#Gave a few days just in case

[grabyoursaintsandpray]

How it started Vs How it's going

X-Men: The Animated Series

X-Men '97

#I realised I heard that line before #It was not fun to make that second GIF #x men the animated series #gambit #remy lebeau #X-Men #X-Men 97 #xmen 97 #x men 97 #x men spoilers #xmen #x men 97 spoilers #I've avoided posting anything spoilery til now #Gave a few days just in case

[icewindandboringhorror]

Some (late) holiday photos of the boye~!

#cats #holiday #OUGHH....... barely could even get these edited and posted... my mysterious sickness flare up has been sooo bad the past few #days.. I didn't even go to the usual obligatory family christmas I was supposed to attend (!!! health issue/medical mention in tags below) #My stomach issues basically put me in a constant state of uncontrollable shivering/body shaking + nausea + sometimes rapid heart #rate. and when it happens at night that makes it like.. nearly impossible to sleep when you're violently shaking + you can feel your heart #so strong + you keep having to run to the bathroom every 5 minute to cough and gag #and throw up and so on and so forth. etc. So I went like 40 hours without any sleep almost for christmas eve and all of christmas day #last night I finally got maybe 2 hours of sleep in between the nausea and shaking and stuff. and then today I was able to get a few #hours of sleep in the afternoon. Today I tried taking an anxiety mediciation a doctor gave me in case it was anxiety related (it's apparent #ly used to relax people and works in the moment. rather than like Anxiety Mediciation that you have to take for weeks to see any effect #because I think this isn't actually acting on your brain chemistry it's judt like..a mild sedative or something.) but all that did was make #me dizzy and sweaty lol. I;m glad I slept a little but I'm just still frustrated that I don't feel normal. I started having these #'episodes' (with the stomach issues + shaking + heartrate + nausea etc.) like at the end of october. And usually it will happen for like a #few hours at a time. or i'll lose sleep one day and then be fine the next. but this has been like nearly 3 days of feeling weird. so is #getting kind of annoying... It's funny too because I was so so productive like.. literally the few days before. I was feeling much better #and I was working on my game and blah blah. But then.. random issue flare up out of nowhere of course.. yaayy.... happy holidays to meee lo #I did at least see two random ducks outside of my window in the yard area for christmas. and havent seen them since. So it's like.. hrmm.. #pacing around my room nauseous and shakings and etc. but at least... hello.. two little ducks placed there just for me :3c #Now I get anxiety every night which I'm sure doesn't help/could exacerbate whatever underlying genuinely physical issues exist. But after #like 2 nights of 'I spend the night sleepless and incredibly uncomfortable just sitting in the dark sick' then bedtime is like.. dread... #I even was trying slapping myself in the face in desperation to see if somehow that could shock my body out of whatever the hell it was #doing lol.. up at 3am holding ice cubes in my hand and hitting myself in the head and crying from exhaustion and thowing up.. literally #ridiculous cartoon character feeling... AAANYWAY!!! At least I have baby boy pictures. and I have lots of doctors appointments so hopefully #whatever the issue is can be sorted out at some point. I don't know much about ibs but hopefully maybe something like that that I could pos #ibly take medication for and not something more seirous or anything. Maybe there's a food I'm secretly intolerant to or whatever. #And I did at least post a sims holday video actually timed for the holidays so that's something. I havent been productive really latrely #though obviously.. I can't even play games or small tasks when in that state since I'm just SO physically uncomfortable. Nausea and heart #stuff are THE hardest physical sensations to ignore.. BUT yeah... hoping I shall sleep at all tonight. hopeing to get like 3 productive #things done.. at some point... at least SOMETHING... lol..... *** *** ***

[yotd2009]

oh yeah. the reason why i decided to reread tbhk (and thus it was able to hit me like a truck this time around) was actually not bc of mitsukou going canon but actually bc i maybe accidentally started a tbhk book club w my kids at work and wanted to check the contents of it justttt in case before i put the books in their hands

