did kyle cry when he found out raven was stan
yes...A Lot.
which is kind of a big deal, because jersey kyle...
never cries.
ever.
so its a large part of the Why Can't Jersey Say I Love You ask meme, that, ik, is taking me forever -- i have so many asks rn haha -- but for the sake of context/lore, i will summarize part of it here. ( badly )
in essence, kyle, who is the least okay/mentally fortified person ever, is under the false pretense that everything in his life is fine...bc he refuses to process that it isn't. because to him, as long as everything is going to plan, w/ no detours or distractions...Everything Is Perfect.
see, kyle...likes to plan. kyle likes order. kyle does not like chaos.
he does not like to deal with messy, complex human emotions, fussy things, upsetting things, dramatic things, any kind of touchy feelings. its inefficient, makes you vulnerable, its embarrassing, its impractical. most of all...its unpleasant/upsetting. kyle doesn’t do unpleasant and upsetting...kyle Is unpleasant and upsetting.
and after stan died...kyle wept inconsolably. he cried rivers, lakes and oceans, day in and day out, only to realize that all the puffy eyed, red cheeked, blubbering and snot...were for naught, because kyle could cry until he died of dehydration, sob until his chest was swollen, scream until his throat was raw & bloody; it didn't matter.
because it wouldn't bring stan back.
...that no matter what he did, how hard he begged, bartered or pleaded...at the end of the day, his sweet, precious stanley marsh was still Dead and kyle was still the same sad little boy he always was, drowning in his sorrows & his dead super best friend's jacket, weak and whimpering, eyes warbling. a waste. a weakling. a worm.
so one day...he just...Stopped.
he just stopped feeling things.
completely.
as a coping mechanism ( aka not-coping ) he just decided to compartmentalize all those uncomfortable, intense feelings, anything that wasn't useful to him and ignored them all together. pretended like they didn't exist. will not humor them. which makes sense bc in addition to not crying, kyle also doesn't laugh.
this, i think, is interesting because, to keep himself 'safe' and in working order at all times, kyle doesn't think about unpleasant things, he also is outwardly abhorrent to prevent things from getting to close to him, anything he could get attached to or might get sentimental about because he doesn't like to be vulnerable at all.
conversely, stan feels things extremely deeply and all the time. so he is constantly in distress and disarray because at all times, he is aware of how Sad he is and can't compartmentalize things like kyle can.
( can we see why it might be super easy for ravenstan to tell someone he loves them and why it would be really hard for jerseykyle? fML )
but back to kyle who count on both hands...maybe one hand...the amount of times he's cried.
he cried the morning after the sadie hawkins dance in sixth grade when all the news crews and ambulances and firetrucks were at stans old house, watching them put shelley in a body bag, and telling him like, in stans jacket, that they couldn't find him and that the flames were so hot that he probably got incinerated in the blaze.
he cried when he found out raven was stan. it was...a lot.
he also cried...
...when they broke up during the ravesey divorce. </3
like it was....Oooooof. it was so sad and fucked up. like when i tell you jersey kyle, like scary ass jerseykyle, who never bends to Anyone, was literally on his hands and knees begging ravenstan to stay I'MMM :(
he was clinging onto the hem of stan's shorts, absolutely devastated, lip quivering, fucking hyperventilating like nononono--stan, don't go! please, Please don't go! please, please, please don't go! :(( don't leave!! don't leave!! waitwaitwait!!! i do! please just--just Wait!!! :(( i do, baby! i Really do! so, so much and -- i! FUCK!!! i can--i can Say it! please just give me one second! i can--NO!!! NONONO sTAN, PLEA
sigh....*narrator vc* He Could Not Say It.
it was sooooo goddamn AWFUL!!! like literally the one thing that kyle fears the most in the world is losing stanley marsh which had already happened once and was now happening AGAIN??? oh my Godddd
his abandonment issues are so gnarly :'(
aStandonment more like
he also held it together while stan was there, however, the second that door closed, kyle wept BROKENLY into stans big shirt, full body shaking, knees to his chest, loud, open mouth sobbing, the knees of his pajama pants drenched, desperately trying to reach stan, to try and explain himself with words that wouldn't come, only to find that stan had blocked him...On Everything.
it was AAAaaAAa ;-;
uUuUuGh!!! plus it's sooooo sad and Scary when jerseykyle cries because it basically triggers a massive, full-blown Panic Attack!! because he's like oh god why am i suddenly feeling every bad thing ive ever repressed? why can't i breathe? why does my Chest Hurt??
