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#3: shapeshifter who hit a point of aren’t you tired of being nice don’t you want to go apeshit. has also committed several murders but at
toomuchdickfort · 3 years
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Aljena, looking at her past 3 best friends: ok so do they start out really violent or am I the problem
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14x03 watching notes
Just finished watching and said, out loud and to no one: “Awww Jack.”
(This is not a spoiler, he’s just so sweet.)
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Hallo, I am watching from bed despite having 3rd hand inherited a 2nd monitor over the weekend so theoretically my watching experience would be back to giant comfortable side-typing glory.
But comfy.
Easily accessible stuffed toys because Bobo Fucking Berens in Dabb era has made me cry more at this dumb show in the last couple of years than I cried in the previous ten.
Expectations: it's our Dean episode to make up for no Dean until now, and also Jody is there to see Sam's beard, and also Cas continues to be party!Cas, and Jack's shirts get darker and darker.
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Side note: I think I was rushing out the door before I could talk about our lil Nougat of Denmark properly last episode where he was all, so we're killing my uncle then, and Cas was all D: D: D: D: D: who raised you. (Dean. Dean did. In this regard the boy is his father's son.) This, of course, is another Shakespearean irony than is being returned to Dean via Jack.
The point of this focus is very much to show Jack vs Cas mindsets on it when we're getting Dean returned to us, and I assume considerably more nuance is being added to the story. But for now, Jack being ready to kill his father to kill his uncle because his father was ready to kill him to kill the ghosts he saw of his enemies in Jack is more than enough of a pile of tragedy level angst to be working with.
I just need it to be clear that as far as I'm concerned, Jack is working in a completely different genre from EVERYONE ELSE around him, and the fact that it's the protagonist of a tragedy is fairly alarming, as it's a mindset that Sam, Dean and Cas have hurdled over since season 5/6 and though Dean still assumes he'll die bloody, he is at least capable of dreaming of a happy ending, and a lessening of the angst load has allowed that. Their personal stakes in the story are dwindling, in a sense, while Jack has showed up with like FOUR FATHERS and an evil uncle, which is so much potential family angst Shakey would have exploded. "Wait you can just addeth extra fathers thence addeth extra angst!?!?"
Yes my dude, yes.
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*hits play* *Sam ruggedly cocks his pistol* You're stealing this whole shtick from Dean and I think it is time for the angst that you were the one dramatically cocking a gun and being the yes reductive heteronormative blah blah penis of the dynamic while Dean was not there to do it.
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Oh no we immediately start with more Jack angst recap and aside from everything I just said I remembered that Bobo personally murdered me in 13x03 with the Jack n Sam stuff and here we are a year later.
Mr Stark I don't feel so good
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THE BEARD EXCHANGE IS LITERALLY THE OPENING SCENE. BOBO I LOVE YOU. Thank you for breaking the tension and immediately drawing attention to how Sam has been busy and miserable. I think 14x01 set up well that every time he even had a moment to sigh his phone would ring again, and hence the beard appears as Sam eskews personal grooming and comfort in exchange for finding his brother. Jody is gonna draw attention to it at some point too because we have the promo shot of her nice peach fuzz-ing him, and I sincerely hope this is bookends to the episode and the next episode Sam is clean shaven with no comment except Jody prodded him in the face, and let me tell you only Bobo has me fantasising about the narrative framing of an episode like this.
God i'm a nerd
Anyway more seriously, this exchange coming out of the blue has a clear motive: Dean is up and about, still so freshly de-Michaeled he's in a waistcoat (and LORDY the only other scene he was in a waistcoat? 7x12's ending scene where Sam turns into such a moron in Jody's presence he's waving blushily at the door still AFTER SHE HAS GONE). Complaining about not being able to eat and sleep might be a sense of hyperbole to catch given the lack of elapsed time, but it also warns us that this might be how Dean reacts to being un-Michaeled. Or would he not, given he's up and about and snarking like his old self? How damaged will he be and how much can he repress into snark? He is playing off the very idea that this experience will have been damaging to his psyche and of course Michael did a ton of stuff which was expressly tuned to BE damaging to his psyche, then punched a mirror and shattered Dean's reflection for extra emphasis.
So all this question of how Dean is doing is loaded into the very opening line before he's even taken off his waistcoat, or of course, had enough time to truly eat/sleep/develop massive tells of the psychological trauma he may or may not have taken.
Obviously the show wouldn't be the show if he were fine, so I'm taking it as a question posed.
Then of course it slides into Bro Banter to prove it's Dean, remind us JUST how much we missed this snarky genre savvy fucker, and to make Sammy smile.
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Also we're mocking Jared for being friends with that one Duck Dynasty guy who Jared's fans insist is the least awful of the bunch and also who you end up hanging out with when you're most embedded in the Texan stardom scene rather than living in Hollywood or whatever.
(God imagine being famous and from Atlanta and sticking true to your roots and you end up with the Queer Eye guyses as your BFFs instead)
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Listen Bobo showed his socialist party membership card on twitter, he has no fucks to give about waving his politics around and I love him.
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"If you're going to ask if I'm okay, you don't have to" (I am making fun of your beard, what more do I have to give you, bro?)
Buddy, I have been watching your face for over a decade and you have the sad tired pink eyelids of a Dean who is both tired and miserable.
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Oh NO Dean walks into the main room expecting his comfy quiet library and war room full of 3 trusted family faces, and finds the bustle of Boss Sam's operation. The upcoming noise of these people before he turns the corner is an immediate warning that we should have expected this as dramatic irony for Dean's comfort levels from the start, and now he's back, well.
Panicked eyes.
He needs quiet recovery with his peeps, not alarming sudden change. A rug pull immediately after possession is a terrible thing to deal with. I've been wondering if this is a full reverse of season 6 for Dean - from the trustability of the hunter compound to the fact he lives in it, to the Samuel running it. But the effect is the same. Dean comes back from quiet time off to a change he can't handle and Sam in a new position in a family/hunter heirarchy. In this case, not Samuel's soulless goon, but a fully bearded Boss Sam King Of Hell Sir who Runs Shit competently in a way we the viewer trust implictly as Sam having Done Well, and also that the AU peeps might be a bit rough or untrained in some ways but 100% reliable in that they really do have no ulterior motive and every reason to think of Sam as an AU Moses who popped up and walked them to another land of safety and comfort.
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Like, Dean, welcome back, you have Hamlet, Moses and Mobby to deal with. Cas seems to be the same as you left him, though. If somehow, impossibly, squintier.
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"Right, Chief told us"
GOD I MISSED JENSEN'S MICRO EXPRESSIONS
You know how Michael sucks? No micro expressions. Guy doesn't have an anxious bone in his body.
This little bundle of neuroses I have chosen to love is full on having a meltdown on the other hand.
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"Dean? Is it really you?" "Hey kid"
HUG. THE. BOY.
I suppose this is better than last year when he had a hug from a shapeshifter and had to wait to episode 6 for a hug from his father, but REALLY this season has been tormenting me with how bad Jack feels and even a hug from his gramgram isn't enough to satisfy how he should have been hugged by Sam, Cas and now Dean already this season.
We're only on epiode 3 and he's already got more hugs than he had this point last year. Deep  breaths, Lizzy
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Children need a lot of cuddles to affect their development into sensitive people okay? Dean got a lot of hugs up to age 4 and Sam basically did not, and he's an awkward moose and Dean is snuggly. I want Nougat to have the same development into a sensitive lad because he has EIGHTEEN FUCKING PARENTS AND NONE OF THEM HUG HIM
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CAS HEARD 'DEAN' FROM ACROSS THE BUNKER, ARRIVES IN A BLUR
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GOOD NOUGAT, HUG DEAN.
But like, dude, Cas just showed up at a run and made the gooiest eyes at Dean who made them back, and now you're officially cockblocking, so naff off, kid
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I watched with prayer hands and Cas just got gooier and Dean got sulky he didn't get a Cas hug and this is officially the worst. Bobo, you let me down, my guy.
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I mean no, Cas's gooey eyes were
...
Cas doesn't do gooey eyes. He squints. Squintily.
Who is this guy
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Lol Mobby aren't in the episode because they stayed back to clean up - Sam gets stammery to Jack. Is he scared to imply they're maybe banging because he finds it weird but everyone else present is an even worse audience to announce this to for one reason or another (historically coped much better with the concept of dad sex when discovering adam and also didn't drive the car off the road into a ditch on finding out mary banged ketch), or is he trying to protect Jack from the concept of Michael leaving a pile o dead bodies for one reason or another, knowing Michael is his rage button?
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He was the one who dealt with Jack trying to stay back in the AU to fight Mikey instead of just coming home.
