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ophelliate · 2 years

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Victory for the Comic Muse Takes Because I Can't Torture My Friend Any Longer

So for the past week I've been listen to The Divine Comedy albums (skipping Liberation and Promenade) since I entered a whole of analysis about Casanova that was a trainwreck (for me at least), and in the meantime I wrote down/sent what I thought of the songs to a friend of mine, @honeylavendermilktea

But at this point I've just been sending paragraphs after paragraphs of thoughts about the work of some Irish guy so I thought might of well post on here since the Neil Hannon tag is deprived of anything other than Doctor Who

Victory for the Comic Muse will be short since I've actually listened to this album for months unlike others, Victory is actually my favorite album so far when I think of the albums by personal enthusiasm instead of anything critical, but I'm hoping that writing this down will help me put some perspective on the songs

songs/thoughts under the cut

1.) To Die a Virgin

Divine Comedy's horny songs are just really funny to me I can't understand anything otherwise tbh. I actually really enjoy this song since the tone manages to actually fit the lyrics. You can somehow feel how pathetic this horny little soldier really is all while still being a relative banger. I don't really understand how this was considered an iffy single according to the documentary... then again now saying that, this was like 2006 people were calling Happy Feet leftist propaganda.

2.) Mother Dear

While I don't listen to this on the regular, I love this song all the same for the lyrics alone. I find it incredibly sweet that the song is just about a guy realizing that his mom was great and that she deserved much more respect than he gave her in the past. I can't say it's relatable (probably since I'm still a teen), but it has an earnest energy that gives such a lovable feeling despite any personal connection. Similar to what I said in the beginning, lyrics are cheeky and pleasant as usual, though a bit too much banjo for me.

3.) Diva Lady

I don't think there's any actual reason I like this song. I just think it sounds nice. It's about a girl, who's a diva, and has a quirky nose. Seriously, I don't actually know why the nose is so prominent in this song. Who knows, maybe there's more to this song than I can read into, but the most I get is that this song is kinda like A Woman of the World, just without the dramatic jazz (which should be a negative but again, I think it sounds nice). I am very amused that she dated a guy to make him "look hetero" tho.

4.) A Lady of a Certain Age

My god, what can I not say about this song? From the gentle guitar and strings to the beautiful, distinctive storytelling, this song is a surprising classic by every angle. Hannon's lyricism is at its peak here with the details the song is able to tell and the fact that it hold the power of making me feel horrible for a rich person. I listen to the song to feel a very refined sort of depression, because I mean she chased the sun around the cote d'azu–

5.) The Light of the Day

I'm not sure how this is supposed to make me recover from the last song, but okay. Since I don't listen to this song often I'm reading the lyrics right now and well I guess that's an F in the chat. Honestly this is just a nice song to hear in a concert or something and you just turn your flashlight on in the crowd to wave it slowly at the beat. That's the entire vibe I get from this song.

6.) Threesome

This is very short so my thoughts will be very short: I think this is very cute, and I think the pun is mainly the reason it's cute. I thought it'd be a horny song at first but no it's just a three-part piano piece, and I love that for it.

7.) Party Fears Two

This song started to grow on my like just two days ago. The main melody is just very fun and gets stuck in my head a lot. The beat oddly enough reminds me of horses which now makes me need to search up the lyrics to confirm something– oh wait this is a cover give me a second... ah this song just got Divine Comedy'd. One thing I can say thought is that both versions are not in either singer's vocal range, though at least with Hannon, it's mainly just the slide that sounds rough.

8.) Arthur C. Clarke's Mysterious World

Is there actually a TV show called that– oh there was, and yet again this guy was a novelist so this is going on the list of oddly placed literature/pop culture references. Anyways the song seems to just be about a guy not understanding but still loving his wife. Not too keen on this one with the lyric execution.

9.) The Plough

Yes, yes, YES– I don't think people talk about this song enough. It's literally so sexy (not-horny). The dramatic strings; that damn crescendo that increases with every chorus, it's all SEXY. Deadass, I listened to this song without even looking at the lyrics for months because I got carried away by the music alone for so long. That may be a negative in this case though, since I looked up the lyrics for once last week and holy shit. The story told in this song was so #epic that I audibly gasped by the end. Respect this damn song because I love it.

