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popculturebuffet · 3 years

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Static Shock: Shock to the System and Aftershock Review

“You know what? 13 years ago, me and some friends sat in a restaurant all night and daydreamed about the kinds of stories we would tell if we had the chance. We wanted to expand the concept of superhero to include characters that kind of looked like us, who had some of the same background, experiences and dreams as we did. We wanted to create something fun that a new generation would respond to the same way we responded to our childhood heroes -and damn if we didn't succeed beyond my wildest dreams. Today, Static Shock is a household name with millions of fans of all ages (Is there stuff I'd do differently? Yeah, almost all of season four but why nitpick?) Static is the most successful thing I've ever helped create and I'm both proud and gratified that people have taken it into their hearts. “

Dwayne McDuffie, Co-Creator of Static and Writer for Static Shock

This review is dedicated to Dwayne McDuffie and Robert L. Washington III. Rest In Power Static Shock is awesome. I grew up with the show watching it both first run on the WB and second run on Cartoon Network and loved it as much as I did other large parts of my childhood courtsey of DC like Batman the Animated Series, Teen Titans and both Justice League Shows. What makes this unique among the DC Properties is that Static wasn’t really a big name when he got a show. He wasn’t even part of the DC Universe.

See as I had no idea for probably a good decade, Static actually came from Milestone Comics, a company ran by and focused on african americans. The goal was understandable: While black heroes existed at the time, and there were some fantastic ones like Storm, Jim Rhodes and Steel... these guys weren’t the center of their universes. The big faces of the big companies, Spider-Man, Wolverine, Hulk, Iron Man, Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, The Flash.. were white. So milestone was a shakeup of that with the main teams and heroes all being black, from Icon, an alien who’d lived among man but rather than end up in kansas like say superman ended up imprinting on a slave woman centuries ago and has been with us since, who was encouraged by an energetic teenager named Rocket to put on a costume and do something with his powers and his community, Hardware, a tech genius who had his work stolen by a white asshole and wanted to fight back and BLood Syndicate, a group of gang members all caught in the “The Big Bang”, a huge fight between all of Dakota, the midwest city where the comics take place, that ended when the police released a bunch of experimental gas that gave them all super powers.

As most of you who have watched the show already know, this is where Static comes from. Static was the company making their own Spider-Man, i.e. a nerdy teenager who suddenly gets super powers, in this case Virgil Hawkins who at the prodding of a friend took a gun to The Big Bang to get revenge on a bully. .but ultimately couldn’t go through with it, decided it wasn’t him and got rid of the gun and ran.. and still ended up in it, becoming Static, a young hero dedicated to using his powers to fight other “Bang Babies”.. a term that dosen’t really sound that great and they really should’ve thought through. But Phrasing aside the character was great and I look forward to reading more and only haven’t because I have to buy the issues gradually, but DC is currently re-releasing the individual issues of Static, Icon, and Hardware weekly in anticipation of a reboot of Milestone Coming in May digitally on Comixology at only 2 bucks a pop, and rereleased the original print collections that were long out of print for 10 bucks each, though i’m getting static on it’s own since i’ts really not that much less expensive as it only collects four issues while Icon and Hardware both collect 8, so I can wait a bit there on Hardware and already own Icon: A Hero’s Welcome.. and really need to review it at some point.

While Milestone’s output was good, at least from the two books i’ve read, with Robert Washinton III, who sadly not only ahs also passed but was fucking homeless for a while in the 2000′s.. what the actual hell, writing Static alongside Dwayne McDuffie, whose later moved onto animation writing tons of Static episodes all of them classics including the school shooting episode, the first three rubberbandman episodes and both Anasazi episodes. Point is it had good writers and artists and even had a distrbution deal with DC, so they had a leg up on the glut of other comic book companies.. but happened to start at the start of the comic book crash, a huge downturn in sales in the 90′s as the speculator boom, i.e. a bunch of people assuming every number one would be worth golden and silver age money, forgetting a character has to BUILD INTREST and this stuff takes time, and whose attempts to sell fast flooded the market with comics no one wanted,, caused the roof to cave in and with a bunch of assholes pegging milestone as a “Company for black people” rather than you know, a company trying to add fucking diversity and represntation to the comics industry, and that simply wanted a unvierse that was centered around people of color instead of white guys. The company eventually had to shut down, and was left to lisencing. This is where the show comes in. Producers HAD been trying to make shows based on Milestone for a while, as far back as the mid-90s and the company was was all for it but the closest it got was an x-men style team series using various characters whose first draft was terrible and whose second draft by Alan Burnett, a producer on various DC Animated shows who’d go on to produce Static Shock, that McDuffie and others really liked but sadly did not get picked up. eventually though with presistance Static ended up getting a series and as I said McDuffie went on to write for it though he did not develop it. Some changes went into place naturally to make it work for an early 2000′s kids show and while i’ll probably miss so since again, only read one issue as we go. But due to Milestone coming back my intrest was peaking, hence finally reading the copy of Icon I had to buy from the library years ago due to keeping it overdue but am now EXTREMLEY glad I own as i’ts incredibly rare and really damn good, and wanting to read static, doing so lately since it’s finally on digtiial and again not too expensive. So join me as I give you a shock to the system and revisit this hell of a series to see if it holds up.. which just to cut that short it does and i’m only holding off binging MORE because I want the first two eps to be fresh enough in my head to review properly.. and also go over the various voice actors because that’s a thing with me now and charcter co-creator dwayne mcduffie because he’s awesome.

As I like to do when covering a series first episodes, let’s run down the voice cast.

First up is an UTTER LEGEND, and I use the term voice acting legend a lot, and mean it every time and have good reason to use it when I say it, and Phil LaMarr is a GOD in the buisness, having done a metric ton of voice acting roles, and being easily the most proflific black voice actor in animation. He’s also done some acting work, mostly in pulp fiction which I have not seen, but his true staying power and talent is in animation so here’s just the roles I feel are most notable or may not be very notable but i’m bringing up anyway because it’s my list.

His roles besides Virgil include Lester Payton the Texas Ranger who showed up for one very good episode of king of the hill to be badass and show up the hickish, stupid and very punchable local Sheriff, Gearld’s obnoxious older brother Jamie O on Hey Arnold, Hermes Conrad from futurama, Carver from the Weekenders (PUT IT ON PLUS DISNEY), Axel Foley for exactly one bit in Clerks the Animated Series, but anyone whose seen it will know exactly which one, Micheal on the Proud Family, Black Vulcan on Harvey Birdman (In His Pants), Hector Con Carne and Dracula on Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy and Evil Con Carne, Jack on Samurai Jack something I didn’t know for decades (and I didn’t know about the carver thing till today though i’ts obvious in hindsight), John Motherfucking Stewart on Justice League and later Steel and Adult Static in the Unlimited seasons, Osmosis Jones on Ozzy and Drix, Bolbi Strogofski on Jimmy Neutron (And yes i’m just as shocked as you are.), Wilt on Foster’s Home for Imaginary Friends, Marcus on Life and Times of Juniper Lee, Bull Sharkowski on My Gym Partner is A Monkey and Also a Sociopath Please Help God My Life is a waking nightmare..... okay the rest of that title is implied but we all watched the same show, we all know in our hearts that was the title

Moving on, he was also, and yes there’s MORE: Maxie Zeus on The Batman, Philly Phil on Class of 3000, Both Robertsons AND Fancy Dan on the Spectacular Spider-Man, Jazz on Transformers Animated, Kit Fisto and Bail Organa on Star Wars the Clone Wars, Gambit and Bolivar Trask on Wolverine and the X-Men, Aquaman I, L-Ron and Green Beetle on Young Justice, J.A.R.V.I.S. and Wonder Man (Simon Williams) In Avengers: Earth’s Mightiest Heroes, Gabe and Carny on Kaijudo: Rise of the Duel Masters (Really miss that game and have been snapping up what cards I can get lately), Baxter Stockman in the 2012 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (And there’s also an awesome photo of him with 2003 Baxter... the two best together in one place. I got chills), Dormammu (I’ve come to bargin) in various Marvel Shows, Noville in Mighty Magiswords, Zach’s dad Marcus in Milo Muprhy’s Law, Craig’s Douchey Brother Benard on Craig of the Creek, showing he’s clearly come full circle, And Mr. Scully on the Casagrndes. And given It took about two paragraphs to cover all of this, yeah, I MEANT legend.

Next we have Kevin Micheal Richardson as Virgil’s Dad Robert, and it’s the first time since I started introducing Voice Actors on a show that i’ve overlapped. I already covered him during the second episode of legend of the three caballeros, but for the short version he’s also very acomplished, very damn good and I somehow missed he played the old blind guy in hey arnold> Needless to say the dude is awesome.

Virgil’s Sister Sharon is played by Michele Morgan who was in the rap group BWP and did some smaller roles outside of this the one exception being Juicy on the PJ’s, which I have not watched much of but REALLY do not like, though i’ll at least give it credit for being a decently long lasted black claymation sitcom at at time when there were, and hoenstly still aren’t, many black animated shows.

Back to long casting sheets, next up is Jason Marsden, who is one of my faviorites as i’ve realized recently as Ritchie. As I also found out only recently he started on the Sitcom Step By Step and while that show is .. ehhhhhhhhh, he is great in it because he’s great in everything. He also apparently has his own internet variety show which I have to watch now. His roles include Max Goof, ironically given I was just talking about that role a few days ago, Haku in the english dub of Spirted Away, Micheal, the kid being yelled at by a bunch of 80′s cartoons characters not to take drugs in Cartoon All-Stars to the Rescue!, Nermal in the DTV Garfield movies and The Garfield Show, Tino on the Weekenders (SERIOUSLY DISNEY), Snapper Carr on Justice League, Rikochet on Mucha Lucha! for the last season (Why I do not knkow and while I love the guy he was not the right choice), Felix on Kim Possible, Chase Young on Xiaolin Showdown (WHich I did not realize was him and now I do easily his best role and I REALLY should’ve), Red Star and Billy Numerous on Teen Titans, Speedy on Batman Brave and the Bold, Impulse/Kid Flash II on Young Justice, and Fingers on Kaijudo. He hasn’t done as much lately which is a shame but hopefully i’tll pick up again.

