#...that's a lot. just in case you don't like doing conversions.

[monstersinthecosmos]

Just stating for the record that there's a lot of confusion about what asexuality is and isn't, and whether ace people can participate in sex, and if sex has to be penetrative.

Like not that it's my job to be your sex educator lmao but

Yes asexual people can have sex; this is about a lack of attraction, not a lack of libido or sexual dysfunction.

Of course sex does not have to be penetrative.

Being celibate is not the same as being asexual.

Asexuals can be attracted to people without wanting to fuck them, they can still experience romantic attraction or desire intimacy that is not sex.

If you want to dismantle ace themes/reads in your fandom of choice, please use textual points that are, in fact, truthful about what asexuality is and isn't. A book isn't less queer if the characters don't fuck. Queer people can still experience love and romance without sex. This need to insist that a piece of media isn't ace because it's queer is saying that asexuals aren't queer, and we're not here for exclusionary radfem bullshit okay?

If we're going to preach this in the larger conversation of queer politics when it comes to, for example: trans rights, queer content in children's' libraries, existing in public--we have to be consistent. Don't tell the larger world that every facet of a queer person's life isn't about SEX but then tell ace people that they're not queer because they don't want sex, or dismiss a queer piece of media because the characters didn't fuck. Asexuality is not queer subtext, it is queer text. It is already queer.

If you're thinking about dunking on ace people in your fandom, like, listen! We know that tumblr has a radfem & conservative problem lol so like if you're just a radfem/terf/conservative/whatever I can't stop you, but if you don't associate with those folks and still want to be exlusionary, please check some resources to see if your understanding of asexuality is up to date before you make a bunch of points that don't matter. I really recommend AVEN - The Asexuality Visibility & Education Network and The Trevor Project's page about Asexuality as a starting point!

Just ask, before you post:

Does the asexual read hurt anybody?

Am I invalidating someone's experience by telling them that they're wrong?

Does my point balance strictly on concepts of sex, and not concepts of attraction?

Am I sure I understand what asexuality is before I start dunking on it and being exclusionary to the ace people in my fandom?

Am I regurgitating points about what sex is and isn't without remembering that asexuality is about sexual attraction, and not about whether or not someone participates in sex acts? (ie: "They do have sex, someone got a handjob" isn't really building your case the way you think it is.)

What exactly is the purpose of my post if it's not to be exclusionary and fucking rude? Do I need to examine my own biases towards ace people?

#asexuality #asexual vc #behave lol #we need a side essay about what is a headcanon and what is canon #and what are reads that are supported by text vs what are silly ideas i made up for myself about the blorbo #bc i feel this is getting lost in the conversation maybe #PLEASE BEHAVE

[vaspider]

Hi!

I saw the post about how to filter out terfs from reblogs on here and I had one loosely related question to what was said in the post.

The part about reeducating people who believe that queer is a slur.

What's the metric on that, who's the person you mean by that? Suspected terfs? Anyone who has a problem with it at all?

And what re-education is the case there, is it making the person aware of the connection to the phrase? Or something else?

Thanks!

Gotta admit, the tone of this ask doesn't seem like it's entirely in good faith, but I'm going to treat it like it is, just in case you don't know that this ask kind of comes across like a none-too-subtle accusation.

A lot of younger people don't know that 'queer is a slur' is TERF-sponsored propaganda meant as a tool to help break the community apart. A lot of them, in my experience, are fucking horrified to realize that they were repeating something that got astroTERFed into the community as an attempt to make people declare 'what kind of queer you are' so that people can pick the identities of others apart: oh, you're not a lesbian because transmascs can't be lesbians. oh, you're not X because [thing I made up], etc. It's been my experience that a lot of people who aren't aware that this is something that's been actively pursued, even if they don't like the word applied to themselves, understand what an important historical and identity word it is to our community. It's also been my experience that most of the people saying 'queer is a slur' are doing so in good faith because they are trying to help and protect their community, so when you say 'hey, did you know,' you can have a conversation with them, and if they have personal issues with the word as applied to themselves, if they're acting in good faith towards their community, it's pretty easy to find a way through that respects the identities, tastes, traumas and preferences of everybody involved.

I don't believe I used the word 'reeducating,' because 'reeducation' has some mildly negative brainwashing connotations, to put it mildly. I can't find the original post, though, so I can't verify that. Certainly if I used it, that was an error and I won't again. Educating, teaching, explaining, sure, but reeducation carries some serious 'reeducation camp' vibes.

I don't know what else it would be other than making people aware of the active campaign to make queer an untouchably bad word and having a conversation with them. If we're all coming to these things in good faith, what else would it be? :)

[manikas-whims]

how Xavier from Love and Deepspace will react when he finds out you're on your period..

Xavier realizes its the first time you haven't arrived at work on time. It concerns him deeply and he decides to call you on the phone.

You pick up the phone from the nightstand, receive the call and speak groggily due to the ache in your limbs.

“Xa..vier? What is it?”

On the other end, his eyes narrow in concern. “You don’t sound alright.”

“Ohhh its just..my stomach and thighs ache.. especially thighs..” Your eyes are watery as you speak. All this ache is making it harder for you to even have a simple phone conversation.

“But I'm okay..its just that time of the month, you know!” You attempt to make your best imitation of a chuckle to ensure everything is good.

Yet the line has already been disconnected.

At the workspace, Jenna watches Xavier already pulling on his white leather jacket and running out of the building.

~minutes later~

You hear your phone buzz again. Without even bothering to check the caller ID, you answer it with slight annoyance. “Who’s speaking!?”

The voice on the other end is familiar and calm as ever. Not reacting negatively to your words, Xavier says. “It’s me. I'm here at your place. Do you think you can open the door?”

You know he's only trying to be kind but you grumble anyways. You can't help it. “Xavier I’m not that weak! No girl is!”

You don't bother changing clothes and remain in your oversized shirt as it's more comfortable that way. And with little difficulty and a lot of ache in your body, you open the door to prove your point, staring up at him with your weary eyes.

He simply shuts the door as he walks in and hands you a package. “I bought some pads, and heat packs for your belly. Just in case you needed extra.”

You blink slowly, all the rage ignited by your period slowly fading in the face of his honesty.

“Come on, ” He beckons, heading upstairs towards your bedroom. “Or would you prefer I carry you?”

Mortified at the idea of being treated like a little girl, you stomp after him back to your room.

There, he guides you to lay down and sits at the edge of the bed, by your legs.

“Rest. I’ll be here for you. Always.”

Usually you would've tried teasing him but you don't wanna strain your body by speaking anymore. So you simply give in to the tempting softness of the mattress and close your eyes.

A moment later, you feel something glide along your leg, all the way up to your thigh before gently yet firmly grasping it.

Your face heats up, flushing a light shade of pink as you realize their fingers. The same long fingers which you've seen Xavier wrap around his sword during your missions together.

Now for some reason, those very same fingers are holding your thigh. You feel the muscles in your leg tensing. So does he, and looks at you.

“Xavier you— what are you doing?” You squeak out, a hand over your eyes cause its just too embarrassing to look directly at him.

His hand doesn't even budge. “I’ve heard that during menses, women's thighs ache a lot. I was just trying to give yours’ a massage.”

Then he raises a brow, a lopsided smile curving upon his lips. “What did you think I was up to?”

