#Anyway... he did get into a scammer's computer and did his thing and went on the scammer's v*xtube and subscribed him to a) himself and | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

dovechim · 5 years

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bam! you got scammed! 01 (m)

➾ 10k

➾ warnings: excessive mentions of cum, mentions of unsanitary usage of cum, squirting dildo, cam girl/ cam boy AU, male masturbation, oral (m receiving), dirty talk, slight slut shaming, unprotected sex, creampie

➾ summary: some might say it's unethical. some might even say you’re a scammer. in this dog eats dog world, the line between right and wrong is a grey area indeed. but as a cam girl, there’s no such thing as work ethic, at least not to you.

jeon jeongguk learns the hard way when he falls for your scam, but you can be sure he isn’t about to let you get away with this.

➾ a/n: first of all, i truly apologise for using two gifs. i couldn’t, for the life of me, find a better gif of jeon when he’s pissed off and he does THAT thing with his tongue. you all know what I'm talking about. i hate myself so much because i had to look at so many pictures of jeon while searching for that second gif T___T

anyway, this is the first fic i’ve written where i stopped so many times and asked myself, what the hell am i writing? is this too weird?? but i am thankful for the friends i talked to and the encouragement they gave me :”) it got so long that i had to split it into two parts. the second part will be uploaded next week!

♡♡♡

Blinking red hearts on the top left of your computer screen. A red dot indicating that your webcam is on and currently filming. Numbers that climb higher and higher by the second, accompanied by a never ending stream of comments in the sidebar. And every now and then, a bright, happy chime that indicates someone has donated to your stream.

From your point of view, this is all that you see as you spread your legs wider, making sure the camera can capture all the mess that you’ve been making of yourself for the past hour. Your cute bunny hat slips down your forehead as you stroke the dildo in and out of yourself faster, watching the influx of comments praising you and urging you on.

cherry_chim013: whose cum is it this time? jackedasjeon: mine, of course jackedasjeon: it IS mine, right? handfulofhobi: not likely… we all know you don’t have that much cum considering how much u jerk off cherry_chim013: hahhaahfsd shit my dick slipped out of my hand jackedasjeon: SHUT UP jackedasjeon: how do u even jerk off with such a tiny dick?

“Oh come on guys… don’t fight,” you pout, sticking out your lower lip as you take the opportunity to rest your arm for a moment. “I’m sure jackedasjeon’s load is more than satisfying. I’d love to find out for myself one day…”

Normally, with the amount of comments that fly past, you have a hard time reading each and every one while trying to look sexy getting yourself off, but since these three subscribers happen to be your top contributors, their usernames are specially highlighted, and their comments are pinned in place for a few seconds.

handfulofhobi: does that mean it isn’t his?? cherry_chim013: HEY! my dick isn’t small, thank u very much

“I can vouch for cherrychim,” you giggle as you take out the dildo currently buried in your pussy. “I’d say he could give this one a run for its money?”

jackedasjeon: stop playing around babygirl jackedasjeon: i don’t care whose it is anymore jackedasjeon: i just want to see you cum

“Someone’s a little impatient tonight?” You raise an eyebrow at his demanding and insistent messages. “I haven’t even revealed whose cum it is yet… I got such a surprise when I went to pick up the package a few days ago. You gave me SO MUCH cum! Don’t worry, I didn’t spill any while transferring it in here.”

Your sentence ends with a giggle as you hide your face behind your hand, pretending to be embarrassed. Just then, a chime comes from your computer.

jackedasjeon has donated 500 coins!

You sit up a little straighter. ‘jackedasjeon’ has always been a consistent contributor to your streams, starting off with smaller amounts, but this is the most he’s ever given you. You give a little smooch to the camera as you sink the dildo into your pussy all the way, your face screwed up as it bottoms out inside you.

“Ah, it feels so much bigger today, I don’t know why,” you frown in confusion as you continue to fuck yourself. “Thank you jackedasjeon! Who knows… maybe you’ll get lucky next time? But for today, I’m very pleased to reveal that this huge load of cum that’s about to go in my pussy belongs to…”

You pause and reach for the shipping label that you had torn off, address and personal information scribbled out with black marker, leaving only the username visible. Showing it to the camera, you pause for a few seconds, making sure everyone has time to see what’s written on it.

“… handfulofhobi!” Your bright grin grows even wider as the subscriber conveys his delight with a hefty donation of 1000 coins. “Now now, don’t sulk, jackedasjeon. You too, cherrychim! There’s always a next time!”

You put the label away and lean closer to the camera as you start to whine and pant, inching closer and closer to your orgasm. In the midst of this, you read out several other random subscriber’s names in an effort to make everyone feel included. Then, your other hand reaches for the pump beside you, and as your walls clench around the dildo, you press it hard a few times, causing cum to spurt out of the head of the dildo and fill you up.

“It’s so thick… thank you hobi,” you giggle as you slow down your thrusting, reaching to redirect the camera in between your legs. The sheer amount of cum inside you makes everything so much sloppier, and soon the white liquid starts to leak out of you, turning frothy due to your thrusts. Still squeezing the other end to drain all the cum inside the dildo, you lazily push it in and out of your cunt. “You filled me up so well… thank you! I can only imagine what it’d be like to have you cumming inside me for real…”

You end off with a sigh, bringing your fingers down to play with your messy slit as you let the dildo slip out of you. Brushing your clit a few times, you make slightly tortured noises of overstimulation that your viewers love and enjoy, all in the name of putting up a show for them.

After a few minutes, you push the camera back so that your entire body is in the frame once more. You gather the sticky cum that stains your thighs, though it doesn’t do much more than spread it around. Pushing one finger into your mouth, you lick and suck the cum from it while maintaining eye contact with the camera, watching the comments suddenly surge.

While you read the comments, you reach for the dildo and suck around the head of it, squeezing the leftover cum inside it onto your tongue and playing with it, letting it drip down your chin onto your cleavage, covered by your pink lace bra.

cherry_chim013 has donated 400 coins! seojoonie has donated 100 coins! handfulofhobi has donated 800 coins! darkhorse015 and three others have donated a total of 400 coins! seojoonie: the best streamer on this fucking site seojoonie: you’d take my cock so well cherry_chim013: FUCK, that’s so hot cherry_chim013: i came all over myself handfulofhobi: oh my god handfulofhobi: it’d be my pleasure to fill u up in person baby jackedasjeon: push it inside you more babygirl jackedasjeon: don’t let a single drop go to waste jackedasjeon: if i were there i’d fuck it back into u

jackedasjeon: i’m still so hard

“Your pleasure is mine, cherrychim,” you giggle, resting your hand on your belly with your legs still wide open. “Today’s stream was made possible by the wonderful handfulofhobi… thank you so much! To everyone else, thank you for taking time to watch me. It was my pleasure,” you blow a kiss to the camera as you start to do your signature outro.

“As always, remember to like and subscribe to my channel if you liked what you saw! And turn on notifications so you’ll know every time I stream. For a chance to fill me with your cum next week, don’t forget to check out the link in the description box! Bye bye!”

You send a last kiss toward the camera before you turn it off for good, seeing the red light dim before you close your legs, grimacing at how sticky and disgusting you feel. Just as you are reaching for a baby wipe to clean up first, a notification pops up on your screen.

✉ jackedasjeon is requesting to send you a private message! ✉

Accept or Reject

You force a smile onto your face. Can’t reject one of your top subscribers, after all. They make up almost half of your monthly income from this site. The only reason why he’s able to even private message you in the first place. You sigh as you click accept, and a chat window pops up.

jackedasjeon is typing… jackedasjeon: i’m still hard… jackedasjeon sent you an image

♡

Jeon Jeongguk stares eagerly at his computer screen for a reply, grey sweatpants pushed down to his knees as he lounges at his computer table. Sure, he’d just stroked his cock for over an hour to his favourite cam girl, and that usually does the trick, but somehow today he can’t get it off. Too many horny bastards in the chatroom talking about how hard their dicks are and how much cum they’d pump her full of.

All just getting in the way of him enjoying his favourite cam girl. He really hit the jackpot when he stumbled upon your stream one lonely, horny weekday after class. You drew him in and captivated him immediately with your satin pink hair, glowing skin, wide, innocent eyes and always with that tantalising cleavage bouncing around on screen. No matter what kind of lewd things you did on screen, you always kept your corset top on, emphasising your tiny waist and making Jeon Jeongguk imagine how he’d wrap his hands around it as he makes your breasts bounce.

But more than that, watching your streams makes him feel like he knows you. Your soft voice, the sound of your laughter, and even when you aren’t doing anything lewd, just talking about your day or what you had for lunch, it makes him feel like he knows you in real life. Sometimes while listening to a lecture or working out, Jeongguk likes to turn on your streams and just hear the sound of your voice to keep him company.

He desperately hopes that you’ll entertain his request even though you officially ended the stream, and you limit your online activity to just that one time a week. Despite that, you easily maintain your position at the top of the leaderboard. It’s probably because you’re the first ever cam girl to offer such a service: each week, one lucky platinum subscriber gets a chance to send you a load (or two!) of cum and watch you fuck yourself full of it with your squirting dildo.

Jeongguk hasn’t had the chance, but after today’s stream, he feels more than hopeful. Just as he’s about to add on to the dick picture he sent, something appears on the screen.

meringuebaby is typing…

Jeongguk does a fist pump, his eyes lighting up in excitement. He rushes to delete the ‘i sent u my dick, pls respond?’ currently in the textbox.

meringuebaby: the stream not enough for you? meringuebaby: im not losing my touch am i…? T__________T

Jeongguk scrambles to type a reply back, his hands shaking. He can’t believe that you would even give him the time of day. You, the top streamer on this site, the hottest cam girl he’s ever seen in his entire life (ok, so he’s only watched your streams so far, but that doesn’t affect his ability to make objective judgements!), is private messaging him!

jackedasjeon: no no! never, babygirl jackedasjeon: i just needed a bit more help today… jackedasjeon: u’ll help me wont u? meringuebaby: of course i will… you’re my favourite subscriber ^^♡

Jeongguk’s heart skips a beat, and his cock throbs as he rushes to type a reply back onehanded. An onset of pictures interrupts him though, and he opens them one by one to savour them.

They are obviously just taken, and Jeongguk’s dick twitches at the thought of you taking these pictures just for him. The fact that no one else but him has access to these pictures, out of the millons of subscribers you have, makes him even harder. As he strokes his cock to images of your cum filled pussy, your perfect ass and your oh so innocent pout, he cums all over himself, pulling his shirt up just in time so he doesn’t stain it.

“Shit,” he swears under his breath as he pants, struggling to type a reply back to you.

jackedasjeon: my baby always knows exactly what i need jackedasjeon: i came so hard jackedasjeon: your pussy is so perfect

“… Jeon, how many times do I have to call you? Dinner is read- OH MY GOD!” Seokjin immediately covers his eyes and wails. “W-why didn’t you lock the god damn door? I need fucking first aid, your one eyed monster just massacred the entire human race—”

Jeongguk rolls his eyes as he reaches for his phone to snap a pic of his cum stained abs to send to you, along with a short message thanking you. He doesn’t even bother to hide his slowly softening dick as Seokjin continues to wail about how his mental health will now take a turn for the worse, his crops will die and he’ll get kicked out of school.

meringuebaby: welcome baby, your pleasure is my pleasure ^^ meringuebaby: wow, that’s a lot of cum… shame it had to go to waste T_________T meringuebaby: i really hope you’ll get lucky next week xoxo

meringuebaby is now offline.

Jeongguk is grinning at his screen like a fool, softened dick still out and sweatpants still pooled at his feet.

Yoongi is in the midst of carting a tray of food back to his room when he catches sight of this. Seokjin is still wailing and complaining in the hallway.

“meringuebaby again?” Yoongi glances at Jeongguk’s screen, not half as bothered by Jeongguk’s nudity as Seokjin is.

“Yeah! Hyung, she private messaged with me! Said I was her favourite subscriber!” Jeongguk is practicing bouncing up and down with joy, his bunny smile lighting up his entire face.

Yoongi still seems unimpressed, though he does raise an eyebrow when he sees just how much Jeongguk has donated to your stream today. “What does she do again?”

“She lets one subscriber send her his cum every week. Then during her livestream she fucks herself with her squirting dildo and fills herself up with that subscriber’s cum,” Jeongguk rushes to explain, directing Yoongi’s attention to the leaderboard at the top of the page. “She’s the top streamer even though she only goes live once a week!”

Jeongguk takes the time to finally tuck himself back into his sweatpants and wipe the cum off his abs with a tissue as Yoongi scrutinises the page with a doubtful frown. “She… what now?”

“She lets—“ Jeongguk is about to go into his whole tirade again when Seokjin, finally unfrozen from his state of shock in the hallway, regains his senses when he no longer sees Jeongguk’s exposed dick.

“What?? That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard,” he laughs as he approaches cautiously, as if Jeongguk’s dick might spring out at any time now. “First of all, that’s disgusting as fuck. Second of all, um… STD risk? Hello??”

Yoongi remains quiet as Jeongguk jumps to his favourite streamer’s defense with a petulant whine. “Ah Jin-hyung!You might think it’s gross, but her thousands of subscribers obviously don’t. And meringuebaby isn’t dumb, of course she makes us send her our test results too!”

“She probably doesn’t even know you exist,” Seokjin rolls his eyes as he walks away.

“She does! She said I’m her favourite subscriber!” Jeongguk calls out after the older man. Then he turns to Yoongi. “Isn’t she pretty?”

“She’s hot,” Yoongi admits with a simple nod. “The premise and all… very intriguing. I mean, lots of men love seeing cum filled pussy. But having the chance to have their cum featured on stream? She definitely hit a jackpot right there…”

Jeongguk beams with pride as he gazes at your profile picture at the top of the leaderboard.

“… but you’re totally getting scammed, dude.”

Jeongguk whips his head to turn and look at Yoongi. “What?”

Yoongi only laughs. “There’s no way she’s actually putting a stranger’s cum inside her like that. Even if she makes all of you send in test results, how can she be sure that they’re not fabricated? How can she be sure that it’s not someone else’s test results?”

“No way,” Jeongguk argues back with the utmost determination. “meringuebaby would never do that.”

Yoongi only sighs. When Jeongguk gets like this, there’s almost no way to convince him that he’s wrong. He’s one of the most stubborn people Yoongi has ever met. But that doesn’t stop Yoongi from saying his piece.

“Have you ever seen her actually pour the cum into her dildo?”

“…no, she always starts the stream right to the point. She’s already fucking herself when she comes online.” Jeongguk says in a small voice, but he defiantly pushes his chin up. “She probably doesn’t want to show us the boring stuff, that’s all!” And then a thought strikes him. “She always shows us the shipping label of the package!”