Next up is Hotstreak, Virgil’s brutal bully turned unhinted pyromancer played by DANIEL COOKSY, another actor i’m happy to talk about and another faviorite I haven’t seen much of lately. Daniel was an actor from childhood, playing Budnick on Salute Your Shorts, but he quickly gained a long and storied catalogue of VA Work: His first big roll was as Montana Max on Tiny Toon Adventures and if there is a god he’ll be back for the reboot, Stoop Kid on Hey Arnold, the incomprable Jack Spicer on Xiaolin Showdown, far and away his best role and part of why Chronicles sucked so bad was he was he didn’t get to reprise the role, The titular Dave the Barbarian, Django of the Dead on El Tigre (Had no idea), Kicks utterly insufferable big Brother Brad on Kick Buttowski and apparently he’s back at it again after laying low for a bit as he’s voicing Snag in Long Gone Gultch.. which I already really needed to watch but hot damn, I missed him. Sign me up.

Frieda, Virgil’s crush and close friend who in the comics was his main confidante and love intrest but here is eventually pushed aside, is voiced by Danica Mckeller whose work didn’t seem all that familiar.. until I found out she was Ms. Martian on Young Justice. Hello, Megan. Very talented and she did get a major role in a dc show eventually so good for her. Can’t wait for season 4.

So with our major players out of the way, let’s talk about Dwayne. McDuffie is an AWESOME man and my respect has grown for him more and more with time. A writer and editor at Marvel, McDuffie has a decent resume doing smaller but awesome books, which I got most of for free last year when Marvel was giving out free digital collections due to the lock down, like Damage Control, a sitcom set in the marvel universe about the company that picks up after superhero battles and the logistics and antics that insue and Dethlok, about a pacfist trapped inside a cyborg zombie. He was as mentioned one of Milestone’s founders, and wrote Icon, Hardware and co-wrote the first few issues of Static. He’d go on to a pretty stacked career in animation, writing on this show and Justice League before becoming story editor and show runner for Unlimited , even making a return to comics as a result writing the Marvel miniseries beyond and an arc of Fantastic Four in which Black Panther and Storm filled in for Reed and Sue while the two of them worked on their marriage after Reed did.. pretty much everything he did in Civil War. He also became head writer and show runner for Ben 10: Alien Force and Ultimate Alien, revamping the franchise a bit, and Alien Force, at least the first two seasons are awesome and I feel people overreacted on the changes. Ultimate Alien is okay, but has it’s problems but the finale was awesome and left the man’s legacy on a high note.. as he sadly passed in 2011 due to heart complications. He is truly missed and produced some utterly amazing stuff whlie he was alive. So on that melacholy note let’s see what happens when his creation hits the tv screen shall we?

Shock to the System:

This episode is written by Christopher Simmons, who is apparently a huge art designer guy.. but i’m not sure that’s the same chirsptoher simmons. Much more notable is the writer of the episode after this Stan Berkowitz, who was showrunner for season 1 and has done a LOT of DCAU work and is suprising talent, having written a lot of awesome Justice League episodes including Secret Society and The Royal Flush One. Point is we’re in first class hands. Before the episode itself I want to talk about the intro and how it’s unique among DCAU shows. Like most Western Animation the intros for DCAU shows didn’t change much over the seasons with the most I can see is JLU changing up the footage to preview the current episode and later adding Hawkgirl to the intro after her return to the team. I THINK superman the animated series changed some of it’s footage too, but I can’t confrim it and may of just been imagining it. As i’ve talked about on my blog it’s normally a pet peeve of mine, mostly because shows you know, change after season 1, characters get added some one shot characters used for the intro never return, and after a while it can feel dated especially in more recent shows where the status quo is not at all set in stone and things change quite a bit. But sometimes it can be good enough that either the dated elements don’t matter or general enough that you don’t need to change it and i’ts just that good.. and given Batman the Animated Series has both in spades, you can see why i’ts probably my golden standard for intros and after superman the animated series DC mostly followed suit. But being part of the teen superhero boom of the 2000′s Static is unique in that it splits the diffrence: It’s intro gets the character across perfectly like a good intro should starting with Virgil getting out of bed and running a comb across his head before showing off to his sister to bug her and literally running into his dad who hand shim his bag and smiles, silently showing off his family. He then runs to school and runs into some trouble.. and said trouble changes for each intro, with Rubberband Man for season 1, Kanga (Whose name I only know because I happened to run across it) for season 2 and your guess is as good as mine for seasons 3 and 4, though Hotstreak is a constant. They still save some money for seasons 1 and 2 by recycling some animation.. but that’s alright with mea s it was good animation, and the improtant thing is cycling out old villians for new ones, while Season 3 is the only out and out redo to show off Richie taking on the Gear identity, adding about 10 seconds of intro to let him show off. Seriously it’s an utterly great intro and like the other DCAU intros outside of superman, stuck in my brain.

The other change that’s ENTIRELY diffrent from the rest of htem is that the music changes each time. The first two have the same formula just with a difrent vocalist and backing track: a superhero theme but with some hip hop beat boxing over it. The first intro is fine enough, not specattcular but stilll god. The second song.. is eh. Not really great and feels like a marked downgrade from season 1 and just dosen’t blend an ocrehstiral superhero theme with the beatbox elements NEARLY as well. The third song though is my faviorite.. even if I HATED Little Romeo as a kid because I really did not like his nick show, it’s more a straight up rap song, but it has a faster beat that fits the intro better, and Romeo’s bragging fits Virgil’s character and penchant for Spidey quips perfectly. I also find it ironic that the theme that blends in with the dcau the most, the first season’s, is the one from BEFORE they decided to put it in the same universe. Still this season’s intro slaps, I just like the LIttle Romeo one a bit more. The opening scene is picture perfect. Some masked crooks looting a warehouse are loading some stolen TV’s into a van when suddenly the lights come on one by one above one of the crooks before his tv switches to various channels before going haywire. Cue our heroes’ entrance. Let’s tak ea good look at him

Static’s Costume is awesome. While I prefer the season 3 redesign, and clearly DC agrees as the redeisgn was used for both pre and post new-52 when they used him, and while he’s getting a fresh design for the reboot, said design takes a lot of cures from said outfit. As for how the outfit differs from the comics itself this is the design he had in the comics

It didn’t change much from the first issue, with the exception of his now iconic big puffy jacket which was added pretty early into the character’s history but I was unaware of that and just assumed he had the bodysuit the whole time. The more you know. But as you can see outside of the cool puffy jacket over a costume the two couldn’t be more diffrent. While the Dakotaverse outfit is more a standard superhero outfit, with some regular clothes touches on top the first cartoon outfit comes off more realistic, looking fantastic, but still coming off as something two teenagers could realistically have thrown together with what clothes they could buy, while still looking awesomely superheroy. IN short it’s perfect and only topped by the season 3 onward look...

But the slicker look, with an even cooler jakcet and the new colors all fitting the lighting ascetic better, but fits: not only has Virgil come along farther since he started, but with Richie now having a genius brain as Gear, he can provide a far slicker, far more professional superhero outfit on the budget the two have. This show is just great at costume design.

So getting back to the episode at hand, Static puts up a huge sign in elecrticy saying “Bad guys here”, PFFFT, and then hides away and narrates that a few days ago he’d be the last person anyone would’ve expected to be a hero. Cue Flashback.

We meet Virgil Hawkins on an average day: rapping into his razor, getting into a petty argument with his older sister Sharon, as a younger brother myself I relate to this, and talking to his dad who tries to get them to cut that out. We find out his mom has passed via his sister making really terrible eggs and saying that’s how mom made them. Exposition! Though we do get a great bit through this as when his sister gets distracted by her boyfriend calling, he uses the opportunity of her leaving the room to dump the eggs.. after having earlier jokingly prayed to his mom for a way out of breakfast. “Thanks for looking out for me mom” That’s both very sweet and very hilarious.

This is a change from the comics it turns out as I was utterly flored to find Virgil’s mom alive and well when reading the first issue of Static. Turns out this was a change made during development and one Dwane McDuffie admitted in the interview I got the tribute quote from to not liking as he had a good reason for having Virgil have a nuclear family, as most black families in media at the time were just one single parent and a kid or two with the other having either left or died. He wasn’t too bothered by it as while he preferred what he came up with in the first place, the show DID get some really good stories out of her being gone and didn’t just have her be absent because shut up. Virgil is still working over her death and the way HOW she died ends up playing an important role in this episode and gives Virgil a dislike of guns, as she died to gang violence. So the change wasn’t for stupid or racist reasons, but likely both to keep the character count down while giving them something to work with for storylines. Or it could’ve been for stupid reasons and the writers simpily made lemonade out of that very dumb lemon, either way it ended up working. Virgil also plans to ask his friend Frieda out. Frieda was a bigger deal in the comics, being Virgil’s friend and confidante as well as his ocasional love intrest, but here while she was inteded to at least be his love intrest here, that sorta fizzled out. As for the best friend role we meet her replacement in Richie, which McDuffie conceded was the kind of change a studio would make swapping out a female character for a male one. That being said the crew made the best of it and Richie is awesome, a bit of an overcompensating dipstick at times, but a good sounding board and pal for virgil and funny as hell too. He was also gay, something only revealed post series by McDuffie.. but unlike say Dumbledore, it’s a bit easier to swallow here: The early 2000′s were an even worse time for gay characters in tv let alone cartoons, and if they couldn’t kiss or have sex scenes on regular tv, there was no way we were getting any representation in a children’s show. So it was largely just hinted at by Richie overcompensating in how “into girls” he was and i’m once again fine with this being word of god as it was literally the best they could do and his counterpart in the comics was also gay, if not as relevant. Ritch encourages Virgil to work on his opening to ask her out as it’s awkward as heck, hits a bit close to home.. but I do appricate the show just .. having him try and ask her out from the first episode. They likely would’ve drug thigns out a bit granted had they used Frieda more, i’m not blind to the convetions of the time. .but as someone who got the very wrong idea from tv that just waiting around meant a girl would like you eventually, when no you need to actually try even if rejection happens, I honestly wish we had more of this in media than the other garbage morals at the time.

