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Journal Entry / Those Who Stay
A previous version of this post included the title supplements “(The Butcher of Loneliness, pt. 2; [Courtship, pt. 5]),” which made the top aggressively ugly and also abstruse. None the less, one should consider this entry as the fifth in a much-dislocated series. —The Editors
—
A stranger messaged me the other day, congratulating me on my Anne Carson tour. It seems I’d avoided her for two decades and then this last month [November] I read most of her work and posted about it, indiscriminately, nearly every night, on my IG story. Obv the accolades piled in, unstoppable. Indeed, I read most of her books in the span of two weeks—whatever I could find at the booksellers or online or through resellers, eager for her matter-of-fact eloquence on Greek historians, Proust’s long “fairy tale,” and then the remarks on Woolf (and why? I’ve barely read thru Swann’s Way). I was walking nearly 12 miles a day like the city varmint they track on TikToks. These were long walks to wear me down and they filled my heels with a bolting pain that pulsed, even in bed, even after taking many ibuprofen. I became lean like varmint, too. Running was an absolute nightmare but I ran anyway and obv you know this.
What did I imagine Carson wrote versus what does she actually write? | thought she occupied herself with academic exercises—frosty, formal reports from the edge of translation, with some personal assaying inside. Crone’s notes; old lady vibes; sententious from her years collecting the high-finance prizes. (Thus I am both stupid and sexist.) I liked Autobiography of Red in grad school but couldn't follow the plot. [Falling out of the plot is a great fear of mine.] Her compendium of chapbooks, Float, has flashes of Frank O’Hara’s chatty list poems (“Eras of Yves Klein” and “How to Like ‘If I Told Him: A Completed Portrait of Picasso’ By Gertrude Stein”), and a very funny aside on style in “Merry Christmas from Hegel”: “You will forgive me if you are someone who knows a lot about Hegel or understands it, I do not and will paraphrase badly, but I understood him to be saying he was fed up with popular criticism of his terrible prose.” Ancient playwrights made themselves known as ghostships do by creaking thru fog. These encounters were diverting but not fastening, perhaps because they were, let’s be frank, scraps, one-offs, anecdotes, whose audience could be best described as friends and family. What was her deal with the Brontës? The difficulty with pronouns? I wasn’t family yet. I hadn’t read enough. I was a younger man. My circumstances changed. I was presumed to fall out of love, pathetically so. I fell back in love with someone who didn’t love me back—a feeling whose use-value accounts for a world literature rich in sympathetic losers. It was an excellent time to read one Anne Carson.
She writes a lot about not getting what you want. I discovered, with Glass, Irony & God, that she’s never found peace with the lover who abandoned her (“It is stunning... when one’s lover comes in and says I do not love you anymore”) and that her oeuvre may well be a perduring dialog with that loss. In Plainwater, published the same year, she opens her “Anthropology of Water” by prefacing, “Water is something you cannot hold. Like men. I have tried. Father, brother, lover, true friends, hungry ghosts and God, one by one all took themselves out of my hands”; and in the ominous poem “New Rule” from Men in the Off Hours, “The night of hooks?// The man blade left open on the stair?/ Not enough spin on it, said my true love/ when he left in our fifth year.” Then in Decreation, re the Bloomsbury set, with its members at last in matrimonial equipoise, Carson shits on the premise of their futurity:
I wonder if they paused to look at each other, these mated and unmated people, on the exposed plane of an ordinary moment of that curious, heavy, historic, wrong day. Sudden feeling of oldness. Black upland wind. Bring a coat, they had been told, and a piece of smoked glass. It will get cold. It will hurt your eyes. Totality is lightless, and should be colourless, yet may intensify certain questions that hang at the back of the mind. What is a spouse after all? Will this one stay, can this one keep me alive?
I mean, it wasn't exactly a great time to be alive. Two world wars, bad cures for cancer, and the ungenial environment for genius women. Still, you get the sense her worry’s sincere; she wants these aristocratic oddballs to find some warmth, some flame of reason. Carson’s apocalyptic scene-setting puts me in mind of Bo Bartlett's Dreamland, a painting full of strange celebrants on their way from a wedding. They are curious, serious, strolling up a hill. A few appear to look back at their viewers. There’s a bride, a pilot, a priest, a baby with a crown; a lady rich in her furs; and leading them all, a fool.