“That doesn’t prove anything, dude,” Yoongi only sighs at the youngest’s naivety. “She probably mixes up a batch of fake cum and loads it in. The consistency is way different, but you can’t tell when it’s in someone’s pussy. That’s how they do it in the porn industry too.”

Jeongguk is very quiet for a moment as he thinks about all the times he’s seen you fuck yourself with your beloved purple squirting dildo. It can’t be fake. You wouldn’t do something like that. Besides… besides! Jeongguk sits up straight with a sudden brain wave.

“Hyung!” He says with such a thunderous shout that even Yoongi, unbothered and unperturbed even if the sky were to come crashing down, jumps a little at the sheer volume. “The cum she uses every stream. They’re always different consistencies. Some thick, some super thin and watery, and some are just globs. If it was really fake cum, they’d all be the same consistency wouldn’t it? This just proves that they’re all from different men!”

Yoongi rolls his eyes. Jeongguk may be a cum connoisseur alright, but he isn’t exactly the brightest crayon in the box. He pats Jeongguk’s back a few times with a pitying smile. “You know what… as long as you’re happy. As long as it makes you happy.”

Then he leaves the younger man still grinning happily at his computer screen. Yoongi sighs as he hears the clink of coins signifying Jeongguk making yet another donation to your channel.

♡

“You ended later today,” Irene comments as you walk into the kitchen blindly, holding two cotton pads to your eyes. “Someone give you trouble?”

Ever the motherly figure, Irene has always been against you doing something like this. She always worries that someone might recognise you, especially since you’re one of the few top streamers to show your face openly on camera. But you argue back that there’s no way anyone could possibly recognise you. Not with the four hours you spend doing your makeup in the most ridiculous ways: heavy eye makeup, large, dramatic eyelashes with doll like circle lenses, custom made pink Sailor Moon wig. Most of the time you can’t even recognise yourself when you look in the mirror.

“Not really,” you say, not wanting to go into too much detail about the platinum subscriber who private messaged you, lest you freak Irene out even more.

At first, when she found out what you did as a side job (how could you have known that she’d be back from classes early?!) she had a complete meltdown over how “unsanitary”, “dangerous” and “scary” it was to be putting random strangers’ cum inside you. Not to mention how unsafe it was to be giving out your address on the internet! Until you told her you rented a PO box and showed her your stash of fake cum in the highest cupboard of your room, she was a sobbing mess wailing about how she was going to lose her one and only roommate to a nasty STD or worse, a horny, murderous kidnapper.

Now, sometimes she even helps you mix the cum for your streams when you get too busy to do it yourself. You would have thought that she would be too grossed out at the idea of what it was supposed to be, but she only treats it like a cooking project.

“Aren’t you afraid someone might figure it out one day?” Irene asks as she leaves dinner simmering on the stove to head for the fridge. “That this is all just a scam where you put on five push up bras, cover yourself in makeup, and where you don’t actually…”

Her voice trails off in embarrassment.

You peel off one side of the cotton pad, finding it completely stained with makeup and one false eyelash before peeling off the other. The five push-up bras in question are lying discarded on your bedroom floor, taken off the moment the stream ended.

“No one’s gonna find out unless they make a concerted effort to,” you say disinterestedly as you take off the rest of your makeup. “What I’m selling is an image, a fantasy. Those who believe in it won’t go about deliberately trying to ruin the very one thing that they believe in, the thing that gets them off and helps them escape from reality.”

You say this without an ounce of guilt whatsoever.

“If they really believe this—” you turn around and pluck your violet contact lens out of your eye to illustrate, “— is real, then they’re just fools. Sad, lonely fools.”

Technically, what you’re doing isn’t a scam, because do the guys who watch you still get to cum till their balls are empty? Yes.

Are you still fulfilling their fantasy of filling a stranger up with cum? Yes.

Before you started doing this, back when you had first signed up on the streaming website with only a few subscribers to your name, the top comment you always got was how the men wanted to fill you with their cum.

Why not give people what they want? That’s not a crime. You’re simply leveraging upon the laws of supply and demand (so econs class wasuseful after all!).

“Anyway, I just raked in another four hundred plus today,” you turn around bare faced again, scooping up your glasses and putting them on while grinning at your roommate. “You said you needed some textbooks on Monday right? They’re on me.”

“Oh ______... I can’t! It’s your hard earned money,” Irene hesitates as she scoops out the tofu stew she’d been slaving over for the past hour into bowls. “You should keep it for yourself.”

Irene always helps you with your streams, does your makeup and cooks you dinner even if she’s busy with school. This is the least you can do for her. You frown at her as she hands you a bowl of rice.

“Don’t even argue with me. I already ordered your books online. They’re coming in the next few days.”

Irene sits down opposite you as you start to dig in ravenously, her expression slightly worried, but she covers it up with a genuine smile of thanks. “Just be careful, _______.”

♡

You sit in front of your computer, textbooks open but attention elsewhere entirely.

A part of you slightly regrets being so generous to Irene as you stare at this semester’s tuition fee. Did it go up? Was the amount always this much?

You have barely enough in your bank account to cover it. Not to mention you’d have to miss out paying your portion of rent this month, on top of eating $1 kimbap for every meal if this goes on.

You sigh as you fold the letter in half. Just when you thought you could stop worrying about money so much, life just hits you in the face.

A chime comes from your computer as it lights up, and you click on the email notification from the cam girl website.

✉ jackedasjeon has sent you a private message!✉

Needing to take your mind off your worries for a second, you click to open his message.

jackedasjeon: when are you announcing the details for next week’s stream baby? jackedasjeon: i really hope I get lucky T____T jackedasjeon: i’ve been waiting for sooooo long T_____________T

Reading his messages makes you think about the dick picture he sent you. He’s clearly a well-built guy judging from the veins in his hands and arms, not to mention his generous cock, and last but not least, the cum stained abs that he was trying so very hard to show off. But the tone of his messages makes him sound like a whiny baby, and the thought of such a contrast actually makes you laugh.

Then, an idea strikes you as you click to your homepage and open a new announcement post.

hi cumnoisseurs ♡

how are my lovely icing chefs doing? ^___^♡ uwu

i was thinking of trying something new for next week’s stream! instead of picking a winner randomly (since I think most of you platinum subscribers have already had a chance once), there’ll be a bidding to determine the winner! owo

you can submit your bids on the discussion page! every night at 10pm, i will post the three current highest bidders ^_____^ bids are in increments of 250 coins! the entire bidding period only lasts for three days, so make sure you don’t forget!!

or i’ll be really sad that you wont have a chance to frost my cupcakes… qmq

i’m looking forward to receiving your icing bags uwu

lots of love,

meringuebaby ♡

As you read through your own post, you are cringing so hard from the overly sweet and cute tone that you almost throw up in your own mouth. The overuse of emoticons and ‘uwu’s has you want to wash your eyes out with saline. But this is what your viewers love, it’s the image you have cultivated for yourself, and you have to stick to it.

Sighing, you add a couple more emoticons here and there, deciding that there’s no such thing as overkill, before clicking on submit.

♡

Seokjin is having a nice, pleasant day whipping up some macarons; relishing in the peace and quiet. Having the entire kitchen to himself like this is rare. Usually, Jeon Jeongguk is in here making a mess with his protein shakes, or Min Yoongi is huddled in a chair eating whatever horrendous concoction made from three day leftovers in the fridge.

Seokjin shudders at the thought of that.

But at least with this; with this he can destress yet make some money on the side. It isn’t much, but taking small orders here and there has really added up over the weeks. He even has his own Instagram page where he features the best batches from his weekly bakes, and it really does a lot in attracting new customers.

He cracks one egg, separates the yolks from the whites, then moves to crack the second egg, tipping the yolk to one side of the shell and letting the whites fall into the pristine metal bowl beneath. All through this he can feel the serenity settle deep into his bones, he feels perfectly at ease. This is what he’s meant to do all his life; become the top pastry chef in Korea. His hands move to tilt the shell with the yolk just a little to make sure he gets every drop of egg white possible, when—

“Oh my GOD!!!!!!! OH MY FUCKING GOD!!!!!!”

— his hand slips, and the yolk falls into the precious reservoir of egg whites down below, contaminating it beyond redemption as it breaks apart upon contact.

Seokjin breathes out in an attempt to control his rage.

“HOLY SHIT!” Jeon Jeongguk’s voice does not stop yelling.

Seokjin wipes his soiled hand onto a paper towel. With resolute steps, he makes his way to the stupid punk’s room, fully intent on teaching him a lesson he won’t soon forget. He shoves open Jeongguk’s door violently, completely forgetting what happened the last time he entered Jeongguk’s room without first knocking.

But luckily this time, he doesn’t end up with an eyeful of Jeongguk’s one eyed monster.

Instead, he finds Jeongguk prostate on the floor, on his knees with his forehead touching the ground as he sobs.

“Thank you thank you thank you…” he is mumbling as he— are those tears on his cheeks?!

Seokjin glances around in alarm. Has the stupid brat finally lost it? Had Seokjin been too harsh on him lately? But asking him to clean up after eating is definitely not too much—

In the midst of his fretting, Seokjin catches a glimpse of Jeongguk’s computer screen. He is currently on the cam girl from last time’s— he doesn’t recall a name— home page. Seokjin reads the top announcement, posted just five minutes ago.

And he is speechless.

“H-hyung… isn’t meringuebaby great?” Jeongguk can barely speak, his voice is choked with tears. “She’s actually giving me a chance now… I don’t have to depend on luck anymore! HYUNG!!! This time I really just might win!!!”

Jeongguk is looking at him with stars in his eyes.

Well, no really, it’s just the tears that are making his eyes shine like that.

“Sh-she calls you all… cumnoisseurs?” Seokjin stutters.

Jeongguk puffs out his chest. “Isn’t she the most creative?”

Seokjin can barely believe his eyes as he turns back to the post. “She wants you to… to… frost her cupcakes? With your...your— icing bags?”

With every word, Seokjin’s voice reaches a higher pitch, until his voice almost breaks on the last word. This is… this is an absolute insult to the pastry chefs who shed blood sweat and tears trying to hone their respected craft. Who spend hours in the kitchen trying to whip up that perfect batch of soft, fluffy and white meringues for their macarons, break their backs trying to ice their cupcakes flawlessly, only for all of it to be turned into some kind of lewd, sexual innuendo by some cam girl.

His face is red with rage. His ears are burning. Seokjin is sputtering with indignance. But he can’t find a single word to say.

“… do you even have that kind of money?” He finally spits out.

All at once, Jeon Jeongguk deflates like a soufflé taken out of the oven too soon.

Seokjin feels a little better seeing this. Who the hell does meringuebaby even think she is—

“I’ll find a way,” Jeongguk is wiping away his tears with one hand, brow set into a determined frown that has Seokjin feeling a little nervous. Whenever he gets this look, it’s a sign that Jeon Jeongguk is about to do something extremely stupid, incredibly reckless and most likely life-endangering. Like that time he fell for that online scam by a Nigerian Princess promising inheritance of the throne in exchange for a few dick pics.

“Wh-what are you going to do?” Seokjin glances at Jeongguk nervously as the youngest pushes himself to his feet with resolution, taking a seat in his desk chair once more.

“I’m going to…” Jeongguk takes a deep breath as he wipes the last of his tears away, clicking open a new browser in his computer. “I’m going to find a part-time job.”

Well. That’s certainly not what Seokjin was expecting. He lets out a sigh of relief. “As long as it makes you happy, Kook-ah. As long as you’re happy.”

Seokjin turns away with a niggling worry in the back of his mind as he hears Jeongguk swear under his breath.

“What the fuck? $250,000 for a kidney??”

♡

The guy beside you keeps sighing. All throughout the lecture, he is scrolling rapidly on his computer, obviously not taking any notes whatsoever. Normally, you would be more than a bit annoyed at being distracted, but today you’re not in any mood to listen either.

Yesterday night you posted the first three top bidders on your page. Strangely enough, and dare you say to your disappointment, jackedasjeon is nowhere to be found. He hasn’t even made a bid on your page. Currently at the top is cherry_chim013 with a bid of 2500 coins, and handfulofhobi is a few places down with a bid of 1,000 coins.

The lecturer announces a five-minute break, and the guy beside you sighs once more. You turn to him with a concerned look, peeking at his screen. “Something wrong?”

He turns to you in slight surprise, black curly hair ruffled and with sleep still in his eyes. “Wh- oh. Nothing. It’s just… why does finding a part-time job have to be so damn hard?”

He slouches in his seat and juts his bottom lip out. You feel a pang of sympathy for him. Before you discovered this cam girl gig, you were in his exact position. Scouring the school’s part time job listing for something that is manageable with a full load of classes, yet pays decently. It’s an almost impossible feat.

“Tuition fee, huh?” You sigh and pat his back in solidarity. “This time of the semester always comes around way too quickly.”

“Uh… yeah… tuition fee’s a goddamn piece of shit,” he says as he rubs the back of his neck with a nervous laugh.

“How much are you short?” You rest your chin on your hand.

“Um…” he bites his lower lip as he meets your eyes, and it strikes you that you’ve never seen such round, innocent doe eyes before. “About… $550 maybe? Or more? I… I don’t know.”

He seems to be in a sorry state— jittery and lacking sleep. Poor thing probably stayed up all night worrying about how to pay his fee; he’s so out of it right now that he can barely even remember how much more he needs. You can empathise with that all too well.

“Di- do you have any good part time jobs to recommend?” He suddenly turns to you, sitting upright in his seat.

You peer at his computer again, garnering his name from his login at the top of the school’s webpage. “Jeongguk, right?”

“Yeah—“ He follows your gaze to his screen, and then he looks at the cover of your notebook. “Any part time gigs to recommend, ______?”

“I’m sorry, I really don’t,” you say truthfully. In fact, this was the entire reason why you resorted to being a cam girl in the first place. It’s just impossible to get by with a part time job that pays so meagrely. “You could… you could tutor? I don’t know of any students you could teach though…”

“Forget it,” Jeongguk says glumly, sinking down in his seat. “Did you know the black market buys kidneys for $250,000?”

“Dude, that’s way too much suffering to go through,” you shake your head vehemently. “I mean, I could never do that.”

“You’re right,” Jeongguk sighs as he mutters to himself, “it’s impossible to get that done in 2 days anyway.”

“Why not try something less painful? Like donating blood!” You turn to him with a sudden brainwave. “It’s for a good cause, and its relatively painless too!”

Jeongguk only shakes his head. “I can’t. I was just getting over a flu earlier this week, and I’m still finishing up the antibiotics…”

You sink back into your chair, wracking your brain in thought. “Then… what about… I know this sounds crazy, but… donating sperm? Like, become a sperm donor?”

