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littledrummeraussie · 1 year

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someone who feels like home.

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warnings: actress!fem!reader. nonfamous!Ashton. a premier. a photobooth. kisses shared. a love confession.

word count: 4550

author’s note: This was written as part of the @5sos-writing-week - I really wanted to participate and be a part of something! Originally this was meant to be posted on the first day’s non!famous au, but it ended on a love confession note, so we are going with that! ❤️ I don’t think this is my best piece, but I love the characters and the story, and I did enjoy writing this a lot.

Feedback and reblogs are appreciated!

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“Hey, car will be here in ten,” Ashton’s head popped into the room, eyes going wide as he finally registered you. “Wow, look at you!”

You let out a little giggle at his reaction, but otherwise stayed in one place as your stylist did the finishing touches on your dress. Ashton slipped into the room, still not being able to take his eyes off of you, and you hoped he didn’t catch you biting your lip as you watched him too.

“Well, you clean up nicely too,” you made a cheeky comment, and he laughed, rubbing at the back of his neck. And he did – the fitted black pants, the matching vest and the slick tie paired with a white dress shirt with the sleeves pushed up to his elbows gave him a well-dressed, but still casual look, something you knew everyone would notice at the premier. Your eyes lingered on the blood moon tattoos inked into his skin, the rings on his fingers, the chain clipped into his belt loop, and you felt your heart skip a beat knowing that he was your date – even if just for tonight.

“Who did you bribe to let you wear this dress?” he cocked an eyebrow, looking you up and down to take it all in.

“Versace. They were begging me to wear it,” you joked, making Ashton smile as well. “Do we have time to take pictures?”

“Even if we didn’t I would still do it, because you, my beautiful, need to be documented in this dress,” he reached for the camera on the coffee table, quickly checking the settings before nodding at you. “Alright, do your worst, Y/L/N.”

You made sure to stick your tongue out at him as you struck a pose, the both of you giggling like kids as he started taking pictures of you, going from silly to smiley then serious, showing off your long red dress, the shoulders falling off and over your arms, the slit in the skirt giving a nice view at your legs and the white heels you were wearing. It felt like a bold choice, but you fell in love with the colour and the design, and you secretly liked how it made you look something like a princess, even if you would never tell that to Ashton; he would never let you live that down.

“Okay, now a selfie,” he reached for his phone, stepping next to you to fit both of you into the frame. “The first of the many mandatory ones from tonight.”

“You’re lucky you’re taking really good pictures,” you poked him playfully before letting him slide his arm around you, pulling you close. “At least I have good use of you, other than being my arm candy for the night.”

“You’re hurting my feelings,” Ashton pouted at you, but there was a twinkle in his eyes. “I’m your one-man cheer team, and you’re using me only for my good looks.”

“And to scare away creepy guys, don’t forget that,” you winked at him, a slight flirt lacing your voice. Ash scoffed at you with another little laugh, already trying to come up with another comment when your PA knocked on the door, letting you know that the car had arrived and it was waiting for you.

“Shall we, my lady?” he offered his arm to you, and you accepted it gratefully, all the while trying to will the butterflies in your stomach to calm down.

“It would be my pleasure, kind sir.”

The car ride to the premier was a good 20 minutes, during which time Ashton and your PA talked your ears off with the craziest of ideas on how to approach the elephant in the room in case people started to point it out. The metaphorical elephant, who was currently sitting right next to you, making up funny scenarios of his own being.

Because really: who was Ashton to you?

You often wondered and asked the question from yourself. The answer changed from time to time: a photographer. Someone from your management. An annoying little shit. A second PA. A friend who’s been there for you from day one. All those things were true, and yet, none of them sounded as real as the truth: because Ashton was your best friend, whom you had a crush on.

It wasn’t something you felt the first time you met him; no, it was something recent, something you realized one night when he was sitting next to you on the couch just after wrapping your latest movie, talking about his newest musical obsession. What started out as a work relationship turned into so much more: and while he was still part of your team you quickly became close friends – it was hard to remember a time when Ashton wasn’t part of your life. That’s why it wasn’t even a question for you to invite him as your plus one to the premier of the movie you previously worked on. He’s been there every step of the way, and you wanted to show him how much you appreciate his efforts and friendship after everything you’ve been through while filming Fade Into The Ocean.

