#(yes fritz is gay. he gets it from his dad who is also gay)

[eat-a-dicker]

here's fritz! i never got to do much with him since people gravitated towards lorraine and she's just on surface level a lot more entertaining but here he is. lorraine has been put back at her original age which was 11 or so (for this little stint), and fritz here is 8. he has to attend classes with the special eds kids i think cause he's mute and he has affections for jimmy.

#also fritz gets really big with they get older #south park #jimmy valmer #fritz fitzgerald #bathdraws #(yes fritz is gay. he gets it from his dad who is also gay) #irving having kids is a whole ass super complicated situation that i will not get into now #irving basically did not want kids. life just happened to him #fritz becomes a programmer in the future just to have a job that doesn't require face to face socialization

[ninjago-confesshions-blog]

im so sorry man my phone broke and i had to get a new one and i lost all my notes i had to turn into confessions 😭 anyway,,, may i ask what YOUR hcs are?? bc im interested i wanna know

-🌸

for all the ninja or just cole? ya know what, have all of em bestie!!

------

Kai:

- 5'11 so about average height

- Amber Eyes

- Cuban features, very pretty brown skin

- He has a very athletic build. He's tall, and slender, although he's pretty jacked. think of what a marathon runner looks like. Yeah he's got that body type.

-Legs for days.

-BRACES!!! I'm sorry I just LOVE guys with braces and I think Kai would look adorable with braces. Here's my explanation, he has an overbite that didn't get fixed till he was an adult due to obvious reasons, and it caused complications, so he's gotta have braces. He's SUPER insecure about them but his boyfriends (yes I ship polyninja) find them adorable.

-Pansexual. If he finds you hot he finds you hot, no doubt about it.

-Cis male, he/him

-Kai has a naturally higher body temp than normal people, making him quite popular for cuddles in the winter time. Although unfortunately, that means he's absolutely miserable in the summer time. He has to take a lot of precautions in the summer to make sure that he doesn't collapse from heat exhaustion or heat stroke.

-SUPER into fashion and fashion design. I headcanon that he had to sew a lot of their own clothes when it was just him and Nya because it was cheaper, and he actually ended up loving it. So, he saved up some leftover cash and bought a couple of fashion magazines sometime in his early tweens/teens, and FELL IN LOVE!! He got invested into he world of fashion, and now he's basically a fashion guru. He's always got an outfit for every occasion, and doesn't mind giving his friends fashion help or advice. He even made Jay an entire Fritz Donnigan cosplay for Comic Con (or whatever Ninjago's equivalent is) -Also my boy can drum! Yeah shocker I know, but for some reason I have always loved the idea of Kai being a really good drummer. I think it's because he reminds me a lot of my friend in real life who's a drummer. But yeah, he's a really good drummer.

-------

Cole:

-------

- 6'2, my mans is TALL

- beautiful dark brown eyes <3

-Indian features, beautiful dark brown skin

-This man is a bear if I've ever seen one. He's big, he's strong, and he's got that amazing dad bod that we all love.

-Gay man

-Cis man, he/him

-He's autistic! He's really sensitive to noise, and sudden loud noises can give him panic attacks. His special interests are art and music theory.

-He has REALLY high empathy levels, and he's really sensitive. He just hates to show it because he was raised with the idea of "Boys don't cry" He's been taught to hide his emotions, so that's what he does. But in reality, he's a really sensitive dude. As time went on, and as he worked more and more with Sensei Wu, he learned that emotions weren't a bad thing. They're what make people human, and over time he became very emotionally mature, and in tune with his own feelings.

- He's got tattoos. Idk what I love about tattoos on guys, but I think they're just incredibly attractive and cool. He doesn't get them to look tough though. He gets them because he thinks that it's a cool form of art, and he wants to take part in it. Some tattoos mean a lot to him, and some he just got because he wanted to put a cool piece of art on his body. His favorite tattoo was the first one he ever got. It's a tattoo of a lily in honor of his mother.

-PIERCINGS!!!!! He's got gauges as well as an eyebrow piercing. He also has snake bites.

-My boy is a really good artist, he just refuses to admit it. He has so many sketchbooks filled to the brim with doodles and sketches. He will literally die if anybody looks through them though.

-AMAZING guitar and bass player. He's never been one for performing, but he loves to play on his own. Whenever he's stressed out he'll pluck out a bass line or a guitar riff, and then all is well.

-Huge poet. He loves to write songs and poetry in his free time, and he has an entire notebook full of little songs and poems. He's been doing it since he was very little, and he often writes in times of distress as a coping mechanism. The only other person he's shared them with is Kai, just because they've been together the longest. All of his poems are very personal to him, and he pours his heart out into each and every single one.

-Yeah, despite being pressured to perform his entire life, he does have a genuine love and respect for the arts. He just hates being forced. He'd rather do things on his own terms rather than being forced to do them, and once he got away from his dad, his love for the arts began to return. Although, no matter how much time passes, he will always hate performing. Although, he doesn't mind making an exception for his boyfriends.

-HUGE dog lover. He feels like dogs just fit his vibe. He likes cats too ofc, he loves all animals, but he loves dogs the most. His favorite type are big dogs you can just wrap your arm around. His favorite breed is the Newfoundland.

- His aesthetic is very grunge. He wears a lot of old band tees and ripped jeans. He also doesn't mind wearing a spiked bracelet every once in a while too.

-His favorite form of expression is music. He loves to listen to it, and he has a playlist for about every feeling, experience, or idea out there.

- He developed his love for soft rock through his mother. When he was little, they'd listen to the soft rock station together whenever they had the time.