“Ehhh!!” You shake your head, far more embarrassed now (if that was even possible).

“Nothing! I was just shocked when you suddenly touched me.”

He nods in understanding. “Pardon me for not asking permission before touching you.”

Now you shake your head even more, the aching muscles completely forgotten due to how embarrassed you felt for even daring to imagine something naughty at such a time.

“It's okay.” You mumble softly. “And I’m sorry for getting mad at you.”

He responds with a proper smile.

Then, his fingers begin pressing into your thigh, gently massaging along the entire leg.

“Now rest.” He commands and you close your eyes for there's no reason to deny his aid. You feel the tense muscles in your legs gradually relaxing, his care lulling you into a state of slumber.

And just as you feel sleep blessing your form, you mumble. “Xavier?”

“Mm?” He replies.

“Thanks for this. And for coming to see me.”

“No problem.”

Its been a while since I wrote any Character x Reader HCs so please bear with my errors. i love feedback so don't hesitate!

AND THANK YOU FOR READING ♡

Rafayel and Zayne version coming soon!

=» Love and Deepspace Masterlist «=

#love and deepspace #love and deepspace x reader #xavier x reader #xavier love and deepspace #love and deepspace xavier #xavier x mc #love and deep space imagines #l&ds #l&ds xavier #l&ds x reader #love and deepspace fanfic #love and deepspace fluff #love and deepspace headcanons #xavier l&ds

[queerprayers]

1/2- Sorry if this is a weird ask. You're a person of sincere faith who doesn't judge and I'm desperate for outside opinions. I've recently learned that many modern tarot readers don't believe in divination or spirits, but rather that the images on the cards can help us think about things and bring out deeper ideas from our own subconscious. Zero future telling, only for self reflection. That sounds ok to me, and using the cards for visio divina has done really good things for my prayer life.

2/2- But still I worry- what if the more conservative types are right and all use of the cards is bad? What if it's displeasing to God? I beg and pray but I can't seem to find any peace or inner sense of guidance on the topic. Can you please pray for me, and share any wisdom you might have about this? Thank you so much.

Hello, beloved--I don't think this is weird at all! There's so much fearmongering among Christians about things being Satanic or pagan or whatever else, and it's important to not give into that panic while also taking our faith seriously.

None of the people I know who have been interested in tarot do it as a religious or really even spiritual practice--for most of them, it's been a fun thing, like getting your fortune read at a county fair, and it's not something to "believe in" so much as do and think about. I also know people who, as you said, find it useful for reflection, usually for finding new ways of looking at things. I'm not scared of tarot, and I don't think it's demonic.

Christian history is full of things like opening your Bible to a random page to see what God has in store for you or protecting yourself from evil spirits or saying a certain prayer so that a saint will do something for you. Everyone has these superstitious instincts, to find stories in chance, to not waste the few things that are in our control. I don't think there's inherent evil there--evil comes when we trust these things more than God, when we look in our own actions more than God's, when we think we can know the full story, when we try to pin God down. And I don't think superstition with Christian wrappings is any less superstitious, or any more truthful, to be honest.

A lot of people fearmongering about stuff like this are scared about where it might lead--that you'll end up somewhere chanting around a human sacrifice. And of course there are people who start with harmless religious experiences and end up in evil places--lots of Christians go to a potluck and end up believing in prosperity gospel and putting their kids in conversion therapy. But I don't hear you in danger of abandoning God or of harming anyone. And any religious practice can go too far, no matter how pure its roots. What you bring to the practice makes up most of whether you are reaching out toward God with it, and we can balance it with other traditions and other impulses.

In case someone's using the Bible to scare you: what the Bible tells us about fortune-telling/magic/communing with spirits is from a very specific Ancient Israelite perspective that I'm not qualified to unpack, but we don't find it an applicable worldview today. We have different ideas of how to live in community with other religions, and religious practices serve very different functions. We don't follow Ancient Israelite cultic practices--nor do modern Jewish people, for that matter. Christian practice has developed in the past two millennia in so many directions, and barely any of it would be recognizable to the Biblical authors. I obviously trust that God gave us these writings for a reason, and am not saying to ignore them--we can find useful ideas, but not a rule book.

The tarot deck most people know was created in 1909 by an occult secret society, who used symbols from Christianity and astrology. I think it's misguided to find truth in them as they exist, but neither do I think they're inherently evil--they're archetypes, stories. They're just human. I find occult secret societies generally more silly than demonic--although there is lots of racism/cultural appropriation in their histories. I respect those who avoid tarot based on its origins, just as I respect those who won't do yoga because it's a Hindu practice. But so many things come from non-Christian origins, and we cannot throw away the world if we want to live in community with it. (Yes, we are called to be set apart from the world as Christians, but also to love it--there is the line we must walk.)

There is real Biblical precedent for avoiding a practice associated with things outside of your faith--ancient Israelite religion was very concerned with these associations. Paul did not think meat that had originally been offered to pagan gods was sinful to eat, but basically advised people not to eat it because of how it would affect others or perhaps normalize idol worship. These are things we're continually navigating, and in any Christian community you're gonna have to be clear where your faith lies and probably answer some questions. I think it's a good thing that we're called to be purposeful, and to be aware how our actions affect others.

So my general advice would be to really think about it, to do it all purposefully, paying attention to how it affects your life, relationships, and practice, and whether it's bringing you to the life you know God wants from you (one of love). But this sounds like what you're already doing! I think you care more about this than most people I know, and you're coming to God genuinely--these are gifts.

Prayer is sensory, story-filled, interactive. It's a way of moving through the world. You say this has done good things for your prayer life, and I believe you. Contemplation is a major Christian prayer tradition. Anything can give us a new perspective, anything can shove us toward the truth. You're not causing harm, and neither are you abandoning your faith. There are other people navigating the same things as you--Contemplative Tarot is a book by a Catholic tarot practitioner, and it looks really interesting. I know people who have made their own tarot cards, and I wonder what that would look like with more intentional Christian symbolism/stories, even saints. Sometimes I pick a random prayer card to say--this is coincidence, and while it's not something I'm depending on, it does affect how my day goes.

Don't fall for anything or anyone that claims to know the ultimate truth, don't fall for the people who say that tarot has ancient Egyptian/kabbalah roots, don't fall for people who are just selling you things, don't believe anyone who tells you the truth is inside you if they aren't making clear that it's God that's living there, don't base your entire religious practice on something like this. But don't throw away a way of looking at things if God has led you through it. Don't put your life in the hands of cards, but move through your life with stories and new perspectives and contemplation. God's mercies are new every morning.

I don't know if I've given you peace--maybe just more questions. The good news is, you don't have to figure it all out now, and the bad news is you'll never figure it all out. Religious practice is a continuous dialogue and negotiation with the world. I have faith in you, and in the ways God is moving in your life. Bring Jesus with you, wherever you end up--he'll come regardless, of course, but see it happening. A man with a sword or a cup doesn't know your future, nor is he doing anything--but you know that. You're seeing more of the story, you're contemplating the wonders of God, you know the swords and cups that matter, and they are present with you, and seeing them everywhere is a gift.

Something my mother says before I start anything new, or go anywhere important--what she said when I went to the psych ward, and on the first days of school, and when I go to a protest--is "remember your baptism." I think my grandfather said it to her, too. I don't know whether you've been formally baptized, but remember your calling. Remember the beginning of your journey, and why you're still on it, and how you're being a representative of it. Remember your baptism, whatever that means to you. We have been marked with the cross of Christ forever.

