#ANYWAY this was put in my drafts months ago I don't even remember what it was about but.. yea... I still agreee with my past self lol

[ky-yk]

stand-in love (jwy x f!reader)

genre: fluff, angst || word count: 1k

author’s note: had this wony x reader fic sitting in my drafts completely empty bc i lost the original idea but thanks to this amazing (AND GAY) episode of love bites suddenly i can write again

you were known for a lot of things.

approachable, charming, and kind, you were everyone’s friend.

you were also quite clever: near perfect test scores, a continuous slew exemplary outputs used by teachers as “examples” for others (not without the scowls of some), and the eloquence that even the brightest minds envied.

you were a rational person. every move you made was calculated.

but you could not, for the life of you, remember what the hell was going through your head when you asked your best friend to be your girlfriend.

for practice.

in your messed-up head, it made perfect sense! you'd never been with a girl before, so why not practice for the real thing? you'd hate to be anything less than the best -- even more so as a girlfriend.

that would just be embarrassing.

so one day, while you and wonyoung were hanging out after class, you decided to pop the question.

"do you wanna go out with me?"

"huh?"

"f--for practice!"

nice save, y/n.

you stumbled over your words and waved your hands around as you tried to explain. "i mean, i've never been with a girl in that way before, you know? i don't wanna mess it up!"

she continued to eye you inquisitively, putting her fork down and leaning back against her seat. "and you think that going on a practice date is gonna help you?"

"it sounds stupid, i know," you sighed, putting your own fork down and leaning back into your seat.

"no no, continue. i wanna know where you were going with this," she urged you with an amused smile.

"you think that me dying alone is funny, wony?! man, what friend you are," you rolled your eyes at the girl while crossing your arms.

she looked at you, eyes wide and jaw dropped in disbelief. "i--didn't even say that?! wah, the gall of this one." it was her turn to roll her eyes.

you shook your head in amusement. "well, i was just thinking that it wouldn't be a good idea to go into it blind, you know? it's like a test; you've gotta be prepared!" you reasoned out.

"you're never beating the overthinker allegations, are you?"

"hey, it's a valid concern!" you semi-yelled defensively.

"i didn't say it was! it's just..."

"just?"

"a little overkill, don't you think? you can't just become the best girlfriend ever by studying or something -- it's not a test," she says.

you frown. "if you don't want to, you could've just said--"

"when did i say that, though?" she cuts you off.

"wait, so you would?"

"i mean, i don't see why not," she shrugs. "besides, you're paying, aren't you?" she asks cheekily.

"in your dreams, jang," you shot back.

"what date you are," she mumbled. you felt a small smile take over your features hearing the pout in her voice.

"anyways, just tell me when and where."

that was six months ago.

and now here you both were, cuddled up on the corner of your friend's couch while everyone else was seated around the coffee table playing some board game.

you looked over at your fake girlfriend, admiring her as she laughed at your friends' shenanigans before you poked her cheek. that seemed to catch her attention as she hums and looks at you like a puppy.

"i'm going to grab something from the kitchen, you want anything?"

"just a water, love," she replied.

"ne," you said taking the blanket that was covering you both off your lap and laying it on her.

once you were out of earshot, the group turned to wonyoung, faces ranging from confusion to surprise.

"love?" rei questioned.

"are you guys actually together, now?" leeseo asked excitedly, prompting gaeul to scoff.

"what do you mean, 'together'? i don't even like girls like that," wonyoung replied.

"sounded a lil too defensive, don't you think?" liz questioned.

"guys, let's stop ganging up on wony," yujin sighed. "that's for her to figure out."

"figure what out?" you asked as you walked into the living room, a glass of water in hand. "here you go, by the way."

"how this game works, y/n," liz chimed in, pulling a new board game out from under the coffee table.

"you wanted to play, wony?" you asked as you took a seat on the arm of the couch, looking down at her.

"nope, was just curious," she answered before she pulled you back into her lap by the waist. "besides, who's gonna keep you warm?" she continued, craning her neck to look up at you, prompting gaeul to fake vomit in the background.

you watched the girls play, unaware of your best friend's stare.

no way did they think we were actually together, did they? are we really that convincing of a couple? i mean, y/n is lovely, that's for sure. she takes care of me well, she's funny, and she's just so cuddly!

best friends think of each other this way, don't they?

slowly but surely, the girls started resigning and heading to their bedrooms for the night, leaving you and wonyoung in the living room.

"well, wanna head in for the night, wony?"

"no, i just wanna stay here for a while," she whispered. you leaned closer to hear her.

"why are you whispering, we're the only ones here," you whispered back. you note the proximity: breaths mingling with each other, noses barely touching, and her long eyelashes that you could individually count.

you also notice how her breathing seemingly quickened.

"no reason," she says, before leaning up and connecting your lips -- only for a second, though.

her eyes were hooded as she looked up at your wide eyes. that must've snapped her back to reality because her own eyes went wide as she moved to push you off her lap.

"wait wait, wony," you urged her but not before she pushed you away.

"i'm sorry, y/n," she whispered before going into her room and leaving you standing wondering what the hell just happened.

#🐻 — ky writes #girl group imagines #ive imagines #ive x reader #jang wonyoung #jang wonyoung x reader #wonyoung #ive wonyoung #wonyoung x reader

[mortal-mayhem]

Amnesia Rules 2.0 - This Shit Again?

Wukong x Reader x Macaque

Warning: Suggestive Themes, typos because I don't have the energy to proof read, I wrote this in discord like months ago.

Notes: I haven't posted in a while, so have this shot that's been sitting in my drafts for like two months. Amnesia rules Macaque, eh? Has a reference to Sweet n Sour Hearts, too.

~

You were just chilling on the sofa when you heard the chatter.

Wukong had asked you to stay put, needing to leave in the middle of your game sesh. Mk messaged him about something and, though he totally CAN read, he figured it'd be easier to handle in person.

So, alone with the monkies, you were left on the mountain to wait. It wasn't so bad. You even got a little nap in.

Eventually, though, Wukong came back. And he had someone with him.

"Good to be back! When did we leave, anyway?"

Is that..?

"For the last time, you- Don't just go in there!"

You saw the door begin to open, two figures standing just outside of it. It shut again, however, and you heard Wukong try to ramble out some sort of threat, but it fizzled out with a sigh.

You didn't pay much attention to the rest of the conversation, standing up with caution. You stepped towards the door, the wood under your feet creaking. The voices stopped.

You heard a small ~woosh~, followed by Wukong yelling 'NO'.

And then you had arms around your waist and a tail trailing up your leg.

"So, this is why you didn't want me in here,~" Macaque spoke, his sultry voice right next to your ear. You tensed up, flinching as the door slammed back open.

The King seemed rather irritated.

"Wukong-?" You spoke, trying to step away from his counterpart. He let you, watching with a mischievous grin and curious eyes. You looked between them both, "What's going on?"

"First name basis already?" Macaque spoke with a playful scoff. You eyed him with confusion, watching his tail flick as he started matching your gaze intently, "Well, that's not fair.~ You got a head start!"

"What...?" You grumbled, eyebrows furrowing at the dark simian as he plopped himself down on the couch, legs spread with his arms draping over the back of it. You pouted, "Macaque, what are you talking about?"

His ears petked up and his smile grew, his tail swaying in delight. His eyes seemed locked on you.

"Oh, so you do know my name," he cooed, "Good.. you'll need it.~"

...

"Wukong, what in the fuck is happening right now?"

Macaque burst into laughter at your blunt, tired tone. The Monkey King, however, was rubbing his eyes in irritation.

"I- Look, remember when Pigl- Pigsy gave me that pepper? During our little journey?"

You flushed, the memory flashing in your mind.

"No, no, no, that won't do. You belong to the Great Sage now, m'kay?~"

"... Vaguely." You lied, looking away out of the corner of your eye.

You stole a glance at Macaque, who was lounging with his eyes closed. His ears, however, were pointed towards you both. He was listening closely.

"Well-" Wukong tossed his hands in the air in exasperation, huffing in frustration as he motioned to his once sworn brother, "Yeah."

"... So... That's why Mk needed you?"

"Nice kid," Macaque interjected before Wukong could speak, making the King glare at his counterpart, "Enough about all this, though-"

You yelped as you felt yourself being yanked forward, Macaque's tail wrapped around your waist as he placed you unceremoniously into his lap. He placed on hand on your hip, opening his eyes to gaze down at you, his fangs extenuating his grin.

"I'm more interested in you, pretty thing.~"

You blinked owlishly, feeling heat slowly rise up your face and to your ears.

"H-.. huh?"

"So where'd he pick you up, hm?" He teased, his other hand reaching to your neck. He used his finger to trail his claw up your neck to your chin, inspecting you with intrigued eyes, "He hasn't brought anyone home before.. You must be special, princess.~"

"Alright, put them down!" Wukong growled, "That's enough!"

The King rushed forward in an attempt to grab you, but you felt a sudden rush of gravity. You sunk into the couch below you with Macaque-

And then popped up onto the lounge chair instead.

This time, however, you were draped over his lap sideways, your legs hanging over the arm rest and his hand resting on your calf. His tail resting around your shoulders now, holding you up in your sitting position so you wouldn't have your back pressed into the other arm rest. You flailed around a bit when you first emerged, but he didn't seem to mind.

"I was right!" The Puppeteer cackled, eyes wide in wonder and amusement. His tail lightly thumped against your shoulder as your eyes darted back and forth.

"About what?!" Wukong loudly spoke in frustration, throwing his hands up.

"You're courting them!"

Macaque laughed as he spoke, his tail retreating from your shoulders so he could instead place his arm over them, tugging you closer. You could only blink in surprise, in confusion, as it all happened. You looked to Wukong for an answer, but he simply avoided your gaze with red cheeks. You felt your face heat up a bif, too.

"Macaque.. Let. Them. Go," Wukong growled, fur bristling.

The charcoal furred simian let out a deep chuckle, using his newly found grip on your shoulder to turn you around. He wrapped his arm around your chest, pulling back into his own while his tail wrapped around your waist. His other hand, now no longer on your leg, trailed up your arm to your neck.

"Oh, Wukong,~" the macaque purred, his hand gently yet firmly grasping your throat, the tips of his claws grazing your skin. You felt your breath catch as you froze up, feelimg the blood rush to your cheeks, "I don't think they mind. Do you, dollface?~"

"I- uhm.. w-what-?"

"Besides- You finally courting someone? Well.."

Macaque placed his chin on your shoulder, making you look at him out of the corner of your eye. He caught your gaze with a sly grin.

"They have got to be interesting.."

~

#lego monkie kid #lmk #lmk sun wukong #lmk x reader #sun wukong #lmk macaque #lego macaque #lmk macaque x reader #lego sun wukong #monkie kid macaque #lmk sun wukong x reader #sun wukong x reader #jttw sun wukong #lmk wukong #wukong x reader #lmk six eared macaque #macaque #macaque x reader #lmk six eared macaque x reader #jttw six eared macaque #six eared macaque #liu er mihou #liu er mihou x reader lmk

[barry-j-blupjeans]

Ise can you write an ise cube about Barry and Lup participating in No Necromancy November

Lup had been going to the kitchen. Honestly! She hadn't been able to sleep- something she was blaming on the giant, ever-screaming squirrels outside her window this cycle- and wanted to make some pancakes. Pancakes made everything better, she was pretty sure. Maybe she could have made a big one and thrown it out at them to get them to shut up for just like, just a second! But instead, she had snuck down the hallway and, accidentally, not on purpose, ended up in the lab.

Was there a big sign on the door telling her not to go in? Yes. Davenport had put it up yesterday after she and Barry had, uh... redecorated the lab with their necromancy experiment. That was barely even necromancy anyway if you went with the textbook definition. Had he asked explicitly that she stay away from the lab for at least a month, or until they found the Light? Yes.

But. But! Lup left... coffee. In there. She left coffee in there. Yes, that's what she was going with.

The lab was dark and Lup didn't bother turning on the light because she had dark vision, anyway. It was only going to be a few seconds. Minutes, maybe, if she struggled to remember where the cup was. But then she came face to face with the whiteboard of the theories she and Barry had drafted out and she couldn't just leave it up there. She had to erase that or Davenport would be upset.

But it'd be a shame to erase it before they were finished. And honestly, it wouldn't take that long. A few minutes, at most! Maybe half an hour, in total.

It must have only been twenty minutes before the door of the lab opened again. Lup immediately stretched across the counter towards her coffee cup- which she was getting to!- covering the project she had been finishing up. It was meant to look like she was just reaching over for the cup, but her arms weren't that long, she was half on the counter with her legs dangling off the side when the light flicked on.

"Just getting my coffee, Dav!" Lup said. But it wasn't Davenport at all.

It was Barry.

He stared at her for a moment. His hair was mussed like he had been tossing and turning in bed. Lup sagged against the counter and started to pull back. Barry seemed to snap out of whatever trance he was in and came further in, carefully shutting the door behind him. Lup, who was now completely off the counter, raised her hand in greeting.

"I, uh," Barry said. "Came to get your coffee. To wash the cup."

"Right," Lup said. "Get a labcoat on, Barold."

"Yeah, okay," Barry said, grabbing one from the hanger near the door. He grabbed a pair of goggles, too. "What'cha working on?"

"Barney," Lup said, showing Barry the dead frog they had collected from outside. One of the giant squirrels had gotten to it and the insides were all ripped up. Two nights ago, Barry had made it a top hat, which it was still wearing.

"Ah," Barry said, getting some gloves too. "Is he tap-dancing yet?"

"Not quite," Lup said. "More of a slow dance. And by slow dance I mean he's literally not moved. I don't know what I'm doing wrong."

"Lemme take a crack at it," Barry said. Lup slid the dish over to him and he squinted at it. Lup leaned back on the counter to watch him.

A bad thing about being secretly in love with someone is that Lup did just tune out everything else around her when she was watching him. One time, Taako had just kept handing her things to see how long it would take her to notice and it had taken her a, frankly, embarrassing long time to realize. This time, she forgot to process the words Barry was saying as he said them. It was only when he turned to her that she realized those words were directed at her.

"Lup?" he said.

"Oh," Lup said. "Uh, yeah? What's crackin', babe?"

She had it so, so bad.