#tl;dr i have this one 4th grade boy who's a total weeb and knows that i'm the only one in this town who's more into japanese media than him #so he pesters me abt it every time he sees me. and the thing abt this kid is that he gets bored easily and if he does he turns into a #complete menace. now a couple weeks ago. he shows up at the program w one piece volume one and spends the entire time he's there peacefully #reading and not causing any problems on purpose. my coworker owen (the one who climbed onto the roof) and i were shocked and in awe of how #peaceful he was being and came to the conclusion that he NEEDS to have a manga volume in his hands at all times. few minutes later. #he finishes reading and isn't bored yet so he decides to go talk to me abt manga. specifically he starts pestering me abt what shonen i've #read despite the fact that i am a shoujo reader and told him that. but he knows i've read kuroshitsuji bc he previously asked me abt what #the worst anime i've ever watched is and i will never not take an excuse to drag the adaptation. and he figures that if i've read kuro i've #probably read more. and so i mention tbhk and he asks more abt it bc of the name involving toilets and him being a 4th grade boy so i give #brief overview and he wants to read it. and i come up with a scheme to make him peaceful AND to give him something to talk to me abt which #isn't 'i know you've read more shonen manga' 'let me gacha on your phone' or 'i saw an ad for rent a gf. thought it was lame. and now want #you to tell me how it sucks bc i assume you know everything abt every animanga ever' (<does unfortunately know too much abt rent a gf bc i' #a bit of a nosy bastard and watched the mother's basement video). so i offered to bring it in bc i own physicals of the whole series and of #as previously mentioned. gave it a quick reread in advance just in case. and got hit by it. hard. i love you tbhk almost as much as i love #when ppl get into things through me. honestly i think getting to live vicariously through him might be one of the main reasons it got me #this time around and not as much the first time (still loved it the first time though). flash forward a little while. one of the 3rd grade #girls is like. really into reading. and also macabre things. like ghosts. and she has two books from the school library. and has had the #same two books from the school library for over a week. she reads quickly and finished them both in under a day and is now bored out of her #mind rereading them. she asks to read the books i've been letting the other kid read. now there are two of them #romeo.txt

[jonny-b-meowborn]

I go to this support group thingy every tuesday, I love it, the therapist there and most of the people are super sweet, but last week I had. idk. and unpleasant one, I guess. I brought up my concerns about my skin picking disorder, and while I'm not diagnosed with anything I used the word dermatillomania, because I just know the name for that disorder and I'm pretty sure that's it. and the therapist mostly just dismissed it saying that everyone sometimes feels anxious and picks their skin or nails about it. I tried explaining that it's not just that, it happens all the time and on multiple occasions I gave myself an infection from picking skin, but her main giveaway was that I need to think about what makes me stressed and try to do something about it. and then she kinda went on this small, mostly lighthearted rant about youth these days self diagnosing with everything because they hear it on tik tok or whatever. and idk, the therapist is a genuinely lovely lady, so that was weird to hear her be so dismissive about this. I definitely am going to bring my skin picking with my psychologist or psychiatrist if I don't forget tho. it's getting real bad recently and I think I need some professional help with it lmao

#for example. #a few weeks ago I gave myself an infection trying to remove some tiny blackhead because I dug in that spot so much #or a few days ago my brain decided it would be a good idea to try to remove a mole i have with tweezers #it's not infected but still i gave myself a nasty wound for literally no reason #or something that i did mention in group therapy #how a few weeks ago i stepped on a tiny piece of glass #and i did manage to dig it out but the feeling was so satisfying that for a moment i genuinely considered stepping on more glass on purpose #and the therapist was like well it's normal that it feels good when you get a foreign object out of your body #and like. yea that's true but i dont think people then feel the genuine need to walk on glass just to have more stuff to dig out #and like sorry but i don't think self diagnosing is bad #sometimes it can direct you to a specialist for a real diagnosis or just general help #like in my case #if i didn't research autism for a few years and didnt suspect i might be autistic i wouldn't go to therapy and get antidepressants #guh. sometimes therapists suck even when normally they're great #bee buzz

[daz4i]

every day on midnight there is a guy who uploads a meme about what day of the war it is (49, currently) and every day there is a guy commenting updates on like if anything changed today. at some point another guy joined by giving fun facts about the number of each day. now the second guy has gotten bored and started adding more things too like fun facts and recipes. beautiful display of what despair can bring out of people (really funny memes. and solidarity ig. and tradition?)

