#Day 1 of a full 30 days

[sweetdreamspootypie]

*scream*

(ventpost)

"you know you're getting a bit old for meeting people if you want kids"

WHO'S FAULT IS THAT?!

Who chose to raise us in the middle of the the fucking woods?!

Who actively deliberately isolated us from our ethnic community because you were embarrassed by how we were failures and your internalized self racism makes you think all brown men as skeevy and you specifically wanted to keep us away from them and put effort into achieving that and cutting us off from all community connection?

Who let me switch to correspondence school and study alone at home because I said I was bored, instead of giving a single solitary fuck about me and noticing I was obviously depressed?

Who raised us abstinence only to the point that any mixing with the 'opposite' sex was unacceptable?

Who actively shut down any attempt I made to develop or act on hobbies or personal interests, because the only think I should be doing is studying?

Do you think that somehow the negative effects of keeping kids at home only allowed to do schoolwork and chores and unable to drive unable to leave the house unable to get a job unable to engage in hobbies unable to engage in community unable to leave the house... somehow the negative effects only apply if you're deliberately doing it for patriarchal cult reasons?

Bitch managed to raise us fully traditional entirely by accident

With a good dash of learned helplessness with constant messaging that were incapable of managing to do anything or survive by ourselves

I've only been out the house for 3 years! And 2 of that was the last year of the degree and the first year of the job being a new grad Covid nurse in peak Covid!

I've only been able to breathe for one year!

I've had one year of freedom and I've been using it to learn how to be human for the first time!

And you've spent that year telling me to break up with everyone I happen to meet!

Don't fucking tell me I'm too old now

You were supposed to help me!

You knew I wanted kids! Why didn't you help me earlier!

You did everything you could to keep me isolated because you were projecting your own trust issues onto me and never stopped to think what effect that might have when you're raising someone!

Why does generational trauma have to be so mundane

#Vent post #Negativity #My posts #My life #Aka I have spent one single evening with my family #Day 1 of a full 30 days #Luckily I'll be with my dad not my mother #The way he doesn't care about me is a lot less sharp for me these days at least #He saves that all for not giving a shit about my sibling #I'm going on a quest to reconnect with my family and heritage #This is a great start #.... She's not wrong tbh #But it's still a sore spot #Haydn's parents bought me supplies for the hobbies I want to try #Ive wanted to do them for 10 years #But I've only just now got the freedom and support to start #I'm a beginner now at everything #But I'm starting. #I'm starting. #Just let me live. #Without making mundane things into stress. #Haydn's mum is so nice. #I know mine is stressed and has a hard life too #But she's miserable for the same reason I am #Right #Flight tomorrow #Gotta sleep #And think morw positive thoughts #My birthday just gone is the best one #Thank you for making me feel loved

[stuckinapril]

There will not be a single moment next week in which I’m not running around doing something

#full time studying / volunteering at the refugee center / volunteering at two clinics #literally ab to have a meeting ab shadowing a doctor who’s researching ftd dementia in like 50 minutes #organic chemistry research 5 days a week bc ur bitch is trying to get published #hitting the gym 6 days a week. I’ll probably have to move it to mornings soon #meal prep #trying to snag a lowkey part time job #trying to read 30 minutes before bed #somehow have 2 fit a social life into this #I’m excited bc I finally feel like my time budgeting abilities are being put to the test BUT holy fuck . #studying will be my no 1 priority always. literally catch me doing anki cards in any pocket of free time I have #but I better live up to the challenge of juggling everything else too #ik I got this. and these are all things im choosing to do. not things I have to do #and I love being busy so it’ll be so fun #just had to be in awe for a second bc I used to admire girls who’re like this. and I am officially about to be one of them #p

[jakowskis]

30 Torchwood Questions!

Can be used as an ask game, or as a 30 Days of Torchwood challenge! I’m doing the latter (more on that later) and created this for that purpose, but then I realized it would work as an ask game as well, so here you go!  Gwen bashers DNI!!! Everybody else, enjoy! 

1. How did you first get into Torchwood?

2. Who’s your favorite Torchwood member? (And if it’s not one of them, who’s your favorite character?) Why are they your favorite? Do you have any secondary favorites (maybe a one-off or minor character that really stuck with you)?

