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so in an attempt to actually use positive thinking, anytime i fuck up and my brain reacts as if ive cause a minor apocalyptic event, i compare my fuck up to the 4 minute fuck up committed by the crew of the uss william d porter.
and only today, as i was having to explain what happened to my mom when i was explaining the whole comparison thing, did i realise that most people dont know about it and ive decided that needs to change because its objectively hilarious.
...which is a weird thing to say about an event that occured on a warship in 1943, specifically november 14th.
see the uss william d porter was a fletcher-class destroyer but you dont need to know what that means, just that she had guns that went bang bang and that she was escorting another ship, the uss iowa, to cairo.
while they were on their way there, they performed some gun trials like testing the anti-aircraft guns or the torpedos. and while they were running a torpedo drill, the crew of the porter managed to fire a live torpedo straight at the iowa which you know, in terms of a list of things to do while escorting a ship, shooting a torpedo at them is not on that list.
especially if the president of the united states is on board.
yeah so fdr was on board and the gun trials were actually his idea, and part of the trials was that they were conducted under radio silence.
and that means the crew of the porter couldnt just call the iowa to be like "move out the way, we accidentally shot a torpedo at you."
but they did have signal lamps and you know, the signalman on board was trained to signal this exact kind of message.
...and uh never mind, the signalman did manage to successfully tell the iowa that a torpedo was coming toward them but wasnt as successful when it came to the direction the torpedo was coming from.
not all hope is lost though because the signalman could still use the signal lamp to correct his previous mistake and-, never mind, he announced that the porter was reversing, which she wasnt.
yeah so at catastrophic mistake number 3, they broke radio silence to warn the iowa and she managed to turn out of the way just in time which meant no one got hurt. and even though the inquiry into the incident led to chief torpedoman (fantastic job title btw) lawton dawson being sentences to hard labour, fdr intervened and waved away his sentence, saying it was all an accident.
but yeah, so thats my new measure for "how much did i really fuck up?" and when i compared accidentally picking up a pencil case without a tag on it in wilko, turns out it was a very minor fuck-up. yes, the cashier had to ask another worker to grab a duplicate so they could scan the barcode, but i didnt nearly kill the president during wartime via accidental friendly fire
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comfikarehomecaremd · 10 months
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inkskinned · 8 months
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love when men cry about body hair bc "it's hygiene" and yet 15% of cis men leave the bathroom without washing their hands at all and an additional 35% only just wet their hands without using soap. that is nearly half of all men. that means statistically you have probably shaken hands with or been in direct contact with one of these people.
love when men say that women "only want money" when it turns out that even in equal-earning homes, women are actually adding caregiver burdens and housework from previous years, whereas men have been expanding leisure time and hobbies. in equal-earning households, men spend an average of 3.5 hours extra in leisure time per week, which is 182 hours per year - a little over a week of paid vacation time that the other partner does not receive. kinda sounds like he wants her money.
love that men have decided women are frail and weak and annoying when we scream in surprise but it turns out it's actually women who are more reliable in an emergency because men need to be convinced to actually take action and respond to the threat. like, actually, for-real: men experience such a strong sense of pride about their pre-supposed abilities that it gets them and their families killed. they are so used to dismissing women that it literally kills them.
love it. told my father this and he said there's lies, damned lies, and statistics. a year ago i tried to get him to evacuate the house during a flash flood. he ignored me and got injured. he has told me, laughing, that he never washes his hands. he has said in the last week that women are just happier when we're cooking or cleaning.
maybe i'm overly nostalgic. but it didn't used to feel so fucking bleak. it used to feel like at least a little shameful to consider women to be sheep. it just feels like the earth is round and we are still having conversations about it being flat - except these conversations are about the most obvious forms of patriarchy. like, we know about this stuff. we've known since well before the 50's.
recently andrew tate tried to justify cheating on his partner as being the "male prerogative." i don't know what the prerogative for the rest of us would be. just sitting at home, watching the slow erosion of our humanity.
#writeblr#warm up#ps edited so it is more clear where “half” of men is coming from:#15% literally don't even touch water#an ADDITIONAL 35% ''wash'' by just running their hands under water WITHOUT SOAP#15+35 =50%#like that is not washing ur hands. go back and use soap#btw the numbers for women are 4% never washing and 15% ''just water''#which is still gross but like. sooo much better yikes#ps i know we're all gay on this site but watching ppl ''correct'' my math on this has been wild#i have a learning disability im genuinely bad at math so i check EVERY time someone corrects me#but no they're just confidently wrong.....#182 hours is a week babes. 182/24 (number of hours in a day) is ~7.6#that's where i got that number from. also from rent we know there's 168 hours in a week.#ALSO btw if u read this and ur response is ''men are also struggling rn tho'' like babe you missed the point of it tho#this doesn't even make fun of men it's legit just pointing out that bigotry against women isn't founded#in anything men actually CARE about . like they don't actually CARE about ''being clean'' when they make fun of armpit hair#or they would be WASHING THEIR HANDS.#men pretend to be rollin' in cash and Apex Predators and instead they are trained to be lazy and unwilling to act in emergencies#i have never and will never make fun of men for asking for more support on important topics like DV and mental health.#this is so clearly not about men; it's about how common just being plainly misogynistic has become.#like they don't try to hide it anymore.