#a few days ago updates guy said his building was wrecked :( that's really sad #''i went to go downstairs but saw there are no stairs'' oof #tbh on the solidarity thing. so many people in the country started volunteering and in the beginning lots of business gave free service #most still do for people in the more dangerous areas. as well as giving them big discounts #(larger corporations are being gross tho making ''together we will win <3 come buy from us <3'' ads instead) #it is nice to see everyone coming together to help each other. also like the cowboys from the us coming to help with farming and such #regular citizens do and give 100x times more than any of the politicians here. wow. #(tbf that was the case before too but now it's just on such a large scale that ppl point it out constantly) #but. focusing on the nice things. displays of solidarity. wooooo. people being nice and funny. wooooooooo

[arionawrites]

1. it’s my 24th birthday today, so my goal of being published by the time i’m 25 is now a one year looming monster, but i never specified what kind of published and am currently looking in various literary magazines that are recommended for writers who have yet to be published, so i’m surprisingly confident that i can make it work? and tbh even if whatever i write isn’t officially published before my 25th birthday, if i have someone in the process of being published then i’ll be happy!! no matter what though, i’m gonna try to be proud of myself for at least giving it my best shot!!

2. i honestly love that my birthday is on the ides of march because the ides of march meme shitposting is only a thing on tumblr but it also being my birthday makes it easier to like. be excited about the ides of march outside of tumblr. like even in person i can be like “it’s my birthday! i’m an ides of march babe (:” and if someone is like oh what’s that? or if they say something along the lines of oh like julius caesar? i can be like yep!! and even if it’s a small thing outside of tumblr it brings me immense enjoyment and amusement being able to bring it up off of tumblr

3. transportation situation has been very rough since june 2023 when i totalled my car, my gap insurance are being assholes and i ended up putting my foot down on the phone with them yesterday which i’m pretty proud of because i am NOT a confrontational person (something i’ve been working on this past year, so seeing some improvement with my ability to hold my ground and not be a pushover yesterday was very cool!!) i was told i’d get a response from them by friday next week no matter what, and if i don’t then friday of next week i will continue to wreak havoc upon them. but my moms car which i’ve been using since my accident broke down yesterday, hopefully it’s fixable but my parents were saying it might be done for, so trying to think of how i’m gonna get to work next week is kind of stressing me out lmao, but for now i’m just gonna focus on enjoying my birthday the best i can because i don’t want to start off being 24 with an overwhelming anxiety for something that won’t be a potential issue until monday. plus i already messaged my boss today to let her know that i’m going to do everything i can to make it work out but just so she’s in the loop and knows of the potential of me not being able to make my morning shifts (one of my coworkers said she’s more than happy to give me a ride for our afternoon shifts which does help relieve some of the stress!) and i told her i’d let her know for sure sunday so that if necessary she can have time to figure out someone to fill in for me in the mornings!

overall: life is weird and i ended being 23 yesterday with a shitty situation but a positive outlook and i am going to enjoy my first day of being 24 no matter what because honestly i fucking earned it. happy friday everyone, i hope it’s a good day for you and me both!