<3 Johanna

#asks

[yuri-is-online]

... so what do we know about the Clash? (pt. 2)

moving right along from part 1

WARNING: THIS POST CONTAINS SPOILERS THROUGH EPISODE 5: HOTARUBI. PLEASE INTERACT WITH DUE CAUTION.

The Laurel Crown is first referenced by Ritsu in Episode 4. It is an award given to the best performing house of the year at an event called the Darkwick Gala. Kaito says it is held one week before graduation, Ritsu says there are a lot of rewards given out to graduating winners. He also very specifically says that it is "the shortest path to success and independence from Darkwick for us ghouls." That word independence strikes me as important, though it is not followed up on here or elsewhere unless you count the discussion surrounding Article 78 in Episode 5. Ritsu thinks that Taiga was interested in it once upon a time due to his impressive mission completion record in his first year. We know Zenji wanted to win the crown to obtain recognition as an author, while most of the other ghouls we've met show a degree of disinterest or lack of knowledge of it. Ren mentions at the end of this conversation that he didn't know about the Gala, and Ritsu points out that despite being canceled it was never removed from last years schedule. It is not not this year's though, and he implies that Cornelius is covering something up. Which really does seem to be the case...

The Crown system was discontinued as a direct result of the Clash... we think. It is never explicitly stated "yeah the Clash happened so we aren't doing this anymore" it's instead alluded to as something they can't do because there are too many ghouls to control. We know it had to be this as Haku tells Zenji that it was discontinued after he died, and Zenji died during the Clash. According to Haku, he was killed by a rogue anomaly. He adamantly discourages MC from looking into the Clash gee why would you do that HAKU and this seems to be a similar stance to what Cornelius would take if he knew you were curious. Cornelius and Moby are reluctant to let Lyca free because "what if we have another case of a ghoul-" We can assume he is going to say "killing" or something along those lines based off the concerns listed about Lyca, but that's not confirmed.

Ritsu finds documents about the Clash in the school's archives. he finds them alongside disciplinary documents, he says he either overlooked them or someone had them checked out as he has not read them before. The file is thick and is specifically titled "The Clash: An Overview of Civil Affairs Instigated by Darkwick Students." The term "civil affairs" is interesting. As best I can tell it is a military term that refers to small scale missions undertaken by small teams that focus on civil action? Like diplomacy stuff? Or organizing humanitarian aid? And in more sinister scenarios to assist in psychological warfare to condition a population to not fight against your military but I don't know if that's what the translation team was going for here exactly. I think it's just meant to imply things got really bad and really violent.

Lastly, this is less easy to prove than some of the other things as fact but I still think it is one: there are hints of a split in the student body over who is pro-anomaly and anti-anomaly. Subaru is obviously very pro-anomaly and thinks that capturing them is cruel, Taiga seems to be pro eating anomalies while Romeo is very comfortable with catching them and collecting bounties. A lot of this seems to be tied to how they view the school, the Institute that runs it, and their place in that hierarchy. The one thing everyone seems to agree on is that they are trapped at Darkwick and don't want to be. At least not forever.

So to re cap all of the things we know to be fact: the Clash happened sometime last year, half a year ago at the absolute latest. The fight is thought to have been started by the ghouls, we do not know over what. The Laurel Crown system and the Darkwick Gala were both canceled after the fallout of the Clash, in which at least two named people are thought to have died: Zenji Kotodama who would have been a second year Hotarubi student and Dante whose former role is unknown. Zenji still resides in the school as a ghost, though this is unknown to Darkwick staff, and Dante has been brought on as a Professor. Also, all of the Inspectors seem to have quit at the end of the previous year due to the ghouls abusing mesmer matches on them. Three dormitories were disbanded at some point and one new one was created. We do not know if this was connected to the Clash or if it was an inciting incident for it, but at some point Clementia, one of those dormitories, was the scene of some sort of fight. Some of the students of Dionysia dorm went missing, presumably the ghouls. We know nothing about what happened to Ultio aside from the prison they were tasked with running now being run "by Darkwick." All general students from these dorms were re-assigned elsewhere, as were the general students previously assigned to Jabberwock who had general admissions halted. There is a spy amongst these ghouls who Taiga believes is intending to make them look bad; Alan and Tohma are attempting to isolate this spy. We do not know who this spy is spying for, or what Alan and Tohma want out of him exactly, nor do I really expect to find out anytime soon.

So. Now onto the Questions and Theories. As in things we can assume but cannot exactly prove:

Questions and Theories

Jiro and Zenji look extremely similar with a few noticeable differences, namely the piercings Jiro has and the glasses Zenji wears. My first thought was that maybe Jiro was made out of Zenji's corpse, but his birthday is listed as October 13th, which is not the middle of the year by any stretch. They also have different blood types; I think the most practical explanation comes from Zenji himself. When describing why he's so attached to the haunted doll you've found, he says it looks just like his brother did when he was a baby. I have some screenshots of Zenji following Jiro around in a campus event because he wants to help him find something he's looking for, so it does make a bit of sense. And make me even more sad.

The Institute that runs Darkwick seems to be deeply suspicious of ghouls and feel a need to keep them on a short leash. There is a great deal of distrust and resentment between the ghouls and the Institute, and the Clash seems to have been the result of that distrust. The thickness of the records Ritsu finds suggests to me that whatever the Clash was exactly, it took up most of the previous year and that it had something to do with Darkwick's treatment of anomalies.

On that point, I think that Clementia was likely destroyed by a rogue anomaly. The destruction MC sees is described as something going on a rampage, and not as a fight. The fight angle is still possible of course, and if that's the case I wonder if it has something to do with how Ultio was running the prison. I mentioned in the previous post that the goddesses these dorms are named after are meant to sort of balance each other out, so if there was going to be a clash of ideals between anyone on campus it'd probably be these guys.

I feel like Obscuary was set up as a result of the Clash? Or at the very least some time before it specifically so there would be some place for Rui and Ed to go. I think the dorm members will all be crossed with an anomaly in some way, Ed with a vampire, Rui with a reaper, and Lyca with a werewolf. Also, Ed is rumored to have done something. What? No fucking clue, don't even know if it's related to the Clash but still he has done something to get added into the rumor mill.

We don't know what Haku's stigma is as he didn't tell us. He also makes a point of saying that he thinks it's a good thing to get through a mission without using your stigma, if anything he seems to discourage the MC from using or relying on the ring to help the ghouls. You could see this as him trying to encourage her to value herself more, or maybe he thinks that there is a cost for using stigmas we don't know about just yet and they're not the blessings the ghouls think they are. Also he asks Cornelius if he has ever lied to him at the end of the chapter and if you think I didn't find that sus as all hell-

I need to sleep, but remind me to make a post about Haku sometime. Because I don't think he's evil exactly, but I do still think he's the spy.

