#ALSO HE WILL BE RACING MR MICK
Note
now riddle me this .
since all the drivers talk about how hard the singapore gp is because its so hot and humid HOW ABOUT
singaporean fem driver reader whos used to the climate and her shenanigans with the f1 grid
idk i thought this would be a good idea 😢😢
summary; the singapore heat can't kill you, but the sight of him sweaty and disheveled just might
pairing; oscar piastri x fem! ferrari driver! reader [ no faceclaim ]
a/n; this is my thank you letter to @localwhoore for helping me with the oscar series, i owe you big time; also if anyone has any idea what to do when i hit 3k send me an ask
liked by scuderiayn, charles_leclerc, f1 and 3,204,985 others
scuderiaferrari The heat never bothered her anyway
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36rg P1 BABY IT'S OUR YEAR
gonestappen not for longggggg
gothfrogasly oh they're so hot for that (get it?)
buttonette_20 It's Oscar and Lando congratulating her mid interview for me
meepshoemaker WHERE
buttonette_20 Post quali interviews!! They were walking by, Lando stopped to congratulate her and Oscar had the audacity to wink but it looked so awkward 😭
meepshoemaker bless his soul that boy has 0 rizz
liked by charles_leclerc, scuderiayn, landonorris and 2,111,901 others
mclaren We, at McLaren, do not take a side in the conflict, and if we had to, it would be Oscar's. That said, here are some of the ways he looks at Y/N. Happy Race Day! 🧡
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sebwebb admin you're so brave for this
maxielhearter take a shot if mclaren admin knowing about oscassgate was on your bingo card
g3org3zilla NAHHHHHH THEY DIDN'T
mclaren Oh, yes, we did 😊
oscarpiastri 🤨
scuderiayn girl
mclaren Just doing my job 😊
scuderiayn how much did mick and max f. pay you to post this
mclaren I plead the 5th
maxfewtrell DUDE
liked by charles_leclerc, oscarpiastri, landonorris and 7,800,552 others
scuderiayn i won or whatever LANDO P2 BABYYYY
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forzapluto FERARRI WIN??? WHAT YEAR IS IT????
bottaswiththefur breaking the verstappen domination and being more excited about your buddy getting a podium is insane but not as insane as oscassgate
scuderiayn I JUST GOT A WIN AND WE'RE STILL TALKING ABOUT OSCAR'S ASS??
oscarpiastri You're no longer interested, then?
scuderiayn oh
charles_leclerc At last
mickschumacher I teared up, they grow up so fast
landonorris and if i said i caught him looking at your ass too what then
scuderiayn you didn't
landonorris no i didn't but like imagine if i did what then
liked by maxfewtrell, scuderiayn, fernandoalo_oficial and 3,121,347 others
oscarpiastri Thank you @ charles_leclerc for revealing your DMs. Without you, it would have taken longer for this to happen.
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scuderiayn *being dumb enough to reveal his DMs
charles_leclerc First of all I just scored you a date.
scuderiaferrari You should be scoring points instead
scuderiayn ha
scuderiaferrari You included
scuderiayn oh im sorry, you're talking to THE max destroyer
charles_leclerc Bow to her highness
landonorris someone's about to be known as THE y/n destroyer
scuderiayn ok mr nowins
scuderiayn wait
scuderiayn LANDO
pic credits: instagram and pinterest
fic-specific taglist; @onecojg @spilled-coffee-cup @cixrosie @sheridamn @namgification @thehufflepuffavenger1 @sxrcxsm26
blog taglist; @wtfisakilometer2 @aexitizen-ln4 @localwhoore @onecojg @sheridamn @cixrosie @gulabjamooon @melozyxo @spilled-coffee-cup @biitch-with-wifi @coffeehurricanes @iifloweringnightsii @jsjcue @lanando4 @fastcarsandshit @christianpulisic10 @allygatcr @marshmummy @lavenderhazeeworld @ravisinghs-wife @namgification @sheridamn @whatislifebutlemons @demvnsriot @stinkyjax @sxrcxsm26 @beskardroids @tbsloneely
(it's my birthday on sunday im about to get the best dutch anthem of the year)
#oscar piastri x reader#f1#f1 x reader#f1 imagine#f1 instagram au#f1 social media au#f1 smau#instagram au#oscar piastri#oscar piastri imagine#oscar piastri x you#f1 imagines
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Say cheese | mick schumacher x fem!reader
in which y/n wolff and mick schumacher soft launch their relationship online
yn_wolff
Liked by susie_wolff and 435,087 others
yn_wolff race day dump and cheesin'
lewishamilton And who is that? 🤔🤔
georgerussell63 Hmm he seems familiar??
susie_wolff I am also wondering who is that - dad
yn_wolff lewis, roscoe is waiting for you. george, shut up and take your shirtless photos somewhere else. dad, give susie back her phone and jack says he wants to go home now. 🤦♀️🤦♀️
mickschumacher
Liked by gina_schumacher and 324,208 others
mickschumacher say cheese
lewishamilton AND WHO IS THAT?
georgerussell63 SHE ALSO SEEMS FAMILIAR??
mickschumacher Shut up and Toto is waiting for us.
f1wags
Liked by bbmicky and 5,304 others
f1wags NEW WAG ALERT? Mercedes' reserve driver, Mick Schumacher and daughter of Mercedes' team prinicipal, Y/N Wolff posted similar posts on their Instagrams, seemingly soft launching their relationship. Any thoughts?
bbmicky aw they would be so cute together!!
mickymouse sad day for mick girlies and y/n girlies
yn_wolff posted a story
caption: 💕mickschumacher💕
mickschumacher
Liked by yn_wolff and 543,083 others
mickschumacher Boss man officially knows. I would like to introduce you to my girlfriend, yn_wolff 💕
susie_wolff Congrats to the of you and you look so cute together!
susie_wolff Take care of her, Mick - Toto Wolff
mickschumacher Thanks, Susie and yes, sir, Mr. Boss man! 🫡
yn_wolff love you, Micky!
lewishamilton So that's who it was.
georgerussell63 And that's why she looked familiar.
yn_wolff shut up the two of you and let us be happy.
mickymouse not toto signing with his full name on susie's account 💀💀
#f1 ig au#f1 instagram au#f1 rpf#f1 social media au#f1 imagine#mick schumacher fluff#mick schumacher fic#mick schumacher instagram au#mick schumacher imagine#f1 smau#mick schumacher x reader#mick schumacher x you
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Dr. & Mr. Vettel
Sebastian Vettel x Fem!Reader
Warnings: mentions of hospitals, alcohol and the consumption of, Seb gives reader a mini heart attack by accident (not really), fluffy soft husband Seb, top level cheesiness.
Word Count: 2.3k
Author’s Note: I was dancing around my kitchen and here we are. -- I know the time logicals don’t really work but go with it.
---
The shift ended an hour ago, you were laying on the couch in the lounge as you clicked through the tv. It was just past 2 in the morning and you were so sleepy but you refused to go home to the empty house again.
“Dr. V?” One of the nurses, Sammy, called for you when he noticed you on the couch. “Why are you still here? Your shift was done..” he glances at his watch, “like an hour ago.”