#aritalks #i did cry a little bit when i first woke up because i dont really know what to do about work and also i hate not having a car i can use #not only because of the work aspect but also getting my license when i was 18 gave me a freedom i didn’t have before #and i don’t like having to rely on other people just to like go to the fucking store or something yk #but then my best friend/roommate messaged me happy birthday and i was like fuck it! today is going to be a good day! #the stressful uncertainties can wait until tomorrow #also one of my best friends who hasn’t said happy birthday to me the past two years #(not intentionally im p sure they were just busy on my birthdays the past two years #and then had that moment of ‘oh shit i didnt send a message fuck i think its too late now’ which i totally get bc anxiety things yk) #was one of the first people to message me happy birthday!! #i’m also hoping to still be able to go see my mom and then stay the night at my dads tonight #so i can see both my parents and also my baby siblings for my birthday #my dads working today but after he texted happy birthday i sent him a text asking if he thinks we could still make it work #my mom is asleep still i think (she called me at midnight and left a voicemail singing happy birthday!! but her sleep schedule has been all #over the place recently so i’m waiting until 11:30 to call her which is in like 30 mins) #but she said something yesterday about driving out to me to give me a hug and also bring me my diabetes stuff that got delivered #(her house is my mailing address because i know it’s not going to change bc it’s my great grandparents house that she’s partially inhereting #when my great grandpa dies but since i have moved out of my dads my address has changed twice and i didnt have a mailbox at my last place so #just for the sake of consistency and not having to worry about important shit getting sent to the wrong address i’ve had her house as my #mailing address since i moved out of my dads at 19) #so i think i’m gonna ask her if she can just pick me up instead so i can go to her house w her and hang out with her #and hopefully my dad will be able to at least stop by with my siblings so i can see them too #i’d like to stay the night with them but if we can’t make it happen then i can also stay the night w my mom and hopefully tomorrow figure #out the car situation. might have to rent a car for a week if i can afford it? best case scenario is my moms car can be fixed but i still #dont know whats wrong with it ik there are two potential problems and one is fixable the other is not #the fixable one would cost like $150-$400 to fix depending on if we get a used part or a new one #if its $150-$200 ish i can probably afford to pay for the whole thing or at least most of it #but if its more than that hopefully my dad or one of my family members can help #and i can just pay them back in like $50 increments with my next few paychecks #just realized i said i wouldnt worry abt the car thing today and also i think im at tag limit to i’ll stop now lmao xoxo gossip girl ❤️

[cripplecore]

am i shaking because i'm having an anxiety attack or because i haven't eaten in a while: a book by me (spoiler: the answer is probably both)

#both are side effects of my new meds :/ hopefully it'll go away soon #started focalin a few days ago & it's been very helpful for both adhd and anxiety. but i have no appetite at all and can't have caffeine #made the mistake of taking my meds with a caffeinated drink & it gave me a severe anxiety attack 😭 (crying emoji) #anxiety attacks are far from unusual for me but i hadn't had one in a few days (thanks to my meds) so it was worse than usual #tw medication #medication tw #tw medicine #medicine tw #tw anxiety #anxiety tw #tw anxiety attack #anxiety attack tw #tw disordered eating #disordered eating tw #<- just in case #actually disabled #disabled #disability #neurodivergent #actually neurodivergent #neurodiversity #neurodivergence #neuropunk #ask to tag #adhd #actually adhd

[kimjiwoong]

turns out alexis mixed up the date of his trip so it's not this weekend it's next weekend lmao so we're seeing one of our fave bands on saturday

#sddkddk #he found out today they were playing in our city #I'd known for a few days but I couldn't invite him because i knew he was busy #turns out he's not soooo 💓💓💓💓💖 #and it's bandalos chinos too so like top beloveds #im soooo excited #i was like nooo what if i cry to demasiado in front of u and he was like oh it's fine I'll just laugh at u forever #i'm rly looking forward to it #also i may or may not have expected a good night kiss today but that's on me fkdkd like we dropped me off and i sort of... #didn't leave the car? lmao #and he gave me a look and i just nervously laughed and got off nssksksk #and said bye #rose.txt #oh and by the way a few days ago he gave me a sticker that fell of his sticker thing that said good job #and now he saw i put it on my phone case and he just pointed at it and said 'oh' #i do not know what that oh meant but i did grab my phone and pretended to use it for a second so he'd stop looking at it djdjdjfjd

[dixiedingo]

Bahhh

#been feeling crummy #doesn't help my eliptical machine finally gave up #but I've been obsessing again #i hate it when I do this because I don't feel like I have any control over it #no matter how hard I distract myself I just keep thinking about the pains and stuff #this morning I couldn't stop thinking about how abandoned I feel/felt #yesterday and today i just feel ugly. unsightly. #and i wanna make friends but also i know I'm super intense with my feelings and reactions. #and i know. we just live inna day and age where people just. don't have the patience for it #it feels like if i ever complain to anyone they'll just abandon me and complain about how like #self absorbed and emotional I am #and I know this is all irrational but when it actually happens to you when the worst case scenario actually happens #you get so jumpy and frightened #my problems seem so intense and so much cause everytime I bring it up I judt get hit with #“oh.” or “wow.” or “im sorry.” #and its like you're clearly uncomfortable! and now I feel bad! and its like I can never tell anyone whats wrong. #and the few people who do listen I can never get them to talk to me in normal circumstances #so i feel like you're a therapist more than a friend and thats worse bc its like im using you #vent #i just feel like crying but I know it wont fix anything and i'll just get another nose bleed

[babygirlcowboy]

Please god tell me why I just got my period 12 days after the last one ended,,like what was your reason for this one?

