#AND HOW I CANT BE VULNERABLE

[eazy-peazy54]

The songs that Iare the most relatable to me from In Case I Make It are Euthanasia and Against The Kitchen Floor

I MIGHT be cooked 🙏🗣🔥💯‼️ (I'm definitely cooked)

#also becoming the lastnames #starts sobbing #will wood #in case i make it #will wood and the tapeworms #EUTHANASIA MAKES ME THINK ABOUT MY MOM WHO HAS CANCER #STARTS SCREAMING AND THROWING UP /POS #i love that song but DAMN #WHYYYYY #will wood when i catch you #AGAINST THE KITCHEN FLOOR REMINDS ME OF HOW I CANT KEEP A STABLE FRIENDSHIP FOR THE LIFE OF ME GOOD GOD #AGAAGSHFADGJSKFLAKDFSDJHB #AND HOW I CANT BE VULNERABLE #BRO #STARTS DYING #okay rant over baiii :3

[watchingwisteria]

listen there really was just something about how in the book, snow’s 3-page descent from hesitant lover boy to deluded psychopath happens entirely in his mind. lucy gray gives him no indication whatsoever that she suspects him, that she’s going to leave or betray him. he’s just sitting quietly in the cabin waiting for her to return when that seed of calculated suspicion, which he has needed to survive the capitol, takes a hold of him and chokes the life out of any goodness left inside him. it really drives home your terror as a reader that “oh my god did he kill her? did she escape? what happened to her? why would he even think that?” in a way that when the movie had to adjust for visualization it lost some of that holy shit this guy has lost it emphasis.

#seeing some discourse and im not saying lucy grey didnt know #im saying she never dropped the kind of hints that she knew like she did in the movie #or if she did snow isnt worried about them until he very suddenly is consumed by them #snow is not concerned about whether or not she believed him. of course she did! hes snow! #but then shes gone…. for a while…… #and its the sudden immediate drastic unravelling that comes across so clearly in the book #that i knew wouldn’t translate to screen yet still cant help but miss #the hunger games #coriolanus snow #tbosas #lucy gray baird #not a crime or anything just a note that i cannot stop thinking about #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #this is all from memory of reading it quite a while ago. so maybe 3 pages is an exaggeration #but i remember it happening VERY quickly and without much external cause #like we as the reader have no indication as to whether shes nearby or not. #snow has no idea either. he just SUSPECTS. and his suspicion breeds the hatred that has been bubbling inside him all this time #he hates how she undoes him. he hates that he WOULD run away with her if shed let him keep his secrets #and he HATES more than anything that she makes him WANT to tell his secrets #he wants to be vulnerable and reveal the ugly nasty parts about himself and still be loved #but he does not let himself and it is everyone’s downfall #he chooses cruelty bc it is easy and familiar and makes him feel more powerful than the vulnerable give and take that real love requires

[ruporas]

drank too much

[ID: Digital Art of Vash and Wolfwood from Trigun Maximum. Vash’s body is turned slightly away from the viewer as he holds a staggering Wolfwood by his shoulder. He has one foot ahead of the other, the foot in the back used to stabilize himself from tipping over. Wolfwood is tethering into Vash, his weight pressed into him with his arms wrapped around Vash’s waist and his face is hidden away as he leans against Vash’s shoulder. Vash’s expression can be seen, his eyes wide and mouth tight-lipped, and his face is flushed red. A speech bubble comes out from Wolfwood, saying a drawled “Spikeyyy...”. The background are desaturated pastels of blue and green, showing night time, as they stand in the middle of an empty street that is also lit by the moon not depicted. Yellow light is seen coming from the inside of a saloon. End ID]

#vashwood #Vash the Stampede #nicholas d wolfwood #trigun #trigun maximum #when i think of who handles their alcohol best -- it's going to be vash naturally. considering his age but also his plant biology? #idk how his plant biology comes into things but it feels like it makes sense... and helps build his tolerance... also he's canonically #a bit of an alcoholic i think... one of his vices. and im sure ww drinks but his go-to comfort is through smoking not drinking #slight detour but the barkeeper was also like i'm the angel that provides drinks for these troubled souls. all i could think of is #a parallel from ww to vash... vash going thru this hell on his own during that point in the chapter and ww is the angel who will give him #his space and then also save him later. But anyway. that's a completely different topic. as a result of ww Not being much of a drinker #i feel like he'd be clingy... a LOT less verbal but more physically affectionate #i feel like he'd be able to speak as he normally does but when he wants to ask for something he'd just reduce it down to names #spikey needle noggin while tugging on vash's arm. vash explodes immediately #this is also very self indulgent if u cant tell. #i was just thinking that ww while sober is a hard cage to crack through no matter how close vw gets to one another. #while ww can end up being emotionally vulnerable -- has to at some point within their relationship -- he still just has tons of trouble #navigating his own personal wants. #ruporas art

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

When you try to Manipulate and Manwhore yourself out of a situation, and end up a Malewife.