#tokyo debunker #tdb #tdb theory #tokyo debunker theory

[wlwprker]

coming out- s.r. x gn!reader

a/n: this is my first time writing for gn! reader so i apologize if it's not great! In honor of pride month coming up, I wanted to write a little blurb of reader coming out as bi to spencer, ik some people don't have the best experiences w/ coming out so i hope this provides you with comfort! I want every single one of you reading this to know that no matter how you identify, you are VALID and loved :) bi!reid is real to me !!

warnings: insecurities, self-doubt, i didn't proofread too much sorry for grammar or spelling mistakes!! bold and italics! lowercase intended

wc: 913

you always knew you were different than most people your age in almost every single way. you didn't like parties, you found peace within the pages of a book rather than at a bass boosting party with alcohol and strangers compacted into one area. you liked the rain especially the petrichor that the rain provided, it was peaceful.

however, you could get lost in your own head just thinking about anything and everything. today's topic that was plaguing your mind was your sexuality, a very touchy subject. you knew so many people who knew who they were at the start but that was just not you, you found people attractive which is normal, but it wasn't until high school that something had changed, and you weren't prepared for it, so you pushed it down so far that you thought it wasn't real.

it was very real. you thought the way you felt for your friend was a platonic feeling but it wasn't. you daydreamed about them, being with them, wanting to cross the line of friendship. you yearned for them and every single conversation, meaningless touch, every look...it drove you crazy.

so now all that repressing has come back to the surface all these years later and you're forced to address these feelings, emotions and thoughts all at once. what scared you more than anything was having to come out, that was something that you never have had to do before.

naturally, your mind shifted to spencer. you haven't been together long, but you hoped he wouldn't look at you differently or treat you differently, it terrified you. it was way too early in the morning for this, you had to get ready for work, spencer always was up earlier than you, so he wasn't home. you sighed and shook off your thoughts as you got ready and grabbed breakfast and coffee and headed to work.

you both worked at the BAU, and you both knew it was risky to be together because of what the job entailed but spencer and you wanted to take that risk. work was a good distraction from being stuck inside your head, you could use something to push those thoughts far away.

however, spencer knew you like the back of his hand, he knew something was wrong, but you had to be in the briefing room for a case, he would find time to talk to you. the case was a rough one to put it lightly, everyone felt drained mentally and emotionally which just added more thoughts to your head.

"you're not sleeping?", spencer said quietly so he wouldn't startle you. you shrugged and avoided his eyes because you knew if you looked in his eyes, his eyes would be asking you to talk to him, you can't, not yet.

spencer noticed the way you didn't look at him and his eyebrows furrowed in worry, he knew you didn't want to talk but there was clearly something circling in your mind.

the jet ride back to the office was quiet, very quiet. as soon as the jet landed, you grabbed your stuff and waited for spencer. spencer packed his stuff and put an arm around your waist, and you started to walk towards the parking lot, but spencer softly guided you to the empty briefing room.

"spencer, what are we doing in here?", you asked curiously. he didn't answer he just looked at you, waiting for you to meet his eyes.

"what is running through that mind of yours?"

you didn't answer and spencer lifted your chin up with his finger, so you were now looking at him. "there's that pretty face!"

you couldn't fight the smile that appeared on your face. spencer always knew how to lift your spirits no matter what. it was one of the endless reasons why you adore him so much, you are so grateful to have someone who cares for you as much as he does.

"it's nothing, it's stupid"

"if it's bothering you, it's not stupid", spencer whispered, and you knew that you couldn't keep it in anymore, it was spencer, he has never judged you.

"i just don't want you to think about me differently"

spencer's heart twisted in pain at the mere thought that you were worried he would think of you in a different way. "sweetheart, there is nothing that you could do or say that will change the way i feel about you"

you took a deep breath and played with your necklace as you worked up the courage to finally speak. "i'm bisexual and i've been driving myself absolutely crazy because I didn't want you to like think of me or treat me differently. not that you would but i get so lost in my own head and i was just so scared that i-" spencer cut off your rambling by grabbing your face in his hands and kissed you with so much adoration, you felt dizzy.

"thank you for trusting me with this, angel but i love you, you know that right? it doesn't matter to me who you love because you're still all i want every day of my life"

spencer reid will be the death of you.

"i love you too, spence", you said as he feigned a sigh of relief, and you rolled your eyes playfully at his antics.

"at least we have another thing in common"

you raised your eyebrows at him, and he smiled brightly back at you.

#spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid fluff #wlwprker🥀💌 #criminal minds #spencer reid x gn reader

[snarp]

Real True Law Stories

This is heavily-paraphrased because 1) it happened a while back, and the conversations were longer and involved a lot more of me going "no! no! augh," and 2) the case was not actually about Ale-8 bottles, but its actual focus was similarly-specific, which would have made it really easy to look up.

Dad: Can you value a collection of old Ale-8 bottles for me, honey?

Me: ...possibly, but I'm not going to. Is this a blasting case again? Did someone's designated used Ale-8 bottle shelf fall over?

Dad: No, they got stolen. He had this shed or big closet or something totally full of collectible Ale-8 bottles, he's got all these insurance photos, he'd had them appraised by the national Ale-8 bottle expert -

Mom: Dear...

Dad: No, he's definitely really upset about these lost Ale-8 bottles! He's traumatized! Do you think I don't deal with liars? ...He thinks his estranged drug-addict relative stole the Ale-8 bottles.

Me: No. That did not happen.

Mom: That's probably not what happened, dear.

Dad: Drug addicts steal stuff all the time, what is this -

Me: Dad, no, this is fucking logistically -

Dad: - don't, I'm telling the story, stop it - "logistically" -

Me: A drug addict would not steal and hock a huge collection of Ale-8 bottles! They're heavy and fragile and that's a ridiculous specialist hobby, logistically it'd be way too -

Mom: The bottles were definitely stolen, dear?

Me: Why wouldn't you just steal, like, the TV? Or the car or whatever?! You don't steal the Ale-8 bottles!

Dad: They were stolen! He was gone! He'd had a fight with this person, he couldn't get back into the house for a while, he came back and the bottles were gone, he was heartbroken!

Me: No! You don't steal the collection of Ale-8 bottles, that's not what you steal!

Dad: No, they knew he really liked these bottles, it was revenge or something? Seriously, he keeps asking me why I can't make the police go and arrest this person and find out where they put the bottles, he's really angry! He misses his bottles.

Mom: *sigh* Okay, dear. So the Ale-8 bottles were stolen and insurance won't cover them.

Dad, to Me: So you're going to try and value the Ale-8 bottle collection for me. It'll be easy.

Me: I am not.

Dad: He has a spreadsheet.

Me: No. - You said he already had it appraised!

Mom: Before the Ale-8 bottle heist...

Dad: He did! I mean. There's this guy who writes Ale-8 bottle valuation books, he lives - somewhere, and the client knows him over, I guess, an Ale-8 bottle club? Ale-8 bottle mailing list? On the internet. - and he came on this road trip to just look at these Ale-8 bottles in the guy's shed or closet! Does that make sense?

Me: If this is an actual collecting hobby that other people engage in, and not a scam - if Ale-8 bottle collecting is something that's real - then yes, that's normal if you've got a valuable collection, I guess? How much did he say all these Ale-8 bottles were worth, is this even a sane case to be taking if he's telling the truth?

Dad: [a very large number]

Mom, who has been quietly thinking about this while we do our manzai routine: Well, there are definitely other Ale-8 bottle collectors, honey. [name] likes them, I think?... That seems awfully high. He had them in a shed? Like a garden shed?

Dad: I've seen the book! He showed me the Ale-8 bottle book! It was a shed or a garage or a side room or something. They weren't outside.

