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#Buckle up (literally)
jtl-fics · 1 year
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Fluent Freshman - Part 09
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Thanksgiving dinner really wasn’t that bad. It’d been years since FF had been to one as lively as this.
Kevin is loud and demanding when it comes to what needs to be on the TV and the exact perfect schedule to catch all of the Exy games being played. Wymack brought bourbon and has put it on the highest shelf in Abby’s kitchen right next to where Abby put the second pie for the exact same reason: Keep Andrew out of it. The Monsters and FF all get roped into helping Abby prep the meal.
He’s told that usually there are more people staying over Thanksgiving but this year more had gone home or gone to friend’s homes to celebrate. The only ones there are the Monsters, FF, and Jack.
Jack sits sullenly on the couch no matter what task Abby tries to give him.
Eventually, potatoes are mashed, turkeys are carved with appropriate knives, corn is creamed, macaroni is cheesed, canned cranberries have been de-canned, and the stuffing is…there on the table.
“Dig in!” Abby says not bothering with grace.
It’s good.
FF still misses his grandma’s cooking. It’s nice to have this loud Thanksgiving like he used to get but there’s something special about helping his grandma in the kitchen and the two of them sitting down to eat.
He definitely misses his grandma’s company when Jack starts to loudly complain about every last food item that Abby has so graciously laid out for them.
Wymack & Captain Neill both tell him to knock it off and threaten grueling exercises when practice starts back up while Andrew just threatens him with a knife multiple times to shut him up but FF can see Jack looking in the kitchen as he sits in silence after Andrew not so stealthily held a knife to his ribs.
Jack is looking at his grandma’s pie up on the top shelf.
Jack is going to complain about his grandma’s pie.
He looks at the Monsters and knows that there is only one person at this table who can POSSIBLY stop him is the person that FF fears the most.
Still….
He figures Andrew owes him a final request before he’s murdered in a basement, secondary location or (a new option he thought of on the way over to Abby’s in Andrew’s absurdly nice car), a secondary location’s basement.
“I want you to stop Jack from having any of my grandma’s pie.” He says in German drawing the attention of Aaron, Nicky, and Neil. Andrew blinks at him but says nothing so he continues. “If he says something mean about it then I’ll lose it.” He says.
FF means that if Jack insults his grandma’s pie that she had managed to get to him through some sort of grandmotherly wizardry then FF will burst into tears. He’s got what doctor’s call leaky eyes and there is no cure for these bad boys. He knows he’ll try to defend his grandma’s pie from whatever issue Jack will take with it but he also knows that he will be sobbing during that defense.
Andrew hears that and thinks that he might finally get to witness what FF looks like when he’s angry. From Kevin’s screaming, to Jack’s taunts, to Andrew’s own barbs, he has yet to see FF get mad. FF’s ability to stay in his own lane and regulate his emotions is one of the reasons that Andrew considers him a friend. He thinks about the bags under FF’s eyes and how desolate he had looked staring down at the ‘CANCELLED’ notification on his phone.
Andrew is getting into the art of doing something nice. For a friend.
He gives FF a singular nod and pulls one of his knives out of his arm bands and makes his way over to the pie. He ignores some various questions from the other, irrelevant.
“I want a slice at least!” Nicky demands and he nods as he cuts up the pie into seven normal sized slices. He puts each on a plate and Neil, every understanding of Andrew’s intentions, hands them out to the Monsters, FF, Wymack, and Abby.
“Good, finally get to try this stupid pie.” Jack says and Andrew levels a knife that has an apple slice slowly sliding off of it at Jack’s face.
“People who can’t appreciate the free dinner don’t get to have dessert.” He says and watches as Jack’s face goes through an entire range of emotions, “You saw what I could do to a turkey. I have no problem doing it to you if you try anything.” He says and Jack goes white before he trudges out of the dining area entirely.
Andrew watches him go before picking up the remainder of the pie (nearly a quarter) and making his way over to the fridge.
FF pipes up, “Try it without the ice cream first.” He says because even if he likes his pie à la mode the first bite has to be pure pie.
Andrew shrugs and eats the apple pie filling off of the knife.
It’s immaculate.
It’s the best pie that Andrew has ever tasted in his life and he has tasted some pies.
