Rose's Kiss Week Day 5: Lonely
OCs: Marcus Asalun (aka Anchesh Pabat) and Gren Orech-Pabat
Words: 1335
Content warnings: mentions of family health issues
Notes: this takes place six months after Anchesh married his last spouse, human himbo Gren.
At the other end of the sofa, Gren sighed for the tenth time in as many minutes. He was staring off at the other end of the room, chin propped up in one big hand, and more than likely didn’t even realize he sounded so despondent.
“How are you doing?” Anchesh asked.
“I’m fine. It’s just lonely without Yera.”
Probably it was best not to talk too much about Yera, because Gren would only get sadder if he started thinking about why Yera was out of town and how stressed she must be. Instead Anchesh put aside his knitting.
“I’m probably not as good at cuddling as Yera,” he said, moving to the cushion next to Gren, “but I’m here.”
Gren instantly pivoted and deflated into his lap, settling one cheek against his thigh and a hand over his knee. Today Gren’s hair was held in a bunlike fold with just an alligator clip, which Anchesh gently pulled out and set on the open cushion beside him. Then he combed his fingers back through Gren’s loose locks.
“I feel bad being lonely,” Gren murmured. “Her family needs her way more than I do, and I’m not alone here.”
“You’re her family too,” Anchesh answered in the same low tone. “And it doesn’t feel the same, not having her here.”
“Yeah.” Gren squeezed his leg a little, like he needed something to cling to.
Anchesh let Gren’s hair slip through his fingers over and over, massaging Gren’s scalp with each draw. Truth be told, he was worried about Yera too. She would be fine, unless her father got worse. He probably wouldn’t die, not yet, but the wondering and waiting felt unsettling enough for him at home—it must be awful for her. She was right to have the rest of them stay behind, except Hossan, because sooner or later they’d all be at loose ends and end up making her feel worse. But he still wished he could be there to hold her and talk to her, probably just the same as Gren.
“Maybe I don’t spend enough time with the rest of you,” Gren said suddenly. “Especially you.”
“I don’t mind how much time you spend with Yera and Hossan,” Anchesh answered.
“Yeah, but—” Gren rose from his lap, slowly enough that he didn’t pull his own hair in Anchesh’s hands. With his hair pushed behind his ears, he said, “I’m your husband too. And you don’t get tired of me like Pali does. I would leave you alone if you wanted me to but you’ve never told me to do that.”
Anchesh handed him the alligator clip. “I mean, I’m happy to spend more time with you. I just don’t want you to worry too much about it.”
Gren stared at nothing while he smoothed his hair back into a ponytail and clipped it there. Then he continued looking at some spot further down the sofa. “Anchesh...do you love me?”
It was a serious question that deserved a serious answer, but Anchesh was distracted by the plaintiveness of Gren’s voice. Had this been worrying him for the last six months?
Gren waited two seconds before adding, “Not like you love Yera or Umedes, but...”
He took Gren’s hand from his lap, and Gren looked up. “I do love you, Gren. You’re my friend. And my husband. And I’m glad I married you.”
“Really?” He didn’t seem entirely convinced.
“Really. I would have married you just for Yera and Hossan, but I like having you around too. You’re so bright, and lovely, and you always make sure we have what we need. And—”
“I think Pali does that.”
“Pali doesn’t keep everyone upbeat,” Anchesh said. “And she’s definitely not good at making sure we all rest, especially not herself. I think she’s gotten more sleep in the six months you’ve been here than she has since I married her.” Gren didn’t say anything, so he kept going. “We need someone who’s as thoughtful as you are. I need someone who is.” An almost melancholy gratitude welled up in him, and he tried to figure out how to put words to it. He wasn’t sure that Gren understood how much he made life more bearable. He wasn’t sure any of his spouses did, even though he didn’t know where he’d be without them. He loved all of them, and he needed all of them, and on some level he needed Gren, the only one who wasn’t at least a little wrapped up in politics and particularities, most of all. He put his other hand over Gren’s. “You mean a lot to me, Gren.”
“Do you think you could say that more? Not that, but like, ‘I love you’?”
When was the last time he’d told Gren he loved him? Even if he didn’t remember exactly, he had a feeling it had been days, or weeks. He’d decided without thinking about it that Gren didn’t really need to hear it, and he definitely didn’t need to hear it from him, arguably Gren’s least favorite spouse aside from Pali.
“Of course I can,” he said, rubbing his thumb over the back of Gren’s hand. “I’m sorry I haven’t said it very much.”
“It’s okay.” Gren put his other hand on top of Anchesh’s. Then he dropped his cheek against Anchesh’s shoulder.
“You know you can always tell me about your feelings,” Anchesh said.
“You don’t tell me about yours,” Gren said. “Except in bed, kinda.”
“Do you want to know about my feelings?”
“Yes!” Gren lifted his head and his face was all exasperation. “I know I don’t understand all of the things you do but I can understand how you feel!”
“Most of my feelings aren’t good.” And it would be cruel to burden someone like Gren with them.
“I still want to know,” Gren said. “I just want to be there for you, but I never know what’s going on with you.”
He’d given up on being there for Gren because it was obvious Gren didn’t need him, and he couldn’t keep track of the constantly shifting world he lived in with Yera and Hossan. “While Yera and Hossan are gone, maybe we should focus on that. Being there for each other.”
“I’d like that.” Gren’s eyes fell to their hands, and Anchesh thought he could see a blush rising in his cheeks. “I’d also like to kiss you more.”