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"Speaking of clean up, I need a shower" *gestures vaguely* *Cas opens his mouth like why did I have a reaction image here? Do you want -* *closes mouth* *dean leaves*
Guys. You fucking suck. Go take a shower together and work things out.
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"Still okay, I promise" *bisexual finger guns at Cas*
cut to: Cas squinting after Dean like "is he implying something"
"..."
"I really feel like he was trying to communicate something to me"
"..."
"I have no idea what Dean just hinted loudly to me twice in short succession and now that he has gone to shower I guess I will never know what he was attempting to communicate to me"
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"Where's Nick?" "Hopefully not in this episode. Let's just say he needs some time because he's in a dark place and hope that's ALL we have to say about him"
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Oh no. "Sam. Dean. How is he really?"
Cas has a one track mind.
But then we get the shot of Dean opening his door and they're still talking about him over the top of it, but it's that same shadowed shot of himself silhouetted in the doorway, the inner darkness represented by his room... Sam went into his and stripped himself of the tools in his pocket but before he could sleep, Jo called and set them all off again with the next lead.
Now Dean opens his door and turns on the light so we can see his inner self in a moment of peace and privacy, but essentially with a voice over about how he's super not okay.
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Just how we left it. You can't even tell that for the last 2 episodes/3 weeks Cas has been coming in and snuggling your pillow every time he's not in a scene because where the fuck was he inbetween scenes in 14x02
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God I have missed lingering shots of Dean's room, equating his inner space to his inner feelings. *paws lovingly at the shot* Dean's room all tidy and orderly and as he left it, yet feeling somehow very very empty and off-kilter in an unfamiliar way because he hasn't been here for so long.
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It was all serious then guitar music started playing as Dean started stripping
and look
I saw the promo pics
you saw the promo pics
some person in the audience is like... why are we lingering on Dean getting undressed alone in his room while guitar music kicks up?
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Is this what all that winking and finger gun action was about?
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(Dean didn't wink but I took a lil break to chat with Mittens and the moment has evolved into him gurning at the door for like a minute trying to remind Cas that this means he joins him in the shower in 5)
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"Fuck this shirt in particular"
I still think it was the audacity of wearing a bow tie that dragged Dean to the surface last episode
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I love how Dean changes from this plain white t-shirt which is completely clean and shiny, into his normal dark dark brown shirt between scenes. I hope he got to shower. Whatever happened, this scar could have said "Ha ha ha I'm behind you", and he would have finished stripping down right to the skivvies then started fresh with his own boxerbriefs before freaking out and rushing to show the others.
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But yeah, he's PISSED and embarrassed about Michael. You don't throw a guy's shirt on the floor like that unless you feel SERIOUSLY used, and here we end up with a creepy sort of STD metaphor, complete with the visual similarity to the clap: https://www.giantmicrobes.com/uk/products/clap.html
Bad fling, Dean?
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Poker!witch gave Sam the clap in the episode which was totally not a metaphor about Sam getting the clap then beating poker!witch at his own game like nearly 20 episodes before he was possessed by Lucifer then beat him at his own game.
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"Do the whole vulcan mind meld thing" Listen, James T Kirk, you can't just MAKE yourself one of the most iconic slash pairings of all time by comparing - wait
wait a minute
*Checks slash history books and sees them as a dictionary definition or two*
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Anyway.
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Dean's so eager for Cas to jump into his head. Just, like. Again. We all said it but immediately after that shirt throw? It REALLY emphasises that Dean sees Cas in this transcendant way to being used by an angel that got in his head. And left an STD mark on his arm. He can just immediately think, well, that sucked. But here's MY angel and I'm just gonna rev myself up and present my head for inspection and this isn't even a thing I'm concerned about. Hit me, big guy.
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Oh come the fuck on Bobo.
I didn't have time to hit pause to have a heart attack about Cas putting his hand over The Scar, the one on the wrong shoulder, to get a clearer reception, because there's a HISTORY in scars, okay? They leave a mark and to the discerning poker and prodder like Cas that history can be read in the mark... And Cas sees... Michael being stabbed by a spear. Not just, like. Seeing Michael being stabbed by a spear, mind you. He sees it in a Bobo episode in a way wildly reminiscent of Patience seeing Claire/Kaia getting stabbed by a VERY SIMILAR LOOKING SPEAR and getting her Wayward introduction that way, when the whole Dreamhunter thing ended up being a massive Destiel parallel and Kaia getting stabbed already mirrored CAS getting stabbed by a spear (Michael's, natch) in 12x12, never mind the other stuff.
So Bobo has just built up a Destiel Dreamhunter sandwich, with Destiel nonsense either side, complete with bonus shoulder scar imagery, and a nice gooey dreamhunter centre.
Bobo, if you hadn't noticed, is really really really really reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaally bitter he isn't off writing Wayward Sisters and hanging with his girls.
There's still a bunch of stuff to add up here, about why and who and how it all connects, which would involve dragging in these other spear-y episodes to assemble the full picture, so I'm just gonna hit play now I'm recovered from the shock :P
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Oh dude it was a hooded figure who even LOOKED like bad Kaia and tbh at this point I'd say maybe even was?
Like, how many pronged spears are out there anyway and Jody's dealing with it so is it local? Did Michael pop up on Kaia like hey so you and I are both from alternate universes, what do you wa - OW FUCK JESUS FUKKIN CHRIST -
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"Dean, who was that?"
Dean recognised her, and Cas was mind-melded enough with him to know that Dean did... Good grief I can not handle Dean and Cas existing on an emotional plane.
It's enough to mean they're the ones who call Jody with a tip off for HER rather than months of them asking her to help THEM.
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Introducing us back to the Wayward world - South Dakota mug, and a text that Claire is a little angel who has been training her gals and even did the laundry.
I'm so happy
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Eyebrow raise
God, Kim Rhodes is the most beautiful woman on the whole show and that's saying something considering, like. Ruthie. Lisa Berry. Something about the way she uses her face is so full of intelligence and humour that I am HELPLESS in her presence
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God damn I want that fabled Girls' Night episode. Billie comes along too on a night off.
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Rowena calls her up for chats sometimes these days, they're actually really good pals.
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Sam you fucking moron you can't even finish a sentence in her presence. Just slap Dean on his WOUNDED arm and throw the ball to him.
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Everyone leaning over the phone... This is the closest Cas has ever come to Jody.
"Jody, that's the good news."
Jody recognises that gravelly voice and snaps to holyshitanangel attention. "What's up?"
The implicit thing here is that Cas and Jody know each others' voices and are on at least chatting acquaintance. I would like to think they're invited over for beer at the same time but we have no proof..................... yet. This is Bobo on a "fuck you" rampage so I'm just, like, gonna wait see.
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Bad Kaia has been going around ripping heads off things. DAMN, GIRL.
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Considering the placement of the pronging was ~random~, in the sense that she can meat fork you anywhere, that means the placement of it on the meat of Dean's arm where the handprint once was on the other is even MORE significant in a metaphorical sense, of writing about "the scar" in the way of giving it a mystical property tied into the wider framework of all these relationships and events at once. The amount piled onto a simple stabbing is unbelievable, and the use of the scar as the vector for all this is definitely the byline of the episode given the title and all. It's brought Kaia back to us, given Jody the clue she needs.
And more dramatic irony that Claire was just asking to help, and Jody was like DEFINITELY HUMAN, SO ALL MINE. HAHAHA. And now we know, no, it's not all "human", it's bad!Kaia and that makes her CLAIRE'S.
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I keep stopping to seal clap
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it's 7:20am
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Cas is packing up to leave with them!!!
And Jack looms blurrily into the background in his darkest t-shirt yet. And he's been RAPIDLY cycling through them.
In a sense this is good laundry practice, in order that you have a full load of lights followed by a full load of darks.
Metaphorically, however, this is BAD.
Jack sounds pissed they're all wearing jackets and packing bags, and he's wandering around in an over-sized dark grey t-shirt (one of Dean's? AUBobby's? It doesn't look like his standard fare which fits his body, this makes him look SMOL), with no idea we were off to kill the wizard.
Let's be charitable and say he wants to meet Jody and hang out with Kaia again.
But more likely Bobo is once again messing with Jack's inherent darkness in his presentation, especially as right now, once again while Jack is being The Sweetest Little Cookie, meeting his grandparents for ice tea and looking through the family photo album with misty eyes, he is ALSO Prince Nougat of Denmark and this is causing some serious darkness slippage because, well, revenge. Revenge is bad, kiddo. Don't need a ghost of your dead father (hey Dean's back) to tell you that.
The accusatory tone is enough to warn us that Jack's not doing so well and I'm going to assume drags Cas away from a mission with Dean followed by cooldown eating pizza and watching flicks with the girls.