He has no idea what Jack would have complained about other than the fact that FF had an entire one of these all to himself. This pie had travelled across the continental United States and tasted like this. Andrew can only imagine what it is like when it is coming fresh out of the oven.
He grabs the ice cream from the fridge and watches everyone else try the first bite of FF’s grandma’s pie.
“I want to meet your grandma and shake her hand.” Wymack says eyes closed even as his hand reaches for some bourbon.
“I want to your grandma to adopt me.” Nicky says.
“She can adopt both of us if it means pies like this.” Aaron agrees.
“This is good.” Kevin says as he continues to eat it.
“Really good.” Neil agrees.
“Maybe she could share the recipe with me. I’d love to make this.” Abby says as she drinks a glass of milk.
“Thanks, she’ll be happy to hear it.” FF’s shoulders loosen as he puts away his own slice quickly.
There is some grumbling as Andrew hoards the rest of the pie himself and only gives bites to Neil. “I wonder if we should get the whipped cream out for it?” Neil asks him in Russian.
Andrew frowns and considers it for a long moment, “We have plans for that whipped cream tonight and the stores will be closed.” He says back in the same language. FF has paused in eating the last of his slice. “Problem?” He asks.
“Last bite.” FF responds back immediately and Andrew lets it go unaware that FF had spent 2 seconds wondering how whipped cream would play into whatever torture device Andrew was going to shove him into the second they arrived in Columbia before realizing that it was a sex thing.
He lets his hand go into his pocket and rub the paper of his grandma’s note to him.
It’s not a bad last meal.
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NEXT
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loudclan-clangen · 5 months
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Fine. I give in. Here’s my clangen blog.
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genericpuff · 6 months
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I'm ready to be emotionally destroyed by Demeter content in the future.
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princesskkfish · 10 months
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@intotheelliwoods >:0 this is for punching me with that update/pos
*runs away giggling*
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Immediately after I finished reading it this clearly came into my head so ye this exists now :]]
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trashlie · 28 days
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ILY FP 258
I can't believe we're actually passed episode 250 lmao I Love Yoo is truly the never ending story (affectionate). I appreciate how much of the story we really get to dig into at this pace and while I know a lot of people have long-since dropped it, I imagine the rest of us (those reading this post because why else are you here?) also appreciate it. And that's what is even more refreshing about this episode - if refreshing is even a word we can use to describe it. Getting the extra scenes from other characters, a look at their lives and from these glimpses, what we can glean in the unsaid between the lines.
Can you believe I used to prey on Kousuke's downfall? There's so many posts of me talking about him from a different view, believing that the only way he could grow and develop and make the changes necessary to make him a better person was for him to crash and burn, to fail so significantly that he would be forced to pen his eyes to reality. But here we are, me, fervently swaddling him up like a baby and shoving him into my pocket because GOD he needs to be protected.
I don't even remember when it was, that my view on him began to shift, when I went from "he's interesting but awful" to "GOD THIS IS MY SON AND I WILL FIGHT EVERYONE YOU HAVE TO GO THROUGH ME" but.... lol there's no going back!
That's enough rambling, let's jump in.
There is something so painfully devastating about every time ILY confirms to us something we have long-since known or suspected through nuance, foreshadowing, reading between the lines, etc: That Kousuke isn't Rand's biological son, that Shinae was at the formal for Gun Kim, that Kousuke has been manipulated his whole life. Nothing in this episode regarding Kousuke is actually new to us. We have known, and talked about, for months and months long before the confirmation reveal that Yui drugs Kousuke - that he has been manipulated by her his entire life, that she orchestrated his life to manipulate him into situations she could take advantage of. It's the way she spoke about Rand's affair around Kousuke, the way she commodified Rand's love so Kousuke became convinced he'd never earned his father's love, the way she spoke of their family vs others and convinced him from such a young age that everyone was out to get them, to destroy them, and that he couldn't let them get close, couldn't let them near - and how Nol was very much a target planted in his mind.
But it's the fact that he is speaking of this and acknowledging it! Until now, Kousuke has heavily lived in denial. Again, we know this. We talk a lot about the chasm between reality and the reality he believes in. We talk a lot about how Kousuke couldn't face reality, even though on some level he knew everything he believed and was told was not quite true not quite real, but that he was so afraid of the truth, he couldn't do it. Kousuke admitting that he's been driven by fear and envy explains everything about him, and why he could not accept the only unwavering unconditional love he was offered.