3. What’s your favorite episode(s)?

4. What’s your least favorite episode(s)?

5. What do you think, objectively, is the best episode of the show?

6. Favorite season/series? 

7. Do you have any all-time favorite scenes? You can bring up multiple - a well-written scene, a silly scene that makes you smile, a sad scene that makes you cry, maybe a scene that just sort of stuck with you… your choice!

8. Are there any scenes (or even full episodes) that you can’t stand? If yes, and you could go back in time and rewrite them, how would you fix them?

9. Are there any characters you dislike? Do you legitimately hate them, or do they just kind of irritate you? What would it take to make you like them?

10. Do you have a favorite cast member? If you’ve gotten into the behind the scenes end of the show at all, do you have a favorite cast moment or story (from bloopers, TW Declassified, convention panels, etc)?

11. Do you have a favorite track from the score? Maybe the soundtrack?

12. Favorite location in the Hub? 

13. Favorite ship(s)? Any Torchwood OTPs? Go ahead, gush about them!

14. Favorite friendship(s)?

15. Are there any ships you dislike?

16. Have you read Torchwood fic? If so, any all-time favorites?

17. Favorite kiss in the show? What was so special about it? If kisses don’t do it for you, were there any other scenes that stood out as particularly sexy and/or romantic?

18. Who would you say had the best character development? Who do you wish got more? 

19. Would you recommend the show to people? If you would, would you feel the need to include disclaimers in your pitch? Any particular scenes you’d want to warn them about first? 

20. Discuss Jack. Opinions? Favorite moment? Least favorite moment? Any unpopular opinions? Any fun headcanons?

21. Discuss Gwen. Opinions? Favorite moment? Least favorite moment? Any unpopular opinions? Any fun headcanons? 

22. Discuss Owen. Opinions? Favorite moment? Least favorite moment? Any unpopular opinions? Any fun headcanons?

23. Discuss Tosh. Opinions? Favorite moment? Least favorite moment? Any unpopular opinions? Any fun headcanons?

24. Discuss Ianto. Opinions? Favorite moment? Least favorite moment? Any unpopular opinions? Any fun headcanons?

25. Now that we know how you feel; shag, marry, cliff / fuck, marry, kill the team! (If you feel comfortable doing so, of course.)

26. Do you have a favorite antagonist? 

27. This is a sci-fi show, after all… any favorite aliens? Favorite gadgets, maybe? 

28. Do you like how tragic Torchwood is, or do you wish it was more light-hearted? Do you think the ‘dark and adult themes’ were explored sufficiently? 

29. Do you have a favorite quote? Serious or silly, or both! Maybe a favorite quip / exchange?

30. Why, overall, do you love Torchwood?

#torchwood #mine #txt #don't send me any please! like i said im gonna do a 30 days of tw thing so im filling em all out anyway fsdkfj #btw some notes on this #1) sorry it's written by an american. writing favorite without the u next to something torchwood related felt wrong fhdsjfkdsh #but i wasnt about to fake it thatd be cringe FKSJDF so. shrug #2) i didn't do bullet points so it would be more spaced out bc i have adhd and closely spaced shit is annoying to read #so sorry it's a like. lengthier post bc of that but. hopefully some of yall might appreciate that too. i hate clumped text fhsdkjfd #3) i can't take full credit for this! i saw one of these on LJ from 2010 and saved it ages ago #but i didn't like all the questions so i heavilyyy remade it #ok thts all. like i said ill post more info on what im doin in a second #torchwood posting #tdot

[wen-kexing-apologist]

Having stayed up past my bedtime to finish Episode 7 of Twenty Five- Twenty One I would liked to take a moment to say:

Fuck you@lurkingshan for recommending this stupid fucking fencing show that keeps making me super fucking emotional in a vicious, endless cycle! How dare you make me sob in my living room at one am over a fucking referee call! I thought we were friends, how could you do this to me?!?! Do you harbor any guilt whatsoever knowing that I cried through all three of the episodes that I watched today!!

^Look at my beloved girl, look at her sobbing in the street. This is me, on my couch, right now. Look at what you have done to me!