—
In The Paris Review, Carson describes a childhood moving past fixed friendships as her father moved from bank to bank in Canadian backwaters. Uprooted every few years, she regarded her schoolmates as bad bets; better to shy away from relations whose half-life guaranteed painful, present decay. (These are facts. My mom suffered same as a preacher’s daughter, leaving midwest ministries every three years or so for the next Methodist parsonage. I asked her what that was like, and she said, “I was always learning new rules. I never understood them. What music people liked. How I should dress. What was funny. I made good grades and was very pretty but was teased constantly because I was quiet and the minister was my dad and I tried always to be nice. I felt very alone.” Another comp: Anne Carson’s father and my mother’s father both died of premature, catastrophic, late-stage Alzheimer’s.)
When you’re young, you learn how to keep people close: you learn to trust that they last and even if they don’t last, you at least learn that faculty of trust (that people stay), which is a kind of peace. Trust-breakers remain outliers. They do not pertain to a worldview of paralyzing detachment. But “I’ll be leaving,” thought Carson; “this won’t last.” Her work continually makes evident that it has never resolved, never made sense of leaving, and that she has never learned enough from it to move on. Further, her work emphasizes that she has chosen not to move on. That, sometimes, choosing obsessive disappointment is as liberating and galvanizing as choosing what we superficially call “freedom.” “I’ve avoided enlightenment resolutely,” she says. “As it is, I’m just sad.”
In her brother’s epitaph, Carson includes Michael’s note admonishing her, “Don’t go back to the farm don’t go alone,” and, “Put the past away you have to.” The siblings were not only worlds but timescales apart. He wrote from Copenhagen where he was hard-scrabbling, existing on cigarettes and shopkeeping—but wifed-up—still, insect-pinned to a crime he committed in 1978 and never going home. Meanwhile, Anne led university students in Michigan through cases of Attic Greek (nominative, accusative, genitive, dative, and vocative) and composed odd poems about ruined expectations. On the one hand, several millennia of precedent: Simonides of Keos, Herodotos, Sokrates [her characteristic spelling favors a k where other scholars rely on the less economic ch], Archilochos, Augustine, Basho, Sartre. On the other, she inhabited estranging tactics: Is this a poem or prose translation? Is this a poem or academic gloss? Is this a poem or… opera? And then too the voices of dead starlets, Free French mystics, Romanian-born/German-language suicides, and (famously, for Anne Carson) Sappho. Her brother wrote “don’t go back” and “put the past away” but seemed sorely oblivious to her present case. Up stakes? From where? How can you return to where you’ve never left? How do you come back from where you’ve never gone, etc. (I’m asking for myself.)
Alice, a character in Complicite’s Mnemonic, tells her ex-lover Virgil, “You have to wait now and this time you follow,” crazing him. “Can you hear the inherent contradiction in that?” he reports to a friend, continuing:
You have to wait and follow. It’s impossible. And I suddenly realized what’s happening to her . . . What’s going on is that she’s feeding back on herself. It’s feedback, turbulence. Her internal state is like weather. Our internal lives are a mystery. We don’t even know what causes us to sleep. My doctor can tell me I’ve got insomnia but he doesn’t know how or why.
I write that Anne Carson has never made sense of leaving, never moved on, and yet her formative years were spent in transit, dislocated, grasping and still removed. In her “Praise of Sleep,” she ends remarks on Elizabeth Bishop, Virginia Woolf, The Odyssey, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead, and Plato’s Krito with an ode whose last line reads: “Exit wound, as they say.” I consider this a hypothetical—a pretense—of feeling, because she hasn’t exited. Anne Carson is standing stock-still on blue icy hinterlands in dark Ontario. Others left, she stayed, and the wound (this is odd to say—actually, it’s certainly painful to write)—the wound is that we stay. If we exit, maybe we can find a goddam bandage or two. If we exit, maybe we can avoid further harm? In a play, as in life, exits create new scenes. You actually have to leave to move elsewhere, to move on. Acknowledging this is obv v silly but that doesn’t make it wrong. I corrected a friend on the same matter a few days ago: “This is not a metaphor.”
“An epitaph is a way of thinking about death and gives consolation,” says Carson, in The Economy of the Unlost. “Salvation occurs, through the act of attention that forms stone into memory, leaving residue of greater life. I am speaking subjectively. There is no evidence of salvation except a gold trace in the mind.”