A few weeks ago I saw a video on instagram of this father talking about a conversation he had with his daughter, who was feeling a little uncomfortable with her friend group. A new girl started to play with her and her best friend and she said she wasn't exactly jealous, but that maybe it was that she was afraid that there wasn't enough love to go around. Her dad had to explain to her that love is not like a pizza - it's not finite, a limited amount that could be taken and hogged by someone else. But Kousuke never learned this. His father's love was commodified and he was made to fear this other kid who he mistakenly believed knew a version of his father he'd never been privy to. He never learned that love is finite, that Rand could have enough love for the both of them, and feared that Nol would hog it all - that he WAS hogging it all because whether or not it was good or bad, Nol received more attention that Kousuke did. And that speaks VOLUMES about how Kousuke sees Rand, what he thinks of their relationship. In his mind, he is still unworthy, that he's not noteworthy enough.
This part gets to me so badly. We, as omniscient readers, know that Rand has tried his best, but that Yui runs a spectacular interference with which he can't compete, largely because of the roles their family have placed them in - Rand the busy businessman, Yui the mommy homemaker. But no matter how hard he tries, it isn't good enough. Rand tries to reach Kousuke, but the manipulation and paranoia are so far gone that the times Rand does have the chance to convey his feelings, Kousuke can't even believe it, because he thinks he's not good enough to deserve that love, that he hasn't fully qualified for it yet. And despite that, Nol, who Kousuke feels hasn't done half of what he has to deserve Rand's love, gets the attention. It doesn't matter that it's negative attention, that Rand barks at Nol, that Nol feels Rand hates and regrets him, because ultimately, it's still more than Kousuke receives. And worse, to him, every time Rand is busy reprimanding Nol, he turns away from Kousuke to do it.
I want to make it clear that this is a deep trauma point of Kousuke's. He's never learned healthy love and the only person who gave him healthy love was someone he was set to fear and fight. Something I think about a lot is the flashback to Kousuke, in the bushes, watching Nessa and Nol's display of warm affection, before Yui appears literally looming before him. In that moment, he witnesses something he's been deprived of. "We're not like other families"'. He's told from a young age he shouldn't compare himself to those healthy families, to warm and affectionate relationships that he will not cultivate in this household. From such a young age it is normalized, that they aren't like others, that they are cold and distant. From a young age, he's made to stuff down his feelings, his tender wants and desires, in order to earn them. To be a good little boy who makes his parents proud. To make his father look his way.
There's also something about the way he says "I've been a good boy" that echoes Shinae learning she's been manipulated by Yui, devastated and angry and yelling about how she's been a good girl so why do these things keep happening to her, all she wanted to do was help her dad. Two people who, from a young age, felt they had to be so obedient, so good, to not be a burden, and despite following the rules, despite doing as they were told, despite trying to be whatever version of "good" they believed in, the world still beat them up and mistreated them. The world still punished them.
As Rin in our discord server pointed out, though, to some degree, Kousuke is very much a person who can - and does - act out, when he's emotionally high-strung. He's a volatile man, and it's largely to do with the fact that he's been drugged to placate him for so long. He never learned emotional regulation, he never learned how to deal with high-stress situations or to face conflict or to own up to things. This is something that some readers who hate Kousuke and expect him to act a certain way because of his age are missing. You don't just learn these things with age. You learn them with experience and Kousuke was deprived of the opportunity TO have those experiences. He never had to learn these behaviors, and now as an adult he cannot function when overwhelmed.
Idk this whole episode is just heartbreaking. It's devastating. I remember when I was someone praying on Kousuke's downfall and now I want to take it all back ;___; I always believed he had to crash and burn to be able to see the world for what it really was and to face his fears, but this is somehow so much worse.
And even though he's drunk, I don't think he's going to forget all of this in the morning. Rather, I think what he's voicing are things that have been plaguing him since waking up in the hospital. From that moment, we saw him wary and distrustful of his mother, we saw his concern for Nol rising above everything else, but grappling with the understanding that he doesn't deserve to stand in front of Nol anymore. These aren't epiphanies coming to him just because he's drunk; it's more like he's only voicing them because he's drunk. But even when he sobers up, he will probably still be haunted by these fears, these agonies, these truths, this understanding.