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"Kaia's killer is in Sioux Falls" Buddy. "He, she or it can hurt Michael" BUDDY.
I suppose they're bringing Cas because Bad Kaia kicked their asses and they assume Cas is the same height as her pet/metaphor for Kaia's inner fucked-up-ness so he can probably fight it??
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"Michael's my enemy too! I fought him. For MONTHS." JACK sweetie. You can't just go around like, having an enemy list. And comparing it with your collective fathers' list.
The line about bringing Kaia into it and being responsible for what happened to her is good, though. Jack's got a social consciousness and that is lovely because he keeps doubting his goodness but when it comes down to it he wants to meet his grandparents and feels bad that Kaia got dragged into things and killed.
Of course, not realising this is Bad Kaia, they're all off to get MORE revenge on that thing that killed her.
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Aw, Dean, no, don't point out how smol he is. He's wearing a huge baggy shirt to emphasise it already.
"I didn't - I didn't MEAN to be a dick" Whoops. Well, you were. You also missed the part where Jack went from smol precious child to angsty teen.
Fun fact: Hamlet was supposed to be like 18 or whatever, but because a famous actor wanted the lead role but was like, idk, 50, Shakey bumped up Hamlet's age a lil so he could get away with it, making him more of, like, a giant manbaby who is still functionally a teen in all ways except he keeps getting portrayed by middle aged men.
So, of course, we have our one and a half year old Nougat who is a 29 year old actor now getting into his terrible teens, and if that isn't the funnest nugget of trivia...
... then you are not as much of a nerd as I am about irony, coincidence, and neat overlaps of thingies.
Point is: get me a version of Hamlet where the other expected actors are adults of course, but Horatio and Hammy and his squad are dumb teens.
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Lol Bobo just randomly introduces a cool lady hunter who is dragging a random victim of a hex down into the bunker to be healed by an angel. That poor girl is going to have a story to tell.
A lot just happened in a few seconds but at least Jack, who has stormed off for his nth teenage sulk of the season, now has a Cas trapped in the Bunker with him.
Dean n Sam gonna get their asses kicked by Bad Kaia
honestly is this just a ploy not to keep Cas where Jack is, but to keep Misha away from stunt fighting?
Anyway Dean communicates most of the above to Cas silently, and tells him that he should stay with Jack and also heal this girl and they have the most married eye conversation about what  needs to be done, which is wonderful that they've been having these silent conversations all Dabb era but this is definitely the wordiest so far. I mean one of their more recent was just "Dean I can hear that cowboy music in your head" "what cowboy music?"
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DEAN DOESN'T EVEN LOOK THRILLED TO BE DRIVING BABY AGAIN.
Sam mostly looks concerned he's hitting 80mph
I don't know anything about American speed limits but this is an alarming speed to me because in the UK 70 is usually like, the Most, and we don't have enough long straight roads that when there's no speed limit it's ever really recommended to go super fast because you will flip your car and die because all our roads are one and a half car length wide and extremely wiggly. And our motorways are congested enough you're more likely to be in a traffic jam than top speed anyway :P
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I love that Dean measures people by their favourite Spice Girl. Hey Dean the 90s called, they want their pop culture relevance back.
You gay icon you.
(I'm reminded of 12x07 and Bobo and a similar conversation where Dean listed off all his manly manly historical faves)
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Dean thinks Cas can handle it back home :')
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"Something huge happened and you won't really talk about it!"
Okay Sam, he's traumatised and that's surface text.
You do realise the entire massive subtext is his repression and yet another metaphor for some huge queer experience and that this is the same conversation as 10x04 when he was grumbling into his chin about being embarrassed about what he did with Crowley? You realise that right?
Stop poking him about it, he'll talk when he's ready to open up. In the mean time he's feeling used and ashamed that this fling didn't go as planned after the whole first flirtation with waving his wings around and killing Lucifer where it all seemed fun to embrace his ~true self~ and have a crack at being a Flaming Michael Sword.
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Also of course, we might just take him on his word that he really does NOT remember most of everything that happened because if he was truly repressing that much he wouldn't have been so gung ho for Cas to read his mind earlier but this mood pre-dates that so even if he remembered everything when Cas poked his brain, which seems unlikely as Cas saw it too, the wider sulk about his Clap Scar is more than just this.
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It's a common experience, though, that Dean is repressed and moody, and Sam barrels in there trying to make him talk about it before he's ready, so the pressing is in character, regardless, that Sam doesn't trust that Dean is telling the whole truth and that there's some huge secret he's holding back.
The best part of queer subtext is that whether there is one or not it works - if there isn't, it's a metaphor for the obvious. If there is, same as above but the metaphor is concretely attached to whatever Dean is not telling Sam, and that in turn then becomes a part of the queer subtext, offered up on a platter to tell us more about how Dean is handling his post-possession shame of being, essentially, roofied after thinking he'd agreed to a consensual fling with a dude on his terms of entry and no strings attached, no walk of shame like he did when he was undressing earlier.
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Poor guy can not catch a break. Shoulda hooked up with Aaron when you had the chance so your first time having a dude in you wasn't such a big deal, but just a nice booty call to keep in your phonebook. Now it's all Crowley this, Michael that...
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"We need to deal with it." "Okay, I'm literally going EIGHTY to deal with it"
Dean, that's.
that's not therapy
"How can I be running from something when I'm RACING towards it" "I don't know, it's kinda your thing"
Sammy boy you have been trapped in the same car as Dean for way too long. Your analysis is getting deep. Deep deep cuts. Leave him alone.
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I mean this is a guy who dealt with a gay panic by hooking up with Crowley and singing karaoke for him so.
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"I  just *need* you to talk to me. Slow down."
Oh SAM you said a good and interesting combo of words there. Dean, go 70 instead of 80, give us some time to feel this out because I've been FREAKED and, for you, you got a time skip but I lived it all real time and it SUCKED, and I'm hurt too by this. Reminder: our family does not do well with LOSING each other, and this is every conversation we've ever had post-thinking that happened, and I did things responsibly and grew a beard and became Boss of a bunch of peeps and also King of Hell but we'll talk about that later... Like, slow down. I have my issues too. There's 2 of us in this car and you can't go 80 and time skip to the end of this conversation either. Not when I have 3 weeks of angst packed into it.
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Also: classic Sam projection. Trying to get Dean to open up because HE has pain he wants to air, instead of just bringing up how he felt, he tries to get Dean to open up, and when this continues, as always, not to be how Dean deals with things, Sam gets upset because it never gives him the opening to talk about his shit until it's an argument...
You could have just started the convo, sorry about the beard, I really mean it when I say I haven't had a moment to myself for 3 weeks, it's been HELL and funny I should mention Hell, er, did you know you can kinda just declare yourself king these days... heh
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At least he's using racing metaphors about wanting to catch up and also, like, catch up
Dean responds to the sport metaphors
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Dean is like nah call Jody we're almost there. I skipped ahead.
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Look, I'm delivering you to your boo, what more do you want?
Jody smiles at the sight of them in a way which is almost as revolting as Cas smiling at seeing Dean again
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Hugs!
Send Jody to the Bunker to HUG OUR BOY
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"How'd you do it?" "What, me vs some assbag archangel? Who would you pick?" "You, every time."
And this, guys, is how Jody is never, ever patched into their angst, because they present a narrative where Dean just kinda chucked off Mikey and sent him packing and it's all cool and he's a hero.
Jody has at multiple points threatened to beat Dean into submission in order to hear a true version of how he's doing and he has so far not given in and sat at her kitchen table with a box of tissues to sob through his crap, but I hold out eternal hope like the fool I am.
Anyway it's also telling RIGHT AFTER that last conversation where Sam was probing Dean so intensely, that this is the version of "I'm fine" that Dean is going with, and even though Sam KNOWS there's more to it, this is the wall Dean is projecting, even to him. Even when he knows Dean is freaked by it and doesn't know all the details.
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Jody goes up like 18 pitches "Heeey I liiIIIiiike it!" she squeaks, forcefully tweaking Sam's beard because "nice peach fuzz" is too understated both for Jody and the volume of facial hair Sam has produced without comment until Dean came back and Jody showed up.
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Dean has never been so offended in his life
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*Jody continues giggling to herself while Sam desperately looks for a normal conversation*
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AHAHA "I haven't been home since I talked to her........... I may be avoiding her"
Yeaaaah, bringing up that it's not just a normal human beheading and weird stab mark, but ALSO a KAIA-RELATED ONE maaay be... too much.
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i'm going to be honest I've been so thrilled about everything I forgot to check what cast is flashing up on the screen
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Anyway there is very much a subtext to Jody's avoidance of telling Claire what's going on that she knows how much she loved Kaia and how much of an issue this is - even if it's gonna be for revenge, because they don't know it's Bad Kaia - this is something where Claire's feelings make a MESS.
