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richincolor · 3 years

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Fall TBR Pile

Summer is wrapping up for me (sigh), but that doesn't mean my summer TBR pile is going away. It's just transforming into my fall TBR pile, and of course, it's also a mile long. Here's what's at the very top of that list for September and October (if we're talking November, Our Violent Ends is #1 on my must-read-holy-crap-ahhhhh list):

A Clash of Steel: A Treasure Island Remix (Remixed Classics #1) by C.B. Lee [Out September 7]

Two intrepid girls hunt for a legendary treasure on the deadly high seas in this YA remix of the classic adventure novel Treasure Island.

1826. The sun is setting on the golden age of piracy, and the legendary Dragon Fleet, the scourge of the South China Sea, is no more. Its ruthless leader, a woman known only as the Head of the Dragon, is now only a story, like the ones Xiang has grown up with all her life. She desperately wants to prove her worth, especially to her mother, a shrewd business woman who never seems to have enough time for Xiang. Her father is also only a story, dead at sea before Xiang was born. Her only memento of him is a pendant she always wears, a simple but plain piece of gold jewelry.

But the pendant's true nature is revealed when a mysterious girl named Anh steals it, only to return it to Xiang in exchange for her help in decoding the tiny map scroll hidden inside. The revelation that Xiang's father sailed with the Dragon Fleet and tucked away this secret changes everything. Rumor has it that the legendary Head of the Dragon had one last treasure—the plunder of a thousand ports — that for decades has only been a myth, a fool's journey. Xiang is convinced this map could lead to the fabled treasure. Captivated with the thrill of adventure, she joins Anh and her motley crew off in pursuit of the island. But the girls soon find that the sea—and especially those who sail it—are far more dangerous than the legends led them to believe. [Image and summary via Goodreads]

White Smoke by Tiffany D. Jackson [Out September 14]

The Haunting of Hill House meets Get Out in this chilling YA psychological thriller and modern take on the classic haunted house story from New York Times bestselling author Tiffany D. Jackson!

Marigold is running from ghosts. The phantoms of her old life keep haunting her, but a move with her newly blended family from their small California beach town to the embattled Midwestern city of Cedarville might be the fresh start she needs. Her mom has accepted a new job with the Sterling Foundation that comes with a free house, one that Mari now has to share with her bratty ten-year-old stepsister, Piper.

The renovated picture-perfect home on Maple Street, sitting between dilapidated houses, surrounded by wary neighbors has its . . . secrets. That’s only half the problem: household items vanish, doors open on their own, lights turn off, shadows walk past rooms, voices can be heard in the walls, and there’s a foul smell seeping through the vents only Mari seems to notice. Worse: Piper keeps talking about a friend who wants Mari gone.

But “running from ghosts” is just a metaphor, right? As the house closes in, Mari learns that the danger isn’t limited to Maple Street. Cedarville has its secrets, too. And secrets always find their way through the cracks. [Image and summary via Goodreads]

Jade Fire Gold by June C.L. Tan [Out October 12]

Girls of Paper and Fire meets The Tiger at Midnight in June CL Tan’s stunning debut, inspired by Chinese mythology, with rich magic and an epic slow-burn romance.

In an empire on the brink of war . . . Ahn is no one, with no past and no family. Altan is a lost heir, his future stolen away as a child.

When they meet, Altan sees in Ahn a path to reclaiming the throne. Ahn sees a way to finally unlock her past and understand her arcane magical abilities. But they may have to pay a far deadlier price than either could have imagined. Ferocious action, shadowy intrigue, and a captivating romance collide in June CL Tan’s debut, a stunning homage to the Xianxia novel with a tender, beating heart, perfect for fans of The Bone Witch and We Hunt the Flame. [Image and summary via Goodreads]

So what's at the top of your TBR pile for the next season? Share with us!

#a clash of steel #jade fire gold #white smoke #fall tbr pile

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alaskatalks · 3 years

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Abuse in the Youtube Vlogging Community — My Experiences

Note 07/07/2021: My original posting was removed by unknown so this will now live here. Please be aware of the content warnings.

Apr 26·14 min read

2012–2018

CW Mention of; Suicide, Assault, Blood, Rape, Deceased Person(s)/‘Suicide Forest Video’

I’m writing this statement to not only provide background on the toxic and abusive culture of the community at the time but to support the multiple other people who have recently come forward detailing abuse from within the UK vlogging Youtube community, and to finally talk about these incidents publicly after carrying them for so long alone.

As I am writing this, one of those mentioned has contacted several mutual acquaintances to stop me from sharing my own story to those people privately,then when they and I didn’t, this person quickly began to smear my name. Because of this I want to begin with some basic background and thoughts which will be most likely be used/twisted in the coming days/weeks by those I mention.

I will only be discussing physically abusive events I was personally privy to but to keep this specific I will be omitting the many micro and macro-aggressions I experienced as usually the only black mixed/non-white and working-class individual in the room/group. It was clear to me quickly that if you were an “other” in certain ways, you’d be open to mockery, namely also if you were working class or lacking financially, I’d heard Chris repeatedly make remarks and mean comments behind the backs of his own guests/friends at various events and parties in his own home in addition to others making similar comments. Because I appeared white passing that time especially; I made my heritage/ethnicity explicitly clear when it first began as a failed attempt to minimize racial remarks around me and then from then on, kept my private life private from many in the group. I learned quickly to ignore a lot directed at me — as I was younger and possessed no media industry contacts or clout/followers at the time, I had to accept my place in this kind of mostly elitist clique/working environment as the only way to continue working with the people I looked up to.

I met everyone personally and got into the community when I was 16/17 after being a fan for many years, contacting CB via post and then emailing him, I wanted to get into television eventually and thought working with YouTube vloggers I looked up to would be a great first step in that direction. Everything detailed below I had previously tried to discuss with those involved privately, but was unsupported and thrown away both professionally and personally.

Rachel

I want to talk briefly about Rachel as I was around just before she joined the general group so was witness to a lot of things. I have spoken to Rachel privately but want to share the frustration and bitterness I feel and felt publicly. Please read her statement via twitter for their story. (In addition to addressing the dangerously hypercritical individuals I have seen crawling out of the woodwork to send her empty public displays of ‘support’ whilst in the past they contributed heavily to the environment which fostered abuse or carried it out themselves.)

The first few times I met Rachel it was at different pubs, and so I had always assumed that she was at least 18 on joining the general group, I was also told (unprompted) about her familial connections within the media/television industry — something that I now believe contributed to many of the youtubers mentioned overlooking basic welfare issues and red flags, and instead thinking of furthering their careers. I spent close to a year trying to help as I could see certain red flags in her ‘relationship’ with JSL, him struggling very heavily and publicly with alcoholism at the time, and Rachel seemingly struggling also. I made my concerns known repeatedly because I was worried, having myself suffered from various abuse from a young age I instinctively wanted to help.

However, close friends of Rachel herself and others, namely Bown, sent me the repeated and clear message that I was “in the way”, this was a message Bown kept telling me once he was living with JSL, who I had begun seeing months prior to Rachel meeting him. I was told by them that my concern was only jealousy and experienced an abundance of side eyes, verbal abuse, bad mouthing, and gossip — I was just a ‘jealous bitch’ in many eyes. (This all despite me being polyamorous with my primary partner from before dating JSL to this current day) I continued to help Rachel whenever I saw her in person before ending things with JSL and distancing myself because not only was I incredibly uncomfortable dating someone who was in a unhealthy situation, but I was very selfishly fed up receiving so much hate when I did speak my mind on the subject. In hindsight, especially after finding out recently that Bown was aware of Rachel’s age, I wish I’d have stuck around.

Rachel is incredible and I hope the following can contribute in some way to validating all those who were victimized by these same people in addition to others with similar stories. For Rachel’s full statement please read it on her Twitter in its entirety @rachelkiki_

Beginning with MT, I had been a huge fan of The Man Time Podcast and The Fratocrats for years before so on meeting him at a party for the first time at C.B’s place, I was excited to talk to him, however, as soon as he found out I had a partner (literally the first thing he asked/said to me after hello) he walked away from me and didn’t interact with me in any way for the rest of the party. A few months later when I was single we slept together for the first time, halfway through he held my wrists down suddenly and just as I thought he was going to kiss me he instead spat in my mouth. I did not ask for, nor want this and reacted as negatively as you’d expect, then feeling incredibly uncomfortable made some excuses and tried to stop things physically.

It was a little while later I found out that he had spoken to a group of very popular youtubers, one of whom was Tom. I found out that not only did MT “report back” to these youtubers detailing a story about how we had had sex and I was in fact, horrendous at it, but hearing about it from C.B. in the form of the question whilst he smiled jokingly “Is this true?” was not only super inappropriate but humiliating.

These were people I had looked up to for years and really wanted to work within the future, but now that seemed like it wouldn’t happen, especially if I ‘made a fuss’. MT wanted to meet up with me at a later point (once I’d confronted him repeatedly afterwards) though when we met it was clear he just wanted to have more sex and the half assed ‘apology’ was more tokenistic. He was sorry “If” anything he did upset me. Because of my own previous trauma (and low self-esteem admittedly) I thought the only way to redeem my reputation would be to continue to see him — I thought if others knew or saw us flirting casually even, it would negate his rumors. This obviously didn’t help and the damage had been done.

Tom*

Shortly after that, whilst on a work trip with CB and others, Tom approached me at a bar and asked me for a photo, I thought it was odd but perhaps he was just being friendly. I was a big fan of Eddsworld so I was okay with it, he took a photo of us both, making sure I smiled and then sent it to MT who was sitting a few tables away in our group as a further way to humiliate me. I spoke about it with some of the others privately after being laughed at, who seemed used to that kind of behavior. I just needed to get used to it and/or “lighten up” so I tried to remain professional and focused, though it seemed more and more like certain people viewed me as disposable entertainment almost, rather than a person.

*I do want to note, as of writing this today, Tom is the only person to reach out to genuinely apologise, which I highly appreciate.

Bown

I could fill multiple pages with the amount of racial charged, sexist and abusive things Bown has done and/or said to me, for example, he berated me the day I got my first big television job, calling me stupid, useless and implying I was only hired because of my ethnicity. He almost always sent his hate via text or instant messaging, I mention that because he commonly expressed all his negativity behind a screen, then in person, he would do a lot of gaslighting. When drunk at his worst, his understanding of the word no became non-existent when I would repeatedly ask not to be touched or requested space.

On one occasion when I had made clear it was a platonic hang, we were watching a film when he suddenly reached over and pressed his fingers into my breasts. I felt instantly violated, I froze for a few seconds and then pulled my shirt up to cover more of my chest/create a visual barrier. I said don’t/stop and continued watching the film. In shock — we weren’t even touching or hugging before- that but he nonetheless did it again and laughed as if it was some kind of game. I made it very clear I was not interested and did not like what he had done. This repeated when he was drunk and said he wanted to apologise, it was at a party which wasn’t the time nor place for that kind of conversation, then, with me saying so then no multiple times, he kept grabbing my waist, then arms and shoulders, refusing to give me the space I was requesting.

There was a lot of disrespect and ugliness I experienced from my first experience ‘working’ (unpaid at first and then at or under minimum wage afterwards) to present but again, I’m only discussing the physical stuff. The first physical time he hurt me was when on tour sharing a room (due to a lack of space as we were out of London) I was sharing with JSL on the floor and Bing had the bed alone. I was awoken in the early hours of the morning to a small piece of metal (which turned out to be a zip as I recall) from a pillow, hitting me hard. I was confused and so thought it was an accident — I assumed the pillow had fallen off the bed by mistake so reached over and put it back on Bing’s bed before going back to sleep. I was then awoken repeatedly by Bing’s hand hitting me in my face hard and repeatedly, though I tried to turn around with my back to him, I then experienced the same but on the back of my head, and my hair being pulled. He had thought the very loud snoring which was waking him up was me, but it was in fact JSL (most who have lived with him or slept in close corners knows he can be a snorer) the next morning I woke having a panic attack which I dealt with before asking him why he did that as it really hurt, he replied that I was snoring but when I told him of the mistake he just looked at me funnily and that was that. No apology ever appeared.

The worst experience I had with him was at his house during a party; it was winding down and I could sense him rushing people out the room in a hushed tone; I was looking at his bookcase, filled with cd’s at the time. On hearing the hushed tones I could sense something was wrong/odd and looked around to find myself suddenly alone in his room. I said a quick sorry, that I didn’t realise and will go join everyone else upstairs if he wants to sleep, he said it was no problem and I should have a drink before bed with him. I was content looking at the cds and before I could answer he brought me a cup and poured out a drink for me (clearly over pouring). I had just eyed a specific CD from my all-time favourite band (they were very niche at the time) and exclaimed in joy before showing it to him, he responded that a fan had sent it to him, I laughed because I was that fan, I had included the CD in a fan letter I sent to him years back. He was giving me a really odd look and then as I said ‘anyway,’ laughing in that british ‘I should get going’ kind of way.