[First] Prev <–->Next

#poorly drawn mdzs #MDZS #season 1 #wei wuxian #jiang cheng #lan wangji #I too am extremely vulnerable by people 'yes-and'ing me when I say things I expect them to react the opposite way to #WWX thinking LWJ is the same easily flustered teen as he was 15 years ago is a huge blunder but you cant really blame him #LWJ had 13 years of character development while you were napping (ghost style)!! #it is deeply hilarious how this plan does the opposite of what he wants #playing checkers while LWJ is playing chess kind of moves smh #LWJ is having the best day of his life while WWX is trying to find a way to distract him so he can start eating the pieces as a last resort #On another note; sorry i forgot JC's bangs in his last appearances. They reattached themselves to his sticky forehead

[oneday-yourside]

Harry's world/Bad end

Inspired by Christina's world by Andrew Wyeth

#I dont think people talk about the bad end enough #this is the social murder game you guys #i dunno #my health took a bit of a decline recently and my doctor forgot to get me a refill on my meds in time and it got me thinking #disability puts a person in such a vulnerable position #it doesnt matter how well Harry solves the case or how upstanding of an officer he tries to be #one drink is all it takes and he is left to die #he cant even run after them anymore... he doesnt even know where he lives #he's nothing but an addict to them #reduced to an animal... grovelling in the dirt #used for all hes worth and then thrown away once he cant work anymore #ive written about the bad end before and ill get back to it(after my fic about his mom is done) when i get the energy for it #its just so compelling!! #does anybody hear me??? #disco elysium #harry du bois #disco elyisum fanart #my art #illustration #also some people in the fandom do NOT see disabled ppl and addicts as people and it shows #ITS THE SOCIAL MURDER GAME

[ghouljams]

Can we get uhhhh

Faekonig reacting to liebling dropping the mask being tender or genuinely affectionate after a moment of anxious vulnerability for the first time around him, maybe something from trying to figure out how to manage the store has her break down a little?

The first time Liebling dropped her mask around König? Yeah it would have to be something related to the store or her personal life.

Tw: for a full on panic attack, also squint and you miss it abandonment issues, + shitty exes

You can feel the edges of an anxiety attack creeping in. Your stomach hurts, nausea rolling through you hard enough to make you wonder if your spontaneously caught a stomach bug. You check your phone, biting the inside of your cheek hard enough to bruise. Your fingers hover over your keyboard. You type and delete, type and delete. Set your phone down and rock on your heels as you lean against the counter.

It's suddenly too bright and too loud in the shop. You can feel your bones. You can feel your clothes rub against your skin like sand paper. You can feel your heart squeeze painfully behind your rapidly constricting ribs. You check your phone again, look at the time. Not even a minute since you last checked it. You open your phone again, sure you'll type something this time. Text your ex and ask them to fucking stop.

Your fingers- your hands shake, your screen unreadable behind the static buzzing in front of your eyes. You can't breathe. You want to curl up in a ball in a dark corner, and also you want to run, and also you sort of feel like you're actually dying? You set your phone face down on the counter and push the door open to the back of the shop as quickly as you can manage.

You can feel the eyes of your fae customers follow you. Monsters ready to pounce at the slightest sign of weakness. Probably aiming to eat you alive, bones and all. Your whole shop will probably be burgled while you're stuffing yourself into a corner behind one of the inventory shelves in the back. Then you'll be broke and dead. Your two least favorite things to be. At least back here no one can see you pull your knees to your chest and cry.

You heave in a breath, shuddering before your whole chest hiccups on a sob and suddenly the waterworks are flowing. God, everything is so bad. Your shop is overrun with monsters, your friends don't want to hang out with you anymore because you see monsters everywhere you turn, your ex is talking about your nudes on Twitter, you own a whole ass store that you don't want and taxes are so complicated!! You sob into your hands, trying to feel less like your skeleton is trying to shake its way out of your skin, like your heart has completely stopped beating. Hell, you barely can breath enough to sob with how tight your chest is.

