#Dummest shit ever

[petallix]

POV you are Dave Mustaine 40 years ago

#my stuff #metallica #megadeth #lulz #Dummest shit ever #I promise i have something better that i'll post tomorrow #fuck perfectionism #Ghhh 💔

[hypnotisedfireflies]

What’s the funniest/dummest reason Tess or Joel knocked someone out. Like, did Tess ever really like someone’s shoes and Joel did her the favor ha.

Hahaha! Oh anon, you get a little ficlet. 🥰

You Haven't Seen Everything

Winter, 2021

"But getting out of Miami," Axel continued, placing another bag of cocoa on the scales, "that was something else. You ever seen infected on rollerblades? No? You haven't seen everything yet."

"Great, can you just concentrate on the merchandise, please?" Tess gestured to the pile.

"Oh sure, sure. Don't worry, I do this all the time."

Axel, with his shaved skull and toxic green mohawk bristling down the centre, gamely nodded at the scales as he pulled off the Ziploc bag and added it to the pile. He was a new contact. It had been worth travelling to this middling little New Hampshire town to meet him, but Joel was starting to think it wasn't worth the noise.

He leaned up harder against the wall like he could burrow his spine into the plaster and disappear. They were dealing in an old art supplies store, turned over and trashed, the wasted materials swept up against the walls like snowdrifts. Axel had set up a table in the bare centre and was scooping cocoa powder from a massive tin into the little bags, weighing them one by one. Tess sat opposite. Joel could see the patience sapping out of her with every breath Axel took.

But cocoa was a hot, rare property right now. It was the first time it had surfaced in the Boston QZ in years. Certainly not in the eleven since they'd made it home.

"I was hiding out in this Olive Garden? It was right on Miami Beach. All these infected staggering by on wheels. I just know that we got wheeled clickers down there. Board shorts and bikinis. That's something, right? Yeah, I seen some shit down there. I was in this golf club? You know the little carts?"

He looked between a silent Tess and a silent Joel.

"You know the buggies?"

Silence.

"Yeah. So there's these little buggies. You drive around the course on them. Just enough room for you, your buddies, your clubs. Make the caddy walk, though! The caddy, he goes after your balls. Not your actual balls, like your hairy gonads, but your golf balls. They hand you your clubs."

Joel slowly filled up his lungs. Axel slowly filled up the bags and carefully weighed them, one by one.

"I was hiding in this golf club. Beautiful place. Big ocean views. And we went to war, not against the infected, but against the club across the way! You talk about your gang wars, you know, but these rich old guys went to war with each other riding buggies like white Arab chargers. You ever seen old guys in polos whacking each other with putters out the side of a buggy? No? You haven't seen everything yet."

Tess stood up. "That's our cut. You're done?"

"Huh? What? Oh."

Disappointed, Axel watched Tess load her backpack up with the precious bags of cocoa. The trade - FEDRA-grade antiseptic, water purification tablets and a bottle of lube - sat on the edge of the table. Tess reshouldered the pack.

"Thanks. You know the frequency. Buzz us if you get something else interesting."

"Sure, sure. Let me show you out. So after the gold club, I thought that was too much for me, I got on this Greyhound bus. You know all the urban legends about them, right?"

Axel led them down the back, cheerful tongue wagging to the very end. Joel's chest began to lock up and his palms tingled.

"You ever take a Greyhound bus back in the old days? Overnight? Those were wild. You ever see that movie, Midnight Cowboy? Anyway I got on this bus. And you know who was on it? The Army of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. You ever seen Mormons fighting the forces of Satan in sunny Tampa? No?"

Tess gave Joel a slight nod.

He grabbed Axel by the scruff of the neck and turned him ninety degrees. He banged his face against the wall, hard and just once. That was all it took. He let go and Axel's unconscious body slid bonelessly to the floor.

"You haven't seen everything yet," Joel muttered.