He grabbed the CD before putting it on and pulling me towards the bed. We were sitting side by side and as soon as he grabbed me towards the bed I gave a nervous laugh saying something along the lines of ‘no, I don’t’ when he interrupted me to say it’s all fine, just one song and I need to drink, pushing my cup up which I’d been holding with both hands motionlessly since he gave it to me. As soon as I took a sip, he put his hand on my waist, I kept protesting as he pushed more towards then against me and repeated things like “It’s no big deal” and “It will be fast” ignoring my physical resistance and me audibly saying I did not want to. He placed his hand on mine and pulled it towards his groin area — this was when I finally stopped freezing and pulled away forcibly, I then sat up off the bed and made a beeline for the door — apologizing as I went. As soon as I was on the other side of the door I burst out crying and having a severe panic attack, I muffled the noise and went upstairs where I knew others were sleeping before I couldn’t keep quiet. I cannot remember who else was upstairs but there were multiple people (at least 5) sleeping in various places, I woke up quite a few before being calmed down and going to sleep. He hired me one last time after that as a producer.

H H S

H.H.S is the long time editor of the Paul brothers, he’s worked with many large youtubers and was one of (if not the main) editor of now notorious Logan Paul’s “Suicide Forest Video”,– the following happened around that time for context and is one of the biggest catalysts in my completely giving up on working within the YouTube vlogging sphere. H.H.S had been lightly dragged on his Facebook by friends on a post where he apologized for the Logan Paul video he responded with a fundraiser event post (both this, and the fundraiser have since been deleted) the fundraiser itself was to a suicide prevention charity, although he created it, he hadn’t and didn’t invite anyone directly to it — in hindsight, it’s clear it was just lazy personal pr. I had my own mental health and neurological episode and had attempted to take my own life a little before, so I had created an event with friends to celebrate being alive and beginning new/better things. Not many could come on short notice, though H.H.S was the first (and only) person to click ‘attending’ on the event page, which he did very quickly once I sent out invites.

He never was overly kind or supportive emotionally, so I thought that because of the amount of mutual colleagues, close friends and vloggers invited he would look very crass not to come. I was upset that many couldn’t make it and drank far too much, though I could Just about walk by the time we left the bar — the last 4 of us decided to head back to H.H.S to drink and hang out more as a group. I was meant to text my friend and her partner the address whilst they went home quickly to grab a coat as they lived nearish. H.H.S helped me into the cab and we made our way to his place, it’s then he put his hand behind the seat and began touching my leg. I thought he had a partner at the time and so was confused as he mentioned her earlier in the night, I asked him about this roughly over drinks at his house (which he poured himself) and he said it was fine, I accepted this as I was very drunk by this time and being ethically non-monogamous at the time; I assumed naively that they talked before this. I don’t remember what happened after this until later, I know that I was so drunk I completely forgot to ask H.H.S again for the address, let alone that I had to contact my friend at all.

I remember roughly that things seemed to me above board, but then I experienced a huge amount of pain as he had pushed me onto my front and put his entire weight onto me, I started to say stop, and no as he put more weight onto me and was trying to enter me anally. I told him to stop and that it hurt (he had done this before to me but stopped after a few seconds of me saying no and we discussed how it wasn’t okay with me especially without prior consent so I didn’t expect this). He then put his weight further on me so I was prone and continued for several minutes, I managed to move my body so it wouldn’t hurt as much, though by this point I was stuck under his weight and could barely breathe. Once he had “finished” he got off of me and said something about how this was a good “purge” for him but he loves his girlfriend and so should sleep in the living room. I was in total shock as he just exited the room.

I had no way of getting home by myself and triggered , drunk and confused I went to sleep. I woke up to H.H.S typing away on his computer next to my bed and I shouted “bucket” multiple times so he ran and got me one which I then projectile vomited into. I apologized and went to the bathroom to continue throwing up before heading back to his bedroom to find my things and get home. As I was doing this I asked about the video, he wasn’t talking otherwise and I was extremely uncomfortable trying to hold back a panic attack and further barfing. I waited for my taxi to come as he confirmed everything about the video that I had expected, he boasted about being the main editor of that video, how it was his idea to blur the body, how they wanted more views and they (him and Logan Paul) obviously didn’t care genuinely for anything to do with suicide prevention — this was after excusing various racist acts and remarks made by Logan.

H.H.S didn’t contact me for a full week after this incident, when I got home I discovered I was bleeding from his forced entry, and went into another panic attack. I tried to contact Bing, who had introduced me to him in the first place, when I was met with a barrage of blame. He told me a lot of things like ‘What did you expect?’, ‘That’s on you’ and on me beginning to cry and get emotional, he quickly started to distance himself saying that we aren’t “really friends” anymore, and further slut shaming. I wanted help and was rejected, not only by him but the few others also who I contacted. I figured if my friends would not help me, why would the Police believe me?

I reached out to H.H.S privately but was ignored, he read my messages but did not respond, though remained friends with me on facebook. He now has his own channel with 134k subscribers and won a Streamy Award for his editing work with Logan Paul. If you’ve read all of this, thank you sincerely. I’ve carried this for far too long alone, every time I heard of the people involved and even the Paul brothers names, things just came rushing back violently. After being rejected by so many I believed to be my friends, I decided I shouldn’t come out publicly at the time as I thought no one would believe me, that in addition to the fact that I valued the content they created to such a vast degree that I thought it more important to keep quiet.

Thanks to a sadly long list of brave people, I now know that I matter and so does my voice. I hope that with this, I can finally begin to let all these incidents go and know I appreciate every single person who has been an ally and/or spoke their own truths.

#MeToo #BlackLivesMatter #StopAisanHate

Alaska Harrison

#metoo #blacklivesmatter #youtube #abuse

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mr-face-both-ways · 4 years

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Stex Appreciation Day 5: Dinah!

Hey Dinah what’s wrong, come on girl why you crying?? I drew a happy dinah recently so sad dinah it is questions answered under the cut :D

Fave song: Love everything that she’s in but im gonna give credit to That Was Unfair and Dinah’s Disco as (cheap digs at Electra aside) its nice seeing her stand up for herself and what she believes in!!

Fave actor: Abigail Dever! She was so fun and cute! I also liked Michelle Escano and Darlene Casanova! Also from what i’ve seen Rose Ouellette seems really fun!

Fave ship: Dinah/Love and Happiness lol but platonic/brotp dinah/c.b. has my whole heart ((and im intrigued by dinah/pearl)) but for real i think she needs some time to build herself back up before having another relationship

Fave thing: The fact that at her core she’s a good and gentle person and will speak out against things she thinks are wrong even when everyone’s always telling her to shut up and that her feelings don’t matter. And the fact that she’s sensitive and cries when things are too much for her, damn that’s relatable lol

Random headcanon: I like to think that the following year she decides to become a race marshal so she has some power to keep the races fair, and because both engines and wagons race there should be at least one wagon race marshal to make sure things are safe from their perspective. Also after the musical her and GB have a long chat and decide its best for the both of them to break up, there were too many issues that “S.O.R.R.R.Y” can’t fix and they part on somewhat amiable terms.

Unpopular headcanon: Ok im not a big fan of the rewrites (tho i haven’t seen the updated show in germany yet so im going off of the workshop and from what i’ve seen) but i just don’t understand what they’re going for with her. To me it seems kinda akin to the disney remakes where they’re super aware of common criticisms of the originals but they think that just by acknowledging it that fixes the problem it kinda...doesn’t??? Instead it just feels weird and forced, especially when the original story beats continue but unchallenged?? Like ok, make dinah empowered and standing up for herself, she’s got herself and she doesn’t need and engine, especially one who thinks that they’re just there to be pulled so why exactly is she dating GB in this case?? He’s still an absolute arse so what exactly is appealing about him to this new dinah?? And then to sing uncoupled after he dumps her, where all the lyrics are still about how she thinks she’s “shamed” him or if there was something wrong with her, ignoring the fact that GB’s the one with all the issues!! Dinah did nothing wrong!! and then to not have girl’s rolling stock (which they’d only just fixed, love that they removed one of the few female-led songs in the show, go girl power ¬_¬), go with electra because she doesn’t want to be alone, uncouple him and be confident again and then go running back to GB still not really challenging his actions and taking him back instantly. Like its such a mishmash of the old show and this new show but instead of having a character arch that makes sense but has issues (loves GB but is very submissive towards him, stands up for herself but also doesn’t want to be alone or without him, gets confided by her friends that she’s not alone and that she too is rolling stock and can get what she wants and then does (even if that means getting a problematic boyfriend). Now it seems like where she’s at is all over the chart and isn’t all that cohesive, which is a shame because from what i’ve seen Rose Ouellette is super charming and fun! And in my opinion the old characterisation could’ve worked, if girl’s rolling stock (or the space between that and purse/killerwatt arriving) was used to acknowledge that its kinda messed up for dinah to blame herself for everything when G.B’s been the problem the whole time and that just because he’s an engine he doesn’t get to boss everyone around (maybe put ive got me in here idk, put the original lotta locomotion in with the actual character descriptions in back). Then at Dinah’s Disco have that be the final straw of her being done with these engine’s bullshit and then have her not take GB back at the end! Her happy ending should be about her getting her independence and not her shitty boyfriend. Rant over haha

#stex appreciation month #starlight express #stex #stex dinah #musicals #my art

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uppastthejelliclemoon · 4 years

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I'd like to hear about some of your favourite headcanons if you want. I'm so sorry you're not having the best day and I hope it gets better 💜

thank youuu 💖

SO HERE ARE SOME OF THEM!!

(this is also going off of my headcanon that the trains all have avatars they’re able to use when they’re traveling, something that allows them to blend in with the humans that work with them)

Skimbleshanks

Poppa and Skimbleshanks are basically the Dad Duo. Poppa found Skimbleshanks outside the station when he was a kitten, and decided that “oh, okay, so this kitten is going to live on the rails with me when I’m traveling”.

Skimbleshanks is totally for it, and on the days that he doesn’t have to be back at the Junkyard, he goes with Poppa back to Control’s yard, where all the trains know exactly who he is.

The freights absolutely love Skimbleshanks, but Rusty’s his personal favorite. The coaches completely dote on Skimbleshanks, and they think he’s absolutely adorable.

He’s the only non-train being who’s seen the races, and he was there the night of The Race. He’s not Greaseball’s biggest fan, and comforted Dinah after everything that happened. He doesn’t let many of the trains hold him (it’s really just Poppa, Belle, and Rusty), but he let Dinah snuggle him, and it made her feel much better.

After The Race, Skimbleshanks brought two calico cats to the yard after Poppa invited him to bring some of his family, they met C.B., and all hell broke loose. Electra’s hair was lit on fire, at least three different explosions happened in Dinah’s restaurant, and multiple shiny things went missing from engines, freights, and coaches alike. Skimbleshanks never brought the twins again.

Mistoffelees and Victoria

For these two, it was a bit different. They went on a train ride with Bustopher when they were kittens, and accompanied him to the dining car. Almost immediately, they could tell there was something different about the blonde-haired, blue-eyed woman that beamed down at them. They got to go on a few more train rides with Bustopher, and almost every time they met the strange lady, who always greeted the kittens with a cuddle and a kiss.

They didn’t forget the nice lady, and a few years down the road, after being mated, Skimbleshanks invited the tribe on a trip to a train yard. All of them were understandably confused, but joined him nonetheless on a rusty engine. Mistoffelees and Victoria were delighted when they arrived at the train yard and met the blonde human again, and Dinah was absolutely elated to see the siblings.

She was even more excited to meet their mates, and even though she couldn’t understand the cats, that didn’t stop her from teasing them as they cuddled up to her. Tugger found her absolutely wonderful, and Plato fell in love with her.

Whenever they hear that Dinah’s accompanying one of the engines to the train station, Mistoffelees and Victoria always make a point to visit and say hello to her, and if they can, they take a trip on the train and spend time with her. They’re very fond of Dinah, and she’s very fond of them.

Munkustrap

He was a kitten when he got lost on a trip with his father, Tugger, Jennyanydots, and Skimbleshanks. He was in the train station, all alone, and a kind-hearted human had found him. Munkustrap didn’t remember much about the human, only that the human’s clothing looked like it was covered in rust.

When Skimbleshanks invited the tribe to the train yard, Munkustrap was hesitant, but Demeter gave her the gentle smile that told him to trust her father, and he simply sighed and nodded.

When they arrived, Munkustrap found himself reunited with the kind-hearted human. Rusty wasn’t sure why, but when he looked into the amber eyes of the black and silver cat, he could see that there was more to him, and he remembered the frightened kitten from so long again, and he just smiled.