Me: If what you're trying to figure out is whether this guy and the appraiser are for real, I'd just... look around online and make sure there are actually people buying and selling these things, and talking about them to the extent he says there are, I guess?

Mom: If there's a real community and a real buyer base.

Dad: The Ale-8 bottle book had numbers in it, like values.

Me: The numbers don't mean anything if his buddy wrote the book and if they're the only two people who care about Ale-8 bottles!

Dad: You know, you're awfully suspicious of these Ale-8 bottles...

Me: It's a completely ridiculous story. - You're suspicious of them, too! That's why you even asked me to value Ale-8 bottles!

Dad: You're just not a trusting person. You're paranoid. You know, I trust all my clients completely -

*My Ale-8-bottle-related-outrage HP drops too low and I die.*

Mom: No. What she's saying is that their book value -

Dad: Yeah, that's the word, their book value! Like a Kelley Blue Book value for a car, that's what this other guy does, he does the Blue Book for the bottles. So all I have to do is show the insurance company the Kelley Bottle Book, right?

Mom: No.

Dad: It's fine! The insurance company will be completely cooperative. What are they going to complain about, it's right there in the book.

Mom: Does the book reflect the market values of the bottles? The street values? Are these the prices that people pay on eBay or wherever when they're buying the bottles?

Dad: I don't know.

Mom: Are they the prices he paid for them?

Dad: I don't know. Probably.

*I finish my corpse-run and resurrect.*

Me: There's got to be an actual market for there to be market prices. People who buy the things and have opinions about how much they're worth and stuff.

Dad: Can you research that for me, honey? Research the Ale-8 bottle market?

Me: I'm not going to do that. You have [name] in the office, right? You are paying her money to do this stuff for you, correct?

Dad: You never want to help me. Help me research Ale-8 bottles. I don't know why my daughters never help me.

Mom: And then you have to prove all this stuff to the judge and jury. Will they believe that Ale-8 bottles are worth anything?

Me: Please show us how you will emotionally convince the jury that these Ale-8 bottles are worth money. Make it sound like you're really sad about the loss of the valuable Ale-8 bottle collection.

Dad: Nnnno! *laughs* Oh, my god, they're such bullshit! They're these little bottles! And he had zillions of them! He must have some sort of trauma in his past, I'm going to ask [Psychiatrist Who Acts As An Expert Witness In PTSD Cases] to examine him... - Well, this is some southern thing, like the little toy stock cars that guy had. I don't know, maybe a southern jury will buy it?

Me: Say that "a jury of your peers" means "a jury of Ale-8 bottle collectors."

Mom: Yeah, hope you get a collector on the jury or on the bench.

*- several months later -*

Dad: So do you want to hear what happened at court the other day? With my Ale-8 bottle guy?

Me: You're going to tell me about the Ale-8 bottle guy regardless. Did it turn out to be insurance fraud?

Dad: No, actually! - well, I don't know. "A reasonable doubt for a reasonable price!"

Mom: Dear.

Dad: So obviously the insurance guys are like, "this is bullshit! It's bullshit! Ale-8 bottles aren't worth anything, the whole thing is bullshit!" And I'm like, okay, well. And they don't want to go to mediation, and they give us this lowball number to settle, and, obviously, no.

Dad: So we go in front of Judge [X] the other day, and I'm like, *solemn expression* "Judge. My client has had his extremely valuable Ale-8 bottle collection stolen, and his insurance will not pay for it even though he had it personally appraised by The Ale-8 Bottle Man."

Me: Who is his buddy and who may well be artificially inflating the prices of stuff he and his friends have a lot of, sure.

Dad: You don't know that!

Mom: And opposing counsel said…?

Dad: So, [Other Lawyer], he got up there and he was like, "Well, Judge, I mean. Ale-8 bottles, right? They're Ale-8 bottles." And they start - but then the judge goes, "Actually. I wanted to say, I was looking over the documents in this case. And, well, I've got a bit of a collection myself - I've got the - 1492 Foofrall-something Bottle and a mint-condition Bluh-buh-buh Bottle, and" and then he just sits there and lists all these Ale-8 bottles he's got for like, several minutes.

Me: Is this a joke. Did this actually happen.

Dad: It happened! It did happen!

Me: Mom!

Mom: I know, dear. It happened. He is not making this up.

Dad: So I get out of there and I go over and talk to opposing counsel, and just! The looks on their faces! They looked so defeated.

Me: They've got to be really suspicious of you right now.

Mom: "Is this why he took the case? Did he know?"

Dad: No! I had no idea! I was just as flabbergasted as they are, I've never heard him - okay, did you know this terrible fact about Judge [X]? Did you know he was one of them? The Bottlers?

Mom: I did not know this. I knew that he golfed.

Dad: So, long story short, I kind of think that this case is going to settle?

Mom: Unless the bottles are just in his basement, and he posts a picture of them to his Facebook without thinking.

Dad: Huh?

Mom: Like your other guy.

Dad: Those weren't bottles.

#the law #dad says stuff #mom says stuff #The Bottlers

[torchickentacos]

#vent post #ok to rb without screenshotting the tags but idk why you'd do that anyways #I'm once again wishing every fellow adult living with their parents a very 'I'm sorry o7' #mom's getting on my case about 'not wanting to be part of the family' #but if dinners are always silent and uncomfortable with all of us not talking then I think it's normal for me to leave the table #when I'm done eating. it's not 'not wanting to be part of the family' it's just not wanting to be somewhere awkward as hell lmfao #like oh okay sorry let me sit here for another fifteen minutes silently bc y'all ignore every conversation I try to start. jesus christ. #goddddddddddddddddddd fuck the housing market lmao #I love my family but I'd like them a hell of a lot more if I didn't live here #a little distance does wonders #anywaysssss sending love to everyone else who is perpetually stuck at home. esp oldest siblings and ill folk 🤝 #we'll get out eventually #no more silent dinners and people who find your optimism and attempts to lighten the mood to be juvenile #stay miserable and pragmatic and 'realist'. no joy or whimsy. fucking whatever. I'm not sinking down to cynicism. #what's the opposite of being the moody black sheep of the family lmao. I'm the only one who seems to enjoy being unserious #ok. vent over but fr anyone else stuck at home when they don't want to be: i love you and we'll figure it out in time. things WILL work out #delete later???