Tess lifted the bar on the door and they stepped outside into the crisp winter afternoon. They were going to have to book it if they'd make it back to their own Olive Garden before dark.

#driftersverse #asks #tlou #tlou fanfic #joel x tess #the last of us #tlou fanfiction #tess servopoulos #joel miller #tessjoel

[ndn-craft]

Why is it when Jimmy, Martyn, and Grian are together, they always do the dummest shit ever?

#craft chats #not exactly spoilers because this just applies to everything they're in

[xshadowkt]

i feel like the dummest person alive like all the time. i want to be academically smart but i just can’t. my biggest trauma from middle and high school was my math teacher that took away all my ability and will to study because on her every lesson i was so humiliated to the point i wanted to quit it all. and now it’s extremely hard to start speaking up in uni classes even when i know the answers and fully prepared for the topic. also i just have no motivation to do shit because of my extremely low grades, i’m barely passing and it’s embarrassing. i see no point in university for me right now what so ever, a lot of places that hiring do not require diploma to work, i’d much rather do that. the only one who i’m doing this for is my mom, i’ve already disappointed her in a lot of things, i can’t disappoint her again.

and please tell me i’m not the only one who feels like if i’m not smart enough then i don’t deserve friends like??? this is so fucking weird but i have this thing in my head that if i got the lowest grade that means now people hate me and disgusted by me…like i can physically feel them judging me or am i tripping??

#girlblogging #god please take my pain away #i’m slowly loosing it #personal diary #tumblr diary #diary #academic crisis #i want to disappear in the woods

[iamanerd1]

hey you know what? I think my mha vigilantes phase had finally ended. I’m picking up the last volume this week and i’ll finally be able to put it on my self and lay this part of my life to rest with all of the other volumes.

It was fun while it lasted, but surely I’ll never find something like it again. After all, it’s a tall order to ask for a series to have an overall positive tone despite having dark elements, have weird off-kilter jokes, fun character designs and powers, some of the weirdest shit i have ever seen put into media, a protagonist that is undeniably the dummest person in the cast, and a guy named Knuckle and a friendly lizard guy??? Like that would be crazy I’ll never find a series like that again-

Hunter x Hunter, has all of that, more, and them:

O_O

#hey mutuals #i have a series recommendation #Vig’s Lesbian Vomit Towel Incident vs HxH’s Gay King Vore Moment

[coshechka]

for the first time in my life upon encountering the term y2k i made myself look up what the fuck was it about exactly. well isn't that the dummest shit i ever heard.

#there were like 5 computers total what were they even worried about #at that level of technology you just had to tighten a few bolts #y2k _problem_ whatever. there's war

[empathsies]

i’m so stupidly tired of irrationally feeling like people hate me for no fucking reason

#↪ 𝑮𝑬𝑵𝑬𝑹𝑨𝑳 // ooc. #negativity tw #i might take a break from here i'm not sure #but idk i feel like i'm screwing things up on here #which is the dummest shit ever because ??? if someone didn't like me they'd unfollow me !!! #it is literally JUST my mind messing with me #i know that #but its exhausting #i'm probably not going to work on anymore incorrect quotes cause they seem to be a big trigger for no reason #i'm sure i'll get over it #i just might need to focus on some other stuff until my therapist has openings asjdfjas

[couldntstopmyself]

Heiii! I hope you’re doing okay :)

Could I maybe send a prompt for sambucky? Honestly anything with Bucky comforting or helping Sam through a mentally or physically exhausting day because my boi needs a hug 🥺

Hiiii! Yesss I had two ideas for this so I’m gonna post both because we all need more Bucky looking after Sam 🥰

So here’s a little fic for you with Sam getting to support and comfort he deserves. Hope you like it

-

Sam was scared. Scared he couldn’t do it. Scared he wasn’t good enough. He’d been Captain America for months now, but he still could not shake the constant fear that one day it would all come crashing down and the world would realise he was a fraud. He had no super powers, no serum. He wasn’t a genius billionaire or a god. He was just a guy who was trying to make a difference, but how could he lead or even measure up to the others.