"I-" Barry did a little laugh, sort of breathless. At least she had charm. "I was trying to ask if you, uh, wanted to come back tomorrow night as well? Obviously, if someone asks, we weren't here-"

"Dav's really put us in a fuckin' No Necromancy November challenge, huh?" Lup said. Barry wheezed and then immediately slapped his hand over his mouth to cover the noise. Lup grinned. "But yeah, I mean, I'd be down to come back tomorrow. And totally not do any necromancy. Whatsoever."

"Y- yeah," Barry said, with barely constrained laughter. "None- none at all. I don't even know what necromancy is."

"I think it's a spice," Lup said. "Y'know like, put a little necromancy in this pumpkin pie-"

Barry had to hide his face in his hands for that one. His laugh, even though he was trying very hard to conceal it, was adorable. He was adorable. That's what Davenport didn't understand about banning them from the lab. Like, they were gonna do this anyway, because otherwise, Lup wouldn't know what the fuck to say to get Barry to hang out with her. Phrasing it as "let's go make a dead frog tapdance" was a lot easier than saying "hey, can you hang out with me because you're super hot and I love you?"

A lab ban was like a Lup and Barry ban. And, as she watched Barry struggle to stay quiet in the bright fluorescent lights, Lup decided that that simply wouldn't do.

#blupjeans #barry bluejeans #lup #taz #taz balance #mine #asks #anon #ise cube writing #sdlkfsd anon i want to let u know that this ask has been Haunting me the whole work day #thank you

[a-force-dyad-in-space]

A Fanfic Update

Hey guys, I thought I should give you an update about what's going on Ongoing-WIPs-wise just in case you've had some worries.

The short of it is that the writing juices haven't flowed well for a while now and I'm trying to get them back but it is a struggle. I've worked a bit on this fic or other but haven't made significant progress in a few months. I absolutely hope that will change soon but I unfortunately can't force it. It doesn't help that I'm going through some stuff IRL right now that I have to take care of (I am unfortunately an adult who has to do adulting and pay bills and shit 🥲). I try not to be too stressed out about it, but the more time passes the more the anxiety sets in. Wish me luck. 💪🏻

Anyway, here's a fic-by-fic overview, split up by fandom.

THE UNTAMED

The Angsty SongXue Fic — I'll be honest, I've written a little bit since I last updated you guys but I still haven't finished the buffer chapter (at this point I'm thinking about posting chapter 51 even though 52 isn't done yet), so nothing really new here. I really want to get back into a writing flow but so far it hasn't really worked. I am still working on it, though, so don't worry, I'm not going to drop it.

The It Follows AU — I'm ashamed to say I didn't even realize I posted that fic almost two years ago and I still haven't written the second half. I'm so sorry it's taking so long! I definitely still want to finish it! I might rewatch the It Follows movie before I do that, though.

The Observer Series — Oh yeah, remember that smutfic series I started a few years ago of which I've only posted part 1 so far? Yeah, I still need to work on that. I did write chapter 1 of part 2 a while ago, so it's not like it's forgotten, I just need to get my ass up and write the rest of part 2 before I can post it. 🙈

The Color Rush AU — Okay, technically I haven't posted that one yet but I did share a snippet along with a gifset a few years ago, so you guys know it exists. I haven't worked on it in a long time, though, and I don't know yet when I will find the spoons to continue writing it but I'm still intrigued by the premise and want to give it a go. Thank you for your patience!

The Somewhat Sweet, Somewhat Angsty XuanXian Fic — Again, haven't posted that one yet but I've been posting about it, so you guys know it exists. Nothing new on this front. I did want to rewrite the whole thing because I wasn't really happy with the way I wrote it thus far, so I'll probably go back to it at some point and do that, I just don't know when yet.

WORD OF HONOR

The Xie'er Deserves the World Fic — Listen, guys, I love this fic so much, I just haven't worked on it in a while. I'll probably re-read what I've written so far and go on from there, I've just been struggling with the latest chapter ever since I started writing it years ago. It's not dropped, though, I will get back to it! Pinky swear!

SAILOR MOON

I've mentioned here and there that I'm working on part 1 of an epic that is based on a doujinshi I started when I was 13 or 14. Unlike my other WIPs, this one really is 100% self-indulgent to the point where I don't even care whether people will read/like it once I post it when it's completely done. I'll just put it out there to make my teenage self happy because this story has been simmering in my head for over 20 years, and so that my IRL friends can read it if they want to. So, this one will be a long way out, but it exists. I'm only really mentioning it because I've mentioned it a couple of times before and because it's the fic that's been on my mind the most lately.

STAR WARS

You didn't think I forgot about TROBS, did you????? I did work on several beginnings of a draft during NaNoWriMo last year and I'm getting more and more of a clear picture of how I want it to go. For those unfamiliar, TROBS (or The Rise of Ben Skywalker, though I already changed the name of the fic again) is my attempt at an Episode IX fix-it fic that essentially replaces TROS. This one has been simmering in my head since early 2020 and I really want to get it out of there and onto the page for catharsis. I've even held off on reading any other TROS fix-its because of it, even though I've heard there are some really amazing ones out there (and I can't wait to read them once I've gotten my own out of my damn head). I really need to finally finish that beast. Wish me luck. 🥲

UNPOSTED WIPs

I still have so many notes for other fics (mostly for The Untamed) that I want to write at some point. Will I be able to get them all on the page? I honestly don't know, but I'll see where they take.

Anyway, that's all!

#jen's ramblings #jengwrites

[ali-annals]

