so in an attempt to actually use positive thinking, anytime i fuck up and my brain reacts as if ive cause a minor apocalyptic event, i compare my fuck up to the 4 minute fuck up committed by the crew of the uss william d porter.
and only today, as i was having to explain what happened to my mom when i was explaining the whole comparison thing, did i realise that most people dont know about it and ive decided that needs to change because its objectively hilarious.
...which is a weird thing to say about an event that occured on a warship in 1943, specifically november 14th.
see the uss william d porter was a fletcher-class destroyer but you dont need to know what that means, just that she had guns that went bang bang and that she was escorting another ship, the uss iowa, to cairo.
while they were on their way there, they performed some gun trials like testing the anti-aircraft guns or the torpedos. and while they were running a torpedo drill, the crew of the porter managed to fire a live torpedo straight at the iowa which you know, in terms of a list of things to do while escorting a ship, shooting a torpedo at them is not on that list.
especially if the president of the united states is on board.
yeah so fdr was on board and the gun trials were actually his idea, and part of the trials was that they were conducted under radio silence.
and that means the crew of the porter couldnt just call the iowa to be like "move out the way, we accidentally shot a torpedo at you."
but they did have signal lamps and you know, the signalman on board was trained to signal this exact kind of message.
...and uh never mind, the signalman did manage to successfully tell the iowa that a torpedo was coming toward them but wasnt as successful when it came to the direction the torpedo was coming from.
not all hope is lost though because the signalman could still use the signal lamp to correct his previous mistake and-, never mind, he announced that the porter was reversing, which she wasnt.
yeah so at catastrophic mistake number 3, they broke radio silence to warn the iowa and she managed to turn out of the way just in time which meant no one got hurt. and even though the inquiry into the incident led to chief torpedoman (fantastic job title btw) lawton dawson being sentences to hard labour, fdr intervened and waved away his sentence, saying it was all an accident.
but yeah, so thats my new measure for "how much did i really fuck up?" and when i compared accidentally picking up a pencil case without a tag on it in wilko, turns out it was a very minor fuck-up. yes, the cashier had to ask another worker to grab a duplicate so they could scan the barcode, but i didnt nearly kill the president during wartime via accidental friendly fire
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love when men cry about body hair bc "it's hygiene" and yet 15% of cis men leave the bathroom without washing their hands at all and an additional 35% only just wet their hands without using soap. that is nearly half of all men. that means statistically you have probably shaken hands with or been in direct contact with one of these people.
love when men say that women "only want money" when it turns out that even in equal-earning homes, women are actually adding caregiver burdens and housework from previous years, whereas men have been expanding leisure time and hobbies. in equal-earning households, men spend an average of 3.5 hours extra in leisure time per week, which is 182 hours per year - a little over a week of paid vacation time that the other partner does not receive. kinda sounds like he wants her money.
love that men have decided women are frail and weak and annoying when we scream in surprise but it turns out it's actually women who are more reliable in an emergency because men need to be convinced to actually take action and respond to the threat. like, actually, for-real: men experience such a strong sense of pride about their pre-supposed abilities that it gets them and their families killed. they are so used to dismissing women that it literally kills them.
love it. told my father this and he said there's lies, damned lies, and statistics. a year ago i tried to get him to evacuate the house during a flash flood. he ignored me and got injured. he has told me, laughing, that he never washes his hands. he has said in the last week that women are just happier when we're cooking or cleaning.
maybe i'm overly nostalgic. but it didn't used to feel so fucking bleak. it used to feel like at least a little shameful to consider women to be sheep. it just feels like the earth is round and we are still having conversations about it being flat - except these conversations are about the most obvious forms of patriarchy. like, we know about this stuff. we've known since well before the 50's.
recently andrew tate tried to justify cheating on his partner as being the "male prerogative." i don't know what the prerogative for the rest of us would be. just sitting at home, watching the slow erosion of our humanity.
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never change, man !
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and who made me that way?
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@the-one-who-lambs
C & K FANART BOOYAH!
chapter 25:
SHAMURA FINDING THE OLD KEEPSAKES (also without shadow so u can see the little drawings better lol) BUT RAAAAAAA! IM REALLY PROUD OF THIS ONEEEE
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majima wip
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"Baldur's Gate has widely adopted a "do no harm" policy when it comes to [evil] faiths and organizations operating in the city. Any group is welcome to operate openly so long as the city's important citizens aren't harmed."
Every time I think this city cannot get worse it gives me information to make me start silently screaming in horror/laughing hysterically into my hands again.
"Important citizens."
Usually the rule is "no harm to citizens." Meanwhile, the fact that there's a distinction for "important" kind of carries the implication that apparently the Gate has decided this: You can openly be a Bhaalist or Banite in public, just don't stab any patriars; priests of Tymora, Gond or Umberlee; visiting merchant and dignitaries or wealthy people (we want their money) or annoy the Flaming Fist too much.
Feel free to turn that dockworker into a pincushion though!