How does he face his mother after this? How does he face anyone? He may not even feel like he can trust Jayce - who while very kind to him, is still employed by his family. He may not even feel like he can trust Hansuke (though I really hope that's not the case).
He's so miserable and it genuinely hurts to have him lay it all out for us - everything we've known and suspected, like how it was so painfully clear he WANTED Nol's friendship, their brotherhood, but feared it, didn't believe that there was enough love to go around, that there could only be one of them and that even if it was for good or bad reasons, Nol cast him in the shadow. And all these years, watching as Nol, as Yeonggi, grew into this person who sounded so very much like this unknown version of their father, someone funny who makes others laugh, someone goofy, someone so boyish in the ways Kousuke was never allowed to be. Watching as he gathers friends, while Kousuke, so unlikeable, is wanted only for his money, for his status, for the clout.
He doesn't even know WHO HE IS! Questioning his own traits he's believed of himself, wondering if this is even him, if these parts of him are real or does he just act it, say it, pretend it, while trying to fulfill a role he was shoved into. That makes me feel SO deeply sad, because it's something I've been anticipating for so long: Kousuke wondering WHO he really is, how much of him is real and how much of it is the result of manipulation.
And that moment that he catches himself and says no no that's offensive and rude you can't be like that. ;AAA;
For him to admit how much he envies others, how much he craves the kind of connection others have, the kind of family others have, to feel that love and warmth that he's been deprived of, forced to endure this solitude because, as he believes, he didn't get the good parts of Rand. And what will happen when he learns that Rand isn't his father? That he never stood a chance to inherit any of those traits. Kousuke has operated on this belief that, if he tries hard enough, he can earn the things he craves, but I fear learning about his parenthood will make him think that no matter how hard he tried, he would never earn that, because none of it was ever him, could have gone to him.
I think this is where Shinae, in the future, will come in. I feel so very strongly that she will be someone who helps Kousuke to see that this isn't true, that these kinds of personality traits aren't something inherited, but rather something learned. For him to one day realize it's the paralyzing fear that holds him back, not his genetics. Of course, I acknowledge this will still take a lot of therapy but...
Something else very remarkable to me is the way Kousuke recognizes Shinae in Shinhye, because their eyes "feel the same" and he opens up to her - on some level, whether or not he is consciously aware of it, Kousuke knows, or maybe just wants to, that he can trust Shinae. That she is someone who is safe. He even knows how she feels about his mother. I don't think we'll see a lot of Kousuke and Shinae's friendship until we're passed our timeskips, but it makes me feel a little hopeful about it, that she'll be able to reach him, because she feels like someone who is safe. It's the way he sees Nol in her and wants to try to have that do over, a relationship with someone who  has unconditional love for him. It's the way he knows he mistreated Nol, that it was wrong, that he took it all out on this kid he was so afraid of because he had no other outlet, and he wants to do better but knows that there's nothing to salvage anymore.
But also, it just makes me hope more and more that in the future we WILL see a reconciliation between the brothers. As I say every time, it doesn't mean they have to become brothers or friends, but I just want them to see each other fully. Kousuke knows what he did to Nol. He doesn't deny it, even if he might not say it out loud unless he's drunk. But Nol is still so in the dark. Yujing is trying to tip him off and make him aware of it, but I hope one day when Nol realizes it, when he finds out that Kousuke, too, was Yui's victim, that he wasn't the only one, that Kousuke was made to fear Nol's love, he might.... understand. I'm saying understand here loosely because I don't want people to get the idea that I mean Nol will forgive him and Kousuke will be justified, but rather that Nol would be able to understand why Kousuke felt that way, and move on. But I can't help but hope that it will lead to an understanding, a reconciliation, where maybe they can try to be in each other's lives.