Munkustrap was very surprised at the amount of trust he felt around Rusty, but as he listened to Skimbleshanks’ story of The Race, and he listened to Rusty’s own retelling, he knew that Rusty was a kindred spirit, terrified of failure and of not living up to expectations.

And here are a few others that I think would get along!

Pouncival, Tumblebrutus, George, and the Rockies

Cassandra and Buffy

Jennyanydots, Jellylorum, and Belle

Plato and Dustin

Tugger and Flat-Top (I just think they’d get along? I don’t know why, I just get that vibe that they’d really get along)

Demeter and Ashley or Pearl

so yeah! these are just some of them, they’re a bit silly but they make me happy, and I just think that so many of the cats would get along so well with so many of the trains!!

#liv’s writing corner

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rancoeur-the-unfortunate · 4 years

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Chapter 26 (Pills)

Skoodge shuffled nervously behind the Doctor, the Tallest had called a meeting in the war room and that was the first time he'd gotten to participate. The Tallest didn't ask for him specifically but the Doctor had allowed him to come. Skoodge knew that he had been near the Tallest before, many times in fact. But those were all times that the short Irken had been on drugs. Now he'd have to keep up his stupid act tenfold.

Currently, both he and the Doctor were walking in one of the many massive hallways away from the war room and back to the lab. A hallway that was empty for some reason, quiet too.

"So uh..." Skoodge coughed. "What exactly is your plan?"

"Huh?" The Doctor looked away from the file in his hand.

"Your plan for... you know, destroying the C.B," Skoodge whispered that last part, whilst looking from side to side worriedly.

"Oh simple. I don't have one."

"WHA-" The Doctor quickly cut the short Irken's cry off by covering his mouth.

"-But, I know someone who does." The Doctor removed his hand and showed Skoodge the file he was holding. On the screen was a digitized hologram of a big icy blue planet with only a few tiny continents/island things and a purple ring wrapped around it as well as three moons.

"Familiar?" The Doctor smiled.

Skoodge paused trying to remember when it hit him. That dream he had! Skoodge blushed and stammered out.

"M-Murth? B-but I don't understand, w-why would the Murthens help us? I mean, the only reason they helped the rebellion in the first place was that we promised not to conquer them and we lost! They hate us!" Skoodge explained with a panicked tone in his voice.

"It's not the Murthens I need, but rather one Murthen. You may know her." The Doctor opened up the file and another hologram appeared. This time a deep blue alien with four arms appeared. The alien's skin was decorated with black dots as well as black glossy eyes, not unirken like. Three tentacle-like feelers protruded from the aliens head all three pulled back behind said head. The mouth was also abnormally small. The alien was clearly built for water: the fingers and toes were all webbed and scally yet the rest of the skin looked smooth, as well as strong arms and legs. The Murthen was also dressed up with what looked like a foot soldier's uniform.

Skoodge cocked his head to the side. "I don't understand. Who is this?"

"Ah, incredible huh? She's so average looking that you wouldn't even guess that she's one of Murth's worst criminals. Skoodge my friend you're looking at Raz, the most diabolical Murthen to ever walk on land." The Doctor smirked.

"You lost me. How can SHE help us?" Skoodge gestured with his hands.

"Tell me Skoodge what's the main chemical formula that covers the surface area of Murth."

"H20 commonly known as water. Why- oh wait a minute." Skoodge asked.

"Exactly, Raz keeps an arsenal of advanced Murthen technology, weapons with the ability to turn water into large bullets of energy stronger than anything our weaponry can produce. All we need to do is get her to hand over those weapons and the Control Brains are as good as dead."

Skoodge gasped. "So THAT's why you told the Tallest to stop by their quadrant."

"Exactly!" The Doctor snapped his fingers and stood up to keep walking.

"But uh how do you intend to find Raz?" Skoodge asked as he trailed behind.

"Simple, I know where she is. She's on Murth's third moon 'Cloric'."

"How do you know that?"

"Skoodge, tell me. When I approached the Control Brains with my proposal for drugs, did you think I didn't bring them a sample?"

Skoodge stopped whilst the Doctor continued.

"I traveled across the galaxy, collecting samples of various drugs, cataloging their uses and side effects. When you travel as much as I do, you come across certain 'information'." The Doctor made an air quotes gesture with his hands before he looked back to Skoodge

"Apparently Raz has quite the bounty on her head. It wasn't long until aliens started to hunt her down. However, none have been able to get remotely close to her, she has that moon locked down tight and whoever wants her, wants her alive."

"So what are we going to do, break-in?"

"Precisely." The Doctor smirked. "You're smarter than I thought."

"Hey!" Skoodge scowled.

"So what your telling me is that we're going to break into this ex-convict's homes in hopes of enlisting her help to destroy the Control Brains?"

"Mmhm." The Doctor nodded turning his attention back to the folder. Finally, the two made it inside the lab. Skoodge was about to sit down for a break when the Doctor through a hazmat suit onto his face.

"Ow, what's this for?"

"We'll be arriving soon, get dressed."

"Wait, what? I thought you said we're going to Murth's moon. Why do we need these?" Skoodge pulled the suit off and looked at the Doctor confused.

"Skoodge, the planet is completely covered in water, not to mention rouge. Can't be too safe." The Doctor spoke whilst putting on his suit.

Skoodge sighed and nodded as he looked down at the suit. He had a bad feeling in his chest as he started to slide on the outfit.

Once the Massive was close enough to Murth both the Doctor and Skoodge were moved into one of the ship's escape pods. The Doctor pointed to a huge yet small compared to Murth, rock on the far right side of the planet.

"That's Cloric when we land we'll need to be extremely careful, who knows what kind of traps she's laid down there."

"Doctor are you sure we're doing the right thing. Breaking into her home like this?"

"Skoodge. Do you want to kill the Control Brains or not?" The Doctor sneered.

Skoodge sighed and looked down at his feet. "Yes, sir."

"That's what I thought." With that, the Doctor stood up and sat down in the cockpit and began navigating the pod towards Cloric.

Skoodge looked out the window and pulled his knees to his chest.

When the two arrived on Cloric in their suits their first observation was how deserted the place looked. There were aircrafts everywhere, all destroyed and torn apart for parts.

"I don't get it. If she's in hiding why would she keep all these out?"

"Because what use is hiding when everyone already knows where you are. These ships aren't out here because she neglected to collect them, they're out here as a warning." The Doctor began walking forward through the debris.

Skoodge shook in fear and ran to catch up staying close to the Doctor's legs. He turned on his flashlight and tried to hold it steady in the dark.

They walked for a while, the isle of ships seemed to go on forever. When in the distance the two could see a cave entrance.

"That must be it." The Doctor cut the silence as they approached.

"Wow." Skoodge shined his flashlight inside and was surprised to see that the cave seemed to move downwards, steeply too. "How far do you think it goes?"

"Only one way to find out." The Doctor remarked before stepping inside the steep cave.

"Are you crazy?!"

"Do you have any other ideas?" The Doctor turned his head back to Skoodge.

Skoodge paused and looked away.

"I'll take your silence as a no. Now come on."

Skoodge gripped his arm and whimpered as he began to step inside.

But as he began walking he tripped over a rock and began rolling down inside the cave. He screamed in both pain and panic.

"AHHHH! Ow! AHHH! HELP!" Skoodge rolled for about 5 minutes before he hit the ground with an "Unf." He whimpered and gripped his arm in pain.

Meanwhile, the Doctor slid down beside him. "Huh, now would you look at that?"

"Is it that bad?"

"Not you. That!" The Doctor pointed deeper into the cave.

Skoodge turned around and gasped. The cave opened into a huge cavern that was lined from floor to roof in blue bioluminescent algae, which lit up the whole area. It seemed like the area was being used as a living space. There were deep pools of water everywhere as well as bits of metal shaped and molded to look like furniture. In the corner sat a Murthen space ship and at the far back of the cavern was an egg-shaped raft made out an unknown material that sat in the middle of the biggest pool in the whole cave. There were webs connected to the 'egg' that connected it to the nearest walls keeping it in the center of the pool. Near the front of it was a small hole, the entrance most likely.

The Doctor smirked and elbowed Skoodge. "Best guess, she's in there." The taller Irken then began to start walking forwards.

"Wait Doctor don't-" Skoodge reached his hand out to try and stop the Doctor but the taller Irken wouldn't listen.

From his pak, his legs extended and allowed him to walk across the shallow water to the 'egg' raft. He then climbed raised one of his limbs and sliced at the material. In one swipe the cacoon, raft, egg thing now sported a large gash making its opening much larger. The Doctor then proceeded to shove his hands in said gash and rip it open wider to see inside only to be met not with the form of a Murthen but rather that of two small translucent eggs one blue and one pink respectively.

Skoodge gasped and covered his mouth with his hands.

"Huh, interesting." The Doctor reached inside and picked up the pink one and watched as the small underdeveloped Murthen inside slowly shuffle about in its shell.

"What on Irk do you think you're doing?! Put that down right now!"

The Doctor ignored him as he inspected the egg even turning it upside down as he took in all of the Murthlet's features. It couldn't have been more then a couple of months old.

"Do you have any idea of how much danger we're in right now?! We need to leave!" Skoodge extended his pak legs in an attempt to reach the Doctor only to be stopped when a loud high pitched scream filled the cavern. Skoodge grabbed at his antennae and shut his eyes tightly in pain. Once the scream ended Skoodge slowly peaked up and saw the one who made the noise.

There near one of the ponds was none other than Raz as well as another pink Murthen. The pink one also had large dragonfly-like wings on her back which were spread out in a very intimidating way. The two looked thoroughly and, in Skoodge's opinion, understandably pissed off.

"Put him down, NOW!" Raz shouted she looked to be out for blood.

The Doctor smirked.

"Raz! What a pleasure it is to finally meet you." The Doctor spoke casually as he turned around to reveal the blaster he was now holding to the egg he was cradling in his arm.

Skoodge gasped at the same time as the Murthens. "What are you doing?! This isn't what we came for!"

Raz took a step forward but her partner held her back. Fear and anger marking their eyes as they watched the Doctor with intent.

"What do you want?" Raz snarled.

"We need your weapons." The Doctor's casual expression turned to one of malice and hate.

"Awht eaowpns?" The pink one asked in Murthen.

"What weapons?" Raz translated.

"Don't play coy. You know exactly what I'm after, Yuhi. Give me what I want or I WILL kill it." The Doctor spoke could as he placed his finger on the trigger with purpose.

Raz jumped back in fear. "Fine fine! I'll tell you just please let my son down!" The Murthen pleaded.

"Not until you give me the weapons."

"Erethy ont ereh!" The pink Murtheb exclaimed.

The Doctor looked to Raz expectantly.

"They're not here!" The blue Murthen translated.

"Then where are they?" The Doctor sounded inpatient.

"On Bleech, Murth's second moon. We moved them so that the kids couldn't get to them. Take them!"

The Doctor thought for a bit before turning his gaze back to the egg in his arm before looking at Raz. He then held up the egg over the water and dropped it.

The Murthens screamed and rushed over to save their egg only to be stopped when the Doctor grabbed the second egg and held his gun to it just as he did its sibling.

"Ah ah ah." The Doctor taunted.

Murthens, being an underwater race, were incapable of crying but instead released a small high pitched sob.

"Eaepls ihs iglls aehv ont eyt eeoedvlpd! Elt us aesv ihm eaepls!" The pink Murthen sobbed and reached out desperately for the water as Raz held her back to keep the Doctor from shooting their other spawn.

"I want you to take us there and show us. Got it?"

"What? And leave the nest?!" Raz exclaimed in somehow more panic then she was already in.

The Doctor only responded by tightening his grip on the trigger, not firing but getting close to it.

Skoodge was in such a state of shock that he couldn't say a thing throughout this whole ordeal in fear of setting off the Doctor even more.

"Fine! Fine, I'll take you. Just please let us save our son. His gills haven't developed yet, he'll drown." The Murthen pleaded.

With that, the Doctor smirked and gestured with his gun for the pink Murthen to get in the water and save her egg. "I knew you'd see things my way."

Said pink Murthen lurched into the water and pulled the egg out. She brought it back to her mate and pressed it to her chest. Raz took the egg and gently ran her head feelers over it, checking to over to see if it had been harmed. After a moment she smiled and the pink Murthen nodded back in relief. They both then turned to face the Doctor who still held their other egg hostage.

Said Doctor stood up on his pak legs and stood tall over all three of them he then dropped the egg towards Skoodge who practically juggled the egg for a bit before getting a solid grip on the thing.

The Murthens looked ready to attack but were stopped when the Doctor aimed his gun at the egg once more.

"We'll be taking this with us as leverage." He stated calmly.

"On! Ouyll ikll ehr!"

"The egg won't survive outside of damp conditions for long!"

"Then I think it would be in your best interest to make this trip quick." The Doctor snarked nastily.

"Ok ok. Just follow me I'll take you there." All four of them headed toward the entrance only to be stopped by the Doctor.