Anyway, it may not be a BL but I do think everyone should watch Twenty Five Twenty One it is fantastic so far and it making my heart so full.

#this show is so good #the fencing is legitimate as well which makes me all the more emo #because on top of the actual emotions the show drags you through #I have done a bit of sword fighting in my day and those bout moments- the really impressive touches; the blade breaking; the contested call #i feel those so hard you don't even know #anyway this show makes me cry so much #which of course means everyone should watch it #shout out to shan for the recommendation #she was (once again and as always) right about this show #twenty five twenty one #twenty-five twenty-one #2521 #25 21 #Full disclosure I changed my tumblr profile picture to Hee-do 15-30 minutes in to Episode 1 because I knew I was gonna fall in love with he #and I was so incredibly correct #no regrets no hesitation i made the right call with that pfp

[sunflowersolace]

hey guys did you know that s1 e20 is the first and only time garcia ever calls hotch by his first name

#around 32:30 #'aaron do you have any idea how many people drown every day' #it's not in the hulu subtitles bc hulu subs are shit but i heard it i know it's there #i don't typically watch seasons 1-3 but this episode is just chock full of good garcia and hotch dialogue #i think they had garcia as a character only a little bit figured out so they had her as flirty and sassy and gave her good quips but you ca #tell they didn't quite have her pep and spunk down yet. that and her relationship with morgan. #i think shes spoken to him maybe once this episode #but this is just a very morgan-light episode in general #anyways time for the actual tags #criminal minds #penelope garcia #aaron hotchner

[leviiackrman]

Ladies and gentlemen and everyone in between, I can wholeheartedly confirm that:

Margot Durand in fact, has a happy ending.

#personal* #jess talks #oc: margot durand #jess watches aot #aot spoilers #you favourite show ending forever is such a weird feeling #like I’m so numb rn #but omg I’ve cried a whole bathtub full of tears #I’m so unbelievably happy you have no idea #I knew how it ended but seeing it animated hits so different😩 #and anyone who bitches or moans about it clearly never understood the story #but you guys!!! #I can finally finalise margots story!!! #she DOES get a happy ending!! it’s not just AU stuff!!! #I’ve never been so happy to see my boy in a wheelchair too honestly #like that any day over the alternative #and erens whole convo with Armin??? broke me. #having said that I was crying within the first minute so I mean… it’s been a long 1 hour 30 mins of crying #everything mikasa/eren related just… has taken over my brain #GOD I LOVE THEM😩😩😩 #if fuckin only #brb need to get some air and cry more

[crplpunkklavier]

ooh! you have a collection of musical instruments???? thats so awesome! do you wanna maybe show off because instruments are really cool-

yes!! omg thank u for asking i never get to show them off

(1) my grandma's old mandolin (2) a djembe i honestly don't remember getting. i've had it since i was a teenager though (3) special tloz edition genuine ocarina (4) fleamarket melodica (5) liddle harmonica that was so cheap that i have two of these somehow (6) NOSE FLUTE which is the funniest instrument. you can get these for like €1 (7) my mom's old recorder

now for the string section, plus one honorary guest, because all the following instruments happen to have names

on the top are the girlfriends :) i bought my BEAUTIFUL showstopping incredible matte black electric guitar off of a guy on ebay who had already named her mina, so when i got my bass guitar (also off ebay) to be mina's huge girlfriend i named her lucy. my acoustic western is called oscar because i literally dug him out of someone else's trash. (its a sesame street reference.) the electric violin i somehow convinced my parents to gift me as a teen was named quincy by gc, the accordion's name is van helsing. :) (the accordion is from a fleamarket and presently only half of the keys work) (im sorry about the bow dear violinists im sorry im sorry i havent touched it in ages im looking to get it replaced soon im sorry)

i don't necessarily count my piano and my e-drumset toward my collection, because i am actually proficient in them and like. need them to live lol. but here they are anyway:

not pictured is my acoustic drumset, which is disassembled in the basement, because i currently live in an apartment and cant play it here. i probably should bring myself to just sell it, but i cant. :( my parents got it at aldi (yep) when i was like 5, and it was my brother's for the next 10 years, until i took over, and it's been with me ever since. i added a few cymbals with my own pocket money back then too because my brother and aldi are basic bitches and i wanted to rock out. so..... idk. ill lug that thing around with me until the day i die

bonus: last year i got a 3/4 guitar for free off ebay because the neck was broken, so i turned the head into a keyholder and the body into a menorah