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Bobo gets in Sam's serial killer thing, Dean is staring into the void like am I still even here or am I in hell. Is this a hell that Michael conjured. Mikey. Hey. Mikey. I figured it out. We're done here. Let's go back to regular torture. Michael. This is the bad place. Michael.
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Dean stomps off into the woods because waiting for daybreak means being stuck in the same room as Jody and Sam flirting for a few hours.
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Jody firmly pokes Sam in the chest with a map.
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Sam.
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A raven caws in the background, and Jack is wearing layers, the darkest shirt yet, a thick corduroy jacket in the style of early Sam, and is packing a bag.
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He wrote a note and his handwriting is as disgustingly adorable as I thought it might be.
Alex wrote "Jack" with a cutesy backwards K in an autograph for someone who requested it at a con and I thought that was a cute detail but not how Jack would write and the real story - and I assume like with others they made him write it in character - is much more nuanced. His letters are competently shaped like he knows exactly how they should be, but shakily written, like he's not used to holding a pen, because, well, he isn't. He's not developed the muscle memory for it, just as he hasn't for fighting and all the other stuff, because in may ways he IS still a smol toddler with no life skills. His capital letters are huge and precise, like he knows he has to write them big, but disproportionate - putting so much emphasis on the titles of the people around him, the capital letters a metaphor for their influence on him. There's something clearly unconfident about writing and yet for all that obviously written by someone intelligent enough not to make basic errors of backwards letters and other things. He knows exactly how he is SUPPOSED to do it, but the execution is shakey, and disproportionate and generally looks unschooled and painfully revealing of his entire state of being.
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Is this the scene where Bobo said out loud to an empty room, awww Jack.
-
I've been dreading that since the hiatus.
Maybe I should dig up that post and use it as the title for this one.
-
Triss is gonna die, Jack stopped by the stairs up out the Bunker in the war room, heard and saw Cas moving around, then in a fit of conscience or missing him already or something, stopped by to open the door and look in.
They have DEFINITELY expanded the Bunker set, in the sense that they've attached extra rooms to it or Wanek has sat down and made some parts more standardised, because they've shown off the corridor connections in every episode so far, and in this one we're seeing a never-seen-before connection which actually explains what is behind that window and how it fits. I mean, I'm pretty sure we've seen this particular room a few times, window and all, but never actual connections which show connected sets, so much as scenes starting or stopping there with no transition.
-
"She's been enchanted" "Like sleeping beauty" Jack says with awe "Awwwwwwwwwww" Lizzy says with awww
I honestly can't tell which moment Bobo said "Aw Jack" out loud about because we're getting such a series of them
-
Anyway, Hamlet, the great procrastinator, is distracted away from his mission to kill his uncle.
Not sure about the overlap of hearing things from the other side of a wall but I mean at least he's not going around stabbing people so
-
Jack also seeing all the important work they do for other people, even randos, and Cas getting involved in huntery business, distracted from emotionally nurturing him because of sleeping beauty there, and phoning rowena, doing the work to unknot a spell...
If we get Cas doing spellwork I'm gonna die, it's been Too Long.
-
Cas [squinting]: "Are you going somewhere?" Sleeping Beauty: "ooooww" Jack: "No."
Hon, that was so suspicious you are lucky this is Cas and not one of your other dads.
But. Aww Jack to an empty room.
-
"If I get a vote I'm team stick together" Jody remembers 9x19
Also Sam remembers bad!Kaia kicking their butts. They're on her natural territory
she is the Predator.
-
Sam keeps LOOKING at Jodio.
Look, I just
Cas keeps looking at Dean, Dean keeps looking at Cas
Jam won't stop looking at each other
-
That head is a Warning.
Come no further, mortals
-
I think Bad Kaia lives here
-
Vampires.
they really need to figure out how to biologically identify them except for teeth because they really come up against a lot of dead ones
-
Oh
"I brought tissue samples home, Alex ran them underneath the microscope"
Look, girls supporting girls, I knew what they needed to do before they did it lol
-
Dean: I was stabbed here
-
YAY I went frame by frame before the reveal and that is Kaia's face in there, the hood less spooky than before and more open to reveal her
-
Dean: bout to be stabbed here again
-
Dean finally has the moves to take on Bad Kaia after a season or two with the new stunt guy
but then her hood falls back and he's STUNNED
-
Now everyone is stunned
-
I think they've been using the Wayward Sisters Bad Place soundtrack for this but I'd have to check
the music is so very different and I'm not good at music ear thing
-
Cas: *eye twitches violently* Me: Cas why are you having trouble with this line Cas: "... marked.................... 'gross stuff'"
Cas, internally: Why did I marry into this family
-
Future MoLHunter 100 years later: "Man, this place is sweet, but the filing system is balls to the walls." Other Future MoLHunter: "Babe, you did not read the Winchester Gospels before your initiation?" F MoLHunter: "There is a drawer here marked 'hands of god' and the only thing in there is a pair of chopsticks and a ladel" OF MoL Hunter: Okay I will give you that. -
Me out loud to an empty room: aww Jack
He's so concerned about Sleeping Beauty, and he can't do anything about it but he's curious.
Maybe he CAN fix her and this is how he gets a lil power back.
I hope so because awww Jack being so concerned about her.
This is a Good Procrastination From Revenge
Hamlet, take fucking notes
-
"Is that your dad?" "One of them, yes." Aw Jack
Aw Bobo
Jack's flipping around on family - he's accused them of talking about nick/Lucifer as his father, he's disowned everyone but grampa and grammy Kline, and now he's fondly thinking of his three hero dads
He's really struggling to work out his place and what sort of family set up he belongs to and to be fair, he has so many fucking options and all of them are somewhat disastrous or tragic, so he's 100% in his right to be fuckin confused.
On the other hand Sleepy Beauty has no context so she's gonna assume Cas is gay married with a kid Jack's age and that's like, not untrue.
-
"My mom... but she probably hates me" "Why?" Jack says, horrified at the entire concept that a mom could hate a child, because, well, Kelly's love was COSMIC for him "because I left," she anvils
-
"I was sick of being treated like a kid, and i thought I could make it on my own" Oh boy. She's just expositioning how Jack feels and immediately telling him if he leaves he'll fall in with a witch, who curses her with an AGING spell which will make her old before her time.
I feel like there is probably... a metaphor........... in here...............
-
Also a reverse of Dean's aged down curse, because the girl and her other victims were hansel and greteled.
I had a sudden whim a couple of nights ago to see aged down Dean and current Jack hang out. Bring back Dylan Everett to go play basketball with Jack out on the front step.
-
"Gave us all nice things," she says, clutching at a HUGE EVIL EMERALD PENDANT AROUND HER NECK
Jack.................................
Is that cursed
-
"She said having us there kept her young" She put her own age into that locket
dang I should get a bonus point for bringing up poker!witch before he was relevant
I'm always curious about the show's implications about witches maintaining their youth by sucking it from others, because almost every witch we've met who had a focus on age was doing it for that reason, whether it was eating children or playing poker.
And we have a 300 year old witch chilling around who we don't know anything about when it comes to immortality, except that she has it and she bestowed it on Oskar so it's clearly a spell she can do rather than an inherent trait of reaching a certain level of magic practitionery.
-
"Then it started taking me too. Even faster than the others!" yeah because she killed the witch so she probably has to suck poor sleeping beauty dry in order to regenerate and skulk away and start over somewhere
-
PS: Sleeping Beauty is really doing an amazing performance here. I 100% am in Jack's shoes of being horrified and wanting to protect her
-
"Cas is going to fix this. I promise" Sweetie! Have you ever called him Cas rather than Castiel before? It seems weird. He even wrote castiel on the letter
-
Sam deducts Michael's entire plan off the clue that Alex couldn't detect the vamps in her sciencing, and based on having been attacked by super werewolves.
But why is Michael cleaning up these people?
Unless he's taking threats off the board who would be too cool and powerful and may challenge him...
-
"Doesn't change the plan" "but Dean - "
Dean walks off
Dean has no time for Sam suggesting maybe this is something awful because of Michael that Dean might know about or else be weirdly intimately connected to because of his weird Michael-based condition.
We have no clue what's going on and Sam doesn't like that and Dean's powering through and Jody is hovering in the background like WOW I can see why you leave me out of all your dumb main plot angst normally. Never done me one of these MAIN PLOT ones before. Can we go back to normal MotW where you're low key angsting in the subtext about whatever currently ails you?
-
Jody slaps Sam on the lower back
lower, babe. Lower.
-
Cas does magic, boom purple smoke!
Aw no she's still withered.