Jeongguk immediately rejects your idea. “What? No way. My sperm is way too precious for me to just pour it down the drain like that. Besides, if I do that, then I might not have enough for—“

He stops talking suddenly, and his face grows really red. The tips of his ears follow suit, and you think it’s actually kind of adorable, despite how he seems to be a little simple minded.

“Awww. Does someone want to be a daddy someday?” You grin at him, watching his face grow even redder. “You’ll still have enough sperm even if you donate! Did you know your balls make several million sperm a day— about 1,500 a second??”

Jeongguk is a choking, stuttering mess as he turns away from you and your wholesomeness. There’s a whole other reason why he treasures each and every drop of his cum, and definitely not for the reason you think. Though he wouldlike to have kids someday, but that is entirely besides the point.

You are still going on and on about how much sperm he has in his balls right now, and to his horror, hearing you talk about his balls and his sperm and his cum is actually making him grow harder and harder by the second… if he doesn’t do something to shut you up, soon he’ll have a raging boner right in the middle of a lecture.

“I’ll consider it!” He blurts out, and you stop mid-sentence.

“See, I told you it was a great idea!” You are all smiles, patting him on the back. “Let me know how it goes, friend!”

You grin at him, genuinely happy that he decided to consider your suggestion.

And that’s how you and Jeon Jeongguk become friends.

♡

jackedasjeon’s bid is still nowhere to be seen on the second night. You’re getting a little more worried now, especially since the cherry_chim013’s top bid has now been replaced by kingcrabjoonie with 3000 coins.

You would have thought that he definitely wouldn’t miss out on this chance, seeing as how desperate he’s been lately. Clicking over to his profile out of curiosity, you see that he was last online a few hours ago, but yet he still hasn’t made any bids. Perhaps he’s waiting for the very last day?

Or maybe he’s just some poor lonely guy who doesn’t have that much money at his disposal in such a short notice. A part of you begins to feel bad for making your subscribers pay instead of holding a lucky draw like you always do, but you desperately need the cash.

Besides, doing this would weed out all the broke college students and leave only those with a stable income. You’re well aware that guys your age, guys in the same class as you even, watch your streams, but from a very practical point of view, these guys tend to donate in small amounts, and if you depend on them for a living, you’re out of luck.

After lingering on his profile for a few more minutes, you sigh and close the page entirely, pushing all thoughts of jackedasjeon out of your mind as you force yourself to concentrate on your five-page paper due tomorrow.

♡

“Hey, did you see Jeon today?”

Yoongi plucks out one side of his earphones, currently in the midst of rearranging one of his songs, when Seokjin pokes his head into the room. He glances at the clock and realises that it’s almost dawn. Yoongi rubs his eyes sleepily and stares at the older man, dressed in workout gear and presumably about to head to the gym and pretend to work out, return drenched in sweat (read: splash himself with water in the washroom at the gym) and call it a day.

“Don’t know. He didn’t come back again?” Yoongi saves his work once, twice, and three times.

“No. Normally I wouldn’t give a shit about what that brat does, but…” Seokjin’s voice trails off. “He’s up to something. I just know it. Last I heard was that he needs some six hundred bucks for that cam girl website or whatever—“

“He’ll be fine,” Yoongi says through a barely concealed yawn. “He’s not a kid, you know. Even Jeon Jeongguk has his limits too.”

“I know, but…” Seokjin’s voice is interrupted by the jingling of keys, and then a door opening and closing.

“There, see? He’s back in one piece,” Yoongi points his chin toward the sound of Jeongguk rustling about in the living room, turning back to his computer and pressing play again.

“Yeah, on the outside, but who knows what he’s missing on the inside?” Seokjin mutters to himself as Jeongguk drags his feet down the hallway, looking much more worse for wear than when he started out that morning.

“What happened to you?” Seokjin asks, half dreading the answer. “You didn’t… you still have both your kidneys right? Your liver? Your heart?”

“Your brain?” Yoongi pipes up, not even sparing a glance from his screen. “Oh wait. I forgot you didn’t have that one in the first place.”

“Hyung, you’re the one who doesn’t have a heart,” Jeongguk retorts back, but there’s no bite to his bark at all. The youngest can’t stop yawning, and his eyes can’t stay open for more than a few seconds. “I got it. Hyung, I got it.”

“Got what?” Seokjin asks, flabbergasted, but then Jeongguk pulls out a thick wad of cash. There must be at least $300 there. “Oh my god. You robbed a bank.”

Yoongi glances at what Jeongguk is brandishing proudly for a brief second. “You idiot. If he robbed a bank, he would have stolen way more than that.”

“I got an advance payment at my part-time job, and went to ask for a student loan,” Jeongguk says, his eyes opening wide enough with his signature sparkle for just a moment. “Boss made me work the graveyard shift even though no one in their right mind would want to buy furniture in the middle of the night before he would give me next month’s pay.” Jeongguk is puffing his chest out as he counts his money, grinning uncontrollably. “I can’t believe it was that easy. All my problems are solved!”

Seokjin watches the youngster kiss the wad of cash in his hands. “Kook-ah… you know that loans have to be repaid, right…?”

Just then, Yoongi speaks at the same time, tilting his head towards Jeongguk with mild interest. “Aren’t you still short? The highest bid on meringuebaby’s page as of last night is now 3000 coins. Meaning you need $600.”

Yoongi is casually examining his fingernails as he says this, and Seokjin turns to him in confusion. “Wait, how do you know what the top bid is?”

Seokjin’s mind is racing, and he comes to only one conclusion.

“Fuck, the bid only closes tonight and it’s already $600??” Jeongguk groans as he stares wide-eyed at the stack of cash in his hands. “I only have just enough, provided it doesn’t go up any further.”

“I could lend you some first,” Yoongi says with his eyes still on his screen, and Jeongguk lights up like a Christmas tree.

“Really, hyung? Oh my god. You have no idea how much it would mean to me!” Jeongguk is all smiles once more.

The conversation is moving faster than Seokjin can comprehend.

“On one condition,” Yoongi turns around with his arms crossed. “I want to send her my cum too.”

“No way!” Jeongguk explodes in a ball of indignance. “The rules are clear. Only one person’s cum and it has to be from the person who won the bid! That’s cheating, hyung!!!”

“It’s fine if you don’t want to,” Yoongi shrugs indifferently as he turns back to his computer. “It’s not my loss.”

“I could never do that to meringuebaby,” Jeongguk says with clenched fists as he places one over his heart. “It would be like lying to her!”

Yoongi only snorts and mumbles something about being ‘totally whipped’ under his breath that Seokjin can’t quite catch. But then, all of a sudden, Jeongguk is turning to him with those puppy eyes and a pouting lower lip.

“Hyung, you have cash, don’t you? Can’t I borrow some? I promise I’ll pay you back,” Jeongguk says with reverence.

“I… um… I don’t get what’s…” Seokjin can only stutter, entirely overwhelmed by the past few minutes to form a coherent response. Yoongi visits this seedy little cam site too?? This meringuebaby person is earning just how muchas a scam girl??

“I’ll wash your dishes for three months, even during your baking practices,” Jeongguk throws in desperately.

And that seals the deal. As much as Seokjin loves baking, he absolutely hates the washing up. Not to mention when there are multiple icing tips, multiple mixing bowls, multiple trays… just thinking about it makes him feel exhausted already.

On top of that, he does have a rather large order coming up… having Jeongguk do the washing would make things so much easier.

So against the more rational part of his brain, he sighs and takes out his phone. “How much more do you need?”

♡

On the last night, when you log on to check the bids at exactly 10pm, your heart skips a beat when you see who is occupying the top slot.

“Oh my god, that crazy bastard really did it,” you mutter to yourself when you see that the top bid is way ahead of the second place winner. jackedasjeon had only placed his bid just two minutes ago, and also ensured that no one else could outdo him by bidding 4000 coins.

While a part of you is overjoyed at the extra income, you also wonder why someone would bid that much more than necessary. Perhaps this jackedasjeon person is really desperate… who are you to judge? You push the thought aside and make a new post to officially announce him as the winner, and see that the coins are transferred into your account. Then you send him a private message with details such as the address of your PO box that he should send the package too, as well as a few other administrative matters like how to securely wrap his package, what date he should send it by, and other things including the need for him to get officially tested and screened for any diseases and include the results in the package.

Not like you’ll actually need it anyway, but all the better to add to the realism.

Once you click send, you navigate to your account page to cash out all of your hard earned coins, and almost immediately, your phone lights up with a notification from your bank. You’re saved. Thank god for jackedasjeon.

You sigh in relief as you start to write a cheque to pay off your tuition fees.

♡

Jeon Jeongguk is over the moon. He is overjoyed. He is skipping all the way from class back home.

Throwing open the door, he can’t contain his excitement as he heads straight to his room. He opens the private message from you again just to make sure he hasn’t forgotten anything. The test results should be sent to him by email by today; he’d gone to get tested a few days ago just to make sure that there wouldn’t be any delay. He managed to get a few large, airtight vials as instructed, bubble wrap, and a sturdy cardboard box. The only thing left is…

Jeongguk sighs as he leans back in his chair, unzips his jeans, and starts to look for his favourite porn.

Which leads him to you, of course. More specifically, he begins browsing through some of your highlights videos on your page just to get himself in the mood. Just as he clicks on one where he remembers that you’re talking about your Sailor Moon outfit, he pauses.

Does he really want to do this?

A stupid question, granted all that he had gone through in order to secure the winning bid. But that aside, Jeon Jeongguk pauses. He finally has the chance to send the girl of his dreams something, anything at all. Does he really want to send her a vial of his cum? meringuebaby deserves to be treated way better than that. After all the hours of company and relief that you’ve provided him, Jeongguk feels like it just wouldn’t do to be this impersonal.

And in a way, Jeongguk does feel as if he owes you a word of thanks, at the very least. You made the past year of college slightly more bearable. Every week he has something to look forward to, someone who understands him, someone who makes him feel a little less lonely. Someone who helps him get through the hell that is college.

Then, Jeon Jeongguk realises he doesn’t really want to send you a vial of his cum like some weirdo. He just wants you to know how much he admires you, and sending you cum in the mail definitely isn’t the way to do that.

So he zips himself up again and reaches for some paper and a pen instead. If Yoongi ever found out he was about to do something this lame and sappy, Jeon Jeongguk feels like he would just die, so he double checks and triple checks that the door is locked, before he begins to pour out his feelings to meringuebaby on paper.

An hour passes, two hours, even, Jeongguk has lost track. But five sheets of paper later, he is finally satisfied with the end product as he puts everything into an envelope and drops it into the box. He puts away the unused vials into a drawer, wondering if he’s being an idiot for passing up on this chance.

But no. More than anything else, he wants you to know how he feels about you. How grateful he is that you do what you do. He doesn’t want to be jerking off and just sending you his cum like that. He wants you to know just how much you’ve helped him get through the not so good days. And what better opportunity than this? Maybe you’ll be so touched you’ll even read out his letter during your stream.

He nods to himself, confident of his decision as he seals the cardboard box.

♡

“You got another package,” Irene sings out as she knocks on your door.

You click pause on your online lecture to open the door, only to find your roommate holding a box in her arms.

“This one’s unusually light,” Irene mentions as she comes into your room, setting the box down on your desk. “Should we open it and check what’s inside?”

But you wave her away. “Nah, why bother? It’s gonna be nasty as hell. Even I don’t want to see the stuff. Just tear off the label and toss the package. Or just leave it by the door. I’ll dispose of it properly when I head out.”

“Is this the one that helped you pay your tuition?” She asks curiously as she begins to carefully tear the label off the box. “This ‘jackedasjeon’?”

“Yeah, he’s a platinum subscriber, but he’s never won before,” you say as you bring the box outside and leave it by the door. Come to think of it, it is unusually light as compared to the previous packages that you received. But it can’t be anything much, seeing as you’re going to toss it out anyway, so you don’t think much of it as you head back to your room to get a headstart on preparing for your stream.

“Should I do something special? He paid a lot for this,” you muse as Irene starts to get out the supplies to help you mix today’s batch of fake cum. “I was thinking of throwing in a freebie. You know, I saw one streamer selling the water that she soaked herself in while doing her stream. She bottled it up and added glitter and some food dye or some shit like that. Made it look like unicorn tears and called it her ‘Gamer Girl Bath Water’.”

Irene wrinkles her nose as she pours out some lube from a giant 2 litre bottle and starts adding some water to it to adjust the consistency. “That’s gross. I know I’m saying this as I’m literally mixing cum right now, but still.”

“You gotta give her credit where credit is due though,” you say at your reflection in the mirror as you tie up your hair and start your skincare routine first. “She’s creative as hell. Why didn’t I think of that first? Now I’ll have to come up with something else. Like selling my worn underwear or something.”

“Are you crazy?” Irene turns to you with her spoon still dripping onto the counter. “That’d cost you an arm and a leg!! You’ll barely break even like that.”

“You’re right…” you sigh in resignation. “What does a girl have to do these days to make some money??”

Irene is silent for a moment as she concentrates on adjusting the texture the way you taught her the very first time, while you put on your base layer of makeup.

“Is this okay? Too thin? What kind of cum do you think jackedasjeon would have?” Irene asks thoughtfully as she scoops some of the mixture onto her spoon and lets it drip back into the container.

“Hmm, I don’t know,” you reply, brows furrowed in concentration as you focus on getting your eyeliner just right. “I guess he seems like he might have a pretty thick load? He does have a nice cock. And nice arms. But I guess he can be kind of childish sometimes. Maybe thin it out a little more.”

Irene suppresses a giggle as she does as she’s told. Every time the two of you cook up that week’s batch, you always play a guessing game and make up facts about the mystery man whose cum you’re supposed to be playing with that week.

“Come help me with this,” you turn from the mirror with your eyes closed, holding out your false eyelashes. Irene is the only one who can get them on you, and without them, your disguise would not be complete.

“I have no idea what I’d do without you,” you sigh as Irene is putting the finishing touches on your hair and makeup an hour later. “Where would I find a roommate who mixes fake cum for me, and dresses me up to scam men on the internet?”

Irene giggles as she pats your cheek with a grin. “All done. Now go and earn us some money, meringuebaby.”

♡

“Hello!! I missed you guys so much! How are my cumnoisseurs today?” Your voice, bright and cheery, fills the entire room as Jeon Jeongguk settles into his desk chair, but he can’t seem to sit still. He is brimming with excitement, his heart is racing and it feels as if it might explode out of his chest.

You look beautiful as usual, dressed with your pink wig and Sailor Moon outfit, waving your star tipped wand about as you do your usual greetings, reading out the names of your top subscribers. Today you are surrounded by cupcakes with pastel pink, power blue, and snow white frosting on three tiered cake stands, and you reach for one cupcake, scooping a bit of the icing onto your finger and sucking on it.