10.) Count Grassi's Passage Over Piedmont

Ngl I thought this was boring every time I listened to it, so I was surprised to see so much love for it in certain websites. The only time I was entertained by talking with music accompaniment and some singing as a song™ was Atlantis by Donovan. This apparently is just another one of "Neil Hannon is a weirdo™ (and a bookworm)" songs to the point that there's like dozen's of references that go over my head, but at least I should have them go over my head while enjoying the song.

11.) Snowball in Negative

I also love this song. I think it's simply because it's able to make such a vivid sound. The serene echo of the voice, the tickle of the plucked strings, the rounded, circling aura of the chorus, all until we reach the singular piano, where you can truly hear the pure sound of snow in that enchanting melody. Once that piano forms into that beautiful orchestral sound, I just feel giddy, like I'm watching some sort of snow spirit dancing with another 'til they wither by the wind. It's definitely an experience I enjoy hearing again and again.

So... yeah, majority are pretty much bangers

I think this album is where Divine Comedy was truly able to define itself again after... whatever the hell happened with Regeneration. And while Absent Friends is considered the recovery from that album, I'd say Absent Friends doesn't really hit the highs that this one reaches wonderfully. I'd still say this one is my favorite by personal bias, even if on a technical level Casanova is probably the best.

I'm excited to listen to Bang Goes the Knighthood, as it seems to be a favorite for Tumblr (likely correlating to the Doctor Who thing one way or another), and actually I'll likely be listening to it tomorrow blindly so it'll be a tad bit different compared to these more organized thoughts.

But anywho, these are the current album rankings from worst (affectionate) to best (more affectionate) (and note I listened to Absent Friends literally just yesterday so the placement is subject to change):

6.) Regeneration (2001)

5.) A Short Album About Love (1997)

4.) Absent Friends (2004)

3.) Fin de Siecle (1998)

2.) Casanova (1996)

1.) Victory for the Comic Muse (2006)

If any of you want me to post my thoughts of the other albums on here, lmk

#neil hannon #the divine comedy #music #will i get attacked for the doctor who jokes? we'll see #i never watched dw and neither did the guy who made your favorite songs from the show #gizl reviews

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arcenciel-par-une-larme · 4 years

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How to be given the moral high ground on a silver platter, and still manage to flush it down the drain

I'll be the first to acknowledge that RHP is a VERY tone-deaf individual at times, and in the process of defending orthodox theology he often becomes very abrasive. Counterproductively so, I would say.

Additionally, I have criticised him on at least one occasion for inaccurately and indiscriminately using the word homosexual, making it almost a slur in the context, and although he did acknowledge his error at first, nevertheless he did not seem to heed my promise for too long. In his most recent answer posted from @anti-christophobia, he seems to have reverted to this insensitive usage of the word.

(I have other problems with his positions as well, but these are another story.)

So, with his recent post, there came also the predictable backlash from some anti-Christian leftists. Surely, I said, they must be pointing out his insensitive behaviour! Surely, I said, they must have some form of rational and just criticism to offer this time!

...if only.

It seems a regular pattern that, whenever I am disappointed with (or even outraged at) the behaviour of a fellow Conservative/Christian, the SJWs will ALWAYS be there and they will STILL do their best to act as sh**ty as possible.

First, let us see how the #RightSideOfHistory put us irrational, benighted Christian Neanderthals in our place with their inimitable Reason and Logic:

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, thanks to the internet, everyone and their cat is now a biblical scholar.

But by golly, how could anyone stay unconvinced by this IMPECCABLE display of Reason and Logic? I struggle to even imagine how one could EVER insist that the convincing power of a couple dozen sources is even REMOTELY comparable in power to Chemical Swirls' SLAM-DUNK argument, which is an appeal to someone somewhere! In other words, hearsay!

And, as always, ain't it ever such sweet hypocrisy that, by some strange law of the universe, it is everybody else on the planet, EXCEPT orthodox Christians, that get to decide what orthodox Christianity really is and who the real Christians are.

So, we've got the Intellectual Superiority on full display at hand. First phase of the recipe is complete. What is missing now but an additional display of Moral Superiority! And who should come first to display the infinitely superior morality of the #RightSideOfHistory but the ever-appropriately named "pro choice is pro compassion"! Here's your ""compassion"", then:

Don't you just feel the compassion flowing like a river from the above response?

But wait! There's more!