“I know,” you yawn, sitting up to sip on the now cold coffee. Sammy sits next to you on the couch. “Is he away this weekend?” He asks.
Nodding, you glance at your phone that was on your lap; a photo of you and Sebastian in Germany last summer. He's holding you and your legs are wrapped around his waist as you both laughed at something his brother said to you before he took the picture.
“From Singapore straight to Japan.”
“Oh man,” Sammy sinks back into the couch. “That sucks big time, Dr. V.”
“Tell me about it,” you sigh, running a hand down your face.
“Do you want me to stay with you?” Sammy offers but you shook your head, “you should go home. I’m sure Johnny is waiting for you.” You smiled, patting his leg.
“You should go home too. I don’t think Mr. V would want you killing yourself here just ‘cause he’s not home.”
Sammy gets up and walks to his locker, gathering his stuff. You mirror his actions, “how are you getting home?” You ask him from your side of the lockers.
“Probably the bus,” Sammy answers.
“Nonsense, I’ll drive. Took Seb’s Aston this morning.”
You had started at one pm today, your shift was from one pm to one am. Usually you liked to be done by ten pm and start at ten am so you did the full 12 but with Seb’s race, you pushed your start time; much like the race.
Seb placed P8 and you were beyond happy for him. You wanted nothing more than to hug him and kiss him but alas, you settled for a FaceTime call on the way to work.
Sammy made small talk with you as you drove him home, he also gave you the rundown about the other doctors and the gossip floating around the hospital because everyone knows nurses have the best gossip.
Johnny, Sammy’s husband, was waiting at the door for him when you pulled into the driveway. You wind down the window, “Thanks for the ride.” Sammy smiles when he gets out.
“No problem, I'll see you on Tuesday ?”
“Of course.”
“Hey Dr. V! Nice ride,” Johnny smiles, walking down to meet Sammy halfway. “Thank you!” You shout back, “you kids have fun!” You smile.
“I’m older than you!” Sammy shouts to you as you pull out the driveway.
It was only a 10 minute drive to your place from Sammy's if you took the direct route but because you were avoiding going home, you took the longer route which was double the time.
Your car was pulled into the garage seeing that you took Seb’s to work so you pulled in, parking next to yours.
You sit in the car for a few minutes, checking your phone and seeing what you missed during your shift.
It wasn't much, a few messages from some friends talking about Seb’s race and catching up for some drinks. You ignored all of them and texted Sebastian, it was almost ten am for him with the time difference opposed to your near three am.
To Seb: How’s Japan ? Send pics! Also, give Mick a hug for me.
To Seb: Love you, both of you lmao
You finally get yourself out of the car, walking into the house through the garage door and locked it behind you. You made your way into the basement to change out of your scrubs, you stripped off and tossed them into the washing machine. There’s a basket of folded clothes you’ve been neglecting to bring upstairs so you dig through until you find something to wear, which happened to be Seb’s shirt, one of his old Red Bull ones that he can’t seem to get rid of.
Heading upstairs again, you walk straight to the kitchen. You were home alone so there was no rush to get dressed or shower, plus to be quite honest, you hated sleeping alone.
Sebastian insisted on getting a king sized bed, even though you two sleep in each other's sides the whole night.
Most nights when Seb was away, you tried to work double shifts but if you couldn't, you slept on the couch; less space means less chance of you missing him during the night.
There’s a bottle of wine in the fridge and you were off tomorrow so you pour yourself a glass, setting it on the counter as you head over to switch on the tv. You search through the menu, clicking on Spotify and letting whatever playlist you had running before play.
Humming to yourself, you go back to the kitchen and with the glass in hand, you search the freezer for the sweets you knew you had in there. The box was buried behind a few other things but you found it eventually.
The little box of lava cakes sat on the counter, you turned on the oven and waited for it to heat up. Setting one of them onto a pan, you leaned on the counter as you waited.
Occasionally sipping on your wine, your forearms on the counter as you scrolled through your phone. Your hip bounced from side to side, matching the beat of the song playing.
The music was loud, you thought you were home alone so there was no one to bother.
You had also come through the garage door when you came in, meaning you didn’t see the white sneakers by the door; your husband’s sneakers.
Sebastian had changed his flight after your call to him. You looked so sad on the phone despite your happy tone of voice. He knew you missed him and he missed you too.
He had come home, even if it was just for 2 days; he missed you too much not to see you.
When he didn’t see your car in the driveway, he assumed you were at work. It didn’t even occur to him to check the garage. He was exhausted because of the time zone changes and went straight to bed when he got in.
He just figured you’d find him in bed.
Instead, he woke to music being played and the smell of something chocolaty. Sebastian very quietly made his way downstairs to find you standing in one of his t-shirts, dancing along to the music as you drank.
He leaned on the wall, arms folded across his chest and he watched you. He didn’t dare say a thing to you.
You had your back turned to him, leaning down to check on the dessert in the oven. You had the half empty glass in your hand, reaching into the freezer to get the ice cream and when you turned around to set the ice cream on the counter, both the glass and the container fell from your hand.
Seb bit back a laugh, watching the horror on your face go to relief. “Sebastian what the fuck?!” You sigh, your hand on your chest.
“Hi honey.” He smiles, walking over to you and you shake your head, now rubbing your eyes.
“I’m sleep deprived and it has to be the wine.” You tell yourself, trying to convince yourself that your husband wasn't actually there.
You bend down to pick up the tub of ice cream and you feel a hand land on your ass with a smack. You stand up and Seb’s chest pressed to your back and he wraps an arm around your torso.
“I’m here,” he tells you, kissing your shoulder. You turn around, your hands coming up to rest on his cheeks. “You’re here.”
“I am.” Sebastian smiles, kissing the palm of your hand.
“I- what, how are you here? I thought you were in Japan.”
Seb turns you, your back hitting the counter before he lifts you onto it. He bends down to pick the broken glass and you nudge his butt with your foot, making him laugh. “I took a flight, obviously baby.” He answers your question, being difficult.
“Haha,” you roll your eyes, “no but seriously. Mick told me you were there when he called earlier.”
“You talk to Mick?” Seb asks, tossing the glass in the trash. You nod, “he just called to say hi because I texted him after the race.”
“You two text?”
“We do but that is soooo not the point right now, Sebastian.”
“You looked sad,” Seb tells you, “on the phone, so I came home. I mean you know, that’s so bad for the environment.. all the traveling.” He waves his finger around in a circle before he shrugs, “but my love for you comes first.”
His words tug on your heart, you looked sad so he came home. He’d put himself through 3 different time zones just so he could spend a day or two with you.
Sometimes it’s hard for you to believe that the fluffy blonde haired, shy, jokester of a boy turned into the incredibly remarkable man standing in front of you.
You never forget why you married Sebastian but days like today were a reminder.
“How’d I get so lucky?” You ask, your hand on his cheek when he steps closer to you.
“I wonder the same thing.. you know, how you got so lucky.” He says with a smile which makes you laugh.
“Such a dork,” you give him a nudge, sliding off the counter to get the cake out the oven and Seb cleans up the spilt wine for you. You set the pan on the stove to cool down for a moment.