“Aren’t they pretty?” You are scooping even more icing onto your finger, savouring the sweetness on your tongue with a cute little moan. Jeongguk feels the blood shoot straight to his cock upon hearing it. “I have some pink macarons here too! I decided to get these because I was craving something sweet today… don’t they look good?”

Jeongguk rushes to type his comment, adjusting himself with one hand as his jeans grow even tighter.

“I’m even sweeter than these?” You giggle as you read his comment, and Jeongguk feels a surge of adrenaline as he watches you wink at the camera as you continue. “I think that’s my line, jackedasjeon. I must admit that I was a little impatient and I had a taste of you earlier… that’s why I was craving something sweet!”

Jeongguk feels his heart seizing up as his eyes are glued to the screen. The words don’t really register in his brain as he watches you bounce up and down in excitement, and then he is distracted by your ample cleavage instead. You would have read his letter by now, right? Is that why you look so happy?

cherry_chim013: you should do a live where you’re in the kitchen cherry_chim013: wearing just an apron cherry_chim013: hehehehe

cherrychim is one perverted fucker. But Jeongguk can’t say that he wouldn’t like to see that visual either. He watches with a stupid goofy smile on his face as you talk a bit more about your day and eat a few cupcakes, getting some of the icing on the corner of your mouth, and Jeongguk wishes he could reach through the screen and help you wipe it off.

“I brought a whisk with me today! I just thought it would fit with today’s theme,” you brandish the utensil and wave it around. “I tried it on myself earlier and… it felt really nice as a massager. At the end of the stream, I’ll be giving it away to this week’s winner!”

Jeongguk watches as you start to use the whisk to play with yourself, running it up and down your body as you play with your own breasts over your bra. He is entranced and absorbed. You push your skirt up to reveal your panties that already have a wet patch on them, and start to rub yourself with the whisk over them. Your cute little moans and whines are getting him harder and harder, and when you push your panties to the side and start to finger yourself, Jeongguk groans audibly.

“Let’s really start the party now, shall we?” You pause with a glance at the camera as you lick your own fingers clean. “This week’s winner is jackedasjeon! Thank you so much for your… generous donation, it was well received!”

You brandish your faithful purple squirting dildo, and accidentally squirt some of the cum onto a nearby cupcake.

“Oops! How careless of me!” You gasp as you pick up the cupcake and scoop up the icing, with the cum on it, and put it in your mouth. “Tastes like salted caramel now,” you giggle.

Jeongguk swears under his breath as he watches you taste the cum stained cupcakes. He was never really into foodplay, but watching you like this, he just might reconsider.

“It’s supposed to go inside me, not on the cupcakes!” You are giggling as you scold yourself. “Sorry about that, jackedasjeon. But since you sent me so much, there’s more than enough cum to go inside me.”

At first, Jeon Jeongguk is far too horny to hear what you actually said. But after a few moments, the words register in his mind, and he frowns in confusion.

“Wh-what?” Jeongguk says aloud even as you start to suck the head of the dildo, squirting some of the cum out messily around your lips as you go. “But I didn’t… how can this be?”

There must be some sort of mistake. Jeongguk didn’t even jerk off that day, let alone send you any cum in that package, so how can you still be streaming and thanking him like this? He opens the drawers at his desk to make sure that the vials are still there. They are sitting at the back of his desk, untouched from the last time he left them.

You are showing the camera ‘his’ cum now on your tongue, making a great show of playing with it and swallowing it. After a bit, you start to tease yourself with it, playing with your clit and as Jeongguk watches the cum drip onto your cunt, his erection just dies down completely.

As if to confirm his suspicions, he watches the cum drip down your chin, and it look suspicious. Even if he had somehow mistakenly sent you his cum, the cum that you are playing with right now is most definitely fake. In fact, it looks just like lube wth some water added to thin it out.

If he didn’t send you any cum… and you are still streaming as if you received it in the mail…

This can only mean one thing.

Jeon Jeongguk has been scammed.

♡♡♡

#bts #bts jungkook #bts jungkook smut #bts smut #ksmutclub #btsmaknaenet

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cheetoflavoredcake · 4 years

Text

Hate is Such a Strong Word - ReddNook - Chapter 1

It’s finally here! This one is over 1600 words and I’m quite pleased with how it came out. Anyways, enjoy

Tom sighed as he finished filling out another paper, already regretting pulling an all nighter previously. The island representative had been doing a lot more trading as of late, as well as visiting friends and joining in events, causing him to be overloaded with paperwork to fill out. He knew that they had started giving the island a new theme, something to do with magic and horror, and had been pulling all nighters themselves - although he knew that they never looked like it. He enjoyed watching their progress from the window when he drank his morning coffee, it was always a wonder to him how they managed to think of these things. He also noticed that, even with the new changes being made, the huge flower field that had been made not too long ago, wasn’t going to ever move - the island representative cherished that place with her life.

Speaking of the island, it had become quite the feat. To think that all this place had been was a weed filled rock in the middle of the ocean was amazing. When he had first had this idea, he knew it was crazy but he still acted on impulse and bought the island without a second choice. While he was packing up his bags, he thought of all the possibilities and memories he could make with the boys. When he did get on the island and only saw three people who had actually purchased the getaway, he got a bit discouraged but he reminded him this was only the beginning and it would get better, and better it did.

Cheetovillie, the name the island representative had happily suggested, had only gotten better by the day. Of course it had to be expected that at first things were slow, but once the island rep. had gotten enough bells to pay to upgrade all the houses and had gotten access to nook mile tickets, the island grew faster than ever. There was never a moment in that time where they weren’t seen working on the image of the island. It had only been a matter of time before he had called Isabelle and upgraded his lousy tent to a whole residents service building.

Not too long ago, they had managed to get the famous K.K Slider himself to play for the island and its residents, not only that, but he had even offered to play every Saturday! It had taken all his self control to not fanboy right then and there.

He smiled, looking at the clock to his left. 4:57 a.m, he must’ve gotten lost in his reminiscing, but it was worth it in his mind. Isabelle and the boys would be getting up in a couple hours, meaning he had to finish up these last few papers to make sure he had enough time to cook breakfast - seeing as he wasn’t all that good at making food without burning it beyond no return. Isabelle had made sure to record today's announcement earlier before she went to bed and all Tom had to do was post it so everyone could see it once they awoke.

Quickly finishing one last paper, he hurriedly posted the recording just as the clock struck five ante meridiem. Sighing as he put the last signed page with the others, he slowly got up and stretched with a groan. Man, he really was getting old. Although many didn’t count forty being truly old, it was still up there in his mind. He had definitely gained some weight - maybe it was that ‘dad bod’ like the island representative had mumbled about a few times.

He pushed his chair in quietly before opening the door up to the small apartments implemented into the building. It had a nice, dark green and brown scheme, giving it an old timey feel to it. To the left was the door that led to Isabelle’s apartment, and to the right was his and the boys apartment - which was slightly bigger than Isabelle’s due to them having more people.

Tom quietly opened the door, making sure not to disturb the teens in the other room. They had turned thirteen this year, and he almost couldn’t believe it. It seemed just like yesterday that he was holding their tiny forms in his arms after his sister's death. He was devastated about her passing but he knew he had to take the boys, it was all he had left of her. The worst part is they were only a month or two old, and it had been about two years after Redd had abruptly left and taken all of his belongings. It had been hard for him to rebuild his business all the while raising his two nephews, but he chugged on through.

The brunette grabbed the pancake batter left over from yesterday from the fridge, and proceeded to then grab a pan and set it on the stove, pouring the batter in simultaneously as it heated up. As he waited, he leaned on the islander behind him and thought more on the previous topic. It had been fifteen years since he had last spoken to that scammer, and he’s never felt better. Leaving that swindling fox behind was one of his best decisions - his other was getting the boys and buying this island. He used to dwell on him and wonder if he was coming back but now that he's older, he realizes how foolish that thought was.

Sniffing the air, he came back down to Earth and looked in front of himself. Sure enough, the pancakes were burnt horrendously. Man, it was going to be a long day.

------------------

The boys had left to go to the Cranny an hour and a half ago before the island rep came barging in. She was wearing her witch costume that she looked oh-so-dearly, except she had changed out the black pointed shoes for some simple black flats. She adjusted the goggles on her face before giving a wave to Tom and Isabelle and turning to the ABD. With fast hands she typed in her search and bought what she needed, K.K. Love Song. Although she looked like someone who would be into darker songs - which she was, - she was a collector of all the K.K. albums and even traded some for others.

Pulling down her black face mask, she turned around to face her landlord.

“ ‘Ey, Mr. Nook?”

She started as she walked over to the older male’s desk. He turned his head away from the computer he was glued to and walked over to the counter where she was sat. He made a noise of acknowledgement before she continued.

“ I, uh, saw this orange-y guy, he looked like a, um, sales person? So, aaah, I was wondering if you hired another guy to come here and I just forgot about it?”

The white haired girl said curiously. Everyone knew how she fumbled with her wording all the time, and how she could be extremely forgetful, so a question like this was ordinary. One time she even went around the whole island looking for the Museum for a half an hour before solemnly walking into Residents Services to ask where the Museum was again.

But Tom knew that he hadn’t gotten another vendor to come here. Although sometimes the rep would claim they saw something but it usually ended up being her imagination, but this, this was different. Maybe there was a camper that went outside of the tent and he had just forgot? But what did she mean by orangey?

“....I don’t remember getting another vendor. Would you mind explaining more?”

The brunette drawled quizzically. The girl in front of him pursed her lips, seemingly thinking of whatever pieces of this mysterious man she could muster.

“He seemed really...uh...ah”

She started slowly, puffing up her cheeks and blubbering like a fish before she jolted upwards and smacked her hands on the desk

“Sketchy! Yeah, that's the word, really sketchy. I think he also mentioned a boat? Said he was ‘jolly’. Can’t remember much, but he did send me this thingy in the mail. I think I bought it from him? Don’t trust my word on that.”

The witchy girl rambled, trying to say as much as she could before she forgot it all again. This only made Tom worry. What was this ‘thing’ she bought? And what did she mean by ‘jolly’? There were many questions he had but he knew he couldn’t get all the answers at the moment.

“Alright, thank you Cheeto, we’ll look into it.”

He said and smiled, which earned a quirky smirk from the girl, before he turned to his companion who - of course - had been listening to the whole conversation. The woman flinched before listening intently as the man spoke.

“Isabelle, would you please write all of that down for me? And make a note to announce of a sketchy individual tomorrow.”

The blonde nodded forcefully with a quiet ‘Yes sir!’ before quickly scribbling down the important details. Tom turned back to the girl who was sitting patiently on the stool whilst kicking her legs childishly.

“Thank you again Cheeto, you're free to go now.”

At the mention of her name, she looked up at him. She jumped off her stool and headed towards the door whilst fiddling with her mask. She opened the door ever so slightly before pivoting on her foot to give a wave and a smile, then proceeding back outside where she belonged.

Tom let out a sigh before sitting back down to get back to work. Hopefully this would all blow over and things would go back to normal, worry free.

#jolly redd #reddnook #tom nook x crazy redd #crazy redd #a03 fanfic #fanfiction

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erikismybitch · 5 years

Text

Waiting In Vain: Chapter 9

Long Distance

The bar was extremely packed this night . Marley had finally cashed out her drawer and collected all of her tips. Becky , who kept checking up on Marley every five minutes was worried. She knew about everything, even the police raid . Becky insisted that Marley come and stay with her and her husband but she declined.

“You can save more money that way , I’ve already talked to Pedro about it , he’s fine” Becky rubbed Marley’s lower back and forced her into an odd hug.

“I won’t be in this hotel too much longer , I got some places in the works” she blinked hard , lying .

“Fine!” Becky was outraged by Marley’s stubbornness, she cursed some things in Spanish and started stocking the empty bar .

“I’ll call you in the morning, let’s get brunch” Marley started to make her way out of the bar , knowing that food always pleased Becky.

“You better!”

She clocked her surroundings on the journey to her car . Last night Hakeem had popped up and scared her nearly half to death . After she cursed him out, he left her alone . Besides him, she never knew what other creeps roamed out there, especially after midnight .

Marley locked her doors and blasted the car heater when she got inside . She drove off to the hotel that she had been calling home for three weeks . It was an okay place. It had a kitchen , a bedroom that was closed off and the maids made her bed every day . The pricing was around six hundred a week, so she needed to find an apartment sooner than later .

She entered inside of the hotel lobby, and said hi to Chadwick. The concierge that knew her by her name , helped her bring up groceries and told corny jokes that she laughed at only because he was nice. Marley went into her room, took a much needed shower and put some left over soul food in the microwave. The TV channels at the hotel could be better , so instead she used her laptop . She sat on the bed , ate and caught up with some vloggers she’d been behind on. She thought about vlogging her horrible life , but those never got views . She had to be some semi rich girl , living in the city who went on makeup company sponsored trips. Like Tiana. Marley rolled her eyes at the thought of her cousin. Who at last she heard had landed her an NBA baller boyfriend and was living in his mansion.

Marley sucked on the bone of her smothered pork chop and let out a loud burp . She was full and satisfied . After placing the plate on the night stand, she rested back into the pillows .

Just as she thought she’d would be falling asleep , her phone rang. It was a number she had never seen , an area code she didn’t recognize either . At first she wasn’t going to answer it , it was really late and it was probably a robo call . But whatever.

“Hello?” She pretended to sound tired and unamused.

“Aye” A male baritone spoke through the other line . He didn’t have to say another word, Marley knew it was Erik. “I can’t get you the fuck off my mind”

“That a bad thing ?” Marley sat up, fully alert now.

“I’m tryna’ figure that out” his voice full of contemplation. It was low, the two of them said nothing for a while . The small break had Marley flustered, she put the phone on speaker and laid back down. “You still there?” He asked . Absolutely

“I’m here, where are you ?”

“You know...Around” he seemed amused at his response.

“Not with this scammer ass area code you called me from”

He laughed at her joke, she had never really heard him laugh before . It was low pitched and short . She found herself liking the sound of it . Almost as much as the sound of his actual voice .

“I’m no scammer , baby girl”

“Yeah, okay”

Marley got up, she placed the phone under her chin and grabbed her glass and plate to wash. Erik could hear the clinking of dishes over the line .

“You eating huh?” He asked . Marley cut the sink off , expecting him to hit her with one of his classic jokes .

“Yes , cause I’m fat” Marley was full of sarcasm. figuring she’d beat him to the punch , that way he would maybe back off.

“You not even fat , you not skinny either you just straight”

“So all the jokes about me eating...” She asked for clarity , she didn’t know exactly what he meant.

“ Compared to me, you small. I just like getting under your skin”

“Why though ?” Marley maneuvered herself towards the living room couch, she sprawled her body across the arm .