Without ever denying, or hesitating to condemn, the hatred, bigotry and violence which exists against other religious groups, I nevertheless have to point out once more that it is only Christians who do not get to enjoy the ""luxury"" of having (oh for the tragic irony) such compassion extended to them, namely for people to recognise (without turning the discussion into some Oppression Olympics thing) that there ARE individuals (and sometimes also structures) out there who foster deep hatred for our religion, and sometimes that has VERY deep repercussions for us.

On the contrary, what treatment do we receive again in this case? The same one to which we've been treated on too many occasions to count. The Tolerant(TM) and Compassionate(TM) paragons of social """justice""" are here to remind us once more that the very concept of Christophobia is "pathetic", and essentially that the worst kind of inconvenience that a Christian will ever come to face due to his religion is mere hurt feelings.

Since it seems, then, that we have learnt absolutely NOTHING over the years, let me repeat myself yet again:

This blog, and much more so @anti-christophobia, have, over the years, recorded numerous occasions of injustices and mistreatment faced by Christians, ranging from slander and fake news to unjust academic punishment, to stripping of constitutional rights, to harassment and death threats, even to outright persecution (Middle East, Communist countries) and terrorism (Sunderland Springs). Nevertheless, in spite of all this, according to people like these Paragons of Love and Tolerance, irrational hatred/fear of Christians doesn't exist, our expecting even the same elementary courtesy and justice which is normally extended with grace to every other religious group means we want everything to "cater to our religion”, we’re supposed to sit down and suck it all up, if not even say thanks for being hated, and if we DARE to speak up that means we have a “persecution complex”.

So thank you ever so sincerely, dear SJWs, for showing to the world what hypocrites you are, how vacuous your speak of "Love" and "Reason" and "Compassion" is, and for giving me reason upon reason to NEVER join your hateful, miserable ranks.

You are a shame unto every virtue you claim to fight for.

#christophobia #tolerant left #atheisjws #muh persecution complex #liberal lies #slander #intellectual dishonesty #biblical illiteracy #oppression olympics #leftist hypocrisy #abuser logic #appeal to worse problems

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mikhalsarah · 3 years

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RIP Open Orthodoxy, eaten alive by parasitic “Wokeness”...

There are already three streams of Judaism where women can be rabbis (Conservative/Masorti, Reform, and Reconstructionist), I should know, I belong to one of them. I’ve never entirely understood the Orthodox commitment to sidelining women in this day and age, but the simple fact is, people who are unhappy with Orthodox halakhah in this area have other places to pray, and the stubborn refusal to pray in any of “those places”, yet fighting tooth and nail to make their own shuls become just like them, smack of a weird sort of snobbish attachment to the word “orthodoxy”....even though the rest of Orthodox is but a hair’s breadth from considering them a treif liberal “fake” Judaism like the rest of us already.

As difficult, but possible, as the issue of female rabbis would be to bring about, (seeing as it is a rabbinic prohibition based largely on cultural attitudes no longer in play in western society), the issue of getting the Orthodox to accept gay couples is another matter. Again, not an insurmountable issue, Centrist Orthodox Rabbi Schmuley Boteach has written quite openly about the need to find a place in Orthodox shuls for gay and lesbian Jews. However Orthodox culture is never going to let them hold hands during service or kiddush, for the simple reason that public displays of sexual/romantic affection, even between heterosexual married couples, are frowned upon everywhere from the sanctuary to the grocery store, due to the strong feeling that sexuality should be put aside, or sublimated, when encountering certain kinds of holiness (engaging in prayer etc). Of course, that does not mean that in Judaism sex is the opposite of holiness in some way, or else it would be forbidden to have sex on Shabbat. Since marital sex is a mitzvah (commandment, meritorious act) on Shabbat, better to understand it as a different kind of holiness, one that is not compatible with some other mitzvot (like prayer) or with public life in general. Sexuality itself is a sort of holiness surrounded by taboos and necessitating the utmost privacy in Judaism, so this is ironically probably the hill Orthodoxy would die on, not figuring out how to tolerate the gays.

I heartily agree that it’s time to stop being racist to the Palestinians. Strange though that a “Woke” rabbi still can’t bring himself to call them what they call themselves, and in typical Israeli/Zionist fashion emphasizes their Arab otheness, rather than their indigenousness...thus making it seem rather like a favour being granted to them out of the goodness of his Woke heart, rather than an acknowledgement of their intrinsic belongingness. (This kind of stuff is typical for Woke social justice, which consistently cares far more about virtue-signalling and screaming at “white people”, or whomever else is deemed an Oppressor in the situation, than listening and paying attention to those who are actually oppressed.)