“Oh,” Sebastian sighs, looking over at you. “I love this song.” The opening notes of Can’t Take My Eyes Off You by Frankie Valli began to play.
“Our wedding song.” You hum, smiling at your husband.
The song became your wedding song by accident; the deejay lost the original set list you had given him and was winging it off what he could remember. You were trying not to send yourself into a panic attack so no one cared to mention to you that he wasn’t going to play the right song for your first dance.
Micheal took it upon himself to pick a song, stopping the deejay from looking for you because he thought it was better for you to not go to jail for murder on your wedding day.
He picked the first song that came to mind; also happened to be the same song you had danced to with Mick in their backyard earlier that summer. Mick had to be maybe 13 years old the year you and Sebastian got married, so Seb’s whole notion of you two texting wasn't weird at all because Mick was like a baby brother to you at this point.
That year was eventful besides the wedding, Sebastian won his third championship that year and you completed medical school.
“Dance with me,” Seb grabs your hand, spinning you around the kitchen.
You end up back in front of him, a hand on his shoulder and the other holding his free hand, Sebastian’s free hand rests on your back.
The two of you replicated the steps of your first dance perfectly, a little tradition you had for your anniversaries but today was just special for no reason in particular. When the song came to an end, Sebastian kissed you softly before letting you go.
You move away for a moment to get the cake and set the pan on the counter, you open the ice cream container and hand Seb a spoon. You hum, your craving for sweets satisfied by the cake.
“Wait,” you look over at him, “how long have you been home?”
“Got in around 10, figured you were at work and went to bed. I thought I'd surprise you in bed but you didn’t come upstairs.” He says between bites.
“Hm, sorry. I thought I was home alone.” You chuckled.
Seb smiles, reaching over to write away some of the chocolate from your face, “Happy anniversary,” he hums.
Your brows furrow, “our anniversary was in July.” You tell him, confused.
He nods, “I know, our wedding anniversary; but when did we start dating ?”
You think back, that was over 12 years ago. It was a long time to think back to be honest. Your parents were investors in Red Bull and you had joined them at a few races over the season in 2010. You met Sebastian in April and you two didn’t start seeing each other until August but only made things official in.. October.
“Seb,” you coo, “oh baby, you remembered?”
“How could I forget? You’re the woman of my dreams.” He smiles, a hand cupping your cheek.
“Even after I nearly had a heart attack just now and probably am in need of a shower?” You ask him, smiling at him.
Sebastian smiles, “The good and the bad, honey.”
“Good, I love you.” You tell him, your hand on his cheek before you kiss him. Sebastian’s tongue runs across his lips, “chocolate,” he hums, making you laugh.
----
taglist: @timetoracewrites @diorleclerc @lickmeleclerc @halsteadssneakylink @dragon-of-winterfell @benedictscanvas @elisaa-shelby @hnmaga-blog @czechoslovakiandisco @dr3lover @troybolton14 @Lovingroscoee @compulsiveshit @somanyfandomsbruh @damnyoulifee @vickyofalltrades @yeolsbubbles @barzysreputation @thybulleric @valkyrie418 @ricsaigaslec @idkiwantchocolatee @sessgjarg
#sebastian vettel#sebastian vettel x reader#sebastian vettel x you#sebastian vettel x y/n#sebastian vettel fanfic#sebastian vettel fluff#sebastian vettel imagine#f1#f1 x reader#f1 x you#f1 x y/n#f1 fic#f1 fanfic#f1 fiction#f1 fluff#f1 imagine#formula 1#formula 1 x you#formula 1 x reader#formula one#formula one x you#formula one x reader#formula one x y/n#formula one fanfiction#formula one fluff#formula one fic#formula one one shot#sebastian vettel one shot
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it's me again! hi! im back with another fluffy and suggestive boyfriend!mick thot!
whenever you’re at home, you’re always touching. no exceptions, even when he has work-related things to do, like calls with the team or sponsors. if they’re video meetings, he’ll do them in your shared office so he can spend more time with you while you’re also working. but if they’re just phone calls, especially the random short ones at odd times of the day, he’ll just answer the phone with you sitting on him on the couch.
but just having you in his lap isn’t enough. usually, within a couple minutes of the call, he’ll already have his hands down your shirt and your bra flung across the room. and no one has to know. you love the sound of his voice when he’s giving interviews or talking to his engineers and when he’s done being Mr. Important, you end up making out for the rest of the evening.
oh I could go on about the ways he keeps you close, even when he’s doing other things, and it’s just something for you two to share … it’s a good thing he’s usually on mute for the calls unless it’s his turn to talk because sometimes you give him the attention right back …
- 🎩
we loooove mick thots in this house! heheh
the way I just know things would escalate once the phone call ends!! kjksjgksdjgksdj aaaaaa I think reader would love this side of him because 1) its one his love languages and 2) it connects them, it goes from soft to dirty and then soft again in a matter of seconds. they'll miss each other like crazy whenever reader can't make it to a race or something bc wdym they'll spend the week without each others touch? no cuddling after a stressing day at work? no studying/reading/existing while the other do their own thing? absurd!
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Most Beloved WWE Wrestler Tournament: Round 2 Statistics Dump
Followers: 251
Total Votes: 22,087 + 13,398 = 35,485
Times I realized I was not in-depth enough with my checking of wrestlers and forgot at least one which I only found out because I heard an old wrestler was being accused of murder and the name didn't sound familiar so I checked and it turns out he isn't included but have to remind myself that if no one mentioned him being missing from round 1, he probably isn't the most beloved anyway: once, thank god
Beloved By Gender:
We started with a split of 81.7% men to 18.3% women, which moved to 75% men to 25% women after the first round. After the second round of voting, our percentages are:
Voting Trends:
During round 2, the voting totals ranged from a low of 360 votes per day to 554, with the average rising from 387 votes per day to 462 votes per day (Also I figured out how to add a date marking line how cool is that??)