[icewindandboringhorror]

I found socks with my favorite flowers on them (nasturtiums!), but they literally don't match anything I own, so making an outfit with them is difficult.. just all black with the bright shoes and a random stuffed animal for accents lol

#self #ootd #still unsure if I should do the like.. 'saying where stuff is from' section at the end of outfit posts like I think it's popular to do #but it just feels repetitive because basically for everything is just 'it's all thrifted' occasional 'shoes from ebay 10 years ago so I don #t remember the seller' or 'socks from a random sock store in the mall 2 years ago' etc. #even the stuffed animal is from the bins lol #Shoes and tights and wigs are the only things that it tends to be harder to get from the bins. Though I still find some #except wigs. I wouldn't really wear Bin Wigs since half the bins have like mysterious wet stuff and mold in them or etc. #I've gotten some shoes and stuff there though. But most of my shoes are from online. It's just that theyre also not from #like.. brands..?? Like 'converse' or something. It's more.. some random ebay seller in 2017 or something #so then that feels weird too because I thought the point of that being popular is so people can go find the things you're wearing and #buy them or whatever. but in my case that would never be helpful ghjbjk #since I also keep things so long. I have shoes and stuff Ive had since elementary school #good luck tracking down where I got these tights on ebay in 2011. good luck going to the bins or a thriftstore and finding the same #exact dress or etc. So then in that case does it even matter?? eh #The only sense I could see it being useful in is like. people seeing that they could make looks without spending a lot of money. #since I have had some comments on costumes or makeups before like 'omg I would love to look like this if I had the $$ for clothes *sad emo #ji*' or whatever. and I always want to message them and be like.. this entire outfit cost like $2.. you can do it. Don't get discouraged #I mean depending on the resources available to you. I know not everyone has a bins type place near the #m. but still. and all of my makeup and wigs are cheap as hell. Probably full of terrible chemicals. but I wear them like. once every 5 mont #hs or less since I dont do full costumes that often so hopefully wont get an infection or something. etc. etc. #ANYWAY. I could see it being useful I guess in just letting people know most of everything is secondhand #if that's meaningful to them for some reason. but also I feel like thats obvious since I talk about it. so #still just seems repetitive to me. ANYWAY. Love nasturtiums... aaaaaa... even though it's not my colors at all and I never #wear black or anything that would match them #I had to do it. I also normally would never ever pay $12 for socks but.. it's SO specific to my tastes and I had never seen anything #with nasturtiums on it before since they dont seem as popular as like roses or sunflowers. One of my once every 2 years #impulse buys at a mall ghjhjb.. (I never go to malls and also just rarely buy stuff in general since I'm evil miserly penny pincher etc.) #Kind of like how once a year I allow myself to have one steak from a restaurant or something but that's all. Once every few years #I will go to a large mall at a not busy time of day so I can avoid crowds. just to look around for fun. and will maybe buy like. One thing

[plexippusangel]

I either need to accept that I am just a way stronger person than this friend and can handle way more while still being able to engage with the world as a person, or recognize excuses as excuses, accept that I am not valued and be done or. Maybe both. Idk. It might be somewhere between the two. I am just sick of regular life stuff rendering him unable to spend any time with me, and of him being unable to bear any of the details of my life, when I would move mountains to rekindle our friendship. Though I'm starting to wonder if I still would.

#faer personal files #i just. really didn't want officiating his wedding to be our last hurrah of friendship even though i did kind of feel it coming #also i'm really sick of being infantilized for my chronic fatigue i am a grown adult and i know what i'm capable of #ugh. maybe i'm just being awful and not understanding in which case i'm too much of a rancid person to be his friend i guess #but i don't think that's the case #idk i'll never forget when i couldn't see this dude for a year even masked up outside for covid but when another of our old friends came up #from her job doing COVID RELATED CROWD CONTROL FOR THE FUCKING ARMY he went on a hike with her mask off #and i think that says a lot about what our friendship's been for years honestly. if he can't bear my company idk why i try #if i'm just an interesting prop for conversations and occasions but not a friend. i can't accept that #i am an interesting prop for conversations. the disabled genderfluid bisexual genius who lost everything bc of said disability #but i didn't lose everything i just have to fucking rebuild on new ground. and i am doing that. i whine on occasion but i am so strong #and i do know how to interact with people without traumadumping i haven't on him in YEARS but his concept of me crystalized at age 21 #or something like that i guess. idk it just breaks my heart #bc for a long time he was my person. he was the only person who knew the authentic me. more even than my sisters at times. #and yeah that was a little unhealthy but at the time he craved that!!! #and then i grew up and stopped needing him like that around the same time he stopped wanting that and it should have been fucking fine #but like. even senior year of college when i was sick it was already starting to fall apart #like i remember being on a small hike once being exhausted and jokingly being like you gotta carry me back and then being like #no really i might actually need an arm to lean on by the end of this walk if i'm gonna make it back to the car i really don't know if i can #and he said no bc he didn't want to look straight. who the fuck CARES??? i could barely walk i was stumbling my way back annoying him going #too slow. fuck. and that really has been what our friendship has been for years. the minute my house wasn't the most convenient place it wa #more or less dead idk why i keep dragging this horse around #idk why i keep letting him break my heart like this it's so stupid he's never gonna care about me like he did when i was quick and brillian #but never quite as smart as him in his view. fuck him. i'm smarter. just bc i was a little gullible or paranoid at times bc of the #FUCKING CPTSD doesn't mean i was dumber than him. the fuck??? there's something wrong with me i swear idk why i hang on #anyway i'm irritated. but i'm also reluctant to throw away somebody who's seen me through key points in my life. so.

[intersex-support]

Hi! I know this might be kind of a weird ask, but I just needed a space to talk about this and your blog appears to be safe.

So I have what has been diagnosed previously as PCOS. I'm seeking genetic testing for various reasons, but the symptoms are relatively consistent. Anyway.

One thing I never see talked about is how people with PCOS can and do face medical abuse and "correction". I was put unwillingly onto puberty blockers - ones not even intended as such, it was a common off-label use that came with potential long term side effects. I'm also trans, but didn't know it at the time. Had I known, I may have chosen puberty blockers, but it was still very much a nonconsensual attempt to "correct" my "precocious puberty".

Then as an adult, due to, well long story, but abuse from my mom, I was convinced to take estrogen-based birth control that in all likelihood contributed to my worsening dysphoria, to "manage" the huperandrogenism I'm now actively encouraging with low dose testosterone. Without constantly being told it's ugly, I love being hyperandrogenous! It makes me euphoric!

Related to this, I also got told I was appropriating intersex experiences for wanting my (already intersex body) to more closely match my being intersex. I admittedly said it poorly, in a way that made it seem like I was generalizing all intersex bodies into a common misconception, but I was trying to say that me being altersex (or another word, I've heard that term can be intersexist but don't have an alternative, if it is I'm happy to change the term I use) is a direct result of me being intergender/intergender (again, don't know which terminology to use, sorry!). I was accused of fetishizing intersex conditions by someone who admitted that PCOS should be considered one.

I don't actually know whether I had any coercive surgery in infancy due to a lot of crap with birthfamily and being removed at nine months and adopted at 14 months. But every other experience I've had has been (mostly perisex and a few bad faith gatekeeping intersex) people coercing me into fitting more neatly into a binary sex, often medically, and often with transphobia on top. I've had people deny that I can experience transness in multiple ways (I use transfem, transmasc, and transneutral/transandrogenous, particularly because I also am plural which just further complicates things.

I just... I wish people understood that I have faced many of the struggles typical to the intersex community. I have never experienced gender like a perisex person. I have always been cautious about speaking to my own experiences because I've tried to be aware of privilege where I have it and to uplift the voices of others with different experiences than mine, even where there are no dynamics of privilege/oppression.

Having people like you say "yes, people with PCOS can use the intersex label, we have shared experiences, you belong" has also been incredibly healing. It's like... I feel like people can often innately recognize when they have shared community in regards to innate identity. I felt drawn to the queer community before my gender/sexuality eggs cracked, for example. I feel like exclusion only hurts people because it- well, essentially is a form of gaslighting. "No, your experiences in this specific aspect are fundamentally so alien to ours that we couldn't possibly talk about commonalities in any meaningful way, and will deny you a belonging that is already yours." Does that make any sense?

I'm not perfect in the way I say things, so I do wanna say that I'm absolutely willing to be corrected if something I have said is harmful.

