oh my fucking god i feel. SO stupid rn at How i didnt make the (super sane very normal just absolutely. Yes. Surely) connection earlier but uhh
so anyway im now like 89% certain that whatever the "traces" of the narwhal that remain on ajax and facilitate their (ever-growing) innate connection are like. an actually fundamental aspect of it (them?) more or less.
why? because if you consider its pov just for a moment. the narwhal was literally about to depart teyvat for good. it had nearly finished consuming the primordial sea and preparing to breach surface to finish the job by eating the french for the leftovers their human bodies were made from. its an interstellar voyager it does not linger on planets it devours. it goes glug glug and it leaves.
and like if it wasnt for traveler intervening its confirmed through narzissenkreuz and renes world formula that teyvat wouldve just been destroyed. no one could have stopped the narwhal not neuvillette not focalors not anyone.
so what was the one other thing it did right before going for that french brunch? calling for ajax. getting them reunited in the primordial sea. like all the possible implications aside bc theres many different ways to speculate on the exact reasons why and the nature of that link. the point remains.
it wasnt leaving teyvat without finding him.
like the narwhal is about to fucking Dip from this cringe planet and whatever part of it that ajax carries within himself his narwhal Absolutely wanted to be reunited with. what the fuck am i supposed to read from that. hoyo???????!??! answers?!?!?!
and its not only the calling from the narwhal side itself either bc this is ALL coinciding with the growth of a 'restless power' within ajax and his vision malfunctioning (the things celestia is literally confirmed to harvest energy thru to repair its damaged authority) and his connection with the narwhal reaching an actual conscious level (arguably subconscious n emotional too bc i find it Curious his mood is poor right as the narwhal is repeatedly described as positively malding to the point its boss fight mechanic is literally a rage meter). ajax' power is growing. his destiny is starting to shift and something is drawing him to fontaine... right as the narwhal is getting close to finished with the primordial sea. funny how it overlaps eh. how it aligns 🤨🤨 why are they orbiting each other like this (they should kiss)
(& not to even Mention how ajax just Happened to get that absolutely exponential and borderline unbelievable feat of power spike in extending his foul legacy endurance as massively as he did. while. within the primordial sea. with his narwhal. who had at that point all but incorporated the power of that sea into itself. i s2g if childe was getting passive home turf co-op bonus exp with a 4x multiplier automatically the whole 40+ days 💀💀)
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With the tentative and rough translations out, i have to say, yeah, Hori really doesn't get what he's actually writing and if he was trying to make Toga's entire deal a metaphor for queerness, he's ended up being quite offensive.
Like first off it seems he has Toga say she falls in love easily with boy and girls and...animals. Which, I always felt the bird thing as a kid could have negative connotations, but wrote it off as 'she was a little kid and this was before her desire for blood was wrapped up in her romantic feelings' type things. So having Hori reinstate that yes, she does still love animals to the point of blood drinking desire--a desire Hori coded as sexual/romantic is not a good look.
It also just makes me question if she could ever own a pet or if she'd end up killing it because she loved it to much and she needed to drink it's blood.
Also getting her perspective on the boy she attacked isn't great either. The translation is rough and basic so it could change, but I don't think there's any translation that could make the situation not read poorly.
In the rough translations she says something along the lines of "I didn't ask to drink his blood because I was afraid he'd hate me and think I was a decent monster."
I could see an alternative translation being "I asked for his blood and he called me a deviant monster, and I sucked his blood."
Again if Hori is trying to make a queer metaphor with Toga, this is a huge issue. Her attacking the boy was always a big problem, but if he didn't bring it up again I think a lot of casual readers would have forgotten it. But now it's front and center again and brings back bad connotations for Toga and a queer reading of her character.
Because again if we read her blood drinking as queerness, and Hori has already coded it in the past as lust while just last chapter confirming that Toga sees it as kissing in the very least we get two equally bad reads.
A) Due to fear of rejection Toga did not ask for consent and decided she'd just make sexual advances toward someone she had a crush regardless.
or B) She got rejected and told no, and then made the sexual advance anyway.
With a queer reading this only becomes worse because it pays into the really negative and even dangerous idea that same sex attracted people will go after anyone regardless of consent or the other persons orientation. It continues to perpetuate the idea that queer people are sexual predators, who target straight people or in the very least do not care about consent, or are unable to control themselves long enough to get it.
But even without a queer reading what Toga did is wrong. It sucks that people don't get her way of showing love, but consent is still needed regardless. You can't just do what you want to someone because you were to afraid to ask them out. You can't just do what you want with someone after they tell you no. Even if the boy had called her a monster that would not make it ok for Toga to, essentially sexually assault him (yes, kissing someone against their will is sexual assault, which is what Toga sees her blood drinking as).
And I think that's why Toga's character is really hard to get behind for some people--because at the end of the day she's literally just saying "I can't help but sexually assault people (and animals apparently)', and the solution to this is to give her exactly what she wants and apologize for not seeing how much pain she was in when she was actively trying to sexually assault people.
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So, we've had this nasty growing chronic fatigue and pain just getting worse our whole life, and it spiked dramatically in the past five years.
We finally got a doc who is both taking us seriously and knowledgeable about chronic illnesses, and she had us do a blood smear for the first time ever.
We're going to gloss over the ramifications of the results for a moment, because they aren’t conclusive (but they're definitely not good), in order to share the part of this that we're just kind of stuck on.
The MD specialist that examined our blood with her eyeballs wrote back to say, "this should be checked against a flow cytometry to verify the results and collect more data."
Which is to say, she told our doc that someone needs to shoot a laser at our blood!
Like, it makes sense. Human beings have learned that if you shoot lasers at things, you can often examine the reflected light to read minute details about those things. And they do it all the time.
It's nothing new at this point.
Grocery clerks shoot lasers at your cereal and beer all the time.
But.
They're going to shoot a laser at our blood!
It's like a combination of ignorant 1950s horror sci-fi and heavy metal.
Nimona would be so fucking psyched.
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while we’re still waiting for the next q!Roier tape i have a question regarding our cubito:
do you think q!Roier’s consciousness was actually put into a rat? or has it all been just a drug-induced dream?
regardless of whether or not it’s actually consciousness-inserted-into-rat, that cubito is definitely getting experimented on one way or another. but i’m curious to hear other people’s thoughts O_o
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I hate risking restarting any kind of discourse but this is massively misleading and kind of. IDK uncomfortable how quickly ppl just resort to making their own callouts in the wake of all this shit. Like people were pissy abt dtwof yeah but The Thing That Ended up getting the poll taken down and actually prompted a lot of the racism posts was homestuck going up against Paris is Burning.
Like idk. From my pov, the two users were having their own separate reactions to these events, and Anonymous Users from both’s followings went to the others askbox to start shit. It Really Really Doesnt Seem to me like the kind of targeted harassment that ppl are painting it as and more of an issue of the site’s culture. Bc until dms or whatever come out between people confirming that either user meant to stir up drama Genuinely Why Would I believe otherwise. Theres a lot of racism on tumblr and theres a lot of transmisogyny too, and we’ve seen how these things affect events that a lot of users see and participate in
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