from all the memories stored in my heart

Pairing: Timari

Rating: G

WC: 1.3k

A/N: Choose Your Own Ending Timari angst for @/the-coffee-fandom. "Don't forget who you belong to" was the prompt.

~~~~~~~~~

Tim blinked slowly, then jolted awake, used to going from 0 to 60 when he fell asleep working on a case.

The last thing he remembered wasn’t a case, though, it was-

“Marinette!” he called, looking around the cave…when had they moved from Marinette’s atelier to this spot?

Detective brain now fully engaged (though he would like some coffee or maybe a Monster), he scanned his surroundings carefully. 

The cave appeared to have been carved out of a cliff, and they weren’t in Kansas anymore (okay, Paris). It appeared that they were now much further east, likely around the mountain range the League of Assassins was in.

This wasn’t nearly as dramatic as the League’s usual Bat-nappings were, and the tapestries were too brightly coloured to be the League’s black and green, and the symbols embedded in them were like nothing he’d seen before, except for one place…Marinette’s sewing box, the one she never let him touch, even when he was closer to it than her and could hand her whatever sewing implement she needed.

What had his lovely innocent girlfriend been hiding from him?

The door in the wall opened and the woman in question stumbled in, looking the most frazzled he’d ever seen her (which was saying a lot, considering how busy she’d been during Fashion Week a couple months ago). The person who’d pushed her in muttered something like “your final grace” and looked kind of like a Tibetan monk, but definitely was not.

She smoothed her clothes, which were tattered and…were those scorch marks? And took a deep breath before approaching him.

“Tim, I am so, so sorry for this. I thought I had more time-I was so close to figuring out a way–” She broke herself off and leaned her hands heavily on his shoulders.

“I never wanted it to be like this, Tim. I only have a minute to say goodbye–”

“Mari, what is going on?” Tim put his hands on her shoulders to ground her. “Breathe, and tell me.”

She shook her head, loose hairs swinging limply. “I really loved you, and I am so sorry you were mixed up in all of this. I’m going to forget you now, and it’s up to you to choose if you want to forget me as well. It would be better if you did.” She choked back a sob and covered her mouth with her hand, turning away to face the monk(?) who had returned.

“Is there really no other way?”

“Don’t forget who you belong to, Marinette Dupain-Cheng. You chose this life when you took up the Order’s markings.”

They escorted her firmly out the door, Marinette casting a long glance back at him. “I’m sorry. I promise it was real.”

Tim muttered an excuse and sidestepped the woman standing outside the boutique, barely lifting his eyes from his phone as he typed a rough draft of a contract that needed to go out later.

“Excuse me.”

He rolled his eyes and turned around, prepared to give his secretary’s number or some cash after someone recognized him as Tim Drake-Wayne.

Tim paused, struck by the blue eyes and light freckles on the woman’s face. “May I help you?”

The woman paused, smiling a little self-consciously. “I’m sorry for bothering you, but…do you know me? You seem quite familiar, though I’m not sure why.”

He shook his head. “No, I don’t, I’m sorry. I’ve been told I have one of those faces,” he grinned.

Her face fell a little. “Alright, thank you. Have a lucky day!” she turned and headed in the opposite direction.

Tim continued his path, finishing his draft and sending it off to his secretary to clean up. A strange interaction to be sure, but he’d had weirder–this was Gotham, after all.

Alternate Ending:

Marinette quickly strode away, brushing the tears that fell away. “Of course he doesn’t remember you, he chose to get his memories wiped. Why would he want to remember a lying, secretive, fake girlfriend he knew for a year, anyways?”

She looked back once again, catching the last sight of his back as he turned the corner, busily typing away. “I’m sorry. I promise it was real.”

Alternate Alternate Ending:

Tim glanced back at Marinette and found her staring at him. “I’m sorry. I promise it was real,” she mouthed.

He startled. Those were the last words she had said to him before she erased her memories of anything not Order-related.

When the monk returned, he had given him a worn envelope, his name scrawled on it in Marinette’s font.

“Marinette Dupain-Cheng requested I give this to you as her final goodbye.”

“What are you doing to her?” he asked, straining against what seemed to be magic bonds.

“What she signed up for when she took our Order’s oath. Her memories of anything not related to the Order, of which you are included, will be erased.

“As her final wish, she requested that we give you the choice to erase your memories or keep them, and to give you her letter.”

“I’d like to keep my memories, thanks.”

The bonds dissolved with a snap and he stretched eagerly, wondering if he could make a break for it and rescue Mari.

The monk left the room before he could make up his mind, and a glowing purple portal appeared in front of him.

He probably shouldn't step into said glowing [purple portal, but since when had he acted rationally? 

Tim stepped into the flowing purple portal and appeared back in Marinette’s atelier.

Once he flew home (he should really look into those glowing purple portals), he sat on the edge of his bed and looked at the letter.

Finally, he opened it and started reading.

“Dear Tim, 

If you’re reading this, it means I failed. I had to give up my memories. I’m sorry.

If you’re reading this, it also means you chose not to erase your memories of me. Why? Why did you choose not to forget me?

I suppose I owe you an explanation. I am part of the Order of Guardians, a group of magic users in charge of the Miraculous. I hope you remember what I told you about Ladybug and Chat Noir so I don’t have to re-explain everything.

I was Ladybug, and I became the Guardian of the Miraculous. Once Hawkmoth was defeated, the Order, which had mostly died out over the years, approached me and I agreed to stay Guardian. The kwami didn't need more upheaval after the past years of fighting Hawkmoth, and the newly-recovered ones needed time with the others out and about to recover from their trauma.

I was sworn in as the official Guardian and was given a grace period of five years to live my life before I joined in rejuvenating the Order and erased my memories of anything not-Order-related.

I chose to erase my memories when I was sworn in but requested the grace period to explore the world and see if life was worth not being Guardian with no Hawkmoth around.

Everything was fine until I met you, and then I started searching for a way to extend the time or undo that vow altogether. It appears I have run out of time, and I am sorry that we never got to fully explore our relationship with no secrets or deadlines between us.

I think we could have taken over the world;)

I wish you good luck with your life.

All my love, Marinette.”

Tim sighed and flopped on his back, resting his arm over his eyes.

Ah, Marinette. That explained a lot.

Good luck, Marinette.

Now he headed back to the woman on the sidewalk. “Are you sure you don’t know me? Why did you just say those words?”

She stared up at him wonderingly. “You remember?”

He smiled grimly. “Yes. The question is, why do  you  remember?”

#timari #DCxMLB #ali writes

[citroenaficionado]

Blog post 2023

One year ago, at the end of 2022, I created a time capsule in video form. About 15 minutes ago, when I was lying in bed hoping to fall asleep early in order to not lose too much sleep tonight (as I will most likely want to wake up extremely early in the morning), I decided to make a blog post this year, at the end of 2023 (cutting it extremely close mind you, which is typical of course).

So much has happened and so much has changed this year, I can't remember al of it. I can't even remember most of it. I've spent an abnormally large amount of time the last few months thinking about what happened when and what started when and trying to get a grip on a timeline in my head.

Of all the things that changed, I might have changed the most, giving much more significance to my 18th birthday than most. Of course it wasn't a sudden change, although it did feel quite sudden. I was a buildup of tons of vicious cycles and time itself running a young boy around. I'm still a young boy on the inside for the record, and I'm sure I still don't look like a man on the outside yet (no, thank you).

There actually was a moment, a moment I had planned, from which things could have changed very sudden, if I had let it happen, if I had made it happen. But I'm glad I didn't, in hindsight.

Woah- Deja vu... I have a feeling I wrote something like that before, with Tumblr being the colour scheme it is now (canary, because lemons), and me deciding to click off and discard the draft. Possibly that happened in a dream?... Deja vu is still a mystery to me.

The moment (that didn't happen, for the record) is quite personal to me, so I doubt whether I should put it publicly on the internet for everyone to see. It was that exactly one year after I asked a group of friends to form a - "student group" shall we call it? - with me (which ran it's course and was disbanded because another took its place), I would ask that group of friends whether they wanted to be friends (with me) again.

In hindsight I think that gradually entering that circle of friends was a better option than dramatically asking to. And so that is one of the few occasions for which I'm glad I only speak out if I find the perfect moment, a character trait which often is unhelpful when you want to be social, by the way.

I didn't want to start the blog on that moment actually, I wanted to either attempt a chronological list or talk about recent events, as in the past three days. I don't know how long it took you to read until here, but I started roughly 45 minutes ago. I'm slow like that.

In the month of my birthday there was a sports day I have a fond memory from, I don't remember the exact words that were said but they made me feel helpful and I liked being helpful and the memory is something I've referenced before (not on this blog obviously).

Around that time was when I really started wanting to break from the cycle of every day feeling the same without progress towards anything. I asked for a notepad and pen(cil) for my birthday that I was planning to bring with me from then onwards to write stuff in. Those who know me well know which little book I'm referring to.

Though I don't remember any example right now, I was starting to try to be more social around that time. Then the summer holidays happened. And something weird happened. From the past holidays (before that summer) I had concluded that I did not like traveling and going on holiday. And I really didn't want to go anymore. But against better judgement I went anyway.

And looking back I'm definitely glad I did. Because I learned that I strongly dislike physical labour when money is the only goal I am working towards. And I learned that there are people out there who I actually really like being around. 'Introvert' and 'extrovert' have become meaningless to me, because it depends entirely on who I am around and how I am feeling.

The end of the summer holidays, although I slightly doubt it, might have been the first time I actually had the feeling of "I'm going to miss this person" aimed towards a human being. Before then I had always been more of an animal person. I remember that at the start of the summer holidays I had already changed, because someone who knew me well mentioned it.

I tried to bring this social change with me back to school, but failed horrendously, getting hit with all of the problems being in the last year of highschool gives you. I don't remember exactly what happened, probably because not much out of the ordinary happened, but after a couple of days I gave up. And I gave up hard.

I decided to stop trying. And to just focus on school. This is getting personal again and it is getting late (22:22 ha) so my brain is slowing down, sorry for any inconveniences caused. I have written about this before, in a script for a video I never finished, so I want to keep this relatively short.

Everyday, I would come into class, sit alone in the front, be the first to leave when the bell rang, and I would not go to the aula in the break. Instead I would wander round the building or go to a study area or something. Being in the aula became overwhelming and the noise scared me away. Only in two lessons would I sit next to someone, and only then because I didn't want to make my old friends worried about how I was.

After five school days of keeping this up I started wearing a paper bracelet to school on which I kept track of how many school days I had been like this. I have also referenced to this bracelet before. I still have this bracelet on my shelf beside me now, the numbers on it span from 6 to 15. It was hard to know when to stop.

After an Earth science project that I was looking up against included a nice conversation with a friend and a trip home with four people that I wanted to be friends with (taking that ferry instead of waiting for the one after was one of the best decisions I've ever made, and I didn't hesitate to take it too when I saw them actually boarding it), I took off the bracelet. I hoped it was the end. Of course the next school day went badly again so I kept it on for a couple of days more, but it didn't take long before I- forgot to put the bracelet on one day. And to be perfectly honest, that is a perfect ending to the whole thing and a typical example of me, really.

Then (or around that time) Operation Friendship started (yes I called it that). I gradually started sitting next to people in lessons instead of on my own all the time. I made a list of everyone who I wanted to become friends with or get to know better (writing this makes me feel so embarrassed) as well as ranked them on how much I had talked to them or how well they knew me so far. It lasted a surprising two months before I finally wrote down in my notebook that OpFr was discontinued in order for me to focus on the friends I already had at that point.

Do not make the mistake of thinking I never questioned what I was doing. There are plenty of times that I wondered whether what I was doing counted as something a psychopath would do. And there were plenty of times where I was tempted to shut OpFr down before I finally actually did.

Anyway, one of the people whose name I wrote down but never actually got to talk properly with is someone I'll call target Kela. The reason I bring Kela up is because of the first half of 2023, before the summer holidays. I kind of feel like that storyline is unfinished though, if you know what I mean? Maybe I still find it too personal to talk about Kela...

I'll move on to recently instead. In the beginning it was really hard being part of two friend groups, every time I moved from one to the other it felt like I was abandoning one for the other. Now it still feels off, but it's tolerable and I don't think anybody judges me for it. That's one of the things that changed over a smaller vacation.

The other thing that changed is how I perceive the world, which suddenly changed back to how it was before I merged into a "new" friend group and only then did I realise that how I felt had been different in the first place. Suddenly I was back to my old socially scared self, but then with more friends and with memories and pre-made plans for me of who to befriend next (/exaggeration).

It's been weird, thinking about the past and where I am now, but I need to wrap this up now as in less than fourty minutes it will be 2024!

A couple of days ago was my first time playing D&D, which is notable because I have been interested in D&D for almost a year and ten months. Afterwards I was frustrated with myself for how it went, but I've already vented those feelings so I won't do that here. Yesterday I was still in a really bad mood so even walking for two and a half hours and having a house to myself didn't change anything.

Today we did the floor of my room, in one day instead of two, even though I was tired the whole way through. And tonight I was lying in bed trying to go to sleep early so I could wake up after the fireworks and be mentally active at three in the morning. But then I got the idea to do this!

I guess that means that my idea hyping brain is working again, so that's good. I originally had the idea of reacting to my time capsule video from last year and turning that into a video of it's own, which I could still do, but there is so much I could still do, and there is so much I should still do.

There is probably a ton of stuff I forgot to say and a ton of stuff I will remember not long after having posted this. But if you read all of this, first of all, who are you? and second of all, why did you just read *that* much text willingly?

-Aaaand my sibling just came in and completely halted my train of thought. Happy 2024!

Edit 1 (at 00:33): I completely forgot to say that part of the reason I got the idea to do this is because I realised when I was lying there that I missed people. And I really didn't often miss people in the past. Talking to a friend in a voice channel helps a lot temporarily, but I generally dislike holidays nowadays because I rarely see friends during them.

Second thing I completely forgot to mention is the memory right before the summer holidays of being at the graduation ceremony and seeing the people of the "student group" (who now I would say are my friends) being super happy in a group photo together. I stood and smiled from the sidelines. :')

[hideyseek]

/BARGES IN/ HELLO BUDDY REVERSE UNO CARD FANFIC ASK MEME 🥺, 🤡 , 🛒, ⌛

HIIIIIIIIIII ENNJI <3 I LOVE 2 BE UNO REVERSE CARDED!! also haha sorry these got ... quite long (i can talk about how long it takes me to write a thing for SO LONG buddy) so i'm putting the whole thing under a cut.

from these fanfic writer emoji asks

🥺 Is there a certain type of moment or common interaction between your characters that never fails to put you in your feels?

mmmmmmm.... had to think about this one for a bit because the types of interactions i tend to write for kakehai aren't actually the ones that put me in MY feels, haha. but i think moments of very small and mundane domesticity are moments i really like -- there's an almost off-hand kind of intimacy in that kind of sharing space that i'm really compelled by. that idea of like, oh this person is so familiar to me that things like reaching around them or being passed something by them is all happening somewhat subconsciously.

🤡 What’s a line, scene, or exchange you’ve written that made you laugh?