-----

Jay

-----

-5'6, he's short lmao

- Jay is very thin, but he's very lean. He was basically made for speed and agility. He's not very strong, but his wits and quick feet easily make up for it. He defeats his foes by outsmarting them, and throwing them off balance.

- Irish features. This dude is as pale as paper in my eyes. If he steps out into the sun he needs to put on like 4 layers of sunscreen or else he practically disintegrates. Although he's built up a real nice tan due to all his time spent outside working on the bounty and other various projects of his.

- VERY green eyes. Very vibrant.

- Bisexual, but no specific preference. He doesn't really care for labels, so he just chose Bisexual for simplicity's sake

-Trans FTM, he/him.

-His parents were very supportive, and he was able to transition young. Nobody knows his deadname, and he's never gonna reveal it.

- AMAZING singer. He's got the voice of an angel. He just hates singing in front of people lol.

-He LOVES pastel kawaii fashion. Lots of oversized pastel hoodies in his closet.

Yeah I don't have a lot of headcanons for Jay I'm sorry :/ I never really got that emotionally attached to him, so I don't really have a lot of headcanons for our boi (Don't get me wrong I still love him tho he's adorable!!)

-----

Zane:

-----

-6'3, the tallest of the ninja.

-Very tall and slender, although very athletic build just like Kai. Think of what a marathon runner or basketball player's build might look like. That's Zane.

-Don't really have a specific ethnic HC for Zane because when I imagine him in my mind, I only really see his robot form and not his human disguise. Like, I just see his titanium robot form but human lol.

- His eyes are fuckin beautiful. Bright electronic blue, and they glow.

-Panromantic Asexual, although not sex repulsed.

-Non binary, he/they

-Autistic! His special interest is birds. He's sensitive to bright flashing lights.

-His aesthetic is very light/dark academia. He loves to wear white button down shirts with beige sweater vests.

-Much like Cole, he's a poet. He loves to write poetry in his spare time, and he loves to read his poems to his boyfriends.

-He doesn't cook because he feels obligated to at all. He just genuinely loves cooking. Cole often times will step up to cook dinner himself, but Zane always says that he can handle it, and that he would rather cook instead.

-Huge bookworm. He adores reading and would much rather curl up with a good book than watch a movie.

#nonnies #flower nonnie

[infinitelytheheartexpands]

Responses from the Opera Screencaps Captioning Quiz

Hello, everyone, and thank you for taking my quiz! I had SO MUCH fun reading your captions-- there were several times I literally started crying from laughing so hard at the amazingness of your work! With that in mind, the captions (which I will continue to add onto as more people take it):

(also, thank you to @dichterfuerstin​ for translating the German captions I got)

originally taken from: the Wiener Staatsoper’s 2020 production of Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart’s Die Entführung aus dem Serail, featuring Regula Mühlemann (center) as Blonde, Michael Laurenz (right) as Pedrillo, and an unnamed extra (left) as the Grim Reaper

Responses:

(Backstage warm-up) “ok so someone dropped the pulse”

me and my friends watching the fire burn after doing arson

Introducing the polycule to the parents

*boom* ... did...you guys hear that too?

Ma Signor !

Knight in whinging armour gone wrong, look at how he holds the egg. Polyamory with weird knight and death.

the father, son and the holy ghost are very gay

the gays meeting for brunch, 2021, colorized

chicken lady forces death and a very flamboyantly homosexual anthropomorphized pink bird to be parents of her egg (they dont want to be)

That’s just me and my friends on our night out (before covid rip)-- closest

A Good Friday night

good omens (2019)

["the pocket guide to boy/girl/mischief" meme] who's the boy and who's the mischief though????

Papageno and Papagena take their first-born egg trick-or-treating

Angry Birds - The Musical. A pig stole an egg and the bird unites with death to take revenge.

I love my bird wife

Someone got murdered during the funky chicken dance

throuple murders child and steals sibling of said child

When you and your friends have widely different tastes in literature

angel leading twink to his rightful place (hell)

draco malfoy from a very potter musical and a death eater are very much in the wrong show

What have I gotten myself into

Mlm/wlw solidarity but I’m not telling who is who

A woman stands with a pink dipshit with an egg and a reaper.

A bird-couple makes a pact with Death, sacrificing their first-born bird-child in order to bring good luck upon their unborn bird-baby

There are three types of people on Halloween:

Uh oh, I don’t think the mother hen is very happy about this...

oh god, they’ve invented seussical. It’s too early!

gay brunch

Three little maids from school are we

guys maybe if we dress gay enough we can distract everyone from the dead flapper bee in the back

those three killed a duck for her egg and are facing the conswquences.

Duck has egg with human, shocked and upset due to biological impossibility

When you bout to make a banging omelet so you invite your fellow queers

"No mortal man could pass that egg, but heaven shall repair your rectum."

originally taken from: the Salzburg Festival’s 2007 production of Hector Berlioz’s Benvenuto Cellini, featuring Maija Kovalevska (left) as Teresa Balducci, Laurent Naouri (center, in chimney) as Fieramosca, and Burkhard Fritz (right) as Benvenuto Cellini

Responses:

“In this same interlude it doth befall That I, one Snout by name, present a wall; And such a wall, as I would have you think, That had in it a crannied hole or chink, Through which the lovers, Pyramus and Thisby, Did whisper often very secretly. This loam, this rough-cast and this stone doth show That I am that same wall; the truth is so: And this the cranny is, right and sinister, Through which the fearful lovers are to whisper.” - a midsummer night’s dream, act v scene 1

"ah yes a prime specimen. see here, right in this box is our one of a kind hob goblin that can be all yours for the low low price of your soul"

what, YOU don't have a special eavesdropping chimney window?