These thoughts had been running through his head for days, they’d had one bad mission and Sam was doubting himself more than ever before. But of course he kept it in. He was Captain America, he had to be strong, he couldn’t show weakness. He’d been tearing himself up inside and now he was sitting, broken and crying. He felt pathetic.

The door to the bedroom opened and Sam saw Bucky take one look at him and rush to his side. Bucky pulled him into a hug and said nothing, just rubbed soothing circles on his back. Sam tried to push him away, he wanted to be left alone, not be babied by his boyfriend, but Bucky was relentless, refusing to let go until Sam had calmed down.

Bucky was patient. He didn’t push Sam to talk until his breath was even and tears had stopped pouring down his face. And Sam was grateful, as much as he tried to push Bucky away, he was grateful he stayed. He needed him.

“Thank you” Sam mumbled, still not looking up at Bucky’s face. Bucky had seen him in all states, from hurt and unconscious after a fight to blissed out and cuddly after something much more enjoyable, but he couldn’t bring himself to look at Bucky in that moment. He felt exposed.

“Sam,” Bucky started, reaching out to stroke his cheek. “Do you want to talk about it?” He didn’t need to ask what it was about. Even without being told he could tell Sam was struggling, but he didn’t realise quite how much. Sam shook his head, not wanting to burden Bucky, and tried to move away. It was pointless, Bucky’s grip on him only tightened and a hand found its way into his hair. “Sammy.” Bucky said softly, gently scraping Sam’s head. “Sam listen to me.”

Sam looked up at this, staring at Bucky with big eyes, showing all his desperation, all his fear. “What are you going to say Buck? That it doesn’t matter I don’t have powers? That you love me anyway? It doesn’t changed the fact that I am weak. How am I supposed to help everyone when I can’t even help myself!” Sam was nearly yelling at the end, but it wasn’t out of anger, not at Bucky anyway.

When Sam looked at Bucky, he saw he wasn’t scared or upset, he was smiling. A small sad smile conveying too many emotions to count. Love, sympathy, adoration, pride, understanding but no pity.

“Of course it matters you don’t have powers.” Bucky stated, and Sam was taken back for a second. It was said so simply and it definitely was not what Sam was expecting. Bucky ignored this however and continued. “You are special because you don’t have powers. You’re not a God, or a billionaire, or a super soldier, so some weird angry pirate dude. You’re a person. A normal person that cares more for humanity than anyone I have ever met. You do everything you can to fight for what you believe in, and will not stop until the world is better. That’s why I love you and that’s why you have helped and will continue to help more people than you will ever know.” Bucky’s eyes were shining by the time he had finished, and Sam was once again taken back by his partner’s honesty and pure adoration.

“But,” Sam started, still doubting himself. “Captain America is supposed to strong and brave and perfect. How can I do this when I am so weak? I can’t even keep control of my own emotions.” He was trying so hard to fight the tears that were threatening to fall again, to prove he could be strong.

“How can you think you are weak? You are the strongest, bravest person I know. Emotions don’t make a person weak, they make you human. You taught me that. We don’t need any more heroes that don’t know anything about the real world. We need you. Sam Wilson. Captain America. A man without any superhuman abilities, but with a good heart who has experienced the real world and still wants to fight for it. And as for being perfect? The world isn’t, so why do you have to be?” Bucky stood up and walked towards Sam. He didn’t move to touch him, just letting him know that he was there to support him always, no matter what. After a brief hesitation, Sam collapsed into Bucky’s arms, exhausted but peaceful. He may not always believe in himself completely, but he was glad he had someone there to remind him when things get tough. And for now, that was enough.