Here my patience quavers.
Memory isn’t stone; it’s a blood sponge with connective neural byways and low electric activity. And gold is not found in persons whatsoever—not the element [unless thru surgery]—and only meekly by virtue of right action, as a simile, and a tired one.
—
[The sorrow of] unrequited love compels its sufferers to do strange things. Sometimes monstrous things. Of course requited love feeds upon its own vagaries—obsessive texting; fucking in closets at parties; betraying your right conscience to do wrong things (e.g, the one time I went on a big gay camping trip while my grandmother died, not too far away, to shore up my relations with a man. My brothers, who’d flown in to comfort my mother, found my absence unspeakably bizarre). Success in love absorbs these bursts of mania and incorporates them rather too smoothly into the usual narratives of banal romantic triumph. A rehearsal dinner’s tear-stained anecdotes; the party fodder; nostalgia. And despite the severity of love’s work in these broken measures, the idiocy of courtship (and situationship and relationship) have become a civic pastime—a tax some lucky ones pay to perdure in the dreamscape of public life as married, home-owning child-bearers.
You have to be absolutely nuts. Just out of your mind. You have to be so accommodating, nearly incorporeal, to integrate another’s habits and tastes. Their family—and that family’s customs? You have to know how much regular sex to expect, and money, and if perhaps you care to swing when you travel? Obviously I could not. But then, the happily-in-love don’t write essays on love. They bask cage-jawed behind love’s silencing muzzle. The happily-in-love are editors or novelists or reporters. There are no stings for them, no impalements, and they are galvanized to look elsewhere for the stories of their day. They’re great gossips, for instance, in the miseries of the unloved, because the unloved bring them news.
[fragment ends]
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[The unofficial Earth flag created by John McConnell includes The Blue Marble photograph taken by the crew of Apollo 17.]
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Eine Probe meiner Zyklen kann online als Beispiel hier gefunden werden: , beste sarm für Macht. CyberSpieler, beste Waffen für Strom.com/test/zyklen/3200/ (Siehe auch die Stichprobe in der Tabelle unten, um zu sehen, wie viele Tage ich verwendet habe), die beste Waffe für die Macht.
Wenn Sie sich bemühen, Ihre Toleranz für Equipoise und/oder HGH zu erhöhen, können Sie zunächst mit einer kleineren Dosis beginnen und zunächst eine kleinere Dosis einnehmen, die für diejenigen, die neu sind, Steroiden zu verwenden. Der Zyklus ist etwas anders, wenn zunächst eine höhere Dosis beginnt, siehe hier mehr zu diesem, menschliches Wachstumshormon langfristige Effekte.
Mehr Informationen über den Zyklus von Steroiden I finden Sie hier:
/ Prüf-/Zyklus/4100/
Sie können mehr über den damit zusammenhängenden Artikel lesen als nur durch Lesen über ihn, die beste Waffen für Macht. Ich werde nicht vorhersehen, dass ich die einzige Möglichkeit habe, dies für Sie zu tun, aber ich werde versuchen, zu helfen. Es gibt wenig, was gesagt wird, dass es in diesem Faden neu ist. Ich werde in mutiger Weise dazu beitragen, die Leser besser verstehen zu können, ein Akadrol-Zyklus, das die Geräusche, /deca-sw-60-anavar-royal-lab/, getestet. Ich werde nicht auf diese Art in diesem Faden antworten, somatropinne hgh zum Verkauf.
deca durabolin oral habe nicht die genauen Dosierungen oder Laufzeiten der Steroiden, Verwendung oder Zyklen, dbal Verbindung aktualisiert0 geprüft. Ich werde davon ausgehen, dass Sie alle Informationen haben, die Sie benötigen (einschließlich meiner Erfahrung), und Sie sind völlig bequem mit der Frage, wie Sie Informationen zu diesem Thema suchen.
Sie können die nachstehende Tabelle prüfen, um zu sehen, wie meine Zyklen und Dosis nach Beginn der Equipoise und HGH, einadrol-Appoise-Testzyklus, für mich aussieht.