Hänsel und Gretel plotting against the witch

man takes a wrong turn and ends up in a chimney, catches his girlfriend cheating-- closest

when you end up third wheeling the straight couple

lady cheats on her leather jacket wearing scummy boyfriend and when he unexpectedly comes home she hides the lover in the chimney

A straight girl and her gay best friend gossip about stuff idk

Idk Shakespeare?

experimental couples therapy feat. the chimney mf from mary poppins

Area Couple Inadvertently Traps Santa-in-Training in Chimney as they Attempt Rooftop Flirting

Landlords laugh over student renter's misfortune

I never asked for this

Ay yo lil mama lemme whisper in your ear

voyeurist listens to sandy and Danny from grease

Psssst! Did you hear about Susan? You won’t believe it!

lady and the tramp meets beauty and the beast?

human trafficking

And for just $30 you too could have your own tiny brick cage!

Psst I’m wearing assless chaps under this dress

A couple tortures a man in a box.

It's all fun and games being stuck in a chimney until your greasy uncle steals your crush from right above you-- okay ngl this could actually be a great Don Pasquale concept

Taking eavesdropping to the next level

Will you two stop being lovey dovey and let me out? SUMMER LOVIN, HAPPENED SO FAST— 

overhearing how people talk about you when they think they're alone puts you in the shithouse 

Does he know we can see him?

dear god, i am so fucking hungry, yall please just do whatever heterosexuals do so i can go eat a popsicle 

the human version of the trash man from sesame street is realizing that those two are going to fuck on his trash can 

Tmw you capture an angry short dude and start trashtalking him where he can hear 

Omg what if we kissed but we actually kissed the lil goblin man under us

"Remember, don't feed him after midnight"

originally taken from: the Théâtre de Capitole du Toulouse’s 2017 staging of Giacomo Meyerbeer’s Le prophète, featuring Leonardo Estevez (right, on fake horse) as Le Comte d’Oberthal

Responses:

“When I said we needed to drain the swamp I didn’t think there were people actually living there”

horse? what horse? no sir i dont know what horse youre referring to.

definitely don't have a napoleon complex going on

King stole La Scala‘s Lohengrin set

king breaks all his horses, has to use statue dragged by servants as transportation because he’s too kingly too walk

Emperor Söder and his subjects on a carnival procession

man on horse makes a big deal out of being on a horse

That’s not Zeffirelli because the horse is not alive

Who the fuck put a horse on the stage

isn't this that picture of napoleon on the horse

Area Count Thinks Citizens will be Intimidated by his Extremely Fake-looking Horse Statue-- closest

Everyone wants their turn on the giant plaster horse. Police are there to make sure everyone waits their turn.

Night out with the lads

Local royalty horrified at the state of his own damn kingdom

gay army fights different gay aesthetics-- hi author how does it feel to be the funniest fucking person on this quiz

Well at least I LOOK badass

ceasar if he hadn't gotten stabbed (colourised)

some soldiers jumped out of my kindergarten fairytale collection book to burn the don carlos flemish deputies at the stake

It’s just a model

Is that how you feel pulling up in your Honda Civic, Madge?

Someone rides a horse statue in public.

Just a normal party with the bros.

what is this, some kind of crossover episode? 

Terribly sorry for all the fuss, it’s just, that is, my horse is afraid of neck ruffles. I’ve tried to talk to him about it, but he’s—whoaaa there—he said he was a french courtier in a past life and he’s allergic to English fashion 

Horse seller, listen to me! I am riding into battle. I need your strongest horse. - We have horses at home. - The horses at home: 

All hail Incitatus the king 

we are not ripping off shakespeare’s henry viii. what the fuck. this is about lenny xi you uncultured swine, go drown in a pit of your own farts 

oh god is that hamilton 

Guy Removed From Art Museum For Sitting On Statue, more at eleven 

Gay <3

Officer: This horse... is a virgin! Crowd: *cheers*

originally taken from: the Parma Verdi Festival’s 2017 staging of Giuseppe Verdi’s Stiffelio, featuring Maria Katzarava (left) as Lina and Luciano Ganci (right) as Stiffelio

Responses:

That One kid in class

its a mEntAL BreAkDowN *final countdown but kazoo*

*record scratch* yeah, that's me. you're probably wondering how I got here-- closest

Dad keeps monologuing, teenager is done

left: all of my concerned friends, right: my emo ass having a very public mental breakdown

the demons in the corner of my room when im just trying to sleep

lady gets mansplained to (do i need to say more, we've all been there)

It’s probably an area baritone telling off an area soprano-- sorry; it’s a tenor. soprano is right though.

That was a fake horse in the last photo right?

child comes out as gay to father at a particularly bad time

dissociation solves everything

I can't believe it's not butter

Honey we talked about this

My sleep paralysis demon is Crowley from supernatural

child has nightmare of boring job

When you start dating a singer but he won’t stop practicing at night

just an average day in a hetero marriage

what do i do my wife's having period cramps again

Stop having an existential crisis. It’s time to sing!

“No son of mine will kin Gomez Addams under MY roof”

Crowley stares into space while a teen has post nut clarity.

When he wont stop reciting jordan peterson monologues!!

Do you realize how effed you are?