So he prepares to , not helped by her mentioning guy after guy is asking her out.... but before he can F-Stop, the future hotstreak, shows up. F-STOP

That being said...... it’s not as bad as the original gangster name for the comic’s version, Biz Money B. Yes BIZ MONEY B

So yeah while F-Stop is no more intimidating, it at least means I can stop laughing. Francis, because I can’t type F-Stop without laughing and this review is already behind, shoves Virgil out of the way and agressively hits on Frieda, even saying “you smell good”, the international sign your a douchebag and also to call the police. Virgil steps up to the guy and gets PAINFULLY slammed into the lockers, something I give the animation team a lot of credit for, as you can FEEL how fucking painful that was. Virgil is saved by Wade, another local gangbanger who in the comics was a close friend of Virgils but here saves him seemingly just because.. seemingly.

On the way home though Virg’s problems don’t end as naturally, the giant sized asshole with nothing better to do has his goons corner virgil before VIOLENTLY beating him.. off screen but the noises, and the clear brusies including a black eye, on virgil afterwords.. just holy damn i’m suprsied they got away with this but it shows just how horrifing it was and that this is a step above regular bullying, which make no mistake is absoluttley terrible and the series would later do an episode on it and school shootings, into straight up gang violence. Wade shows up again and gets the bastards to flee.. but also makes it clear he can’t keep doing this.. and forces Virgil to meet him at his base under the bridge. And it’s a tense sequence, with Virgil KNOWING this is a bad idea but having no real choice and Wade making it abundantly clear that he wants Virgil to join his crew, and makes a chilling point: while Virgils dad RIGHTFULLY dosen’t want his son to join a gang as Virgil points out.. he can’t be there for him all the time and eventually one of those times, Francis will be around. And he may not surivive that. Virgil nods noncomittaly. At home it gets even more grim as he dosen’t open up to his family, understandably as his dad would jsut say to call the police and well.. we’ve seen how the police treat black people. At best they’d just try and use Virgil as an informant and that likely wouldn’t end fucking well for Virgil. Ritchie points out he can’t join a gang, virgil’s mom died that way.. see told you it’d be important to the plot.. but I like how the story dosen’t offer an easy answer.. well okay he gets electric powers soon enough but without the fantastic element this is just an innocent kid caught between either joining the very thing his mom hated or hoping a system not built to protect him will keep him alive. It’s utterly saddening and chilling and holy shit is it amazing a cartoon in the early 2000′s was able to get away with.. ANY OF THIS, and they handle it great, paired down a bit from the comics but even then it’s still incredibly balsy they got THIS much in.

Naturally Wade calls in his favor and our hero is forced to come running.. and soon finds out Wade’s brought him in for a massive gang war. Welcome to the big bang, baby. He hands Virgil a gun as things get started and Virgil.. drops the thing and tries to escape, in a harrowing sequence.. and runs into Francis because god apparently REALLY hates this kid today. As if to prove that the police show up and while that prevents a beating, they demand they disassemble. then release untested gas on them because of course they do.

As a result the big bang truly begins, with the various gang members getting mutated.. and naturally so does virgil. Though he wakes up the next day seemingly fine. How’d he get home? Does his dad know where he was?

I don’t know and we’re not getting any answers, but Virgil soon finds weird stuff happening like his clock shorting out, change being attracted to him and his razor going wild. It’s only once he get sback to his room he gets an inkling of what’s going on and calls Ritchie to meet him at the Junk yard.. though it is a bit of a dick move as he dosen’t you know, tell him anything about Wade or Francis right away. He does at the yard though.. and that he has powers, having finally figured out how to use them to a point. And the series does provide a decent justification later as to why he’d get this so quickly: Virgil is a smart kid, gets great grades at school and apparnetly there’s even an episode later where he gets a scholarship to a fancy genius school. So him getting how elctromagntisim works or being a quick study on it makes perfect sense.

Richie suggest the obvious.. to become a superhero. And the thought.. hadn’t occured to Virgil. It’s honestly a nice twist on the old trope. That he hadn’t thought of it, not because he’s selfish or any of that or needs to learn a hard lesson, those have been done.. simply because the rush of getting his powers, and implicitly of having a way out of his current predciament, a way to keep Francis off his back and keep Wade from pulling him in further. His own path. But once i’ts brought up.. he jumps on it. Part of it is being a nerd like you or I, of course he wants to.. and being a good intetioned one, he knows this is the right thing to do. It’s waht makes a superhero a hero: Anyone can get powers in a universe like this, esepcailly the dcau, but it takes true courage and heart to use them selflessly and knowing you’ll be in danger. It’s why I love surperheroes: they often didn’t ask for this but they do it anyway because somebody’s gotta. We also get an intresting wrinkle is superman is, at least I think in this episode I could’ve missed it or misremembered things, mentioned as a fictional character. That’s because originally like the comics this wasn’t part of the DCAU.. but eventually the crew decided it shared staff from it, shared a network, both first run and on reruns, why not just make it part of the DCAU proper. I fully support this decisionf: While i’m midly annoyed unlimited never really used anything from static shock outside of Static himself in the time travel episode, despite you know Static and Gear having BEEN to the tower and not being much younger than Kara and defintely older than Courtney, I chalk it up to weird rights issues or something like that. But having Batman, Batman Beyond, Superman, Green Lantern and the Justice League itself all guest star was a good idea, and expanded both static’s universe and gave the DCAU something differnt as most heroes in it were older and more experinced in contrast to the up and coming virgil. Again really would’ve been nice if he and gear could’ve been a part of the expanded league but production might of just been too far ahead or, given he had his own series, they might just have wanted to stick to toher characters. Also begs the question why Icon or Hardware wasn’t adapted for the expanded League but hey, questions for later and the tricky logisitics of the milestone rights might’ve been the issue. I don’t know I wasn’t in the room.

So we get a costume montage, including Black Vulcan from Superfriends, who again ironically would be voiced by Lamarr not too long after this, though weirdly they DON’T use his outfit from the comics for this montage. I mean why not? It fits the gag and would’ve been a good second to last choice.But what could’ve been aside we get our winner and cut back to present day...

Thanks boys. Static finds out one of the things in the warehouse is a shipment of computers for the school and can’t help but show off, showing up to the school, where Frieda and Richie are setting up for the dance, and dropping off the computers, and even saying his catchphrase for the first time “I’ll put a shock to your system” (Which Richie chimes in with awesome line and I agree, great catcphrase), before helping set up and flirting with frieda.

Though as Richtie says he’s a natural. He’s not wrong as he can work a crowd. .but back it up too as his first run out had him easily taking out the crooks, and as many teen superheros and fans of heroes of hte type, myself included will tell you, getting it right in one is not easy. Not even Miles MOrales was immune. All Static needs now is a villian.

And the end of the episode provides one as we see, in horrifc and once again damn suprising detail most of hte new metas aren’t doing so good and are melting and other stuff and we catch up with Francis whose burning up.. and naturally given that hair, though given he named himself F-Stop it’s the least of his problems, he’s got fire powers and escapes to “Have me some fun”

So with that we end episode 1. And it’s excellent, a great way to introduce the hero and while the warehouse opening is a bit superflous, it is a decent addition, showing our heroes first outing in costume and giving us a bit of an action scene to get us through the very heavy rest of the episode. But the rest of the episode is no less grippping, telling the tale of a teen caught in an unwinnable scenario who suddenly finds a way out. And speaking of which waht of Wade? Will we see him again? Is he perhaps Ebon, the series big bad as I thought when I was a kid? What comes of the man who directly caused static’s origin?

Yeahhh that’s the one mistep I think the pilot makes. Frieda is understandable as that was likely a simple change in creative direction. This though? Why build this guy up if your not going to bring him back. I mean where he went was probably the grave, as he probably did due to his mutation, but it’s still VERY weird to spend a whole episode focusing on this guy, building him up as a big personal threat to our hero.. and NOT have him become the series big bad. And maybe he WAS supposed to be ebon and they just changed their mind. I don’t know but it bothers me it bothers me a lot. Otherwise though flawless. ONe more to go.

Aftershock: We open outside an electronics store, as our heroes watch the news reacap what happened in the first episode, with the media dubbing it the Big Bang and revealing their could be hundreds of “Metahumans”, as Virgil dubs after deciding the media’s term “Mutant” dosen’t fit, a nice wink to the fact that that’s the term used in dc comics and I believe milestone but could be wrong there. Me I like the term, has a nice ring to it.

At the store while Richie mulls over waht this means Static finds out he’s a human CD player.... this was before mp3 players and streaming on your phone made them horribly obsolete mind you and if you don’t know what one is congradualtions you live in some sort of bubble and you made me feel really old junior.

Frieda happens to be there and Virgil quips “What’s the matter they run out of britney cds”. Dude she’s not bad. Also be careful what you wish for man. Nickeback returned the year after this. You have not truly suffered through bad music yet my young friend. They spot a kid looking feverish, and he soon turns into a purple werewolf, as you do. It’s a bang baby.. those are richie’s exact word and you may not want to start a panic there bud. Just saying your best friend is one. THeir not all like this. Our heroes book it only to run into Francis who naturally refuses to let them leave and only doesn’t try to beat up Virgil because Virgil points otu the werewolf and nonplussed, he goes to fight it, scarring it off by revealing his own powers. He’s now dubbed himself Hotstreak which points for getting an actually good name kid. No points for what happens next as unsuprisingly getting powers did NOT mak ehim a better person and he attacks Virgil who blocks with a garbage can lid and thankfully is blasted into an ally. Richie tries to guard frieda for damn obvious reasons but gets hsi shirt burnt up because shut up Thankfully Static shows up, and we get our firsdt full on superhuman fight as both fight each other with aplomb, and it’s a damn good fight.. and one that goes pear shaped for Virg as he’s caught off guard when he finds out Hotstreak can use his powers to fly, and tackles him and his previous trauma causes him to freeze up. Thankfully , as Frieda put in a call earlier, the fire department arrive and HOt streak has to retreat, though Virgil is bummed that he “Choked”. And I love this as it not only shows Virgil’s inepxerince, as this is his first time fighting a bad guy but that just because he HAS power now dosen’t mean trauma and his previous fear of Hotstreak goes away or you won’t freeze up from time to time. It dosen’t make him weak or anything like some assholes would call it .. it makes him human. Humans make mistakes, and it makes him all the more relatable that he’s not pefect and that he did freeze up as I know I certainly would at last once in the circumstances.