Send me asks / head cannons / tiny fic request /the dummest shit you can think of

#I’m projecting the love I wanna give to Sam through Bucky #in the form of badly written fanfiction #sambucky #tfatws #sam wilson #bucky barnes #winterfalcon

[kazuhasbunny]

STIP IT LHELP I SPILT MY MILK ALL OVER MY CLOTHES AND DESK BUTMY FRIEND HAD BROKEN INTO MY HOUSE AND WALKED IN ON ME AN DHAD TO SAY THE DUMMEST SHIT EVER, "wow __ i never thought you're such a slut", BIYCH YOU DID NOT IM

UR FRIEND 😭😭 OMSSNHS PLEASW so mean 🙄 like as if . u are not one . everyone is a slut ik stop lying guys it wont get u anywhere 🙄🙄/j

#eli.replies #loserkamu #this made me giggle HSHGSN

[nyotaimorii]

Lying to me to protect my feelings is probably the dummest thing you could ever do because I always find out the truth whether intentionally or not, and that shit hurts way more. So if you’re my friend. Don’t lie to me.

[xavierplym]

87 and 135! imma go to work so have a lovely rest of your night bbs

first person i spoke to today; my dog lmao always say good morning when he jumps on my bed

dummest lie i’ve ever told; lmao wow theres so many i can’t even think of one 

not saying i lie a lot but if i dont want to go anywhere i say some stupid shit to get out of it xoxo

[hawker-the-gary]

Ok this will be the dummest thing I have ever asked but how about bettina levy and you? I know it's weird.

what? still with the shipping shit? Stop 

I am a PERSON, not a FICTIONAL character. 

[diary-of-a-mad-black-dragon]

So I just had the dummest add come up when I went to watch a youtube video.

Anyone familiar with PragerU.com? What the hell is their deal? Other than having a video guy I'd like to punch in the dick cause he's annoying.

There was literally a graphic where he was saying socialism can never work because it always leads to "takers" wanting to take things they haven't earned from the "makers" and the graphic showed two cartoon hippies on one side playing tug of war with a guy in scrubs (clearly a doctor) and a guy in a business suit?

And he talked a bunch about how historically "democtratic" socialism didn't work because some of them were dictators?

Is there a way I can make it so I never see an add for this shit on my youtube ever again?

#not d&d #prager university

[chairraeatingchicken]

What if the one that got away came back?

I’ve been seeing this everywhere for a while now and I feel like it’s a sign bc it relates closely to what’s been going on in my mind for a long time. I have replayed this question so many times in my head to the thought of it actually becoming a chance of fate and then I keep replaying it as if that person or me did cross paths again what will happen? But my mind never goes pass the part of actually believing it, it stops to where me and that person just stare at each other.

There are 3 parts that lead up to my answer

Pt 1. The early/mid 20’s is probably going to be the most growthful year’s along with depression. You learn about yourself from other poeple being in your life and then leaving you to be on yourself. You do so many self growths during this time and “find your self”. Before settling down in your 30’s the 20’s is the trial and error period on the dummest shit you do in life. What I’m trying to say is date, experience, and do what you think you should be doing now so you can take these L’s and turn them into lessons in the future so you don’t have time to redo it when your older because that would just be very stupid of you.

Pt 2. Don’t carry shit from the past. Learn how to forgive but not forget. Be better not bitter. Not only does this imply into the question, but this goes out through everything in your mind set. Holding grudges isn’t cool. Yeah that person fucked up... one day you’ll fuck up to. You’re mad now. BUT THAT SHIT WON’T MATTER IN A YEAR!

Pt 3. At the end of the fucking day ...AT THE END OF THE FUCKING WORLD. One of the many parts in life of why we are alive, living, and existing is to REPRODUCE! Sure many people can have sex and reproduce like that. But that ain’t it chief. Everyone wants to be love and give love. LEARN HOW TO FUCKING LOVE YOURSELF FIRST!!!!!! (What I mean by that is learn how to be independent and how to put your happiness first, why the fuck does someone get to control your emotion and ability of ‘love’) If you always love yourself first and put your happiness as a priority then what baggage are you bringing into the relationship? Does that make sense.