"She can stay." The Doctor spoke threatening towards the pink Murthen.

The two looked at each other with pained expressions. Raz gave the pink egg to her mate gently ran her feelers over her mate's.

"Take good care of him, Wer. I'll be back with our daughter soon."

"I iwll. I oelv ouy." Wer smiled softly and the two held one another for a second longer.

The Doctor rolled his eyes and began to trek his way up the slope and motion for Skoodge to follow. The short Irken starred at the two for a moment. The way they felt each other's feelers reminded him of Zim. He looked down at the egg in his hands and felt a strong sense of shame consume him. He knew this was for the best but was this the best way?

"Skoodge! Hurry it up!" The Doctor demanded from the slope.

Skoodge sighed, extended his pak legs, and began to climb

Zim woke up from his sleeping position when he felt something heavy hit his lap. That's funny he didn't even remember falling asleep. He looked groggily at his lap and smiled when he saw Minimoose hugging him. Well, the closest thing she could do to a hug.

"Hey there, Minimoose. Did you miss Zim?"

"Mye mi mey!" The moose squeaked as it nuzzled him.

It was long until Zim felt yet another weight, this time on his head and GIR jumped from the ceiling and onto his head.

"MASTSA!" The robot screeched at the top of his 'lungs'. "I hads no idea you was even home!"

"You were the one to greet me first."

The robot only turned his head a bit in confusion. Zim shook him off and ignored it, not really surprised at his SIR unit's bad memory chip. By the Tallest he had to get that fixed.

Wait... he probably shouldn't say that anymore should he? Zim sighed in frustration.

"Miu?"

"I'm fine Minimoose, I'm just a little tired. That's all."

"Nyah?"

"No, I don't need the relaxation room right now. Uh, why don't we just watch some TV for a bit ok? I've just got a lot on my mind I'd rather not think about right now."

Gir jumped up and screamed. "Floopsy bloops Smoopsy!"

"No Gir, not after last time." Zim winced at the memory of the skeletal raccoon family.

"Awwwwwww" The robot started crying. "B-but but puggy likey that shoooooww ow ow!" Gir then shoved a stuffed dog-thing in Zim face as he sobbed.

Zim sighed and caved.

"Alright, just this once."

In a split second Gir went from sobbing to screaming in joy to complete silence as he turned on the TV, put on his show, and sat on the couch.

Zim smirked a bit in amusement and resigned to watching the show with Gir beside him and Minimoose in his lap.

"How many episodes did you say were in this season?"

"5 hundred," Gir responded.

Zim groaned to himself and absentmindedly stroked Minnimoose's head as he watched one pink blob bloop another blue one with a strangely deep voice.

Tallest, who comes with these ideas for kid's shows.

Irk, he said it again. Zim mentally scolded himself.

Old habits need to die a lot faster if he ever wanted to stop being the Tallests' puppet.

"I bloops you Smoopsy!"

"Aww Floopsy."

"When is Smoopsy ever gonna bloop Floopsy back?" Zim asked only to be shushed by both him minions. Normally he would scold them for doing so but right now all he could do was laugh in mirth.

(You didn't forget the Doctor isn't a nice person, did you?)

#invader zim #zadr #zadr fanfiction #Pills #zim x dib #Zim #gir #minnimoose #skoodge #the doctor #the tallest #original alien species

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bbyboybrock--archived · 5 years

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Serendipity (C.B) | Chapter 1

Summary: Serendipity: (n) the chance occurrence of events in a beneficial way

Popular youtuber Isabella Hart, known as Bella to her audience, bends over backwards to separate her youtube life from her private life. Known for her overall clean content and her bubbly attitude, Isabella has a wild side to her that only those inside the youtube community know about. When Bella meets Colby during one of the trap house parties she finally meets someone she can be her genuine self with. When trouble arises after their meeting, will Bella be able to hand the pressure or will she destroy her relationship with Colby as well as herself in the process. [This starts in 2018]

Written: 2019

Word Count: 2,811

Warnings: swearing

Serendipity Masterlist

The too loud music sends chills down my spine. It's so loud that I'm sure it changed the rhythm of my heartbeat. I push through the crowd of people stuffed into the house. The house appears to be large on the outside, but whoever threw this party didn't account for the actual body count that would consume the downstairs of their house.

I manage to fight my way through the crowd and land in the kitchen where there is more breathing room. Most people are dispersed throughout the three living room type areas and the backyard. The front yard is virtually off limits, but some people are choosing to smoke out there instead of the backyard where they can get splashed by people playing in the pool.

"Crazy party, huh?" Says an unidentifiable male voice. I can barely hear him over the music.

"Oh, definitely! For a bunch of people in their late teens and early twenties who stay at home to make videos, they all really know how to be sociable. I guess you'd be an idiot to turn down free booze at a place that doesn't id you." I take a sip of my drink before finally turning to face the guy. I immediately notice his eyes blue eyes. His dark brown hair only complements his features. He looks familiar.

"Just for that comment, I'm afraid that I'm going to have to card you." He smirks at me as he places his hand out.

"You see, I would but you don't look that much older than me. In fact, you might even be my age. So if I gave you my real id or my fake id, you couldn't exactly reprimand me."

He places his drink on the counter next to us and pulls out his wallet. He slides out his id and holds it in front of my face. I glance and his birthday and do a quick estimation.

"So you are 21, Cole Robert Brock." He quickly pulls his id away and places it back in his wallet.

"Everybody calls me Colby."

"Good to know. I'm Isabella by the way. Everyone calls me Bella."

"You look way more like an Izzy. I'm going to call you that." I absolutely hate the nickname Izzy, but for whatever reason, I don't hate it when he says it.

"Wait, you said Colby right? You wouldn't happen to be the Colby that lives here, would you?

"How many other guys named Colby do you know?"

"Quite a few actually; this is LA after all. Plus there's the cheese, so there's that."

I watch as Colby opens his mouth like he's going to speak. He looks between the crowd and me.

"This is going to seem weird but can I pretend to kiss you? I'll explain after I swear."

My eyes look at where Colby was looking and shift back to him. There's a black-haired girl starting to walk over to us. I quickly nod my head and close my eyes. I feel Colby's large hands cup my face gently. He quickly swipes a thumb over my lips before moving his head closer to mine. For added effect, I placed my arms around his neck.

Colby pulls away I opened my eyes and meet Colby's. I glance in the direction of the girl and she was gone. I turn back to Colby and see that he has a grin on his face.

"So... what was that all about?" I ask awkwardly.

"Maybe we should go somewhere quieter. Like my bedroom."

"Wow, Mr. Cole. At least buy a girl some dinner before inviting her to your room."

"That can be arranged. Follow me." Colby takes my drink out of my hand and places it on the table next to his drink. Colby takes my hand before guiding me out of the kitchen and through the crowd.

Eventually, we end up in the front part of the house where there a few people smoking and vaping. I follow confused as Colby takes me outside the gate to their house. Colby finally lets go of my hand and sits on the curb. He pats the ground next to him and I slowly plant myself next to him.

"Why are we sitting on the street next to your house?" I look as Colby does something on his phone.

"I'm getting us dinner. We're both pretty drunk so I doubt either of us can drive. Are you vegan or gluten-free or whatever?"

"No...? I pretty much eat anything. I was joking about the dinner thing."

"Oh, I know. I'm serious." Colby pushes a few more buttons on his phone before putting it away.

"Are you going to tell me why just put on that performance in your kitchen now?"

"Basically, that girl was someone who I was talking too who tried to use me to get to one of my friends. I ended that and she's been trying to hit me up ever since."

"I'm sorry. Glad I could help you avoid that disaster."

"Thanks. How old are you actually?"

"I turn 19 in April. I'd ask you but you already flashed your id at me earlier."

"So you definitely should have been carded to get into the parrty. How'd you find out about the party?"

"It certainly helps to be a member of the youtube community. I heard about this party from a few friends in the industry. I watched a few of yours and your roommates' videos. I never go to a party without doing my research first."

"...I'm trying to figure out your channel right now... Oh shit, I know. You're that Bellable girl!"

"Yeah, I am. Now keep your voice down. I don't need all of LA hearing about me being here and drinking."

"Sorry, I didn't recognize you at first because here you're so different from your videos."

"I was hoping to not be easily recognizable. I don't need someone telling Keemstar or some expose channel about me being completely off-brand."

Compared to how I present myself on my social media, I look and act like a completely different person. My normal girly, boho style has been changed for a more party girl vibe. My fishnet stockings, scandalously short shorts, and an old shirt from Goodwill replace my normal brightly colored clothes. My normally natural makeup has been updated to fit the party atmosphere. My red lipstick has been wiped away from repetitive drinking and eating from throughout the night. I was hoping to be slightly unrecognizable. This isn't a side of me that I present to my viewers.

"Are you cold?" Colby snaps me out of my thoughts. I hadn't realized this but I'm subconsciously hugging myself.

"I'm fine-" Before I could finish my sentence Colby is taking off his maroon Take Chances hoodie.

"I was getting hot anyway. You probably use this more than me."

"Thanks. I think the postmates is here." I say pointing at the person with bags walking towards us. I quickly slip Colby's hoodie on before helping him by taking a bag and a drink. I follow Colby back into the house. It seems that in the time we've been outside the house has gotten hotter and people have gotten noticeably drunker. I watch as the security lets Colby upstairs and I quickly run behind him. He leads me through the dark area until he stops.

"Welcome to chez Brock." Colby opens the door and turns on the lights to let me see his room.

"It's very... colorful." I look around and see blank sticky notes covering his walls.

"The stickies are all from a prank Sam did on me. Make yourself comfortable." Colby takes the food bag from me and walks to his desk to sort out the food. I take my backpack and shoes off and place them by the door and sit on the grey couch.

I look around the room and there isn't much. Just some basic furniture and that's about it. Colby finally walks over with paper plates with food.

"Nice set up you got here," I say taking a plate from Colby. He leaves enough space in between us so we can put our plates down.

"Yeah, its small room but I make it work. So, you said that you did a bit of research before coming here?"

"Oh yeah. I go to a lot of social media events and with my brand, I have to make sure that I'll be good going somewhere with a certain crowd. I've actually been here before."

"Really? When?"

"A couple of times for parties. I think the first party I went to was the one with the ball pit?"

"That was a crazy party. How do you do your research anyway?"

"I went on yours and your roommates' channels and watched three videos and then I do a quick Twitter search. I let my manager know in case there's something that I can't find on the internet. Even if I've been to a certain creator's party before I look them up beforehand."

"Okay, here's what I don't get. You're like, a big-time influencer whose entire brand is based on you being this squeaky clean, innocent girl. And here you are, hitting up parties and basically being your polar opposite."

"I mean, you should understand putting out the best version of yourself out on the internet. When I started this whole social media thing I was thirteen and in a really dark place. Within a couple of years my view and subscriber count was going up at a ridiculous rate and I saw a bunch of people liking this version of myself. As I got older I wanted to adapt my content to fit my style but a part of me that didn't want to disappoint my fans so I separate my work and personal life. Especially the parties and drinking. I'm sure you can relate in some way." I make eye contact with Colby and quickly look away.

"I know what you mean. You suddenly have all these people who look up to you and depend on you that you need to step back and have your own time. You have what, eight million subs?"

"Yeah, you're right. You're close to a million if I remember correctly."

"Yeah, it's crazy. It took longer for Sam and me to get one million on our collab channel so I'm not even going to stress about it. We're near to two million on there."

"Where are you going to put your plaque? I'd say your wall but your wall is kinda busy already."

"Maybe our office? Sam and I converted one of the rooms downstairs into an office for ourselves but we're thinking about finding a separate office space because it's always so loud here."

"And it's sometimes better to not work where you live. I try to edit outside of my apartment but I always end up editing in my little office."

"So, since you're like my youtube superior. Want to give me tips on how you hit eight million subs?"

"Really? Well, um... I think I started long before you. I've had my channel since I was literally eleven. So I've been on youtube for nearly eight years? You guys started on youtube like three years ago I think? But you were on vine before that for two years and got a million followers? Honestly, you and Sam are doing better than I was when I was starting out. I didn't hit my first million until four years ago. So I think you're actually my youtube superior."

"You only did a little bit of research?" I see Colby smirk. I pause for a bit and look away. I take a sip of the soda Colby got for me.

"I mean... I have to do research every time you guys have a party. And I may have been a fan a while ago..." I whisper the last part under my breath.

"What was the last bit you said? The part about you being a fan?" Colby's smirk changes into a full-on grin.

"I—It's just— I was a fan back in your vine days that's about it.

"Was a fan? Oh no. What stopped you from following us?"

"I mean, Vine shutting down was a big factor. In all seriousness though, I think it was the Sam Pepper prank. It was a bit too much for my taste."

"Well, uh, if it makes you feel better. We got Sam's approval before posting it. But yeah, no, it was a stupid video idea and I was young and much more stupid than I am now."