“I don’t know, to see how much you could take” Erik didn’t laugh after his statement, the way Marley thought he should have.

“So now you’ve seen how much I can take?”

“Trust me, I don’t know any girl who can take all of me”

Marley cleared her throat , unprepared for the sexual innuendos. She thought it may have just been her mind hearing dirty things until Erik laughed again.

“Well...Your dreads are ugly , is it a fade or not ?” She took a jab back at him, hoping to battle it out .

“You know you like them , come harder than that” Eriks arrogance, encouraged her.

“You have weirdly chubby hands”

“I knowww you ain’t talking about chubby!”

“Fuck you!” Marley shouted and released all the bottled anxiety she had pent inside . She laughed , she didn’t know why but she laughed hard . And it felt good . “Oh my god” she took a deep breath and came back down .

“See you can take a joke” .

“You sound like you’re trying to train me” Her feet stretched against the wall , while her body laid against the couch . The phone sat on her chest , still on speaker . Her body positions moved in different ways , similar to the flow of their conversation.

“I’m training you for me”

“Boy please” Marley let out a shocking blow of spit and sat upright now.

“You know you wanna be on my team”

“You called me, sounds to me like you wanna be on mine”

He groaned at her sassiness , that was something he liked about her . If he pushed her enough, she’d bite.

“Marley” He spoke almost too soft , then let out a pause . She eyed the phone . Just watching the phone time add up by the second. She had been on the phone for almost fifteen minutes with Erik. Her face was getting hot from just anticipating what he might say next . The way he said her name , like he needed to get something off his chest . “Nevermind” he said almost too quickly.

She frowned and changed the energy with a new topic . “So..” she settled back into the bedroom. “Our little strip club stunt got me kicked out of my apartment”

“Good” he replied

“Good ?” Marley repeated as if she made a mistake.

“She kept talking about how she didn’t want you there anyway , you needed to get out of there��

“Oh yeah , what else she say ?” Marley was curious to know . She pulled back her comforter and sheets and got into her bed . With a click of her night stand lamp, the room was pitch black.

“We not here to talk about her , fuck her”

“She called you her boyfriend , you know”

Erik sucked his teeth loudly and let out a groan, Marley’s smile was like a Cheshire Cat now. “Tiana has never even seen me in the daylight ”

“Really?” Marley said in disbelief, she had this perception of the two of them totally wrong. Marley told him about what had happened. Erik has no idea on account of the fact that there were no traces of him online. He went into a whole debacle about how social media was dumb and unnecessary. He even suggested Marley deleted hers. She told him she was considering a break anyway.

“You moved into your own spot ?” He asked .

“I’m in a hotel right now , still looking but it’s hard” Marley didn’t even hesitate to tell him she lived in a hotel. She had come to a point where she was shameless.

“Finding a spot is Hard ?”

“My credit is shot from student loans” she admitted.

“Didn’t your mama teach you about credit?” Erik joked

“She passed when I was twelve ,so no”

“Let me teach you then”

“Teach me”

“Credit is everything” Erik said, then stopped talking as if he was finished .

“Is that it?”

“Yep”

“I hate you” she laughed hard again and kept smiling even after the funny was gone.

“Where do you want to live ?” He asked her .

She thought about the question. Where did she want to live in the future, or right now . In the future, she wanted to live an island life in some other country. Costa Rica, maybe Belize and grow old on the beach. Her thought process was taking a little to long so he asked her the question again, louder.

“There’s this small vintage apartment complex near my sports bar job. It’s so cute, with a little garden in the front and a fountain. A lot of old people live there so they take care of it . They had a vacancy, I put in my application a week ago”

“You work at a bar . I thought you did nerdy computer shit”

Marley wondered exactly what else Tiana told him about her. “Both , and what I do is not nerdy computer shit . What do you do ?”

“Nerdy computer shit” Erik couldn’t finish his statement before he let out a laugh . He looked at his phone screen, realizing that he had been on the phone for almost an hour with Marley. “Marley”

He did the thing again, where he said her name as if he wanted to get something off his chest. So she waited again for him to speak .

“Yes?”

“Pick up when I call , aight”

“Okay”

He hung up the phone , with his peculiar way of saying goodbye. Tiana may have had a new baller boyfriend, but the one she was crying over was in Marleys world.

(Sorry for typos)

#its about to go down

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gretchensinister · 6 years

Text

Operation Welcome Mat (preview)

I usually like to post a fic for my birthday, and well, this is a few days belated, but sometimes that’s how it goes. This is a preview of something I’m working on, now, and it’s a branching out of my usual fandom territory! I hope you’re curious, and I hope you enjoy!

It all stems from the question: Why does so much stuff that only Superman can deal with happen on the planet that Superman is on? That’s not the question that Lois Lane asks, but it’s the one she’s going to find an answer for.

Lois Lane always checks her spam folder. In fact, she always opens each individual message in there. Ninety-nine point nine nine nine percent of the time, what’s in there is garbage, but garbage is not synonymous with useless. Consider the journalists in Portland who went through the District Attorney’s garbage to make a point about privacy. Her daily ritual isn’t on that level of significance, but she feels the point still stands.

Today, she opens an email that isn’t promising free trials of herbal supplements, contact info for hot singles in her area, or insurance policies that will cover damages caused by any and all anomalous events for as little as $10 a month. (These last annoyed her enough to ask Louise in Business to do a small expose on such companies—turns out, the fine print stated that given the regularity of attacks on Metropolis by aliens, robots, metahumans, etc., etc., these events could not be considered anomalous. Fucking scammers. She’s pretty sure they’re involved in a class-action lawsuit right now.)

Instead, it reads thus:

I am sending this to you because I think you are the only person in the world who might have adequate protection after I tell you this. It is for my safety and yours that I have not used your name or described what that protection might be.

I ask you to use any and all resources you have at your disposal to investigate Operation Welcome Mat. I cannot tell you much more without compromising the slight chance this communication has of reaching you. However, I do not exaggerate when I say that the revealing—anything more I dare not hope for—of this operation will affect every human life on Earth.

Sincerely,

One who works in the organization that knows you always check your spam folder

The remaining message is a long and rambling series of testimonials for anti-aging and potency supplements, but Lois sees no reason to consider these as marks against the authenticity of the original message. Camouflage is important. As is covering one’s tracks. She opens her desk drawer and retrieves a high-quality digital camera that’s nevertheless old enough that it needs an actual physical cord to transfer the pictures on it to any computer. Lois has kept it in excellent condition, save for, oh, the pesky matter of the fact that the delete function doesn’t work on the camera itself, and that she just can never find the right kind of removable memory cards. Darn, what a problem! Fortunately the camera contains a 5000-image capacity non-removable internal memory. She takes a picture of the relevant portion of the email—well, ten pictures—and then sets about blocking every IP address that’s sent her something that ended up in her spam folder today and deleting every email indiscriminately. She’d like to perform a more thorough delete, but she never does that with any of her spam, and she’s got a feeling that now would not be a good day to start.

Amateurs might worry about how she deleted the original email, but Lois knows that if she finds anything, she won’t need that email, and for another thing, the writer of that email most certainly doesn’t want anyone to be able to analyze their word choices and phrasing.

She rests her arms on her desk and starts letting her mind work through everything the email told her. So, she’s the only person who “might have adequate protection” after learning about Operation Welcome Mat? The only unique protection she’s had under any circumstances is Superman. In a few well-known incidents, he’d appeared to give preference to getting her to safety before others. Lois isn’t one hundred percent sure that’s true, as she knows very well that she might’ve been the person in the greatest danger during each incident. Over her career, she’s tended to disregard danger for the sake of the story. And she can argue persuasively that in order to be a successful female journalist, she has to be prepared to face a certain amount of danger; she can argue that her years of experience have given her the ability to accurately evaluate the potential danger of a situation. These arguments have been, and are, vital to her public persona.

But under a few layers of “I have to do this” is the chewy center of “I want to do this.” It’s true! Believe it or not, Lois Lane, Pulitzer Prize-winning investigative journalist, is a bit of a thrill-seeker!

Good thing that might be exactly what her email contact needs.

So. Back to the email. Back to Superman. She knows well enough that she doesn’t have a raven-haired alien angel at her beck and call, but, based on what the public has seen, is it more likely that she does than any other investigative journalist? Yes. So, if only Superman can offer her adequate protection, then—

“Hi Lois,” Clark says, setting a paper cup on her desk. “Two sugars, no milk—” He breaks off into an almost cartoonishly exaggerated yawn that Lois nevertheless is familiar enough with to know is genuine.

“You ought to buy some coffee for yourself,” Lois says, digging a few dollars out of her wallet and tossing them at him, which he barely catches. “I mean, if you’re going to volunteer to walk down to Reeve’s every day, anyway. And didn’t you grow up waking up at 4am to milk cows or whatever?”

Clark smiles shyly. Like he always does. It’s a good smile, and on a kid who’s six foot three and probably better built than any of the barns he ever helped raise, it could very well explain why he always seems so exhausted in the morning. Though if Lois’ theory is true, she hasn’t seen or heard any other evidence of it. A gentleman never tells, Lois thinks idly.

“I can and have milked cows in my sleep,” he says. “I can’t do anything in my sleep, here.” He looks down. “Uh, the truth is that I haven’t been sleeping well since the—what did they call it? The Chirauga Incident?”

Lois grimaces. Yeah, Clark and half of Metropolis. Including her. When an army of aliens that big showed up all at once, there was no way to avoid some level of freaking out, special protection from Superman or not. “Yeah, the Chirauga Incident. Ugly sons of bitches, in my opinion. I killed one personally, you know.”

Clark’s eyes widen in shock, and Lois grins. “What? I verified they weren’t bulletproof before going out to start, you know, researching my story.” But, because she is committed to the truth, even though Clark seems like he’ll believe anything she says, she has to add, “Well, okay. I’m pretty sure I mortally wounded it. Superman took care of it before I could find out for sure.” It had been clean. Heat vision through the Chirauga equivalent of the spinal cord. And Superman had turned to her with that red glow still shimmering in the back of his eyes. “Are you all right?” he’d asked, hovering a foot above the ground like it was nothing, looking at her like she was something. And she’d looked into the terrible weapon of his gaze and been stunned by the perfect surety that he’d never use it on a human being.

And for all that, she’d never seen him look so alien.

“Weren’t you watching? I had this one handled,” she’d said, with a rasp in her voice she hoped he’d attribute to the heavy dust and smoke in the air.

“Well, in that case, I guess all I can do now is tell you to be careful out there,” he’d said.

It would be nice if there was a discreet little jump cut in her memory right after that, but, unfortunately, Lois remembers with perfect clarity that she’d responded, “Sure thing, spaceboy,” like a complete and utter dumbass. But then Superman hadn’t laughed at her, no, he’d given her the smile and wink of an old-fashioned movie star before flying away to continue saving the world. She, on the other hand, had staggered off, feeling as emotionally churned-up as a teenager.

The worst part about it, in her opinion, is that she knows very well that Superman has this effect on almost everyone who encounters him.

“Ah, Superman,” Clark says, drawing her back to the present. His shocked expression has been replaced by the little smile she’s often seen him wear when talk of Superman comes up. She’s always thought there was something secretive about that smile, something notably different from the rest of his farm-boy guilelessness. (Though, she doesn’t quite believe he’s as transparent as he otherwise appears. And she doesn’t think that’s just her natural suspicion kicking in. For one thing, the Daily Planet is big, but not big enough that someone who was hired as a journalist could fall through the cracks and become nothing but a friendly coffee boy. She’s read some of his articles, the neighborhood news stuff he generally covers, and the writing is as solid as he is, with words chosen with care and sensitivity. There’s more to him than meets the eye, and if he ever decides to get ambitious, Lifestyle is in for a big surprise. For another thing, he’d moved to Metropolis during a metahuman surge, and that, frankly, was not what normies did, no matter how clueless they were.)

The running undercurrent of what she knows about Clark and the smile that’s the one noticeable discordant note in the melody of the person she works with suddenly gel into a possible conclusion, one that Lois could’ve kicked herself for not even considering earlier.

Talented kid moves from small-town Kansas, where he could’ve been a big fish in a tiny pond. And he doesn’t even move to a city in the same state or region, where he could have been a big fish in a medium-sized pond. Instead, he moves to Metropolis, where he won’t be a big fish at all, but where it’ll be a big project for anyone who knew him in Smallville to ever visit, or know anything about him he doesn’t want them to know. Metropolis, which, despite its dangers, still lives in the cultural mind as a place where the good kind of anything can happen. (Where Superman is often seen.) And when he’s here, he never, ever says anything about even going on a date with anyone, and mentions of Superman bring out that secretive smile. And he started off writing his articles with a clear awareness of issues that Lois has seen other straight white male coworkers fail to grok even after clear, baby-step-style explanations. And he’s never, ever tried to turn getting her coffee into something uncomfortable.

So, possible conclusion: Clark is some flavor of queer, and still closeted/uncomfortable about it. But he can’t completely hide his crush on Superman because, well. Superman. And the kid has an honest face.

Just goes to show, she thinks, how slow and unreliable gaydar can be, even if you are bi.

But this does give her an idea on where to send him as she starts her initial investigation of this Project Welcome Mat. If it is big, bad business like it seems, Clark doesn’t need to get mixed up in it, even to the point of overhearing a phone call. And besides, it might help him accept himself, if he needs that.

“You know what, Clark?” Lois says. “You need something to take your mind off shit like alien invasions.”

Clark grimaces. “I don’t know if anything can.”

“Yeah, it’s a toughie, but you’re a Metropolitan now,” Lois says, with more bravado than she feels. Some things you don’t get used to. But some of those things you have to at least pretend to get used to. “Get outside. Write your cat-up-a-tree article tomorrow. Do something completely out of the ordinary.” And then, as if she’s just thought of it, “Powtown Pride is going on today. Powtown’s a neighborhood. Pride’s something to write about. You could go there and see what you can see.”

“Powtown?” Clark says, raising his eyebrows. “That’s the metahuman neighborhood. That’s…a bit more interesting than where Rowlands usually sends me.”

Lois waves her hand. “Rita is seventy-eight and still thinks anything involving a metahuman is a front-pager. Perry can tell her otherwise when you bring back something nice.”

“Well,” Clark says, warming to the idea, “there are a lot of misconceptions about Powtown that ought to be worn away by a reliable source like the Planet. I mean—there probably are. I don’t know, personally. But if everything written about Powtown was true, no one could live there. It’d be a smoking crater in the ground.”

“So you see? Needs you,” Lois says. She smirks. “Be careful, though. They’ve got twinks down there that could rip you in half.”

“Says someone who just told me about personally shooting a Chirauga,” Clark says. “No, no, I know—you had it handled. Anyway. Yeah, I will go.” He looks towards the windows and sighs. “After all, it’s a beautiful day to be outside.”