Things don’t get better at dinner as Sharon and Pops argue over the bang babies with Pops calling them a meance and Sharon pointing out Static exists so they can’t all be bad. See assuming a group of superhumans are bad because a handful of them ar edick sis why the x-men had to get their own island nation. You can only save an ungreatful populous so many times before you say “fuck it i’m getting my own island, pay me for life saving drugs, save your damn selves and stop doing genocides on us. Kay thanks”. But he does bring up a valid point that rattles his son: We don’t know anything about the Bang Babies or their biological structures and it’s likely they might further mutate into monsters, Static included.

Virgil, understandably, wants to check this and thus he and richie compare blood samples in science, to no real conclusion. She he checks out with his doctor who assumes he’s sexually active in a great getting crap past the radar bit and a bit of realisim, but he agrees to the test though if something came up he would have to tell Virgil’s dsad and is up front about this. Nice dose of realisim.

That night City Council has a meeting and the Mayor TRIES to deflect Papa Hawkins questions about the bang babies which again, while being a judgmental ass as not every person hit was a gang member (Virgil, and as we discover later some others), and not every gang member is there by choice, some by circumstnace some, like virgil almost was, because they HAD no other option. Again years of reading x-men may of just made me a bit touchy on assholes admitely assuming superpower people bad. But it’s clear the public is upset and while she says an investigation is underway... Virgil and Richie are not only not convinced, but figure she’s actively covering it up. And unlike everyone else there who probably suspects the same, they can do something about it and tail her. It’s during this, and cleverly as I didn’t realie till writing this using similar skills to his human cd player act, Virgil listens in and discovers whose behind it: Edwin Alva, whose apparently richer than bill gates and a beloved phinarophist Alva, as it turns out, was actually the arch enemy of Hardware in the comics, taking advantage of the guy in his civiliian idtentiy and thus casuing him to launch a war on the asshole. He does transition into this series well though, being the one behind the gas that caused it and with the mayor agreeing to back off, planning to simply dump the info about the big bang on a disc then destroy everything for now till the heat dies down. Yup sounds like a corprate douchebag.

Static tails him, finds the lab and infiltrates it, stealing the disc.. but getting caught by Alva’s goon, and trapped in a glass prison, forced to use ALL his power to escape and barely getting out alive, but not before bouncing off alva’s car. Still he now has the proof.. and meanwhile Hotstreak, who I was wrong did get captured, is forced to take pill sbut spits them out once the orderly is gone. Dude.. WHY DIDN’T YOU WATCH HIM. Make sure he swallows that shit especially since, as he has no powers right now and can’t harm you.

Hotstreak escapes off screen and our heroes discuss the disc before he shows up, and we get a REALLY fucking amazing scene: Virgil ducks into an Alleway and ritchie is worried.. and Virgil disarms him with just one word responses Ritchie: Virg you can’t take him. Virgil: Gotta. Ritchie: Well at least wait for the fire department Virgil: Can’t. It’s simpile but it gets the point across: This is his fight, he can’t wait for help, and people need him. And this is what makes a true hero: It’s easy to be a hero when everythings going well.. but it’s the true ones who stick it out against the odds and fight anyway. And he’s going to. So we get one hell of a fight, though naturally Hotstreak burns up the disc. And I do like this as it dosen’t feel contrived.. yes Static could’ve left it with ritchie.. but he wasn’t thinking in the moment and dind’t really have time to think abotu the disc, only that people were being hurt and he was all they had between them and Hotstreak. It was no choice at all. Still that pisses Virgil off that the last night’s work is now worthless, and he fully charges up and curbstomps francis who retreats into a clearing. Hostreak brags when static follows, as even he’s figured out Static needs to be around metal, as he’s usually on his disc or the street, and in the park there suppodsidly isn’t any. But he’s not THAT smart as Virgil points out two things: one, he hoped to do this on PURPOSE so they wouldn’t be around people and no on e would get hurt and 2).. this is a city, there’s metal everywhere.. and he awesomely and cleverly proves it by unlodging a sewage pipe with his powers and dousing his foe, winning and proving his stuff. I love this solution, it’s a clever spider-man type way to disarm him, using smarts and the einvroment instead of just brute forcing it. Though the sewage part wasn’t intetional our hero still won and gets praise from the people dumb enough to follow the fight.

However at home Virgil points out it was Pyrrhic Victory and shows off his smarts by telling the tale behind it, which I didn’t know,because tv tropes didn’t exist yet: king pyrhus fought the romans and WON.. but had so little armies left that he still lost overall. That’s what this feels like to Virgil: he beat hotstreak but any chance at a cure for Bang Babies and Alva going to jail for causing them is gone. His mood does get a boost though as the doctor calls and reveals he’s fine, he just has a bit too much elctrolytes and just needs to lay off teh salt. He celebrates, we get a quick gag and the episode ends

Aftershock is another stellar episoe, giving us Virgil’s first super foe and a personal one at that, while showing some growth. As richie tells him he’s not virgil anymore he’s static and he can’t let his past get to him.. and he does’nt going from cowering in fear to easily beating his foe with simple logic. It’s a good followup that answers questions you may have from the first ep, like what does this do to virgil’s body, who supplied the gas, and why has no one done anything about this, and sets up another villian for Static in Alva. Great stuff. I highly recommend these episodes and the show as a whole: it’s fast paced, grounded and enjoyable, having just enough levity to not be too dour but just enough tension and stakes to be intresting. A throughly fantastic superhero show and one that i’d certainly love to revisit on this blog If you have an episode of static or the dcau in general you’d want me to cover, my comissions are open and details are on a tab on my blog or can be gotten simply by asking me via ask or dm. Tommorow we’re going deeper underground, there’s too much damage in this town as the Lena Retrospective continues. So expect gay ducks, straight ducks and some terrfirmains. See you next rainbow.

#static shock #static #virgil hawkins #richie foley #robert hawkins #sharon hawkins #hotstreak #milestone comics #dc comics #dc animated universe #dcau #dwayne mcduffie #robert l washington IIII #kids wb #hbo max #2000s #animation #black lives matter #black history month

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jahaanofmenaphos · 5 years

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Art by the awesome @tommieglenn!

Of Gods and Men Summary:

When the gods returned to Gielinor, their minds were only on one thing: the Stone of Jas, a powerful elder artefact in the hands of Sliske, a devious Mahjarrat who stole it for his own ends and entertainment. He claims to want to incite another god wars, but are his ulterior motives more sinister than that? And can the World Guardian, Jahaan, escape from under Sliske’s shadow?

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QUEST 05: MISSING, PRESUMED DEATH

QUEST SUMMARY:

Sliske invites all of Gielinor’s returned gods to his ‘grand ascendency’, claiming godhood. Instead, he uses the platform to pit all the gods against one another in a free-for-all that threatens to tear Gielinor apart. Their incentive? The sole survivor will be awarded what every deity is desperate for - the Stone of Jas…

CHAPTER 2: EMPYREAN CITADEL

K'ril Tsutsaroth, the demon servant of Zamorak, stood behind two of the Zamorakian Mahjarrat, Enakhra and Zemouregal. To their left, two uncomfortable avianse glared at the intruders to their citadel - after all, the Empyrean Citadel was once Armadyl’s seat of power on Gielinor. On the other side of the room, General Graardor looked irritated at the whole affair and one wrong glance away from crushing some skulls. Meanwhile, Commander Zilyana and the elf Ilfeen were locked in a tense argument. Guarding the entrance to the throne room were the six Barrows Brothers, unmoving and unblinking.

“This place is a powder keg…” Jahaan muttered to Icthlarin, taking note of just how many people here wished to see his head roll.

Nodding, Icthlarin stated, “We mustn’t waste time. Let us enter the throne room.”

Jahaan started to follow him, but then saw two figures out of the corner of his eye, loitering at the far end of the room. “Ah, actually, I have to deal with something first. I’ll meet you in there.”

Accepting this, Icthlarin approached one of the Brothers. Registering him, the six of them stepped aside, and the large throne room doors creaked upon, allowing Icthlarin passage.

Zemouregal seemed to take umbrage to this. “Now Icthlarin’s allowed in?! I’ve had enough of this - get out of my way!”

Zemouregal attempted to force his way past Guthan, but as soon as he took a forceful stride forwards, he was thrown halfway across the room. Not by Guthan, mind you. More like he was repelled by the shadows themselves, an energy force field that created a solid wall of ‘fuck you’.

A strange laugh echoed across the chamber. “HAHA! Access: DENIED!”

Picking himself off the floor, embarrassed and seething, Zemouregal shouted, “Enough of this madness! Let me in, Sliske!”

While Jahaan managed to contain his laughter, albeit barely, the rest of the room erupted into a vast range of quaint giggles to roaring, bellowing laughter. If Mahjarrat could blush, Zemouregal would have turned six shades darker by now.

The throne room of the Empyrean Citadel wasn’t large in size, but it crammed in enough decadence in such a small space to make up for it. The walls were the purest marble, white and perfect, without a single scratch on them. Cyan Rune ore bordered the marble, bridging between the patterned tiled floors and the edge of the walls, as a skirting board, if you will. A beautifully woven red carpet led from the sturdy elderwood door to the winged black and gold throne, currently vacant. There was no roof, nor glass for the windows, allowing the brilliant clear skies to pour and seep natural light among the occupants of the chamber. Two empty black bird cages flanked the throne.

Floating slightly up from the floor were stone podiums; light alone carved symbols onto the red bases of the hovering structures.

They were the symbols of the gods.

However, only half of the podiums were taken, but they were filled by the most prolific gods in Gielinor.

Saradomin, the God of Order, stood defiantly on his podium, his magnificent white armour glowing in the sunlight. A gold and diamond two tiered crown sat atop his blue-skinned head - the Crown Archival, one of the twelve Elder Artefacts. On his chest plate was printed the symbol of his religion - a four-pointed star.

His white, pupilless eyes pierced daggers through the being stood across the room.

“You claim your acts are not senseless,” he was arguing, “and yet you tried to massacre the people of Falador with an undead army!”

Wow, a LOT had happened after the war...

“Oh, shut up, Saradomin. My general went rogue. Shit happens. Get over it,” Zamorak, the God of Chaos, protested, his crimson pointed wings stretching outwards. He’d clearly recovered from the aftermath of the Battle of Lumbridge - there wasn’t a wound to be seen. Divine healing, perhaps?