"So you're still stupid now?"

"Yeah. So stupid. In fact, I so stupid that I'm going to risk reading the entire situation wrong and ask you out on a date."

"Really? Hmm. How about this, I'll go out on a date with you if you can find the sticky note with my phone number on it."

"Hm, a challenge? I'll take it."

"Hold on a second. I feel like there is one bit of information you should know about me before you accept the challenge."

"Okay, shoot." I play with my hair for a second before taking a huge breath.

"So, I don't know if you know this but I'm pretty popular in the youtube creator community. So popular that someone made a nickname for me that I'm not going to repeat at this moment. Let's just say that I'm widely known for going to creator parties and doing... things with people... I've been drunk or sober for every single instance. I'm probably one of the top five biggest youtube sluts by now but I'm definitely not proud of it."

Colby doesn't say anything. The silence scares me. For the first time ever I've actually met someone who doesn't want to just hook up an be done. Someone who I can have an actual conversation with. I can't explain why or how but I feel completely comfortable with Colby, something I haven't felt with anyone in a long time.

"Well, we all make mistakes so who am I to judge. Besides, we just spent the past hour or so just talking so I feel like I know you a bit so I'm going to have to take the challenge of finding your number."

"Well, close your eyes and give me a few minutes."

I watch as Colby closes his eyes and covers them. I get up and pick up a random pen. I begin writing small print random messages before writing my number as small as I could. I pull off one of the sticky notes and write 'good luck' on it and walk back over to the couch.

"You can open your eyes now," I say as I begin packing up my stuff. I hand Colby the sticky note.

"Did you write your number this small?"

"I couldn't make it easy on you. Anyway, it's late and I'm pretty sure the party is dying down. I'm going to get going." I take off the hoodie Colby gave and fold it gently. What he doesn't know is that the sticky note with my number is in the pocket.

"You could keep it. I have plenty." I pick up my backpack and slip on my shoes.

"Somehow, I think you're going to need it more than me." I wink at Colby before leaving the confused boy alone in his room.

I walk downstairs and make my way through the crowd of drunk youtubers. Without looking I bump into someone and cause them to spill their drink.

"Oh shit. I'm sorry." I say to the person. There isn't much I can do. I have no idea where the paper towels are. The person turns around and I immediately recognize him.

"Oh hey, Jizzy! Did you already hit your quota tonight or are you looking for a real man to treat you right?" With him, you can never tell if he's drunk or just plain stupid. If this was any other night I would have snuck off with him somewhere but tonight I don't feel like it.

"Fuck off Brennan," I say before shoving past him. I quickly run outside and call an uber home.

On the way home I check every social media of every youtube that could or would be at the party. Just to make sure that I'm not easy to pick out by fans. I continue the search party when I get into my apartment. I only stop to take a shower and brush my teeth. When I climb into bed I go to unlock my phone and see a text from an unknown number. The message read: Hey, this is Colby. Just wanted to know if you got home safe. P.S. it looks like we're going on that date ;)

#Colby fanfic #colby fanfiction #colby #colby fan fic #colby fan fiction #colby brock #colby brock fanfic #colby brock fanfiction #colby brock fan fic #colby brock fan fiction

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bsd-bibliophile · 5 years

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Louisa May Alcott Quotes

Hello Anne! This is my first batch of quotes. I hope you like them! Being a girl, I decided to start with a female writer.

“Good books, like good friends, are few and chosen; the more select, the more enjoyable.”

“Do the things you know, and you shall learn the truth you need to know.”

“I like to help women help themselves, as that is, in my opinion, the best way to settle the woman question. Whatever we can do and do well we have a right to, and I don’t think any one will deny us.”

“Women have been called queens for a long time, but the kingdom given them isn’t worth ruling.” (An Old-Fashioned Girl, 1870)

“I can only say to you as I do to the many young writers who ask for advice — There is no easy road to successful authorship; it has to be earned by long and patient labor, many disappointments, uncertainties and trials.” (From a letter to a reader, 1878)

“Read Charlotte Brontë’s life. A very interesting, but sad one. So full of talent; and after working long, just as success, love, and happiness come, she dies. Wonder if I shall ever be famous for people to care to read my story and struggles. I can’t be a C.B., but I may do a little something yet.” (From her journal, entry dated June, 1857)

“We all have our own life to pursue, our own kind of dream to be weaving … And we all have the power to make wishes come true, As long as we keep believing.”

“Life is my college. May I graduate well, and earn some honors.”

“Painful as it may be, a significant emotional event can be the catalyst for choosing a direction that serves us — and those around us — more effectively. Look for the learning.”

“We’ve got minds and souls as well as hearts; ambition and talents as well as beauty and accomplishments; and we want to live and learn as well as love and be loved. I’m sick of being told that is all a woman is fit for! I won’t have anything to do with love until I prove that I am something beside a housekeeper and a baby-tender!” (Rose in Bloom, 1876)

“My head is my study, & there I keep the various plans of stories for years some times, letting them grow as they will till I am ready to put them on paper. Then it is quick work, as chapters go down word for word as they stand in my mind & need no alteration.” (From a letter to journalist Frank Carpenter, 1887)

“He who believes is strong; he who doubts is weak. Strong convictions precede great actions.”

“She is too fond of books, and it has turned her brain.” (Work: A Story of Experience, 1873)

“The love, respect, and confidence of my children was the sweetest reward I could receive for my efforts to be the woman I would have them copy.” (Little Women, 1868)

“I want to do something splendid…something heroic or wonderful that won’t be forgotten after I’m dead. I don’t know what, but I’m on the watch for it and mean to astonish you all someday.” (Little Women, 1868)

“Nothing is impossible to a determined woman.” (Behind a Mask: The Unknown Thrillers Of Louisa May Alcott, 1866)

“The emerging woman … will be strong-minded, strong-hearted, strong-souled, and strong-bodied…strength and beauty must go together.” (An Old-Fashioned Girl, 1870)

“Keep good company, read good books, love good things and cultivate soul and body as faithfully as you can.” (Rose In Bloom, 1876)

“Have regular hours for work and play; make each day both useful and pleasant, and prove that you understand the worth of time by employing it well. Then youth will be delightful, old age will bring few regrets, and life will become a beautiful success.” (Little Women, 1868)

“It’s amazing how lovely common things become, if one only knows how to look at them.” (Marjorie’s Three Gifts, 1899)

“I shall keep my book on the table here, and read a little every morning as soon as I wake, for I know it will do me good, and help me through the day.”

“Human minds are more full of mysteries than any written book and more changeable than the cloud shapes in the air.” (Abbot’s Ghost: A Christmas Story, 1867)

“It takes people a long time to learn the difference between talent and genius, especially ambitious young men and women.” (Little Women, 1868)

“Some books are so familiar that reading them is like being home again.”

“Self-abnegation is a noble thing but I think there is a limit to it, & though in a few rare cases it may work well yet half the misery of the world seems to come from unmated pairs trying to live their lie decorously to the end, & bringing children into the world to inherit the unhappiness & discord out of which they were born.” (From a letter to a friend, 1865)

The ones below I believe are specifically from Little Women.

“I’ve got the key to my castle in the air, but whether I can unlock the door remains to be seen.”

“Love is a great beautifier.”

“My child, the troubles and temptations of your life are beginning, and may be many; but you can overcome and outlive them all if you learn to feel the strength and tenderness of your Heavenly Father as you do that of your earthly one. The more you love and trust Him, the nearer you will feel to Him, and the less you will depend on human power and wisdom. His love and care never tire or change, can never be taken from you, but may become the source of lifelong peace, happiness, and strength. Believe this heartily, and go to God with all your little cares, and hopes, and sins, and sorrows, as freely and confidingly as you come to your mother.”

“Watch and pray, dear, never get tired of trying, and never think it is impossible to conquer your fault.”

“… for love casts out fear, and gratitude can conquer pride.”

“I want to do something splendid … something heroic or wonderful that won’t be forgotten after I’m dead. I don’t know what, but I’m on the watch for it and mean to astonish you all someday.”

“Be comforted, dear soul! There is always light behind the clouds.”

“I’ve got the key to my castle in the air, but whether I can unlock the door remains to be seen”

“I’d rather take coffee than compliments right now.”

“I want to do something splendid… Something heroic or wonderful that won’t be forgotten after I’m dead… I think I shall write books.”

“The power of finding beauty in the humblest things makes home happy and life lovely.”

“Don’t try and make me grow up before my time … ”

“I find it poor logic to say that because women are good, women should vote. Men do not vote because they are good; they vote because they are male, and women should vote, not because we are angels and men are animals, but because we are human beings and citizens of this country.”

“Love Jo all your days, if you choose, but don’t let it spoil you, for it’s wicked to throw away so many good gifts because you can’t have the one you want.”

“I am not afraid of storms, for I am learning how to sail my ship.”

“Don’t laugh at the spinsters, dear girls, for often very tender, tragic romances are hidden away in the hearts that beat so quietly under the sober gowns, and many silent sacrifices of youth, health, ambition, love itself, make the faded faces beautiful in God’s sight. Even the sad, sour sisters should be kindly dealt with, because they have missed the sweetest part of life, if for no other reason.”

“Some people seemed to get all sunshine, and some all shadow…”

“There are many Beths in the world, shy and quiet, sitting in corners till needed, and living for others so cheerfully that no one sees the sacrifices till the little cricket on the hearth stops chirping, and the sweet, sunshiny presence vanishes, leaving silence and shadow behind.”

“Have regular hours for work and play; make each day both useful and pleasant, and prove that you understand the worth of time by employing it well. Then youth will bring few regrets, and life will become a beautiful success.”

“You don’t need scores of suitors. You need only one … if he’s the right one.”

“Be worthy love, and love will come.”

“Be comforted, dear soul! There is always light behind the clouds.”

“I don’t pretend to be wise, but I am observing, and I see a great deal more than you’d imagine. I’m interested in other people’s experiences and inconsistencies, and, though I can’t explain, I remember and use them for my own benefit.”

“She preferred imaginary heroes to real ones, because when tired of them, the former could be shut up in the tin kitchen till called for, and the latter were less manageable.”

“Girls are so queer you never know what they mean. They say no when they mean yes, and drive a man out of his wits just for the fun of it.”

“Wouldn’t it be fun if all the castles in the air which we make could come true and we could live in them?”

“A quick temper, sharp tongue, and restless spirit were always getting her into scrapes, and her life was a series of ups and downs, which were both comic and pathetic.”

“Jo had learned that hearts, like flowers, cannot be rudely handled, but must open naturally…”

“Gentlemen, be courteous to the old maids, no matter how poor and plain and prim, for the only chivalry worth having is that which is the readiest to to pay deference to the old, protect the feeble, and serve womankind, regardless of rank, age, or color.”

“…and Jo laid the rustling sheets together with a careful hand, as one might shut the covers of a lovely romance, which holds the reader fast till the end comes, and he finds himself alone in the work-a-day world again.”

Finally, this is one of the sites I searched from: https://www.literaryladiesguide.com/author-quotes/louisa-may-alcott-quotes/

I hope you enjoy them. I look forward to submitting more quotes next week!

Yours faithfully,

Bashiek

#submission #louisa may alcott #bungos stray dogs #bungou stray dogs #bsd

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keepseaveyweird · 5 years

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I Guess I Just Feel Like~ C.B

Word count: 2804

A/N: Not gonna lie, I think this may be my best one so far ;) I was inspired by John Mayer’s new song I Guess I Just Feel like so if you wanna feel all the good vibes and feel sad at the same time, go listen to it it’s super good! Please tell me what you like/ didn’t like, I really wanna improve as a writer cause I’m still new at the whole creative writing thing. I can bust out a 10 page argumentative essay like no other but I struggle when it comes to this stuff lol. But I’d love feedback! love you guys <3

The road was steep, so steep in fact that she could hear her car struggling every now and then to gun it. The Hollywood hills were a bitch, made for the famous who could afford cars good enough to get to their house, not for her hand-me-down Civic that was bound to explode at any given time. But she made it. And at the top, she found his car empty in a park and him not far away, perched on a picnic bench with his guitar and his back to her. Parking next to him and watching him for a few moments put her into a trance, because he was so in his in own element, so Corbyn; something she hadn’t witnessed in what felt like a lifetime. The way he strummed and moved his fingers up and down the neck of the guitar, the way he would close his eyes and bob his head when he got really into whatever it was he was playing. The way he’d take a moment every couple minutes to stop, look up and appreciate the view. The way she could just tell that his mind was running a million miles an hour, and nothing in the world could stop it.

So she didn’t, she sat behind the wheel, music quietly playing over the speakers and watched him. She watched and watched and waited for Corbyn’s head to stop spinning so much, because she knew there was a lot up there, knew that he didn’t like to talk about his thoughts. But he was strong and he could conquer anything, but she wasn’t quite sure, with how he had been acting, if he could push through this one.