“Hey, Y/N, are you with me?”

“Sure, yeah! Sorry,” you quickly shook your head, smiling back at Ashton. “Just lost in thoughts, that’s all.”

“Are you nervous about the premier?” he reached for your hand, squeezing it gently, and you wanted to melt into him, tell him all the things running through your mind, all the feelings you’ve been trying to put into words in the last few months. “You know you don’t have to be. People are really excited about the movie. They’re gonna love it!”

“I’m more scared about you stealing the spotlight from me,” you tried to sound flirty, and maybe you did succeed a little, because Ashton scoffed softly, squeezing your hand again.

“Sounds impossible.”

You knew you were close when you started seeing people everywhere on the streets, many looking after your car, trying to see who was arriving. Your PA started to do the necessary rounds once the car was parked, all the while you got out of the backseat with Ashton’s help. Before you knew it he was already checking your dress for wrinkles, making sure no hair was out of place and that your makeup was not smudged.

“You don’t have to do this, you know,” you caught his hand to stop him fussing over you. “You’re my date tonight, remember?”

“And as your date I want only the best for you,” Ashton ran his fingers over a lock of hair, still smiling at you. “And for people to look at the real star of this show, not silly little me.”

“Well, I like looking at you,” you reached for his tie, fixing it so it wasn’t crooked. “And I’m grateful you came along with me. You don’t know how much that means after…” your voice turned quiet.

Ashton didn’t say anything, he simply pulled you against his chest, hugging you as much as he could. For a moment it felt like there was only the two of you, that you could breathe easier; that if you were able to somehow keep Ashton in your life then nothing could go wrong.

The moment was interrupted by your PA, who let you know that everything was ready for your big entrance. Ashton took another second to let you go, but not before pressing a soft kiss on your forehead, whispering encouragements and a promise that he’ll be by your side all through the night. You nodded, accepting the arm he offered to you once again, then the both of you made your way towards the red carpet, joining the people waiting for the premier.

For a while you forgot about everything – it was just you and the people you worked with on the movie, the photographers and the reporters, and the many fans, all of them wanting to catch a glimpse at their favourites. Ashton stepped back to let you have your moment, falling behind as you were photographed, and you needed to fight the urge to turn back to him. You smiled as you posed with your co-star, yet you wished you could have Ashton right back next to you; there was something different in the way you felt when he was pressed against your side just a few minutes ago, leading you out onto the red carpet and appearing as your date for the night. He was flashing a flirty smile towards the people around you, and you could see them swooning at his charm.

Someone asked if your date could join for another round of pictures, and this finally gave you the chance to look his way, his eyes sparkling as he followed you with his gaze. You beckoned him closer, reaching for him with your hand until he laced your fingers together, then sliding his arm around your waist, pulling you back against his side. You shared smiles and a few laughs as you posed for pictures, and in that moment you knew that you wanted all of this to be real; it wasn’t a public relationship for everyone to see, no. More than anything, you wanted to feel the happiness and the calmness that Ashton made you feel whenever he was around.

“Everything’s okay?” he tilted his head to the side, murmuring his question against your ear, raising an eyebrow when you looked up at him.

You laughed and nodded, like he was telling you a joke or a sneaky comment, and he squeezed your waist in return, letting you know that he was there, he was listening, if you needed him, he could take care of you, no matter what it was.

The two of you made your way down the carpet, finally arriving to the last of the reporters before you could go further into the theatre. That’s when you spotted it, a photobooth tucked into one corner of the hall, the promotional pictures of your movie decorating the outside. It wasn’t a coincidence: you did shoot some of the key scenes of the film in photobooths as they moved the story forward. Suddenly you felt like a little kid, tugging on Ashton’s hand to get his attention. A smile immediately took over his face when he saw it too.

“We gotta get our picture taken!” he was already leading you towards the booth. “It’s tradition!”