ohoho. i do think that i've gotten a lot less funny over the years, both as a person in how i interact with the world and also in the kind of writing i'm doing. part of this i think is just the particular bits of haiji/kazetsuyo that i latched onto (in particular contrast to the lighthearted, laugh-at-the-narrator, very romantic type of fic i primarily wrote for inception).

anyway, that to say i actually couldn't think of anything when i was answering this so then i went down a rabbit hole of google docs bc surely i'd written something i thought was funny in the last year and genuinely all i could find (though admittedly i didn't search very hard) was this snippet from a kunikidazai pwp ficlet i started for bcsdp when kunikida's been lost in thought for a while:

“Ku-ni-ki-da-kun,” Dazai prompts. “What’s happening upstairs?” “Nothing,” Kunikida snaps, and wishes he’d said none of your business as soon as Dazai smirks.

🛒 What are some common things you incorporate in your fics? Themes, feels, scenes, imagery, etc.

ok well i was going to say "i don't know but i skimmed through all my posted fic on ao3 and i had two whole fics that involved the pov character being a forger of some kind and a core romance-related theme being 'what is real vs what is valuable' which isn't a lot but it's weird that it happened twice".

but then i remembered that i have like, three or four wips across a couple fandoms that are all basically "what happens to my blorbo guy after a big, life-changing experience ends and then he's left adrift and has to figure out how to be a person?" so i'll say that! i'm really compelled by the idea of having a like, identity-defining project and then having that like -- end abruptly and having a character still have to be themselves without it.

⌛ How long does it take you to write a fic, or a chapter?

SO LONG. ohh my god SO SO LONG. well okay that's not true, it really depends. one of my big "writing goals" (incredibly abstract goal, i would not say i'm working toward it) is to write faster.

i've gotten to a point where i can, more or less, rough out an outline of a 2-4k fic focusing on 1-2 character relationships with a single reasonably straightforward plot and no particular thematic intention in an afternoon, and probably draft it in a week (and revise in another week) if i'm not doing much else or the idea is really compelling and i don't get overthinky. a year or two ago, that would have taken me maybe a month or two of very like, focused and intense writing. but also there's like ... something about the 4k threshold that i just never can really cross with a fic like this.

but in terms of drafting and going from the start of an idea to an actual fic i am incredibly, incredibly slow. most fics that i'm writing now are more than 4k (even the mini version of heist!au is shaping up to be 5k ish) and are probably ... 3-5 drafts? for narrative!fic i've spent maybe 2-3 years now putting snippets in a evernote doc and drafted the first 1/4 to 1/3 of the story literally 4 times in the last year -- i'm like a chapter and a half into draft 4 now and that's taken already 2-3 weeks (and this was genuinely a fluke from the recent holiday weekend) and in my mind this is still a "first draft".

ok wow this was possibly more than you desire to know about how long it takes me to write things however haha i'm still not done! the thing that has been keeping me moderately sane about all this is this FANTASTIC BOOK called the art of slow writing by louise desalvo which i have also been reading incredibly slowly (i am about 60% of the way through and it has been since like, february of this year) but the book is this really wonderful (to me) collection of both desalvo's process and perspective of writing a novel, and a ton of referencing other writers and how goddamn long it took them to write things (with lots of gentle and loving mockery of writing as a practice, which i really enjoy). anyway! i recommend it -- whenever i get frustrated about how long a fic is taking i'll go read a chapter of this (they are all very short) and calm down about it.

#hidey speaks #ask game #ahaha sorry ennji this got uh SO LONG. when i'm on the laptop i simply type so so so much and never ever stop #hope u enjoy !

[nctzanne]

Your Last Name

♡ doctor!mark x fem!Reader.♡ smut, fluff if you use glasses

WARNINGS!: use of alcohol and drugs, explicit content, not sex but mentions of it.

𝑆𝑢𝑚𝑚𝑎𝑟𝑦: I just want you to give it a try and read it AAAH

𝑅𝑒𝑞𝑢𝑒𝑠𝑡?: no, an idea i've had since i started stanning NCT

𝐴𝑛𝑛𝑒'𝑠 𝑡𝘩𝑜𝑢𝑔𝘩𝑡𝑠 & 𝑟𝑒𝑐𝑜𝑚𝑚𝑒𝑛𝑑𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛𝑠: As i said above, this is an idea I've had for sOOOOOO many months, so I really wanted it to make it happen. It was on my drafts for a long time. Thank you so so much if you take the time to read this.

You noticed when your mind woke up suddenly, but without opening your eyes, slowly bringing you back to reality. You tasted your own mouth dry as a bone, with a metalic flavor on it, typical scenario when we talk about hangovers. The headache that invaded you so suddenly made you grab your forehead, almost if you brain was going to explode right there. The smell of fermentation on the room -or wherever you were- made you nauseous, so you stayed still to avoid vomiting everything you consumed the night before. A light breathing woke you up from your trance and inner speech, you could even feel the warmth of it on your shoulder. That's when you realize you were not alone, totally opposite of that, you were cornered by arms twice your size, avoiding you to move on the super duper comfortable position you were in. You still didn't want to open your eyes to notice who the lucky guy was, but you could smell the hints of tequila on his breath. When that hit your nose, you turned around abruptly by instinct, trying to avoid the smell. You opened my eyes a little, just to be able to locate yourself in space-time.

A room hotel, there's where you were. White walls reflected the light that came from outside of the giant windows, making you cover your eyes with the hand that wasn't under the grip of this unknown guy. Once your eyes get used to the light, you remembered that you were at Bora-Bora for vacations with your best friend. You can hear the eagles screaming way too loud for your irritable state, but just noticing where you were made you feel more calmed. "At least I'm here and they didn't kidnap me" You thought, finally grabbing the courage to turn around and see who exactly was the guy that had a night of passion with you.

"Sure, shit"

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-Wait, repeat it to me, who did you meet? -You asked incredulously, looking at how your friend Rosé was overflowing with emotion and nervousness.

-Do you know this famous band?- She told you a name that you couldn't identify, you automatically shake your head-Anyways, while I was waiting for you on the beach I met with Jaehyun, the bass player, we talked a little and he invited us for a few drinks with his friends!- She talked so fast that you had a hard time processing all the information that was given to you.

-And that's it, a random guy talks to you and you say yes?. He could be a serial killer-

-Ah c'moooon, he's a superstar, it will be funn!!!-

So, a not so official date with guys from a band. Sure, excellent idea.

-Okay, are they handsome at least?- You asked with disinterest

-You can't imagine, y/n, so prepare yourself as well as possible, they will fall for you- she approached the small bridge that united your cabins in the middle of the sea, while she blowed you a flirtatious kiss.

You just laughed and walked towards the windows, admiring the sea. You were literally in paradise, your bedrooms floated above the ocean, the white sand was not so far from where you were staying in, and the horizon was clearer than ever. How lucky you were to have a friend who helped you get over your breakups with a very casual trip to Bora Bora at the Four Seasons hotel. Loneliness invaded you for a second and you decided to get ready for the long-awaited meeting that you would have with her friends.

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A white beach dress with pink heels and your tan is enough, with the right makeup obviously. It was already 7 pm and your nervous friend looked at her cell phone while texting with someone

-Is it him?- You ask, trying to peek behind her shoulder to see if you could figure out what they're talking about.

-Yes, he is telling me he's here at the bar but he doesn't see us-

-Of course, we are sitting, let me raise my hand- and so you did it.

-Here!!!!- Your friend screams in excitement when she sees 3 tall figures approaching to you. They seemed to walk on a slow pace, almost like the came out of a movie. And yes, your heart almost stopped for a good 10 seconds. Three guys, my gosh, models? What were they again?. God definitely had preferences for some human beings.

The fact that they aere so handsome and well… structured made you blush. Jaehyun, Johnny and ...

-Mark, nice to meet you- the youngest of the 3 of them greeted me, with a dazzling smile that makes his dimples appear. You bit your lip and studied his entire face so that you would never forget him again. -y/n, nice to meet you too-

╚═══════ ≪ °❈° ≫ ═══════╝

Nothing more and nothing less than Mark Lee himself. His makeup was completely smeared, traces of mascara under his closed eyes. His forehead and nose were reflecting the daylight a bit. It was a hot morning (or evening), and having you next to his body was obviously going to make him sweat. His open, broken lips gave off that smell of alcohol that made you sick. But despite of everything, your sight softened after a couple of seconds. He was sleeping so peacefully, and he was clinging to you like his life depended on it, so you couldn't help but smile.

-Mark... wake up- you whispered softly while you tried to get up.

-Hmmmh, what time is it?- his morning voice made my stomach tingle a bit, your sight never leaving his figure while he starts waking up.

He squinted while he sit up in bed slowly, ruffling his own hair. It was obvious that he was in the same blank state you were a few minutes ago, and you could tell by how he confusingly looked around at the room, until his eyes reached at you. His face expression softened, giving you a shy smile.

-Do you need some clothes?- he asked, blushing when he studied your naked torso with lazy eyes. You realized that you both were entirely naked, and you rushed to cover your breasts with your arms, just to earn a pure laugh from him, that made your head resonate in pain.

-We fucked, y/n, no need to hide- Mark put all his weight on his left elbow, getting closer to you while tilting his face flirtatiously. That made you cheeks go red as ever.

-Yes, but I don't remember anything so your point is automatically invalid- His body hovered yours so fast that you couldn't even process what was happening, until he pecked your lips.

-I remember everything, so I will refresh your memory-

You burst out laughing while he deposited soft pecks all over your face. The situation was so sweet, but it didn't make you feel uncomfortable at all. He interrumpted his love actions and looked at you hungrily.

-Mark, I barely can keep myself awake, i feel like I'm going to puke...-You warned him, reading his intentions.

-Okay okay- he looked down defeated- At least, can we cuddle a bit more? I promise I can make the hangover feel better- He tangled his legs and arms to your body, resting his face on your collarbones.

╚═══════ ≪ °❈° ≫ ═══════╝

Everything on that evening was talking about the mortality of a crab. Basics like where you were from, what do you do for a living and relationship status open the conversation.

Your attention was drawn to Mark when he started to introduce himself. As a Medicine student, he decided with his 2 best friends that were part of a band to go on a trip to relax due to the busy schedules that consumes their time. The three live together on a small apartment in Korea, where the rent is expensive so they can make it more affordable.

Bora-bora was the destination of their choice. It seems that the band called NCT 127 draw lot of attention from crazy fans who followed them EVERYWHERE, so an expensive place like so would be easier to have a time for them on their own.

Mark spoke always adding "like" between his words, he liked to lay back when he was sipping on his piña colada, but got closer to the table when you talked about your experience as a journalist.

He tried so hard to show interest on a topic he had no idea about, that his questions were kinda clueless, but it was obvious that it was his way to not cut the attraction and chat between you and him. It was a sexual tension you could feel by kilometers, every gaze you had was followed by a shy smile, and you felt tingles on your body everytime you had a bit of interaction.

-Do you guys do shots?- Rosé interrumpted the conversation, scanning the boys reaction.

-I mean, that's why we are here- Johnny combed his hair backwards, already feeling heated by the 2 gin tonics he drank in 15 minutes. I couldn't deny, him on a tight black shirt looked hot as fuck, I could notice how Rosé was drooling for him- Excuse me, maa'am- he raised his hand, calling the waitress- 3 rounds of shots please!-

-Man, we had 2 yesterday and you almost puked on the sea, go easyyyy- you could notice the tipsy state from Jaehyun as well. His eyes were almost closed on a thin line and his dorky smile betrayed him. Mark laughed out loud, first time in the night you heard him like that, with his cheeks tinted red. He took a big sip of his piña colada, looking at you directly at the eyes. Actually, you didnt noticed till that moment, but your legs started to feel a bit numb. Quite usual for you when the alcohol gets up on your head.

-I'm in!- you answer to Johnny's idea. Once the blue shots arrive, you quickly grab one.

-Cheers for this night to be special- he screams with a deep voice, and the other 2 guys howl as response while you burst out laughing.

When you decided that the amount of alcohol on your body was enough, you took a chance to go to the beach to sing and dance to the DJ placed randomly in there.

You felt bliss, the EDM music was filling your senses, but you tried to keep your eyes full opened so you could remember the beautiful but blurry view of the sunset.

Together with your new group of friends were a mess. Jumping, screaming, raising your hands like you could touch the sky, everything seemed possible at that moment. Even dancing and getting laid with Mark.

The music had nothing to do with your plan, but you got dangerously close to him, resting your arms on his shoulders. You could see that he chuckled, tilting his head back so he could see you fully. Both of you were drunk as hell, you thought you were killing it with the flirting skills, but probably you just looked like two fools trying not to fall for the obvious drunken state you were.

-Do you wanna kiss me?- you screamed while "Jenny" sounded on the speakers. What kind of question is that?

-Sure I do- his canadian accent made you bite your lip while smiling- Can I?- his voice tried to mimic yours, but you didnt answered, it wasnt necessary.

Your lips collided as you got close at the same time, and Mark wasted no time to open his mouth and let his tongue in your wet cavity. You moaned so loud, because you knew no one could hear it but him. A fierce fight between both of your tongues started, every graze of them would make yourself wetter and wetter. He squeezed your waist and tried to keep you closer to him if it was possible, in his drunk mind he was scared you could run away from him.

Nothing about the context was romantic at all. You both physically liked eachother and just wanted to make out. No love at first sight, no kiss with fireworks behind, just pure desire.

Adrenaline rushed your body when his hands cupped your ass, that was only covered by the thin dress you decided to wear. Nobody near you could care less about what you two were doing it, but for you, everyone was looking at the show you and Mark were offering, and that obviously turned you on.

You bit Mark's lower lip, sucked on it, while opening your eyes to look directly at him. Eyes closed, he was enjoying how you toyed his lips. The hard grip on your skin, and a bulge poking your stomach made you feel powerful, you were loving the effect you caused on him.

Suddenly, an arm made you break your kiss with Mark. You lose your balance so you hug the guy that was pulling you backwards. Johnny.

-Hey, pornstars, we have some nice shit here- he pointed his hand with his eyes. You could see a tiny bag with a white dust inside. You come to your senses and look around at the crowd to try find Rosé, but it was obvious she already was under the influence. She was on Jaehyun's shoulders, enjoying the music. You sigh, chuckling at the sight of her losing her mind.

-Its my first time though- you commented while you look at Johnny spreading the dust on top of his phone screen with one hand using a credit card. You could notice he was an expert at it, you peek to see Mark right by your side looking at the manouvers as hypnotized as you. Probably it was his first time too.

You both snorted the little substance, and it sucked at first. It was so uncomfortable, but it took minutes for you to get used to that weird sensation on your nose.

You didnt even noticed when everything started to amplify. You could feel the summer breeze making its way around you, the taste of Mark's saliva still on your tongue was strong, the colorful tins of the sky while it was dusking looked so enhanced.

A hand grabbed yours, taking you out of your trance, and almost felt like an orgasm. So warm and so soft, made you wanna scream. You turned to see a fucked out Mark, studying your face with dilated pupils, he was almost as horny as you by only grabbing hands.

He caressed yours with his thumb, and it felt like he was fucking you, your body shivered at it. Mark was enjoying it too, so he brought your fingers closer to his mouth and inserted the index one inside, and started to suck on it. You moaned and felt how your pussy clenched at nothing, the saliva coating your finger felt like caramel, if you could explain the feeling.

-Mark if you keep doing that i'm gonna cum- you told him with a warning tone, he was so inmersed on sucking your finger that he jumped when you talked. He was aroused by the situation too.

He smiled with your finger still inside of his mouth, took it out, holded you by your wrist and started to run towards...

╚═══════ ≪ °❈° ≫ ═══════╝

-And we ended up here- Mark sumed up the night while you were laying on his chest, caressing it with the tip on your fingers. His, on the other hand, were playing with the locks of your hair.

-Yeah, i remember now, such a night- and then you snapped- Wait... where the fuck is...-

-Yeah, she was having a threesome with the boys. Dont worry, she was having a good time-Mark answered with a playful tone. Of course, that sounds like a very Rosé thing to do. You let out a breathy laugh.