I mean, Gortash is blatantly wearing Bane's holy symbol on his arm... Also the Guild spies recognising the local Bhaalist leader on sight, which I personally interpret as Durge wearing the robes and veil in public rather than showing their face but you never know...
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the fact that pib's story and character doesn't lean into the horror/tragedy side of things as the other neverafter PCs do is part of why i find him so interesting
the motives and stakes that pib faces as an individual are never really as pressing/high as those that the others in the group face. marienne is already destroyed and tomas is already dead, which pib cannot and does not seek to undo (he wants revenge on the giants later on, but he only seeks it when going to snowhold & the land of giants becomes something they have to do anyways. and his starting priority isn't revenge - he's more or less just trying to get by after the fall of marienne), unlike the others, who are either in the throes of their tragedies, or actively attempting to undo what has already come to pass, or, mostly, a mix of both.
there's also the fact that pib isn't a "character" in the way the others are, but rather the archetype of the trickster cat. as both a trickster spirit and an archetype, he already holds a little more agency than the others because he's not bound to being "pib". he does grow an attachment to the identity of pib in a way that doesn't seem typical of the tricksters (the fox says that he's "gotten too caught up in it" when he returns to the trickster forest with no memories of who they are), but, ultimately, if something happens to the story of puss in boots, he's still the cat. he knows there's more for him than just pib, that, although he's still subject to the whims of the authors, he's not bound to one destiny in the same way his friends are.
in any case, whether we're talking about pib or the cat, he doesn't need to fight in the way his friends do. he doesn't need to care the way he does, or maybe even shouldn't care in the way that he does (the fox overall seems to suggest that pib is softer compared to the other tricksters; "it was a mistake to send him", "you're more the hero than you think", etc, and almost seems to look down on him for it) but he does anyways. he fights and tricks for the sake of his friends, for the sake of tomas, for the sake of the neverafter. and he does it because he chooses to. he's a trickster, who we might expect to act in a self-serving way, but he chooses to be, for the most part, selfless. he has a little more agency than the others and, instead of taking it and running, he uses it to help, to choose to be good, because he cares about the people around him. he's a little asshole with a heart goddamnit
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Eepy family ❤️💙🧡
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wow look at these 2 random human men. i wonder if this moment will be paralleled in their afterlives
~i dont support vivziepop or her shows + this art/redesign is from my rewrite~
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Finally made an introduction post! Took me a while but I got there!
HELLO! NAMES PAPER-HEARTZ!! Nice to meet you all!
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> FERDINAND II.
And so your PLANT shall henceforth be known as FERDINAND II.
The thought of needing to inform FERDINAND I of his having a namesake makes you a bit ill, but you are already hard at work devising several plausible excuses for the gesture. Something about how you've named it after the one most invested in its naming, or how it is similarly prone to drooling. Yes. Yes, you will be able to deflect quite easily, should the need arise. It has nothing to do with your fondness for FERDINAND or your desire for a substitute in his imminent absence, no—again, you are not so prone to sentimentality. It's about the drool.
Well, anyway. Best to move on with your day and think about something else, lest you grow maudlin or cultivate further affection for the PLANT. May the GODDESS be merciful and never cause you to develop inclinations that could be described as paternal.
Now that your plant has received sufficient care, it is time for COFFEE. You set to making your morning brew. By CHANCE, there happens to be sufficient water remaining in the kettle for FERDINAND I to have TEA, should he wish it.
Per your TIMEPIECE, it is now a quarter to eight. You have made excellent progress on your PRE-BREAKFAST TO-DO LIST thus far: the only remaining task is to remove FERDINAND. You are starting to get rather peckish and would like to be rid of him quickly, but over the past week, you have found that extracting the man from YOUR QUARTERS is a more arduous task than it ought to be.
#007 | << | <- | -> | JOURNAL | HOW TO PLAY | ALL POSTS
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one of Thee funniest tv tropes is "group of people (better if they're not friends) wake up in the same area after being blackout drunk, with it being Wildly obvious that some crazy shit went down & they have to puzzle it out / fix their mess without anyone knowing"
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"It's three seasons old, at least," said Phillip, in a pained voice. "What sort of provincial backwater did you buy it in?"
"The Little Dover Dress Shop." Visander bit out each word, fuming that he knew the answer.
"It still has an empire waist," said Phillip, a kind of agony on his face. "You know, here we have fashion, we don't just go about wearing robes for ten thousand years."
"I care nothing for your human fashions, worm," spat Visander.
Dark Heir by CS Pacat is a comedy. Or, in other words: if book 3 is not a married-life sit-com between Phillip and Visander I riot.
(In other, other words: there are so many fantastic romantic dynamics in this book, but the one couple I have imprinted on like a baby duckling is the queer murder-machine with tunnel vision stuck in the body of a Victorian ingénue and his husband Who Really Does Not Want To Be Here and can endure his wife being "a dead man from a defunct world" but draws the line at him not dressing for dinner.)
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even Atlas has only two hands
vent art
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