#im in denial so i think its only spotting and not an actual period #but we will see in the morning ig 🥹 #if it is a period i pray to god its just a fluke one time thing bc i really don't want to go through what i did in highschool again #((<- uncontrollable menstruation that came and went on its own accord and never gave me a day of rest)) #the estrogen i had been taking helped a lot but...i am no longer taking it bc..too poor :/ #I've been off of it for a few months and I've been pretty regular tho...just...hoping this is not the beginning of something bad #tw menstrual cycle #just in case

[raeathnos]

.

#so there’s a covid outbreak at the nursing home where my grandma is #and my father has refused to stop visiting her so he’s been going anyways #got the call that she has covid 🙃 #she’s thankfully asymptomatic and they’re gonna give her that medicine that makes it not as intense just in case #but me and my and my husband are all furious with him because now we’ve all potentially been exposed #this is how we caught it last time- he refused to stop visiting and then he caught it and gave it to all of us #the cherry on top was that he only lost his sense of smell- the rest of us got hit like a fucking truck #and I got long covid #which was finally starting to improve and go away five fucking months later #I’m gonna be so pissed if we all catch it again and I get long covid again #anyways send good vibes that hopefully we don’t get it again #but I’m not very hopeful about that #I haven’t been feeling 100% the past few days #it’s either allergies or he already infected me :/ #we need to get fucking out of here 🙃 #I’m so angry

[flower-zombie-rob]

Vent in tags

#tw vent #i sometimes debate just giving up on art #or barely bothering honestly #the problem im having is that i just dont gets notes anymore. and this isnt a boo hoo no attention woe is me thing #this is a thing with my confidence now because i'm having issues. i used ti get almost 90 notes per drawing and people used to luke my art #but nowadays i barely crack 40 with a self reblog and thats in the case of leaving the post for a few days because in the first circulation #my posts dont even break 20-30 notes anymore. it feels like people have lost intrest in what i have to sgare and that hurts a little. i #thought my art was really improving with my lineart and my pose drawing but it just feels like no ones interested in my art. people dont #share it anymore #people dont want it anymore. and it really makes me wonder what the point is. and i dont mean to be like Boo who woe is me i mean the #fandoms I draw for don't want me to make content for them anymore despite a growing follower base. Occasionally I try going back and #Drawing the characters and the concepts that captivated people at first and boosted my notes. I tried drawing the ships that people liked #The first time around I tried roaring the same characters that people gave hundreds of notes when I first drew them. But no matter what I #Try I just can't recapture the same love that people seemed to have at some point for my art which has just dipped off over the year.

[fraldarrius]

can money just fall out of the sky or something 😭

#the pay i just got was a whopping $397 #and my account was already at -$300 #and it’s already all used up bc i put $200 on one credit card (which doesn’t even cover the entire minimum payment) #then $87 on another credit card that i’ve been using more than i wanted to #and then $100 as spending money until i get my last paycheck from my second job next week #which is also going to be less than $400 #i left $10 in my account just in case any overdraft fees come out before my $200 payment comes out #bc i do not need nsf fees on top of everything else rn #i’m just so fucking depressed about money all the time like this is insane #getting two jobs was supposed to help but they both barely gave me any hours lmao #so nothing actually changed #can’t wait for my next pay to also be half gone the day i get it to pay the rest of that minimum payment 🥰 #also still owe $60 on my phone bill and $82 for another credit card’s minimum payment #the phone bill will be overdue but i’ve still got a few weeks before that other minimum payment is due at least #my pay 2 weeks from now will actually be pretty good but until then i’m fucked #shush sar

[khezuonhead]

not to be that cunt that makes others' cancer battles about themself for two secs but jfc. i get it. it's fucking hard on everyone and especially on him. like i fucking get it. but that doesn't change the fact that it truly just makes me feel even more alone and unimportant