-We could have joined...- you suggested, looking up at him. He took a few seconds to answer, while his eyes moved from one corner to the other of the ceiling, like he was evaluating that scenario.

-Yeah, and sharing? No thanks- he bit his lip and he looked at you with a greedy smile- I felt so lucky to have you screaming my name over and over-

You hit his shoulder with your fist playfully, and he took that as an answer to keep silent and just enjoy the company of the other.

╚═══════ ≪ °❈° ≫ ═══════╝

2 days went by, you get used to hang out with the boys. All kinds of crazy stuff you could imagine, you were doing it with them, and it felt like heaven. Mark couldnt keep his hands to himself and everytime he had the opportunity, he would make you cum on his fingers or mouth. And the same goes for you, too. Thanks to him, you noticed how good you are at giving blowjobs inside public restrooms.

But nothing lasts forever, sadly, and the last day of your summer vacation arrived. Rosé and you were ready to go back to Seoul, while they would be staying a little bit longer. It hurted, you got used to Mark's attention, and either him or you wanted to ask for eachothers contact. Not because of lack of interest, but because both of you thought that the other saw it as an adventure. You didn't even knew his last name.

His lips devours yours before you could get in the car that was waiting for you on the street -I wont forget you, thanks for this amazing 3 days- he smiled, a tint of sadness on his eyes. You caressed his cheek, pecking his nose, trying to hurry as much as you coulf so you wouldnt start to feel emotional.

-Y/l/n-

He looked at you clueless -What?-

-My last name is y/l/n- you smiled and without waiting for an answer, you close the door of the car.

╚═══════ ≪ °❈° ≫ ═══════╝

-Hey, hey, it's okay- typical of Rosé being so overdramatic. Sure, your finger almost got cut in half while you were trying to cook some carbonara, but it wasnt a big deal, something a few stitches couldn't fix. The only thing that kept your finger from gushing blood out was a piece of toilet paper.

-Please! My friend needs a doctor!!!!- She screamed at the top of her lungs inside the hospital.

-What happened?- a nurse hurried, worried eyes scanning you both.

-She is losing her finger!!!!- Rosé felt she was going to faint.

-Jesus, Rosé, calm down-

The nurse takes a quick look at your finger- Yeah it doesn't look that good, please follow me. You are lucky we don't have that many patients on New Years Eve-

You are guided to a tiny room full of medical stuff, probably where you are going to get your finger sticked together. It hurted as fuck, but you were trying to keep focused on something other than the pain. You looked at the desk with the computer on, and on a hidden corner you noticed a picture of 3 friends, on a place that seemed too familiar to you. Actually, the friends also seemed like an old ones you had... maybe in university? You can't quite remember.

The door opened up while you were trying to dig into your memories , and you looked at the door startled.

-So, Mrs y/n...- that voice, that motherfucking voice. A year has passed. But how the fuck you were supposed to forget it?. You felt your ears buzzing, face heating and heartbeat racing. You were losing your breath and suddenly the pain of your finger got worst and worst.

He didn't turn to look at you, just got inside by looking at his phone, and once he was sit in front of you, his facial expression dropped.

There were the both of you, looking at eachother like dumb teenagers, like your finger wasnt bleeding out, almost like you were backat that bar in Bora-bora again.

-I... uh... yeah, my finger- you stutter, pointing at it. Mark shakes his head, coming back at his professional senses.

Before the medical procedure he performed, he bandaged your finger, and wrote some medicine you had to take for the pain to go away.

-It should be okay on a few weeks, nothing to worry about- he smiled at you, trying to comfort you. You felt your heart drop when he grabbed the healthy of both of your hands and caressed your palm with his thumb, everything felt like a flashback. You looked at him with clueless eyes.

-I... uh... I should come back in a few weeks then- you stuttered, pressing your lips into a thin line while looking at him directly on his eyes. He nods.

-Lee-

You frowned -Huh?-

-My last name is Lee-

#nct 127 smut #nct 127 scenario #nct scenario #nct smut #mark lee #mark lee scenario #mark lee smut #mark lee imagines #kpop smut #kpop scenario #kpop imagines

[pixie88]

Christmas Shopping

Chapter 3 - Addicted to you.  

A/N: It felt so weird writing/editing this chapter in the middle of summer, but that’s how their timeline worked out! I can’t remember the last time I released a H&L chapter or wrote one to be fair, I think after this I have 2 more in drafts. Better get back to it! I hope you like it 😘  

Tagging those who asked to be tagged but if you want to be added let me know!

Read previous chapters HERE!

Warnings: Fluff & NSFW

Songs: Kelly Rowland - Commander, Rihanna - Only girl, Magic - Rude & Wyclef Jean - Perfect gentleman.

Word Count: 2673

Pairings: Laila x Harry

Enjoy! 😘  

A couple days later.

"So what are you going to get Harry for Christmas?" Nikki asks her as they had taken a break from shopping to have some lunch. "I have no idea what to get him!" she sighs. "I'm sure he'll be happy with you in some sexy lingerie," Nikki winks at her Laila lets out a loud laugh making people turn to look at her. "Or you can get him a Santa costume?" she laughs.

"What are you getting Stu?" Laila changes the subject. "He wants a new aftershave, I can't remember what he normally wears. What does Harry wear?" Laila has a think "Erm...a few different ones really Paco Rabanne One Million, Davidoff cool water, Boss Bottle that one what's his face is in the advert....the guy that plays Thor. Is one he smelt recently and liked but he didn't get it because they sold out and only had the sample bottle."

"You can get him that! I might have a sniff to see if it's something Stu would wear too!"

After lunch, they are walking through the shopping centre, Nikki ended up getting Stu some aftershave. Laila was still unsure what to get Harry, so Nikki drags her into Ann Summers. "What about these??" Nikki holds up some fluffy handcuff, Laila snorts. "We already have some, but without the fluff!" Nikki puts down the cuffs "What about cock ring? Closest Harry will get to sticking a ring on it!"

"We have that too," Laila blushes. "Crotch less knickers?" Laila nods signalling she has those. "Weighted love ball?" she asks and Laila again nods. "Feather tickler?" nod, "Blind fold? Riding crop?" Laila again nods, "Jeez, it would be easier to ask what you haven't got!" the pair laugh, "What? It has been eight years remember!" Laila winks at her.

"What about anal beads or ball gag?" Laila pulls a disgusted face "Finally! What about nipple clamps?" Laila laughs, "Only if they're being used on him!" she laughs. "God! Just think 6 months ago you were a born again virgin...now look at you! Getting more action than all of us put together!" Nikki giggles "Just over 7 months actually!" Laila corrects her.

Laila's phone Pings.

"Nikki! Look what Harry has done to Mabel!" she hands her the phone. "Awwww! Laila how adorable do she look!" the pair coo over the photo. "Has she met her new dog walker yet?" Nikki asks as she hands back the phone "She's met her, she's actually taking her out today." she smiles.

They ended up leaving the shop with some Christmas theme lingerie.

Later.

Laila arrives home all the lights are out "Harry?" Laila calls out. "I'm in the living room!" he calls back, she hangs up her coat and makes her way across the hall. When she opens the living room door the room is lit with tea and fairy lights, there are blankets and cushions on the floor in front of the coffee table. On the coffee table there is a chocolate fondue with fruit and marshmallows next to it "Aww Bear! What's all this?" she wanders over to him on the floor. "Where's Mabel?" she looks round the room as she sits next to him.

"She's gone to bed, Nessa took her for a 2 mile walk today!" he cups her face pulling her in for a soft kiss. "Aww, are they getting on OK?" he smiles, "Yeah, I've booked her in for Monday to Friday this week coming about lunchtime, so you'll met her this week."

"Right, enough about this dog walker. Are you going to let me feed you?" she winks, he leans forward grabbing a strawberry and hands it to her. She dips it into the chocolate and guilds it towards his lips, he's just about to take a bite when she redirects it to her mouth and takes a bite. He laughs and reaches over and pulls her lips to his. His tongue swirls with hers tasting the chocolate covered strawberry, he pulls away "That was amazing!" he grins at her.

She grabs another strawberry covers it in chocolate and traces it against his pulse line. Her tongue follows the same path, he groans and his breathing hitches as she pulls away she places the strawberry against his lips, he takes a bite. His lips brush over her finger tips making her every nerve ending stand on end. He knows the affect he has on her "How was that?" 

"Tasty!" he grins and winks at her "Your turn." he picks up a marshmallow covers it in chocolate holds it out for her to bite into it. "Hmmm..!" she smiles at him "Did you get all your shopping done?"

"I need to order a couple of bits online, but after that..I'm done."

"Christmas day, what are we doing?" he asks.

She sighs, "I don't know how we are going to split between them all!" she leans against him and his arm comes around her. "I have an idea....as it's our first Christmas together, what if we did Christmas day just me, you and Mabel? In bed in our PJ's? I'll cook us Christmas dinner. Then Boxing day we do a buffet for both families?" she sits up to look at him "So, a lazy Christmas day? In bed?"

"Yeah...PJ's, snuggles in bed and a Harry Taylor roast. What more could a girl ask for?!" he winks waiting for her answer. "I love it!" his face lights up "Really?!" he questions her. "Yeah, Christmas day in bed with my hunky boyfriend, but I have one alteration....no pajamas!" He raises a brow to her, "Noted!" he jokes. "Instead Christmas jumpers!!!" this wasn't the answer he was expecting.

She giggles "Your face! But I want matching Christmas pajamas!" He chuckles "OK, but no photos my brothers will rip into me!" she sighs "Oh! Come on, one photo? Just to make me happy?" she pouts. "Fine, if it makes you happy." she claps getting her own way, "I think you owe it to Mabel after today!"

He chuckles "She looked cute!" "She did! Oh are you working Saturday?" she asks. "I don't think so?" he questions. "Every Christmas we do a friends Christmas party, kinda like a blow out before the family stuff. Nikki has planned it for Friday night and she has found somewhere that is having a 90's to 2020's night"

"Sounds good, who's going?" he asks. "Remy, Alec, Nikki, Stu, Alene, Daniel and now us!" she smiles. "I'm guessing we get completely smashed then?" she laughs.

Friday evening.

They arrive at the club Nikki found, Laila and Harry are the last to arrive.

Laila notices Stu and Nikki at the bar, she sneaks up behind her Stu spy's her, but Laila puts her index finger to her lips signalling him not to say anything. As she reaches Nikki, she wraps her arms around waist, making Nikki whip round with a face like thunder until she realises it was her friend "Laila, I was just about to...whatever. Glad you guys are here." she shouts over the music.

"Sorry, Mabel's walker got back late. Where are the others?" Laila calls back, Nikki points over to a table where the rest of the group are sat. Harry leans in, "Shall we get a drink first?" Laila nods "What you guys having?" Stu asks. "I know Laila's drink, Harry what ya having?" Nikki asks.

After they make their way over to the others "Hey!!" Laila call out as she takes a seat next to Alec, who hugs her and Harry. They are sat for a few minutes when Kelly Rowland - Commander begins to play Nikki jumps up, grabbing Laila's hand dragging her to the dance floor.

Nikki starts to sing along.

"From here on out

I'll be your commander (I'll be your commander)

No fear no doubt

I'll provide the answer

Right now I command you to dance"

She points to Laila, who starts to sing along with her. The pair are dancing on the edge of the dance floor in view of the table, laughing, their bodies swaying to the music the pair attract a couple of strangers, who slowly move closer to them waiting to make their move to become their unwanted dance partners.

Completely oblivious to the unwanted strangers, the song switches to Rihanna - Only Girl they continue to dance. Suddenly both girls feel someone behind them as they turn they saw Stu and Harry, Laila looks up at him confused "I thought you don't dance?" she laughs. He wraps his hands round her, swaying her as he leans in, "I don't, but those blokes behind me were inches away from trying to dance with you two."

She looks behind him "Oh, you didn't want me dancing with a stranger?" she laughs, he shook his head and they continued dancing away.

The next song was Magic - Rude as it starts up Laila starts singing it to Harry when she gets to the chorus he joins in.....

"Can I have your daughter for the rest of my life?

Say yes, say yes, 'cause I need to know

You say I'll never get your blessing till the day I die

'Tough luck, my friend, but the answer is no!'

Why you gotta be so Rude?

Don't you know I'm human too?

Why you gotta be so Rude?

I'm gonna marry her anyway

Marry that girl, marry her anyway

Marry that girl, yeah, no matter what you say

Marry that girl, and we'll be a family

Why you gotta be so Rude?"

Both grinning and smiling, he cups her face pulling her in for a kiss.

A little later back at the table "Laila, Boxing day....is it OK to bring Melissa?" Alene asks, Laila looks over to Rem. "Is Rem OK with that?" she looks to Alene who nods "If it's OK with Rem it's OK with me." when she looks up Rem mouths "Thank you." to her.

Daniel comes over from the bar with a tray of drinks "Sex on the beach anyone?" he passes them around the group. "Damn Daniel at least buy a girl a drink first!" Alene teases him "Sorry Len, but you aren't my type!" he winks at her, the group laugh.

A little later Perfect Gentleman - Wyclef Jean starts playing a tipsy Harry pulls Laila away from the bar and onto the dance floor. He spins her before pulling her close to him swaying them together. "Hey, you are a liar!! You can dance!" Laila giggles as she wraps her arms around his neck.

"My moo....ves only get bet...ter after I've add....a few." his words are slurred, his hips move with hers. He spins her round again, her body collides with his "I think you need to get drunk at every party or night out if it improves your dance moves!" he smirks before claiming her lips. As they sway with their lips locked, Laila can feel him begin to stiffen against her hips "Hmmm....someone seems to be enjoy themselves a little to much!" She winks.

He looks round checking no one is near, his lips brush against her ear "Can we head home? I got some other kinda moves I want to show you!" she giggles and bites her lip, "Let's go!" they say their goodbyes and head for the tube.

10 Minutes later.

Their underground train arrives empty, he sits and pulls her onto his lap. He captures her lips, the kiss becomes heated, Harry pulls off his coat and places it on her lap. His hand creeps under his coat snaking into her jeans "Bear, not here!" she whispers, he smirks against her lips continuing his trail. He lets out a soft growl. He reaches her hidden jewel, her head rolls back as his lip pepper down her neck.

She bites back a moan as he works between her slick slits.

Through the speaker they hear the next station is their stop, they both groan with disappointment. "Come on, we can continue this at home!" she gets up as the train pulls into their station.

2 Weeks later.

It's the day before Christmas Eve, Laila has just finished her last day until the new year, she wanders into the kitchen, "Oh, Harry! You're home early!" she was sure he mentioned he was training Stu tonight.

He's leaning against the kitchen counter with a whiskey in his hand, he looks over to her "I canceled Stu's PT session....Laila, there's something I need to tell you..."

He looks as if what he's about to tell her is tearing him up inside, her minds goes into overdrive....Was history repeating itself?

"Bear?" she looks at him concerned, he takes a deep breath "When I came back today to take Mabel for a walk at lunch....I bumped into Nessa." she laughs, "What is she annoyed we didn't get her to take Mabel out today?" he silently chuckles, but it quickly fades. "She was walking another client's dog, she asked if she could join Mabel as I was taking her over to the fields. We were just sat on a bench talking...she asked me about work and us. Then this afternoon she turned up at my work for a PT session, I didn't even know she booked. I was giving her a tour of the gym and she tried to kiss me..."

Laila's cheeks burn, but soon drain cold "What?!" was all she could conjure up from her lips. "Laila, I promise you as soon as she leaned in I stepped back. I was just as confused as you are, I asked her to leave after that." she can see he's just as shocked as she is "Laila? Please say something!" he softly pleads with her.

She sighs, making her way over to him cupping his face "Looks like we need to find a new dog walker." she laughs, he rolls his eyes at her. "Hey, It's not the first and probably won't be the last time a client tries to make a move on you....I remember a client making some more steamier moves on you about 7 months ago," she grins at him. He laughs, "Those were wanted moves!" he reminds her. "More than wanted...just look at what happened that night...but I'm glad you told me about Nessa." she pushes up on her tiptoes to kiss his nose.

"I've never given another woman a tour of the changing rooms since." he laughs before continuing "That is how and why we work because we are honest with one another!" he kisses her nose. "OK, can I be really honest..Bear?" he nods, "You stink!! Did you not shower before coming home?" Laila baits him. "Oh, I do? Do I?" he raises a brow to her.

With that he throws her over his shoulder "Harry?! Put me down!" she screams between her laughter. "Sorry, my love that's a no!"  his hand strikes her arse cheek as he begins to climb the stairs with her over his shoulder. "Harry!!"

Later.

Cuddled up on the sofa watching a film "Bear?" he hums in response. "Can I be the one to sack Nessa?" she giggle, he starts searching her hair, "Harry, what are you doing?" she asks. "Looking for your devil horns," he chuckles, "But if it makes you happy...Yes, you can sack her.... to be fair, it means I don't have to deal with her," he starts to stroke her hair back down "Now how to do it? Mwahahaha!!" she fakes an evil laugh, "You really are the devil!" he smiles at her "Oh, you've seen nothing yet, Bear!" she winks.