Saradomin scoffed. “I will not ‘get over it’. If you cannot control your own generals, what type of commander are you? I will defend my people from you at all costs.”

Armadyl, the avian God of Justice, rounded on Saradomin. His amber feathers faded into red in a calming gradient, fluttering in the breeze. “You speak as if you are a benevolent deity, Saradomin, but the violence you incite reveals your true nature, and your hypocritical ways.”

Bandos, the God of War, grunted. His large stature and green skin was covered head to toe in brown stone armour. “You need war, like Bandos. You crave war. You all do.”

At this, the imposing doors creaked open, another figure stepped through into the chamber.

Saradomin crinkled his brow, confused. “Icthlarin?”

“Damn, this dog has strayed far from his home,” Zamorak commented, a mocking overtone to his words.

“I see Sliske has managed to bend you all to his will too, then,” Icthlarin groaned, ignoring Zamorak entirely.

Bandos huffed. “Bandos thought only mightiest of gods invited. Why is little dog here?”

“I am a god, and the recipient of an invitation, same as you. We must be wary of Sliske’s plot.”

“Know your place, Icthlarin,” Saradomin warned, his chest pushed out and his head held high. “You would be a fool to believe yourself wiser than I.”

Armadyl rolled his eyes. “At least he doesn’t have your arrogance, Saradomin. I, for one, and thankful for the presence of another level head.”

Bandos growled, “You are arrogant, bird-man. And you, dog, you have the nerve to think you can warn us? Warn the mighty Bandos?!”

“Take my words as you will. It doesn’t change the fact that we all stand here, manipulated by the snake,” Icthlarin pointed out, taking his place on the podium with his symbol on it, though it was on the back row, behind the others.

Zamorak sniffed a laugh. “Please. I came because I wanted to. I wasn’t going to miss this.”

“Understandable. Like Sliske, you are of the Mahjarrat,” Icthlarin pointed out. “He knew you would come to watch another of your kind ascend. He just had to ask. It is the rest of us, I’m afraid, that have been manipulated.”

Bandos roared a mighty laugh. “You think Bandos manipulated? Amusing little dog. Sliske made promise to Bandos, and promise mean Bandos come.”

Armadyl rolled his eyes, muttering, “Ah yes, I wonder what that promise was…”

“Hush, bird-man. Sliske promise Bandos you would all be here. Sliske promised Bandos WAR. You will ALL fall!”

Saradomin raised his chin, sticking it out with pride and defiance that his ego commanded. “Ha! Try me. You know what I’m capable of.”

“Not capable of seeing through Sliske’s deception, though...” Armadyl noted, pointedly.

“Unless my eyes deceive me, I see you stood here the same as me, Armadyl.”

“This is my citadel!” Armadyl snapped back. “I will not stand idly by while Sliske intrudes upon the ancient home of my people!”

Zamorak turned his attention to Icthlarin. “And what about you, then? Just happy to receive an invitation, were you?”

“The snake has kidnapped Death. What is the god of the Underworld without Death?”

Zamorak laughed derisively. “Haha! So you’ve come to save your princess, huh?”

Bandos joined in on the fun. “The dog comes to fetch his bones.”

“Enough!” Icthlarin cut through their mocking, sharply. “Sliske will be enjoying this, us turning on one another. Shall we set aside our differences until this madness has come to a conclusion?”

“Icthlarin’s right,” Armadyl stepped forward. “We’ve all been summoned here for a reason. Here we stand, the most gods in a single space since The First Age. Let us focus our attention on Sliske, not squabbling like mortals.”

Meanwhile...

Jahaan had noticed Azzanadra and Wahisietel among the present company and was torn on whether to approach them and potentially face the wrath of Azzanadra. The fact Wahisietel was there did help matters, for Jahaan knew he had an ally in Ali the Wise, but it still took a lot of internal encouragement to put one foot in front of the other.

Just… water under the bridge… Jahaan tried to reassure himself, faltering as he caught Azzanadra’s eyeline.

Huffing, he concluded that there was ‘no time like the present’ and stepped close enough to greet them. “Wahisietel. Azzanadra.”

“Jahaan,” Wahisietel said the name warmly, while Azzanadra echoed it with a hint of bitterness that was ill-concealed.

Wahisietel, obviously irritated by the awkward silence that followed, nudged his Mahjarrat companion, urging a reluctant Azzanadra to speak.

Purple eyes peered down into Jahaan’s green ones. “I was disappointed by your actions in Guthix’s chamber, Jahaan. I had faith in you. I thought you would trust me over those Guthixians. However... it took some... convincing…” his eyes lingered on Wahisietel as he struggled to get the words out. “But I see now why you acted as you did. Zaros has not yet proven himself to you, and the Guthuxians had flooded your mind with their propaganda. I was not pleased, but I forgive you.”

He offered a hand out to Jahaan, one large enough to engulf the human’s with ease. Nevertheless, a relieved Jahaan took it gladly. “Thanks, Azzanadra. I’m sorry it all had to happen the way it did.”

“As am I, but we shall speak no more of it.”

More than content with this, Jahaan happily changed the topic. “So, did Sliske invite you?”

“He did not,” Azzanadra grumbled. “As fellow Zarosian Mahjarrat, we believed he would welcome us inside.”

Wahisietel added, “It would seem only the gods themselves were deemed worthy of invitations. These undead brothers refuse our entry.”

Azzanadra gravely remarked, “With such powerful beings gathered here, it is only a matter of time until someone breaks in…”

“...And it will take more than some of Sliske's wights to stop them,” Wahisietel finished, scanning the room with a calculated glare.

Something sparked in Jahaan’s mind, a forgotten detail Azzanadra had accidentally jogged to the forefront of his memory. “Wait, Sliske’s a Zarosian?”

“Ha. ‘Was’ might be a more apt term…” Wahisietel grumbled. “He has always been selfish. Now he has the arrogance to claim godhood? I seriously doubt his loyalty to the Empty Lord.”

Azzanadra didn’t seem to have Wahisietel’s conviction, despite his own devotion to the Empty Lord and disdain for those who defy him, something Jahaan knew first hand.

Thus, his rebuttal was weak and mumbled. “Sliske has his own methods Wahisietel. We do not know the extent of his loyalty…”

“I do not know why you still desire to trust him, Azzanadra,” Wahisietel shook his head, his features a picture of disappointment and worry.

Hiding his fretting well enough, Azzanadra sternly maintained, “We have no way of knowing if he is still loyal to Zaros; Sliske has always played his cards close to his chest.”

“Do you believe he has ascended to godhood?” Jahaan inquired.

“It would seem he has completed the steps to become a god,” the words didn’t come to Azzanadra easily, like he was walking on foreign soil. “But I do not believe that he has truly ascended. Not yet, that is.”

Wahisietel was quick to jump in, “What we believe is irrelevant - what we know is important. Sliske is not only mischievous, but he is also dangerous,” he sniffed a humourless laugh. “I'm not even sure he trusts himself.”

“Why, If it isn’t the World Guardian!”

The rough, growling voice startled Jahaan; he shot around, seeing Zemouregal was making a b-line straight towards him. Wahisietel and Azzanadra shifted their stances ever so subtly, not wanting to alert the entire room they were preparing themselves for a fight, if Zemouregal instigated one. Enakhra tailed behind him.

Taking that Zemouregal had a good foot on him, towering over Jahaan like he were an infant, it was hard not to be intimidated by the armoured Mahjarrat. After barely scraping by his last encounter with Zemouregal - it was the Mahjarrat’s pride and ego that ultimately led to his defeat - Jahaan didn’t fancy his chances on a second go-around, especially with Enakhra backing him. Even with Azzanadra and Wahisietel as back-up, if a conflict arose, who’s to say General Graardor wouldn’t muck in on the action, or Commander Zilyana wouldn’t settle an old score from Guthix’s chamber?

He knew he had a lot of enemies here, and wanted to antagonise none of them.

But it was oh-so tempting to rub in Zemouregal's defeat at his hands, right in front of everybody...

“What are you doing here, mortal?” Zemouregal's derisively asked. “Got tired of baking pies or cutting trees, or whatever it is your kind do for fun.”

“I could ask you the same question,” Wahisietel cut Jahaan’s response off before he could say something they all would, inevitably, regret.

“We have come to deal with that filthy Zarosian - Sliske - once and for all,” Zemouregal declared, sneering up at Azzanadra, making sure the insult wasn’t lost on present company. In return, Azzanadra squared up to him and countered, “I don’t see you doing a very job of getting in. Those wights of his a little too formidable for you, Zemouregal?”

Hissing a curse word coarse on Jahaan’s mortal ears, Zemouregal sized up to Azzanadra; their noses were practically touching at this point.

“Enough, Zemouregal,” Enakhra, surprisingly, was the volunteer ‘voice of reason’, cautious of the attention they were gathering from the followers of other gods. “There will be time enough for this. There are more pressing matters at hand. Sliske,” she spat the word like poison. “is claiming ascension? Please. Zamorak walked that path many years ago. He was worthy of the title.”

“Sliske isn’t half the Mahjarrat our master is,” Zemouregal finished, haughtily.

“Which still makes him twice the Mahjarrat you are…” Jahaan couldn’t help but mumble under his breath, earning a snicker-turned-cough from Azzanadra. Oh come on, he walked RIGHT into that one…

Zemouregal, on the other hand, did not see the funny side. “What was that, human?!”

“Enough!” Enakhra was, once again, the one to ease the icy tension of the room. Nevertheless, her frustration did seem to be catching up to her, her forehead creased like crumbled papyrus. “I can’t stand your company any longer. Sliske cannot claim godhood without us having something to say about it,” she growled, turning tail and storming off across the citadel hall. Admittedly, it wasn’t a large expanse of space, so she looked akin to a sulking child running off to grumble in the corner.

After one pronounced and threatening look to Jahaan, his steely glare reading him a death sentence, Zemouregal parted as well.

Stretching out the kinks in his neck and rolling his aching shoulders, Jahaan remarked, “I don’t think Zemouregal’s going to take it well when I’m allowed through…”

This caused Wahisietel to pause. “You have an invitation?”