Lois waves at him as he leaves, then glances towards the windows herself. It really is a beautiful June day, not too hot, vivid blue sky, puffy clouds slowly drifting by. Does Superman prefer days like this for flying? She wonders. Or would it not affect him at all? What would it be like to fly with Superman on a day like today—Lois sticks her tongue out in an exaggerated expression of disgust. She’s better than that! She has to be!

Anyway, she’s got something new to investigate. Before Clark interrupted, she was thinking of what things out in the world only Superman could be adequate protection from. Well, aside from horrible things from space, that leaves a very short list that prominently features a house of a certain color and a building of a certain shape. And the name—Operation Welcome Mat—it has a very particular ring to it.

But she’s still going to look into the rest of that short list. A direct assault isn’t the correct approach here, and besides, there might be connections, even if the person she’s going to call is officially blacklisted from government contracts.

She scrolls to the contact in her phone for “Louis L’Amour,” and reaches out to someone who definitely isn’t a dead writer of Westerns.

Notes: I’ve decided to have Superman’s code against killing be specifically about humans/earthlings because for one thing, I don’t have to answer to Standards and Practices, and for another, I don’t feel like having every alien army be robots (which with sufficiently advanced AI doesn’t help anyway), and what do you want me to do, have Superman knock all the aliens out? If they’re going down long enough to be essentially counted out of the fight, they’re getting life-threatening brain injuries anyway.

#superman #lois lane #fic #operation welcome mat #my knowledge of superman comes from the DCAU but this is kind of my own 'verse

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spacebrick3 · 6 years

Text

Duo WHG Prompt 4: Anechoi and VALENTINA

This is prompt 4 (The Train) for @ratracechronicler‘s amazing Writeblr Hunger Games! Also featuring Rat and Vici, more amazing characters from @ratracechronicler, plus a sulky Valentina and Anechoi who’s out to make friends!

It’s also a little long - I got sort of carried away writing the interactions between Anechoi, Rat, and Vici. (They’re fun to write.)

I filtered onto the bullet train with Sara and Rochelle. They didn’t try and sign to me or anything. I was 90% sure they thought I was crazy. Granted, I did talk to the voice in my head, but I was 85% sure it was VAL and not my own manifest delusions there.

What’s the other 15%? Val asked as I hopped onto the steps.

That’s none of your business. The inside of the train was done in posh leather and velvet. Looked nice, especially the gold lanterns, but it didn’t seem like it fit the word ‘train’. Trains are supposed to be transportation, methods to get you from Point A to Point B, and they’re supposed to look like it. They’re not supposed to look like the inside of some fancy hotel room. Not that I’d ever stayed in one. But I’d been in one, at least.

Since Sara and Rochelle pretty quickly headed off with our Victor - evidently he didn’t want to stay with the crazy saboteur - I headed towards the back of the train. There’d be tributes from other districts there, and maybe I could find somebody who didn’t think I was crazy. That means you shut up, by the way, I reminded Val. I don’t want to have to tune out while I talk to you.

She sulked at that. I’m not good enough for you, is that it?

No, you’re fine. But since nobody else can hear you, it’s kinda weird to talk to the voice in my head while I’m talking to - you know - actual people.

Val didn’t respond. That happened sometimes. I sighed under my breath. At least it wasn’t during a job. One time, she’d been sulking while I was trying to break into a bank. Guard snuck up behind me (well, he wasn’t sneaking, but I couldn’t hear him, so), and only ‘cause the titanium door was already falling did I get out of the way in time. He didn’t, and so he broke both his legs. But it wasn’t my fault. That was the important bit.

The hallways were mostly empty now - District 9 was far enough back that they hadn’t filled up yet. I slipped through two more sets of doors and into a larger, gold-bordered…sitting room? living room? couch room? Who knew. It was a room, with couches in it. Two other tributes were standing behind one of them, talking to each other animatedly. One of them was taller than the other, with long black hair in a tight braid. The other was short, with wild, messy, goddamn colorful hair. She seemed to have applied the same care to her clothes as to her hair - that is to say, none - dressed in unremarkable grey, leaning on the couch with her hands in her pockets.

They didn’t seem to have noticed me. I reached over and tapped the shorter one on the shoulder. She jumped, taking a step away from me and glancing around nervously. I mean, I didn’t blame her, but it still stung a bit. “What? Who are you?” she demanded. I think. It was hard to read her lips.

“Hello,” I signed. “I’m Anechoi. Either of you know sign language?”

The taller one frowned, looking confused, but the shorter girl nodded. “Some,” she signed back, a little clumsily. Still, that was more than most of District 9.

“Great!” I replied. “You people have names?” I realized I was signing too fast, so I slowed the last bit down. “Names?” I repeated.

“Yeah - I’m Rat, and that (something? snowflake? it was a sign I didn’t recognize) there is Vici.” The taller one - Vici, apparently - was still looking between me and Rat with confusion, and muttered something to Rat that I couldn’t see. She replied with something else, and Vici rolled her eyes and stepped away. “Sorry,” she continued. “Bit…” She paused, obviously looking for the word. She pointed up, then right. Upright? I guessed.

Huh. These were the first people I’d found since the interpreter in the Capitol who could use sign language. It’d be nice to have someone to talk to besides Valentina, although these would be people trying to kill me. I started to respond, then noticed something.

I gave Rat a hold on sign, glancing around the room to check what I had seen. Had I seen it? I wandered over into the corner, reaching a hand up to the back of the camera. Sure enough, there was a bundle of wires clustered there, and none of the lights were on. When I let it go, it slumped back down, pointing listlessly at the ground. I shot a glance backwards, and she and Vici had already moved towards the door, ready to run. “So,” I signed. “Not friends of the Capitol either?”

“You aren’t?” she asked.

“No,” I replied. “But won’t they notice something with the cameras?”

It took her a second to work through those signs. “They shouldn’t. Just…put them differently. Onto different ones.”

“A different video feed? You rewired them for a different compartment?”

“I - yeah. Should have. Extra one in back. No one there.”

I nodded, impressed. Generally I just had Valentina handle that sort of stuff for me, but I’d never seen her actually change out one video feed for another, live one. Loop them, yes, but not swap them. “I’m assuming you generally work outside of the law then?” I asked.

She actually smiled at that. “Can’t say. Very…maybe.” Very possible, I assumed.

I upgraded their status from potential people to talk with to potential allies. “Well, it’s your lucky day! I do too!” Was I overdoing it? Maybe. “What do you do? Scammer? Smuggler? Off-market stock trades?”

Rat exchanged a few words with Vici, who shook her head. Vici didn’t seem to like me that much. But Rat waved her off and turned back to me. “Thief,” she signed.

Like my job, but with less explosives. Not too bad. “Saboteur,” I signed back, but that seemed to go over her head. Fine then. “Thief with explosives,” I amended.

“I see,” she said, nodding. “Looks like fun, but you can’t go back then.” She paused, then went on. “You have a friend? Someone who should be here?”

My accomplice. I gestured to my head, where Valentina was still pouting. Get over it, I told her. “I’ve got a computer up here,” I signed. “Counts as a person, and she got chosen.” I shook my head.

Rat frowned. “How does that work?”

“I don’t know,” I signed with a shrug, “but I’m here.”

At this point, Vici rather forcefully jabbed Rat on the shoulder. She gestured to me, then at the door. Rat shrugged. “Vici thinks we should leave,” she signed to me. “Doesn’t trust you.”

“Why not?”

“You blow things up?”

“You steal stuff,” I retorted.

She acknowledged that. “Fair. So what do we do? Won’t stay…not seen forever.” The cameras wouldn’t stay looped. I checked round the room again. There wouldn’t be anywhere on the train without cameras, not with the current administration at least. So that meant…

Fumbling around in my belt, I pulled out the small fuel tank and my bolt cutter. I hooked them together, then looked over at Rat. “Could you give me a boost?”

She glanced up at the locked access panel on the ceiling, then at the bolt cutter in my hands. “The roof? You want to go to the roof?”

I shrugged. “No cameras. There’s a nice view. What’s not to love?”

She said something to Vici - probably checking whether she’d come with. She seemed unwilling, but it looked like Rat was a pretty convincing - er, negotiator. As they argued (discussed?) I wondered idly if she dyed her hair. I didn’t think hair was naturally rainbow like that. After a minute, she turned back to me. “Vici says ok. Plus, she’s going to…” She gestured up. Vici was going to give me the boost. I guess she was taller, but she also didn’t like me as well.

She rolled her eyes and came over, gesturing for me to step onto her hands. Please don’t drop me, I thought internally, noting the still-distrustful look in her eyes. So it was that moment Valentina chose to come back.

Who are you talking to? she asked as I started working on the lock. It looked pretty solid, and this was not a…subtle device. I’d have to wait until it melted all the way through.

Some actual people, I told her. Names of Rat and Vici. They’re also criminals, so I think we can trust them.

People being criminals makes you trust them? she asked. And what kind of name is Rat anyways? Who thinks to themselves ‘hey, I’m going to name myself after sewer vermin!’

I thought for a moment, then flicked the off-switch for Valentina at the back of my neck. Let her enjoy a little downtime if she couldn’t play nice with others. Vici gave me an odd look, but didn’t comment on it. Or maybe she did. I couldn’t hear her.

A glob of molten metal hit the ground. Vici darted out of the way surprisingly skillfully, but unfortunately that left me with nothing to stand on. I crashed to the ground, dropping the cutter and hoping it wouldn’t burn through the bottom of the carriage as well. “Ow,” I muttered as I pulled myself back up and grabbed the cutter, turning it off and sticking it back in my belt. Vici at least had the good grace to look vaguely guilty.

At least the hatch was open now. Vici gave me a boost again, and - avoiding the cut edges - I pushed it open and clambered out onto the roof. Wind whipped around me as I climbed onto the silver roof, but it was nothing I hadn’t handled before. Rat and Vici were thieves, too. They could deal with wind.

I offered a hand to Rat, Vici giving her a boost at the same time. We both tried to help Vici up afterwards, but she’d only take Rat’s hand to climb through. I guess sticking around me for five minutes doesn’t make me trusted. Who knew. Rat didn’t seem bothered by the wind, but Vici stumbled a little once she managed to stand up.

I gestured down the train, to where one of the carriages was flatter-topped than the almost cylindrical car we were standing on now. Rat nodded, and led the way down the train, stopping to wave at a few scattered farmhouses that we passed. No one was standing out there, though.

Forcing ourselves through a sudden blast of wind, we reached the flat-topped carriage and sat down. We were passing through farmland (passing farmhouses? who would have guessed), with flat green land stretching to the horizons. District 9 wasn’t grain for nothing.

Rat and Vici started up their conversation again, Rat at least still waving to farmhouses as we passed. Not really wanting Valentina on again, I lay back and watched the sky pass overhead. Small clouds zipped past overhead, and I wondered how fast we were going. Probably faster than I’d gone in my life, if I was being honest. Maybe that one time I fell off a roof, but this still felt faster.

The three of us criminals sat there on the roof of the train. No one was watching us here, and no one could. For those few hours before arriving in the Capitol, we could just sit back and watch as the horizons changed.

Epilogue: OH SHIT A TUNNEL

#writeblr hunger games #hg: anechoi/val #ah lovely slightly illegal interactions #i hope i got rat and vici right #valentina's feeling a little ornery today #don't mind her #ratracechronicler #character: anechoi

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secureonlinedesktop · 3 years

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Spammer techniques: how do they exploit e-mail?

Estimated reading time: 9 minutes Spam seems to reach every single email account we use , no matter how careful we are or what the address provider is. How do spammers get all of our email addresses? Can we do something to hide our email address from common spammer techniques? Unfortunately, there's not much you can do to stop spammers from bombarding you with emails. There are some tips that will help protect you, but spammers will probably find your email address anyway . The problem is not so much the unwanted advertisement message, but rather what it means that you received a message. How did you react? Did you delete it? Did you click on any links? Have you flagged it as spam? Any action could bring useful information to attackers without you noticing. Let's face it more clearly and start with a question: where do spammers find our e-mails?

Spammer techniques for retrieving e-mail addresses

Nobody gives their email to a website and expects it to end up in the hands of a scammer. Yet it's not uncommon for someone to find their inbox full of unsolicited spam emails. Stolen databases The simplest of the techniques spammers use to collect large lists of active email addresses is through stolen account databases. These password thefts happen with frightening regularity. Companies like Adobe, LinkedIn, eHarmony, Gawker, Last.fm, Yahoo !, Snapchat and Sony have all been compromised in recent years . Leaked databases are normally considered a security threat because they often display account names and passwords. However, generally show email addresses as well. Spammers can download these leaked databases and add the millions of email addresses to their lists . Spammers know that most of these email addresses should be active , so these databases are excellent for them. This is probably how most spammers are finding email addresses to send spam. There really isn't much you can do to protect yourself from a spammer who gets your address this way. A site like Have I been pwned? can tell you if the information of your account may have been spread . You can protect yourself from password theft by using different ones, unfortunately, you must always use the same email address everywhere , it would be unthinkable to have an address for each service used. Link in mail messages If you receive spam emails, you should avoid clicking on the links in the email . If you find an "Unsubscribe" link in an email from a legitimate company, it's probably safe to click it. A real company doesn't want to spam and potentially run into anti-spam laws, so they will simply remove you from their list. However, if you see an "Unsubscribe" link (or, even worse, a "Buy Now!" link) in an email that looks very unprofessional and scam, the spammer will not necessarily remove you from his lists . This is where things get more complex. They will notice your click and their systems will identify your email address as active . They know you're there, and you may see larger amounts of spam after clicking the link. The same goes for uploading images in spam emails. Do not click the "Upload images" button, or spammers will know that you have opened the email . Even if you don't see an image in the message, there may be a small tracking pixel that allows the spammer to identify you if you upload the asset. This is why most email clients don't automatically upload images.

E-mail scraping, search for unencrypted e-mails on the net Another spammer technique to retrieve addresses from the network is to scrape them ( scraping ) from the unencrypted data on the network. There are software out there that read files on the net and find those that contain e-mails and save them. A bit like Google's crawlers do when they crawl a site, but with malicious intent. You may have seen a comment where someone leaves their address to be contacted. The bot that scans the network will save similar addresses. The spammer adds this address to his spam lists et voilà , spam is served . This is why eBay provides a temporary email address where you can be reached rather than including your real email address. This technique is probably less common now that spammers have huge leaked account databases to work with. Spammers can also try to acquire valid email addresses by browsing other places that are publicly available, such as whois records for a domain . These records show an email address associated with the person or organization that registered the domain name.