@aussieez​ @secretaryunpaid​ @lem-20​ @irisofpurple​ @khoicesbyk​ @txemrn​ @wombatsxkookaburras​ @beautifuluknownvoid​

He pulls her onto his lap, so she's straddling him, he cups her face "Why don't you show me?" his lips crash to hers.

Chapter 4

#aty #Addicted to You #harry x laila #ATB #Original Work #original writing #original character #pixie88 original #original story #@pixie88

[helloalycia]

solar flare // kara danvers

SUMMARY: Unaware that your girlfriend is Supergirl, things get a little confusing when she gets into an accident that should have threatened her life.

WARNING/S: mentions of death.

Author's note: this has been sat in my drafts for a looooong time, along with a bunch of other stuff that I'll probably be putting out over the next few days. Sorry it's a little shit lol 

masterlist

       I felt my dreamscape fading as I realised somebody was shuffling next to me, eventually making me open my eyes tiredly. I realised it was Kara, evidently uncomfortable, trying to find a comfortable position. I groaned quietly, trying to wake myself up a little more so I could ask her what's wrong.

       "Sorry," she whispered, sounding exhausted.

      "Mmmt's okay," I mumbled incoherently, before motioning for her to come closer.

      She instantly moved towards me, tucking her head into the crook of my neck. I wrapped my free arm around her waist, resting my hand on the slight exposed skin where the hem of her shirt was. I heard her breathe out contently and I pressed a gentle kiss to the top of her head before trying to fall asleep again.

      That morning, I ended up waking up before Kara, so I did my usual boring routine before deciding to cook some breakfast for us both. It didn't take long and by the time I was done, Kara walked into the kitchen area, a sleepy smile on her lips.

      "Good morning," she said, approaching me with open arms.

      I accepted her hug with a smile, kissing her cheek before saying, "Morning, sleepyhead. I made breakfast."

      "I can see that," she noted, staring out at the island, where everything was. "You didn't need to do that."

      I ushered her to take a seat as I said, "It's nothing special unfortunately. Just some eggs and whatnot. Buuuuut I figured since I'm here, I may as well make the effort. It might make you reconsider about us moving in together."

      Kara sighed, massaging her forehead with discomfort. "Y/N..."

      "If it's about staying in your flat, I'm completely okay with it," I added hopefully. "I mean, of course I'll miss my place, but if it means I get to see you every day then it's worth it, right?"

      "Y/N, please, not today," she said, giving me a pleading look. "I'm just... I'm not in the mood."

      I breathed out slowly. "Right, sorry."

      Kara and I had been together for almost two years and I had proposed the idea of us moving in together a few months ago, since we pretty much spent most nights together anyway. I was instantly met with rejection, Kara claiming she wasn't ready. At first, I respected her decision, hoping it was just nerves and she'd eventually come around, but I was still waiting for the latter to happen.

      I served up breakfast and the two of us sat there in an awkward silence, until I finally decided to say something.

      "We still on for drinks with my friends after work?" I asked, glancing up at the quiet blonde.

      Kara's expression told me everything I need to know - she'd forgotten. After swallowing a sip-full of orange juice, probably to buy time, she nodded. "Yeah, yeah, of course. I'll be there."

      "You sure?"

      She nodded. "Of course."

      "If you're not up for it, it's fine," I said, giving her a knowing look.

      "I said I'll be there," she promised, dropping her fork to grab my hand and give it a supportive squeeze. "I'm not feeling well, but I'm sure it'll pass. Sorry for being off this morning... you hate me?"

      I gave her a small smile, unable to resist her adorable sparkling blue eyes. "I could never."

***

      "...it worked out though because I got the promotion, so yeah, that's how I got here," Y/BF/N finished explaining with a bright smile.

      "She says it so simply, but it took a lot of hardworking and perseverance on her part," her boyfriend, Hasan, added, making me laugh.

      "Oh, shut up," Y/BF/N said with a blushing face, nudging her boyfriend in the arm.

      I smiled at the two of them, admiring how cute they looked. I was having a long overdue catch up with my best friend and also meeting her new boyfriend. Well, they'd been together for almost six months, but he'd been on a business trip, so I was only just now meeting him. Kara was here, too, as promised, but she was acting a little off, worrying me a little. She was usually a bubbly personality, especially when it came to Y/BF/N, but all she'd been doing this evening was giving one-word responses and playing with my hand under the table.

      "You guys want any more drinks? I'm gonna get another," I said, already standing up.

      "Yeah sure, same again if you don't mind," Y/BF/N said.

      "Thanks," Hasan added, nodding.

      "Same again, got it," I said, before looking to Kara. "C'mon, Kara, you can give me a hand."

      She seemed reluctant, but nodded and allowed me to drag her away from the table and to the bar. I ordered the drinks as Kara spoke.

      "Did you really need my help to carry two drinks?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.

      I gave her a knowing look. "Kara, I asked for you help because I want to know what's wrong with you."

      "What do you mean?"

      "Kara, you know what I mean," I said. "You're acting weird and the others are beginning to notice. What's wrong?"

      She sighed, frowning and avoiding my eyes. "I don't really want to be here..."

      "Here's your drinks, Miss," the bartender said, pushing two glasses towards me.

      "Cheers." I nodded his way before looking back to Kara with worried eyes. "I asked you this morning if you were still up for it. And again before we came in here."

      "I know, but I just don't feel well," she admitted, giving me an apologetic glance, "and you were really looking forward to tonight."

      I grabbed her hand, squeezing it gently. "Kara, I'm sorry if I made you feel like you had to come tonight. That wasn't my intention"

      "You didn't," she reassured, meeting my eyes.

      "Well, either way, I think we can call it a night," I said, giving her a small smile.

      "You don't have to leave just because of me-"

      "It's okay," I cut her off, grabbing the drinks from the bar. "Come on. Let's go back to mine."

      She followed me to the table and I set the drinks down before grabbing my jacket.

       “I'm really sorry, guys, but Kara isn't feeling too good, so I think we're gonna call it a night," I said with an apologetic smile. "It was really great to catch up though, and of course, to meet you Hasan."

      "Aw, okay, I hope you feel better, Kara," Y/BF/N said, standing up and pulling us both in for a hug. "It was nice to see you both again."

      "Thanks," Kara said, forcing a small smile.

      "It was a pleasure, ladies," Hasan said, giving us a quick hug. "Hopefully we can meet again soon."

      "Of course," I agreed, looking between them, before putting some money on the table. "Drinks are on me. Enjoy yourselves."

      Kara and I left the bar, only to find ourselves in some terrible weather. It was chucking it down, making us both stay standing under the the umbrella extending from the roof of the bar.

      "Damn, okay, this isn't going to help with you not feeling well," I muttered, glancing out at the road to see if I could spot a taxi. I looked to Kara, saying, "Just wait here. I'm gonna try and get a taxi for us."

      Kara nodded and I headed out from the umbrella, feeling the cold rain smack down on me harshly. I sighed and stood on the edge of the pavement, looking out to see if I could spot a taxi in the distance. Eventually, in the darkness, I could spot the familiar yellow bumper of a taxi under the nearest street lamp, so I raised my hand to get its attention. It flashed its headlights briefly, so I lowered my hand and watched as it came to stop by me, except as it tried to pull over to the side, its tyres skidded in the rain and propelled the car towards at me at a dangerous speed.

      I barely had the chance to register what was happening because everything moved so fast. One second I was stood at the edge of the pavement with headlights beaming at me, and the next I was on the wet ground, trying to understand why people were shouting around me.

      "Miss, are you okay? Can you hear me?"

      I looked up and saw a stranger trying to help me stand up. I looked around with confusion, only to see a few people gathered around a body in front of the taxi. A few more people were helping the taxi driver out of his cab and I realised that I was about to get hit, but someone had pushed me out the way. Wait a minute...

      "Kara?!" I yelled, shoving the stranger out of my way to see if Kara was where I left her, but she wasn't.

      I immediately ran over to the body in front of the taxi and felt my heart drop to the pit of my stomach when I saw the state she was in.

      "Kara, oh my god, no, Kara," I cried out, kneeling by her side.

      She was bleeding from her head, it soaking into her wet hair. The rain was washing the blood into a puddle all around her, which made me see the odd angle her leg was twisted in.

      "Please open your eyes," I begged, my own eyes blurring with tears. I cupped her face, hoping she'd wake up, but I knew it was impossible. I leaned down and held my breath, hoping she would breathe to let me know she was alive. After what felt like forever, I felt a tickle against my skin, and I sat up with relief.

      "We've called an ambulance, Miss," someone said from behind me, but I couldn't formulate a response because I was too focused on how pale Kara was getting as each second passed.

      The ambulance arrived soon enough, but I couldn't remember the specifics because it went by in a blur. They were hooking Kara up to a bunch of machines and it was frightening me, seeing her look so vulnerable. I must have called Alex at one point during the ride because when I got to the hospital and ushered to the waiting room, Alex was already there.

      When she saw me, she immediately came to give me a reassuring hug.

      "I'm sorry, Alex, I don't know why she did that," I rambled out, feeling the guilt sink in. "She said she didn't want to come and I shouldn't have made her because then we wouldn't be in this mess. I'm so sorry."

      Alex grabbed my arms and looked me in the eyes. "Y/N, calm down, it's okay. You can't blame yourself for what happened. But I need you to listen carefully, okay?"

      I nodded, still feeling discomfort in my gut.

      "I'm going to talk to Kara's doctors and get her transferred," she explained.

      I furrowed my brows. "Transferred? Why would you do that?"

      "I'll explain after, I just need you to stay calm and know that Kara will be okay."

      I shook my head. "Alex, she looked really bad. I'm scared that... I don't know."

      "I promise you she's going to be fine," she said confidently. "Now, I'm gonna talk to the doctors and when I get back, we're gonna take a drive."

      "Alex-"

      "Trust me, Y/N," she said, giving me a slight nod before leaving me standing in the waiting room, wondering what the hell was happening.

      Alex returned, as promised, and she led me to her car before driving us to God knows where. I tried to get some answers out of the older Danvers sister, but she refused to budge and insisted I'd find out eventually. So, I was left to worry about Kara's life and wondering why Alex was so sure she'd be okay. It was her little sister and she didn't even seem concerned?

      We reached our destination soon enough and I grew confused as I saw how secure this location was. I'd probably walked by this building so many times, yet never questioned its existence. I'd apparently never noticed the armed guards at the doors either.

      "Come on, this way," Alex finally spoke when we left the car.

      I sucked up a shaky breath and wiped away at my tears as I followed her through the building. The guards by the door seemed to know who she was as they straightened up with respect and let her pass. We took a lift up to which Alex seemed nervous, glancing my way every now and then. I desperately wanted to ask her where we were and if Kara was here, too, but I knew she'd give me the same response each time, so I stayed quiet.

      Finally, the doors opened and I widened my eyes with surprise, taking in the vast room before me. There were people dressed in uniform all around, some at control panels and their attention focused on the giant monitors on the wall, others walking around with serious expressions.

      I followed Alex like a lost lamb, letting her lead me up some stairs onto the balcony above. I tried to look around the room for a symbol or a logo - something that would tell me where we were, but I couldn't find anything distinguishable. I continued to follow Alex until we reached a room with glass windows, allowing me to see inside. I did a double take when I realised Kara was inside, laying on a bed, motionless.

      "Kara!" I shouted, already running inside to her bedside.

      I startled some of the (what I'm guessing are) nurses, as they moved out of my way. Alex waved her hand, signalling for them to leave.

      "Why is she here?" I asked, worriedly, realising she wasn't in surgery or being treated for her visible injuries. "What's this...?" I motioned to the light sources above her, emitting some sort of yellow light on her pale skin. "She should be in surgery or something. Alex!"

      I looked over my shoulder to see Alex stepping by my side, wrapping an arm around my shoulder and leading me away from her bedside for the moment. I wiped away my tears and waited for an explanation.

      "I know you're confused and you're scared, but Y/N, I need you to listen to me," Alex spoke calmly, never breaking eye contact. I nodded as she continued. "As crazy as this sounds, you need to believe what I'm about to say. Kara needs you to."

      "Alex, you're starting to scare me," I said, feeling shivers run down my spine. "What's wrong with Kara?"

      Alex bit her lower lip before taking a breath. "Remember how I said Kara is gonna be fine?" I nodded as she continued, "Well, she is. She looks battered and bruised now, but it's because she exerted her powers and has momentarily lost them. A solar flare."

      I stared at Alex like she was a ghost. "What the hell are you talking about?" I was convinced she'd lost her mind at this point. Maybe it was the shock of Kara's accident or something, but she was definitely not making sense.

      "Y/N, Kara is Supergirl," she said bluntly. "The reason she's been off lately is because she's been agitated that she doesn't have her powers and she can't help people."

      I gave her a confused look. "Alex, you sound insane!"

      "Look, we're at the DEO," she continued to explain, not fazed by my judgemental expression. "I'm the director. We work to handle any extra-terrestrial threats invading our planet and we do that with the help of Supergirl."

      I felt my heart rate increasing with every word she spoke. I could barely keep up with what she was saying.

      "My parents adopted Kara when she landed on Earth," she explained, and I tried to understand. "She wears those glasses to hide her identity and to help with her x-ray vision."

      "X-ray vision?" I squeaked helplessly.

      She nodded. "Yes. I can even show you the suit, but Y/N, I'm telling you this because I need you to understand that Kara will be fine. She's technically vulnerable like a human, but as soon as her powers come back, she'll heal with those UV lamps and be absolutely fine."

      Alex searched my eyes to see what I was thinking. I stared at her, letting her words digest, before finally speaking.

      "Please tell me you're joking."

      She groaned, before grabbing my shoulders. "Y/N! Look at her!" She twisted me around, forcing me to look at Kara. "She's Supergirl! You have to believe me."

      I knew she was right, as much as I didn't want to admit it. If I admitted it, it meant that she didn't trust me with her secret and that she made me worry for her life when she would be fine this whole time.

      "She didn't tell me," I finally spoke, my voice barely above a whisper.

      I calmed down a little, reassured that she would be okay, but that didn't change the fact that I thought she was going to die not long ago. I felt like hot water bubbling over, trying to settle after someone turned the gas off, but I couldn't quite keep up.

      "I'm sure she had her reasons, Y/N," Alex began sympathetically, but I cut her off.

      "How do I get out of here?" I asked, tearing my gaze away from Kara and looking to Alex.

      "You're leaving?" Alex sounded surprised.

      "She'll be fine, right?" I asked and Alex nodded, about to respond, but I rolled my eyes and gave her a sarcastic smile. "Of course she will be - she's the Girl of Steel! Now, how do I get out of here?"

      "Y/N, come on," Alex tried to reason.

      "Come on what? She didn't-" I swallowed the lump in my throat. "She didn't tell me. There's nothing more to say. Now, please let me go home."

      Alex searched my eyes for something more, and when she found nothing, she sighed and nodded before leading me out. I glanced at Kara one last time, feeling distaste at the thought of everything that had just happened, before following Alex.

***

      I found myself lounging on my couch the next day, sulking into a bowl of popcorn as I watched The Office reruns. I was trying to use the show as a distraction, but all that was on my mind was Kara. I tried to imagine her as Supergirl, remembering all those times I'd seen the hero on the news or flying in the sky. That was her.

      All those times when she'd bail on a date last minute, or when she'd leave a date early... it made sense. Why she didn't like the idea of taking a mini vacation with me, or sleeping over at hers all the time. I thought it was a weird quirk of hers, or that she was insecure about something, but no, she was too busy flying around National City.

      And that explained why she didn't want to move in together. She hadn't told me the truth about her, so moving in and seeing her act even more secretive would raise questions. Here was me thinking she was losing interest, but no, she was hiding a huge part of herself.