Jack, take her necklace off and smash it
because you did the good work of a hunter and talked to her and through being kind discovered what was wrong with her
-
Jody has a phone provider that gets her signal in the wilderness
-
"Claire's been doing so good, but anything connected to Kaia... she's a powder keg"
"FIRST LOVE STRIKES QUICK, AND TO LOSE IT LIKE THAT"
okay no Jody didn't shout it, but Bobo did.
ILY Bobo
I'm like 0% surprised but I am guessing other people who had been less trusting are throwing a complete party to have it textually confirmed like that. I felt like Bobo's intent especially when he went on the record in that stream AND he had been saying already that he shipped it right after Wayward Sisters, that he never ever meant to be coy about Dreamhunter, and confirming that Claire was madly in love with Kaia was a top priority on his fuck you list since he didn't get to write the show he wanted in order to work on this naturally.
-
Sam nods like fair enough, happened to me with Jess, but uh wow okay no i did not - yeah okay yeah
-
"He's not ready for this case" "maybe he needs it"
Jam jam jam jam
I mean
Yeah mature adults discussing issues together and working out how they feel about Dean rage-hunting Bad Kaia
-
hey look it's that one cabin that has been in like every episode of the show in the same way that one little stoney valley was in every episode of BBC Merlin
-
Has she lost her spear??
-
Dean, that was RUDE, you're so horrible to all these versions of Kaia
-
That zoom up on his face is one of the top 10 Dean Is Not Okay zooms of the show
-
So not like "bad cas" or "new bobby" are Dean's definitions for AU peeps - no word on what Charlie is to him, maybe because AU Charlie is a real issue for him to define as he couldn't help treating her like his Charlie.
But Bad Kaia insists that she is to Kaia what she is to me - they're joined in a different way. A way that back in Wayward Sisters was implied to be a dreamwalking connection of a very different sort, something anchoring our Kaia to the bad place and their connection was... weird.
-
"That was an accident. I was trying to kill the blonde" She's remorseful about killing Kaia but upsets them even more by reminding them that she was out for Claire instead.
How about we kill no one, bad Kaia
-
Oh no, Michael keeps sending monsters after her... Now she sounds like the original Kaia just because she's got "always more" things out for her. I suppose Michael learned of her through Dean, found her, and either wants to stop her or capture her because she has universe-crossing dreamwalking abilities, and woooow that will be useful to him.
-
NOOO SLEEPING BEAUTY DIED. THIS IS REALLY BAD. JACK COULDN'T SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAVE HEEEEEEEEEER
waaaaaaaaaah
Stop fuelling Nougat having an interesting dark arc about his entire self and purpose and let him just hang around the bunker and watch TV and eat nougat and be hugged. Can we not just have a son who is okay and nothing is wrong with him?
-
Oh no even the random hunter (did I really catch her name as Brunhilda or did I imagine that?) is crying at Jack crying over Sleeping Beauty dying. Cas is contractually obliged not to cry or do complicated stunts but he looks miserable too.
Oh, jack figured out the pendant?
But can they actually save Sleeping Beauty?
-
Sam as usual getting in before I can - "Break her!??!?"
don't you dare hurt Kaia any more, she's already told you what she knows, Michael hurt her, you punched her out with the same face and then threatened her a bunch. She might be a snarky monster-hunting feral woodland weirdo but she's still Kaia-like and you have a history of being completely horrible to Kaia-like girls when you're in a bad place.
-
And it turns out Dean just wants the spear that pronged him, to figure out what it did and how to hurt Michael with it. To go on his own revenge mission that he denied Jack because, guys, we are now in competition for who gets to have the angsty anti-Michael revenge mission. Jack and Dean literally competing to be most angsty about it.
Jack is being considerably more productive even if Dean solved the Kaia mystery.
But yeah. Revenge sucks you guys.
-
Dean you need to eat a snickers and take a rest.
-
smiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiirk because fuck you Dean for always hurting me and the other Kaia who is probably also me.
-
Jack is being much smarter.
The smartest cookie.
Who needs powers when you are a good cookie.
-
"She wasn't cursed. This was."
GOOD COOKIE.
-
I vote Jack gets to kill Michael. Dean has lost his Michael killing rights.
-
"You're no different from him. Threats, violence, anything to get what you want." "I am nothing like him."
Hon.
"Yeah you are. And you always have been."
I don't know if Kaia knows or if she's pulling a gambit, but acting like a mystic know it all and reading Dean stone cold in a villain way sure did take some of his rage away into that good old Dean self-loathing and fear, which was one heck of a good chess move regardless of if she can magically read him or not.
No I don't think Dean is these things but Michael is a means of exploring Dean's "blunt little weapon" sort of mindset that he has suffered from because of John's upbringing all this time, and Michael emotionally mauling Dean to the point of being a non-functioning worst version of himself who threatens Kaia (AGAIN) really is an on the nose way to display the sort of trauma that Michael tore into his psyche.
-
Crap I need to go to yoga, but this is too good to rush so even though I don't have much left, I will be back for proper notes in a bit!
-
Him smash magic glowy thing with hammer
just like i told myboy to do!
Cas's hair is ridiculously spiky.
-
"What happened?"
YOU MADE NOUGAT FEEL GOOD ABOUT HIMSELF THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED
Aww jack to an empty room
-
Sam I  have been gone for hours. How have you not tackled Dean to the floor and apologised to Bad Kaia
-
"I saw what you did to her, when you got angry. You shoved your gun in her face." To be fair, at the time Dean had also been emotionally mauled by the feels bear because Jack gave him a vision of Mary being tortured in Hell-equivalent and he was also fucked up beyond belief.
Kaias really are seeing the worst side of him all the time.
-
Bobo likes breaking Dean
-
That was enough to make Dean let go
Also to ask a really good question about how she knows!
I'm way more curious about Kaia than Dean yelling at her :P
-
Then she points out that he's angry and impatient because he's scared, like, duh, but sometimes he needs to be reminded that he can have "weak" emotions like that because he wants to be all tough and on the case and instead he's freaked out because Michael has messed him up completely. Like. Stay home. Help the boy with lore or something. Take a pyjama day.
-
Wheee full flashback!
The early evening light gives it a Bad Place colour tinge, which is awesome.
-
I can't believe Mikey shows up in his hat but not his jacket.
-
He says he's BORROWING Dean here. Hm.
-
Also, what I suspected, that he sensed her around and was just curious. Probably having a "what the fuck that's KAIA!?" from Dean inside him and being like Kaia huh? Time to chat.
-
Mikey do you literally not have your own version of that fuck off huge spear they stabbed Cas with a couple seasons ago, or do you just collect cool spears?
There's something more than usually terrifying about his face in this conversation.
And he now says there's a war coming and thinks something weird like Bad Kaia might appreciate being on his side.
Oh boy.
-
"Wild one" that's so cool
-
Michael really has some great lines for being a massive pillock
-
Omg he fight good too
-
AAH this is Kaia's memory and she's psychically implanting it in Dean's head
"Stop!" he says, clearly not enjoying watching himself beat up Bad Kaia and, like, realising exactly how awful it looks to do this when he has to watch himself from the outside and for all we know feel her pain too.
-
Of course Dean being desperate to get the spear to fight Michael could come across with a blur of ambiguity of Michael being desperate still to have it, whether to stop Kaia using it or because he just really wanted it and doesn't like being told no.
The concept that Michael just disappeared from Dean still lingers.
-
So many fights with a whole bunch of people this season. Maybe just because there's so many friggin characters
-
"Now you're in trouble" *Bad Kaia literally leaps through a window to avoid dealing with this* I love her
-
NICE STAB
thanks for saving Jody
-
Well that was quick
Also you're badass and terrifying and I think Claire might fall in love with you too >.>
-
"I'm used to it" Oh babe.
She literally raised herself in a terrifying doomy forest so
I mean at least this world has dry crackers and beans. SCORE
-
Jody has got a LOT of thinking to do about how to phrase any of this to Claire.
"So there's a feral Kaia living in the woods outside of town"
-
Awww Sam offering her a lift to the hospital
Bobo wants us to remember 9x06 and Dean having to tend Cas's broken hand maybe
-
Sam. Hug her right now. RIGHT NOW.
-
Nope Jody just looks really tormented
-
She's in a reverse Jack position - one mom to 3 hunters instead of one kid to 3 hunters :P
-
Hey look it is Jack and one of his fathers.
"Jules is off!" Hey look Sleeping Beauty was called Jules. Nerdylittleshit doesn't read these notes however so she will never know that I decided this character was named after her :P
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Cas apologises for not being there for Jack, because it took this long to realise he's the father who's always at work while others have taken the stereotypically maternal role to Jack, Cas just gets to be the cool strong father who is usually dead, captured or just busy saving people and too busy for Jack as a result.