There is one person I do miss a lot. And if that person were to ever come back, I’d be really happy. I always play this scenario in my head so many times... The thoughts of “It’s been a long time, what if we out grew each other”, “bitch why are you even thinking of this ...this shit ain’t happening sis”, “It might not be the same love as it was back then”, “but he hurt you ...LIKE BITCH HE BROKE YOUR HEART REMEMBER THAT”, “There’s plenty of fishes in the sea”, “Your only thinking this bc you can’t move on”, “What about everyone else that has something to say about this” ...it goes on and on. And that’s why those 3 parts tie in to this final thing I’d like to say READ THE FUCKING QUESTION.... The one that got away ....and that person came back. Your lucky as fuck if you’ve already found your significant other! 04/05/19

[autisticbucktruther]

Dummest shit I’ve ever heard? Blonde Girl 1 says to redhead “I love calling people ginger” blonde girl 2 goes “we’re all a gender”

#my friends #my friends are so fucking dumb i love them tho #personal #not atla #feel free to rb

[couldntstopmyself]

I made a post about this previously I think but could you write something about Sarah and Bucky being the greatest in laws. Something like them planning a surprise for Sam or Sarah helping Bucky set up some sort of nice relax night because our best boy deserves the world. I’d love something like that from you :) 💗💙💕💟💝❣️

Oh yes they are the best in laws and definitely tag team to bully Sam

Sam loved that Bucky and Sarah were close. He didn’t love so much the fact that there was now two people who’s mission in life is to annoy him. And he really didn’t love that Bucky seemed to be spending more time with Sarah than him at the moment.

Monday: Bucky and Sam are with Sarah and the boys, and they’d just got back from a hike. It was nice but they were all sweaty and needed cool drinks and showers. However, when Sam suggested he and Bucky head back to theirs to get cleaned up, Bucky told him to go without him, he and Sarah were going to watch a movie they’d been talking about. Weird.

Tuesday: Sam and Bucky are down at the docks, making some repairs on the boat when Sarah came out. She handed them both beers and joined them, but Sam couldn’t help help notice her and Bucky whispering to each other. When he asks them about it, Bucky just laughs saying “jealous Sammy?” And slides closer to Sarah. The prick.

Wednesday: Sam wakes up and goes to snuggle closer to his boyfriend, but Bucky’s not their. He gets up to go find him but only finds a note that says: Gone to aerobics with Sarah, love you. Now Sam was really confused, Bucky and Sarah didn’t do aerobics, did they?

Thursday: Sam just wants a quiet day with his boyfriend. Cuddle, watch some movies, other stuff, ya know make the most of being alone and not having any missions. But Bucky says he can’t, told Sarah he’s help him with something, and Sam is pissed. He knows it’s not like Bucky would cheat on him, but why is he avoiding him and spending so much time with his sister? To make it worse, it’s Sam’s birthday tomorrow and Bucky seemed to have forgotten.

Friday: Okay, so Bucky hadn’t forgotten. Sam was woken up by kisses and cuddles and they were having a very enjoyable morning of food, presents and laughing. But when Bucky announces in the afternoon they have to go to Sarah’s Sam flips out. He just wanted to finally spend time with his boyfriend but Bucky’s just going to run off with Sarah again. When Bucky finally gets them to Sarah’s he’s fed up of Sam’s ranting but is trying to hold in his laughter. A giant tell of “surprise” greets them as Sam walks through the door and suddenly all the weird behaviour made sense.

Bucky and Sarah bully Sam mercilessly after the party, laughing about how jealous he was and how he couldn’t work out the very badly concealed party plan. “So there was no aerobics?” Sam laughed, amused at the idea that Bucky would ever bounce around a gym with old ladies. “Oh no, there definitely is” Bucky smirked “I’m going again next week.”

Send me asks / head cannons / tiny fic request /the dummest shit you can think of

#sambucky #tfatws #winterfalcon #mcu #bucky barnes #sam wilson #sambucky asks