There's a soft click as the door to the shop latches, you don't hear it over your absolute despair. You do hear the soft rustle of fabric as König sits down next to you. Feel his hands as they grip your shoulders and pull you out of your fetal position to rest against his chest. He curls around you like a huge protective teddybear, arms and legs bracketing you(small and safe and warm) with his lips pressed to the top of your head. You don't know if he pumps you full of his warm calming magic or if it's the way your ear presses against his chest but his heartbeat fills your perception. Steady, even, slow and calm.

"It's alright Schatz, I have you," he murmurs into your hair. You grip his shirt and press closer, curl up into your ball again and let him squeeze you tight. He keeps repeating it, that you're safe, you're alright, he's here and won't let you go. Everything you've always hated to be told, everything you've never believed. König doesn't lie, can't lie. You think that's why his voice settles you so well.

You hate crying in front of people, hate feeling so powerless, so worthless, around other people. So, why are you letting König comfort you?

He smells good, like dirt and crisp autumn air, like dead leaves and rain. You press your nose against him and breathe. You don't know why it's OK for König to be here, maybe it's because he seems to actually care for you, maybe it's because you can't string together a thought long enough to tell him to leave, but he's helping. You stay like this for a while, wrapped up in König's arms, breathing in his scent, listening to his heartbeat. Just until you don't feel like you're dying.

"Don't tell anyone I cried," you mumble, trying not to wipe your nose on his shirt, probably your least favorite part of crying.

"Your heart rate was too elevated for just tears," he tells you evenly, smart-ass.

"Don't tell anyone that either." You take a quiet moment for yourself, fingers toying with a loose string on König's shirt. "Can we stay like this for a while?" You almost hope he doesn't hear you, pathetic. König nods, you can the way it moves your head a little as well.

"As long as you need Liebling, any time you need. I won't let anything hurt you." Big promises, you think, ignoring the weight it settles in your chest.

#könig x reader #könig #könig x you #oc: liebling #tw panic attack #tw abandonment #cod x reader #really dont know what to say about this except that liebling is not as put together as she likes to think #and that she has had some real bad luck with relationships #every day i realize how good love is to her and how much liebling needs the sort of ride or die that Love embodies #and also like queen you cannot be small and vulnerable around König it just makes him love you more #the man cant handle it

[cryptocism]

love that Thad interprets inertia to mean continuing at all costs and Three takes it to mean stagnancy, bc theyre both right!! objects in motion saty in motion objects at rest stay at rest just like newton said

exactly yeah! because i knew i wanted Thad to reclaim the name for himself (with the whole "it means what i say it means" mantra) it needed to mean more to him than just a representation of Thawne Legacy Kill The Allens etc.

a reoccurring thing in Frequency that i liked to lean into was this idea of Good Inertia and Bad Impulses (bc Bart and Thad as narrative foils continues to rotate in my brain forever). i think Bart's solo does a cool exploration of both good and bad impulses throughout the run, it's kind of the central conflict of the whole thing, but it's usually in regards to Bart either unwittingly getting himself into trouble or accidentally solving problems by just leaping into everything without thinking twice. but the concept of inertia is pretty exclusively portrayed as negative. which is fair, the phrase "coasting on inertia" is in the lexicon for a reason. but i think it deserved a fair shot - the concept of continuing in spite of everything can actually be a really good instinct when you're in a bad situation. keeping up that momentum, moving forward no matter what, there's definitely something inspirational there that appeals to me.

and an aspect of impulses that didnt get as much spotlight in Bart's solo was the kinds of impulses that recoil at the thought of unpleasantness. the impulse to hide from responsibility, the impulse to distract from pain, to avoid discomfort, etc. (big part of that is because in Bart's solo, most of the worst moments of his life hadn't happened to him yet) so i wanted to explore it a little in Frequency

anyway yeah, Bad Impulses and Good Inertia. which was kinda in conversation with Bart and Thad's dispositions, and how they run counter to typical hero/villain narratives. (Bart doesn't really get people, goes his own way, has pretty emotionally selfish and sometimes violent tendencies when he's pissed off. Thad's much more of a people person, lives for praise and pleasing others, seems to forget to do violence when he's supposed to i.e. that time he put Bart in VR jail even though Bart was completely incapacitated and by Thawne logic Thad should've just killed him. it just... doesn't occur to him as a thing he should do lmao)