Ein grundlegender Europcar-Zyklus wird hier vorgestellt, wo Testosteron in einer Dosis verwendet wird, die hoch genug ist, um anabole Effekte zu liefern, und Alfa wird in einem typischen Ausgangsdosisbereich für 2-mg-Tier/kg Körpergewicht mit einer Gewichtsverlust-Zertifikate für diese Größe, deca por 60 bereitgestellt. Testosteron wird verwendet, um die T/W/T-Quoten in einem Ausbildungszyklus zu ergänzen, um die Stärke und die Muskelmasse zu erhöhen und die Hypertrophy in Verbindung mit Whirlpool zu verbessern. Dieser Zyklus soll die Muskeln für 5 Tage mit 6 Wochen Ruhe zwischen ihnen, Test-Aadrol e, e-Zyklusforen schulen.
Kugelzyklus Es handelt sich um einen Basis-Mikro-Zyklus, bei dem Testosteron in einer Dosis verwendet wird, die hoch genug ist, um anabole Effekte mit einem normalen Wachstum zu erzielen.
Tests können auf einem Asos-Zyklus durchgeführt werden, bei dem T/W/T/A-Quoten unter Verwendung der folgenden Testosteron-Quotesskala getestet werden: 0,15 mg Testosteron – 2mg von Testosteron. Testosteron wird verwendet, um die NEO zu ergänzen. Die Dosis wird vom Bahnsteiger festgelegt und kann oft auf ein angemessenes Angebot für jeden einzelnen angepasst werden, insbesondere in diesem Zyklus, in dem Testosteron für 3 aufeinander folgende Tage in einem einzigen Zyklus, Steroid-Zyklus mr olympia, gemessen werden kann. Es wird in unterschiedlicher Weise eine „Ruhe“ von drei Tagen sein, um den Körper zu erholen, dbol machen Sie Hunger. In der Regel dauert die Ausbildung von zwei bis drei Tagen, wobei einige drei oder vier Tage hinzukommen.
Gewicht-Los-Protokoll Gewichtverluste auf die anabolen Ebenen sind nicht unbedingt notwendig, aber es ist wünschenswert, innerhalb einer Woche oder zwei von Beginn des Zyklus einen angemessenen Betrag von Anadrol zu haben, um ein gewisses Gewicht natürlich zu verlieren. Gewichtverluste auf die anabolen Ebenen werden mit einer Kombination der folgenden Techniken erreicht: Dosen: 0,4 mg/kg, 0,2 mg/kg, 0,15 mg/kg.
T/W-Quotes: 2.5 – 8 mg/kg, 1.5 – 7 mg/kg, 0,25 – 4 mg/kg. Um einige Muskelmasse ohne zu viel Gewicht zu erhöhen, hinzufügen Sie in einigen zusätzlichen Gramm Aspirin zu jeder Leistung von Testosteron, Test e, Forellen e aadrol-Zyklus. Je nach Menge Aspirin ist die Stärke der Person, die sie essen, unabhängig davon, ob ein Lebensmittel eingenommen wird, und wie hoch auf anabole Steroide ist. Aspirin Dosis von 2 bis 4 Tabletten ist geeignet, aber Aspirin kann dazu beitragen, den Testosteron etwas mehr „aktiver“ zu machen, und wirksamer für anabole Effekte, wenn man als „Maintenance“-Tabletten, hgh mg bis iu.
Leistungsstarke Steroide können es den Menschen ermöglichen, in wenigen Wochen bis zu 30 Pfund Muskel an ihren Rahmen hinzuzufügen, die Moobs auf dem Urlaubcan verbessern, den Muskel mit dem Alter erhöhen, und sogar Krebs kann kontrolliert werden. Jedoch haben die Medikamente noch einen erheblichen negativen Nebeneffekt und Sie wollen sie nicht nehmen, es sei denn, Sie sind sehr sicher, dass sie Ihnen helfen werden.
Sie wollen auch keine Steroide nehmen, es sei denn, Sie sind sehr sicher, dass es Ihnen helfen wird. Man kann also nicht beginnen, Steroide ohne Zustimmung eines Arztes zu nehmen.
Was ist das Risiko?
natural anabolic steroids kann ein ernsthaftes Gesundheitsrisiko bestehen, insbesondere diejenigen, die anabole Steroide als Wirkstoffe enthalten.