“More like I’m Icthlarin’s plus one,” Jahaan surmised, figuring Sliske would have likely ascended by the time he explained the whole spiel to them. “Speaking of, I don’t think I can delay the inevitable much longer…”

Wahisietel placed a comforting hand on Jahaan’s shoulder. “Good luck in there, World Guardian.”

Azzanadra placed a large palm on Jahaan’s other shoulder, an unusual display of affection for the forbidding Mahjarrat. “You have our support.”

Inside the throne room...

“...There is no place for your theory of chaos in a peaceful world,” Armadyl was stating, assertively. “Only the just will persevere.”

Zamorak challenged, “Oh for fuck’s sake, Armadyl. All you do is TALK. You never DO. I say less talking, more action.”

Bandos roared with laughter, clapping his giant hands together. The force of the shockwaves created could be felt across the room. “Yes, fight! Bandos would enjoy watching you rip pieces off each other!”

Suddenly, a voice echoed around the chamber. “Now now, children, settle down…”

The gods looked amongst themselves, high and low, before a flash of grey smoke revealed Sliske, entering with a theatrical flourish, before standing confidently in front of the throne.

Saradomin clenched his fist. “Do not presume that I won’t kill you where you stand, Sliske.”

“Indeed,” Armadyl concurred, “What if your claims of great power are no more tangible than the smoke that brought you here?”

“I thought you might say that. Well, in as many words...” Sliske rubbed his palms together, his smile spreading into a devilish grin. “So I brought a little surprise for you all. Try not to get too excited!”

With a click of his fingers, the cages beside the throne became bathed in smoke and mist. Once it ebbed away into the nothingness, two figures could be seen inside.

“To my right, the one and only… DEATH!” Sliske announced with a grand wave of his arm. “And to my left, the ferocious dragonkin… Strisath! I know, I know, I impress even myself sometimes. You may hold your applause.”

“Pah!” Bandos spat. “What makes you think your new toys will stop Bandos from crushing you?”

Armadyl piped up, “Gods, we could put an end to this lunacy right now.”

“Ah ah ah, slow down, everyone,” Sliske calmed them, taking a seat on the throne behind him. The act made Armadyl twitch. “Let us think about this. What would happen to your mortal followers if I were to kill Death itself, I wonder?”

“You wouldn’t dare!” Icthlarin barked, fire in his eyes.

“Wouldn't I?” Sliske’s eyebrows raised in challenge. “Even if that wasn’t enough to put you off, how about I release Strisath? His power has been quite formidable lately…”

Saradomin’s eyes narrowed. “Someone's been using the Stone of Jas.”

Sliske smiled, innocently. “Perhaps. Now, if any of you would like to take the risk, be my guest. Anyone? No? I thought not. Now, where were we?”

“Let Death out of the cage!” Icthlarin demanded, his fury barely containable, and he was barely able to hold himself back, until the creaking of the large door snapped his mind back into sanity.

Jahaan strode through the large doorway into the marble chamber, his eyes briefly clocking and noting down the present gods before his eyes fell upon Sliske.

“Well well, the guest of honour has arrived,” Sliske drawled. “You’re late.”

Icthlarin nodded to him, a small smile of relief breaking up his features. “Welcome, friend.”

Bandos, instead, was incredulous. “What is this pathetic human doing here?”

“He is the infamous World Guardian,” Sliske explained. “What’s the matter, Bandos? Jealous?”

Jahaan held his chin high as he walked further down the red carpet, settling himself between two of the god’s podiums, a smile dancing on his lips.

Zamorak scoffed. “And how did you get an invitation? Make one in an arts and crafts class?”

“He has more right to be here than you, weakling,” Saradomin countered, his eyes flashing with an open challenge. Before Zamorak could accept - which he would have gladly done - Sliske cut in, “Moving on! You are just in time for the main event: my ascension into godhood! Are you all sitting comfortably?”

Zamorak’s patience was wearing thin. “Get on with it then, charlatan!”

Sliske could only laugh. “Ooo feisty! ‘Charlatan’, he says, coming from the usurper and backstabber himself. I’ll let it slide - I can see you’re all desperate to know what this is about. You see, I happened across a couple of artifacts… of the Elder variety.”

Armadyl was quick to vocalize, “The Elder God Artefacts are not mere playthings for your amusement, Sliske. They are incredibly dangerous!”

“Yes, yes. You’d only need to ask a certain deceased god to figure that out. Oh, sorry - too soon? Ah, but I have not only managed to acquire your staff, Armadyl, but also... the Stone of Jas.”

“Bullshit!” Zamorak spat. “There is no proof you have the Stone!”

Sliske replied with a coy smirk, “You think I just go around kidnapping dragonkin for fun?”

Said dragonkin, Strisath, barked, “Arg! You will pay for this, False User!”

“Angry little darling, isn’t he?” Sliske chuckled, regarding the caged dragonkin with amusement.

Saradomin’s eyes narrowed. “You are not worthy of the power the Stone possesses, Sliske. It could be used to remove all the gods from Gielinor, as Guthix once did.”

“Then you better be careful, eh Sara?”

Armadyl shook his head. “Need I remind you, Sliske, that as your own power increases, as does the power of the dragonkin. The monstrous creatures obliterated the planet neighbouring my homeworld. The longer you play with fire, Sliske, the longer they will burn you for it.”

Jahaan regarded the increasingly rageful dragonkin with trepidation, only taking mild comfort from the fact there were two gods closer to it than he was. Gulping down his fear, he turned back to Sliske and asked, “How did you capture the dragonkin, anyway? And the Staff… how’d you get your hands on it?”

Sliske clapped his hands together with glee. “Now, this really was quite clever of me. See, dragonkin are awfully predictable as a species. It didn’t take much for me to lure Strisath into the Shadow Realm. In he came, charging like a big scaly canine, and what does he bring with him? Why, the Staff of Armadyl! I couldn’t believe my luck! He was its guard at the time, and I suppose he couldn’t leave it unattended when he came after me, but still… a bit daft, wasn’t it Strisath? Not only did he trap himself in the Shadow Realm, he brought the Staff straight to me.”

“The Staff isn’t yours, you scoundrel,” Armadyl spat. “The clue is in the title - the Staff belongs to ME.”

“Oh, give it a rest, you little bird,” Bandos cut in, “You are weak. The Staff should belong to Bandos.”

Ignoring the two bickering Gods arguing over his head, Jahaan said, “I helped with this intricate teleportation… thing… to get rid of the Stone. How did you find it?”

“Oh, yes - an ingenious plan of yours, I must say, the way you disposed of the Stone. It took an even more ingenious plan to outplay you there. I wish I could take credit for it, but I had a little help. See, I've been told that the Staff of Armadyl is an extremely versatile tool. With Strisath imprisoned, I used the Staff to reveal his connection to the Stone, guiding me towards it. Annoyingly, it was frozen in ice beneath the Temple of the Lost Ancients. To say it wasn't easy to retrieve it is putting it mildly.”

Jahaan was still hung up on this ‘'little help’ Sliske spoke of, but before he could question him, an agitated Icthlarin spoke up, “You brought us here for your ascension. Have you achieved godhood or not?”

“Ahaha! You really believe I brought you here so you could have answers? No, no, no - there will be no ascendancy today. That might have been a little white lie, a ruse to get you all here. It's time for the real announcement: I am holding a contest. A free-for-all, you might say. A battle of the gods!”

Zamorak scoffed and shook his head. “This is ridiculous, even for you, and the bar is LOW.”

Saradomin added, “If you think we will be a part of your games, you have truly lost your mind, Sliske.”

“You really are no fun at all, are you Saradomin?” Sliske frowned. “It's not so much a game - more survival of the fittest. There is only one rule, you see. It is not long now until our moon - Zanaris - passes the sun, resulting in a total eclipse. Gielinor will be engulfed in shadow. It is at this exact moment the contest will end… and the winner will be the person who has killed the most gods.”

Bandos’ face morphed into something resembling a grin, one full of bloodlust and anticipation. “Haha! Finally you say something interesting!”

Saradomin cut him down, “Be quiet and let the intellectuals talk, you brute.”

Armadyl rounded on Sliske. “Why would any of us listen to you, you madman?”

“Because, Armadyl, there’s a prize. One little prize I think you all might be interested in. When the sun is eclipsed and most of you are defeated, to the one that stands victorious I will gift… the Stone of Jas.”

Instantly, the gods were in uproar, cursing and speaking over one another in a frenzy.

“This is ludicrous!”

“This will cause an all-out war between the gods, like the ones seen in the Third Age!”

“You’re insane, Sliske!”

“Don’t believe a word that comes out of this rogue’s mouth!”

“Do you have any idea what this will do to the world? To all of us?!” Saradomin exclaimed, his fists clenching in tight balls.

“What's the matter? Scared Bandos will crush you?” Sliske taunted, menacingly. “Maybe you should be more tactical, you know? Pick off the weaker gods first…” he then turned his attention to Jahaan, who had been rather quiet in the foray. “And what about our honourable guest? How do you feel about this, World Guardian?”

With a deep breath and courage he was only half sure he had, given the present company, Jahaan pronounced, “Icthlarin’s right. We shouldn't trust a word out of Sliske’s mouth. He’s just going to deceive us again.”

“The mortal is correct,” Armadyl declared. “We must not listen to Sliske. We must seek peace through justice.”

“Shut your beak, coward,” Bandos snarled. “Bandos can smell fear. All of you will fall before the mighty war god Bandos!”

“Even if you have become a god, Sliske, you are merely a fledgling,” Saradomin was quick to point out. “You do not have the right to enforce this!”

“Silence!” Sliske cried, rising from the throne with a start. “This petty arguing is becoming irritating. If you won't do it, then I'll kick things off myself…”

Suddenly, Sliske threw a charge of dark energy at Icthlarin, who from the force of the blast was knocked off his podium and to the ground. Before Jahaan could register what was happening, Sliske tossed the key to Death’s cage at him and, with a malicious glint in his eyes, unlocked the dragonkin’s cage.

“Ta-ta!” Sliske cheered before teleporting away, just as the dragonkin lunged for him.

In a manic fury, Strisath reared onto his hind legs, his dagger-like teeth glinting in the sunlight. With a mighty roar, he inhaled deeply and breathed out a scolding stream of fire at Icthlarin. Fortunately, the demigod managed to stumble to his feet in time and shield himself and Jahaan behind a green barrier of energy.