#asks #anonymous #not to belabour the point but yeah i tried to stay true to their core kinda mechanics and how they respond to people #i see bart and thad as mirrors in the low-empathy/high-empathy departments #where bart doesn't really relate to people most of the time - although he can guess at what they're feeling and try to respond accordingly #drawing on what he learned from max and helen and his friends #still caring deeply for people but never seeing himself reflected in them #and then on the flipside there's thad who cant seem to stop himself from projecting on everyone and getting caught up in their feelings #not only in his hyperawareness of how people see him and subsequent stage-fright as a result #but also when he tries to steal jo's truck and literally can't because she told him she had a daughter and he doesn't want her to get fired #and when he drops his possessiveness over CRAYDL the literal instant he sees that Nathaniel cares about them as much as he does #or when he sees Jude at his lowest and can't stop himself from thinking ''been there'' #basically bart is an unbothered king and thad finds himself unwillingly empathizing with anyone who shows him a shred of vulnerability #an extremely interesting dynamic for a “heroic/villainous” pair #frequency fic

[tennessoui]

wip wednesday

(but where i got 2k into 3 different projects and dropped them all to write a silly gffa oneshot about the jedi thinking anakin was married to obi-wan)

When Anakin decides that he must tell the Jedi Council about his marriage, the whole thing has painfully little to do with his wife.  Really, it’s all just the perfect storm.  It’s a series of coincidences and conjoined events so convoluted and instantenous, stacked one on top of another in rapid fire, that Anakin’s head hasn’t even fully wrapped around one before he must begin to process another.  And Anakin’s always been pretty great at multi-tasking, but not when it comes to the thornier, immaterial kinds of things.  Give him four droids in need of fixing, a pod-engine that’s making a stubborn clurk-claank sound, and a recipe to make for dinner, and he can do it all at the same time. Give him a disappointed former master, a distant, angry wife, and a rebellious padawan, and his brain has a tendency to just sort of stall to a halt. So what it really all boils down to is that Anakin has had a rough couple of days, and he’s spent most of that time sleepless and pacing around his quarters.  All because four days ago, they’d gotten word that Obi-Wan’s ship had been shot down in a dog fight on some Mid Rim planet Anakin’s never heard of in his life. Allegedly, the man had been recovered alive and healthy, but the crash must have knocked his ability to answer a kriffing comm call straight out of his master’s head, because Anakin hasn’t actually heard from him since he was downed. It’s been four days in total, three and a half since he was recovered. It’s all bordering on unacceptable, but Anakin knows he can’t personally fly out to Obi-Wan’s forces—if only because he has been assigned duties at the Temple and to leave the planet would be to abandon his post, and he doesn’t want to assume that his master is so bedridden that he can’t get up, yell at him, and drag him by his ear back to the Council. And he would be assuming, because he hasn’t heard from him at all. Which is why he’s here, walking back and forth in the living area of his quarters, from the threshold of the door to the threshold of Obi-Wan’s sleeping quarters. Over and over and over again as his mind spins in circles akin to that of a whirlpool: he’s fine and he’s alive and he’s been found and he’s fine and he’s alive and even if he lost both of his arms, surely he could use his nose to answer his fucking comm but he’s fine and he’s alive or I would have been fucking told about it so he’s fine and he’s—

#obikin #i promise its going to be silly #basically anakin walks in on padme doing a mandatory wartime government training video about how secrets can leave you vulnerable #and your vulnerabilities can be exploited #and he connects that to obi-wan being hurt and also realizes he needs to tell the council his secrets aka his marriage #so they cant be used against him #to hurt his vulnerable spots #aka his master #but work has been hurting my brain the last like 2 days its ridiculous #so this and everything else is slow going

[phosphophylight-of-my-life]

oshi no ko aqua is such a fun character bc by most counts he's a more than decent guy.

in his first life he regularly visited hospital inpatients who had no visitors. he was genuinely happy and excited to help Ai deliver her babies, because he wants her to be happy on her own terms. he saves Akane simply because he can, and gets angry at the staff on her behalf. he doesn't stop at saving her life and spends sleepless nights turning around her public image. at that point there was nothing in it for him to keep akane around, she was just a person he was able to help and wanted to help.