“You can kiss me whenever you want.” He felt like he meant that the most of anything he’d said so far. Gren raised his head and went straight to softly touching his lips to Anchesh’s, his mustache tickling at Anchesh’s smooth-shaven upper lip.
On the next kiss his hand caressed the curve of Anchesh’s neck, and then he untangled his other hand from Anchesh’s and threw both arms around his neck, and when that apparently wasn’t enough he broke the kiss and fully straddled Anchesh’s thighs, hunching a little to reach his lips. Anchesh tilted his head further back in turn, feeling the pleasant tension of his horns pressing against the back of the sofa. Despite his position, Gren didn’t seem like he was trying to be seductive. He kissed Anchesh to savor him, like he was fresh water on Gren’s parched tongue, a tongue carefully exploring the contours of Anchesh’s. He was in no rush, and his skin was warm against Anchesh’s where they touched, Gren’s feet pressed against his knees, hands along the edge of his neckline, soft lips drinking him in. Anchesh let his hands run back over Gren’s thighs, his hips, to the bare, fuzzy skin at his midriff, and held on there.
When Gren pulled back at long last, his breath was edged with gasps, and so was Anchesh’s.
“I love you, Anchesh. I love you so much.”
Without a word, they pulled each other close, Anchesh wrapping his arms around Gren’s back as he leaned forward to press his cheek against Gren’s shoulder.
“I love you too, Gren.”
RKW taglist: @vacantgodling @jezifster @kk7-rbs
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full bodied, all heart (Tsuji Yota/Narita Ren)
Been adding bits and pieces to this for a few weeks. Just a little post-July 27 G1 matches (Hikuleo vs Tsuji, Narita vs Sanada) that outlines some of the dynamic I've been tossing around in my head for them -- enjoy some gentle fluff and Narita stretching the definition of "one night stand" a bit ;)
*
The shower water comes in hot, feels like trial by fire. It’s over. It isn’t over. Narita Ren's first G1, lost nearly as soon as he could have. Typical, even for one marked to carry the company’s future. It still stings.
There will be other matches. Maybe he could show that Kiyomiya a thing or two, even if he’s not leaving the block.
And really, it’s hard to feel too cheated, when Shibata texted a few terse compliments on his match with Sanada. It may be a loss, but it’s worth something. They’ve all taught him something. Ren dresses while silently mouthing the lyrics to Bury. Maybe he should rewatch One Outs tonight. Might help him relax.
Outside the showers, a lone figure sits in the locker room – hunched up in a corner, long hair shrouding his face. Why hasn’t Yota left yet?
Is he…waiting? For Ren? Is that what this is, a quiet prayer for someone to come out of the shadows, make it all make sense?
Ren’s chest twists. He knows – what that’s like. Somehow he doubts Naito is going to make the time for an unscheduled bar crawl. Does LIJ even text in full sentences?
“Oh. It’s you that’s still here.” the surprise on Yota’s face doesn’t look like a lie. Ren shrugs one shoulder, sits on the bench next to him.
“You’re still here too,” Ren points out.
“Well look at us. Bottom of the block, carrying the era.”
Ren blinks. This isn’t – he’s never heard Yota talk quite like this before. Blunt, and raw and – no teasing to it.
“Come on Narita. Take your shots at me. I’m all talk. I’m no better than you were,” he mutters the last one, barely looking Ren in the eye.
“Is that what I’m supposed to do here?” Ren stares. Just under a week ago, Yota had his mouth all over Ren’s cock.
Yota just swears under his breath. Ren wonders if this was how he looked to Yota after the loss to Kidd. The underdog’s despair feels more unfair on him. His natural state is radiant.
The shower drips audibly. Ren should – say something. Anything. Something like comfort. What would Shibata-san say?
“Look, you’re not the only one. It’s almost all of us.” of course Umino is spared for now. Of course. Ren bites the inside of his cheek. A spoiler chance isn’t much of a chance.
“See, that's an easy target, right there. I was going on about how stupid the Musketeers were, how you weren't on my level. Now even Umino is ahead of me.”
“That’s everyone, their first G1.”
“You’re still not giving me shit,” Yota does look at him now, his intense eyes earnest – the bruises on his neck faded even now. Fuck, if Ren is honest, Shibata-san would have ripped him a new one. Would have walked away without looking back. Wouldn’t have ended up–
– well no, Ren’s not sure. He’s not.
He didn’t come to give Yota shit. He’s not sure he could– not without a match anyhow. Not with Yota’s hair hanging in messy curtains, the way his light shove feels half-hearted coming from a man whose every action has his full blood in it.
Ren leans in slow. Yota doesn’t pull away, opens his mouth into the kiss. One hand on his cheek. His lips turn up a bit, still sad, but teasing when Ren finally draws back.
“I'm just trying to help you," Yota says, with an airy half-laugh. Ren doesn’t need to answer that. It’s a debt paid, between them, a kiss after a loss for a kiss after a loss.
Ren doesn’t get up. Yota’s hand is still on his knee.
“Do you like fighting me?” Ren asks, against his better instincts.
“God, yes. More than Umino. Don’t tell him I said that though, I don’t want to play favorites.”
It’s an odd thing to say, but Ren nods. If he thinks about it – he does like fighting Yota. Kind of. It’s like being flayed raw, but he’s the right person to do it.
Fighting Shota – fuck, he wants to beat him so bad.
“You want to take this home?” Yota asks quietly.
“Yeah,” he answers without thinking. Well. They can draw out this one-night-stand a little longer. It’s not like Ren has any plans, “Come on, we can pick up some yakisoba on the way.”
And that does get him a smile, full-bodied, all heart. So it’s worth that much.
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