Purchase of email addresses Another spammer technique, definitely for lazy hackers, is to buy addresses from databases that provide them. Unscrupulous people sell email lists to spammers for a low price. These addresses were often distributed on CD in the past , and may still be, but the leaked account databases have probably eliminated some interest in this market. Spammers can also simply exchange their mailing lists with each other, making sure other bad guys get their hands on your address once it happens the first time. Please be aware that this technique is not entirely illegal. When we subscribe to a service, we often have the possibility to provide our e-mail address to third parties for advertising purposes. Some users accept without reflection and without verifying whether it is an obligation to subscribe to the service or not. . I personally happened to be contacted by a person who, with no intent to spam, but to make up the number, had bought my address from a contact resale agency, divided by areas of interest. If he had been a spammer, he could have used a similar service.

How to protect your address

Spammers can also obtain email addresses in other ways but the methods listed above are some of the most common. There isn't much you can do to prevent your email address from being leaked and receiving spam. - - you can avoid putting your e-mail address on the web in plain text form - - never click on a link - - don't upload a image in a suspicious email. However, your address will almost certainly end up in the hands of a spammer at some point. Actually, you don't have to worry so much about whether the address is in circulation, but about how the address is used, especially if it is active.

Spammer techniques of using addresses

Once a scammer obtains your email address, it is very likely that they will use it to take advantage in any way possible . The better he is, the greater the risks. Many will send you spam emails, with the hope of collecting private information such as credit card numbers . They will try to trick you into believing that you have won something, or that they have a profitable item for sale. Hackers may also use your email to steal your identity and send messages to your contacts . Remember the techniques of Zombie Phishing ? Other scammers will use your personal information to try to access your other accounts . Most people reuse the same passwords for different accounts, which means that hackers who have access to one account can easily infiltrate the others. This is why using the same passwords around the web is highly discouraged and not secure at all. Create botnets One of the reasons why you should never actively interact with spam messages is that interactions send hackers an important piece of information: the address is active, someone uses it on their device. An active address, once discovered, is a perfect target for more specific attacks than phishing , and since all addresses are at risk, even corporate ones, from phishing you can easily get to a double extortion ransomware . In the latter case, the threat of a DDoS attack may already come from mentioned zombie phishing technique, and it could all have started with some spam message. The computers that will basically send requests to the server to perform the DDoS attack could themselves be part of a botnet created as a result of techniques used by spammers .

Phenomenology of an attack As a first spammer technique, company addresses are retrieved . This can be done through scraping or database buying on the dark web. Next, to check which addresses are active , a couple of spam campaigns are sent. Nothing harmful, fake newsletters with an obvious Unsubscribe message, or a tracking pixel. Note: A tracking pixel is usually a very small transparent image that is uploaded from a remote server. Just check how many times it has been downloaded and by whom to understand which addresses are active and which are not . As a result, the contact database will have shrunk to a list of active addresses , in which users have been inattentive enough to click on a link from a suspicious email. Finally, to these selected addresses, is sent a real phishing message containing malware or a request to intervene on a seemingly legitimate web page . For example, the request to reset your credentials via the attached link. The unsuspecting user, thinking he is doing a safe thing, follows the link, enters the credentials and gives them to the spammer . At this point the attacker has gained access to an account. From that moment on, the risks are much more and much more damaging.

How to defend against spammer techniques

Let's take a few steps back. The whole chain of events that led the hacker to gain access to an important account went through spam and phishing messages. Ethical Phishing In some of the passages, the attack could have been avoided . The ability to recognize a suspicious message and then ignore it is the first weapon available to a user. SOD can help your business with this . Through a ethical phishing service, we first test the resilience of users . Once any weak points have been identified, a training course ad hoc is constructed to provide adequate proactive defense tools to all employees. SOC as a Service Not always being aware users is enough , and a careless mistake could cost a company a lot of sensitive data. For this reason, we can also implement a service SOCaaS for the mitigation of risk and damage following an attack. In this scenario, a system consisting of next generation SIEM and protocols UEBA implemented by an artificial intelligence, they monitor the network in search of any anomaly . Any suspicious behavior is identified and analyzed by technicians to see if it can actually become a threat or not. If you would like more information on how SOD can help you raise your company's cybersecurity level, don't hesitate to contact us. Read the full article

#Phishing #SOCaaS #Spam #ZombiePhishing

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474gs-eu263-blog · 4 years

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We're staying up, I am anyway. They're taking it in turns to stay awake with me and keep me up. The last time we spoke to Luca he said I can not fall asleep until after I see him under any circumstances. I agree with that. The last time i fell asleep I woke up blind, the time before I woke up outside though a locked door. Imagine what could happen the next time. Imagine if I woke up in a place I don't know and I was blind as well. It's terrifying. The thing that haunt me in the night are different to the things that haunt me in the day. In the day it's emotions from the things I've been through. It's a different terror, but it's the same intensity. Imagine if I fell asleep on the plane and woke up somewhere else, like outside the plane... I don't wanna think about me. Just stay awake.

I'm a big believer in God and most religions collectively, but part of me thinks this might not be a religious issue. What if this is like one of the things conspiracy theories talk about? What if something bad is happening to me in a different universe and there is random crossover which has effects in my universe. I still think that's really likely because I don't have a whole host of other explanations. He says even in thats the case the results will be effective.

He performs exorcisms on people. But he's assured me this isn't the same. Whatever he believes is haunting me, is not inside me, it's something from the outside that's attacking me. Which I do agree with. So it comes to me when I'm at my weakest, in my sleep when I can't defend myself. But he's going to follow the same blueprints as an exorcism. And in terms of removing memories of my past, he says that will follow the same procedure as an exorcism too, except he's not removing demons, he's removing memories but he'll still need the same set up because he's going to exorcise them out of me. Basically all I've heard is that I'm having an exorcism...

Can people really do that? Can Luca really do that? In two days take away my nightmares AND make me forget everything I want to forget from my past, permanently, and guarantee it never happens again. Aside from going back to 2017, and walking away as soon as I met the person, this is the next best thing. I would have saved myself so much pain if I went back in time, the pain ruined me bad, not just at the time it was happening, but also ruined me in relationships after that. It did cripple me and my relationships after got affected really bad from it. That's not why my last relationship ended, but both my last 2 exs can vouch for the fact that this relationship, the one in question, really did have the worst effects on me when trying to love and trust again, made it 100 times harder, and I've got so many emotional scars from what I've been through. He said two weeks after the procedure, the effects will be set in stone. There's nothing that could ever re trigger my memory. He said even if I saw the person again or spoke to them for hours I would still never remember who they are. "After two weeks, if the subject was in front of your face reminding you who they are, showing you photographic proof about your past together, you would not believe them and your memory can not be re triggered. I will not supress the memories, I will delete them permanently. On a computer if you deleted a file, and then if you deleted it from your recycle bin. You can never get that file back. It is impossible. This procedure is the same. And you need these files in your head deleted for the sake of your own emotional health because they have destroyed you inside." That's what he said to me, something along those lines. The tech savvy religious man from Italy who I don't even know, who I'm seeing tomorrow.

To think this could all be gone by Tuesday or Wednesday. Like none of it ever happened.

Luca normally charges people a lot of money for his services. Which originally put me off it sounded like a scam. But Leonie and her mom promised me it works, he really can do what he claims to, but he has to charge people so he can pay his bills. When Ellie talked to him about me he said he's not going to charge me anything because I'm a friend of Ellies which made me have more faith in him. He can't be a scammer if he's not asking me for money.

If this works, if he removes my nightmares AND my memories I'll give him all the money I've got left just as a thank you. But if he successfully removes my memories, I guess I'll never even know he did in the first place because I'll have no memories to recollect.

Two days, then I can put all of this to rest.

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filosofablogger · 4 years

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How, I ask you, did it get to be Monday so fast? And … do you realize that January is almost half over? That means the year is 1/24 over, or 4.1% … gone … poof! In another month, we will all be one full month older!

Anyway, it is Monday, so … it must be time to start your week with an all-new Jolly Monday! Today’s food theme, for no other reason than that Jolly and I deemed it to be so, is … blue. Take heart, though, we didn’t dye the coffee & tea blue! So, grab a blue snack and let Jolly and I put some smiles on those faces, ‘k?

And, two special treats … a blue sprinkled donut for Benjamin, and a promised Black Forest Gateau for David!

Chicken? Or spinach?

I’ve written a few times about Popeye’s Chicken restaurant … they seem to be in the news a lot these days! Well, the latest … have you ever seen that game show called “Family Feud”? I saw it once or twice way back in the day, probably the 1980s or so, and thought it was dumb just like all the game shows, so I never watched it again. But, they pair up two families, and each are asked trivia-type questions, the family that collectively scores the most points by getting the questions right, wins.

So, earlier this month, a woman named Eve Dubois and her family were competing against the Tomlin family, and the score was tied … it was the final question. Whoever answered this one correctly first would take home $10,000! The question was …

What is Popeye’s favourite food?

Now, of course the question meant Popeye the Sailor Man, who we all know eats spinach by the canful, but Ms. Dubois yelled out excitedly … CHICKEN! So sure of her answer, she began doing a victory dance … until her opponent correctly answered, Spinach!

youtube

So, ‘bye-bye’ Dubois family, no prize for you. Until … the video clip went viral on social media and came to the attention of somebody in the upper echelons of Popeye’s Chicken. I’m sure they figured it would be a great publicity stunt, and cost them relatively little, so they offered the Dubois family a little consolation prize …

Ummm … $10,000 worth of fried chicken? 🤢 A heart attack looking for a place to happen!

Technology run amok?

Just because you can isn’t always a good reason to do something. Now, I admit that most technology has a use, serves a purpose … I’m definitely not one of these people who wants to go back to the days of horse & buggy, no electricity, no indoor plumbing, etc. I’m even grateful for computers and cell phones, though I dislike the venues the technology has opened for scammers & hackers. But, I am not a fan of drones. Unmanned flying machines that can … and often do … kill unsuspecting, innocent people with a blink of an eye. But … are you ready to ride in an unmanned flying taxi?According to United Press International …

A flying taxi with no pilot made its first U.S. test flight in North Carolina with an audience of about 100 people, including several state officials.

Gov. Roy Cooper, state lawmakers and North Carolina Department of Transportation officials were among the more than 100 spectators at Tuesday’s demonstration of the EHang 216 autonomous aerial vehicle.

The two-seat drone is designed for use in cargo delivery and human transportation.

Seriously? They think people are gonna ride up in the air in something with no bloomin’ pilot? Not me! I don’t even like the idea of them flying over wherever I might be! You know, and I know that sooner or later, somebody will make a mistake and … kerthud. Sigh. Why can’t they just work on developing things like a cure for AIDS, or a way to help homeless people grow food in their refrigerator, or socks that never wear out, or light bulbs that never burn out, or headlights on cars that don’t blind the other drivers … something useful!

A sporting wedding …

Quick question … where did you get married? No, I don’t mean the town or city, but was it a church, Justice of the Peace, family home …? I got married by a Justice of the Peace … we were both on our lunch hour from our respective jobs, met at the courthouse, quick got married more or less in dual languages, then we each went back to work. All very romantic, don’t ya know. Neither of our sets of parents would agree to attend our wedding, mine because they didn’t approve of him, and his because they didn’t approve of him, either. Yes, seriously! More than a few times during our marriage his mom would say to me, “Honey, I don’t know how you put up with him.” So, anyway (I get easily sidetracked these days) …

Last week, Lonnie and Pam Harris of Kodak, Tennessee tied the knot … at Bass Pro Shops, a sporting goods store! Turns out that Pam works at the local Bass Pro Shops and wanted her co-workers to be able to attend her wedding. Says Lonnie …

“I asked her out on a date 37 years ago and she told me no. It took me 37 years to get her to say yes.”

The manager of the location said the store previously hosted a wedding about seven years ago. Well, I guess it’s no worse than a quick wedding at the courthouse on your lunch hour!

HELP! HELP! CAW!

The Palm Beach County Sheriff’s Office received a 911 call from a Lake Worth Beach resident who heard what sounded like a distressed woman calling for help from a neighbor’s house. When the deputies arrived, they found the owner of the house working on his wife’s car in the driveway while someone can be heard shouting, “Let me out! Let me out!”

The homeowner introduced the deputies to the origin of the cries — his pet parrot, Rambo, on an outside perch.

“I was changing the brakes on my wife’s car and had my 40-year-old parrot, Rambo, on his outside perch where he sings and talks. Sometime later four police officers showed up saying a neighbor called because she heard a woman screaming for help. I promptly introduced the officers to Rambo and we all had a good laugh.”

I found just a few funny signs a couple of weeks ago that I’ve been meaning to share …

Just a few fun cartoons & memes …

And that’s it … what? Oh! I forgot the cute animal video … how dare I? Wait just a sec …

youtube

Now, that’s a wrap, folks. Go forth and have a productive week and remember to share those million-dollar smiles I see on your faces this morning. People need them now maybe more than ever. Love ‘n hugs from Filosofa and Jolly!

Jolly Day After Sunday! How, I ask you, did it get to be Monday so fast? And ... do you realize that January is almost half over?

#cute animal video #flying taxi #funny signs #odd wedding venue #Popeye&039;s Chicken #talking parrot

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avengeultrons · 7 years

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Title: Cassie the Scammer (Daughter of Scott! Reader x Peter Parker)

Summary: The Reader and Peter are just about to sneak out for a date when Cassie barges in. She won’t tell; if you pay, that is.

Word Count: 1503

A/N: UghH This was so fun! I could just imagine Cassie being a lil shit lol. I HOPE YOU LIKE THIS!! I needed some happiness today, it’s the inauguration tomorrow ugh.

It was early on a Saturday morning when you heard a loud rapping sound at your window. The constant tapping made you jump out of the comfortable position you were reading a book in and immediately reach for some type of weapon, your hands finding your old baseball bat in the darkness of your closet. There could be a criminal out there, knowing your life.

Alas, when you tiptoed over to your window in an attempt to see out without lifting the curtain; you saw that it was simply Peter, your boyfriend. Not a villain ready to whisk you away to some evil lair, which wasn't as outlandish as one might think.

You laughed lightly and pulled back the curtains, looking behind you to see if anyone was watching before raising the window to let him in. They weren't; Saturday's were for sleeping in, in the Lang household.

You, being the earlybird, had been up by yourself for quite a while,“What're you doing here?” you shook your head at him as he clambered in, a wide smile on his face. You dropped your bat next to the window and raised a questioning eyebrow while he smiled.

“Whatya mean? Can't I just visit my girlfriend?” Peter laughed loudly while you shushed him, your cheeks lighting up with a blush. Had he ever actually called you his girlfriend out loud before?

“The sun’s hardly even up,” you concluded, nodding to the sky outside your window painted a pastel orange and pink shade from the sunrise. He rolled his eyes and brushed a hand across your shoulder as he walked by, collapsing onto the edge of your bed, “Did you get any sleep?”