The 100%ers:
While all the 100%ers from Round 1 have since gotten a vote against them, there were a couple of wrestlers in Round 2 who got through unscathed
Billy Gunn (138 + 50)
Taz (53 + 51)
Asuka (58 + 60)
R-Truth (57 + 71)
Public Opinion:
A great many more publicly adored favs have been voted out, so here are the updated lists
Sports Illustrated’s 101 Best Wrestlers Of All Time (2016)
Ric Flair (18, lose)
Shawn Michaels (53 + 57, win)
Steve Austin (29 + 18, lose)
The Rock (23, lose)
The Undertaker (53 + 55, win)
Dusty Rhodes (46 + 42, win)
John Cena (47 + 51, win)
Hulk Hogan (10, lose)
Sting (51 + 53, win)
Andre The Giant (56 + 38, win)
Randy Savage (37 + 32, win)
Roddy Piper (54 + 33, win)
Chris Jericho (27 + 31, win)
Harley Race (17 + 18, win)
Mick Foley (58 + 47, win)
Bret Hart (52 + 59, win)
Randy Orton (58 + 48, win)
Kurt Angle (45 + 36, win)
Antonio Inoki (28 + 38, win)
Ricky Steamboat (28 + 47, win)
Daniel Bryan (61 + 51, win)
Triple H (31 + 12, lose)
Buddy Rogers (21 + 17, win)
Edge (41 + 49, win)
Bob Backlund (26 + 22, win)
Brock Lesnar (23, lose)
Stan Hansen (22, lose)
Bruno Sammartino (30 + 6, lose)
CM Punk (57 + 40, lose)
Ted DiBiase (27 + 26, win)
Bruiser Brody (33 + 31, win)
Hideo Itami (34 + 35, win)
Rey Mysterio (48 + 40, win)
Vader (32 + 17, lose)
Dory Funk Jr (17 + 17, lose)
Mr Perfect (37 + 25, win)
Eddie Guerrero (53 + 43, win)
Jake Roberts (32 + 29, win)
Arn Anderson (25 + 30, win)
The Sheik (31 + 30, win)
AJ Styles (40 + 46, win)
Goldust (70 + 34, win)
Samoa Joe (61 + 84, win)
Terry Funk (27 + 37, win)
Verne Gagne (14, lose)
Mil Mascaras (10, lose)
Rob Van Dam (43 + 45, win)
Tatsumi Fujinami (25, lose)
Rick Rude (35 + 29, win)
Owen Hart (56 + 41, win)
Jeff Hardy (52 + 32, lose)
Goldberg (23 + 22, lose)
Ivan Koloff (15, lose)
Chris Benoit (17, lose)
Larry Zbyszko (4, lose)
Ultimo Dragon (9, lose)
Scott Hall (44 + 40, win)
Trish Stratus (38 + 42, win)
Dean Malenko (37 + 29, win)
Ultimate Warrior (28 + 20, lose)
Fabulous Moolah (18, lose)
William Regal (62 + 45, win)
Gene Kiniski (14, lose)
Scott Steiner (44, lose)
Rick Steiner (26 + 9, lose)
Chyna (68 + 49, win)
Seth Rollins (55 + 54, win)
Kane (40 + 29, win)
Jimmy Snuka (9, lose)
Davey Boy Smith (22 + 24, win)
The Iron Sheik (49 + 40, win)
Pedro Morales (20 + 9, lose)
Michael Hayes (10, lose)
Johnny Valentine (14 + 4, lose)
Shinsuke Nakamura (58 + 60, win)
Diesel (39 + 35, win)
Batista (53 + 54, win)
Lita (46 + 65, win)
Christian (56 + 47, win)
Ron Simmons (25 + 33, win)
Big Show (41 + 60, win)
JBL (10, lose)
Christopher Daniels (26 + 10, lose)
The Miz (34 + 30, win)
PWI Wrestler Of The Year
Pedro Morales (20 + 9, lose)
Jack Brisco (17 + 13, lose)
Bruno Sammartino (30 + 6, lose)
Terry Funk (27 + 37, win)
Dusty Rhodes (46 + 42, win)
Harley Race (17 + 18, win)
Bob Backlund (26 + 22, win)
Ric Flair (18, lose)
Hulk Hogan (10, lose)
Randy Savage (37 + 32, win)
Sting (51 + 53, win)
Vader (32 + 17, lose)
Diesel (39 + 35, win)
Big Show (41 + 39, win)
Lex Luger (25 + 4, lose)
Steve Austin (29 + 18, lose)
The Rock (23, lose)
Brock Lesnar (23, lose)
Kurt Angle (45 + 36, win)
Chris Benoit (17, lose)
Batista (52 + 54, win)
John Cena (47 + 51, win)
Triple H (31 + 12, lose)
Randy Orton (58 + 48, win)
CM Punk (57 + 40, lose)
Daniel Bryan (61 + 51, win)
Seth Rollins (55 + 54, win)
AJ Styles (40 + 46, win)
Adam Cole (47 + 40, win)
Dean Ambrose (58 + 54, win)
Roman Reigns (51 + 64, win)
PWI Woman Of The Year
Joyce Grable (30 + 24, win)
Susan Green (21 + 27, win)
Stephanie McMahon (26 + 4, lose)
Lita (46 + 65, win)
Trish Stratus (38 + 42, win)
Victoria (27 + 23, win)
Candice Michelle (24 + 39, win)
Mickie James (47 + 46, win)
Michelle McCool (29 + 10, lose)
AJ Lee (48 + 46, win)
Sasha Banks (44 + 47, win)
Charlotte Flair (45 + 42, win)
Asuka (58 + 60, win)
Becky Lynch (58 + 53, win)
Bianca Belair (34 + 66, win)
Top 10 Voted In Round 2:
Samoa Joe (84)
Damian Priest (81)
Big E (78)
Sami Zayn/Rhea Ripley (77)
Jey Uso (74)
R-Truth (71)
Bianca Belair (66)
Lita (65)
Roman Reigns (64)
Iyo Sky (63)
Top 10 Voted Overall:
Naomi (223)
Billy Gunn (188)
Damian Priest (150)
Samoa Joe (145)
Rhea Ripley (134)
Sami Zayn (130)
R-Truth (128)
Big E (125)
Jey Uso (123)
Asuka/Shinsuke Nakamura (118)
Thank you so much to everyone who's been voting thus far. We've got less than 300 wrestlers left to sift through and the competition is starting to seriously heat up. Keep an eye out for Round 3, starting tomorrow!
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A Night In Tokyo With Mick Schumacher and A Mercedes 190E Evo II
Driving around Tokyo is daunting. With no centre or suburbs, its road network is huge, spiralling, occasionally latticed and sometimes subterranean. At times, even Mr Roboto in the satnav gives up and shrugs directions your way. Which has happened. Meaning I'm lost while leading Mick Schumacher (behind the wheel of a stunning Mercedes 190E 2.5-16 Evolution II) through Japan's neon-lined labyrinth.
It's a hot, humid evening and Mercedes F1's reserve driver (and son of iconic seven-time Formula One world champion Michael Schumacher) is cutting the perfect shape of a 90s boyband member. Where I'm perspiring like a burst pipe, he palms back his blonde curls and looks effortlessly cool in his loose-fitting, oversized Tommy Hilfiger contractual clobber. Sartorially, it couldn't be more of a perfect fit for the car he's driving.
Born out of German touring cars, the Evo II is a deeply lustworthy, boxy and bewinged sports saloon. With a revvy, induction-tastic 232bhp four-cylinder engine mated to a dog leg close-ratio five-speed manual, rear-wheel drive and aero appendages that get petrolheads salivating, it's a proper tip one's hat 'if you know, you know' car.
Mercedes only built 502 of them (as per DTM's homologation rules) out of some 1.9 million W201 models that it's based on, so they're properly rare beasts. The fact we've got a quadruplet of Evos following Mick makes the situation we're in a bit more mind-blowing. But that's the plan. We wanted to give Mick an evening to remember, to take him away from the repetition and rigmarole of modern media junkets. We don't want to know where he keeps his ketchup, or when the last time he thought of the Roman Empire was. We want to indulge his love for cars.