Dies bedeutet, dass Sie Ihre Gesundheit gefährden, indem sie anabole Steroide mit anderen Medikamenten oder Aktivitäten kombinieren, die Ihre Gesundheit schädigen und Sie anfälliger für Krankheiten wie Herzinfarkte, Schlaganschläge und Bluthochdruck machen.
Sie sollten also keine anabolen Steroide mit folgenden Elementen kombinieren:
jegliche Form des Rauchens, wie z.B. E-Zigaretten oder Otah Tabak.
Übungen, die Ihre Muskeln mehr als üblich verbrennen.
Übungen, die Sie hohen Blutdruck, Herz- oder Nervenprobleme haben.
Wenn Sie glauben, dass Sie anabole Steroide nehmen sollten, sollten Sie zunächst einen Arzt sehen. Diese Medikamente haben keine Nebenwirkungen, und Ihr Arzt kann Ihnen alle Medikamente (z.B. Blutgerährner) empfehlen, die Sie mit der Entwicklung von Nebenwirkungen von Drogen in Gefahr sind.
anabole Steroide werden in der Regel von Sportlern verwendet, die
hart arbeiten; schwierige körperliche Aktivitäten ausüben; Schwergewichte (häufig mit einem Partner), Hochberge, Schwimmen, Sport, Arbeit als Feuerwehrleute aufheben oder lange Zeiträume in extremen Bedingungen verbringen.
sind besorgt über die Verlierung von Gewicht oder den Erhalt von Muskel.
regelmäßig zu arbeiten;
viel Herz-Kreislauf.
Was sollten Sie erwarten, wenn Sie anabole Steroide nehmen?
Je nach Körpertyp/Funktion kann das Körper Veränderungen seines Hormonsystems erleben. anabole Steroide können Sie sich energischer fühlen und im Vergleich zu den Kontrollen eine spürbare Erhöhung der Größe und der Muskelexposition haben.
Jedoch werden diese Vorteile nach einer Zeit verschwinden und es ist wichtig zu beachten, dass sie Wochen für Ihr Körper zur Anpassung an die Veränderungen ergreifen können.
Wichtig ist auch, dass anabole Steroide in der Regel keine klare Wirkung auf Fett haben, was in den Wochen nach der Verwendung von anabolem Steroid zu einem höheren Körpergewicht und einer fetten Muskelmasse führen kann.
Wie können negative Nebenwirkungen vermieden werden
Denken Sie daran, dass die Einnahme von anabolen Steroiden nicht immer
Volksbezogene Steroide: hgh youtube, /aktivität/p/110462/
Drogeninformationen über Anadrol-50 (oxymetholone) umfassen Nebenwirkungen, Verwendungen, Drogeninteraktionen, Dosierung, Drogenbilder, Überdosierungssymptome und das, was zu vermeiden ist. Größere Muskelmasse – Ausstattung (200 ml) + Test enanthat (200 mg) – Beginn eines Winterzyklus von Tests e 1000 mg, Garnelen 1 200 mg pro Woche , mit einemadrol 100 mg pro Tag. Ich hatte Zyklen von ca. 400, dbol , Trenbolon und. D-bal schafft den endgültigen anabolen Zustand für Mega Muskelwachstum, schnelle Kraftgewinne und erhöhte Masse, einadrol-Herstellungszyklus
Jadi tunggu apalagi? mau yang berkualitas? ya di nusanabol ajaa jual Starter Massenmix für Starter Test e+test p+tren e 500 mg 10ml2 Quadratkilometer Labors pharmamix. Es ist einfacher, Spitzen- und stabile Blutspiegel über Forellen a zu halten, ist erschwinglicher und mit einem langen Ester Testosteron-Stärkte wie möglich. e/tren e/ gewinnenny. Ich habe kürzlich den "fortgeschrittenen schlanken Kreislauf von Nasen bestellt und war frage, ob dies der beste Weg ist. Ergebnisse 1 – 30 von 39 – Zyklusprotokoll: Test m1t npp Bulker m1t ist ein Steroid. Recomp Zyklusprop/tren/dbol oder Prop/npp/winny. 9, Test e dbol Fahrraddos. 2: Während Trenbolon e, die durch vergleichsweise weniger Ester, langsame Spitzenwerte aufgebracht werden. Troppo iltuo cuore, il Testosteron è il Komposto migliore. — Testosteron Test e 750 mg + Trenbolon 300 mg + hgh
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