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never change, man !
#phantom of the paradise#potp#swan potp#nightmaretheater#65 layers and about 24 hours . Eeeyyuppp#Look into my beautiful mind boy#Its a bit unusual to what i usually draw#but i had to push a specific look for this piece#hopefully you all are picking up on the corperate look . the advertisment look#Sneeze. Anyways my point is industry destroys creative people. This includes swan#I feel like phrases like these ; how he was put on a pedistal…. it lead him to be Like That#as awful as he is he desperately needed help#it might seem like vanity on the surface#but i think its… more than that#long story short: we need to destroy the beauty industry. the skincare industry. the anti-aging industry#It ruined his psyche forever and he cant let go of the ideal version of himself he will never truly be again#i dont think he can at this point. hes in too deep and hes suffering for it no matter how much he feels hes fixed his problems#he cant accept a version of himself that isnt that perfect young man. because he never confronted his problems. he just ran away#anyways . Hi swath *punches him**kicks him*#i dont care if nobody gets me lalalalla my truths and headcanons are awesome forever and i live in my own reality lallaallal#sorry i think im gonna be posting about swan alot for a few months hes making me sick#i wass gonna post this earlier but my internet was real bad#*lays down in my pile of pillows* eat up boys. haha#sidenote: drawing white blond people is horrifiying. Boy your skin and hair are the same color. Introduce some contrast to yourself. Please#adding on: its inportant to note this focuses on him looking st himself in the mirror alot on purpouse#to remind himself what he ‘’’’really’’’’ looks like#the 4 middle pannels all represent that too . u have to be in my brain ri get this#sorry for unleashijg another swan essay in my tags. will happen again lol
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katsugenki · 6 months
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and who made me that way?
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@the-one-who-lambs
C & K FANART BOOYAH!
chapter 25:
SHAMURA FINDING THE OLD KEEPSAKES (also without shadow so u can see the little drawings better lol) BUT RAAAAAAA! IM REALLY PROUD OF THIS ONEEEE
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thenamesr1 · 5 months
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majima wip
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y-rhywbeth2 · 1 month
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"Baldur's Gate has widely adopted a "do no harm" policy when it comes to [evil] faiths and organizations operating in the city. Any group is welcome to operate openly so long as the city's important citizens aren't harmed."
Every time I think this city cannot get worse it gives me information to make me start silently screaming in horror/laughing hysterically into my hands again.
"Important citizens."
Usually the rule is "no harm to citizens." Meanwhile, the fact that there's a distinction for "important" kind of carries the implication that apparently the Gate has decided this: You can openly be a Bhaalist or Banite in public, just don't stab any patriars; priests of Tymora, Gond or Umberlee; visiting merchant and dignitaries or wealthy people (we want their money) or annoy the Flaming Fist too much. Feel free to turn that dockworker into a pincushion though!
I mean, Gortash is blatantly wearing Bane's holy symbol on his arm... Also the Guild spies recognising the local Bhaalist leader on sight, which I personally interpret as Durge wearing the robes and veil in public rather than showing their face but you never know...
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scalpho · 11 months
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the fact that pib's story and character doesn't lean into the horror/tragedy side of things as the other neverafter PCs do is part of why i find him so interesting
the motives and stakes that pib faces as an individual are never really as pressing/high as those that the others in the group face. marienne is already destroyed and tomas is already dead, which pib cannot and does not seek to undo (he wants revenge on the giants later on, but he only seeks it when going to snowhold & the land of giants becomes something they have to do anyways. and his starting priority isn't revenge - he's more or less just trying to get by after the fall of marienne), unlike the others, who are either in the throes of their tragedies, or actively attempting to undo what has already come to pass, or, mostly, a mix of both.
there's also the fact that pib isn't a "character" in the way the others are, but rather the archetype of the trickster cat. as both a trickster spirit and an archetype, he already holds a little more agency than the others because he's not bound to being "pib". he does grow an attachment to the identity of pib in a way that doesn't seem typical of the tricksters (the fox says that he's "gotten too caught up in it" when he returns to the trickster forest with no memories of who they are), but, ultimately, if something happens to the story of puss in boots, he's still the cat. he knows there's more for him than just pib, that, although he's still subject to the whims of the authors, he's not bound to one destiny in the same way his friends are.
in any case, whether we're talking about pib or the cat, he doesn't need to fight in the way his friends do. he doesn't need to care the way he does, or maybe even shouldn't care in the way that he does (the fox overall seems to suggest that pib is softer compared to the other tricksters; "it was a mistake to send him", "you're more the hero than you think", etc, and almost seems to look down on him for it) but he does anyways. he fights and tricks for the sake of his friends, for the sake of tomas, for the sake of the neverafter. and he does it because he chooses to. he's a trickster, who we might expect to act in a self-serving way, but he chooses to be, for the most part, selfless. he has a little more agency than the others and, instead of taking it and running, he uses it to help, to choose to be good, because he cares about the people around him. he's a little asshole with a heart goddamnit
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zsbrainrot · 9 months
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Eepy family ❤️💙🧡
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cloudysarts · 3 months
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wow look at these 2 random human men. i wonder if this moment will be paralleled in their afterlives
~i dont support vivziepop or her shows + this art/redesign is from my rewrite~
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paper-starz · 4 months
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Finally made an introduction post! Took me a while but I got there!