"I went looking for an Evo II to buy but decided against it… for now," Mick says in his soft, geographically hard to place international accent. "It's a beautiful car and has huge sentimental value to me, the main reason being that my dad had one as a company car when he was a Mercedes junior. He spent a lot of time doing lots of laps on the Nordschleife with Heinz-Harald Frentzen. I remember within a month they had to change the brake pads and things with the engine. So it's an emotionally important car to me."
Growing up in Gland, Switzerland, Mick struggles to pinpoint exactly when he got bitten by the road car bug. "Honestly, I don't really know where I got into them. Driving them around the property as a child was a big factor. The first time I had a steering wheel in my hand from a road car was maybe four or five years old, on my dad's lap. I got to drive very nice cars, very soon and very early. I guess it just grew naturally. Especially when I turned 18; then it really turned into an obsession."
Raised on a healthy diet of racing, the Fast and Furious franchise and gaming, Mick picked up a penchant for JDM cars by proxy. "I just love how raw and simple they are," he says. "I enjoy playing around with them, changing stuff, tuning them and making them more fun to drive."
Knowing this, we head out of Tokyo towards Chiba to meet Japan's most inconspicuous bad boy: Kazuhiko 'Smokey' Nagata. Tobacco and turbo enthusiast Smokey is one of Japan's legendary tuners. He and his company Top Secret have modified every generation of Nissan GT-R, including an R33 Skyline GT-R that managed 0–186mph in 17 seconds at Yatabe test track and 204mph in Tokyo's famous Aqualine tunnel. Like Smokey, Mick is also a GT-R fanboy, with some tucked away in a shed at home, including his R34 drift car.
"I've really got into drifting. As an F1 driver, drifting, or oversteer, is the opposite of what you want to do, but if you control it and have the feel for it, it can really help you. So I took the step of saying 'I want to try it' after the 2019 Race of Champions skill race.
I was quite good, finishing second against rally drivers and everything, so I thought, 'Okay, maybe I should try this a bit more,' so I got my own car and started enjoying sideways. I love the sensation of connecting turns and being in a difficult situation, because obviously the car is upset, to then be able to control it. I think that's what's so intriguing. It's a good feeling."
Mick's curiosity and JDM love resonates as he wanders around Smokey's GT-R littered shop. Not being able to speak Japanese, Mick uses international hand signals for car nuts to explain various car parts, gets out his phone to show Smokey his cars before stumbling upon Smokey's VR32 GT-R (an R32 with all the mechanics and interior of the R35 transplanted) and trying to find a way to import it into Switzerland. But we've got no time for this, as we've got the legendary Bayshore Route to hit and a car meet to get to.
For someone so young, 24-year-old Mick is at a rather quiescent point in his career. Having had a triumphant run in his youth coming second in karting in the World, European and German Junior Championships, then switching to Formula 4 in 2015 and finishing second overall in both the German and Italian F4 championships, before becoming European Formula 3 Champion in 2018 and FIA Formula 2 Champion in 2020, Mick made it to the big leagues and bagged himself a seat in F1 with Haas.
It wasn't easy. In 2022 Mick lost his seat after a difficult second season that saw him struggle to match teammate Kevin Magnussen for form. He recorded a best finish of sixth in Austria, one of two points finishes during the season, but it was not enough to save his seat. For 2023, Mick dropped his Ferrari junior ties and linked up with Mercedes (the last team his father raced for in F1), picking up the role of reserve driver.
"Being a reserve driver gives you tremendous insight, especially at Mercedes," Mick says. "I miss driving, I'm not going to lie, but the main thing I've learned since moving from Haas to Mercedes is how the team operates, the tools they have, how they use them and the communication. They're big learning points. It has opened my eyes in a lot of ways and has made it clear why Mercedes is as successful as it is. The worst part is sitting in the garage and seeing everybody drive out and do what you love to do."
Part of Mick's remit is to join Mercedes trackside at all F1 race. That's how we're able to blat around Tokyo for a night before he heads to Suzuka to support the team. But time in Merc's state-of-the-art sim back in Brackley is also key. Mick was praised by Mercedes' technical director James Allison for a 2 am shift he did during the British GP weekend, turning the car's "woeful" one-lap pace on Friday into a competitive car and set-up for Lewis Hamilton and George Russell to compete with during quali and the race on Sunday.
With every mile behind the Evo II's wheel, Mick's smile grows to match the width of its monstrous rear wing, especially when he realizes it shoots flame on the overrun after a 7,600 rpm toll booth roll out. We cross over to Yokohama and swirl down a concrete pillared plughole, arriving in an unsuspecting parking lot that doubles up as the epicentre of cool Japanese car culture in Japan: Daikoku PA. Mick, having never been to a car meet before, has his eyes widened.
Even though it's a school night, the place is pumping. Mick walks around curiously, showing his girlfriend, Danish model Laila Hasanovic, Veilside-kitted Mazda RX-7s, how riveted wide arch Liberty Walk bodywork hangs from an R35 GT-R for the ultimate kerbside stance, and the extended provenance from the flood of awesome, rare Mercedes (including the original 190E Evo I, an AMG-clad W124 and a custom Cosworth 2.5 boasting Penta wheels and Brabus brakes) that are all parked honourably in their uniform herringbone bays. As Mick gets under the bonnets and kindly signs carbon airboxes for marginally hysterical owners, I wonder if he's handy with the spanners.
"I wish I was," he says, "but I don't have the time. I'm starting to bring more of my cars over to my place so that I eventually will be able to work on them myself and change things that I want to change. Currently, I am very good at taking things apart… maybe less gifted at putting them back together."
But since the meteoric rise of social media and documentaries like Netflix's Drive to Survive, racing drivers' personalities have been mainlined into public consciousness. Nowadays, it appears drivers' human interests need to be put on display like the plastic dishes outside Daikoku's service station restaurant windows. Yet here, tonight, Mick seems completely at home and relaxed.
"It's risky because I feel like I'm a very private person. I like my privacy. Sometimes when you get people wanting to know more, they get a bit too snoopy. I feel it should be my choice how much I share, and what I share, not people trying to figure that out for me."
In this job you get to sniff out the car nuts from the blaggers, and Mick's passion is palpable. It's refreshing to see, and a welcome break from the headlines and hearsay currently surrounding him given he's caught in a gloopy limbo where F1 politics, money and raw talent are all currently fighting each other to work out where he'll race next.
As I type, Mick's currently linked with an LMDh drive with Alpine in next year's World Endurance Championship, a move Mercedes F1's big boss Toto Wolff is fine with, as Mick is "part of the family" and "will always have a home."
Mick's tone becomes more forlorn when talking about the future, obviously having had a tough few years and aching to get back into an F1 car. I wonder if it takes its toll, and how he pushes through in times of uncertainty.
"Having the right people around you," he says. "You need to try and be mentally in the right space and try and get the best out of the situation so that you can, whenever it's necessary, be in the position that you can jump in and be ready to go."
After an evening with Mick, you can't help but wish him the best of luck. If all else fails, he could always lean into drifting and see where that takes him. Sideways Schuey. Has a good ring to it, doesn't it?