      I constantly tried to wonder why she didn't trust me. I mean, almost two years of being together was a long time. I thought I knew everything about her and vice versa. Why was this any different? I could care less if she was an alien and she knew that, so what was the reason?

      Kara let me believe she was human. Vulnerable, breakable and soft, like me. She got hit by a car and let me believe, even for a moment, that she could have died. That it would have been my fault that she died, or at least, suffered major injuries. She let my mind run around with those horrible thoughts and scenarios, let it break me apart as I watched her limp, bruised and battered body lying on the wet tarmac.

      She didn't tell me the truth.

      I groaned loudly and stuffed more popcorn into my mouth when I realised I was getting stuck in my thoughts all over again - the same thoughts that had kept me up all night. I tried to focus my attention on what was happening on the TV when I heard a knock on my door.

      I rolled my eyes and glanced at the door before choosing to ignore whoever it was and wallow in my own self-pity.

      "Y/N, I know you're in there!" a voice called from the other side of the door, and I recognised it as Kara's.

      I clenched my jaw and ignored her.

      "I can see you watching TV," she said in a hushed voice. "Please open the door. I have to explain."

      "That must be the x-ray vision, right?" I called back, bitterly.

      I heard her sigh. "If you don't open the door, I'm gonna come in."

      "That would be breaking in," I reminded her, before getting comfortable on the couch. "Go away."

      It went quiet and I assumed she'd listened, but then I heard a loud crack. I looked to the door with a puzzled expression and stared wide-eyed at Kara, who had twisted the door knob enough to break the lock. She stepped in and pulled a face at the slight crack in the lock.

      "I'll get that fixed, I swear," she said quickly, glancing up at me.

      "You can't just break into somebody's home like that!" I yelled at her, standing up to glare at her.

      "You're not somebody," she pointed out, closing the door behind her, "and I told you I would come in."

      I crossed my arms across my chest, narrowing my glare. Admittedly, I was taken aback by the lack of injuries she had. Or should I say absence of injuries. I knew Alex said she would heal like nothing had happened, but it was different to see it with my own two eyes. It was like the accident had't happened. The colour was back in her skin, her head wasn't bleeding, she was walking. She looked as good as new, save for the sudden super strength I had just witnessed. Another thing I should have expected but was still surprised to see.

      "I have to explain myself," she began, carefully.

      "Alex caught me up on everything," I said angrily, "Supergirl."

      She frowned, looking down at her shoes guiltily. "I wanted to tell you, Y/N."

      I raised an eyebrow. "Oh? Was that before or after you almost died? Because saving an important piece of information like the fact that you're fucking indestructible would have been nice to know before I thought you were going to die because of me!"

      "Y/N-"

      "No!" I shouted, feeling my eyes grow watery at the reminder of last night. "You let me believe the worst, Kara! I thought you were going to die! You didn't see what I saw, okay?! There was blood and there- there were so many scratches and the puddle was turning r-red and I thought you were leaving me and it- it would be my fault because I made you come to see my friends and- and- and-"

      "Y/N, it's okay," she cut in, moving forward to stand me up straight.

      I was crying, I realised, my throat closed up and my vision blurred. I was too upset to push her away, and the warmth coming from her skin reminded me that she was here and alive and well, only intensifying my sobs.

      "Y-you should have told me," I cried into her shoulder. "I thought you were going to leave me."

      She wrapped her arms around me and squeezed gently, reassuringly. "I know," she agreed, her voice hoarse. I felt her nod several times as she said, "You're right. I should've told you. I'm sorry, Y/N. I'm so sorry."

      I swallowed thickly, trying to get rid of the lump in my throat. "Why didn't you?"

      She breathed out as I quietened down, managing myself the best I could. She pulled away, letting me see her glassy blue eyes behind her glasses. She pulled her glasses off, pocketing them, before rubbing the bridge of her nose and meeting my eyes again.

      "It wasn't because of you," she reassured firstly. "It wasn't. I just kept putting it off. I didn't know how to say it and I never found the time. It's a stupid reason, I know. I wish I had something better. But I don't. I can only apologise, Y/N."

      I pursed my lips in thought. Her eyes were darting between mine nervously and I tried to think what I could say.

      "Do you hate me?" she spoke quietly, almost expectantly.

      I felt her grip on my waist loosen as she prepared herself for my answer. I shook my head.

      "I could never hate you," I answered. "I love you, Kara."

      A hint of a smile ghosted her lips as she looked down, breathing out with relief.

      "I want you to tell me everything," I continued, earning her attention. "I want to hear it from you."

      She nodded. "Of course."

      "And I want you to be honest with me from here on out," I added, giving her a knowing look. "You can't hide stuff from me, especially when it involves Supergirl."

      "I promise I'll tell you everything," she said with a nod.

      I read her expression, sensing the honesty. Satisfied with my instructions, I moved forward and wrapped my arms around her shoulders. I closed my eyes, appreciating her presence, even if she pissed me off a little.

      She returned the embrace, pressing a kiss to my neck before pulling me closer.

       “You'll never lose me," she said quietly. "I promise."

#kara danvers imagine #kara danvers x reader #kara danvers imagines #supergirl x reader #supergirl imagine

[thehistoricalgods]

My Experience With Ares

I've been meaning to write this for a while, and by “a while” I mean since I started this blog a few months ago. I could just never find the words and so I'd angrily delete my drafts because it wasn't right. Phrasing was off and words were inaccurate and it just wasn't clicking the way I wanted it—to convey my actual love for Ares and how much he's done for me. Just, all around, his importance in my life.

But, for better or worse, I'm putting these thoughts down now. This is going to be another long post and I'm apologizing in advance because I'm primarily a mobile user and, unfortunately, can't do a "read more" thing, so you'll just have to muscle through it. Yeah, I know. I basically suck.

So, Ares.

I guess, in order to properly begin, you need some context on my personal life. My self-proclaimed godfather died a couple years back of lung cancer, when he was around 94—he was a soldier through and through, and one of the first Mexican-Americans to receive a Medal of Honour, specifically for his bravery in Vietnam, but he'd stormed the beaches of Normandy when he was 15, and only resigned in 1998, when his wife finally talked some sense into him. He had been a colonel at the time. Anyway, he'd been a huge influence on me: he took care of me like my dad, who is also a military man, but not as kind and down to earth as my godfather was. I could go on forever about him, really, but I'll abstain, because this post isn't about him.

So when he died, I was broken-hearted. I wasn't even able to be there for him, since he went to a hospital in Spain, because he was born in Barcelona and he wanted to die in Barcelona. Of course, I was able to visit him, but I felt awful because I never got to say a proper goodbye. My parents understood, of course, they loved him too—he was my grandfather's best friend and his son always did a lot to help out our family.

So yeah. I needed comfort, badly. And, at the time, I was a super baby Hellenistic Polytheist and was just sort of looking for someone to just take away the pain I was feeling. Hades and Persephone, of course. Hestia.

But then I thought, almost out of nowhere, what about Ares? The god of war and soldiers and battle. Surely, I could get some comfort from his presence.

Unfortunately, there weren't a lot of resources on him—he's a war god, and what with most pagans being generally pretty pacifistic, there wasn't much to go off of.

So, I waited until I was home alone, cleaned up my room, and lit a red candle and just ... started talking.

At first, I was super formal about it, and said prayers and recited hymns. Anything to get his attention. Even just a little bit. I poured a libation and gave him an offering of a book about battle strategy. And I introduced myself. And just talked. Poured my heart out, really.

And soon enough, I could feel his presence, and it was comforting. Strong and protective and sort of a motivational thing. You can do this. You can overcome this. You can conquer these feelings.

Unlike some people, I don't have super distinct 'conversations' with the gods most of the time. I just talk to them and, on the occasions they're with me, let their presence envelope me like a blanket. I just let the emotions wash over me.

After an hour of bearing my soul to Ares, everything felt better. I felt better. Not healed, but I wasn't bottling everything up anymore. I'd let it out, and Ares sort of let me focus my energy on that. It was like a friend letting you rant, listening intently as they hold your hand.

So that was the beginning of my relationship with Ares. I became an active worshipper after that. The more I learned about him, the more I loved him. (As I researched him, I also did Aphrodite, and gods if I don't love them both with my whole heart). His presence is fiery and strong and warm. He's something to lean on. He's dependable, loyal, and, with me growing up in a family from a hyper-militarized culture, he really just worked for me. Not that my other gods don't, but it was a presence I was familiar with and thrived off of.

Along with the rest of them, he's there when I battle my depression—he's the definition of motivational speakers, just always yelling about his I got this, I can do this, make my problems my bitch. He wasn't like the supportive and warm Hestia, the inspiring and loving Aphrodite, the firm and fatherly figure of Hades, nor the relentless and blunt nature of Persephone. He was something entirely his own. Obviously.

I devoted myself to him faster than any other gods, save Hades. I just couldn't see any other path that I wanted. Serving Ares? Best thing ever. No regrets. I wouldn't change a thing.

He's who I go to when I need to rant, just let things out, or when I have something tough coming up and I need a quality kick in the pants to remember my self worth and that I can do this, and I will. Or when I'm studying wars and stuff in history, I like to light a candle and just kind of be like, this is for you.

So yeah. That's it. I just wanted to talk about Ares for a bit. Maybe later I'll make a post on my personal associations with him and acts I normally devote to him and things I've offered him.

— The Historical Gods

#ares

[jokerfic]

Can I ask you to share your writing process a bit (I don't remember if you've answered a question like that before)? I think you once said that you write the whole thing first and then brush it up as you publish chapter by chapter; do you draw a storylines map (real or mental), write down things you surely want to include and then with that research you go in, or you go with the flow, so to speak?

For sure! I might have talked about it once or twice but it would’ve been a long time ago and anyway things change over time

I used to always physically write out an outline for every story, with bullet points, sub-sections, all that good stuff. These days I use a google doc for notes and outlines, and my outlines are more paragraphs/sections of pre-written dialogue stitched together in roughly chronological order for me to use as a sort of map to get from point a to b to c and so on. Important plot or character details get written down just so I won’t forget them if I end up not working on the story for a while (learned that one the hard way). I also jot down songs and words and turns of phrase that seem like they belong and might or might fit into the final product.

just for example, this is just a look at my notes doc for the new Joker/OC fic I haven’t really done much with yet (but have like 10 pages of notes for):

It functions as a sort of toolchest that I put together over time and pull from as I work, but it’s all pretty fluid. Some things don’t get used at all, some things get co-opted by other fics– it’s part of why I do write a full first draft before I start sharing anything publicly; primarily it’s because I’m pretty shitty at continuity unless I can look at the whole thing at once but it’s also because it gives me a longer time to look at what I’ve written and decide what doesn’t work, what’s clumsily done and needs to be cut or re-written. (spoiler alert for myself but if something doesn’t sit well with me the first time I re-read it then it’s not going to get any better and I’m better off cutting it and writing something different than waiting and hoping it will!)

I love having my notes, but when it comes to the actual writing process I’m very much a “discovery” writer, wherein I sit down knowing what I need to achieve plotwise, but the details, dialogue, and overall means of getting these people from one plot point to another are 95% a mystery to me, and they come to me as I’m putting the words down.

(I miss being in college and being able to stay up till dawn most nights because this style of writing works much better if you have eight hours in which to really immerse yourself in the zone, and now I have a full time job and a mortgage and 1 dog and 2 cats and it is much more difficult to find the time to just write 😣 woe!)

I write more days than I don’t, but because of life stuff it’s often just chunks of 500 words here and there and it takes a while to get a full draft going– but I hate the times when I just go without writing at all for like a month, so I make an effort to do at least a little bit most days, even if it’s something purely self-indulgent that’ll never see the light of day. My most productive days, though, are when I do have extra time and can shut myself up in my room with just a reading lamp on, a movie score playing (lately I favor the Annihilation soundtrack), and using this app to keep me from getting distracted while I work. Fingers crossed for more of those.

idk if this was the sort of answer you wanted, let me know if you have other questions about it all!

#marirable #this question was hard to answer lmao #bc for me it's a process and it's not a verbalized thing it's something i do so translating it made me all tongue-tied so to speak #also not sure if it's relevant but when i'm writing for j i watch a lot of horror movies #he lives in a lot of them you just have to find him

[loneleesoul]

Paparazzi

this is kinda like, obsessed reporter peter, finally gets to meet his idol tony stark, but tony knows that peters madly in love with him and offers him a thing he couldnt possibly refuse, i added Paparazzi by Lady Gaga because 1 i love her and 2 the song is kinda like an obsessed paparazzi obsesses over someone, anyways enjoy.

--------

Peter had been working at the Daily Bugle for a while, it was an easy job.

It was also his favourite part of the day, even better than being Spider-Man.

He got to see him every day.

It was a little bit of an understatement to say he was obsessed or crushing. There was no word that could even come close to describe how Peter felt.

He basically stalked Tony Stark, hanging on every word, getting a picture from every angle. Opening doors and secretly buying his coffee. He knew that Tony could afford it, but Peter got some sickly pleasure from doing things for Tony.

A pleasure that Peter felt would get worse if he were to actually do sexual favours for him. It was already hot enough to watch the look he gives him when Peter opens the door. Or the signature smile when he poses for pictures.

God don't even get Peter started on Tony's voice, a deep baritone. Every syllable and noise goes straight to Peter's sensitive ears and just.. does crazy insane things to him.

It makes him melt, the soft grunts he wished he could hear in the bedroom, the soft praised he gave to fans as encouragement. He wanted that.

He needed that.

He's craved it for years, and he sure as hell deserves it.

He's ignored all of his other assigned celebrities to photograph and interview, it was just him. Only him.

It eventually became a problem and he was fired, but he still followed Tony everywhere. Pretending to be a reporter, only to find out the information he could never ask as a professional reporter.

One day, Tony speaks to him. "Why don't we have coffee? You've been following me around for months. I guess you haven't gotten any answers."

Peter agrees immediately, desire pooling in his gut. He wanted Tony to take him to... anywhere private, bend him over any surface and fuck him senseless.

"Do you like your lovers in lingerie?

"What's your favourite position?"

"Daddy...."

"I've been waiting for so long, I need you."

Peter has to force himself from saying the filthy words in his head. His Spider Senses have been frying his brain, he's nearly overstimulated by the time Tony sits down across from him.

"So, you're obsessed with me." Tony starts, freaking the hell out of Peter.

"I-" He squeaks, setting down his notes. "I'm joking, it's your job to follow me right?" Tony laughs, the sound heading straight to Peter's cock.

Peter smiles, "Yeah, I'm a big fan."

Fucking understatement of the year.

"That's great, I love my fans." Tony beams back at him and Peter quickly wonders how soft his hair is.

He has to refrain from asking, smiling sweetly. "I love you."

fuck

His smile falters, heartbeat rapidly out of control and about to shatter against his ribs.

Tony chuckles. "At least let me buy you dinner first."

"I- I mean, your story! Sorry I tend to forget to finish sentences and make an ass of myself! I mean, you like changing your father's company and becoming Iron Man, a hero and legend. Fighting evil and saving lives." Peter trails off, somewhat sated as Tony's smile grows.

"Are you really a reporter?" He asks, twirling the straw in his cup.

Peter's taken completely off guard. "W-What? Of course I- fuck." He sighs.

"I was fired a few days ago, but I never finished my work on you." He says, and it's not technically a lie, or the truth either.

Tony sighs, a smile still on his face. "You're adorable kid. I understand it's hard losing your job, especially when you have to buy me coffee secretly without me knowing." Tony smirks.