“Another addition to the collection,” you giggled, more excited about the photos than the premier itself.

“This one will be extra special,” Ashton smiled as he pulled back the curtain, quickly settling down on the bench and patting his knee. “Come on, guess that’s the only way we can fit in!”

It was something that started years ago, a silly little thing you did one afternoon while walking around Vancouver during a break in filming your first major role. You’ve always wanted to try how these machines worked, having seen them in so many films before, but unfortunately you had none in the small town you grew up in. Having a photo strip from one of those booths was something your younger self would have been so excited about, and older you definitely wanted to let her live the dream. You thought Ashton might find you crazy for this, but the moment you told him about it he grabbed your hand and even paid for the first round – the two of you had so much fun that you ended up taking a lot of photos that day.

After that it sorta became a tradition: whenever the two of you found a booth you squeezed into the tiny space to get another photo strip to your collection. You always made sure to get two copies so you could both hold onto the memories you had together.

You settled into Ashton’s lap, arms hugging his neck while the curtain fell back, hiding the two of you in the tiny space of the booth. Ashton pressed the button when you were ready, and the numbers started to go into a countdown before taking the first picture.

3… 2… 1…

The both of you smiled at the camera, a laugh tugging at the corner of your mouths, and you remembered the very first time you knew that you found a lifelong friend in him. You were meant to go on an audition after a quick meeting with him – he wanted to talk about a few things before sending you on your way with a cup of coffee he bought especially for you, and which he somehow poured all over your shirt. After the initial shock he started to apologize, only to find you laughing about the situation, trying to brush away the tears and catch your breath looking at his face. Ashton did go out and bought you a new shirt so you could go to your audition, and the next day he showed up at your door, your stained shirt washed and folded in his hands. Deep down you knew that finally you had someone in your corner – someone who would do anything to make sure you were alright.

CLICK!

Ashton threw his hand up in a rock sign, sticking his tongue out at the camera, and you quickly copied him, feeling silly and so happy in your fancy dress, acting wild and free. It reminded you of all the times he dragged you into some kind of adventure in the strange cities you were working in, all the shenanigans the two of you did on your free days or while you were travelling. Without Ashton you wouldn’t have tried out half of the restaurants that were now your favourites. Without him you would have missed out on art exhibits and carnival rides and concerts of local bands.

You wouldn’t have gotten your first tattoo if it weren’t for Ashton and a bet of who could possibly fit more marshmallows into their mouths. He won; and he did choose a really pretty design for you, something to remember your trip to Japan where all of this happened. The single cherry blossom flower was definitely your favourite.

CLICK!

His eyes were searching you, smile softening as he looked at you, and you felt yourself smiling back at him. There was something familiar in that moment: you felt safe and calm with him there, a feeling that’s been your companion ever since that night a year ago. Suddenly you were back in the small apartment the two of you shared while filming Fade Into The Ocean, your eyes red as tears were streaming down your face, curling up in his lap on the floor as you cried all through the night, the breakup with your boyfriend which happened via phone making you feel like your heart was broken into tiny little pieces.

But Ashton was there, making sure you drank water and let it all out, soothingly stroking your back to help you calm down. You were scared to go out the next day, thinking that the public will just know how you broke down the night before, like it was written all over your face – instead Ashton reminded you that it was just another day, every day it will be a little easier and you shouldn’t be so hard on yourself; you didn’t do anything wrong. He made sure you looked after yourself while working on your movie and dealing with your breakup, and every night you went to bed with a lighter heart, knowing that it wasn’t the end of the world. Not if you had Ashton to help you to come out on top.

CLICK!

Maybe you shouldn’t have done it, but you couldn’t help yourself. Ashton never looked more beautiful than in that moment. And it wasn’t just his looks, no; it was him, the way he was there for you all through these years, how he put you first more times than you could count, how he picked you up and put you back together when you felt at your lowest. He was adventure and silent afternoons in a park, he was coffee dates and silly selfies and reading lines together at midnight. He was the best part of your team, but also your partner in crime, your best friend and the man you fell in love with through the years.