I think it's also interesting that Shinhye was somewhat honest, even if she wasn't very forthcoming, with Kousuke about her own family. It sounds like her mother has been gone for a long time, that she's been on her own the whole while, and I think it reinforces the idea that she believes both that Simhan is her father and that he rejected her, that he didn't want anything to do with her. It lines up, too, with how she feels that he wouldn't react well if he saw her (although I think she credited that to looking like their mother). In the same way that Shinae has felt abandoned and cast aside by their mother, Shinhye probably thinks their father never tried reach out, to find them, to maintain a relationship with her. Or perhaps it's that her mother fed her lies about him, made her believe him a different type of man, made her believe there would never be anything of their relationship to salvage. And given that she's the one who Kousuke opened to, it makes me think that there must be some kind of parallel there; the way she mentioned her own mother feels like maybe her mother, too, was a manipulative - or at the very least, dishonest - person.
I don't speculate a lot on Shinhye because frankly I don't think I know enough about her to really try to talk about her, but I do think that it's very likely there's some kind of connection between Shinhye and the Hirahras or Gun. To be clear, I don't believe she's working with Yui at all. I think it's more like... Alyssa isn't the only girl who has been trafficked by Gun. What's the likelihood that Shinae and Shinhye's mother was? Given her history, the gambling addiction that was so egregious her reputation haunted Shinae and chased her to a new neighborhood and school, was she seeking money somewhere else, somewhere more dangerous? Is that part of why they had to change their name? There's so many questions left about them, and I look forward to learning more about her, but, much like with Alyssa, I think it will take time and be dropped in little tidbits like this - things to read into and try to glean something from.
And maybe we'll see more of this duo in the future? It would feel a little weird to give them this one single run in, but I'm not entirely sure. Quimchee likes to keep us on our toes. After all, Minhyuk and Shinhye have also had only the one run in. Still, I think it would be interesting to watch, if Shinhye ever felt.... I want to say maybe compelled? to dig in more to Kousuke, ever feel a kind of kinship. I don't think she'll open up to him at all, but rather, maybe she'd keep going back because a. he's wealthy and there's more she can nick from him (assuming he doesn't realize she stole anything while in his apartment, if he even remembers any of this) and b. wanting to gather more intel.
Like I said though, she's hard to read so I don't want to cling too hard to any ideas and, instead, sit back and enjoy the show.
#ILY Brainrot#ILY FP#ILY Spoilers#I Love Yoo#Kousuke Hirahara#Shinhye#idk what to tag her as because we know she isn't known as Shinhye anymore#and because Simhan and their mother never married AND she was from a previous relationship Yoo isn't even her family name#so I can't really use Shinhye Yoo lol#alas#anyway this episode was DEVASTATING and quimchee said it's the beginning of the sad episodes meant to happen in March#literally said 'It's all downhill from here'#which I take to mean til the timeskip#BUCKLE UP BABIES WE'RE GOING FOR A BIG CRY SESH ;______;#i gotta say tho this episode didn't even make me cry - i guess because none of this is new and I've been bracing myself for it#Kousuke is so fucking wet cat it agonizes me ;_____;#I could write a whole essay on how Yui destroyed him and Nol in one fell swoop#i think a lot about precocious little Kousuke who tried so hard to be a good little boy and rushed through school because he wanted so badl#to hurry up and catch up to his father and join him in the workplace#all the opportunities he lost#the way he tried to fit himself into a personality a person he never picked out but just believed would get him what he wanted#he lost himself in the process#or maybe he never even got to know himself#i think too a lot about Kousuke who played piano and gave it up when he came to believe it wasn't important to his dad#that it didn't garner the attention and praise he seeked#so he dropped it to better mold himself into someone he thought Rand WOULD be proud of#FUCKING DEVASTATED#I'M GOING TO JUMP OFF THE ROOF SOBS
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clotpolesonly · 2 months
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mister impossible chapter 10 i am kissing you with tongue
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quipxotic · 3 months
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That was fun.
I will go to sleep in hope that I will not wake up to a million posts shitting on any characters or their players (or the fans of either one). Come on folks, nuanced and non-overreacting takes, I know we can do it if we try.