Just uh,,, thank you for listening to this long vent.

(In case I interact via anon in the future, can I sign off with "starry anon"?)

Hey, anon 💜

I'm so sorry that you've had to put up with so much judgment, abuse, and coercion from so many people and places that you expected to be safe. You did not deserve any of that. You have PCOS and hyperandrogenism, and you are intersex. You belong in intersex spaces and anyone who says you doesn't is being a complete asshole. There's so many reasons like you've listed here, where you have so many commonalities of experiences with other intersex people, and deserve to be able to find compassion and solidarity. I'm so sorry that you've faced medical abuse, and I think you're brave for speaking up about it and talking about the fact that intersex people with PCOS can and do face medical abuse. You are not alone in that, and it absolutely wasn't your fault.

You are intersex, and there is no way that you can appropriate your own experiences. I sort of do think that altersex is a label that's used in an intersexist way a lot of times and I personally tend to be uncomfortable with it, and I tend to stay away from altersex because of my issues with it. I think altersex is really only being used by people who aren't intersex, so I could see why people might have thought you were fetishizing or appropriating intersex experiences, as if you say you are altersex people are going to think you are saying you are dyadic. You can just say that you're intersex and intergender if that's language that makes you feel comfortable, although I'm not going to tell you what language is and isn't right for you to use--that's a personal choice.

I don't know you and your story and I'm also not going to tell you what ways of experiencing your gender and what labels are okay for you to use--I know that it can get very complicated when we're intersex and we're sometimes reassigned gender or sex in childhood, or at puberty, or undergo certain types of transition that's unexpected for our AGAB. I don't think that it's a free-for-all that any intersex person ever can just claim to be transmasc or transfem or both or that every single intersex person has a claim to every label, but my policy is to trust intersex people when they tell me their labels and trust that they know what the most accurate and affirming language is to use based on their own lived experiences. I think this is something that individual intersex people have to really think through and decide what labels are appropriate for them to use, and be thoughtful about what times we need to stay in our lane and when we follow our instincts. It does get complicated and my approach is to just trust that people know what labels are actually accurate to their life, and I only bring things up if it is an issue. If people are appropriating labels, if they don't have a certain type of lived experience but they are claiming that they do, if they are perpetuating oppression, then I will call people out and deal with whatever they are actually doing. I'm not going to tell you that you can't use labels or not when I don't know your life and story, or say whether you should be doing things or not, and just trust that you have thought through what is appropriate and what is right for you and listened to what the communities you are a part of are telling you.

Even though you did use altersex language, or if you were confused and couldn't figure out the best way to phrase things, you still are intersex and have an intersex body. And I completely understand wanting intersex affirming and gender affirming things to feel more comfortable in your body. I think that a lot of intersex people do have dysphoria and I know a lot of us who really have strong feelings about wanting to return to our natural intersex bodies before medical abuse, or returning to a version of ourselves that we were never allowed to be. I think that's something that makes so much sense, and even though I can see why people would react badly if they thought you were dyadic and using confusing language, know that you are not doing anything wrong by being intersex and having these feelings, and you cannot appropriate your own experiences. You belong in intersex community and are allowed to share your own experiences.

This blog is a safe space for you, anon, and feel free to share your story or come and vent if you need it.

💜💜💜

-Mod E

#asks #actuallyintersex #intersex #to clarify bc we've been having a lot of discussions on and offline about this lately #i don't think that every intersex person ever. can claim to be transmasc or transfem #like for instance i think it would be entirely inappropriate for me to claim to be transfem. i was afab raised female #and even though I went through medical abuse and hormonal conversion therapy #I don't think i live in any meaningful way as a transfem person. because i am a trans man #so im like in my case it would be weird if i started claiming i was transfem u know. bc im not #but i do think that with intersex people. birth asssignment gets tricky #i have a friend who was amab. but then was raised as a girl from the age of 5. and than at puberty transitioned back. and he considers #himself a trans man #so im like okay i think there are times where people's birth assignment doesn't line up with the dyadic birth assignment for a trans experi #so it does get complicated when you are intersex. or when you're intersex and like #you're transitioning one way. in a way that isn't usually expected of your birth assignment #and i dont' think i get to make all the rules for who is what. i think that would be silly #i think that's something that we all just need to think about what labels are right for us to use and what our experiences are #and if we think we're overstepping then we totally might be! if we think we belong in a certain community or certain label #and the community accepts us! that can also be true #so basiaclly long story short: i dont think that being intersex means that now you can just say that you r whatever trans label you feel #like. if you don't have the lived experiences #and i think it's good for us to be aware of that. but i do think its complicated #and that if you do have the lived experiences. if a certain label you use is right for you. im going to trust you #bc i am not in charge and dont feel like you know. telling people what they can and can't do

[rogersstevie]

do swifties who constantly whine about gaylors realize that they are not actually any different bc simply by being in a fandom for a real person you are already in a way forgetting that they are just another human being like whether you’re full of love or hate for a public figure, having such strong feelings about someone you don’t know IS a little dehumanizing and i’m not dissing it, bc i’ve been a fan of plenty of real people but there’s so much hypocrisy in it like you are not actually any different or better of a fan, you talk about taylor in the EXACT same way, it just doesn’t have anything to do with her sexuality

#like you realize people talking about karlie and taylor talk about them the same way you talk about taylor and joe like do you get that #you're not better! #not to mention like.....there's a lot of claims of trying to force people out or something #which CAN absolutely be the case for a portion of fandom but like most people are just talking on their own blog #having an opinion is not the same as trying to out someone like helloooo #i will say a lot of gaylors have no respect re: closeting but unfortunately that's just the state of the lgbt community nowadays #like oh if you're in the closet you're not ~really~ part of this and fuck you for doing what you can to connect to the community #but in terms of like being invasive/speculating about personal lives/having strong opinions and assumptions....you all do that too #anyway i wanna be done talking about this for now it's just so frustrating when the gaylor conversations seeps to the rest of fandom #it's why i don't connect to anyone on either side of it bc swifties are hypocrites and gaylors are assholes

[karmaphone]

also I fully believe if the Menendez trial(s) happened today it would have swung in the brothers' favor for two distinct reasons: 1) metoo means people are way more willing to believe survivors of sexual assault, including boys and men and 2) there would have been so much more public backlash as a result of disallowing making any part of their abuse part of their defense in the second trial they would have had to reverse it, if it was even attempted at all

#ask to tag #like the second trial is just so fucking BONKERS to me holy fuck #how do you lose a case then go 'well it was your good defense actually. that's not allowed' like holy FUCK #a hung case is still considered lost btw #bc the prosecution failed to prosecute #also sidenote: I don't fuck with you if you don't believe them #how can you watch the documentary that Erik narrated from prison and not believe it holy fuck #like. we got a hung jury IN THE NINETIES. that was 30 years ago. unwind 30 years of progress against social stigma in your mind. there was #still enough evidence for reasonable doubt with all of that bias. imagine if it had been tried today!!!!!! #30+ years of them in prison for no fucking reason!!!! I mean they #probably would have gotten out on time served if they got convicted of voluntary manslaughter!!! #to paraphrase the defense is the only good abuse victim a dead one? we've been having this (lack of) conversation about how acceptable it is #for abuse victims and survivors to Fight Back for decades. now look at amber heard. holy fuck #I just. I think about it a lot sometimes #do you think the jury for the second trial after they convicted found the evidence from the first trial and would have changed their minds? #because they convicted based on evidence presented and they weren't allowed to present anything to do with the abuse at ALL #like. none of the cousins who said that they told them they were being touched. none of the family who saw suspicious things. none of the #coaches and teachers who never saw any affection from their parents only punishment #I just. the second trial is actually disgusting to me lmfao

[candied-cae]

Hey y'all- lemme get a little honest about white privilege and ignorance for a second. We're talking about me in this case. Bc I wanna send a thank you to people I've seen on Twitter discussing the use of the 'nickname' Calico Jack uses for Edward in fanfics.