Suddenly, Corbyn laid his guitar beside him on the picnic table and placed his elbows and his knees, his face in his palms as he continued to think. She exited the car and slowly made her way to the bench.

It was spring and the air was chillier than usual and the trees, bushes and flowers were in full bloom. Birds chirped and people rode by on bikes and skateboards and walked their dogs or were taking their kids home from the playground that was just a short stroll away. The area around them was loud, but the problem was Corbyn’s silence was even louder, because he was never silent. He joked and he sang and he would dance along with his band mates and sing along with her in the car, he was constantly uploading Instagram stories and Tweeting, responding to fans and loving life. And she wasn’t really sure when that all changed.

She approached Corbyn, though still behind him, he could tell she was there, could feel her whenever she was around. He could feel her concern and her worries and her heartache, because she didn’t know what to do, didn’t know what was going on and it was a first for the both of them. Because the two had been friends since diapers and they shared everything, and when friendship turned into more after high school graduation, there was no way in hell anyone could have been closer than Corbyn and her were. They were one, Corbyn and y/n, y/n and Corbyn. Always associated with one another, always a package deal.

“I’m sorry,” He told her, not turning around. He continued to look out past the hills and at the city. The sun was beginning to set and golden hour was in full force. The skyscrapers gleamed against the sunshine and the lights on Santa Monica Pier were on, and beginning to sparkle just a bit to show the craziness that would presume once the sun had hidden itself behind the horizon.

She found a spot next to him, his guitar in the middle, “you don’t need to be sorry, you have nothing to be sorry for,” she told him, staring out into Los Angeles with him.

The silence remained until the sun had fallen behind the skyscrapers and the sky began to look more like cotton candy with every second.

“Do you ever miss home?” Corbyn asked her, glancing away from the city and to her.

“Yeah, every now and then. Sometimes I wish my mom was with me to help do the dishes, or that dad was here to repair my car. But I also know that I have a home here, that home being you,” she said, a small smile on her face as she stared down to her worn out sandals.

He chuckled a bit, diving back into his own thoughts, “funny how that turned out isn’t,” he said, mostly to himself, returning his attention back to the skyline.

“What do you mean by that?”

“I mean I’m never even home. I’m always on tour or in the studio or filming something with the boys. You moved out here to be with me, and I feel like I barely see you and I’m sorry.” He told her, putting his head down a bit.

“Corbyn you have nothing to be sorry for, I knew what I was getting into, I knew you were going to be gone. I knew because I knew you could make it, could see the talent in you and the boys and wanted to be physically here to support you.” She told him, a hand on his thigh.

“I know, I know and I love you for that. Really y/n I do.” He said, “I don’t know I guess I just got a lot on my mind.”

“Then talk to me.” And with that, she could see his head go back into overdrive, finding the words that he needed to express how he feels. A couple minutes go by and by then, the sky was a deep fiery orange with white wisps of clouds.

“I just don’t feel like myself. Like I’m lying to everyone, well not lying, but that’s basically what it is. I feel like I can’t be myself because I have to worry about what the press will say or what my manager wants or I can’t cuss in interviews or when I meet a fan ‘cause my publicist says it’s bad publicity. I feel like I’m two different people and my alter ego just comes out when the cameras turn on. And I’m kind of tired you know? Thinking about every move you make and every word you say is exhausting, and sometimes I just want to run back home to my mom who will tell me I did good and just go to college and find a normal job. I want to go back home because I miss my mom, and my dad and my sister and all our friends. I miss our favorite hiking trail and walking your dog who poops literally every two minutes and we’d be annoyed but it was also the highlight of my day. I miss seeing all our old friends from high school, hell I fucking miss school, which I never thought I’d ever say. I just see them killing it over at college and wonder if I’m missing out y’know?” Corbyn’s words were fast, and not thought out, but it was Corbyn’s mind and his mind was just exploding from being constrained for so long. He took a minute to think again to find the words he hadn’t come up with.

But y/n didn’t talk, she just continued to look between her boyfriend’s face and the city that she hadn’t realized brought him so much pain.

“I mean, I used to daydream about being here in LA, doing what I’m doing. Playing arenas and selling out tours and releasing music. I dreamt about making it big and being able to afford a big, luxurious house for the two of us, and I have, I’ve made it but I don’t even get to enjoy it with you. I’m never even home, I’m on tour or I’m in the studio writing and recording. If it’s not that it’s a photoshoot with the boys or shooting a music video for our next single. I don’t get to live in the house I’ve, and you’ve, worked so hard for and it’s frustrating. And I sound like the biggest idiot, sound like the biggest crybaby I’ve ever heard. I mean there’s people living on the streets down there, families who don’t have food. Fucking Flint, Michigan still doesn’t have clean water and villages in Africa don’t even have water or are living in a war zone and I’m here complaining because I can’t spend more time in my fucking house. I’m sitting here complaining over stupid things because I miss my girlfriend. Because I miss you, I miss you so much. I see you at night when I come home, we go to sleep and then I wake up before you and leave again. It’s not fair to you, hell it’s not fair to me.” He took a deep breath, his head falling between his knees. She thought he was going to cry, but he didn’t, he kept himself composed.

“Corbyn, it’s okay, I understand and I’m not mad-” she tried to tell him, but she was cut off. Suddenly Corbyn stood up from the picnic table and started pacing back and forth.

“I know that you’re okay with it and that’s the problem. Because y/n, you’re so patient with me, so kind and loving and forgiving. And I’m terrified I’m abusing those beautiful, those amazing qualities about you. I’m terrified that one day you’re going to get tired of waiting for me to come home and waking up alone. Because one day you’re bound to get tired of living alone in such a big city and you’re going to pack your bags and move back home to Virginia. And the problem is I wouldn’t blame you, because I wouldn’t put up with me either, because I’m never there. I wouldn’t blame you if you went back to Fairfax and found another man who was actually present and made you happy. I wouldn’t be mad that you would’ve moved on, but I’ll always be hung up on you because I don’t have time to find anyone else. It will literally always be you” He sat back down and the bench, still not done with emptying his brain.

“I just wish I was around more, wish I could enjoy what we have, what we’ve made together more. But I love my job, and I love my bandmates, my brothers and I love you so much and I don’t know what side to choose. Because this city gives you an expiration date, people only last so long in the music industry before falling down the inevitable rabbit hole, and we’ve only barely started. I mean Why Don’t We is still young, not even three years old yet, and we’re doing so good. So so so so so good and it’s exciting because the boys and I have worked so hard to get to this place. But these last two years have felt like a lifetime and I’m tired and I know you’re tired, and to be honest, I don’t know if I can last until the bands expiration date, because we’re growing so fast our date seems to be getting further and further every day. I guess I just feel like… like I’m reaching my breaking point.” Corbyn ended his rant, his tangent and he was breathless.

And y/n was at a loss of words, because she knew there was a lot up there in that big brain of his, but not that much. She didn’t realize he had so much fear in him, so much loneliness and fatigue.

By now the sky was a dark purple and rim between the sky and the sea was a dark, deep red, about to disperse into blue and purple as well.

“Can I tell you what I think?” y/n asked. Corbyn nodded his head, looking out into the city once more as the lights began to sparkle and the Pier was in full swing with the ferris wheel and colorful blinking lights. The Hollywood Sign, shined white as a reminder to what the city has provided for not just them, but for everyone who lives within it.

“I think that your thoughts are completely valid, I think that you have every right to think that way. But I also believe that you think too much, that you get into your own head. There is no reason you should be jealous of our friends back home who drink every weekend and spend the next five nights studying for a stupid midterm. Because having a real job sucks all the creativity from your soul, and your soul is one of the most colorful ones I have ever seen. Corbyn you were born to do what you do, born to sing and dance and perform and make everyone around you happy and a better person. All five of you were destined to be here in this city, with this lifestyle. And I know it’s hard work and I know you’re tired, but I’m sitting here on the sidelines, listening to what people are saying, what people are posting, watching you guys work your asses off everyday, and it’s worth it. Because you guys are smashing it and are so close to becoming the next One Direction or BackStreet Boys or the fucking Beatles for Christ’s sake. But you can’t stop now, it isn’t your time, right now it’s your time to conquer the world, and if you think I won’t be there every step of the way you’re delusional. If you think I’d run back home to some hillbilly who peaked in high school your insane, because just like you said, Corbyn, you’re it for me too. We’ve been best friends since our moms used the same changing table together to change our diapers, and if you think that’ll ever change you’re wrong, you’re so so so so wrong.” She grabbed his face and laid kisses everywhere.

“And I miss you too, I miss you so much when you’re on tour or when you’re in the studio, but you know what I tell myself?” Corbyn shook his head, “I tell myself that I don’t need you by my side every waking hour of the day. Though it’d be nice, I know that you’re thinking about me just as much as I’m thinking about you. Our relationship is different y’know? We don’t need to speak everyday, we don’t need to constantly check up on each other, because it’s us and our love is strong enough to bare the silence, bare the space between us. And I know at the end of the day, when you’re home or whether you’re in the middle of Asia, we go to bed loving one another and waking up with the same love in our hearts. Don’t give up Corbs, this is your time, you’ve made it so far and I’m so proud. I know you’re tired and you miss your family and I know there’s nothing we can do about it, but we’ll miss them together. The next break you have, we’ll be on the next flight home to Virginia, and we’ll walk my gross, poopy dog and we’ll hike to the top of our favorite mountain and binge eat your mom’s pasta because man that shit is good.”

Corbyn laughed, a smile broke out into his face and the beautiful noises left his mouth, “she does make some kick-ass Alfredo doesn’t she?” He said.

“Damn right she does,” y/n laughed, “and we’ll even take a trip to University of Virginia one weekend and we’ll party all night so you can understand that you’re not missing out on anything. Because all those students want to be in the position you are in right now. And we’ll donate to charities for the poor and for the third world countries so you don’t have to feel bad about the successes you’ve made for yourself. Because Corbyn, you deserve every single success that you have been blessed with and do not ever second guess yourself.”

Corbyn looked at her, amazed by her words and the confidence behind them. Amazed because he truly did have it all, all stuffed inside of one girl. All of his doubt had completely vanished, and he had never felt better about where he was then in that moment.

He couldn’t help but crack the biggest smile the world has ever seen as he cupped her face and connected their lips, as he instantly felt a sense of home. A moment passed when he pulled away and looked deep into her eyes to see nothing but love and admiration.

“I love you so much y/n y/l/n, you don’t even know the half of it,” he told you.

“I love you too Corbyn Besson, and I plan to tell you that everyday,” She smiled as he picked up his guitar and began strumming, nothing but his singing and the lights of the city of dreams to focus on.

#corbyn besson #daniel seavey #jonah marais #jack avery #zach herron #why dont we #fanfic #writing #blurbs #concepts #john mayer #i guess i just feel like #music #musicians #boy bands

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patheticphallacy · 5 years

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This is going to be a really difficult introduction to my wrap up.

Unfortunately, on September 18th my dad passed away. He was only 50 years old. I won’t go into details because of how personal it is, but he was in hospital a majority of the month before he passed. I’ve taken a year suspension from University for the time being.

It has been a really difficult time for myself and my family. I’ve turned a lot to books and blogging to offer a way to occupy my mind which is why so many things still seem to be coming out, but I cannot say that this will hold up after the funeral.

As I schedule so many posts, a lot of what came out this month has been written since around mid August and I did not find the time to stop the University posts before they were released. I won’t be deleting them.

I hope you’ll all understand.

THINGS I’VE READ

An Inspector Calls by J.B. Priestley– My sister gave me her copy she used for her GCSE’s. Such a great play with revelation after revelation, left me on the edge of my seat. While I knew the core plot twist, I didn’t predict that ending.

Mob Psycho 100 Volume 1 by One– This was kind of meh. It’s one of my best friend’s favourites, so I’ll carry it on eventually, but I don’t really feel the urge to pick volume two up just yet. I will say I like how the anime tackles the same events in a different order to save major revelations for backstory– that was really interesting to pick up on.

I Call Upon Thee by Ania Ahlborn– I really didn’t like this! Lacklustre and very cliched, feel like it doesn’t really offer anything other than annoying ending and characters who go through absolutely no development at all.

Kissing Tolstoy by Penny Reid– An OK romance that actually has discussions surrounding reading and books that don’t feel forced. I found this easy to read even though I’ve never read any Russian Lit, and I actually want to read it more now. Like that it discusses age gaps and issues of the power dynamic too.

Seven Tears at High Tide by C.B. Lee– Finally finished this one, and it only took me 3 months. A very cute and heartwarming story about a boy who makes a wish and falls in love with a Selkie. Does get ridiculous at the end, I must say, but I was happy with the payoff.