#phantommarigold #:] <3333 #this makes me look much richer than i am lol #full transparency: i paid €70 for mina; €30 for lucy; €100 for the drumset #i THINK the ocarina was €50? but its genuinely like 16 years old #my personal rule for the instrument collection these days is that they have to be 1) used and 2) cheap #i splurged on the guitar because im actually learning to play it #AND YEAH SOMEONE SOLD A FULLY FUNCTIONAL BASS GUITAR FOR 30 BUCKS. bonkers. i love ebay #anyway. #url checks out #i promise im not larping klavier gavin ive only known him for a year and i have always been like this

[rutilated-quarz]

QUARTZ YOU GOT INTO ISAT????

YESSSSSS I DID SUPER RECENTLYYY I bought it on steam like a week or 2 ago I think ? So I played it mostly blind and HOOOOUPOUUUUHH it's ruined/ruining me emotionallyyyy <3 in the middle of trying to convince my friends to play it or at least watch a playthrough bc I cannot be so autistically obsessed with those fuckers alone

#good god i cannot wait for the next part of the jelloapocalypse crews playthru of it their voice acting goes SO HARD #and i know when they get to the ending its gonna make me ugly cry<3 #i did my full first playthrough over the span of like 2 and a half days during which i did nothing else #anyway its like 1:30 am for me so i gotta sleep but we should defo talk in dms something or over discord or something idk i get nervys </3

[inkstainedhandswithrings]

everyone: barbenheimer💣💕🔪🌺🖤💞

movie theater employees, on this, the opening weekend:

#I came in early yesterday #my manger said that meant I could leave early #I left 15mins before we closed #So not early #it was like a 9 1/2 hour shift #the line from the concession wrapped around the cash register on the other side of the foyer #we ran out of the barbie popcorn boxes on DAY ONE #(people were yelling about it too) #(like it's the fault of the underplayed hungover 20 year old who's giving you the popcorn) #the trash was picked up two days ago #the garbage room is already full again #we added an IMAX for 1pm Friday on Thursday. on Friday on 12:30 we had like... 20 out of 365 seats left #maybe less #anyway #I'm on day 2 of this madness and I'm ready to keel over and die on the floor of storage room three (IT'S EMPTY ANYWAY) #thank you for listening imma go back to work now #barbenheimer #oppenheimer #barbie

[muirneach]

my semester ends at the end of this month so as soon as i go back tomorrow we start finals season. not ideal. but im actually really really sad that the semester is almost over because for the first time in so many years ive been really excited to be at school because of my woodshop class. like yes ive been more miserable than ever (arguably) yes i have zero friends and yes god i hate my english class so much and i cant wait to leave it behind. but… what am i gonna do without shop? truthfully its my only class where i feel a semblance of belonging and a inkling of friendship with most of the people in it because its a very small class. and i love my teacher. and its like directly related to everything i love because its got agriculture and forestry and aquaculture etc etc. man :( but next semester is my last semester of high school ever!! which is so excitingggg. i keep telling myself next semester will rule specifically because i get to take a sewing and pattern drafting college course which i AM pumped about 🙏

#oh this was rambly. yep 1 30am probably time to go to bed!! #ugh next semester im not starting at 10:30 anymore this is gonna suckkkk #i was soo enjoying my schedule this semester i literally had two classes and left at 2 most days.. #throwback to when i had an online internship and left school at 11:40 every day… miss that sm #i have a full four classes next semester LAMEEE. but im probably gonna drop one cause idgaf i like leaving early #idk which one yet. im gonna wait and see which i hate most lol

[isthisjackie]

Somehow, I am once again At My Limit

#personal #once again #a brand new stressor has appeared #they told us they want us to start working one day in office a week #even though we were told it would be exclusively remote #and don’t get any of the benefits of full time people #even though I’ve been there 2 1/2 years #we don’t get paid holidays or any PTO or sick time #we also have to work 30 min longer each day #i am at my fucking limit #my back has been so bad lately #I have to find ways to manage my stress levels #I’m worried I’m gonna start like losing my hair or something

[possiblytracker]

being back on meds is the best thing to happen to me so far this year but i forgot abt the appetite suppression again and now my 2 meals a day are routinely happening at, like, 5pm and 2am

#went to the 24hr corner store at 1:30 the other day and it was full of drunk people and 2 of them knew me from class? #im just there. in my pyjamas and winter coat. buying a meal deal and pot noodles for tomorrow. and im Recognised #scared the Fuck out ofme but they complimented me on my slippers and told me to get home safe..