“Why did he give you the key?!” Icthlarin asked in crazed confusion, struggling under the weight of the dragonkin’s fire.

“I don’t know!” Jahaan cried in response.

Strisath then turned his attention to the other gods, sending fire around the room without prejudice, causing the gods to teleport away from the dangerous dragonkin.

Just as another fireball was sent his way, Icthlarin urged. “Go and release Death. I don’t know how long I can hold this barrier…”

With a firm nod of his head, Jahaan made towards to cage. But without the other gods for distraction, Strisath focused his fire on Jahaan. The young man dove to the ground just as a fireball careered over his head, crumbling the marble pillar it came into contact with. To give him the chance he needed to release Death, Icthlarin threw small, irritating bolts of energy at Strisath, just to hold his focus long enough for Jahaan to unlock the cage containing Death.

When he did, Death and Jahaan hurried back behind the protection of Icthlarin’s shield, but the demigod was struggling. “I don’t think I can hold it!”

Once the next fireball hit, the shield crumbled and Icthlarin fell to the ground, panting and gasping for air. He looked up at Death, who used a blue ball of energy to bring forth his Scythe and, just as the next fireball was released towards them, he teleported himself, Icthlarin and Jahaan away.

They returned close to the spot Icthlarin and Jahaan had departed from, Brother Samuel close by. He had acquired a shovel, likely from one of the many tool leprechauns tending to nearby farming patches, and had dug three graves to bury the corpses. A few flowers torn from around the area were placed on top of each mound.

When he saw the return of Jahaan, Icthlarin and Death, he hurried over to them.

“You’re back!” he exclaimed. “Did you bring this Sliske character to justice? And OH-” he regarded Death with the same look a child gives an ogre. “U-Um, hello? You must be Death.”

“Greetings, mortal,” Death addressed. “I am sorry for the loss of your brothers. They are safe in my domain now, and shall rest in peace.”

“Thank you,” Brother Samuel relaxed slightly. “And this Sliske?”

Jahaan regretfully informed, “I’m afraid it wasn’t as easy as that. He had many bargaining chips, to put it simply.”

“But… but he’s a murderer…” Brother Samuel whimpered, his downcast eyes falling upon the graves of his comrades.

It was Icthlarin who put a reassuring hand on the man’s shoulder, saying, “Do not fear, mortal. He will be brought to justice. You have my word.”

There was always a gravitas inside Icthlarin’s tone, a voice you could trust with both a promise and a threat, and he spoke both inside his words to Brother Samuel.

“Thank you, Iccy-larin,” Brother Samuel attempted; Icthlarin bit his tongue, deciding it wasn’t the right moment to correct the man. “And thank you all - I am eternally grateful. But now, I will continue my journey onwards now that I know the souls of my brothers are safe. I must inform their loved ones. Farewell.”

After saying their goodbyes, Brother Samuel departed north, carrying the backpacks of his fallen brothers alongside his own.

Death, standing almost two feet above them both, looked down upon Jahaan and Icthlarin and said, “My absence will have consequences. I have to return to my duties; there is an abundance of souls to be reaped. Thank you, my friends. Without you, I may have never escaped.”

“Farewell, Harold,” Icthlarin waved as Death used his scythe to teleport away.

Harold? Jahaan tried not to chuckle, instead asking, “So what will you do now, Icthlarin?”

“There is much work to be done. I have duties to attend to in the Underworld. However, we must be cautious. Gods will fall in the coming days. The Stone of Jas is too powerful to be ignored. Some may fight, some may go for Sliske, some may employ other tactics. But everyone will want the Stone. We could be facing the start of the next God Wars. Even mortals may try to win the Stone,” he put a hand on Jahaan’s shoulder, and using that same solid tone he used on Brother Samuel, said, “Make no mistake, my friend. These are grave times, and we all have a part to play. Clearly Sliske has taken an interest in you. As a World Guardian, your choices could decide the fates of the gods themselves. This is the most pivotal event to have occurred for thousands of years. The consequences will shape a new future.”

Jahaan let out a shaky breath. “No pressure then.”

“I have one last thing to discuss with you before we part ways,” Icthlarin said. “When a person’s life on Gielinor comes to an end, their soul enters my domain. There, I guide them to the afterlife of the deity they worshipped in life.”

“But what about those that are godless?” Jahaan queried. “Where do they go?”

Icthlarin explained, “For those souls, I meet them at the bridge over the River Noumenon, and ask them to decide. They can choose in that moment to cross into the afterlife of a deity they have at least some tangible connection to. Another option is to live on in death, acting as my helpers, to protect souls from The Devourer as I guide them to the afterlife. Otherwise… they cease to be.”

Jahaan furrowed his brow, warily asking, “What do you mean, ‘cease to be’?”

With a hint of trouble in his eyes, Icthlarin continued, “If a soul does not decide upon a destination, I cannot compel it to an afterlife against its will. The Devourer will claim those souls, their existence erased from the Underworld.”

Shaking his head, trying to comprehend this information, Jahaan said, “Okay, but… why are you telling me all this? Why now?”

“You aided me in rescuing Death,” Icthlarin replied, “In return, I thought I would inform you of this, and tell you that, as of now, you have no set destination in the afterlife. While I do not know when you shall pass - that knowledge only resides with the Reaper - I wanted to allow you the opportunity to contemplate your fate, instead of deciding at the last possible moment, as so many poor souls have to do.”

Understanding now, Jahaan smiled warmly and gave the jackal-headed deity a small, humble bow. “Thanks, Icthlarin.”

It was hard to tell due to the nature of his features, but Icthlarin appeared to be smiling back before saying, “Now, I have my duties to attend to in the Underworld. I hope we meet again in this life, my friend.”

Jahaan watched him go with a sigh. Now what?

Readjusting his backpack, making it slightly more comfortable on his shoulders, he just started walking, but west this time.

Perhaps I will try and walk to Prifddinas, he mused, his pace an amble, not a march.

But what Jahaan didn't realise was that, as he ambled on, the world was falling apart behind him.

DISCLAIMER:

As Of Gods and Men is a reimagining, retelling and reworking of the Sixth Age, a LOT of dialogue/characters/plotlines/etc. are pulled right from the game itself, and this belongs to Jagex.

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#sliske #zamorak #saradomin #armadyl #bandos #azzanadra #wahisietel #zemouregal #icthlarin #runescape #fiction

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easterlingwanderer · 7 years

Text

Stories in the Dark

I don’t remember arriving at the Dark Fortress. I remember the Day of Giving. And I remember *being* here. And I remember the stories…

Voices in the reddish darkness, gruff and guttural as the language that reverberates into the corridors of stones. Scent of tallow candles and unwashed bodies and the faint smell of coal. Small pebbles under my feet. I walk silently in the corridor, sitting just behind the bend, hidden by a spike of rock and I listen, my knees under my chin, my skin dark against the darkness.

“Once, we were mighty. Yes, the mightiest of all. So powerful we were, so strong, that That One feared us, our power, and our strength. He spoke to his servants and said "We cannot have them so powerful, so mighty, because they may come and take stuff that is only for my Beloved Firsts." and his Servants all agreed with him because they were puny and weak. And That One then smiled and said. "I know what I'll do. Yes I do. I'll make their time on the World small, so they can't grow in power, and the most beautiful of them I'll change to be hideous so they'll know I, One, am the Strongest of All". And so it was. And so it was, and so now the Orcs are as we are and both us and Man can't live forever as the Other Ones.”

"But Gazog, if we were so powerful why couldn't we stop it?"

Another voice, of the same kind, but softer, not yet scarred. I look unseeing in front of me.

"Because it was done by treachery. We were faithful to That One you see. We didn't expect it, not then."

"Tell us how the Master came to save us!" A third voice, piping and rasping at once. I look at the ceiling, rough grey stone blackened by soot and wait.

"Ah... The Master. The One Lord. You see, once That One had took our power and beauty and strength from us, we were slowly dying in great pain, all of us men and women and children, Orcs and Men alike. But the Master came, and he healed us as much as possible and promised us that once we are victorious we shall be as we were. One day."

"One day."

As they chant the words, I stand up and get back down the corridor, one hand slightly on the wall. I feel a small spider scuttling away, I snatch it and chew it, the feeling of many tiny legs tickling my lips.

Behind me, the old Orc is telling another tale. I do not stop to listen.

"...And then the Other Powers looked at us, we who were beautiful and strong and mighty, and feared for their Favourites. Truly, they spoke among themselves, these Children of Melkor are too strong. What if their children grow in power beyond our Beloved? Our creatures, which we nurtured and cared for? So they concocted a plan, to destroy us all. But our Creator and Master heard them, and fought them all for us. But even if he was the most powerful they were many, and as such, while they did not succeed in killing us all, Tjar and Mew managed to steal the immortality our Master has given us. And so we and our Master still fight the Beloved of the Other Powers and their Servants. For they fear us, once we come to our full power."

The ceiling is polished metal, still blackened by the soot that coated everything. The voice is mellower, the language less sharp, less gurgling. I stand at the window, now, looking inside the barrack where the old, gnarled Easterling speaks to the swarthy children, their hair black as their black eyes as their bodies, darkened by coal dust. The light inside the building is almost painful, a fire and several candles lit to show the stark place, the several small pallets on the ground, and the silhouette of the narrator casting a shadow on the young pupils. The air smells like fire and metal and coal, and like the scent of the tanned leather the Easterlings wear.

I sit under the windows, my legs in front of me and watched the clouded sky above. I do not go to them, even if I could.

I close my eyes as the first oily drops hit me, but kept my face tilted upward. Rain comes, and hail, and they hit me on my legs and face and shoulders, drowning away the voice of the teller of stories. I listen to the sound of rain upon the rock, of ice splitting in endless shards all around me. It smells like acid rain and sharp ice.

It is a long time before I stand up to leave, to go gathering lichen or moss or mushroom.

But I do not listen to more tales.

#WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN NOTHING YOU DO MATTER : THE WANDERER #{tales in darkness ^ a life in angband}

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radioactivepeasant · 7 years

Text

Glimpses III

Another moment in the “Imperial Problem Child” series

3. Match

The circumstances of the Princess’s capture had seemed off to him from the beginning. Although there was every indication that the operation on Sy Myrth had been established some months ago, and the Rebels had fought violently to defend it, the end of the battle had seemed suspicious. The moment the Princess was captured, the Rebels turned tail and fled, abandoning the Sy Myrth base. Odd. And not in keeping with previous experiences. There weren’t even any parting shots as the Rebels retreated.