The Tea Dragon Society by Katie O’Neill– Katie O’Neill creates such amazing narratives that have wonderful messages about society and being true to yourself and your wishes, pursuing something that you love and encouraging others to do the same.

Rosemary’s Baby by Ira Levin– How can I ever trust a single man or old person after this book? Tell me.

Please Undo This Hurt by Seth Dickinson– Don’t really rate this short story. It bored me and I hated the main characters, not even in a good way. Just perpetuates the ‘I can save you from your mental illness’ narrative that is dull and overdone by this point.

My Hero Academia Volume 20 by Kohei Horikoshi– Gentle Criminal and La Brava was so boring, the School Festival arc was fabulous, and Endeavor finally got his ass kicked! Yay!

Aphrodite Made Me Do It by Trista Mateer– I have a review of this coming out soon for National Poetry Day in the UK, but if you don’t want to wait, I have a review here!

The Quiet Boy by Nick Antosca– I read this after watching the trailer for Antlers, and I thought it was pretty neat! Very thrilling, although I’m bothered by changes being made in the film that I feel could detract from having Julia as one of the main characters in the film.

I Am Not Your Final Girl by Claire C. Holland– A collection of poetry centring around fictional women from horror films, exploring their empowerment and agency in a genre and a wider culture and society that seems willing to beat them down until they break.

Alice Isn’t Dead by Joseph Fink– I have a review of this linked later this post! Full of body horror and emotional trauma, this is a really solid read great for fans of the podcast and Welcome to Night Vale.

In the Shadow of Spindrift House by Mira Grant– I love this terrible cover! Keep an eye out for my review of this, it’s coming out soon.

The World’s Greatest First Love Volume 1 by Shungiku Nakamura– The publishing elements and the main character were GREAT, but there is prevalent sexual assault in this that is never addressed and is incredibly insensitive in its treatment, so I don’t recommend this manga.

Dead Voices by Katherine Arden– I didn’t enjoy this one as much as Small Spaces, but it’s still really freaky and a great middle grade read. I love that Coco gets her own POV in this, too, and that it doesn’t take stereotypical routes with some of its plotlines.

No One Is Too Small To Make a Difference by Greta Thunberg– This is a collection of speeches Greta Thunberg has made addressing climate change, as well as her own position as an advocate for the cause. Moving and a must read, in my opinion. It’s only £3 in Waterstones at the moment for anyone who wants to pick it up!

Zen in the Art of Writing by Ray Bradbury– A fascinating collection of essays written by Bradbury about his writing process and some of the more popular works he’s published. I honestly felt really inspired and motivated after reading this, I highly recommend it especially for creative writers, but just be warned it is very oriented around the white male experience.

Heartstopper Volume 2 by Alice Oseman– I adore Heartstopper and I love this second volume. Great progression in the relationship between Nick and Charlie, and we’re getting to see more outside of their relationship and into their friendships and family dynamics, too. I still love Tori Spring!

The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle– Finally got a hold of the MASSIVE audiobook where Stephen Fry narrates all the Holmes stories, and it honestly made the experience so much more enjoyable. I think Doyle’s skill lies more in shorter fiction than longer fiction, I think there’s less opportunity for… not useless, per se, just unneeded waffling.

Giant Days Volume 9 and 10 by John Allison– These two volumes take place around the tailend of the girl’s second years and follows their accommodation location, the progression (and breakdown) of relationships, and them finally making it to third year intact. I honestly can’t believe there’s only three or four volumes left in this series, its been a constant companion for me since 2016 when I first started and I really don’t want to let it go.

No Touching At All and Even So, I Will Love You Tenderly by Kou Yoneda– Of the ‘older’ manga I’ve read that focus on the relationships between two men, these two are definitely in the ‘recommend’ pile. Other than the beautiful names for the volumes and the artwork being really pretty, I really enjoyed the developing relationships and the conversations had about workplace homophobia and ostracization in Japan, although that wasn’t the main focus. They do include some questionable attitudes towards identification of sexuality– two characters in both volumes are probably bisexual or on that spectrum, but are referred to as straight more than once for liking women and only the man they enter the relationship with. It’s complicated, but nothing in either volumes ever feels targeted or hateful, just lacking education on the nuances of sexuality.

Articles

I found this article about Friends great as it breaks down issues I’ve had with the show for years. I don’t have a lot of attachment to it, honestly, I mostly just put it on in the background, but I think I’ll stop now. I’ve always found the handling of gender and sexuality damaging in Friends, as well as the overwhelming fatphobia.

I really enjoyed looking through this list The Guardian did of the 100 best books of the 21st century. I don’t know why, I’m just a big fan of lists!

Before reading this article, I can honestly tell you I knew nothing about Susan Sontag beyond her name. It’s deconstructing her queerness and how her aversion to accepting her own sexuality ultimately ruled a lot of the work she produced in her life.

God, this article was fascinating. I can’t even tell you what it’s about, really, other than that it’s an interview with Christeene, a punk drag artist who is just really cool, honestly. There are some buttholes for anyone who… wants to avoid butts? Or reading this at work?

There was a massive conversation in August that carried into September regarding the rise in men adopting pseudonyms to get their thriller novels published. This Atlantic article particularly captured the issues I have with men who do this, who are almost trying to fool an audience of women who trust women writers to not approach the suffering of women through a misogynistic lens, as is so common in modern society.

An older article by The New Inquiry, Coming out of the Coffin offers an insight into the fraught relationship between Bram Stoker and Oscar Wilde. A really interesting read, I’m just sad I discovered it 7 years after its release!

THINGS I WATCHED

I don’t do music sections on these wrap ups anymore, so I’ll put this here: the GRAACE cover of ‘Complicated’ by Avril Lavigne completely transforms the song and adds such an amazing depth to it

I decided to binge watch Fleabag and it’s most definitely the best decision I’ve made all year. Fleabag follows the titular woman as she navigates her life as a thirty year old woman whose entire life is in flux, and has been since the death of her mother. There’s a lot I could say about this show, honestly. What really stood out to me was how much I could relate specifically to the emotions Fleabag and her older sister Claire feel in relation to each other, and their grief. Seeing them still come back together even after such a significant loss, their dependency, really gives me strength to get through what I’m experiencing at the moment, so Fleabag has been something I can relate to and look at as hope for a future where I can begin to wrap my head around the terrible things going on around me.

THINGS I POSTED

August Wrap Up

TTT: Books Outside My Comfort Zone

50 Bookish Questions Tag

Music I Enjoyed This Summer

Connie’s Personal 101 Guide For Personal Survival of University

Bookshelf Tour Part 3: TBR & More Manga/Comics

Book Review: I Call Upon Thee by Ania Ahlborn

TTT: Books on my Fall TBR

Book Review: Alice Isn’t Dead by Joseph Fink

Bookshelf Tour Part 4: CDs&DVDs

If you liked this post, consider buying me a coffee? Ko-Fi.

Goodreads|Twitter|Instagram|Letterboxd

September Wrap Up This is going to be a really difficult introduction to my wrap up. Unfortunately, on September 18th my dad passed away.

#2019 #articles #book review #film #music #reading wrap up #tv

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problemsofabooknerd · 6 years

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My Favorite F/F Romances

Pride Day 16!

Check out the intro to my Pride project here.

Listen, I’m gay as hell and I love a good book about two ladies falling in love. That’s it, that’s my full list of requirements for things that INSTANTLY make me happy in a book. Today I’m talking about lady love, and lots of it, so get out a notebook or just be ready to open up lots of Goodreads pages because I’m talking about f/f romances and why I love them.

Not Your Sidekick by C.B. Lee - Abby & Jess

This f/f romances sticks out to me forever and always because of how awkward and earnest it is. It’s a highschool romance with superpowers, yes, but it’s also about two nerdy girls who are super hardcore crushing on each other but don’t totally know how to acknowledge it, and I live for that. Honestly, Jess and Abby work for me because they’re super adorable and we all know it.

Everything Leads to You by Nina LaCour - Emi & Ava

This was the first book I ever read about ladies falling in love that made me fully swoon, because they are soft and they are the most aesthetic-y wlw in the world, god help me. They are invested in learning about one another, about gaining a deeper understanding of where they are each coming from, and in making space for the other in their life. I love them I love them.

Of Fire and Stars by Audrey Coulthurst - Denna & Mare

So I’ve talked about my love for retellings in another post this month, and I feel like it’s pretty easy to guess that mixed in with my love for retellings and fairy tales I must have a fondness for princesses. Yes, I do. You know what’s better than one princess? Two princesses falling in love with each other. Thus why Denna & Mare occupy 90% of my heart at a given time. Don’t even talk to me about the first time they hold hands, it’s been two years and I’m still not over it.

The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo by Taylor Jenkins Reid - Evelyn & Celia

I can’t really talk about this as much, but lord the number of times I cried over these two is.... a lot.... it’s a looooooot. They’re good, great, wonderful, and fantastic. And so is this book, don’t let the remarkably heterosexual title fool you. It’s gay as hell, and I don’t plan on ever recovering.

The Color Purple by Alice Walker - Celie & Shug

The whole center and heart of this book is Celie’s long-term struggle with the men in her life, finding her own strength, and eventually knowing that she can survive on her own. But along that journey, finding Shug and learning new ideas about God and life and love is so essential, and I think it’s their longterm ups and downs that really define my love for these two. They aren’t a perfect couple, they go through so many things, but they are stronger for knowing each other and that is my shit right there.

Jane, Unlimited by Kristin Cashore - Jane & Ivy

I just knew that when a girl-meets-girl romance began with a conversation about Doctor Who that it would be all I would ever need. Throw in some Harry Potter, and a very light Lord of the Rings reference and I’m suitably done for. They’re both living in a world of really high drama and manage to be adorable and nerdy at all times, which makes them perfection in every way.

How To Make a Wish by Ashley Herring Blake - Eva & Grace

Soft girlfriends make me soft inside, so you can only imagine what this book did to me. Eva & Grace work because they are both going through extreme emotional times, but they’re supportive and nice and they help make each other laugh when they need that moment. Also they have cute ass dates, so that’s overwhelming for sure.

The Summer of Jordi Perez (And the Best Burger in Los Angeles) by Amy Spalding - Abby & Jordi

More like *the summer of creative lesbians who are super inspired by their romantic partner* I mean wow. This is like my ultimate aesthetic: super upbeat, bright lesbian falls for all black-wearing, dramatic artsy lesbian. Plus they also go on cute ass dates, a previously established mega-weakness of mine. The two of them being thoughtful and picking out fun activities they just know the other will love, then watching their date the whole time in wonder at her beauty and fascination?? Oh my god??? Pure?????

Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Cafe by Fannie Flagg - Ruth & Idgie

It’s weird how this soft, aesthetic heavy book about a small town in the south is also about murder and also about ladies falling in love. The thing with Ruth and Idgie is that their love is incredibly subtle, and goes mostly unconfirmed. It’s clearly there (I mean, they live one damn domestic life together) but it isn’t really discussed by the people around them. I just think it’s soft, and it’s an undying dedication to one another, and it’s a deep form of caring that I love with all my heart.

That’s all for today! I hope you appreciated my gushing. I feel like I’ve been so lucky to live in a time with so many more f/f romances, but I’m constantly on the lookout for more so please let me know what some of your favorite f/f romances in books are. And keep an eye out for my next post about my favorite m/m romances, coming soon!

#pride #pride 2018 #f/f #lgbtiqa+#queer books #book recs

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myheartswdw-blog · 6 years

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words i didn’t say | all

masterlist • requests

requested? : yes

“Another song preference with song “Words I Didn’t Say””

song lyric preference of “words i didn’t say” - his pov

warnings : none that i know of

wdw boy x reader

j.a | “see i can’t live without you i hope you’ll forgive me.”

she slammed the door to our flat. i sighed sitting down on the couch. i know she was just trying to help, i didn’t know what came over me.

tick...tick...tick

hours have passed, nothing from y/n. i stared at the door waiting for y/n to walk through it. but she didn’t. i called her once more.

hey its y/n sorry i missed your call. leave a message. beep

i stared at the wall replaying our conversation, her hurt voice ringing through my head. my heart hurt because of her absence. slight panic filled me at the thought of never getting her back.

it was my fault, i blocked her out. she was just worried.

i never knew i was capable of feeling so much for someone, and i couldn’t lose her. just then the door opened and closed quietly, in walking a tired y/n. i ran to her.

“i’m sorry.” was all i could manage to say.

“jack, please leave me alone.” she said, lightly pushing me away while she took off her shoes.

“i didn’t mean to hurt you. i swear.” i choked out.

“i don’t want to start this again.” she told me, “i’m tired.”

“just please don’t leave me, i can’t afford it.” my voice cracking..

she looked at me for the first time in hours. our eyes locked, “i won’t ever leave you.” she whispered, wiping away the tear that had fallen.

“forgive me?” i asked, grabbing her small hands in mine.

she took in a shaky breath. “okay.” relief washed over me.