#mick schumacher#f1#formula 1#japanese gp 2023#fic ref#fic ref 2023#japan#japan 2023#japan 2023 thursday#not a race#2023 not a race#between singapore and japan 2023#tw food#cw food#tw smoking#with michael#childhood photos
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i know this is a bit random but can you do how long it would take to settle down with the drivers??
Oh that’s a good one, I’m just doing estimated guesses here
Pierre: At least 3-4 years I think, he really wants to make sure his relationship is stable under the pressure of his career, and that you can handle everything that’s being thrown at the two of you. When he’s 100% sure, and you move in with him, he likes to think about getting married and starting a family. He’s maybe in his early thirties then, and feels like he’s ready for it.
Charles: I think he has a clear plan once he realizes he’s really in love with you. Perhaps within two years. I think he’s really clear in communication, what he expects of the relationship and that you realize how much you have to sacrifice if you want to be with him for the most amount of time. He’d love to get married and have a family with you later.
Lando: He’s still so young and new to the relationships, so he won’t be thinking about settling down any time soon. His career is quite stable at the moment, and he loves being in a relationship and being in love, but he doesn’t want to tie himself down to moving in with someone and being around someone 24/7. He likes that he’s free to fly anywhere he wants between the races, and thinks your relationship is about giving and taking to adapt to each other’s lifestyles.
Carlos: With Carlos’ experience in F1, he’s used to dating next to his career, so if he has a stable, long-time relationship, I think he’s very open about what he wants. I think he’d love to start a family and see you around in the paddock with your daughter/son, and those imaginations are enough to start having the family talk between the two of you. After a relationship of a decent 5-6 years and you moved in with him, he’d love to settle down.
Mick: Considering he’s a very private person, but also a big family person at the same time, I think he’d love to start a family as soon as you’re ready for it. But he knows he’s still young and has enough time. Mick would consider your thoughts and opinions more important than his. You have to be ready for it, as he’s travelling all the time, and you’re not living together yet. He can’t wait to show you off as his Mrs. Schumacher, or see the press pictures of you and a little baby in the garage, but he wants you to want that as much as he does, before he considers settling down for real.
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My unorganised thoughts on the Canadian Grand Prix
- Mick’s dnf right after qualifying in p6, ON FATHER’S DAY, is the most devastating thing ever.
- was there some sort of bet where all mechanics from every team decided collectively to fuck up their driver’s pit stops????? why were they all so horrific
- potentially the first time in my life i can confidently say its a great day to be a lance fan. He did incredibly. getting points at his home gp is amazing
- also ZHOU. what a man
- Charles also did incredibly.
- I feel like a sainz win is so close, i want that for him so much, sad he couldn’t get it for this race
- Mr consistency staying consistent
- i know an alonso win was unlikely but that woud’ve been hilarious
- I also find it very funny that yuki was one pf the only drivers to have a good pitstop but managed to yeet the car into the barriers straight after. sucks for him but i found that a bit funny
- some reliability McLaren and Ferrari would be much appreciated. Not ideal for Lando
- i feel like so much happened at this race but also nothing happened at all
- i know i shouldn’t laugh but the video of latifi running over a groundhog had me in stictes. Nicky sounded devastated
- im very excited for Silverstone, hoping for some rookie fp1 session( oscar?????)
#F1#formula 1#Max Verstappen#Sergio Perez#Lewis Hamilton#George Russell#Lando Norris#Mick Schumacher#Kevin Magnussen#Daniel Ricciardo#Carlos Sainz#Charles Leclerc#Esteban Ocon#Fernando Alonso#Lance Stroll#Sebastian Vettel#Zhou Guanyu#Valterri Bottas#Nicholas Latifi#Alex Albon#Pierre Gasly#Yuki Tsunoda
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28.04.2023 | BAKU FP1 & QUALIFYING
(Not a lot photos, this is a WIP, sorry)
Oh my gosh, it's finally race week again! But not with the usual format because they're testing the new one. Honestly, I don't like the change. I know sprints are already controversial, but Brazil 2022 proved they could be good, so I don't understand the need to change it again. It's not working, and it shows. Teams and drivers benefit from practice! Also, Baku is the wrong circuit to test this. Anyway, here is what I think of today's sessions.
FREE PRACTICE 1
RED BULL
Turn 8 is probably the most difficult, but both Red Bulls (and Fernando) seem to dominate there quite a bit, above the others. The session was interesting because both Red Bulls fought with Charles for P1. Checo was pretty fast, and I thought he would be P1, but Max took it at the last second!
In the end, Max was P1 and Checo P3.
In other news: I loved the comment about Checo being the King of the Street Circuits! More of that please!
FERRARI
I don't have many things to comment about Ferrari, just that they did great. Although I noticed some mistakes by Carlos, the results give me hope.
Charles was P2 and Carlos P4.
MCLAREN
McLaren was… great? It's surprising, really. I think the biggest problem I saw was that Oscar's DRS didn't open near the end of the session, but I'm not sure if it was a driver or car issue.
Lando was P5 and Oscar P12.
ALPHATAURI
• I don't have much to say, just that AlphaTauri was good!
• Although, apparently, Yuki was missing downforce, at least at the start of the session.
• Nyck was P6 and Yuki was P14.
ASTON MARTIN
I noticed at the start that both Aston Martin had to abort several laps, which is bad because there's only one FP. Although Lance was doing well anyway! But then came the problem with Fernando's DRS, which didn't open, but they seemed to solve it.
Lance was P7 and Fernando P8.
In other news: They were on fire with all the Taylor Swift references! Who would have thought the season would get to this point. Also, Jimmy on camera!
WILLIAMS
Alex was great during the session! I have high hopes for him this round (and all rounds).
Alex was P9 and Logan P16.
MERCEDES
Lewis had problems with the brakes. Then there wasn't much grip, but they seemed to solve the brakes. He was able to make places up at the end, but it wasn't enough. George didn't have the best session, but he's Mr. Saturday for a reason.
Lewis was P11 and George P17.
In other news: TOTO AND MICK CAM! AND BONO!!!
HAAS
Kevin's car stops randomly and Haas doesn't know why. Disappointed but not surprised.
Hülkenberg was P15 and Kevin P20.
ALPINE
Everything about Pierre was a fiasco. I can't believe the marshalls couldn't put the fire off. It turned out to be because of hydraulic fluid. It affected Esteban's session because they decided to retire him even though his car was not on fire.
Este was P18 and Pierre P20.
QUALIFYING
Q1
It's a shame Zhou didn't make it to Q2, but at least Val did better!
I think it's so nice that Esteban's mechanics helped with Pierre's car! But it's a pity that Pierre wrecked the car in such a way. It was a problem with the brakes in Turn 3. Luckily when Este brushed the barrier, nothing happened to him.
Both Haas out doesn't surprise me.
NYCK AGAINST THE BARRIERS CAN'T BE. The positive side is that Yuki went into Q2.
OUT: Zhou, Hülkenberg, Kevin, Pierre, and Nyck.
Q2
George P11, I wanted to k*** myself.
Alex almost hit the barrier, and I guess you can say it's Carlos's fault. Alex blaming Carlos on the radio was way too funny. Alex my love, you're absolutely correct, but my man has been in the trenches for the last month. But yeah it's a shame, I wanted Alex in Q3.