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good-beans · 5 months
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You talked a little while ago about why you don't think Shidou would make a good father to Amane (agreed) and proposed the idea of Mahiru adopting Amane. That's cute but I want to tell you about my post-MILGRAM headcanon:
Amane joins the Kajiyamas
Not Fuuta specifically adopting her, but like him taking her back to his family's house. I'm sure they'd have a spare room
I think people don't think about Fuuta's homelife much, or if they do they take Fuuta's one interrogation question where he calls his dad an old fogey and assume its like, abusive
And don't get me wrong, I don't think the Kajiyama household are perfect. Fuuta' beautician sister surely hasn't helped when it comes to Fuuta's body image issues and I'm betting they're all a bunch of tsunderes too embarrassed to say they love each other
But in a series where most of the abused characters are still convinced their abuser loved them/acted out of love. Seeing a guy not be afraid to call his dad a loser is almost a green flag
I think it'd be good for Amane to not necessarily be adopted as the lone child to a single parent but get to be introduced to a very different style of family unit from her own One where its normal to express different opinions or disagreements or even have arguments and not have it be the end of the world
Amane already has a snarky side to her, I bet it'd flourish in a brash household like the Kajiyama's (or at least how I imagine them to be)
OOHHH wait I love that so much! >:O
I agree -- I never interpreted Fuuta's family as abusive or harmful, just not super close and struggling a bit after his mother left. (And yeah, all as openly emotional as him😭) They seem stable and very capable to taking in a extra, very well-behaved child. Assuming Fuuta is the way he is because of them, that atmosphere of being very honest and forward would work well for her. They say things as they are, little by little pointing out the harmful parts of her worldview. Like you said, none of them make excuses about harmful behavior stemming from love, so she'd get a really healthy dose of truth in that area. She never feels coddled or treated like a baby. They care for her while treating her very maturely.
I absolutely love how well she and Fuuta get along, with that snarky side to her that you mentioned. It would allow her to fit in well in the new household, getting the sense of belonging she'll lose after leaving the cult. Also, seeing how Fuuta and his sister let things slip and aren't perfect sons/daughters, she'll be able to relax about earning a parent's love through perfect behavior. She'll probably stay exactly the same, but her stress about it will fade <3
I doubt Fuuta's father can ever replace the hole she'll have from her own father, but the addition of an older sister will be huge. Amane will never get the feeling her mother is being replaced, but the woman will still fill the gap of the older, same-gender role model she needs. Her beautician job may throw Amane at first (being an indulgence in vanity), but it isn't as in-your-face as other careers. I think she could definitely ease Amane into accepting it, and over time, accepting her own personal "indulgence."
Plus, her moving in would also be really good for Fuuta! I think he'd recognize there's a ton of fun things she missed out on, and that heroic side of him outweighs the part that cringes: he gripes and groans about going to "kid places," but he's always the one to announce "I can't believe you've never been to __, we're going right now!!" This allows him to touch grass leave the house and experience his own life to the fullest. He's able to channel his desire to help society into a healthier outlet. Also, seeing her studying habits and plans for the future might even inspire him to do the same. (might.) He becomes the stereotypical good big brother, though of course he denies it viciously...
I have recently been going insane over their friendship so I'm completely taken with this idea OUGH thank you for telling me ;-----;
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saw5 · 9 months
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for the last time the very real potential problems posed by the advent of ai-generated work are not matters of technology they are matters of the fact that you live in an economic system where you could starve to death if someone makes art better or faster or more cheaply than you
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ifwebefriends · 8 months
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Holy shit today’s episode was AMAZING!!!!! The terror I felt when I heard Dracula speak for the first time in over a month. The little sound effects like the saw on the iron bars and the maids crying. The MUSIC! QUINCEY FUCKING MORRIS’ ENTRANCE!!!!!!!!!! WITH THE GUITAR AND THE MUSIC CHANGE AHHHHHHHHH and the telegram from Arthur and VAN HELSING DEADASS TELLING SEWARD HE LOVES HIM, the subtle creepy music change when Lucy was tearing up the memorandum in her sleep, the “Forgive me, dear, if I worry you with my troubles in the midst of your own happiness,” THE SORROWFUL “Letter Unopened by Lucy Westenra”
AAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!
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hanakihan · 11 days
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in addition to Edmond Dantes and his Count version we really need heavily traumatized Dantes who legit crawled out of Fear and Hunger dungeons and not Château d’If
‘Who the fuck are you?’