-
"It's okay," Jack says, sounding considerably more emotionally balanced about it than he had in 14x01 when everyone was neglecting him
-
"Today you PROVED that you have the mind of a hunter. And the heart of a hunter" Raised by the best, bitches!
-
Awwww Cas wants to be a hunter with Jack! They can get a terrible car and hit the road and do an easy case and bond as they go and eat crappy food at diners and
Jack develops Nephilim Flu in response to having a nice moment with a father because he's so unused to being treated with full attention.
-
Cas: *squints*
-
"Must be getting my first cold!"
I have a cold too Jack! Awww!!
-
Cas is going to make him some soup. This is too sweet. I don't even have words for any of this it's just gross. My teeth hurt.
-
Jack I swear to god if you stopped your revenge quest and it hurt you so bad inside you're about to cough up a lung I am going to LA to kick the writers' asses in person so if you dare be even the slightest bit consumptive
-
Oh thank god the scene changed before he coughed blood into his hand
-
Awww and then Dean admits Sam was right, while still being the one driving on the way back.
I wonder if they filmed these side by side. "Dean slow down" "Sam you were right"
-
"What Michael used me for" Ouch, hearing him say it like that... Sad sad thoughts.
He just wanted to skip ahead and have it all done because revenge makes you feel SO much better.
-
"Dean... you did what you had to do" Okay it's even worse hearing someone else justify it rather than hearing that phrase come out of someone's mouth. At least when they say it about themselves they're just in a bad place. I don't even know if this is a pavlovian response I'm having but really flipping it around to have Sam say it is a validation - Sam certainly thinks things are better off with a dead Lucifer and would have a favourable bias, because it got the job done and whatever Mikey is up to at least it's not Lucifer doing it. Because even if Lucifer were doing the exact same things it would just be intangibly but clearly worse.
-
"It wasn't a blink, being possessed."
Dean says to Sam, who has been possessed by an angel twice and when it was Gadreel, for almost as long as Dean was Michaeled
-
Dean's so freaked out because fighting the drowning sense of being possessed was so horrifying and made him feel so weak and useless and he didn't even win that fight, Michael just bailed and let him have it back. With the "I own you" hovering over him.
It certainly reeks of being haunted by a bad relationship. The sense the nasty abusive ex hovering around outside the place you work every night...
-
"And it's all on me, man" No it isn't, he got through because Lucifer told him how.
-
Well I mean if you wanna go cosmic consequences, yeah it is because Billie done told you not to go universe hopping and that's several billion dominoes you messed around with doing exactly that
-
But despite how I spent all of season 13 SHRIEKING at you not to do it while knowing full well you did, and how this is technically your cosmic hubris for doing that, I also don't actually blame you on a personal level, Dean. Just, like, so you know once I get back to the shrieking. Because ow you are very sad and in pain and if Nougat wasn't coming down with Nephilim Flu in the other scenes I'd basically rank you No 1 for wrapping in blankets and feeding soup.
-
You're still in the top 10. Jodi had a pretty bad day too :P
-
Oh COME ON JACK
*starts packing my bags for the ass kicking*
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Aww Jack to an empty room
-
Um EXCUSE ME HOW MANY CONSUMPTIVE TISSUES HAVE YOU GONE THROUGH?
GO FIND YOUR FATHER RIGHT NOW
-
HAVE YOU BEEN DOING THIS FOR THREE WEEKS?
Well no wonder you've been in a panic to get Michael killed.
SHEESH.
Dean's back and he's gonna kick your ass because he remembers when Sam did this in the Trials and he is very very anti consumptive family members.
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Putting the Cat in Catastrophe Chapter 3
Bonjour, mes chers! Sorry for the long delay, but things only just settled down after I got back from camping with my family! I hope you enjoy the third chapter. I'll be posting the advanced chapters up on my patreon here shortly, so keep an eye out and remember pledging a little as a dollar can unlock great bonus content!
Consider supporting me to see more stories like this one! $29/100 down for the podfic goal!
Pledge to me at https://www.patreon.com/mjanderson Buy me a coffee at https://ko-fi.com/mjanderson
Click here to read on FFN Click here to read on AO3
Summary:  Danny Fenton has just escaped from a secret government testing facility and runs straight into Andrew Riter - a busybody librarian who seems to be obsessed with helping a stray black cat - said stray black cat happening to be Danny himself. The Government gets interested when they find out a seemingly ordinary human can shapeshift into different animals. Danny just wants to return to his family and try to find his lost memories, but he’s having a hard time doing so when he’s finding less and less reasons for leaving Andrew’s side. He couldn’t tell anyone his secret - not again - but… But why did he want to trust this man so badly? (Iambic Prose) (Shapeshifter Danny AU)
Warning: This story will have references to laboratory testing, mentions of vivisections, blood, wounds, character trauma, and things of a similar sort. Most mentions of such things will be vague, but there will be heavy mentions of it and warnings at the beginning of chapters when it gets explicit.
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Chapter Three
::
"I suppose if I miss lunch with Randy he'll be even more worried. He'll probably even try to move back in with me, again." Remembering the hell that came from sharing an apartment with his overbearing and well-concerning brother last time, Andrew groaned and pushed himself to his feet before looking down to the bedraggled scrap of fur still curled up in his arms. "You'll remind me to stop by and get my meds filled, won't you?"
There was a sound between a meow and a purr, Andrew choking on a laugh as he threaded his fingers through the wet black fur. "I've fallen rather far already, so I might as well ask. Would you like to come to lunch with me? You'll have to meet my brother, but he usually pays for lunch and, if nothing else, it's free food that isn't alive and moving."
The cat in his arms seemed to study him for a long few moments before collapsing, rather dramatically, and near falling out of his arms. As soon as Andrew was sure he wasn't about to actually fall and hit the ground, he was choking on a laugh. "You're a dramatic little thing, aren't you?" He was going to take the loud, wild murr sound as an agreement. Besides, if that noise was supposed to be an argument, then it just proved his point about the dramatism. "Come on, then."
Shifting the cat into one arm, Andrew braced the umbrella over them with his other as he began walking through the streets. Memorial Day meant there was a fair amount of traffic running back and forth, but other than that there was absolutely no one out walking - not that Andrew could blame them. They were probably smart enough to check the weather forecast before going outside.
Jeez, it was bad enough that even with the umbrella they were still getting wet. He supposed a cheap little thing could only do so much against wind like this. Ugh. The last dying storms of May always seemed the worst. It was like winter was giving them one last 'present'. It- Well, Andrew could understand why others disliked winter as they did, that was for sure. Maybe-
A sharp meow jerked him out of his thoughts, Andrew looking down in bewilderment the exact second a gust of wind tore through town and ripped away his umbrella and left a nice gash on his palm from one of the prongs snagging him. Hissing at the pain, Andrew quickly curled around the now screeching cat, shifting and moving to get his coat open enough for the little thing to curl up against his, somewhat dry, chest.
"Hey, hey, we're alright. Just a bit of rain and wind." There was another loud screeching noise and Andrew was pretty sure he was being yelled at by a cat. How delightful a day, so far. "Alright, a bit more than just a bit, but it's really not that bad. You had better not be blaming your bad luck either, petit chaton." Andrew tapped at the little thing's nose, grinning at the snuffle. "I had bad luck long before I met you."
Making sure the kitten was reassured enough to curl up to him and settle down, Andrew squinted up through the downpour as he shielded his hurt hand as much as possible. While walking six blocks to the cafe he and Randy ate at was never a difficult thing to do, today it felt like nothing more or less than a biblical journey.
Any dry spots he had left on him were mercilessly soaked to where he felt like he was wading through the ocean. It was only the little black bundle of fur pressed against his chest that kept him from breaking down in the middle of the streets and screaming at God and hadn't he been punished enough-
"Andrew?!" The shout of his name was barely even heard, but Andrew didn't fight it as he was jerked inside an open door and- Oh.
"Bonjour, Amy. Doing well, I hope?" Their usual server, and long time friend, was looking at Andrew as if he had just crawled out of a sewer. He certainly felt it, so he couldn't blame her. "I know what you're thinking, but it really isn't bad-"
"You look like hell. You look like every religion's version of hell- You look like the hell that the religions who don't have hell would say hey, you look like hell." Waiting for Amy to breath, Andrew quickly jumped in.
"Honestly, it's not that bad. I just got caught in the rain when it really started hitting. See? Just a little wet it all!"
"Just a little- Is that blood on your hand? Randy!" Oh, no. "And hide that cat, you know the manager hates even seeing service animals in here." How the hell- "Cat tail."