I spent decades of my life as a vegetarian, years of that as a vegan. Even though for medical reasons I had to adopt a diet which relies on meat for sufficient protein, I still try to limit my meat consumption. I am very pleased that so many people are seeing the value of vegetarian and vegan diets, and that even regular omnivore folk are adopting “meatless Mondays” and so forth. I’d be even better pleased with governments helping to encourage it by working to make it less expensive if/where possible. I’d nod my head approvingly if rabbis suggested meat-eating be reserved for Shabbat, if one didn’t feel able to give it up entirely. However, even when I didn’t practice (Judaism) and was secular it would never have occurred to me to ban it wholesale. I’m just not Puritan enough for banning things, I prefer the Quakerly ways of “convincement”. The Woke, on the other hand, are full-bore Puritan, convert-the-heathen-masses.

This is perhaps the strangest part of entire essay. This newly minted “rabbi” is publicly expressing the desire to not just overhaul a big chunk of halakhah in order to make Judaism less restrictive and bring it further into line with the mores of the gentile world... a process that has been going on forever, whether excessively quickly (Reform) or excruciatingly slowly (Haredi)... but is calling to make Judaism more restrictive in other ways, by banning things permitted by halakhah which happens never or so infrequently that I can’t recall an instance offhand. And he’s willing to use secular governments to achieve it by force.

I recall hearing conservatives decades ago saying “Inside the heart of every liberal is a fascist screaming to get out” and laughing derisively at how they could think that. I laugh no more, though I contend that it is a particular species of illiberal liberal, known as the progressive activist, that is to blame rather than liberals in general. Still...there it is, and the regular liberals are generally no help opposing their own extremists because deep down they harbour that intrinsic liberal guilt that they are never doing enough or being enough to be truly authentic and useful. For authenticity and “real change” they look ever to the fringes, on the assumption that the more wildly opposed to society in general an ideology is, the better it is, if only they weren’t too cowardly and comfortable to join up and suffer like the “real” activists.

I have to add here, how nice it is despite not having set foot in any shul in over a year, to still have something of the religious Jewish mindset, which makes impressive demands on your time, money, and moral fastidiousness, but at the same time reminds you constantly that you’ll never be perfect and will never accomplish everything you want or that God asks of you and God already accepts that as a given. “It is not yours to complete the task (of repairing the world), but neither are you free to desist from it.” -Pirkei Avot 2:21. Despite the reputation Judaism has for being guilt-inducing, at least we are free from the overwhelming and psychologically destructive levels of guilt induced by secular liberalism, which now has decided, via Wokeness, that merely existing in a society that is imperfect is a damnable offense, even if it is, on balance, one of the least imperfect societies around. This is how Jews like me know that Wokeness is not just a new religion, it’s an offshoot of Christianity, where just being born damns you to a state of perpetual sin.

This authenticity-of-the-extremists mindset blinds them to the fact that while the fringes are the birthplace of some excellent critiques and paradigm-changing ideas that have been of great benefit, those benefits most often only come when those ideas are tempered by counter-critiques and more pragmatic people who can tolerate the loss of ideological purity required to make them work in practice. Also invisible to the liberal mind are those historical moments when progressives have backed ideas that were...well, the term “clusterfucks” springs to mind.

Progressives less than a century ago were enamoured with ideas ranging from Eugenics to Italian Fascism (less so with Naziism, but even that had its adherents until the war and the atrocities of the camps coming home to roost). They backed Communism to such a degree that it took Kronstadt to shake most of them loose, and they still idolize Che Guevara, the gay-hating, probably racist, illiberal who put people to death without trial and “really liked killing” (his words) and can’t hear a word against Communist China (”That’s racist to the Chinese!”) or Islamic extremists (”That’s Islamophobic!), despite the fact that Communist China is “re-indoctrinating” the Muslim Uighers and using them as slave labour (in part for the profits and in part because keeping the men and women separated prevents them breeding more Muslim Uighers), and despite the fact that the Islamists throw gay men off roofs in public executions. When you do get a left-liberal to admit something on the Left has gone wrong at all, they immediately shift to rationalizing it as somehow really being the fault of conservatives all along...even in a case like Eugenics where religious and other conservatives were fighting it tooth and nail.