More curious than anything else, Grand Admiral Thrawn had the Princess brought to his office. Her expression was calm, her posture relaxed, but her eyes were calculating.

“Grand Admiral,” she said with a polite dip of her head. “I see that the rumors of your great love of art are not in the slightest bit exaggerated.”

“Princess Organa,” Thrawn made a courteous half bow and smiled thinly. “You have taken a risk, haven’t you?” The human woman had an impressive sabaac face, to be sure, but there was a slight tightening at the corners of her eyes. Yes, he’d interpreted her posture correctly: she was exactly where she wanted to be. The operation on the planet below must have been a sham. A clever one, at that. Thrawn couldn’t help but be slightly impressed by that.

“Considering reports place your intelligence somewhat higher than the usual Imperial, Grand Admiral Mitth’raw’nuruodo, I decided that a little risk was necessary in order to gauge for myself whether you’ve the common sense to go with that intelligence,” Princess Leia indulged a gentle smile and folded her hands calmly.

“Is that so?” Thrawn crossed the room in a few steps, hands clasped behind his back. Rebels had attempted to infiltrate his ships before, and had spent plenty of time escaping his ships. But this was something quite different. The Princess was after something. Very well, he had no pressing engagements of note. He could spare an hour or two to study his opponent.

“Do you play chess, your highness?” he asked casually, and glanced at a compartment in the wall.

“It was a favored pastime of my mother’s,” the Princess answered with a bittersweet expression, “But sadly I have not had the opportunity to play in years.”

Thrawn took an ebony board from the compartment and placed it on his desk. “Well, your highness, as we have some several hours before we reach the nearest Imperial outpost, I wonder if you would indulge me in a game? You clearly have something you mean to say or learn, so I may as well learn something of you in the interim.”

“I would be delighted, sir,” Princess Leia took the chair he offered her and examined the board closely. “And who shall play white?”

“Well, your highness, this is your gambit. I think white for Alderaan is appropriate, don’t you?” Thrawn seated himself across from her with a calculating smile. To her credit, the woman hardly twitched at the reference to her lost world, and Thrawn called for tea to be served.

“Pawn to d4,” the Princess began.

“Knight to f6,” Thrawn answered, and the game was on.

“I imagine,” said the Grand Admiral as he moved his pieces, “That you have come on some matter connected to the rumors that Lord Vader is preparing a coup?”

“You are very well informed -- knight to c3 -- but I notice that you do not seem particularly concerned by this rumor. Do you believe that Lord Vader is not a threat to the Emperor?”

“Pawn to d5. On the contrary, my dear lady. I have a tremendous respect for your friend Skywalker’s father. He could be a very great threat to the Emperor, if only he had the patience for it.” Thrawn took note of where the Princess moved her queen and took one of her pawns. “But perhaps I am merely lackadaisical about it all. The Empire will be shaken, surely, and shall either emerge stronger, or shall weaken and be replaced with something stronger. My....skin in this game...as some might say, is minimal.”

Leia twirled the queen piece between her fingers a moment before taking Thrawn’s pawn with it. She doubted very much that he was as uninterested as he claimed. She had read up on the Chiss: he had encountered Anakin Skywalker before, seeking an alliance with the Republic, but changed his mind and later allied with the Empire. For all his claims of exile, there were some -- Leia included -- who suspected that Thrawn was playing a longer game, one to do with the threat supposedly growing in the Unknown Regions.

“He does indeed have his moments of rashness. They have led him to appalling lapses in judgment and terrible sins,” Leia agreed, and for a moment her sleeve caught on the edge of the desk, revealing the faintest mark of a needle scar against her arm. “But I think you’ll find, Admiral, that in recent years he has become a more subtle man than either of us would have thought possible.”

Thrawn moved a bishop to g7 and narrowed his eyes in thought. “The absorption of the Rogue Squadron into the Executor’s forces, among other rumors, does suggest a broader plan at work. I am surprised that he would form any kind of alliance with the Rebellion, but the sheer absurdity of the thought would make a decent cover, I expect. Ah! The tea.”

He stood and took a covered tray from the droid that had brought it and set out two delicate cups, crafted on Naboo.

“Please, allow me,” the Princess beamed and took the pot from him.

Ah, now this was another calculated move. He remembered reading that on Alderaan, traditionally tea was served by the individual with the higher rank or social status, symbolic of a leader being a servant of the people first. The Princess was making their respective positions abundantly clear.

They were sixteen moves into the game now and the Princess had just taken his knight with a bishop. “Grand Admiral, were you to find yourself in the position of being forced to choose to side with either Emperor Palpatine or Lord Vader as a candidate for the throne, could you say with any degree of certainty which you might support?”

“Queen takes bishop,” Thrawn murmured, and sipped his tea. He leaned back. “That the last princess of Alderaan should have come to the point of lobbying for a man that she hates suggests that the Rebellion is, at the least, struggling. Or is it because Vader is the father of your friend, Skywalker? But no, you are not the sort of person to let something as simple as that change your mind.”

“No indeed. Knight takes pawn.” The Princess’s eyes flashed. “I think you underestimate the Alliance, Grand Admiral. It would not be the first time you have done so, but I had thought you might have learned better by now.”

“Indeed? And how, pray tell, does supporting Vader bring you closer to your goal of restoring the bloated ineffectiveness of the Republic?”

Leia smiled the same, thin smile that Thrawn had worn earlier. “Why, my dear Grand Admiral, it is all strategy. One must have plans, after all.”

Thrawn closed his eyes and thought a moment. Supposing the Rebellion failed and was defeated, if Vader were to succeed Palpatine as emperor, that might mean fewer members of the Rebellion were executed. Though this would surely not have been the case even a year ago, and was clearly dependent on the boy, Skywalker, to work. Or perhaps Organa and the Rebellion intended to use Skywalker as a plant within the Empire, not unlike his own role in the service on the Chiss Ascendancy, to strengthen or weaken his father’s organization as he saw fit. Yes, played that way, he could understand the Rebellion’s tacit support of Vader, rather than them letting the fight play out as it would.

He moved a pawn to e5 and stroked his chin. “So I see,” he said. “I must confess, for all that I find our Emperor to be a brilliant man, capable of great subtlety and a mastery of the Dark Side of the Force -- yes, I am aware of his...unusual abilities -- I find that in his waning years his mind has grown ever more narrow. And hubris is so often the downfall of even the mightiest men.” Palpatine would not live forever, whatever he thought of the matter. “Considering that, of the two of them, only Lord Vader has an heir, I do wonder that his majesty isn’t taking the rumors of this plot more seriously.”

“As you said, Grand Admiral,” Leia murmured, capturing a bishop with a pawn, “Hubris is often the downfall of even the mightiest men.”

“Quite so,” Thrawn nodded. He took one of her pawns with his own, only to lose it in the next turn to another white pawn. “Admittedly I had put some thought to the problem long before you boarded my ship, but I suspect you were aware that I must have.” He held up the pawn he had lost and stared at it in a contemplative manner. “I am not a sentimental man, your highness, but I suppose I do owe the former Anakin Skywalker some thanks for his part in my appointment as Grand Admiral. If you could perhaps offer some example to show me that he has indeed become more subtle, I might believe he has a chance.”

For a short time, the game continued in silence. The Princess would give him no hints of strategic planning or incriminating evidence, nor had Thrawn really expected her two. Ten more rounds passed, a surprisingly even match between them, before the Princess spoke at last.

“You are, of course, aware of Lord Vader’s son. We have taken pains to make him visible.” She moved her bishop to f4 and looked Thrawn dead in the eye. “This flurry of attention both military and media made it considerably easier for his daughter to pursue her own agenda, out of sight of the public.”

Thrawn moved his queen beside the bishop and leaned back with a wondering expression. “A shadow child?” he asked, noticeably startled. This was a Chiss practice, to keep one child hidden from the public, invisible, to preserve the bloodline in case some tragic accident or assassination should claim the lives of their siblings and parents.

Of course, this had not been on the minds of anyone involved in the hiding of the Skywalker Twins twenty-three years ago, but Thrawn had no way of knowing that. Nor could he know that he had just provided Leia with the perfect explanation to give the newshounds for when the truth inevitably came out.

“You would not have thought it to look at me, would you?” Leia asked, easing out of check on the board.

“Perhaps Lord Vader is more patient than I suspected,” Thrawn admitted, “Though if his discovery of your...brother...was as unexpected as reported, then it follows that he was equally unaware of your existence as his daughter.”

“Which does not preclude my own knowledge of the subject.” Leia countered, neglecting to inform Thrawn that her supposed pre-existing knowledge of her relationship to Vader was really only that she had been informed four days before he had.

There were very few pieces left on the board now. Their moves were quicker, almost frenzied. Then, at last, “Checkmate,” Thrawn announced. He smiled. “Well played, Princess, I have not played such a close match in a very long time.”

“It was a near thing,” Leia agreed, and shook the hand he offered her. Both understood that they were speaking of more than the game on the desk before them.

The Chiss pushed back his chair and stood. “I wonder if a larger strategic match might be arranged at some point,” he remarked, almost playfully. “I do enjoy testing my wits against well-known opponents.”

“I expect you shall have plenty of opportunity soon enough,” Leia replied.

“This is true,” Thrawn nodded. “Well then, your highness, I suppose we had better return you to your quarters, hm? I shall arrange for your father to be notified and he can come collect you when he will.”

The Princess was escorted from his office and Thrawn returned to his desk with a satisfied smile. He found himself looking forward to the battle of wits that would inevitably ensue. He was not one to champion the underdog, usually, but this was altogether too intriguing to pass up.

In her cell, Princess Leia grinned fiercely and reached out with her mind for the little thread of light she was just learning to connect to. At Luke’s questioning acknowledgment, she sent a single sentence through their bond. Queen takes Thrawn: check.

#imperial problem child #star wars au #grand admiral thrawn #mitth'raw'nuruodo #princess leia #royal poster child of the rebellion #first time i've ever written thrawn so bear with me #chess #used a transcript of an old chess game

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