HELLO! NAMES PAPER-HEARTZ!! Nice to meet you all!
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stergeon · 1 month
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> FERDINAND II.
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And so your PLANT shall henceforth be known as FERDINAND II.
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The thought of needing to inform FERDINAND I of his having a namesake makes you a bit ill, but you are already hard at work devising several plausible excuses for the gesture. Something about how you've named it after the one most invested in its naming, or how it is similarly prone to drooling. Yes. Yes, you will be able to deflect quite easily, should the need arise. It has nothing to do with your fondness for FERDINAND or your desire for a substitute in his imminent absence, no—again, you are not so prone to sentimentality. It's about the drool.
Well, anyway. Best to move on with your day and think about something else, lest you grow maudlin or cultivate further affection for the PLANT. May the GODDESS be merciful and never cause you to develop inclinations that could be described as paternal.
Now that your plant has received sufficient care, it is time for COFFEE. You set to making your morning brew. By CHANCE, there happens to be sufficient water remaining in the kettle for FERDINAND I to have TEA, should he wish it.
Per your TIMEPIECE, it is now a quarter to eight. You have made excellent progress on your PRE-BREAKFAST TO-DO LIST thus far: the only remaining task is to remove FERDINAND. You are starting to get rather peckish and would like to be rid of him quickly, but over the past week, you have found that extracting the man from YOUR QUARTERS is a more arduous task than it ought to be.
#007 | << | <- | -> | JOURNAL | HOW TO PLAY | ALL POSTS
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one of Thee funniest tv tropes is "group of people (better if they're not friends) wake up in the same area after being blackout drunk, with it being Wildly obvious that some crazy shit went down & they have to puzzle it out / fix their mess without anyone knowing"
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thestoriesthatweweave · 5 months
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"It's three seasons old, at least," said Phillip, in a pained voice. "What sort of provincial backwater did you buy it in?" "The Little Dover Dress Shop." Visander bit out each word, fuming that he knew the answer. "It still has an empire waist," said Phillip, a kind of agony on his face. "You know, here we have fashion, we don't just go about wearing robes for ten thousand years." "I care nothing for your human fashions, worm," spat Visander.
Dark Heir by CS Pacat is a comedy. Or, in other words: if book 3 is not a married-life sit-com between Phillip and Visander I riot.
(In other, other words: there are so many fantastic romantic dynamics in this book, but the one couple I have imprinted on like a baby duckling is the queer murder-machine with tunnel vision stuck in the body of a Victorian ingénue and his husband Who Really Does Not Want To Be Here and can endure his wife being "a dead man from a defunct world" but draws the line at him not dressing for dinner.)
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belligerentbagel · 2 years
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even Atlas has only two hands
vent art
#this one's for all the teachers out there#horror cw#hands cw#draws#after 2.5 years of caution and masking everywhere; i tested positive for covid on wednesday morning (first day of fall semester) 😔#at earliest; i can be back in the classroom on monday#wednesday itself was an absolutely horrible 24 hours (but admittedly the anatomist side of me has been going 'ah! physiological data!')#but thursday and friday were a grim indicator of how much capitalism has rotted my brain#because after getting through 24 hours of a MASSIVE illness with undetermined long-term effects; i felt compelled to return to the#6-hr-sleep 18-hr-waking cycle that i was accustomed to; out of GUILT for falling behind in work#(note: i was NOWHERE near 100% back on thursday. i could have charitably been put at 50% - still headaches & fatigue & productive coughs)#a friend had to very sternly tell me 'you cannot solve structural problems through constant 80-hour-week heroic measures'#'you especially cannot do this when you are recovering from a debilitating illness which has the potential to remain a -#- serious lingering problem if you overwork yourself'#like. gods. yeah. it's not my fault that my classrooms are stuffed to the student maximum that our union has valiantly maintained#it's not my fault that the district only gave us one pre-semester prep day; meaning that my room & plans were left unfinished before day one#and - even bigger; it's not my fault that public health in the US is careening into 'can we pretend hard enough like nothing's happening'#my students will have a milquetoast start this fall semester. that is fine.#their teacher might not be able to stand and talk for longer than ten minutes at a time#i will do what i can. i still care about them. i am reading their introduction emails and smiling a bunch.#but i refuse to allow myself to be consumed in order to keep this fire lit.
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