"Yes, well, shut up." Tucking the kitten more out of sight, Andrew looked up and almost had heart failure as he met Randy's gaze. He had five seconds to regret his life before he was caught up in a hug tight enough that had him squeaking and had the cat giving a startled shriek of a noise. It did help in getting Randy to let go of him, though, so that was good.
"Okay, first question, what the hell was that?" 'First.' As his bundle of dirty fur poked his head out of the coat and hissed at Randy, Andrew gave a tired giggle. He did need sleep soon, didn't he?
"It's a long story." Startling at the dry towel that fell over his head, Andrew blinked to see Amy carrying a whole armful of fluffy white towels.
"Good. You can explain while we dry your stupid ass off. Honestly, walking around in this without an umbrella- And how did you mess your hand up?"
"Ah, yes, that. Well, it's an explanation as to where my umbrella went." Andrew ignored the glare as he held his hand out to Randy's probing fingers, not even able to drudge up the energy to roll his eyes when his brother had his hurt hand dried off, wiped clean, and wrapped in bandages in a heartbeat. Paranoid, he was.
"Winds that bad, huh," Randy snorted, using the towel to gently dry Andrew's hair before grabbing another one, distracting the cat with a bit of clicking and hand movement, and then snatching him up into the towel. He then quickly gave him back to Andrew.
"Oh, yes, give me the murderous ball of fluff." The cat looked less murderous and more confused, though. Andrew would have liked to comfort him, but Amy was already patting down at his back.
"You're a matching pair. Twins, maybe." Mm. "Come on, I already ordered for us." As the two nudged him along, Andrew allowed himself a small sigh. If nothing else was right in his shit life, at least he had a great big brother and wonderful friends. Well. The plural of that last part could be debated, he supposed, depending on the day and friend he was dealing with. "You had better not get sick, either. Really, Andy, I deal with animals, not humans - and I'm not about to be the next Doolittle."
"Actually, depending on which iteration you're talking about, that was a medical doctor who became a veterinarian." Andrew was pushed down into his seat for his troubles. "Seeing as you deal with animals, however, I might just have a new patient for you."
"Yeah, you know, I kind of noticed," Randy snorted, throwing a few more towels on Andrew before he took his own seat. "I think that's the most sickly, bedraggled little thing I've ever seen." Said 'sickly, bedraggled little thing' promptly hissed at Randy and managed to wiggle a paw out to flex claws at him. "Cute."
"Isn't he?" Andrew grinned, grabbing the paw and giving it a little shake. He was honestly surprised he wasn't scratched for that, but he was more amused by the cat's once more confused expression.
"Sorry, I'm a little distracted because you're holding a cat. A black cat. Andy, frérot, don't you have enough bad luck as it is?"
"Oh, please. You and I both know what a silly superstition that is. Honestly, just because a few people in a colony thought they were the servants of witches we now have-"
"Blue eyes." Snapping his mouth shut, he looked to Randy, Andrew swallowing at the look that was very close to pitying. "Andy, your cat there has blue eyes."
Not having a response to that one, Andrew looked down as their food arrived. Shoving his fork around his dry chicken salad, Andrew picked out a few smaller pieces of chicken before beginning to feed the cat still wrapped up in a towel in his lap. It was a bit sad to see there was no suspicion at the food and instead the cat was gulping it down as fast as possible.
He got through four pieces before Randy finally sighed. "Alright, alright, I'll schedule some time to take a look at him tomorrow. He probably just needs a round of shots and maybe some antibiotics." Ah. The cat was hissing again. "Hey, I'm taking time out of my schedule and money out of my clinic to look at you. You had better appreciate it."
"Isn't that illegal to take money from the clinic?" This time Randy was the one to give a long silence. "If you go to jail again-"
"Hey, last time wasn't my fault!"
"Just like the first, second, and third time weren't your fault?"
"They weren't. I just had some bad influences in my life is all."
"Bad influences! You broke into at pet store and freed all the pets!"
"I found them all homes, didn't I?"
"Randy-"
"So, what are you going to name him?" Oh, look, something that managed to shock him into silence. He was surprised Randy had managed to ask him something so stupid. "Well, you're keeping him, aren't you?"
"Wha- Since when did I say I was keeping him! I have no plans on keeping him and so giving him a name would be superfluous at best and-" Pausing as he felt something hit his fingers, he glanced down to see that the cat had pushed his plate closer to him and was now giving him a judging look. He then went back to nudging the plate and didn't stop until Andrew cautiously took a bite of food.
Across from him, Randy started laughing. Brat. "I like this cat already if he can get you to eat your food!" Please. Andrew was never that bad. Usually.
"It's ridiculous." Andrew took another bite even as he fed the little thing another scrap of chicken. He seemed to make sure Andrew was really eating before taking the bite of food himself. It had Andrew remembering something he didn't want to remember. "D… Danny." The cat in his arms went still for some odd reason, but Randy going silent across from him was what had Andrew looking at the table and rambling.
"It's a good name for a cat, don't you think? Danny? It's certainly not a bad name. Nothing like Snuffles or Snowball or Coal or anything stupid like that. It could be a good name. Okay, so-"
"Danny sounds like a great name, Andy." Glancing up to see his brother's smile, Andrew gave a weak little one back as he fed… As he fed Danny another scrap of chicken. Poor thing was still looking exhausted if he was near limp in his arms now.
"I suppose I'm still not ready to let it all go, am I?" Five years. It had been five years and yet still- Well. Maybe it would be nice to think of someone else when he heard that name. He wasn't sure how effective that would be, though. Black hair and bright blue eyes.
Sighing softly to himself, Andrew bowed his head. He really had been doomed from the start in all of this.
::
"Randy? Can you come here?" Feeling more than seeing his brother rush over, Andrew carefully continued to peel Danny out of the towel around him - the towel that was no longer white. "Is he bleeding?"
"Fuck, you sure know how to pick them if he is." Randy was inspecting Danny at once, the poor thing too tired to do much more than make a pathetic growling noise. "He definitely was. Most of it is scabbing over, but those are some nasty wounds… You have tomorrow off?"
"Wha- Oh, yes." Taking a moment to make sure it was indeed Tuesday tomorrow, Andrew gave a nod. "Yes, I have it off."
"Bring him by around eleven or so, okay?" That bad, then. "For tonight just keep him from moving too much, don't let him jump or run around, and make sure he gets plenty of water. No water or food after midnight, though, okay? I don't know how much he'll need done tomorrow."
"Got it." Andrew tucked the towel back around Danny, shifting him in his arms so he was more comfortable. "Can you pay for the towel, too?"
"You're something else." What was that supposed to mean! "Yes, Andy, I'll pay for the towel, too. Now go home, will you? You're making me near cry just looking at you."
"Mother and I could say the same about you," Andrew sniffed, turning on his heel and choosing to take Danny's strange noise as a laugh. "Danny agrees with me, too!"
"Doesn't he always?" Heh. Guess he wasn't the only one who couldn't leave it all behind. "Go cuddle up with a book, nerd."
"Try not to wind up in jail again!" Poking his head out of the cafe, Andrew sighed in relief as he saw the rain had finally stopped. "See? Our bad luck isn't so bad." Looking around, Andrew jumped as he felt the pricking of teeth against his hand that hand the bandage on it. Danny wasn't biting, but he was certainly getting his attention. "What? Are you bleeding again? Am I?"
After a few moments of nothing else happening, and not seeing any blood, Andrew looked back up to start off towards home before he felt the 'bite' again. "I can't read minds, you-" Ah. "You're reminding me to get my medicine." The teeth left him and Danny gave a soft purr. "Well, you at least can earn your keep, I suppose."
It was probably coincidence, but… It was nice to think that someone else was helping him remember the important things. "Right. First my medicine, and then we can go home." Maybe his luck really wasn't so bad.
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huntypastellance · 7 years
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You might not answer seriously, but what's your actual stance on any of the ships?
Serious answer:
They’re okay. There’s just not a lot of them & they usually serve as background for Klance or for “eventual” Klance.
We’re okay with Klance, though! It’s just oversaturated & masticating itself at this point.
The art looks the same.
The fics read the same.
It’s the same 3 AUs over & over again. (Altean/Mermaid/College)
Say what you want about shitty yaoi fics from the early 2000s, but at least even the worst of them were fun to read just because of how bad they were & how many different ways they could be absolute garbage.
The worst Klance fics are just boring because of the heavyhanded attempts at being “progressive”. It is the SAME garbage mistakes being repeated.
The characters do not constantly mention their ethnicities, gender or sexuality in canon. People don’t do that irl either unless you’re writing a 90s sitcom starring a gay character or if you’ve never met a nonwhite person irl.