[transgaysex]

laying down feels fucking sexual after moving heavy shit around for 5 hours in a row

#wind howls #im in a considerable amount of pain. i do not miss this feeling from my days of cashieering #i wasnt even moving heavy shit around then... just standing for like 8 hours in a row in the same spot #being on the move actually made the pain lessen a bit. i felt a lot more pain at the end when i was just standing there instead of walking #i thought we were only gonna be like 4 people moving half a warehouse filled with bottled water but like 5 others joined us #and that was for loading the uhaul ! considerably more taxing than emptying it #but thankfully for the emptying we were like 11 people because 1 left but 3 more joined us #and oh my god i cannot begin to describe how fucking delectable a veggie pizza tastes after moving shit around for 4 hours. #it was fucking nectar from the gods. and im mostly indifferent when it comes to pizza #anyway. i actually found it all to be fun. most of the stuff we were given is going to the refugee center we tend to donate it all to #we didnt just get water ! we got like. at least 30 full black bags of new clothes that well be able to give away #bunch of food. tons of utilities. lots of good stuffs thatll help people greatly #it feels good !! #i hope im able to continue this kind of volunteering work way after im moved out. it does feel fulfilling even if its so so so tiring #my body is screaming at me forever. laying down feels fucking awesome

[stabbingandorbeingstabbed]

in mental anguish bc i had two days off in a row and big ideas about cleaning my room or my car or accomplishing literally anything in that time but guess who has been in bed for 2 days instead of doing any of that <3

#like i could even get up and clean my room right now i'm physically capable of it #and it's only 1 am which is like my 7 pm #but if i started trying to put shit away where would i put it everything is full #cleaning my room just involves moving shit from one entirely covered surface to another entirely covered surface it's just like #too overwhelming and stressful i need to take my laptop and a few shirts and just light everything else on fire or st like i can't do this #what i really need to do is like ask for 3 days off or something and just go through and like #ruthlessly get rid of the junk i've been accumulating in this fucking room for the last 30 years

[orcelito]

😐

I have 7 interviews set up & an 8th prospective one I'm waiting for confirmation on

This. Sure is my life.

#speculation nation #HOW DID IT END UP LIKE THIS. THIS IS SO MANY PEOPLE #im gonna have to print all these resumes today bc jdkshfkd #five confirmed for tomorrow... 6th prospective... with 2 scheduled for wednesday #simply bc i am just straight up running out of times i can do interviews at tomorrow lmfao #1:30. 2. 2:30(prospective). 3. 3:30. 4. FULL day of interviews. #i got free time from 1-5 so In theory i have a 4:30 slot too but lmao #dont wanna schedule too many for wednesday bc i am on shift then. just with an employee who can make drinks #so theres a Lil bit of wiggle room. i dont wanna leave him to deal with the store completely by himself tho lol #i'll also b there thursday but that is for boba & thats smth itd b better to not interrupt #gonna show up to the manager meeting like 'whatup ive been avoiding this for weeks but now i have 7 interviews in the coming days' #i will not mention the avoiding. i have been avoiding mentioning the avoiding. such is the nature of avoiding. #ANYWAYS relatively chill day today. & i need it. bc Hoo boy.. tomorrow... will be full.

[evolution-loves-crabs]

I crave two things and two things only and those are academic approval and boba tea

#It’s 1:30 AM #after a full day of nonstop classes and research #I was writing my thesis #and cuddling my cat #knowing full well #I have class again tomorrow 8AM #and should probably have already submitted my thesis #oh well that’s postgrad life for you #science side of tumblr #scienceblr #? #that’s a thing right? #studyblr