You always wanted someone who felt like home in this crazy and strange life you had – and as you were sitting there in his lap, looking at each other before the last picture was taken, you realized that nobody ever came close to being the person that Ashton was for you. In that moment you knew that you don’t want anyone else in this world, just him, only him. Because Ashton always felt like home to you.

His breath hitched as your lips pressed against his, but it didn’t even take a heartbeat for him to kiss you back, his arms around your waist tightening to hold you close to him. Your fingers dug into his shoulders, like you were scared you would float away if you let go of him. You felt the tip of his tongue on your bottom lip–

CLICK!

The two of you pulled apart like teenagers who got caught, and you felt your cheeks heating up when you realized what just happened. Ashton looked surprised, lips parted as he looked at you almost unblinking, but you saw how his eyes darkened after your kiss. You were saved by a sound that meant that your photos were printed, and you quickly grabbed them, shoving them into your bag as you stood up, pulling back the curtain.

“I– think we should go. Movie is about to start.”

“Yeah… yeah, of course,” Ashton quickly shook his head, following you out of the booth and back into the sea of people, acting like you didn’t just share a moment that might change everything from now on.

ETNews tweeted: @YourName looks stunning at the premier of her new movie ‘Fade Into The Ocean’ joined by best friend as her date. Read more at the link.

You pushed your phone away, leaning back against the headboard of your bed. It was really late at night, or maybe really early in the morning, you couldn’t decide. The premier was long, and the afterparty even longer, full of impromptu speeches and a few more last minute interviews, everyone praising the movie. And yet, if you wanted to be honest with yourself, you couldn’t care less – because all you really cared about was the man who had already turned in for the night in the room next to yours.

All you could think about was Ashton and his arm around your waist on the red carpet, his words that kept you grounded, the press of his lips against yours as you kissed in the photobooth, hidden from prying eyes, and the way he held your hand all through the movie. He kept his promise and was by your side all through the night, but after what happened in the booth he turned a little quiet, and when his door closed after you arrived back to the hotel, you were sure you had screwed it all up. This was the moment when you needed him the most, to make sense of everything, to let you know if you crossed a line. But he only wished you goodnight before disappearing.

Now you were left alone with adrenaline rushing through your veins after the premier, and with your feelings which made it hard to sleep. Your beautiful red dress was laid out on the bed next to you, and you softly ran your fingers over the material. Something came over you, you weren’t sure what, but you reached for your bag and fished out the photo strips from the booth. Your eyes scanned the pictures, the smiles and silly faces, the laughter and the loving look you gave each other, and lastly, the kiss. There was no question in you that in that very moment, even if for just one second, he wanted it too.

You laid one of the pictures over your dress, picking up a few small gifts you got as part of the promotion, then snapped a picture of the ensemble. You made sure to not include the very last photo in it – sure, it was a post for your social media, but at the same time, something much more. You knew it could be a bold move, you knew Ashton will know what you have left out of your post, and deep down you hoped it would help the two of you start talking about what happened back there.

yourname shared a post: What a wonderful night at the ‘Fade Into The Ocean’ premier! Thank you to everyone who came out to celebrate with us! Check out the movie if you can!

Special shout out to my best partner in crime @ashtonirwin for being my fun date tonight!

Before you could chicken out you posted the picture, quickly disconnecting from the internet so you didn’t check if Ashton reacted to it or not. You were sure he was already asleep, it’s been more than an hour since you have parted ways in the hallway. Yet still, you were hoping that he understood what you really meant with your post.

You didn’t want to believe it first, but there was a soft knock a few minutes later. You picked up your robe as you crossed the suite, putting it on before opening the door – and there he was. Ashton was standing in front of you, wearing his black sweatpants, something he always wore as PJs. His hair was a mess of unruly curls, tan skin and the ink of his tattoos illuminated in the lamplight of the hallway and your room.

“Hey, uhm… can I come in?” he rubbed the back of his neck, a pink tint colouring his cheeks.

“Always,” you nodded, taking a step back to let him into the room. “Cannot sleep either?”