There is either no drama or it gets resolved far too quickly. (And usually, it is Keith who ends up being the “bad guy” in the scenario. This could be interesting if handled properly, but far too often, it comes off as Lance being emotionally abusive towards Keith & the “reconciliation” ends up feeling all off as a result.)
We enjoy the potential of ALL ships, but we firmly insist that Hunk does not get NTRed solely because “Allura needs a lesbian gf because Shallura is now grody & there aren’t a lot of girl characters & Pidge doesn’t count as an icky GUUUUURRRLLLL so I guess we’ll just give her Shay then!”.
Overall:
Klance: too much, fancontent too boring, disappointing waste of potential & character development in favor of memes/quick gratification, fanbase encourages lack of creativity, frequently skips over any relationship development & slow burn for immediate lovey dovey-ness
Sheith: reminds us of our first OTP, bromance/senpai notice me, diverse content but has reached peak content exhaustion (until season 3 hits?), garrison stuff can only be re-hashed so many times before it gets dull, & it’s getting dull
Shallura: sounds good in theory, same problem as Klance, disappointing lack of shapeshifting
Kallura: will probably be canon since previous iterations had it canon or implied in canon, seems okay, nice art, more interesting now with the whole “part Galra” thing but the writers really rushed that whole subplot
Pallura: that art the staff drew was hella cute, teen girls trying to bond with girl/geek talk, tall girl + short girl
Shiro/everyone else: they need to spoil/heal this panda man, he has white hairs & is tired
Pidge/everyone else: the snarky tomboyish gamer girl girlfriend except she doesn’t give a fuck
Coran/everyone else: fucking hilarious, more please
Allurance: needs a lot of development to work, but has cute potential
Hance: best buds just being best boyfriends together
Hunk/everyone else: more geek talk, less food talk, development could easily be smooth sailing or rocky because Hunk is not perfect which makes him interesting!
Lance/everyone else: needs development to work properly, please less “Character B worships Lance for being so great” unless it’s like a praise kink porn fic or something idk
Members of the Galra Empire/everyone else: great darkfics & has some of the most interesting (& worst!) smut in the fandom
Members of the Blade of Marmora/everyone else: why is this so goddamn fluffy, it should be illegal to be this cute -sulks-
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authenticaussie · 7 years
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“okay i get it you’re a great thief and don’t want to go to jail but i’m the exhausted af detective that’s assigned to catch you i stg if you let me bring you in so i can sleep i’ll get you a good deal” au (James/Bastet :p)
Commissions! || Ko-fi!
Okay so like First of All no WAY would Bastet e v e r agree to that, she is Miss where's waldo / catch me if you can extraordinare but she takes a look at James' sleepless eyes and the wavering grip he has on his gun and sighs and flicks her wrist and goes "how about I give you a deal,"
"I'm??? the one holding a gun???" James goes, and Bastet snorts at him and goes "yeah but I'm basically bullproof and you're exhausted and are probably going to miss me and besides man do you really want to do all of the paperwork shooting at me will require and James looks like he's wilting at the thought and Bastet smirks even more, knowing she has him backed into a corner.
She coughs politely and looks pointedly at his gun and he sighs and puts it away and she just grins and bounces a bit on the balls of her feet and goes, "Okay so like I saw this in a show and it looks awesome and I mean honestly thieving's been kind of boring lately because everyone's so far from catching me, (James, crying in the corner, tries not to look like someone's punched him because he thought he was getting close) so !! I'm going to give you hints and clues to my next thievery
Oh btw what's your phone number
"I- what??" goes James, literally about two seconds from rattling it off tiredly before common sense stops him
"So I can send you the notes?? duh???"
(well I mean I could track her via the phone??? James thinks, forgetting that that Literally Hasn't Worked any other time but at this point basically desperate)
Slides his phone across to her because he literally Cannot at this moment in time, he's too exhausted for this shit,,,,,
Basically backflips off the roof and blows James a kiss and HE basically just wants to lie down and maybe not move for like??? a week??? maybe two, that sounds Super Good
He gets his phone back and for a week he doesn't hear from her and works overtime and tries to figure out what her plan is and what he's supposed to do and how to get through knowing s H E HAS HIS PHONE NUMBER??? WHAT WAS WRONG WITH SLEEP DEPRIVED HIM???
The phone number is enlisted under someone who doesn't even exist and James wants to scream
She put herself into his phone as "The Best [cat emoji]" and he doesn't find out until she texts him with this string of love heart emojis and a riddle with so many puns and look okay he was usually level headed but he swears to GOD he's going to ACTUALLY SHOOT HER
Or at least be a lil bit more brutal than is really called for when he arrests her because she's SUCH AN ASSHOLE OH GOD
James + the taskforce Bastet has figures out her stupid punny riddle and race off to where she's planning to steal her next artifact and she's laughing like crazy as they all chase her and James is like oh my GOD you're CRAZY and you literally just want us to chase you don't you???
She does a backflip and blows him a kiss and basically James wants to die
His partners rib him about it but also....aren't super pleased with him. Because he technically let her escape and look they're all tired too, and exasperated by this crazy lady who does whatever she wants???
Bastet texts after the heist and is like "awww, soz beau, better luck next time" and James is like "why do you text like a pre-pubescent girl I hate you"
(Bastet, holding her phone, bursts out laughing because she thinks this is hysterical and James is really fun to annoy)
James + Bastet + Texting = Nerds
James is SO PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE ABOUT WANTING TO ARREST HER???? IF SHE COMPLAINS ABOUT ANYTHING (eg. weather) HE'S LIKE "HEY YOU WANNA KNOW A NICE CLIMATE CONTROLLED SPACE THAT'S ALL FOR YOU?? JAIL."
Bastet is Sarcastic AF and loves teasing James w/ hints to how she steals things and information about herself but she's super clever and doesn't drop anything she doesn't mean to
She mentions loving Egypt and James stares at his phone and then is hit by realisation and rolls over and tries to suffocate himself with a pillow he's in agony, of fucking course, how could they not pick up on this before???/
And he texts his team and he's like dude she only steals egyptian things and they're like
DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY EGYPTIAN THINGS THERE ARE IN THE WORLD JAMES THAT DOESN'T ACTUALLY HELP
James who keeps getting pushed out of the group bc of his involvement w/ Bastet but she'll only talk to him and seems to know when someone else does it, and that just leads him to being more involved with Bastet and one day he complains explicitly and she just goes "want to know some place that isn't lonely??? By my side" and James is like WHAT THE HELL DID A THIEF JUST FLIRT WITH ME
all he manages to text back is "FRATRINISATION"
"I think that only applies if we work together?? Tho i mean we do work together in that i keep you in a job"
"no you dont??????????? i have literally three thousand other things i could do ????? I could help cats out of trees??? Help old ladies cross the street?????????????????????? LITERALLY ANYTHING???"
"Ah, but you LIKE chasing me. It's EXCITING"
"NO I DONT I HAVENT SLEPT PROPERLY IN WEEKS"
"Come sleep in my arms ;3"
"WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME"
"Because it's hilarious??? omfg????"
James spends months being flirted with and sent selfies of Bastet posing with valuable objects before she steals them with captions like 'im stealing this...like you stole my heart ;3" and "dont open this one at work babe you'll get in trouble ;333"
James Officially hates the ";3" emoji. Like. Every time anyone uses it now he LITERALLY is like do NOT
James is Dying (tm)
He starts sleeping a bit better tho. Bastet always warns them before heists now and he's still trying everything he can to find her but at the same time it's been months??? she obviously has an informant or someone who helps her escape that he has to find and it drives him c r a z y???
Oh ye of little faith
He catches her turning into a cat after a year and basically faints and wakes up in an apartment he doesn't recognise and sighs at him and is like "if you yell about kidnapping i swear to god I will give you a concussion"
"UM BUT YOU DID THO??"
"uh no??????????? you can leave whenever?????"
James Does Not leave whenever, James sits on the chair at stares at her and eventually goes "hahaha lol okay sure. Question tho Im not crazy right. Like. Bc i thought i saw you turn into a cat hahahaha hAHHA"
-Bastet, literally shapeshifting into a cat right in front of him-
James, laughing hysterically and going Super Green and almost passing out yet again (This poor boy is Suffering (tm)) but manages to stay awake and breathes out super slowly and looks at her and she looks back at him and he basically says "explain" and she turns back into a human and kind of (super badly) does and James ends up staying all day and talking to her and not  even realising where all the time has gone....
by the end of it he has more of an understanding of Bastet, and she's thrown like, three bangles at him accidentally and put shit on him bc she got restless while talking and he walks out of her place to catch her escaping over the rooftops and covered in jewelry this is Not how he expected this day to go
Bastet texts him when he gets home and is like "i want those back you know" and James is like
"Well looks like you'll have to steal them off me ;3″
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