Ugh, not this lecture again! Dad’s Practicing For His Experimental Indie Band Again 

asking your parents for help with your own personal situation and them just ranting off about what they went through instead of helping in any way 

Will he shut up already!

no one tell him he’s yelling in the wrong direction, no one tell him plnsbdjddhdj 

this kid is tired of his dad listening to rush limbaugh (a man who claimed to be pro life but died anyway) 

Me internally vs externally 

Daddy issues

originally taken from: the Grand Théâtre de Genève’s 2020 staging of Giacomo Meyerbeer’s Les Huguenots, featuring several chorus members

Responses:

It’s the deadly eye Of Poogley-pie. Look away, look away, As you walk by, ‘Cause whoever looks right at it Surely will die. It’s a good thing you didn’t … You did? … Good-bye. - shel Silverstein

why the fuckith? my good sir, i beg of you to put your pants back on

I hate this itchy hat

Titanic Extras hear that they have to do extra hours

people waiting to board the titanic watch someone fall off the plank

pov: you’re a time traveler

guy in the flatcap is embarrassed by patriotism and pathos

No idea. For some reason Le Marseillaise comes to mind

Is this from Harry Potter?

disneyland main street usa workers on strike

local tries to hide behind Newsies cap to avoid unpleasant but inevitable conversations. meanwhile, some very fashionable ladies look on.

"Thank fuck, 2020 was just a dream after all"

“We gather here today because this bitch got exactly what she deserved” “heaven!” “Stfu Stephanie she’s going to hell and we all know it”-- not quite but this basically happens later on in the opera (and act) so yeah (except the person in question very much Did Not Deserve It)

dc movie filter on bridgerton

america?

looks like my history teacher paused the prohibition documentary again

Who still wears page boy hats bro?

Coming out to a room of people who Already Knew That

Bitches are relieved at some party.

Several drunk people exiting getting off the subway attempting to seem sober and rational but realizing they have somehow lost all of their possessions

How tf do I act natural in this situation-- closest

“do you think any of them noticed that I don’t know the pledge of allegiance” 

It's too fucking hot outside for this outfit 

?

when hyyh yoonkook ending just hits different 

pedestrians watch in horror as the triangle shirtwaist factory burns and the workers throw themselves out of the windows from a dozen stories up 

Starting the pledge of allegiance be like 

He's having a heart attack oh no oh god oh fuck

originally taken from: if I remember correctly, the Semperoper Dresden’s 2018 semi-staging of Johann Strauss II’s Die Fledermaus, with Jonas Kaufmann as Gabriel von Eisenstein

Responses:

“William Shakespeare wrote: "To thine own self be true And it must follow, as the night the day Thou canst not then be false to any man" I believe this wise statement best applies to a woman A blonde woman Over the past three years she taught me And showed us all That being true to yourself never goes out of style Ladies and gentlemen Our valedictorian: Elle Woods!” - legally blonde the musical

eat ass, suck a dick, and sell drugs

woooooorrrrd

Finally Jonas has graduated! It’s about time, considering he’s an international star.

what my professors think they look like

Prof. Dr. Dr. When someone tells him there are more than two genders

'and since you've now graduated high school, you'll be entering college etc. blablabla' .........meanwhile, there's a whole row of graduates daring each other to chug the cheap vodka one of them has brought in gallons (yes that happened at my graduation, lol)

Jonas darling baby <3-- can’t argue with that

I just realized I have no idea what the actual fuck happens in an opera

ok this one is just what jonas kaufmann always wears you can't fool me.

"as valedictorian i will share with you the importance of loving the floor"

"Yes, mother, my art degree will make me money!"

Graduation speakers are out, singers are in

Senior year takes a new meaninbg

mansplainer professor explains the concept of feminism to women

Your Prof when you finally turn in that missing assignment be like

younger boris johnson (derogatory)

jonas kaufmann retires from opera and takes up motivational speaking

What a fine graduation evening we’re having today

-70 points for slytherin you all have no swag

A man with a college hat sings.

An obviously greying actor trying to play a university student in a low-budget porn parody

How it feels to graduate high school after being held back for years

East High is a place where teachers encouraged us to break the status quo and define ourselves as we choose. Where a jock can cook up a mean crème brûlée, and a brainiac can break it down on the dance floor-

I may not have been "cool" in high school, but in ten years you will all be working for me!

I finally got my GED!

that one guy in ur intro to cultural anthropology class who mansplains to the professor somehow fucking graduated

he;s just graduating and taking his speech too serously idk

Graduation speeches with that one dude who got held back 3 times

Smrt

originally taken from: the Metropolitan Opera’s 2011 staging of Gioachino Rossini’s Le Comte Ory with Joyce DiDonato (left) as Isolier, Diana Damrau (center) as Countess Adèle, and Juan Diego Florez (right) as Le Comte Ory (disguised as a hermit)

Responses:

There is something very [disturbing grunts] About polyamorous couples - polyamorous, Chris Fleming

jinkies

femme fatale (including to herself)

I’ll have a threesome soon !

Hot guy walks by, everyone swoons.

thirdwheeling friend does not realize the other two are having sex

When your girlfriend had „just two beers“ again

jesus is exasperated about having to drag the two ladies towards doing what he needs them to do instead of purple dramatically declaring suicidal intent over the smallest trivial matters and red being equally dramatic about declaring that it's not the way! stay alive! i love you!!

The throuple is thriving

Get off the milf

orgy

my last three braincells because im a horny slut

countess receives too much love and is confused on how to react

Rasputin's lesser known romp with a much older czarina of russia

Woman's soul leaves body

Jesus and co. are worried after another woman gets pregnant without having sex

bisexual looks at photos of celebrity couples

When you go to the party to socialize with new people but your weirdo friend group starts getting clingy

Jesus cumming

one of those weird church christmas pageants but everybody's drunk

What have I done

Hozier??????????

Jesus assfucks some purple lady being hugged.

This time, the chick IS the magnet

An affair/threesome gone awry (2019 colorized)

What do you mean they canceled GLOW?