by most counts he's a pretty decent guy who steps up when people need him most, except. except he's also a guy who really wants to kill his dad and that makes him manipulate people somewhat often and this is somehow not entirely at odds with his instinct to help others

#oshi no ko #like he's a doctor i can rly respect yknow #except for the patricide thing #gorou said do no harm unless it's my dad #also the way that gorou regularly visit patients is something SARINA has to tell the audience and not gorou #bc to gorou is nothing worth mentioning #for quite a while i was like man gorou is kind of sleazy for only visiting sarina esp when she's so young and vulnerable #but he visits the others also... sarina was just the most special patient to him because she introduced him to ai and also #because she was a kid whose parents never showed up #also SPOILERS FOR LIKE CH90+ OR SMTHING BELOW #the way aqua doesnt let akane dirty her hands like ok aqua we get it you want the best for everyone who isnt your dad #wipes tear someone get him therapy hes a decent guy who's ruining his life #also the way he is conscious of how he's playing w akane's feelings and tries very hard to be honest with her and to do her right #like sigh okay aqua i GUESS i cant hate you #and that one ghosting kana arc where i wanted to beat him up and then he was like i dont want to drag kana into this & he looked terrified #like SIGH. OKAY. FINE AQUA i cant hate you after all #like apart from the patricide (which is big know) the biggest downside to his personality is how cold he is #he pushes ppl away all the time and is just borderline rude #but like idk i feel like thats a byproduct of his 'i plan to go to jail for patricide and dont want to drag others down' mindset #which is like... well. you can't hate him for that.. he's looking out for others in his own way

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

help im getting emotional over satoru gojo again

#may or may not be crying #thinking about him and his found family #thinking about how he views his time with suguru as the blue spring of his life #a place he cant return to — only in dreams… #but he can regain that sense of happiness even now and i think that’s something he might not realize #because he’s silly and stupid and he doesn’t understand how loved he is #by his students and by shoko and by yaga and by everyone he’s helped and saved #he’s soooo loved and the idea of him feeling that love through his precious students — feeling even a smidge of that blue spring again… #it just gets to me :((((( your life isn’t over gojo!! the blue spring you miss is still right in front of you!!!!!!! #the shinjuku fight will always be so special to me… all of them slapping his back while he puts his infinity down and grins happily #wanting to show off in front of those beloved students when he fights sukuna…. #sobbing crying throwing up he loves them so much he cherishes them he wants them to be happy he wants them to be proud of him :(((((( #the papa of all time. the only Father ever #canon gojo will always be my favorite at the end of the day. no fandom variant comes even close to being Him u just cant copy that …… #feeling very sniffly tonight :(( very vulnerable trying to avoid leaks and worrying abt what’ll happen #ari noises ✩

[daily-hanamura]

i have more screenshots but idk if tumblr can handle it

#submission #hanamura yosuke #listen i do in fact think about this scene so much. so so so much. #i cant help but think about what saki used to tell naoki about yosuke considering how during an early meeting with naoki #hes brought up how he hated yosukr as well #but listen i think for me the main thing is how much i love when yosuke's big brotherness comes out especially when someone younger #is in a vulnerable state of mind #look at how hes trying to speak to naoki and reach out to him yosuke really does want to help here #and i have such a soft spot for the fact that its yu's slink with naoki i just love when yosuke shows up in yu's slinks #but yosuke being here was so important. and they wrote him so gently #god im down bad i know im not even coherent here im just!!! really! overwhelmed!! with! emotions!! #he wants to reach out to naoki but hes also careful to do it in a way that doesn't patronise him or talks down to naoki #yosukes not the best at speaking and being articulate and he's really just doing his best here to meet naoki where he is and aaaaaaaaa

[bravano]

guys today is my birthday I’m 18 amd Im finally able to get drunk which is cool and shit and omg but wonder what saiki would be like drunk like would he be emotional or like even more cold or would he be happy or even like angry maybe wait would be even be able to get drunk or would his body work like peter parkers where his metabolism is too fast to even register it

these are the questions

#my drunken rambling #literally #god this is so weird #but like Im so curious about kusuo #how would he be #cause I mean I feel so fucking happy #would he or would he be sad #or would he just be vulnerable in general #I swear ive seen something in a fanfiction but I cant remember right now lol #saiki k #saiki no psi nan #kusuo saiki #the disastrous life of saiki k

[ceabu]

Your gamkar looks pretty red and not pale (no hate, I just don't get why would you call red rom "pale")