:(( jErSey
hell is a PLACE, bitch!
anyways...tldr: yes, kyle did cry when he found out raven was stan. he cried when he lost stan, found stan...and then lost stan again.
fun! :)
-uncle nina, jojo posing at the gates of gay boy angst hell
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BBS: Depressingly Lonely? Not Pran.
If what Pat experienced during their three-year separation was “depressingly lonely” imagine what Pran went through. Three years or 1,095 days or 26,280 hours or 1,576,800 minutes and you know, you know, he counted every single one of those minutes. Here I am living another minute without him.... that’s one more minute I haven’t fully lived.
So Pran stood there on that rooftop, legs wobbly, as Pat confessed that the time he spent away from Pran was depressingly lonely. And Pran can only stare at him in disbelief because depressingly lonely doesn’t come close – it doesn’t even touch the vicinity of close – to what Pran felt then and what Pran feels ALL THE TIME even when PAT IS RIGHT THERE next to him. The classic case of I’ll take what I can get, whatever he is willing to give, I’ll pick up every crumb and tuck it away to take out and quietly examine later, away from eyes that KNOW ME, that SEE ME, not realizing that Pat has SO MUCH MORE TO GIVE but is unsure if Pran will accept, well, him.
Then Pat bravely asks (and truly what Pat initiates on that rooftop can only be described as bravery, it’s akin to ripping open his chest and presenting his bleeding heart to Pran in a THIS IS ME, ALL OF ME kind of way) what we have now, what should we call it? If we’re not enemies, do you think we could be friends? And at this, Pran’s emotions overwhelm him and the single tear falls, unbidden. He then asks what he’s been wanting to ask since that day long ago when he first felt his chest flutter at Pat’s proximity, why? do you want us to be friends?
And while Pat works up his response, those 94,608,000 seconds they spent apart lives inside the few seconds it takes for Pran to hear Pat’s answer. Can you imagine what went through Pran’s mind? All those times Pran sat alone in his dorm room in some far-off city where he knows absolutely no one, staring at pictures on his computer of a boy he loves frozen in time. All those times he allowed himself to take out ‘the world’s one and only handsome guitar pick’ and smile at it longingly, never knowing that same boy kept the other piece of himself, his cherished guitar, and safeguarded it for him. Safeguarding himself really, for Pran’s eventual return, someday maybe. Or how Pran must have filled countless sketchbooks full of drawings of a boy from back home never knowing when their paths would cross again, if ever. No, depressingly lonely doesn’t come close to describing what Pran went through.
And then Pran finally registers that Pat said no, he doesn’t want them to just be friends. Their 28-second kiss is truly the first time Pran allows himself to freely and fully live. And there’s something really triumphant yet so incredibly sad about how much he pours of himself and his feelings into this kiss. And we felt it down to our bones, in his reaction, the way his face contorts painfully as he looks back at a joyous Pat. I can’t have this. He isn’t mine to have. He likes Ink. He said so. His family hates mine. Not mine to have. Not mine to keep. Not mine. Ever. And he runs away, to break apart in private away from eyes that KNOW HIM, eyes that SEE HIM.
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Love Mechanics ep 7 throwing huge Bad Buddy vibes like it's its job. The yelling at the sea, the guitar, the writing in the sand, the "I won't fall for you" when it's already been done for a while, the whole secret thing plus sharing on socials cause they're more afraid of losing the other than of everyone knowing ?
Yeah. With Vice Versa airing I did NOT need the reminder, why is everything trying to lock the rooftop door I'm already having trouble ever getting down COME ON
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