never forget this night." As they continued their brutal lovemaking, you realized that you wouldn't forget it even if you tried.
Your body was pushed against the cold wall behind you, accentuating the rough, intense fucking you were receiving. Your moans echoed in the room as their hands roamed over your body, pinching nipples, slapping ass cheeks.
Their hands roamed over your body, leaving trails of goosebumps in their wake. Their cocks pistoned in and out of you, hitting against your G-spot and making you moan.
You couldn't believe how far they were moving together. Your walls clung to their cocks, milking every last drop of their cum. Just when you thought you couldn't take any more, they both orgasmed at once, filling you up with their hot liquid.
“You're ours now," Ghost whispered into your ear. "And we're going to enjoy every single inch of you." He leaned in and kissed your neck, nipping at your skin. You couldn't help but shiver with anticipation.
The room echoed with the sounds of their brutal fucking—moans, grunts, slaps against skin. The scent of sweat and lust filled the air as they took you roughly, claiming you as their own.
You were about to reply when König, suddenly picking up the pace, began slamming into you harder and faster, reaching around to grope one of your ass cheeks. The heady mix of pain and pleasure coursed through your body as they took you roughly against the wall.
As they climaxed together, pushing you both over the edge into blissful oblivion, you felt an incredible sense of connectedness with them—a unity that transcended mere physical pleasure. You moaned their names as their cum filled you up, marking you as their own forever.
That's it, baby," Ghost growled, "take it all." His cock throbbed inside you as he reached around to pinch your nipples, making you cry out in ecstasy. "You like this?"
You couldn't reply as you felt König's thrusts becoming deeper and harder. His hips slapped against yours, driving him even deeper inside. The sensation was intense; you could feel every ridge and vein on their massive cocks stretching you to your limit.
With a deep, sensual moan, you nodded, unable to form words. The sheer force with which they were fucking you made it impossible to think straight. You could feel your orgasm building rapidly, ready to explode at any moment.
Come for us," Ghost demanded. And you did. Your body shook violently as you climaxed around them, your inner walls contracting and pulsing around their cocks.
That's it," König praised, feeling you tighten around him. He pulled out first, spilling his hot seed all over your belly. Ghost followed soon after, unloading his load onto your back.
Both of them panted heavily, their chests heaving up and down. They shared a satisfied smirk, their eyes filled with lust and triumph. "Now that's what I call taking control," Ghost said, his voice thick with desire.
"Indeed," König agreed, reaching down to stroke the cum off your belly. "You're quite the responsive one, aren't you?" He leaned in, his lips brushing against your ear. "We'll have to make sure we keep you in line from now on."
As they cleaned up and straightened their uniforms, the two policemen exchanged a knowing glance. The sight of you, broken and broken beneath them, filled them with a sense of power and domination.
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What the Ghosts have been watching on TV
Everyone
Channel 4 Home renovation shows: They're free with ads and there's an infinite amount of them so Alison puts them on for the whole gang when she and Mike have work to do in same way people put on YouTube videos for their dogs. This has backfired slightly as all the ghosts now have very strong and conflicting opinions on how Button House should be renovated.
The Great British Bake-off: A whole family event, they all get very invested. Kitty thinks Alison Hammond is the funniest person in the world. The Captain feels normal about Noel Fielding. As well as a watching it live, I'm sure they've also watched the whole back catalogue together.
Mama Mia: This where the Captain learnt his ABBA songs from. Pat and Julian enjoy the nostalgic music and I think the others are just bewitched by the story and music
Robin
Anything David Attenborough: For obvious reasons. I think he'd get a kick out of trying to do his voice. The others sometimes join in.
Cunk on Earth/ Britain: I think they've got a similar attitude towards history and I think he'd find serious historians trying to answer silly questions incredibly funny
Horrible Histories: He watches this with Kitty, they both find poop jokes funny.
Humphrey
Antiques Roadshow: I'm not sure why. I honestly think he's just glad to watch anything.
Mary
Gardener's World: I think she misses being able to look after plants and I think she'd be endlessly fascinated by how hosepipes work.
Mio Mao: She loves them fucking plasticine cats. She will not stop singing the theme song
Honestly think she'll watch anything with anyone and would get invested, she seems like the ideal person to watch telly with.
Kitty
Ru Paul's Drag Race: I think they all watch this every so often but Kitty is invested. There's bright colours, fun outfits and drama, it's definitely Alison's go to when she needs Kitty distracted.
90s and 2000s romcoms: I believe that every couple of weeks Alison and Kitty have a "girl's night" where they watch all the romcoms that Alison used to watch with her mum, mostly because I love watching romcoms with my mum and Kitty deserves that. Kitty is particularly fond of Twilight.
Thomas:
Any Jane Austen adaptations: He watches them with Fanny as they were both big fans when they were alive (its the only thing they agree on). Kitty also joins sometimes. His favourite is the 1995 Pride and Prejudice tv show.
Fanny:
Grey's Anatomy: I haven't seen it but my mum's a big fan and there's millions of seasons, I think she'd pretend she's not that into it but she definitely is.
Call the Midwife: Same as above.
The Captain:
M*A*S*H: I've seen about half an episode of this but it seems to be about fit young men in a war so it sounds like his thing. Probably Pat's recommendation.
Our Flag Means Death: I think Alison has been trying to sneakily show Cap gay media under the pretence of saying "it's just a fun show about pirates". I think the whole gang watched it together. The Captain definitely didn't cry at the end of season 1 why would think that?
Pat
Taskmaster: I think this is one they all watch together but it's definitely one of Pat's favourites. He probably attempted to set up his own version of the show with the ghost which ended horribly.
Doctor Who: I think he watched the original run when he was alive and was absolutely ecstatic to find out they made more. Julian makes fun of him for it.
Julian
Have I Got News For You: Has been airing since 1990 so he definitely watched it while he was alive. I think he likes to keep up with current politics but not in a very serious way so this is his middle ground.
Succession: I haven't seen this show but it seems to be about horrible men in suits being horrible to each other which seems right up his alley.
The Thick of It: Speaking of horrible men in suits being horrible. I think he watches this with Robin who has absolutely no idea what's going on but just laughs when Julian does and they have the best time. Julian is constantly pausing to add his own anecdotes
What We Do In The Shadows: Alison put this on as a 'let's show the Captain it's ok to be gay' show and the Captain was immediately horrified so Julian adopted it. He identifies with Lazlo.
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