‘I’m you but I saw shit beyond human’s comprehension’
Like idek it would’ve been amazing to have dantes and count and then there’s legitimately traumatized and gone beyond humanity dantes who lived and survived through horrors of fear and hunger dungeons and isn’t loud or edgelord and just a really eerily quiet and barely moving just staring at people with eyes full of trauma and unimaginable horrors
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thepastneverforgets · 1 month
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bucks takes it upon himself to go outside of his job and directly approach tommy in order to connect and create some sorta scheduled hang out session. and it isn't until eddie suddenly appears and makes it clear that he's already been hanging out and making friends with tommy that buck's jealousy comes along. and rewatching with full episode context now, it totally reads as someone jealous over their bestie hitting it off with their crush better/much sooner than they did. letting it get so far between them that one friend hurts the other over a boy
like eddie is literally just... bro-ing out with a friend who will finally play basketball with him (because his best friend's answer is always an established no) and meanwhile buck's green with envy because he's the one that wanted to shoot his shot with the pilot. eddie off to the side likely killing time during shift talking to his girlfriend on the phone and bucks just "that should be me on the phone laughing at whatever tommy is saying 😡"
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wherenymphsroam · 7 months
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i like your choices!! i love all the characters its so hard for me to decide too (i've literally wrote a fic for so many re characters at this point)!!
i love older leon too he needs more love <3 re6 leon is my top 3 istg nobody gets ittt other than you!!
re6 Leon is just…. UGH.
he reminds of soft saxophone jazz. like … he makes me wanna stay up dancing to soft jazz while sipping on some obscure alcohol in the middle of his apartment with him until ungodly hours of the night. the way he treats Helena and Ada in re6 makes me wanna eat my fist. like … he’s so inherently gentle even under all that rough and toughness he’s had to take on and just GOD he is just so lover boy coded it legitimately makes me throw up sometimes.
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like are we kidding. are we kidding. he just UGH I NEED HIM SO BAD.
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el-255 · 6 months
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Literally no one asked for this but i decided to do my ranking of NPMD songs because I’ve seen some people do it on yt. I don’t post on yt and I’m shit at video editing so here we are-
This is all my personal opinions based on how much I enjoy the songs and how often I listen to them (also partly based on the scenes, choreo, etc) so please don’t lynch me, everyone’s allowed their opinions.
This was really hard for me because I actively listen to the songs from 11 onwards and I’m likely to change my mind as I listen to the album more so take this with a grain of salt. This is probably my favourite album that Starkid’s ever done.
Do not expect any coherent comments for this ranking as I’m terrible at articulating my thoughts, but just know that all these songs are incredible and they all hold a special place in my heart.
15. Go Go Nighthawks!
I don’t dislike this song tbh just very neutral towards it. I really enjoy the “fuck you Clivesdale” portion of the song but other than that, I can’t really say I listen to it. Kim and Bryce’s splits were incredible though holy shit.
14. The Best of You
This song, like many have said, is a bit too Disney channel for me. I like the scene and Steph and Pete are a really cute couple but not really into the song.
13. Bully the Bully
I love the scene for this, Angela’s choreo is brilliant and I think it’s a cute little song. The only reason it’s this low is because I don’t really listen to it outside of watching the show.
12. Bury the Bully
OKAY THIS ONE HURTS BECAUSE IVE REALLY GROWN TO APPRECIATE THIS REPRISE AND I THINK ITS BRILLIANT, HOWEVER, similarly to bully the bully, I don’t listen to it outside of outside of the show. Unfortunately cannot rank it higher than this as I enjoy the rest of the songs more :(
11. Nerdy Prudes Must Die
I’m ashamed that this is so low just purely based on Jon’s incredible “I’m not a loser” and Will Brenner’s amazing performance, HOWEVER, I’m not as into the rest of the song so unfortunately it is ranked as it is. The scene is pure genius though holy shit. I was on the edge of my seat the whole time.
10. Cool As I Think I Am
I had a hard time deciding between 11 and 10 but cool as I think I am just took it in regards to the fact that I actually listen to this song in my own time. What can I say? I’m a sucker for Joey’s Bug type roles and solos. Goes to show how much I enjoyed the album that this song I actively enjoy is ranked so low.
9. Dirty Dudes Must Die
This was originally higher on my list but I have since grown to enjoy other songs more but make no mistake, I think this is a great ending to the show and I adore Angela’s unhinged performance as Grace. The “who will pray for you?” reprise coming from Grace of all people is *chefs kiss*.