#when i saw her two weeks ago my aunt gave me a box of favourites. #said it isn't much but i wanted to give you something that you can have to yourself for a bit #and that meant a lot ngl. like as much as i'm distant w my family. she's the only one that's really ever acknowledged how my brother's #medical history has affected me in the long run. like people always talk about the kid. or the parents. but never the siblings #and not to sound like a selfish cunt. but if it was me w sudden cancer i truly cannot see them upending their entire lives to visit me #every. single. day. like i've just never ever felt like i was ever as important to them as he has been. #anyway. needed to get that off my chest without putting it in front of anyone i know irl in case it comes back. #sorry for the venting. the last few weeks have been a lot and i've had two breakdowns in three days #myscrems

[incognit0slut]

Hypothetically

Chronically single, you suggest a pact with your best friend to start a family together when you turn forty.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x bau fem reader

Category: fluff/comfort

Warnings: marriage and baby talk, reader is insecure because she feels left out

A/n: This is my entry for the kid fic challenge by @imagining-in-the-margins! This was like a breath of fresh air from all the smut I’ve been writing

"Do you want to have a baby with me?"

The scalding coffee burned his tongue as your question lingered in the air. Spencer cleared his throat awkwardly and patted his chest, his eyes drifting towards you. "Uh... what?"

"Hypothetically," you replied, the tap of your pen echoing against the round table between you. "It's like a pact. If we're both still single in the future, we get married to one another and, well, start a family together."

Spencer felt the clamminess of his palms as he set his mug down, trying to steady himself. He considered you as one of the closest people in his life, if not his best friend, and he was accustomed to your random questions, but this sudden topic of conversation seemed to strike a nerve.

"Where..." he began, wiping his palm along his pants. "...where is this coming from?"

You shrugged casually, the tapping of your pen momentarily ceasing. "Just a thought. I mean, we're both at that age where these things start to cross our minds, right?"

Spencer swallowed, trying to push down the unease rising in his chest. "Yeah, I guess so," he muttered, but as he studied you, he noticed the tension in your shoulders. "Are you okay?"

Your gaze flickered away for a moment before you sighed, slumping against your chair.

"I have a wedding coming up this weekend." Spencer frowned, not understanding what you were trying to say. You continued, "And another one next week, and guess what? Two of my cousins are getting married next month."

"What does that have to do with...?" His voice trailed off as realization dawned on him. "Ah, I see."

But you weren't finished. Somehow, the thoughts that had lingered in your mind for the past few days spilled out right then and there, in the middle of broad daylight when you were supposed to be focusing on the case you were working on.

"And a close friend I went to high school with just gave birth while another friend from college announced she's two months pregnant. And look at me," you exclaimed, your arms flying around. "No wedding. No pregnancy. Spencer, I don't even have a boyfriend, heck, I forgot what it's like to go out on a date!"

He watched as your brow furrowed into a frown, and although your demeanor was all over the place, he couldn't help but notice how you still managed to look pretty.

"Spence?" You asked, nudging his leg with your foot under the table. "Are you listening to me?"

He blinked, momentarily pulled from his thoughts by your voice. "Sorry," he replied. "I'm listening."

You gave him a skeptical look, but the tension in your shoulders seemed to ease slightly as you leaned back in your chair.

"I just... I don't know, I feel like I'm left behind." You sighed, running a hand through your hair. "I mean, I'm happy for my friends and all, but sometimes it feels like everyone's moving forward but me. Like I'm stuck in this... this rut."

Spencer wasn't sure how to respond. On one hand, he knew how it felt to want something that seemed out of reach, but on the other hand, he felt like it wasn't his place to offer advice when he wasn't even sure what the future held for him.

"I get it," he finally said, trying to gather his thoughts. The least he could do was try to offer some comfort. "But just because you haven't reached those milestones yet doesn't mean you won't get there eventually."

"But what if it doesn't happen? What if I'm still all alone and nobody loves me when I'm gray and old?"

He frowned at you. "I'd still love you when you're gray and old."

"Platonically. You love me as much as you love JJ. Or Emily. Or Penny, or even Morgan." You leaned over the table. "I want to be loved passionately by someone who is head over heels for me, who can't imagine a life without me. I want to feel that kind of happiness."

His frown deepened. "I don't think you should find happiness in another person."