“I TOLD you it was cashmere!”

Are you wearing the - - The Gucci dress? Yes I am.

It's not what it looks like!

jesus is fucking that one cheerleader who grew up to be a suburban mom with one (1) super cool dress she stole from her kid who is desperately hugging her middle begging for it back because the spring fling is coming up and jason might actually make eye contact with her for more than three seconds.

jesus and mary magdaline and some other bitch

I’m at a bar and these drunk girls are flirting with me, do I lOOK GAY?!

Shrek 5, jesus's return

c. 2025 First attempt of an Officer and his Wife with a Handmaiden (colourized)

just about all of these are close lol

originally taken from: the Bolshoi Theater’s 1993 staging of Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky’s The Maid of Orléans, featuring Nina Rautio (left) as Joan of Arc and Vyacheslav Pochapsky (right) as Thibaut d’Arc

Responses:

Don’t look, I’m still pooping

yall, the audacity of this man. he fuckin talked to me

*i can't even tell you how wrong you are* *it would be insulting to ME*-- closest

Cospeto!

„No I’m not talking to you, you keep cracking bad jokes!“ - „But I got another!“

when you’re mad at him but he says he’ll buy you food if you cheer up

When I’m wallowing in self-pity but my friends won’t comfort me

right: wanna fuck ;) left: yeah, fuck OFF lmao

Her face is screaming “don’t tell me what to do”

Yeah I got nothing

gay man tries to hit on a lesbian bc he thinks she's a twink. she's not amused but she's watching this happen anyway

me tired of MET's bullshit and them organising a Netrebko, known blackface apologist, a recital during Black History Month. (sorry im still fucking salty lol)

"stop smiling at me like that I'm trying to pout over here"

"I got fleas, you got fleas... wanna fuck?"

I have the best idea!

Haha nooooo don’t hit me with that bat you’re so sexxyy

lesbian is bothered by dilf

Me trying to flirt

if call me by your name was hetero and set in america

how many more dad jokes can i take before i explode

So. You’ve gotten yourself in a little pickle again.

What if we fought in the Russian revolution together ✨???????... unless??

Two people flirt in a poor place of town/

"If you ask me what I've got under this dirty, shapeless tunic one more time I swear to god I will kick your rotting teeth in"

You look like ur gonna kill me but ok

Really? You again?

Okay, I’ve been sitting here for 20 minutes, do you think it’s safe to—oh god, he’s still there.

Have you seen Godot?

she is tired of everyone’s shit. she has done so many derivatives it physically pains her to see a variable. dont test her. ur icarus rn.

idk pick better pictures-- I HAVE DIED THE SHEER AUDACITY AND HUBRIS I LOVE THIS

200% done with your crap 

Homeless man has fucking legs of steel n is gonna show off his Russian dance moves

originally taken from: the Théâtre de Capitole du Toulouse’s 2019 staging of Paul Dukas’ Ariane et Barbe-bleue, featuring Sophie Koch (right) as Ariane and I don’t remember who the person on the left is rip me

Responses:

The knight who wore this into battle sure was swaggy

dear god its hiddeous

Capitalism

Knight in shining armour gone even more wrong.

ghost contemplates the safety of spiky motorcycle helmet

„Stop! He feels bullied!“

'this is my newest take for jesus's crucifixion crown ...... what do you mean they already put him up'

That’s probably a really expensive magic helmet idk. IDK-- closest

Omg I love the adventure zone!

minesweeper (windows xp)

"Okay whatever you do don't touch the shiny spiky ball" "It's so shiny I wanna touch it"

Taking down the trash way too late

IT'S NOT A PHASE MOM

Darth Vader got stuck in the freezer.... again. Leia isn’t happy

Star Wars 2030

“And here is the very latest in motorcycle helmet trends” “Look, I only came to the mall for a pair of socks “

futuristic kkk

long-suffering jewelry store attendant really wants to retire

Put it down put it down put it down

“Hmm no you should see a doctor about that”

A weird ass crown is presented

The creation of sars-cov-2: an experimental Eurotrance nightclub art piece gone horribly wrong

How it feels to want something that u cant have

AND WE WILL CALL IT—SPIKE MAN actually do you think that’s too obvious?? Because of the—yeah, because of the spikes?? See, that’s what I’m worried about. I want it to be SCARY

I know it's risky but... lube me up

?

use the force luke.

that is a weird fleshlight

When you get an ugly gift and need to find a way to get rid of it, so your family member/friend offers to smash it

Touch the orb

originally taken from: the Opera Vlaanderen’s 2019 staging of Fromental Halévy’s La Juive, with Nicole Chevalier (left, with bottle) as Princess Eudoxie, Enea Scala (center, under table) as Prince Léopold, and Roy Cornelius Smith (right) as Éléazar

Responses:

When no one comes to your birthday party :(

fantastic, day 487 of mischief and they have yet to find my masterful hiding spot

i really wonder who he thinks he's playing footsie with

Marriage crisis. Reason sits under the table-- closest but not in the way you think (after all, the man under the table IS a tenor).

the last supper afterparty after jesus left

When you order the last supper on wish

espionage at the Politischer Rosenmontag

Probably the wrong opera but is that Leporello under the table

Now THIS is a Good Friday night

this was every birthday party i went to between the ages of 5 and 11

that awkward moment when you drop your fork under the table but when you re-emerge everyone else has left except one drunk lady and the guy trying to deal with her

After the last supper

Tfw you arrive to the dinner party too early and have to hide until a more fashionable hour

When the cishets aren’t home

waiter hides from customers

Nobody: My dog every time I’m eating:

what's left of the homies Jesus had dinner with

university chem lab experiment gone terribly wrong

I’ve been under the table FOR 30 MINUTES

Set your friends up by tossing them off under the table, they’ll think it’s each other n fall in luv

Someone hids under a table

"You're about to see an surreptitious-under-the-table-dick-sucking master at work"

5 yr old me trying to eat the desert under the table without my parents finding out be like:

They never invite me to their parties!