OUT: George, Este, Alex, Val, and Logan.
Q3
MY GOD, THE ONLY THING I HAVE TO SAY IS THAT MAX AND CHARLES WITH THE SAME LAP TIME, GOD!!! THE SEXIEST THING THAT HAS HAPPENED THIS MONTH.
I was literally like, "Well, boys, let's pack up. There is nothing else to see, this cannot be outdone."
POLE BY CHARLES LECLERC, MY GOD, I USED TO PRAY FOR TIMES LIKE THESE.
I'm not even going to talk about the others, Charles deserves all of this.
(Oscar in Q3 I see you, baby).
GRID 1-10: Charles, Max, Checo, Carlos, Lewis, Fernando, Lando, Yuki, Lance, and Oscar.
#f1#2023 - season journal#baku 2023#azerbaijan 2023#ferrari#red bull racing#mercedes f1#aston martin#mclaren#alpha tauri#alpine f1#williams f1#alfa romeo#haas f1 team#charles leclerc#carlos sainz#max verstappen#checo pérez#lewis hamilton#george russell#fernando alonso#lance stroll#lando norris#oscar piastri#yuki tsunoda#nyck de vries#esteban ocon#pierre gasly#alex albon#logan sargeant
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— 𝔐𝔶 𝔩𝔬𝔳𝔢 𝔦𝔰 𝔞 𝔰𝔢𝔩𝔣𝔦𝔰𝔥, 𝔤𝔩𝔬𝔯𝔦𝔬𝔲𝔰, 𝔤𝔬𝔡𝔩𝔦𝔨𝔢 𝔱𝔥𝔦𝔫𝔤.
𝐛𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐜𝐬.
name: michael andres villegas
nicknames: mickey, mick
age: twenty-eight.
gender identity: cis-male.
pronouns: he/him
sexuality: bisexual.
birthday: august 4th, 1993.
star sign: leo.
occupation: first year professor at cornell: teaches italian and spanish, as well as introductory communications classes.
neighbourhood: cayuga heights
place of birth: providence, rhode island
height: 6′2
𝐝𝐞𝐭𝐚𝐢𝐥𝐬.
tattoos: a storm cloud on his forearm, a dove on his collar and a few other bits and pieces
spotify most played: little dark age by MGMT
style: a bit loud, jeans with cut knees and patterned shirts unbuttoned low. when he’s at work it’s more professional but he always has some rings on and too many chains.
vehicle: a jet black g-wagon, mercedes amg gt r in green hell magno and a kawasaki ninja h2r bike
addictions: smokes cigs, probably drives too fast, really fuckin loves cannoli
info. ( full bio linked here )
trigger warnings: car crash mention
mick is truly mr. international, born in RI but at five he moved to milan, italy. his mom married an italian, bada boom bada bing he spent most of his youth catapulting between italy and america and loving it a lot
his mom is the third generation of an american land development company that has started recently to go overseas, so he has had the luxury of being ~~~ financially comfortable over the years
went to Cornell, acted up a fool but did very well in his studies, unfortunately for him he has the issue of getting very Bored and after graduation continued to act a fool, racing cars, basic adrenaline junkie rich boy shit. he finally got his act together after getting in a bad car crash, and his mom and sister were like :/ mick pls u must grow up
mick was like, ya ur right besties this is Bad and his mom offered to buy him a big house in Ithaca, and to let him live there and work there as long as he was financially dependent from her and could pay the bills
so! mick went back to school in NY, did all the stuff ya gotta do- got his masters, then polished off a doctorate. he’s in cayuga heights in a gorgina lake house with too many rooms for himself and a lil weenie dog named chowder
he’s grown up a lot since moving back and as a result, mickey’s also mellowed out a ton. he’s still loud and bright and boisterous, but there’s a side to him that champions all that is kind and caring and considerate. he’s a good boy, and he puts a lot of himself into his teaching and what he does. it is his first year as a professor, and he’s giving it his best shot and he rly hopes that his students love him so so much bc he’s trying his hardest
some fun headcanons.
He’s a morning person, but he’s also one of those people that seems to have energy at all hours. Work for him starts early, but he’s never seemed to mind- rising at 7am with his coffee, regardless of what ungodly hour he went to bed the night before
Despite the fact that he should be a pillar of the community, and he’s had bad experiences before- Mickey likes to race. He owns a sexy lil mercedes coupe (there is an italian stallion decal on it, what of it), but he races it for kicks, ripping down the empty streets outside of town
He also drives a motorcycle in the summer, a kawasaki that he loves to pieces, but when he’s just going to the grocery store, he also has a black g-wagon that sounds less like it’s about to punch a hole in the ozone layer every time it idles at a stop light and also doubles as an excellent off-roading weekend option.
Secretly listens to Billie Eilish when no one’s around, has probably been caught singing Ocean Eyes in the shower, sue him!
Because he’s a rebel without a cause, he has a weirdly large collection of socks with wild prints
Of all the things he’s particular with, the biggest however is his hair care routine. It takes WORK to get those curls and he’s very proud of them, pls touch his hair it is v soft
He speaks three languages fluently; English, Italian and Spanish. He’s trying to learn a bit of French, but right now it’s just bits and pieces.
During fifa or the euro cup, he morphs into the absolute worst kind of human being. Mickey loves soccer and he cheers for Italy, emblazoning every inch of his property in the flags and falling headfirst into the season. His love of the sport bleeds into his extracurriculars and he’s spearheaded the effort to have an adult’s soccer league on weekends to get some energy out
His biggest character trait is pretending to not speak/understand English when he’s too bored to interact or would like to escape from an awkward situation
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What words can actually describe that gp? But I firstly want to say happy that Mick is okay, second congrats to Checo he deserves it after what happened to him last race. Poor Charles, never goes his way on his home race :( I’m glad I ain’t in the Ferrari garage. Also, what the hell was Alonso doing?! George Russell aka Mr Consistent up in the top 5 once again :))
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for f1 asks, 9, 10, 25? 💗
9 - who is your dream driver line up?
this is an interesting question ooooo!! from a technical/realistic perspective… I’d obviously have maxie and then… lando, I think. if you put them both in a red bull, I think you’d get them p1 and p2 consistently. they both had a hell of a season, and I think this would have been landos best season if it wasn’t for maxie being an actual f1 god.
but… I think mr piastri is a future WDC. I am aware i’m biased towards lando bc he’s my fave, but I think that oscar and maxie in a team would be incredible. also, charles!! lestappen team mates would be unstoppable!! charlie in equal machinery would give maxie a run for his money!! also, alex albon!!
10 - do you have a controversial f1 take?
oh i’m sure I have many, babe… how long do we have?
maybe my most controversial is that I think maxie deserved to win abu dhabi 21. it was a mess of a race generally, but I do think he won because he was the better driver.