"You're missing the point," you groaned, crossing your arms. "I'm not saying I want to depend on someone else for my happiness. But is it too much to ask for someone to share it with? To feel like I'm someone's everything and not just another friend in the group?"

His expression softened as he listened, a sense of familiarity washing over him. He remembered feeling the same thing once, or maybe more than once; he wasn't sure. He had lost count of the times he felt his life was falling short.

But he realized the more he thought about the why—why was he so different? why couldn't he find love?—the more he felt worthless, and he hated that. So what was the best thing he did to ignore those thoughts?

Bury himself in work, because to him, pushing those feelings aside was easier than confronting them. But now, as he looked at you, it felt like he was seeing his own reflection and your words hit him harder than he expected.

"No," he quietly agreed. "It's not too much to ask for."

"I guess what I'm trying to say is... I'm tired of waiting for life to happen to me." Your gaze slowly met his. "So I came up with a plan."

His throat felt dry as he recalled how this conversation started in the first place. "The... baby plan?"

You nodded enthusiastically, sliding into the seat next to him.

"Think about it. If we're both still single when we're..." You paused, furrowing your brow as you did a quick calculation. "Forty? Yeah, let's say we're both still single when we're forty, with no partners, or like, no friends with benefits?"

You shook your head.

“Just... with no one in our lives—we get married. You and me."

He blinked, trying to process your proposal. It was unexpected, to say the least, but there was a strange logic to it that he couldn't quite shake. The idea of marrying his best friend as a backup plan was both absurd and oddly comforting.

"But what about... love?" he asked cautiously. "Wasn't that what you wanted?"

You paused, considering his question before responding. "I mean, I don't think it's impossible," you said, leaning back in your seat. "Haven't you ever heard of the saying, 'Marry your best friend'?"

His gaze lingered on you, his heart beating hard against his chest. "You're saying that we can fall in love?"

Your eyes met his, and a small smile tugged at the corners of your lips. "Who knows?" you replied softly. "Stranger things have happened."

Spencer shouldn't entertain the possibility. After all, who knew what could happen in the future? It seemed like an absurd thought, but as he stared at you, it was hard not to imagine a life with you as his wife.

He imagined you in a white dress, walking down the aisle towards him with a radiant smile on your face. He pictured you both in the house you had just bought, dancing joyfully around the empty rooms as you unpacked boxes together.

Then thoughts of you being pregnant with his child—or maybe even children—filled his mind, and he envisioned a future where your kids would run around in the backyard with a pet dog trailing behind.

And then he considered the prospect of growing old with you, watching as your children eventually started families of their own while you found comfort in each other's company. All of these possibilities didn't seem so bad, because if anyone could understand him on a deep level, it was definitely you.

Maybe this crazy plan of yours wasn't so crazy after all.

"I... I guess it's not impossible," he finally admitted. Then, not wanting to seem too eager, he added, "Hypothetically speaking."

"Of course," you replied with a smile. "Hypothetically speaking."

Suddenly feeling flustered by your gaze, Spencer looked away and focused on his coffee, bringing the mug to his lips. Then you heard laughter and footsteps drawing closer, and soon Derek and Emily entered the room. Their eyes immediately landed on the two of you, sitting closely together at the table.

"What are you children whispering about?" Derek's voice interrupted, his eyebrows raised curiously as he glanced between you.

You didn't miss a beat. “Spencer and I are having a baby together."

Spencer choked on his coffee, his eyes widening in shock as he coughed and sputtered. You quickly moved to pat his back.

"Well, we're gonna get married first, right, Spence?" you added with a grin, glancing at him expectantly.

Spencer finally managed to regain his composure, clearing his throat awkwardly as he shot you a sideways glance. "Um, yeah, of course," he stammered, his cheeks still tinged with embarrassment. "Hypothetically."

Derek and Emily exchanged bemused glances, a silent conversation passing between them. Emily's curiosity seemed to win out as she lifted a hand, turning her attention back to you. "Care to explain?"

"We were discussing our backup plan."

"Backup plan?" Derek echoed. 

"Yeah," you replied with a nod. "In case neither of us finds the right person by the time we're, oh, I don't know, forty or so, we figured we'd marry each other and start a family."

Derek placed a hand over his chest, feigning hurt. "And you chose Pretty Boy over me?"