(NB: This is not an endorsement of conservatives, who have their own sets of problems but who, when they finally do change their mind on an issue, don’t try to rationalize their former wrongheadedness by claiming it was really the fault of left-liberals that they ever believed such things in the first place)

And that brings us back to Zionism and the Woke. The Woke cannot for the life of them admit that it was secular, and often quite far left, Jews that birthed Zionism directly out of the leftist “liberation” traditions of the day (albeit with a healthy side of pro-Western colonialism-admiring fervour for being “an outpost of the West” shining the light of rationality on the barbaric, backward, religiosity of the Middle East). They don’t want to see it. It disturbs their comfortably simple narrative, which prefers to maintain that it was the “whiteness” of the original Zionist Jews and their early followers that was the problem, not their politics.

But Zionism is merely the predictable result of what happens when you take an oppressed people and tell them that their oppression entitles them to do whatever they need to in order to end their oppression and that violence is not violence when perpetrated by the oppressed. That the world owes them, and their descendants, something in perpetuity for having oppressed them, some sort of special treatment, and that it must never withdraw that special dispensation because that itself would be oppressing them again. The fact that what the Jews would feel like they needed to do was ethnically-cleanse their former homeland of people who had once shared it with them (both Jews and Palestinians can be traced to a shared ancestry in the region going back about 50,000 years) and necessitating a whole new liberation movement to free them was an unintended consequence of th\e liberation movement, but a consequence nonetheless.

The Woke cannot admit that Zionism is, in large part, a direct consequence of the leftist liberation project, and Woke Jews (who are almost invariably “white”) can’t admit that the rest of the Woke movement hates them. They truly deserve each other.

Ah, well, at least this “woke” rabbi isn’t trying to qualify for the cognitive dissonance finals by being Woke and a Zionist at the same time like the current rabbi of my (rapidly sinking) former synagogue. We’ve had rabbis that horrified the congregation by being too right-wing (mostly on halakhic issues rather than politics), and we’ve had rabbis that horrified (the older portion of) the congregation by being too left-wing and running off to march in Selma. Thanks to this rabbi haranguing the congregation daily about LGBTQ issues to the point that even the LGBTQ Jews got tired of hearing him (our sexuality is NOT our whole fucking existence...no pun intended) and marching around the Sanctuary with the Israeli flag on Shabbat (an honour reserved for the Torah even by the most fervently Zionist among us, none of whom are yours truly) we now have the dubious distinction of being a congregation horrified by a rabbi being both too left-wing and too right-wing simultaneously.

Apropos of nothing, there is now a “For Sale” sign on the front lawn of my former synagogue and the membership at the Orthodox synagogue has grown with astonishing rapidity. We can extrapolate from this that in 4 years time, should the U.S. Republicans run any candidate remotely sane, they will sweep the election.

#judaism #woke #wokeism #zionism #sjw nonsense #sjws ruin everything #open orthodoxy #militant vegans #woke is a religion #puritan #vs #quaker

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hanzi83 · 5 years

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Next Level of Instilling Paranoia

I think the harassment has been taken to a new level with me. First I could just be dismissed as being crazy, which surely I will be labeled again. The cold and callous will post this on a sub reddit dedicated to me to further ensure I will be instilled with more paranoia, and even with something I have seen with my own eyes right now is making it a lot clearer than people in powerful positions are hacking my stuff. Maybe I am not as alarmed because I always have suspected that every tablet, every phone, every computer is tapped and I am always being monitored. Before people accuse me of being this deluded to think I am this important like the usual diatribe I am met with, I know everyone else is also monitored but some people willingly help the system because they are being blackmailed or paid. I was checking my facebook public page where trolls are attacking me, and normally seems these trolls are on meth and that is what is used to bribe them into harassing me because the comments are so random and so non imaginative. If someone is being mean to me and I know these people are paid to do this, I will stoop to their level in name calling because I know this particular people are sent to fuck with my head. I noticed comments left from me, and it was not on my actual public page but rather my personal page sending those messages. I did not post those messages, and even with me changing my password, these people will still have access and they will not stop.

It feels like I did not give in to their plan, that I suspected these soulless assholes to have, of killing myself from the constant reminder they are watching me, and even if that is a lie, it is at most cohesion to make an effort to instill paranoia and payback for even daring to attract some kind of audience, and talking about the people in position of power and since they dismiss me for being a mentally ill momma’s boy in the basement who is spewing conspiracies, but when I use my mental illness, it becomes me using it as a crutch when I am using it to my advantage since it is true. No one in their right mind could fake being this mentally ill, and while I am never proud of going off in a fit of rage and saying whatever is disrespectful because I am longing for the day I never have to be here anymore, but now that I have not killed myself or attempted to, even though there have been days the last few months where I have been going off and been more transparent about not wanting to endure all of this mental torture, that most people will not see from their view, or people who have purposely blocked the view because I am not a priority in this planet, so now they hacked my phone and make it transparent about it because it dawns on me that this is 100 percent and there is nothing I can do to change it.