I also do think that maybe… just maybe… we should maybe put danny in a red bull seat… maybe. checo is fine, but I think a lot of his strength this season was because he had a rocketship for a car. I’d love to see what danny could do in a car like the rb19… I’d love to see if he’s still got it.
this is random but it just came to me - I don’t really like george?? I think he’s a raging tory and he is the human equivalent of white bread <3 but he is hilarious sometimes I’ll give him that
also - give mick a seat again!! someone!! anyone!! give liam lawson a seat asap!! I think nico is fine, I think kmag is fine, but these guys are literally doing nothing. think it’s time to switch it up soon. I’d love to see liam in a seat - he proved himself so incredibly in alpha tauri, so I’d love to see him settled and permanent and given a chance <3
25 - do you plan on attending a race this year?
I don’t!! there’s only one race in my country and it’s crazy, virtually impossible to get tickets. also, maybe this is an odd view, but I prefer watching it on tv!! I like that I get to see a thousand different angles, hear the team radios, see into the garages, hear the commentary etc. if you’ve ever seen the cars irl, it’s crazy.. they go past you so fast, you can barely tell who’s who. and you only see the one part of the track you’re sat at. I don’t doubt that the atmosphere is probably incredible at a race, but I’m happy watching on tv <3
thanks for sending these in, my love!!
f1 asks here!!
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January 5 2024
First session of the new year! Let's get into it!
We spent ages just going through out-of-context quotes we had collected from various places.
"SUCK SUCK SUCK SUCK" Mick dying from the sucking. "Maybe not do that to the person who spilt their drink last year.
River Lea and Raven dump Orc corpses at the butcher:
"Wait… what is this guys race?"
"Oh god, he's not an orc right?"
Did we mention they are naked? The human butcher is hauling naked Orcs to the back of his freezer.
Oop! An opportunity to get more Australi- I mean Orc Meat.
DM.exe is not responding.
Town Master is pretending not to be home to deal with us.
Juniper threatened to break in and enter through the broken window (courtesy of Cryovain)
Yeah the town master hates us now. (I am not surprised)
Bill Neigh the Cowboy Guy!
"Georgie, stop breaking the DM!" I'm on notes today… 👋Hi! Also, I'm making little quips
We now can't stop laughing at saying we're selling Orc meat.
Mr. Wester is a fucking pussy making us do shit while he hides in his broken house.
(Pussy autocorrected to Pussy-cat and I don't know what's funnier)
Bill and his horse having a Flynn Rider and Maximus 'when he looks at me and I look at him' moment.
Bill and Town Master have similar accents.
Looks like the Orcs are Arsonist but in a Minecraft sense.
River Lea is banned from her dead ex's bakery for obvious reasons.
"Firecunt"… can we say cunt on here because we're kiwi? (Lara here, I say yeah. Our blog, we can do what we want)
they exit with a basket full of bread (of different shapes) and a cheese wheel the size of Juniper.
"What's that jerky made out of?"
"Beef"
"Are you sure about that?"
The butcher is traumatised so much that the DM forgot Juniper and Iphigenia did not come in with that Orc meat.
Debating who will mount what creature together. Enter Alistair with a shipping chart. Dewdrop & Alistair are plotting.
*insert shipping chart here*
Going back to the Farmer's house.
"Say boyfriend! Say boys! Say boyfriend!" Zain, 2024 in relation to getting the DM to refer to Raven in his dialogue to his child.
Juniper is canonically unhinged (slay). She may be a cleric but she will say unhinge shit to get a rise out of each other.
During our second long rest:
"Do you want me to roll perception again?"
"Ummm." *rolls dice* "Yes."
"I don't like those sounds"
A long rest later: BOOM white cow.
"You notice some bodies on the ground" Everyone chants 'let the bodies hit the floor'.
"Oh look! Orc meat."
"They are swarming with flies."
"… We're not touching those!"
Australian Orcs have returned.
Zain mispronounced Satyr to Satire.
We bonded with the Orcs over Racism. For once violence wasn't the answer.
Iphigenia is going to pull the dead sister card to get the Town Master to agree to get the folks of Phandalin to help rebuild the ghost town for the orcs
In the tune of Do You Wanna Build a Snowman: 🎶Dewdrop, do you wanna fuck an Orc?🎶
Is Alistair a Furry?
Bonus:
Here is Juniper vs the image the DM had in his head when Juniper and Iphigenia returned with bread and cheese
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Train drivers announce two more strike days
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By Michael Race
Business reporter, BBC News
Train drivers have announced two more strikes as part of a long-running dispute over pay and conditions.
The Aslef union said its members at 16 train companies in England would walk out on 30 September and 4 October.
It added an overtime ban for drivers would take place on 29 September and for five days from 2 to 6 October.
The industrial action also coincides with the Conservative Party conference, which will be held in Manchester from 1 to 4 October.
Services are expected to be cancelled and cause disruption on the strike and overtime ban days.
Transport Secretary Mark Harper described the latest strikes as “cynical” and “politically motivated”.
Both the train drivers’ union Aslef and the RMT, which represents other rail workers, have been locked in a row with train companies over pay and working conditions, leading to regular strikes in the past 18 months.
Progress in the dispute with union bosses has ground to a halt since the latest proposals put forward in the spring by train operators were rejected.
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The offer put forward included a series of changes to working practices which would enable pay rises of 4% for one year and 4% the next.
Mick Whelan, general secretary, said while the union regretted striking again, “the government, and the employers, have forced us into this position”.
He said the union’s members had not had a pay rise since 2019 which was “not right when prices have soared in that time”.
“Train drivers, perfectly reasonably, want to be able to buy now what they could buy four years ago,” he added.
In 2021, the median salary for train drivers was £59,189 per year.
The 16 companies affected by the latest strike action are Avanti West Coast, Chiltern Railways, c2c, CrossCountry, East Midlands Railway, Greater Anglia, GTR Great Northern Thameslink, Great Western Railway, Island Line, LNER, Northern Trains, Southeastern, Southern/Gatwick Express, South Western Railway, TransPennine Express, and West Midlands Trains.
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The Rail Delivery Group, which represents train companies, said it wanted to give staff pay rises, but said a deal was linked to “implementing necessary, sensible reforms that would enhance services for our passengers”.
“The union have rejected a fair and affordable offer without putting it to their members,” a spokesperson said.
“We ask the Aslef leadership and executive to recognise the very real financial challenge the industry is facing and work with us to deliver a more reliable and robust railway for the future.”
Aslef’s Mr Whelan compared Transport Secretary Mr Harper to “Where’s Wally?”, claiming he had not made contact with the union since December last year.
“Where’s Mark Harper? He holds the purse strings. The train companies have told us. They say they cannot act without his say-so.”
He called on Mr Harper to “come to the negotiating table” to end the dispute.
In a post on X, formerly known as Twitter, Mr Harper said the strikes train drivers were “paid an average of £60k for a 35-hour, 4 day week”.
“There’s an offer on the table to take that up to £65k – and still they strike, putting their own jobs at risk,” he added.
The Department for Transport said the government had “facilitated fair and reasonable offers to both RMT and Aslef”.
“Further strike action will not only put a strain on taxpayers, but risk driving passengers away from the network for good. These strikes will not prevent the need for essential workplace reforms,” a spokesperson said.
Related Topics
Rail travel
Strike action
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