I've been working on a reunion fight between Stede and Ed for weeks now and in my first draft of it I wrote something like: "Ol' *Nickname*, really is an evil monster down to his evil heart, right?" being said by Ed to Stede.

The intention was to use this nickname as the painful characterization it was in the show as a point for Ed to push how he was feeling. That he felt like all the blame was being unfairly thrown his way, like Stede was looking him as nothing more than the monster everyone else has seen, like Stede was seeing the same racist caricature that so many have assumed was all there was to him.

I thought this reasoning to use to nickname as the slur it was, was enough to justify using it. But when I started seeing the discussion of it, I started to get worried. Most of the posts about the use of the name were to not include it as a nickname, as it isn't really one. To instead replace it with "Beardie" or other things in a context of friendliness. But I wasn't really using it that way, so I wasn't sure how the input applied to the scene I was writing... But I chose to err on the side of caution.

I've gone ahead and re-written the line as: "’The ol’ Demon really is rotten, all the way through his evil fucking bones right into his evil fucking heart’, right?" to just use a different nickname, though the passage loses as bit of the point I was going for...

But - as a white fic writer - my priority is not to be "making points" at the expense of my POC readers.

Just food for thought in case other fic writers run into this sort of question themselves. Lines can be rewritten, even if they don't work in the same way as you as originally wanted the dialogue to go. But POC people in fandom deal with enough racism as is, I do not want to pile onto it in making this space further unsafe for them to participate in.

Remember, education is a never ending endeavor. There are more than a few times when lack of education will fail you. Listen and adjust, it something we all need to keep working at because adding to the suffering of POC's for one's own self interest will never be the right way to go about things.

#Thanks for coming to my TedTalk- #Uh- yeah #Am currently working on said fic some more and as I workshop on edit the reunion fight I wanted to put together something about this #white people - we need to be more comfortable about admitting times where we've been confused and figured out what to do #It is not evil to run into a conflict and need to spend some time to understand how you should handle something #And I think a lot of white people who have the best intensions try to act like we never run into these moments #where we see discussion and don't want to clog it with our lack of understanding so we kind of wait for more interpretations #that's at least how it went for me in this case #as most of the discussions were surrounding leaving the slur out of friendly conversations in fic #but I was needing input on using it in a different context to acknowledge it was a bad name and have Ed acknowledge it too #But at the end of the day - as a white person - to use what IS in fact a slur just to fulfill my own ignorant first draft? #It is not worth it #Our Flag Means Death #Our Flag Means Death Spoilers #ofmd #Our Flag Means Death Fanfic #ofd fanfic #Stede Bonnet #Edward Teach #The Revenge #Gentleman Pirate #Blackbeard #blackbeard x stede #gentlebeard #blackbonnet #Stedward #stedebeard

[datastate]

oh, yeah. it’s really weird to me how people act like just bc someone’s outspoken / openly opinionated or happens to talk a lot, they’re somehow seen as full of themselves or whatever. even if it is based in self-confidence (which, in my case, it’s very much not), it’s still just such a shitty view to constantly conflate that with egoism.

#jestersvaguely #only slightly related but #not to get all genuine on tumbIr dot com but yeah... erm. some things really get to me sometimes? esp from people i'm fond of #and even if i feel like shit it usually doesn't stop me from 'talking' or writing it out - even if it's not publicly #writing my thoughts out* #and in those cases when i feel worse i tend to get more abrasive. that's just how it is. or i come across as much more blunt #usually because i'm dissociating so it leans more into the fact i don't have the energy to soften my words or to hold conversations for #longer periods of time. so it's more like 'cut to the point' even if it is ultimately detrimental #bc i really do have to put in. a lot more effort than the avg person to keep my tone... decent? respectable? anyway #this is just. how i generally am. which is why it's so painful when i can't make myself coherent #i don't get quiet unless. well. unless i'm planning out my death LOL #suicide mention #i suppose! i see no reason to dance about it though #it's just funny and a bit depressing to me to see people who act like these types of people are impenetrable and #somehow blissfully have no care... like oh how i'd love that but i guarantee you this is just how i interact with the world #how i communicate myself. how i indulge. if i don't manage this connection then i'll die

[britneyshakespeare]

You know last week before my night class started I was chatting with this girl who sat across from me and mentioned how I was tired and could really use a cup of coffee and she goes "oh, so I guess coffee is your spirit animal?"

And I was like... no... no not really...

#she recited a few other internet one-liners to graze over it but it was weird #text post #tales from diana #not that these are at all comparable bc they're very different in nature but #kaily and i were having a conversation yesterday abt how it feels all the sudden as a white person when another white friend suddenly drops #like the ironic n-word in front of you out of nowhere. probably just to be funny most of the time. #im always like. HUH???? DO YOU EXPECT ME TO LAUGH RIGHT NOW???? #i call it out as gross but it's always unexpected and disappointing. #like not only would you use that word so brazenly. but you expect me to giggle nd laugh along and validate it? NOT the case whatsoever dude #the spirit animal thing is a different form of casual racism bc a lot of ppl don't truly know wtf a spirit animal is #they just think the words sound funny together. it's a form of hyperbole to say x is your spirit animal #especially if it's not an animal??? #remember when directioners would always joke niall was their spirit animal... *shivers* #to get back to the n word thing briefly bc i had one more thing to say #one of my friends i made recently had to drop a lot of toxic cishet white guy friends #she's a black queer latina immigrant who kinda had a tendency to want to befriend ppl she was afraid could hurt her #i didn't see this happen in front of me. but apparently they'd drop casual n words EVEN W THE HARD R in front of her and like #look to her for approval?!?!?!?!? #and she told me 'i feel bad bc they probably don't know better' (& she was naturally also very afraid of seeming 'angry' @ them) #& i was like. oh no girl. like. there's a lot of shit white guys don't know & won't teach themselves #like a lot a lot. that's not one of them though. #even if you're a white kid who grew up in a 97% white suburb (like me) you heard growing up not to use that word bc it's offensive #men who are like 30 years old and working in a multicultural educational system heavily frequented by immigrants... they SHOULD know better #that they somehow don't is embarrassing AT BEST but i know those guys & they're actually racist #that was a few months ago though since she dropped them (it was their own fault... i didn't tell her what to do but they caused this drama) #(no need to explain but someone was a COMPLETE jerk and ran away w no apologies... fuck that guy) #ive really enjoyed getting to know her and the other night she sent me a message abt how she really feels loved and accepted #by me :) and kaily and a few other ppl ive introduced her to. she's had a terrible history w friendships & relationships in this country #that made me feel very warm bc i really do love her she's a fun person to be around and talk to. we have a lot of common interests #yeah. rant turns to wholesome story in the tags to start your morning.