I could contact facebook but they are probably run by the alt right types and they allow some of the most fucked up people on these platforms. It could be numerous people and I can throw shade at a lot of people in my life who I think would do this because a lot of them have ties to government types, some of them are part of IT and probably get paid to troll me, it could be Stern Show related since I had Wendy the Slow Adult on, and ask her questions about how Howard is not helping her, because it would be insane for someone who just offered help to Kathy Lee Gifford could help someone he exploited for entertainment and replay it nonstop for several years and then when he decides he wants all the money he could give a fuck about them, so when I bring light to that a little more, it could piss off the wrong people.

There are the usual people who have dedicated a sub reddit to me and create rumors about me nonstop, like me transitioning into a woman and wanting to darken my skin, me and some other Stern Show associate are gay together etc or that I beat up a gay couple or that I have weapons, which I don’t and don’t plan on having access to, and try to make me out to be more extreme than I am, and fail to mention how people are dedicated to watching me and instilling paranoia and fear and if I dare snap back and get mean with them, because these people are designed to be non caring and unsympathetic individuals then they make it out to be like I am the one being an asshole like I am not being provoked. One guy I suspect is that youtuber who did the Stern imitation and since he has lost his crew and got banned as his regular name, then went the basketball route, which failed because he was copying others work without any credit, and now he became a reddit story guy who does youtube videos, and since he has been exposed by that community and doing his usual tricks of doing live streams where he sets up how he is the victim in all of this, even though he is not a victim by any stretch. He always takes from Stern in that, because people who have been the biggest bullies on the planet make it seem like they are the ones being bullied. “Don’t you do that Hanzi?” Yeah and I still think I am a victim, but what does it matter, no one believes me anyways? How many tweets, blogs, videos etc have I done ad nauseam where I say the same shit, and stuttering like a fucking jerk off and nothing has been investigated. This person who I suspect has been behind it has really tried to get me to kill myself and because I did not know who he truly was, which conveniently got put out there after months of me not wanting to be part of his show, and cosigning it, he has had a vendetta and in the process of him getting exposed by his new community and still being able to convince people he is the victim, he and others associated with him are still torturing me.

I have also been vocal about the WWE and their supposed gangster ways which I theorize because I have no facts to back me up on that matter, but it could be their trolls who also have decided to fuck with me and have held a grudge for me calling them out for shilling for the company. I have made a plethora of enemies and every one of them will continue to hate my guts. I bet if I post this on facebook, there is a good chance this might be deleted and maybe by bringing light to it they might back off but why would they back off, if no one is ever going to call out Howard Stern because it is not convenient enough. I sure as hell can’t expect any leftist to have my back, or maybe they do in spirit, but maybe because I think their voice is limited with what can be said even though it is much more than what is being said mainstream, but maybe because I call that out, why would they want to help me or expose this. They might have hints on their podcast about how people can be framed by a crime or made to look like they are crazy but nothing will ever be done.

I frankly don’t like to be here because I really feel like I am living in an episode of twilight zone but it is a never ending story of the main character bitching and no one even caring because he has burned every bridge and the people in charge no letting me die is too easy for me because it is what I want the most, and to never be seen since I am never going to be respected. I have not earned respect and the people in the system, as a collective, even though presented as individual opinion, will carry the narrative of me being entitled and a cry baby for knowing my value, even though the system tries their best to devalue you to everyone else in the world and never fill you in on the hidden rules that people will never know exist and continually have a limited view on what is transpiring. People are going to keep fucking with me. I know people in my life hate my guts and I will never trust a soul on this planet. I am in so much mental pain and I realize bitching about incessantly is not the answer, but it is better than drugging myself and boozing myself like the predecessors in the game who took what their masters served them and then continued an age of ignorance and propaganda and then further continue this propaganda by making it seem any type of leftist mentality is the problem and conflate it with the centrist mentality where systemically they support racism, homophobia and misogyny that they ingrained into most of us by making it seem fighting the system is the right to say those things and carry those attitudes. So if I have to write down my thoughts, and as boring as it gets because it is the same fucking episode over and over, it lacks substance and I have been so bombarded with nonstop thoughts and not being able to retain everything or comprehend everything I have become inept and just am counting down the clock of when I am allowed to just die because I will never belong here.