Just another girl’s night in

Oops! Didn’t notice you the table.

dionysus - bts (2019, colorized)

just a normal episode of eric andre (eric is the one under the table)

Just a normal day with the boys

Thievery

originally taken from: the Théâtre de Capitole du Toulouse’s 2017 staging of Giacomo Meyerbeer’s Le prophète, featuring Kate Aldrich (left, surrounded by women in white) as Fidès and John Osborn (center, looking like a Jesus doppelganger) as Jean de Leyde

Responses:

Hold up, is that Eggman above Jesus?

holy disco

Looks like Tannhäuser. Our lord and saviour Richard Wagner. Now I need to be saved from that.

catholicism

me defending pineapple on pizza (THANK YOU)

jesus but hes about to be abducted by the alien ufo above him

Emmmmmmm Heaven? Idk

Lord of the rings?

ewww christianity gross

"behold, I am Important"

"Seriously?? It's not ACTUALLY pyjama day? Fuck you guys!"

Jesus at the Disco

Jesus Finds The Molerat People Who Live Under Bethlehem

disco is heaven

Want to join my new religion?

the kkk

church christmas pageant where everyone's sober but it's based on the director's fever dream

Am I the only one who sees the giant demon? Just me? Okay...

“Oh god I think I’m starting my period”

A party is held with a priest in the middle

"Let's get this secret Vatican sex party rolling!"

The new avengers endgame set is looking great!!

You know, guys, I try not to be a bother but...I can’t help but feel like I missed a dress code memo for this wedding??? It’s cocktail, right??”

Jesus visits Hogwarts

I must really stink if no one will even come close to me

the extra ass funeral i DESERVE

star wars life day

A cult at it’s best-- closest

Shrek 5, Jesus is still there I guess

originally taken from: the Royal Opera House, Covent Garden’s 2013 staging of Giuseppe Verdi’s Les vêpres siciliennes, featuring Bryan Hymel (left, standing) as Henri, Lianna Haroutounian (center, kneeling in the black gown) as Duchess Hélène, and Erwin Schrott (kneeling to her right) as Jean Procida

Responses:

When the director’s like “great rehearsal guys, just a few notes before I let you go” but it’s already 9:13 and your mom’s waiting in the parking lot

loyalist of subjects

bow before your queen

They forgot to take down the stage boxes after the Vienna opera ball but the show must go on.

somebody forgot to book chairs for this funeral

Me sharing God’s (Hayley koyoko) word on the discord server

mass execution bc the oboe solo sucked ass-- closest

That’s too many black suits I can’t see shit

I can’t even tell what’s going on here

8th grade school assembly about how it's uncool to shit on the walls at school

let's all get fancy so we can go to the opera and sit on the stage (idk this one's hard lol)

"Yes i am a time traveller, now don't freak out"

Tfw you forget to pay your lighting bills

White guys make decisions that will benefit them and screw someone that’s not a white guy over-- OUCH but that is too real (although not really in context here)

dead man gives speech at his own funeral

brotus and the boys ??? last meeting before the stabbing

high society social function ends in mass murder-- right opera, wrong scene

Someone walks into the talent show stage with a dog

Black-dressed bitches worship a man.

Worst school assembly of all time

POV:You're the window in the classroom and someone said "its snowing"

When the conductor shows up fashionably late to the orchestra concert

That's what you get for choosing the cheapest ticket option, get back in the mud where you belong

?

theyre just trying to jump into a grave at a funeral leabe them alone this is normal

oh my god he really whipped his dick out in front of everyone, this is just like in 1776 guys, except some women are actually in the room this time,

A funeral, stop wearing so much black

I want to slap their bald heads like rice

originally taken from: the Teatro Real Madrid’s 2018 staging of Gaetano Donizetti’s Lucia di Lammermoor, featuring Roberto Tagliavini (right) as Raimondo

Responses:

Crowd “haha!! Looks like someone missed the all-black memo!! Now it’s laugh-in-your-face time! / Guy on the floor (whispering to guy against wall): go, save yourself! I’ll hold them off...”

if i leave now i wont be a witness and can tell the police i had no idea

it was the best of times, it was the worst of times

Guy in the back pretends to help but is to far away to even know what’s going on.

priest walks in on beginning of an orgy, contemplated joining but is too scared-

when someone brings up capitalism but you’re just trying to play minecraft

lol lets trample this guy while the judge isnt looking

Again. Too many black costumes

Loved this Dostoevsky novel

i would know if opera directors were more creative with clothing choices ngl

me on parties lol

"imma just sneak out of here while everyone else is distracted"

"Where did he get this flooring!? Amazing!"

Everyone act normal!

The tell tale heart but they got REALLY drunk

man tposes to ward off vampires after being caught undercover

boys ???? night

the priest really shouldn't have visited the insane asylum-- closest

He’s FINE everyone’s been hit by a car before

Something happens in a room.

Perks of being a wallflower

There's always that one person in the fight whos trying not to get involved when they really wanna

Oh good, they’re all posing for a Rembrandt painting, I can just sneeeeaaak out the back here...