“No, not really,” Ashton chuckled, following you. “I just wanted to ask you something.”

“What’s that?”

“Can I maybe get my pictures? I think you grabbed both of them.”

“Of course, just… let me get them,” you nodded towards your bedroom, already turning around.

It kinda felt like defeat – like he’s gonna look at them and decide that the first three were fine, but maybe you should both forget about the last one and what it meant. Ashton didn’t seem like he wanted to talk about it, and suddenly you wished he would leave so you could feel pity for yourself. But before you could take a step you felt his hand reaching for yours, grabbing your wrist and tugging you back a little.

“And maybe another goodnight kiss as well?” he cocked an eyebrow at you while softly biting his bottom lip.

Suddenly you needed to laugh, the sound bubbling up from your chest, and you could see Ashton’s smile as well as he pulled you back and against his chest, hands cradling your cheeks as he pressed his lips against yours, kissing you deeply. You wrapped your arms around his neck, pushing up on your tiptoes as you kissed him back, and while you felt dizzy from the way his lips moved against yours, you also felt that calm, safe feeling settling in your heart, the one you always associated with Ashton. This is what home felt like. Being with him.

“Did you really think I’m not gonna bring this up?” he playfully nipped your lip when you finally pulled back, your cheeks heated from his question.

“I thought I went too far,” you whispered, fingers playing with the curls at the nape of his neck. “We didn’t say much after it happened. I mean… I know I kinda ran away, but…”

“I understand. We were at the premier and that wasn’t the time and place where we could talk about this,” he pushed a lock of hair behind your ear, still looking lovingly at you. “But don’t think for a second that I didn’t want to kiss you breathless all through the night. I just needed to, you know, keep myself in check. And I also thought you might have regretted it, and… I’m not sure I could have been able to take that. Not after feeling so much for you all through these years.”

“How long exactly?” you questioned him, and Ashton let out an embarrassed chuckle, knocking his forehead against yours, eyes shining and looking into your eyes.

“Maybe from the moment I met you. But definitely since I’ve poured coffee all over you and you just didn’t give a damn about it. It was so easy to fall in love with you. Cause you know: you were my best friend.”

“You stayed with me all through these years, even though I was seeing other people. Even though I was kissing guys on camera. Even though I only recently realized what you really mean to me,” you cupped Ashton’s jaw, rubbing your thumb over his cheek.

“Took you long enough,” he chuckled again, making you giggle as well. “But it didn’t matter. I was lucky enough to spend most of my time with you, and if that would have been the only thing I got in the end, I still would have taken it, without a question.”

“I don’t want you to feel like that ever again,” you pressed small kisses onto his lips, mumbling words and confessions as he held you close. “Because I’m the lucky one, having a best friend like you. Someone who took care of me and who’s still doing it every day. Someone who’s just an absolutely wonderful human being, and there is really no one who compares to you, Ash. Gosh, I love you so much, and I’ve been trying to push away these feelings because I thought I’m gonna ruin us, but it was just so hard because all through these years you really just felt like–”

“Home?” Ashton finished for you, and you nodded, lost for words. “That’s what you’re making me feel too.”

“Wherever we went, you were always the person I looked for when I felt homesick or alone. You just make everything feel… okay. I would happily lose everything else as long as I have you.”

“Don’t go that far. I do love you being the wonderful actress that you are. I’m happy to cheer you on from the sideline,” Ashton kissed your forehead. “As long as I have you.”

“I think we have a lot to talk about,” you mumbled against his chest as you burrowed closer to him, and you felt him nodding above you. “And I don’t think I could fall asleep now.”

“So how about you give me my pictures and we climb into bed? I could kiss you some more while we figure this all out. And if we do fall asleep, well… we can continue tomorrow. And maybe find another photobooth to make some new memories. I would love to recreate the last picture of us. Many, many times.”

“I’ll make sure to kiss you again. And again. And again.”

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#5soswritingweek2023 #ashton irwin #ashton irwin fanfic #ashton irwin blurb #ashton irwin x reader #afic: someone who feels like home #fiction time

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