"I'm not going to compete with all your lady friends," you shot back, rising from your seat. "Come on, Spence, let's grab some lunch and brainstorm baby names."

He stood up, giving you a pointed look.

"Or do you want to discuss how we'd make those babies in the future?"

"Well, I was thinking of Amelia if it's a girl..."

You grinned, linking your arm through his before guiding him towards the door. Derek and Emily observed the natural closeness between you two, how you were practically clinging to him and how he seemed to be comfortable with it.

Derek turned to Emily as you disappeared down the hallway. "Do you think they'd actually get married when they hit forty?"

Emily shook her head. "Nope," she replied confidently. "I give it a year until he's already down on one knee."

He laughed, nodding in agreement. With the way Spencer's gaze lingered on you with unmistakable affection, it seemed like it was only a matter of time.

#spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x self insert #spencer reid x fem!reader #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x fanfiction #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid drabble #spencer reid scenario #spencer reid fanfic #criminal minds fanfic

[menderash]

did you guys know that the mother fucking UN's humanitarian and legal experts have been saying israel's occupation of palestine territories is and has always been illegal, as it violates the FUCKING GENEVA CONVENTION? did you know it was britain that 'gave' the land that wasn't theirs to give to found the state of israel as a tactic to get more jews to join the british army in their already-active war against the ottoman empire? did you know that just between 2008 and 2022 the idf killed almost SEVEN THOUSAND palestinians, as opposed to the 308 israelis by palestinians in the same time period? did you know that israel itself admits to 'forcefully evacuating' palestinians from their homes over the course of their annexation of the country? did you know the british army helped them? did you know that any palestinian who didn't want to have their house taken from them and given to american immigrants being shipped in to populate britain's pet project was killed on their spot? did you know that back in 2018 palestinians did nothing but MARCH in protest of their occupation and in response, the idf is CONFIRMED to have killed almost 400 of them, including FIFTY FIVE CHILDREN? did you know palestinians are not allowed to build anything on the land they have left? did you know they aren't ALLOWED TO LEAVE?? did you know over HALF of christian evangelicals support israel solely because the bible says israel has to exist in order to bring about the second coming? did you know that in 2021, over 88% of us congress were evangelical christians? did you know israel is confirmed to have knowingly bombed palestinian hospitals and the idf had been caught targeting journalists? did you know israel is committing another war crime at this very moment by dropping white phosphorus on gaza civilians? did you know the israeli press was just confirmed to have completely fabricated an account of palestinian war crime right after their own got caught on film? did you know the defense minister of israel openly called all palestinians 'animals' to justify the deaths of their civilians? did you know holocaust survivors are presently speaking out against the israeli state's ethnic cleansing of arabs?

why, in the united states, is criticizing a settler colony's active attempts at extermination labeled antisemitic because of the religion the settlers happen to practice, but rooting for the complete eradication of a muslim country that was already there and is barely still there not islamophobia?? why is religion being used as a shield to justify genocide?

when a sudden act of politically charged violence occurs, like the hamas attack a few days ago, i ask WHY? i ask WHY until i get as far back as i can. i read accounts written by all sides. i try to find out why this is happening in the first place. half of these facts have come from the israeli government itself. all of them are easily found and easily confirmed by reputable sources. a lot of them are caught on film. all of these facts lead me to know that the state of israel was created by britain in order to gain an advantage in an unrelated war. i know the state of israel has caused unimaginable harm to the country it's slowly eating, and has suffered just a fraction in return. i know religion justifies none of it.

palestinians deserve to live in their own country. palestinians deserve to not be forced to give their homes to americans. palestinians deserve to live, to leave, to stay, to wave their own fucking flag. they do not deserve to have another country plopped on top of them and then have their settlers ask 'don't WE have a right to exist?' as their own right to exist is being extinguished.

fuck the idf, fuck israel, fuck manifest destiny, fuck all settlers who think they deserve someone else's home enough to kick them out of it. literally, in israel's case. indigenous americans, indigenous canadians, chicanos, pacific islanders, filipinos, mestizos, we should all be standing with palestine, because we KNOW how colonial violence goes and what it looks like. solidarity between all colonised peoples. free palestine.

#ive been sick to my fucking stomach #free palestine