Peter's frown grows. "I'll find another job, and I honestly thought I was smooth in buying all of those drinks." Peter says sullenly.

"Well I mean, you only bought me like 236 coffee's this year alone, so I guess I owe you."

fuck me.

"What?" Peter ignores the dark desire in the back of his mind.

"Hmm, let's see, around 250 drinks. I owe you 1,000.. 4-ish per coffee." Tony pulls out a wad of cash and Peter is speechless. Disappointed he wasn't offered anything else.

"I- I can't accept this." He mutters, suddenly remembering that he's been stalking his man for months, obsessing over him for years.

Taking money from him, with or without consent or knowledge seemed wrong.

"You can and you will, it's not even that much kid." He smirks then adds. "Gotta make a living somehow."

"I'd rather earn that money, Mr. Stark."

"Well, then we're in business Mr. Parker." Tony puts his hand out to shake and Peter feels like he's in a dream.

He's glowing with pride and victory, he could get whatever he wanted from a man wanted by millions.

--------

He's well succeeded earning the thousand in coffee cash, he was just doing it not to please Tony.

Idol, dolden dream, daddy... his sugar daddy.

Just another thing he could call Tony

--------

as usual this turned to hot garbage near the end, sorry but tumblr tends to not save drafts ive worked on for hours, so this was written in about 70-80ish minutes, but y'all dont really care. if you want more then lemme know, i really need to fix my life.

[hawthornewhisperer]

Hey, congrats on the baby 💕💕 also, if i remeber correctly, you had written a bellarke fic but you said you wouldn't post until becho ended in canon or smth, but it never did. Do you still have plans to post it? I remember i read a snippet of it and it was incredible so i'm just really curious about what you plan on doing with it (i really wish you'd post it but i totally get if you don't want to). Anyways you're amazing and i love your writing. Best of luck and lots of happiness to your family

Thank you!! I do have a bellarke fic that’s been sitting in my drafts since this summer, but it’s not *quite* finished.  (Maybe...80% done? It’s close, but there’s still a bit to go, and enough that I’m not comfortable posting and assuming I can finish it on schedule.)  Unfortunately, morning sickness slammed into me like a freight train right around the same time canon and fandom made it difficult for me to keep writing, so I put it off for a bit and I just haven’t quite managed to get back to it.

Plus....yeah, be.cho is a thing for just over half of the fic, something that people, to put it mildly, made abundantly clear to me they weren’t super happy about.  So I planned on waiting until it was over in canon, and then it *wasn’t* over in canon, and real talk you guys, I got suuuuuper burned out on writing 2 disclaimers per 500 word ficlet saying “hey can you please keep your negative be.cho feelings off this post” and it still! not! working!

And look, there’s literally no way I can talk about this without sounding like I’m scolding people which is really not what I want to do, but it was exhausting.  And nothing I did worked! Nothing! Sometimes they were comments that people clearly thought were innocuous but were still draining to read, sometimes they were DMs yelling at me for asking people to keep those thoughts to themselves, sometimes they were outright shitty reviews on Ao3 about how I’m an embarrassment for liking both ships.  And I got that gem of a (now deleted) review like, two months ago, so I straight up have no faith that a bellarke fic that features heavy be.cho content will actually be received in a manner that is not stressful for me at this point in time.  I cannot control how a fandom as large and unwieldy as this one reacts to things, and since “polite disclaimers on even short ficlets” were not successful, I think for now, at least, that fic is gonna remain shelved for my own mental health.

Now, who knows-- maybe a few months from now I’ll be like “fuck it, bring on the storm” and post it, but as for right now it’s not in the cards, I’m sorry.  I’ve gotta do what brings me joy, and publishing something that is basically guaranteed to get me yelled at isn’t any fun.  (I’m even nervous about posting this reply publicly because of how shitty people got last season.  But I’m gonna hope that people read this in the spirit it’s intended, which is basically “here’s why that fic isn’t getting posted; please understand that’s my own personal choice and respect that.”)  This answer is a lot longer than you probably wanted, but I have been feeling guilty about not finishing that fic and felt like people deserved an explanation.

Lastly: thank you so much for your kind wishes about my family, and if you’re ever interested, remember that I do have original writing available too.

Thanks for being understanding!

xoxo, hawthornewhisperer

#sorry for the self promo hustle there at the end #but hey babies are expensive or so I've heard #alicekingsss

[today-only-happens-once]

Im new to Hamilton and have an idea on the plot but don't fully understand it. Could you help out?

*tries not to immediately start babbling about how much I adore and will defend this show omg* first, understand my sweet anon that I have absolutely zero chill about Hamilton. So you have come to the right place but also be ready for way more information than you probably cared to know. 

Hamilton is a rap/hip-hop opera written by Lin-Manuel Miranda based on the life and death of United States Founding Father, Alexander Hamilton. It features a predominantly minority cast (which is its greatest point of controversy). If you’ve listened to the soundtrack, you have heard all but one scene of the show. It is based on Ron Chernow’s biography, which Miranda read while on vacation. It is hard to briefly summarize the plot, but I’ll do my best. (I kept it as brief but thorough as i could and it was long as heck so I put it under a cut, friend)

The opening number gives us a crash course on Hamilton’s background as an immigrant from the Caribbean. In the beginning of the show, he meets Aaron Burr, Lafayette, John Laurens, and Hercules Mulligan. All of them end up joining the military shortly before the American Revolution breaks out. Once it does, Aaron Burr attempts to win the good graces of Washington only for Washington to request Hamilton to be his right hand man. Hamilton agrees. 

While fighting the war, he meets Angelica and her sister Eliza at a ball. Angelica has a crush on Hamilton but realizes that Eliza likes him too, and on top of that, Angelica is expected to “marry up” since she is the oldest sister. Hamilton is of poor means, so for all kinds of strategic and sad reasons, Angelica decides to take a backseat and lets Hamilton and Eliza meet and fall in love. Eliza and Hamilton get married.

Back at the war, things are falling apart but Hamilton is doing his best to help Washington pull through. But Hamilton is a hothead and impulsive and when a disgraced soldier starts ranting publicly about Washington and blaming him, Hamilton challenges him to a duel (or rather, has his friend Laurens challenge him to a duel). The solider gets shot in the duel and Washington finds out and sends Hamilton home as punishment. This is how Hamilton finds out that Eliza is pregnant. 

BACK AT THE WAR (there’s a lot of back and forth in the first act), Lafayette tells Washington that he has a plan but like, Washington really needs Hamilton yo. So Washington sends a letter and Hamilton goes back to the war-front but now is like “cant be so impulsive i gotta kid on the way”. ANYWAY he helps Lafayette and Washington win the battle of Yorktown which wins the war.

Now, as a side-note, Aaron Burr had fallen in love with the wife of a British soldier. She had his daughter, named Theodosia after her mother, but I think either died or stayed with the British dude so we never get to meet her but we do know Burr has a daughter now.

Also, Washington becomes president.

The show then speeds through a bunch of years following the war effort in one song (”Non-Stop”) in which we learn that Hamilton and Burr both worked as lawyers. During these years also was, of course, the formative years of our government in which the Constitution was getting drafted.  Hamilton works on the Federalist papers to help the Constitution get accepted. Burr refuses to help him with it, but it gets passed anyway and Hamilton is generally showing Burr up left and right. Thus ends Act 1. 

If act 1 is about the war, act 2 is about the politics. Thomas Jefferson shows up from when he’d been in France during the war and is asked to be Secretary of State while Hamilton is asked to be in charge of the Treasury. They show two political debates throughout act 2 that shows how they butt heads: the first being about whether the federal government should “assume states’ debts and establish a national bank” (Hamilton is in favor, Jefferson is against) and the second being about whether or not the US is obligated to assist France with their revolution (Jefferson says yes, Hamilton says no). Hamilton is trying to establish a banking system for the government and do his job but politics are politics and they’re complicated.

Meanwhile, Eliza wants Hamilton to take a break and spend some time with his family but Hamilton is all like “i got sh*t I gotta do” and refuses to take time off. This leads to Eliza going to visit her family for a few weeks upstate but Hamilton stays behind and ends up having an affair with Maria Reynolds. Maria’s husband finds out and basically blackmails Hamilton into giving him money to keep quiet about the ongoing affair. 

Also, Washington decides to not run for President anymore and John Adams takes over.

As political tensions run even more high, Burr, Jefferson, and Madison (who supports Jefferson) figures out that something fishy is going on with Hamilton regarding money. They assume he’s basically taking money from the government and pocketing it for his own benefit. When they confront him about it and accuse him of treason, Hamilton is like “AW NAW IM JUST HAVING AN AFFAIR HERE’S THE EVIDENCE” and they’re like “yikes but a’ight you’re not treasonous i guess and nah we wont tell anyone”. 

Hamilton is afraid they won’t be true to their word, though, and writes the Reynolds Pamphlet basically saying “hey world i had an affair which is bad but i promise i didn’t commit treason”. Eliza finds out and is devastated and angry. 

Now, remember how I mentioned that Hamilton had a baby? Yeah, turns out it was a son. And that son hears someone talking trash about his dad and is like “imma fight you” and challenges the guy to a duel. Hamilton doesn’t want his son to get hurt and tells him to shoot his gun in the air instead of at the other person, and how the other person should do the same if they’re “truly a man of honor”. Duels are mostly about having the guts to show up anyway. 

But WOOPS because the other guy doesn’t shoot in the air, he shoots Hamilton’s son, and the son dies. 

Devastated and grief-stricken, Hamilton and Eliza move upstate and Hamilton… well, just listen to “It’s Quiet Uptown”. I can’t do it justice here (not that I’m doing any of the rest of this show justice with this summary but yanno)

Now the next Presidential election is up and people are actually campaigning now because Burr is tired of not getting what he wants so he decides to go out and get it. So it’s Jefferson vs Burr and the public keeps harassing Hamilton for his opinion. Hamilton backs Jefferson because even though Hamilton has never agreed with him, he appreciates that he’s at least honest and forthright with his opinion whereas Burr never wants to commit to anything. 

Jefferson wins the election.

This pisses Burr off and he challenges Hamilton to a duel. Hamilton agrees. 

He aims his pistol at the sky, just like he told his son.

Burr shoots him, and he dies.

Eliza is the one left behind to tell his story and continue his legacy. 

This ends our show. If you ever want to know more about characters or the controversies of it (I do have strong opinions on those whoops) or just about anything else regarding the show? I am always completely down to talk about it. I’ve written papers on it for college, I got to see it in Chicago a few months ago, I’ve basically memorized the album… I’m a huge Hamilfan. So don’t be afraid to hmu.

#hamilton #i could literally talk about this show for hours and hours and hours and hours

[marnie-mouse]

Lmao you're so petty about Avs doing better than Hawks this season. The entire point of my messages was to point out how past statistics don't matter. Yes the Avs haven't done well the past few season. Did they suck this season? No. You literally can't argue that the Avs suck presently. The Hawks did. Next season is a new start for everyone. That's how hockey works :)

cont.  i'm sorry but its literally crazy to say that a team who made it to the playoffs suck 😂 what even. i get that you hate avalanche but cmon. that's just petty coming from someone who's team finished in the bottom. and i'm a hawks fan btw and this season sucked for us but avalanche? there season was amazing. Fans like you are the reason why EVERYONE hates Hawks. I'm embarrassed to even like the same team than you.

Hello Anon, whom I can only assume is the same person because you apparently have the inability to come off of anon and speak to me like an adult. If this is three separate people or even two separate people, I’m sorry if you all get lumped in together, but I just don’t give a shit, and if you wanted to be addressed separately, you should have messaged me off Anon, or whatever.  

So let’s talk for a quick second about how all of this... conversation, for lack of a better word, came about. For all of those who are reading this, for whatever reason, and don’t know why this anon keeps messaging me about the Avs: 

So back in October, 12 games into the season, the Hawks, and the Avs played and the Hawks lost 3-6. Now the season before that, if anyone was paying attention, the Avs won 22 games... out of 82 games in the season. 

Hockey fans, what do we base future player contention, player attributes, and team compatibility on? 

If you said statistics then you are statistically correct. 

Statistics are the backbone of our sport. You can argue with me about that if you want to, but if you watch any type of hockey sports show or read any type of hockey sports report you cannot go a full page without someone talking about a CORSI stat or what the statistical chances are for a team to get the top draft pick or something to do with statistics.   

So anyway, the Hawks lost, I was live blogging, so I posted this: 

http://pattycakepeeks.tumblr.com/post/166899875232/oh-thank-gods-its-over

Literally, a post saying, “Thank God it’s over.” With a gif of a stressed-out woman. The tags were: #chicagoblackhawks #wellgetemnexttime  #easiestfuckingteamintheleague #UGGGHHHH 

From those tags came a 12 to 16-hour debate about the Hawks, the Avs, statistics, and defending my right to post what I want, on my blog, in my tags, and about a rival team. Keep in mind I did not tag the Avs at all, this was a Hawks post, on a primarily Hawks blog, about a Hawks’ fan’s opinion. 

The person I was arguing against said statistics don’t matter. 

Fast forward to yesterday.

So the Hawks play their last game, the Avs clinch a WC spot, and I’m spamming my blog with crying emojis about Sharpy and him retiring. I get an Anon message basically saying, “Remember when you said that thing about the Avs not finishing well in this season? Well, I hope you now see that stats don’t matter and that the Avs are good.” Or something like that.

I apologized for saying that the Avs wouldn’t do well, and then proceed to bitch them out because... what are you seriously showing me my receipts from October about a statistical prediction on how well a rival team is going to do this season? And calling me petty? On Anon? 

So that happens, I’m done with it, I tell them to come off anon if they want to have an actual conversation... Spoiler alert, they do not do that. 

Okay, so you guys are caught up. 

So, Anon, let’s talk. 

I’m pretty sure the definition of the word petty has something to do with a person going back to a conversation six months ago about something in someone else’s tags and basically saying, ‘I told you so’ because their team got lucky.  

I don’t care about the Avs, I also don’t like the Avs. You’re supposedly a hockey fan so you must know about rivalries. If you don’t, so the Hawks and the Avs are divisional rivals, the Hawks and the Blues are divisional rivals, the Hawks and the Red Wings used to be divisional rivals, but then the Red Wings switched divisions so they aren’t anymore. You can like any team you want, I don’t care, and I can dislike any team I want, you shouldn’t care, but it seems like you do. 

I’m not saying the Avs suck because they didn’t do well this season, I’m saying they suck because I don’t like them. I will never like them, and I don’t have to. 

I. Am. Shit. Talking. The. Avs. 

I’m not sure if you get that, but that’s what I was doing. I didn’t start this, I’m not particularly in love with shit talking the Avs, but that’s where we’re at, I guess.

Can you pretty please tell me some more about how hockey works? Because I don’t think I get it, and you just seem so well versed.

Such informed, much articulate.     

TL;DR So lets recap real quick: You get pissed about a tag that I put in my post six months ago about a team I don’t like, you argue with me then that Stats don’t matter and the power of belief is what the sport hockey is based on, I disagree. You eventually stop messaging me, lie in wait for six months, the Hawks don’t get the WC spot, the Avs do, and you, totally rational btw, find my blog, Anon message me, ‘I told you so’, and then incorrectly mansplain how hockey works while calling me petty at the same time.

I might be the type of fan that makes other hockey fans hate the Hawks, but you’re the type of fan that makes other hockey fans hate this fandom.

You know what’s beautiful about this website? You can block me, and never have to see anything that I post ever again, you can filter out tags and block people and pretty much just ignore me for the rest of your Tumblr hockey days, but instead, you choose to do this. 

I would block you if I could, but you’re on fucking Anon, you motherfucking coward. I’m pretty sure the Anon function wasn’t created so you and other assholes like you could come onto other people’s blogs and attack their opinion while hiding behind a keyboard, shouting pathetic excuses for arguments because I hurt your feelings when I said I didn’t like your team. 

If all of this didn’t clue you in, I just want to make sure you understand my overall message: 

Fuck you and your fucking shitty ass team, you bitch ass fucking coward.