8. If I Loved You
Mariah and Joey’s vocals willed this ranking into existence. I love a good duet between characters who are obviously attracted to each other but for some reason, are desperate to act like they aren’t. While I don’t believe this is the strongest love duet in Starkid history (that belongs to the way I do imo), I do think it’s a sweet and a catchy tune overall.
7. Cool As I Think I Am (Reprise)
I did not appreciate this song as much as i should’ve when I first watched the show, but recently I’ve been listening to it a lot more and it’s just the perfect combination of cool as I think I am and if I loved you. Absolutely devastated me upon first watch.
6. Literal Monster
Honestly, when I first watched the show, I didn’t like this song very much and was very surprised when I saw that it had one of the highest views out of the album. I’ve listened to it a lot more since then and it’s genuinely been the biggest change from my original ranking to this one now. The harmonies are incredible, Kim is as always a queen, Will Brenner’s section is so good idek what to say. But yeah, I really like this song.
5. Dirty Girl
I know this is very controversial as it is currently first place for my poll on people’s least favourite/least listened to song. Like most people, the scene makes me extremely uncomfortable BUT THE VOCALS !!!!! I genuinely love the song it’s such a banger and Angela and Will’s voices go so well together it’s actually insane. (I do still cringe every time I hear the words “dirty girl soup”).
4. High School is Killing Me
Probably the best opening Starkid has ever done. I’m a big sucker for group numbers so it has that going for it. Idk what else to say really, I just love the song.
3. Hatchet Town
I 👏 LOVE 👏 THIS 👏 SONG 👏 arguably one of the best act 2 openers, I am a sucker for group numbers as mentioned above and the tune of hatchet town is just so good. I particularly enjoy the chorus and the ending.
2. The Summoning
Need I even say more?
1. Just For Once
Probably the most controversial ranking I’ve ever done but SUE ME, I think this song is brilliant and a modern masterpiece. Someone said it gave them Falsettos vibes which absolutely contributes to why I love it so much but theres just so much else going for it. I could write a whole essay on the importance of just for once but I’ll spare you for now. All I’m going to say is that this song slaps and I will take no other answer :)
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mobius-m-mobius · 1 year
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ED HELMS - Saville Disobedience for Playboy dir. Gavin Bond
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ofalltheginjoints · 2 years
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#my fatal flaw is actually that i will never actually give anyone consequences for treating me like shit#like. you could stab me and i’d probably apologize to you#i got an uber bc i really didn’t want to wait 45min for the bus (plus the hour bus ride)#and like i literally hadn’t even buckled my seatbelt before the driver started complaining to me about how he’s losing so much money on#this trip and how lyft is screwing him over and that i should tip him $10 for his troubles and like.#i asked him if he wanted me to get out and find another one and he just kept avoiding the question#while still telling me how much this trip was costing him and quite literally making me feel like shit for requesting the ride#and i ended up changing the drop off location to somewhere that was like. closer bc i just didn’t want to be in the car anymore#and after i did that he was still going#like. i’m sitting in the back of his car on the fucking highway getting berated bc i just wanted to fucking go home after work#and you know what i did?#gave him 5 stars and 25% tip bc ‘well he shouldn’t lose his job just bc i had a bad experience’#but now im sitting here at a mall waiting for my mom to come pick me up and trying not to cry#and i wish i would’ve like. given a truthful ride review or just skipped it bc like#no i don’t want him to lose his job and if i give him one star he possibly could#but also that guy was literally being a massive dick to me and i literally tipped him for it.#i want to be a nice person always but like. i think sometimes me being nice is just letting ppl do whatever the want and being complacent#and i fucking hate it#after like a while of him going on i stopped him and was like#hey man i get its tough and i feel for you but it’s not my fault and i really don’t feel like talking rn#so im gonna put my headphones in#and this motherfucker goes ‘umm ok i mean thats kind of awkward but ok’#LIKE YOU DIDNT MAKE IT AWKWARD THE MOMENT I GOT IN YOUR CAR#expect maybe im overreacting?????????#anyway. um everything is bad and terrible rn and i just wanna go home but ive still got an hour before my mom gets off work :)#if you actually read all of this i 1) am so sorry and 2) literally love u and also im sorry
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