The gamer livestreaming Resident Evil + everyone watching the stream ? waiting for him to open the door just knowing it will trigger a chase scene

Quick!

the guy t posing in the back is regretting his every decision.-- also accurate

the us senate jumps ted cruz, some other wack ass gop senator is trying to sneak away

...I spoke too soon, however this is a James Bond mission

Queers help fellow queer do math but it's a struggle

#opera #opera tag #results #screencaps #captions #caption #caption this #caption contest #this seems to have gone over well and I am Pleased

[grimbeak]

I'm hungry for some bruise

Do you have some headcanons you wanna share?

Oooo yes 

Despite the openly clingy one usually being Jay, Cole is STARVED for affection. If Jay hugs him Cole will not let go until several ribs have been broken. Usually Jay takes ab 30-45 minutes to get out of bed after he's woken up cuz Cole hugs him in his sleep. 

They usually go on dates to Fritz Donnegon movies (though Cole finds it a bit weird that this guy is Jay's dad, Jay doesn't seem to mind), but sometimes they go to quieter places like the park to have picnics. 

Honestly, Jay didn't even know he was bi until he met Cole. That's... honestly all I need to say about that. 

Cole probably realized he liked Jay when Lou came over to visit once. (I hc that Lou is that kind of dad who just goes "well maybe you haven't met the right girl yet" and he definitely tried to set Cole up with girls before he ran off. He's getting better, but... Still.) Lou was making some comment ab how Cole and Nya have some nice chemistry, and Cole just got fed up, grabbed Jay, pulled him over and kissed him on the freakin lips right in front of Lou. ...Jay only had a mild heart attack. Cole realized "wait kissing Jay was nice... SHIT" *gay panic intensifies* 

Cole had feelings for Jay during the whole l*ve tri*ngle thing but didn't quite realize. 

Nya knew the whole time. So did Zane. Nya stepped back from dating Jay (also pretty lady skylor make heart go brrr) to let the idiots figure themselves out. Zane cheered on from the sidelines. 

They will CONSTANTLY compliment each other and call each other nicknames, even in battle. Especially in battle. Makes for some... very interesting fights.

Seeing Jay lose it in season 9 really hurt Cole. It was like his boyfriend was there, but also... Not. 

You just. You just don't wanna know about Jay's reaction once Cole fall in s10. It was bad. 

Cole thought Superstar Rockin' Jay was very cute. The cult thing was a bit much though. 

Jay is very proud of his boyfriend for figuring out more of himself and his mother. ...Kind of makes him sad he'll never really know what happened to Libber, though. ((TOMMY GIVE US LIBBER BACKSTORY IN S14 OR U DIE))

#bruiseshipping #ninjago #jay ninjago #cole ninjago #headcanons #they're gay your honor #My head hurts send more ninjago asks #Any kind

[truthisgoldenau]

IT'S PRIDE MONTH

for a moment there I accidentally had Pierce's photo under Marian's name oop

Time to officially confirm some AU canon LGBT stuff! Each character is their own pride flag but I'll add in other stuff that's canon in universe plus some bonus stuff at the bottom.

First up is Freddy Fazbear Jr! Gay all the way.

He's definitely the "move I'm gay" type

Was honestly super freaked out to tell his dad but went with the bold approach of bringing home his first boyfriend and blatantly announcing their relationship as such as a challenge and was honestly surprised his dad wasn't bothered by it

He was around 13 at the time and so the twins and Fred were still in touch with Maddie's parents and brother. All three were incredibly supportive (and still would be)

He absolutely had a crush on Bonnie Burnette even though he had never talked to him. Since the twins and Bonnie went to the same high school he knew of Bonnie, thought he was a dreamboat, but because Bonnie was somehow in with the popular kids (it was the money 100%) Freddy didn't even bother

Frankie Fazbear! My ace son! (The ears are wrong blame the app lol)

Honestly doesn't even know he's ace until much later

He's had crushes before but he's never been in a relationship (part of it is the attempt to communicate since he's mute sort of stops him)

He wasn't even sure it was worth mentioning to his dad so Fred never knew

This boy can hold so much love in his heart but he's not a very physical person that's all

Fred Fazbear Sr! YES. HE'S BI.

Only Maddie even knew he was bi. That he knew of. Some people probably figured it out with his over the top always on personality.

Fred was constantly sure that Pierce picked up on it particularly after the Christmas mistletoe fiasco but if Pierce gave a shit he never said anything.

Frankly it was amazing that more people didn't pick up on it. He was over the top about everything until a point.

While he didn't overreact to his son very blatantly announcing he had a boyfriend, he was very proud of him. It was a very Fazbear family way to come out. Even though he got so distant, he was always proud of his boys.

Bonnie Burnette! Also bi!

Being constantly surrounded by the popular crowd and always being the sort of stand out with purple hair and stupid purple bunny ears didn't do much to make Bonnie feel like he could even tell anyone he was bi.

Really the only reason he was even in the popular crowd was he was rich.

It made him less of a target for bullies at least cause the jocks wouldn't stand for anyone messing with him.

Knew Frankie from math class and honestly wished he could have talked to the quiet kid with bear ears as an alternative to the entirety of the popular group

Sort of in the background of the AU story very quietly develops a crush on Freddy and then thinks "oh God I like the troublemaker NO"

Chandler Cicily! Lesbian!

Would absolutely describe her sexuality as "girls"

She's starting to discover it during the AU (even if it's not a topic that comes up but that's why there's this post about stuff lmao).

She's the baby of the group since she's 16 when the story starts and relationships aren't important to her yet

But the crew still support her when later she's like "maybe I just wanna bake things for a cute girl and let her put flowers in my hair is that too much to ask" (Marian always chimes in with "mood")

Marian Mengele! An absolute bi icon!