...dude

#ceabu's asks #LMFAO GET A LOAD OF THIS GUY #CANT TELL THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN RED AND PALE #GET OUT WITH THIS BULLSHIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTT #YES MOIRAILS KISS AND SMOOCH AND SO WHAT DOES THAT MEAN THEYRE RED????? #i will never ship gamkar in any other quadrant than pale so lets get that out of the way first because mY GOD #they are pale #nothing else #you might see pale as just guys being pals and besties who just need a pat on the head from their homie somethimes #but how i see it is #pale romance is the most important #you put ur whole faith and trust in each other share secrets you would never ever utter to anyone else you let yourself be vulnerable #AND WE R TALKING ABOUT TROLLS HERE ALRIGHT #REMEMBER TROLLS ARE AGRESSIVE CREATURES WHO KILL AND STUFF LOL #so yes moirails should def kiss and smooch because CHECK IT OUT DUDE #PALE IS A ROMANCE #AS IS BLACK AS IS ASHEN #JUST BECAUSE THEY DONT FUCK DOESNT MEAN THEY DONT LOVE EACH OTHER #pale romance my beloved no one gets you like i do

[androgynouspenguinexpert]

starting a former william fan support group bc what the entire fuck was that

#redacted audio #redacted asmr #redactedverse #art #illustration #redacted vincent #vincent solaire #look william is right in that thats how it be sometimes way #does NOT make his actions any less shitty and certainly doesnt absolve him #suggesting vincent and sam just fuck off seems incredibly dismissive and sort of is but he's right #william knows he isnt going to change and vincent (+ sam but he's really only got a tiny stake in this) can deal with it or bugger off #super interesting issue because i can clearly see both sides of the argument #william cant afford to not be strategic and that includes manipulating the people he has power over #THAT SAID #vincent is rightfully upset at being fucked with for william's interests #i dont think theres a solution for everyone here #stay and become involved at worst or complicit at best #or cut ties completely #which is a whole nother can of worms and leaves vincent (+ sam but hold your horses) vulnerable to being killed by either a clan or drifter #(which would be hard but not impossible) or get snapped up by someone looking to manipulate him #sound familiar? #and sam was also there #someone needs to explain to him how a monarchy works #like yes honey william DOES get to make every decision on his own and move assets and people as he sees fit without counsel #thats what it says on the tin

[soplapinga]

How the fuck did I learn how to efficiently help my partner through his autistic meltdowns thanks to a vashwood fanfic .what

#me reading ww help w vashs meldowns: oh well I . ?? oh ???? wait It does look similar to - OH ?? IT WOULD HELP MAYBE OH MY GOR #I followed fucking fanfic wws steps next time my bf had one #i used his way of asking and talking #the question that fictional bitch asked #and it WORKED #Fun fact were both autistic #just .completely different breeds of it #plus I cant understand ppls physical reactions to save my life #thought process ?? im a fucking expert . the BEST #but PHYSICAL oh hell naw #I just understand what I physically need but absolutely nothing more #NOW I CAN HELP HIM #U DONT UNDERSTAND HOW HAPPY AM I ABOUT THAT #autism #fanfiction #vashwood #ao3 fanfic #we had obv talked about it b4 but he didnt understand how it worked either so we left it at “dw if u dont know. ure trying and i love u” #(i wanted to eat his face and cry bc I HATE NOT UNDERSTANDING SHIT I SHOULD UNDERSTAND) #oh and I couldnt do what works for me bc my body is 100% uncapable of being vulnerable in anyway in front of ppl for more than .5 min prob #so I just loose my mind a lil bit w laughing randomly and moving compulsively like rocking on the chair or slamming things etc for that time #and the close off until im alone and gave the full needed meltdown #so ive never been actually comforted or helped so I dont know what it would help bc Ive never experienced it #rant ended lads now SORRY

[zarovich]

messed up how having a traumatic childhood still affects me and makes me unable to express my emotions properly

#personal #makes me feel like a proper dick. god i feel like i dont even deserve to be loved sometimes #what kind of person am i if i cant tell someone i love them even tho i do. the vulnerability of it all... afraid of the hurt that may follow #but i also know if im not vulnerable then ill be alone. and i dont want to be alone #im afraid if im vulnerable and say how i feel then i will stop feeling it. speaking it makes it so much more... real. idk #<- guy who needs soooo much therapy