I have to continue living for some reason but these people are so dangerous and so full of vengeance towards me they will stop at nothing to be the cause of a failed attempt at suicide because they never let me succeed to begin with, and they surely would not let me succeed in suicide, they would make sure to keep me alive but under their custody because they can then abuse me even more and no one will say anything. It will be too late before any independent media outlet will ever call out Stern, barely anyone does and if they do, they do it for old material in his show which does not age well in today’s more politically correct times, but not the actual propaganda he was paid to spread and the evil things he has done to protect his spot, and it hurts so much because even I feel like my friends and loved ones have been recruited and it hurts me every time I wake up to realize people who I thought were strong willed would compromise their soul just to be included with the elite type and get advanced screenings, free tickets, access to industry sold pussy, that we cannot expose because we are creating a fake woman empowerment in the mainstream so implying that the world is run by sex etc, it would be a mansplaining type of moment from an “incel” in his mother’s basement. Even more reason to just be left for dead. I don’t belong here.

I really will never have any help and it is okay. These people will continue to do evil shit over and over and as much as writing the same shit in more mediocre ways for each blog I continue to write, I will choose that instead of doing anything to anyone or myself but please anyone in the system who claims to be good, if you read this don’t pimp out my name for your podcast or website if something happens to me and I know you won’t listen, because you won’t listen now, so when push comes to shove and something does inevitably happens to me, you will have no shame and fucking cover it and pretend to act shocked that this could have happened. These people will eventually have to kill me, they already have me on many government lists so they can justify keeping an eye on me because they can say my conspiracies are a danger to the population and I will end up doing something to someone and the only way that could happen was if they made me MK Ultra and do something. One day Howard Stern will be exposed for the piece of shit he is, and same with Vince McMahon and whoever else they recruited to fuck with other people when they speak out too much. I know people I know personally will be absolved from any wrongdoing because they were probably blackmailed or bribed and then when it becomes convenient they can pretend they were on my side the entire time.

I will never be free mentally and every single day I regret waking up to any of this and I wish I was seriously aborted. I really never did belong on this planet and I will beat that shitty drum forever. You take pleasure in my misery and taking bets in your discord serve about my self destruction and they do this with everyone else they monitor in the system, Again it is all my opinion and my mental illness that you will never take seriously because even some of these supposed independent types have sold out and have become more corporate and are actual Stern fans so they will never expose a Zionist because then you will be labeled an anti Semite. Fuck this planet forever. I will continue to wish my misery will be put to an end, I better stop writing this blog because I am just repeating myself even more than usual, and this is what happens when your head has been consumed with the possibilities of the secrecy and then having to worry about memorizing names, and retaining more valuable information that I have to just analyze this world like it is a wrestling storyline and even that has been taken from me from other people.

I can’t wait until someone in the wrestling world steals more of my thoughts from my blogs but will never have the balls to admit they were in any way influenced by anything I write but the point is I am being hacked and there is nothing I can do to stop it because it could be literally anyone helping them. Is this just a way to get me off of facebook completely since it is turning to shit? I wonder what they will fucking do next but it is going to get worse and it is probably going to really hammer home my mental illness and because I am not forgiving to those who partook in making me feel like shit they will then show how vindictive they are and the best part is they will never have to answer to any of this shit until they see it convenient to make it known but then these same people want to make some kind of peace and since I am holding a grudge against people who I think have made my days worse and really made me regret waking up and just to be hurtful toward me, where I have to be hurtful back, these people will continue to hold a grudge against me and will keep putting their steel boots to my neck until I give in and accept them for doing what they have done because I am sure it is just business but to me when you try to it known that I am being profited off of and being pimped out for others to make money and then instill fear into me about knowing my every move and posting my blogs before I even post them on tumblr. I don’t take kindly to that. I am getting bored with even writing this shitty blog because I have said all of this before and these people know I am limited with my vernacular so there is only so much I can express and nothing happens so then I will have no choice but to attempt suicide.

#Hanzi 2019 Howard Stern Show Illuminati Hacking Facebook Instill Fear Paranoia WWE call out powers progressive leftist independent media #mainstream trolling harassment victim youtuber doxxer family friends

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