“An hour?” he shrugged, raising an eyebrow at your worry stricken face, “I had a cup of coffee. I'm fine, Y/N.”

“A cup of coffee doesn't make up for the seven hours of sleep you missed,” you chided, sitting next to him. You twisted your body until you were upside down, hanging off the side of your bed like a bat.

“Oh, but you know what will?” he lay back until he was upside down too, the beanie that was previously covering his ears falling off of his head and onto the floor.

“Hm?” you quizzed him, a tantalizing smile on your face. You giggled lightly; all the blood was suddenly rushing to your head and everything looked funny upside down.

Peter laughed, too, “If we go out to breakfast together. Down at the diner?”

You pulled yourself back to an upright position and tapped a finger to your chin as if you were thinking hard about it. Obviously, the answer would be yes. Two of your favorites- Peter and breakfast food- at once?

“Is that a yes?” he smiled apprehensively at you and pulled himself up to a sitting position while you scooped his hat up from the floor to place on your own head.

“I guess that could be fun,” you laughed lightly and gave a smirk, tossing your book onto the nest of pillows behind you, “Plus; I'm dying for a coffee. Dad still thinks it’ll stunt my growth,” you chattered on as you threw on a jacket and sneakers, Peter watching with a smile that was full of adoration for you. He couldn't stop staring at you, really.

“Ready?” you quizzed him, gesturing to the window in your bedroom that led to the fire escape which you and Peter had both frequented before.

“Wait, we’re sneaking out?” Adrenaline was already pumping through his veins as he said it; of course you were.

With a somewhat dramatic sigh, he joined you at the window now blowing a cold wind into your room, causing the curtains to twirl around. You smiled gleefully and pressed a kiss to his lips before he climbed out and offered you a hand, “That's half the fun, P.” Well; it’s not like you’d ever snuck out before. It always looked like fun in the movies.

“Y/N, wake up! It's Lang family day!” Cassie’s high pitched, ‘way too loud for the morning’ voice rang through your ears while you and Peter glanced at each other in fear.

“What are you doing?” She cocked her head to the side, watching the two of you. Both you and Peter were frozen in awkward positions, you had one leg completely out the window and were holding Peter’s hand tightly.

“Cassie…” you raised a hand in an attempt to quiet her. Cassie smiled, batting her eyelashes as she pushed her tangled hair out of her face.

She opened her mouth and yelled one word, “Daddy!” It was a magic word. it melted hearts, especially the heart of Scott Lang.

“Don't! Don't tell dad, please,” you begged, shushing her. Peter’s cheeks were bright red and his eyes were wide with panic as he looked between you and your younger sister.

Cassie blinked up at you, an innocent look on her face, “I don't do things just because, sis,” she smiled sweetly at you, a smile that was sickly sweet and full of little sister evilness.

“What do you want? Money?” you sighed, looking over at the multi colored piggy bank sitting on your desk, “Just take whatever,” There really wasn't much in there; just enough for Cassie to maybe buy some candy.

She smirked and took the piggy bank, patting its head as if it were one of her stuffed animals, “Enjoy your date! Remember; Daddy’s taking us bowling at noon,” she blew a kiss at the two of you and skipped out of the room, leaving you and Peter dumbfounded.

“You won't say a word, right?” You called after her from the fire escape. She smiled from the hallway, waving her fingers at you. You didn't trust that smile for one second, but you went anyway. Your first mistake.

You laughed along with Cassie as your dad typed your names into the computer for your game of bowling. Cassie had blown all of your money on the claw machine and won only one little monkey with weird, matted pink hair.

She smiled over at you as she picked up her ball to bowl; a hot pink one that somehow matched the princess dress she had picked out.

“Alright, it's ready. You're up, Cass,” Scott collapsed into the hair next to you and took a slice of greasy pizza from the pan on the table.

She gave a thumbs up and stepped up to bowl, tossing the bowling ball down the lane. Literally tossing it; it made a loud thud that you were sure everyone would look to see what made the noise, “Nice!” your father laughed while clapping his hands, Cassie turning with a pout on her lips.

“I didn't hit any,” she said with a groan, slumping down in the seat opposite of you.

“That's okay, you have another turn!” you smiled warmly, sipping on your soft drink.

Cassie smiled her sickly sweet, innocent child smile and jumped back up to get her ball, “Oh, by the way,” Oh no. You knew exactly what she was about to say, “Y/N was sneaking out with Peter Parker on a date earlier!”

You and your dad both reacted the same; choking on the sodas you were drinking and staring with wide eyes at Cassie while she danced back over to bowl.

“Sorry but...WHAT? Did I hear that right?” his voice was scarily calm, you'd rather him yell at you, “Is that where that hat is from?”

You gulped and nodded slightly; removing Peter’s beanie that you forgot you had on in one swift motion.

“I...don't know what to say? Peter Parker, the Spider-Man?” he laughed in disbelief while you looked around nervously. Scott seemingly nodded in agreement while you shushed him, “The Spider-Man?” he whispered it this time.

“Are you-you're not mad, are you?” you chewed on your bottom lip nervously. Your dad and his opinion was the most important to you and if he didn't approve; you would know what you'd do. How would it work out if he didn't approve?

“I mean, not really. A little confused as to why I found out from Cassie?” Scott shrugged, sipping loudly on his soda, “The topic of boys is not one that I’m very comfortable with,” he laughed nervously.

“I even paid her to not tell you,” you sighed dramatically and grabbed your bowling ball, ready to take your turn, “You're quite the scammer, aren't you, Cass?”

Cassie shrugged and dropped her stuffed monkey into her lap, smiling sweetly up at your father, “Wow, I've never been more proud to be the father of you two,” Scott said dramatically, pretending to wipe a tear from his eye, “He really is a good kid, Y/N,” he added while you stepped up to the lane.

Those words made a weight lift off of your shoulders.With a triumphant smile; you took your turn. You got a strike, a true miracle. Things really were working out for you.

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buyusername-com · 5 years

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How I got my one word Instagram username

hey guys welcome back to the channel today I'm going to be talking about how I got my a g1 word Instagram username so let's get right into the video [Music] so I own instagram.com / breathe yes Oh G one word username and in this video I'm gonna explain kind of how I have secured that Instagram username it's really really simple I've been doing I've been doing like securing like one word usernames for about three or four years now pretty much there is a form there's forums all over the internet and people call it like the black market or whatever but it's just it's just forums that these og usernames actually built like og users have actually built and it's funny because like the forum that I use is called og users it's like a it's a whole nother world that you'll get into that you'll understand like oh my god I didn't realize like Instagram was doing this type of thing and there's a market for it pretty much in the one word username market it's just a bunch of people like buying selling and trading their Instagram accounts for profit yes you can make some serious serious money the most I've ever been offered for an Instagram account is around fifteen thousand dollars and I I dished out that offer because of personal reasons or whatever but for one word Instagram username specifically the most I've ever made and a day was about three grand that was because I was able to get the money via like Bitcoin and that's that's a big thing with the with like the whole community of og users and like just one word Instagram names in general but yeah pretty much how I got breathe like just Instagram back home slash breathe is I went on the forum maybe two and a half years ago I met up I met this guy on there I seemed legit he had a bunch of like vouches is what they call him like people like vouch for you if they did a good deal whatever but let's back it up a little bit my first Instagram account was coffin-like COF FIM that's like my first og username I try to turn that into like a personal page and then like a mean page and then I just got tired of the username so I sold it that was the one I sold for well I sewed it for about a thousand USD but it was the time when Bitcoin was like booming so I I got it in Bitcoin and then it shot up to around three thousand nine and i i i got you know i pulled out and got a USD for just uh that just kept on making me when they get like cooler in surrey arm usernames and yeah that was like my first one and then I had an Instagram account called coast that was my first ever scam like I am Scammon Bay scam me um so pretty much what happened was I bought it for I bought it for like four hundred dollars everything went smooth I did everything that I thought was necessary and that everybody was telling me to do on these community forums and then two days later I get on Instagram and I see a fucking post on my feed that like I clearly didn't post from that account Coast I was like what the fuck so I like logged in on coast and just said you've been logged out and has a fuckin og user if you're watching my this that's like the that like hits your fucking off your heart goes through your ass for real like you feel like I don't know you just feel like like you just fuckin lost your soul I've had a couple scares every now and again but yeah that's like that's just energy user lifestyle type of thing yeah I learned my lesson and then I figured out a way to properly secure these Instagram accounts and I wrote up like a three or four page PDF that you guys can actually download in the description that way if you are wanting to get into this stuff that way you know understand the way to secure these Instagram accounts I've even brought it to like the next next level which I have a physical key now that's all my Chane to login to my Instagram accounts and I have a key for that key but that key is 2,000 miles away so I took super super precaution when I got breathe yes because it's so OG it's so nice and I mean seriously guys breathe one out of a billion people I'm the only person that owns breathe yeah you can say that per your username but is it a one-word username the reason why this is a market and why it's such a thing is because it's just so recognizable it's like um yo you won't fuckin breathe like how'd you get that how'd you get that username like try it out yourself go on Instagram type in actually type in any word that you could ever think of and they exist existence of humanity and I guarantee you is taken I guarantee you all the words plus a underscore plus a number as taken and yeah that's how rare it is to have a one word username the way I got breathe is like I got it on a forum I paid and I paid I think I paid $300 for the username this was zero followers but I also have the Instagram account in the Twitter so it was like a package deal and then yeah I paid $300 for it and then my mind was always I'm always trying to branch it and like make it into something I can't like just have a one rib username just habit showing like that's just not me do I branded it into adventure like adventure of photography just like this because everything around me is like adventure gear and everything I just wanted a forum I was scrolling through the forum and then people were just listening out the usernames that they were selling and I found this guy I forget his fucking name but anyways he he had it and then he had a lot of bouches like I said and it's just people backing him up saying he's a legit seller and I was like okay cool so pretty much we got on kik this is what a lot of these people communicate with obvious that own these usernames only communicate through there and so we're communicating and this time we had a middleman and pretty much what a middleman is if you don't know it's like somebody that's gonna help secure the deal just it's almost like a fucking drug deal but online this is how crazy it can get my second one where I got scammed I didn't use a middleman and then that was like my lesson learned or whatever I always use a middleman if you do it make sure you use a middleman somebody that's can you can be trusted with and if you're watching this if you need to move them in I can be your minimun but you gotta watch out some middleman's take like a percentage or like a flat like flat rate fee to do the deal so pretty much what a mailman is so this is an old man this is this is a count buyer and this is me what happens is that count the count seller gives the credentials to the middleman and then I give the money to the middleman and then the middleman gives me the credentials account while he's holding on to the money I secure the count which is everything that I am that I written about in the PDF for you to download for free after I do that it takes about for me it takes about a good like three minutes to do absolutely everything after that the middleman hands over the money to the account seller and the deal is secured and like I said I take extra extra precautions and I actually have a physical key and not a lot of people even though oh gee users don't even understand that like what the fuck you got a key to it's not like a fucking key it's like a USB but it's a thumbprint and facial recognition on your computer if you want to know about that or where I got it send me a DM and then I'll send you send you what I know about it or how you can get it that's like military-grade encryption that's like a little crazy because you can have two factor authentication on your account now but yeah in this video I'm not going to talk about a lot about how I secured it like how I secure secure that account but more about like in general how I got it but yeah that's pretty much it it's just a forum there's tons of forums the best one I know is oh gee users they're good they're reliable they got reliable people but they also got scammers on there so watch out for them I just do research don't go in there like the first day find that account you're like oh my god I like this I like this username wait and just you know do your research like for like a week see like just read about the people that you're gonna buy from because a lot of these people want to do either the payment through Bitcoin which there's no chargebacks so as soon as you send that money to through bitcoins that person you better hope that you get the account that you want and you better hope that they don't take it back and like I said in that PDF it tells you how to 100% secure it and the main thing is securing the Instagram email the email is the most important part you can have the Instagram account and everything like that but if I have your email I got everything like the email is more important than the og email the original email is more important to me than that account because I can have I could get I can get right back into the Instagram account with the email easy so make sure you hide a percent scare the email also the account as well but yeah that's pretty much how I got my Instagram account just there forum we chatted on kik everything went completely smooth I actually got the Instagram account first yeah it was like three packages dude online I went to go get the Instagram secret the Instagram and then he was selling the kik breathe kick I believe - I didn't get that I didn't care about that because I didn't really like fuck with that shit I just downloaded it only win I want it to buy an Instagram account I'm am I gonna I don't know and then I got the Twitter maybe like three months after but totally secured him both and it's it's just a cool thing to have like you know I own a 1-up a billion user name account it's very very rare think of it as like digital or real estate that's how I think about it a lot of these people that own these one-word usernames are not thinking of it that first of all they're they're younger kids I'm not bashing on any of these people they're really cool it's just the younger kids they're like 13 up to my age like I'm 25 so but majority of them are really really young they have a ton of these Instagram user names and they're it's just a side hustle but I dunno I know one person that is like doing this and he's making like ten thousand dollars a month it's more than a side hustle type of thing yeah it's really cool it's just a it's like a side hustle niche though yeah oh yeah I asked you guys some questions yeah but tell me a video on how I got my one word username literally nobody asked questions so maybe next time next week hey guys what's up I just got back from the gym and I actually got a question from the polls that I told you guys about literally right after I left like for example I put this up I'll put that up every Wednesday and yeah I'll just be like any questions you want me to answer about the topic so next week's topic will be about like how to grow an each page or whatever from G's AK testa I said can I finesse a name that's unlisted and what I'm thinking that you mean zach is like if you search up a username and you'll go on the page and it says user can't be found or something like that so the answer is 50-50 yes and no may be more likely no because unless you have a Facebook or Instagram contact it's it's very very hard there's two reasons why that is where like you'll search a user name I can't think of the one I can't think of one the top of my head but if you search a username and it doesn't come up with anything there's two reasons one because Instagram has marked it as spam and they have it they don't they're not using it it's not active but like a previous user has used it and used it and did a bunch of spam on it like you know sending a ton of dm's or they're aware of like these people that like buy sell Instagram so they might snatch it away from you and then the most logical reason is the person has it but it is deactivated can't do this through the app you have to actually go on the web page on like your laptop go and log in an Instagram and then you'll be able to see a thing it says deactivate and it'll say like deactivate for 24 hours or or it'll ask you why and the new black I'll be back blah blah blah it will take off you're like you'll you'll still have your username but it'll just say can't be found on Instagram and that's pretty much the two reasons by much all for this week's video comment below actually what your favorite Instagram username or like what Instagram username that you wish you could have that said I will see you guys in the next week's video where I teach you guys how to create a niche account so with that I will see you guys in the next video peace

https://youtu.be/4NtxUPiF_Qc

#How I got my one word Instagram username #buy #username #get it #instagram

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