“i forgive you.”

z.h | “i lie here awake thinking of all the games i played.”

i tossed and turned in the night. the bed was so empty, how could i sleep? i turned to face the bed side clock.

2:28 am

i groaned, turning so i was laying flat on my back, now staring at the ceiling. all i could think of was y/n. how much i hurt her, and how much i miss her. if i could go back and be a better person for her, i would in a heartbeat.

why did i have to be so selfish? why did i have to play with her heart like that? closed my eyes letting the last memory i have with her play.

“i can’t keep doing this zach.”

“what do you mean?” i responded to her like i was clueless.

“don’t play dumb, you know i can’t keep being on and off with you. you let me fall in love with you and then you leave. i’m not sticking around for you games anymore. i can’t. it’s too hard to feel this much for someone and have them not even care.” and with that she walked out of the house. out of my life.

but little did she know i did care. i cared so much. i just never showed it.

d.s | “all of my priorities never put you in my plans.”

“can we talk daniel.” i heard y/n’s soft voice appear. i look up the see her standing in the doorway.

“can it wait?” i asked, “i really need to work, i don’t have the time to waste.” i saw the hurt in her eyes as the words left my mouth. she didn’t say a word, just turned around and left.

the next morning i awoke before her, i saw on the calendar we had a lunch date, but i had to go to the studio, i wiped off the marker note and left, not caring about our plans.

i arrived home to a quiet house.

“y/n.” i shouted, i’m home.” nothing.

i went into the kitchen setting the keys on the counter when i saw a note.

“daniel,

i’m sorry, but i couldn’t do this anymore. after you erased the date today, it was the last straw. i get it, you’re busy, but you should understand that having me as a girlfriend is also a priority sometimes. clearly, you didn’t understand that. maybe one day you will, but until then i’m staying elsewhere. hopefully this is only a temporary adjustment. let me know when you’re ready to make time for us. for me.

- y/n”

i sighed, setting the note back down. it finally hit me. she was important and i needed her. i really messed up.

j.m | “till you walked away ‘cause of the words i didn’t say.”

“just say it jonah!” she shouted, she was hurt. “tell me you love me and i’ll stay.”

i opened my mouth to speak, but nothing came out. she let out a broken chuckle.

“that’s all i needed.” she said blankly before grabbing her keys and slamming the door, shaking the whole house. i quickly ran after her, but she was gone.

she walked away because of the words i didn’t say.

c.b | “guilty of breaking your heart.”

i walked into the coffee shop, eyes scanning the room when they fell on y/n. we had broken up only days ago, and i had someone else. guilt rushed through my body. she looked up and met my gaze. i saw her broken eyes.

she quickly stood up grabbing her things before rushing past my and my new girl. i saw the tears streaming down her face. breaking her heart was the last thing i wanted to do.

deep down, i didn’t want to be with the girl who was snuggled up to me now, in all honestly, she was just a distraction from y/n. all i wanted was to run after y/n and just kiss her. but i couldn’t. it was too late.

jonah’s is short but ouch that hurt

#jack avery #zach herron #daniel seavey #jonah marais #corbyn besson #wdw #why dont we #why don't we #imagines #preferences #song preferences #requested #sad #heartbroken #feels

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the-canary · 6 years

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Ophiuchus - C.B

Summary: The stars are there for a reason. (Implied! Reader/Chris Beck)

A/N: Yo! Chris Beck noonie, this is for you. I hope I did him some justice. First time writing for him. I like stars, it should be evident -- more about this constellation can be found here. This has also be brought to you by Patricia by Florence + the Machine. (i have no sense of self-control).

Please enjoy and feedback would be nice!

Masterlist

“You’re a rare star, Chris. You’re meant for so much.”

His grandmother had told him that once and a young Christopher Beck had believed him wholeheartedly. He was a soft fool at heart who followed his dreams, to going into medical school, to going into space. His grandmother saw other things, more romantic things as he grew older but he didn’t think of them too often when persuing his heart’s desire.

“Opiuchus on your right wrist, such a rare constellation. You’ll long for love, but it won’t come until you need it, darling.”

Love, it’s not something he thought about often not until it fails with Beth (Andromeda on her left shoulder blade, an elderly voice chastises him in the back of his head) as soon as they land back on Earth, not until NASA demotes all the crew for a year. Not until he finds out his grandmother died on his year above, but oh so proud of him until her last breathes. Chris Beck has achieved a lot of things in his life, but there is still a lot of things missing. And now, love — he longs for it.

“Dr. Beck,” a voice breaks him out of his reverie as he looks up from his desk. A bright smile on her face, “Is everything all right?”

She wasn’t an astronaut, but she had helped with formulas and the mathematics of missions from time to time when she wasn’t teaching. It was by total accident, that they had met, both crashing into each other in one of the many hallways when their head were stuck in books, and eventually apologizing profusely to each other. It lead to talks and finding commonalities among the things they enjoyed -- astrology and old movies. Eventually, they started having lunch at least once a week, Chris enjoyed it more than he would like to admit it.

“Sorry, just thinking,” he explains with a sheepish smile, she nods since he did so often.

She moves her feet back and forth for a moment, while pushing a piece of her back. It’s flicker that he sees the freckles over the expanse of her wrist, splattered in a patter he knows too well. He wonders how he had never seen it before, but it’s probably because she was accustom to wearing cardigans in the spring. She was only just starting to wear short-sleeved blouses as the hotter weather kicked in.

“Are you still up for lunch?” she asks nervously, biting her bottom lip. Chris wonder why, as she explains, “Dr. Johan-- I mean, some of the Ares Crew is here today. If you wanted to cancel, I completely understand.”

Beth. Was she afraid of her?

Chris frowns, “I can catch up with them later, besides you promised to show me your new research paper.”

“Oh! Yeah, yeah,” she perks up at his explanation, “Should we get going then?”

“How about we go to the Cuban place outside today,” he questions, as she smiles.

“That sounds great,” she nods, as he gets up and the starts walking towards the entrance. Blue eyes can’t help but keep looking at her left wrist.

“Is something wrong, Dr. Be--?” she begins to question once more, her face showing her confusion, as he can’t help but smile -- shyness slowly disappearing at the confirmation that what he had been looking for was right in front of him this whole time.

“Chris,” he says with a grin.

“Excuse me?”

“Please call me Chris,” he reconfirms as she stops walking for a moment. She flustered at the sudden change, but a small smile blooms on her face as she nods before she starts walking again, saying that he should do the same as well.

“Asclepius on your love’s left wrist, the balm to heal your soul. Just you wait, Chris.”

And like always, Chris lets the stars guide him and find what he has been looking for.

#chris beck #chris beck x reader #christopher beck x reader #chris beck fan fic #chris beck fanfic #chris beck drabble #drabble asks #series: short stories #fabiola trying to write

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neverendingtbrlist90 · 7 years

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Fall 2017 Pride Readings

Fall is finally here and with it comes LGBT History Month in October. To celebrate, I’ve compiled a list of books with queer main characters. All books have been/will be published in the second half of 2017. Feel free to add more titles!

The Gallery of Unfinished Girls by Lauren Karcz- A young artist must take care of herself and her younger sister when her mother rushes off to Puerto Rico to take care of her grandmother who has fallen into a coma. She’s also falling in love with her best friend. While struggling with her art, a new neighbor introduces her to the Red Mangrove Estate, an artists’ colony. The catch? No art can leave the Estate.

Little and Lion by Brandy Colbert- Colbert’s sophomore novel is about a black, Jewish, bisexual girl named Suzette and her brother Lionel who fall in love with the same girl. Lionel struggles with bipolar disorder and adjusting to his medication. If you haven’t read Colbert’s first novel, Pointe, run to your nearest bookstore/ereader and buy it! It’s amazing!

Dress Codes for Small Towns by Courtney Stevens- This book holds a special place in my southern, living in the small town, queer heart. Billie is the daughter of a preacher in a small Kentucky town, and she loves her community and her group of friends called the Hexagon. The group bands together to save the community’s fall festival and Billie struggles to find the space she needs to understand and express her gender and sexuality. It’s easily one of my favorite books of this year!

They Both Die in the End by Adam Silvera- Title tells you everything. Silvera’s third novel has already hit the NYT bestseller list and I’ve heard it’s just as amazing as History is all you Left Me and More Happy Than Not. Features two Latino boys who become friends after they both receive a call that they’ll both be dead within 24 hours. I haven’t read it yet, but if it’s anything like Silvera’s other books, I’ll need a box of tissues close by.

Mask of Shadows by Linsey Miller- A genderfluid teen wants revenge after losing everyone and everything that’s ever mattered to them. Sal decides to audition for the Left Hand, the queen’s elite group of assassins, but to earn their place, Sal must compete in a fight to the death.

Girls Made of Snow and Glass by Melissa Bashardoust- Who wants to read a retelling of Snow White where she’s a lesbian? This book is a duel POV between Lynet (Snow White) and Mina(the stepmother) who are only alive because of Mina’s dangerous and powerful father, who gave her a heart of glass.

I Hate Everyone But You by Gaby Dunn and Allison Raskin- Two best friends part ways as they head off to college and communicate through texts and emails and share their new experiences. Ava struggles with anxiety and steps out of her shell for new experiences and maybe finding her first boyfriend while Gen explores her sexuality and falls for her TA.

Autoboyography by Christina Lauren- Tanner was an out and proud bi boy until his family moves to Utah. But then his best friend dares him to take a senior seminar class where he must write a book and falls in love with his teacher’s son.

Spinning by Tillie Walder- Walder’s graphic memoir is about her ten years of figure skating and now much she hated it.

Release by Patrick Ness- A guy who is from a strict, religious family examines his past relationship to determine why he why’s unable to reciprocate the love given to him by a sweet guy named Linus and thinks an attachment to a guy who broke is heart might be the problem.

Kaleidoscope Song by Fox Benwell – Two girls, Neo and Tale, living in South Africa meet a bar and bond over the love of music. Possible trigger warning- addresses corrective rape.

Wild Beauty by Anna-Marie McLemore (Oct 3)- You should read all of McLemore’s amazing books, but her newest is about three girl cousins who come from a family who tends to a magical garden. They find themselves falling for the same girl but fear a family curse where everyone they love disappears. Then a boy appears who has no idea who he is and Estrella, one of the cousins, tries to help him discover his identity.

Top Ten by Katie Cotugno (Oct 3)- Two best friends, Gabby and Ryan, are seniors whose platonic relationship becomes complicated as they begin to fall for each other and examine the top moments of their friendship over the past four years.

Not Your Villain by C.B. Lee (Oct 5) – Sequel to Not Your Sidekick. This book revolves are Bells, a trans guy with superpowers (he can shapeshift!) as he teams up with his friends who go on a mission to find the Resistance opposing a corrupt league of superheroes.

Echo After Echo by Amy Rose Capetta (Oct 10) – a girl named Zara wins the role of Echo at the Aurelia theater, but her dream role becomes a nightmare with mysterious deaths, dangerous legends, and an intense director. She finds herself falling for a name named Eli who works in lighting! Theater romance! Everyone who received an ARC of this book has said amazing things about it!

Like Water by Rebecca Podos (Oct 17) - Savannah returns to her small town to care for her father who has Huntington’s disease. She keeps herself occupied with hookups and a job at a waterpark dressed as a mermaid, and finds herself falling for a girl named Leigh. This is Podos’ debute novel and I’m impatiently waiting to read it.

A Line in the Dark by Malinda Lo (Oct 17) – I fell in love with Lo’s novels after reading her queer Cinderella retelling, Ash. She’s written fantasy (Ash and Huntress) and science fiction (Adaption and Inheritance) and now she’s tackling a contemporary thriller . So Jess is secretly in love with her best friend Angie, who is completely oblivious. Angie hooks up a with a girl named Margo, a girl from boarding school whose social circle pulls Jess into some trouble.

Changing Colors by Elyse Springer (Oct 23) – I’m actually going to plug all of Springer’s romance novels because they’re amazing and I’ve read all of them. Changing Colors is the fourth book in her series Seasons of Love. But while you’re at it, you should check out White Out, featuring a gay couple, Thaw, about an ace girl who falls for a model/actress ice queen, Heat Wave, two bisexual girls have a no strings attached relationship and of course one of them develops feelings. There’s also Heels Over Head, which is about an Olympic hopeful diver who falls for one of his teammates.

Girl in a Bad Place by Kaitlin Ward (Oct 31) – Author of Bleeding Earth returns with another creepy tale with queer girls! Okay, so here’s the breakdown of her sophomore novel: So this girl, Cara, finds this commune in the mountains called Haven, and spends a lot of time there. Her best friend, Mailee, is pretty sure Haven is a cult but of course Cara won’t listen and decides to move in Haven permanently! Sounds like a horrible idea, right?

#LGBT literature #LGBT books #ya lgbt #queer YA #queer lit

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