Listen, her one goal in life may be to find her lost childhood friend, but that doesn't mean she's solely interested in this one Irish redhead

That said she's definitely only dated redheads

She's not afraid to be open about her orientation. It doesn't bother her. She's seen as weird already what can it hurt.

That said she falls for Finn so goddamn fast when she finds him that she questions herself and then is like "no wait I'm definitely not straight"

She's very upfront with Finn about it. There's no reason to hide this from him (or anyone) and if they're a thing she wants him to know.

Finn being the wonderful human being still loves her and it doesn't bother him. Why should it? He's just happy to be with someone who loves him.

Chetana might be Chandler's fake big sister but Marian is like fake mama when it comes to Chandler finally coming out.

God bless Finn for being the kind of person to sit and let Marian braid his hair with flowers because that's one of Marian's favorite things to do when her partner has longer hair and Finn's never really bothered with keeping his hair short THESE TWO ARE ICONIC I love them

Pierce Graves! A shitty pansexual icon

First off he absolutely knew that Fred wasn't 100% straight he had no idea how it wasn't immediately obvious to everyone

That said Pierce literally did not give a shit who knew about his sexuality

As shitty as his whole personality was he could turn on the charm easily

His parents definitely knew but he was already a punk ass rebellious teen at the time so they have him the "be careful, don't get anyone pregnant" talk and worried from afar. If it bothered them, Pierce never knew because they made sure that he could still count on them (even though at the time Pierce didn't really talk to them much about anything)

Fred absolutely knew though I mean they were good friends

He's not a romantic. He's never really had a meaningful relationship because he's not that type of person. To be honest, there's a piece of him that saw relationships that worked and wondered how that would feel but he knew that wasn't for him. He figured that out way early on when he asked his granddad why he didn't have a grandma and Mortimer Graves didn't sugarcoat the answer. "She wasn't happy with me. I gave her the choice. She could stay and be miserable with my lack of a decent personality even though I was already struggling to not be such an ass or she could go and find someone who actually made her happy. She chose happiness, and while it sucks that she drifted out of my life and your dad's, she's better off."

Pierce could frankly always tell that he was more like his granddad and as much as he sometimes wanted to know if he could even out up with a meaningful relationship, he avoided it. Better to not hurt anyone and wonder than to become the catalyst for someone else to overcome, right?

Fritz Smith! Gay!

The shy bumbling mechanic of the early 90s Freddy's ? Gay? It's more likely than you think

He was still far in the closet in the 90s He was young, living at home still because he had just gotten out of school, and while his parents weren't super conservative, he also didn't know how they'd take it

Found a friend in the day guard Mike Schmidt early on. Mike was looking for a roommate since his last one had moved out and Fritz jumped at the chance

They are like totally boyfriends by the time they cameo in the story though

Mike Schmidt! Another gay icon!

Mostly invited Fritz to live at his apartment because he felt bad that this poor shy mechanic was getting constantly harangued about the animatronics having problems

Was glad to let Fritz complain about it and even cry it was very stressful but Fritz needed the money

Mike liked him. It would be hard not to really. Fritz was a sweetheart.

Mike didn't ask him out till much later though he wasn't quite sure that Fritz was gay and didn't want to ruin their friendship.

Luckily it didn't and as it turns out they worked well in a relationship.

Fritz's parents had to take some time to get used to it when finally Fritz got the nerve to tell them but as soon as they did there was no end of support from them

Mike's parents were the opposite which was mainly why he already lived by himself but oh well he got a cute boyfriend and cool parents-in-law later it was kind of a win

Daniel Hartford-Dunn! Gay!

Presenting Maddie's older brother!

outside universe fact, he's loosely based in my actual cousin who lives in California with his husband.

He's 7 years older than Maddie was. Despite that, they were still close. Maddie's parents wanted more kids but struggled to get the two they had.

He's an accountant for a corporation and his boyfriend (and later his husband) is a pilot.

Last time he saw his nephews in person was at Maddie's funeral. He misses them terribly but over the years less and less contact came from his brother in law

Sometime in 2006 though he ends up getting a call from his nephews and there's this great reunion.

He's just. This chill older guy. Who loves his family. And doesn't care what people think.

Since I can't put anymore photos, here's the bonus content!

-as mentioned last night Dr. Phillip Guy is on the ace spectrum. I don't have anymore details about that at the moment unfortunately.

-Charlie Emily is a lesbian. The Emily twins were born in 1980. They haven't appeared in the AU yet even as cameos but they exist. Considering in AU canon the Emily family is alive and well in Hurricane, Utah without an Afton to be found, Charlie's dating her childhood friend Jessica at around the time the AU events are happening.

-Sammy Emily is trans and bi. Both Henry and his wife (who I know I at one point named but don't remember what it is anymore) love their two daughters to pieces.

That said I'll make a post at a later point introducing the Emily family because so far I've only officially given the design for Henry and not the rest.

In line with canon, Spring Bonnie/Springtrap can be counted as gay.

While Fred kept the shows at the diner pretty simple and straightforward, there was definitely this subtle underlying idea that Spring Bonnie and Fredbear were a content gay couple although if asked it was easy to present them as friends. At least, that was during '81-'82

However!

Fred also had Henry help him program in a special one time only song called Springtime for his and Maddie's anniversary in 1983, which was of course a love song. Fred always thought of that as being mostly for his wife, and partially as a turning point thematically for the two characters.

Henry was on board with this. They still kept it subtle, but there were clear moments where it was pretty much certain that the only way to interpret Spring Bonnie and Fredbear was as a couple. It was either so subtle that no one was bothered or Spring Bonnie's chosen voice was so ambiguously non-binary that no one thought it was odd.

Fred had plans for it to become more "canon" but never got to implement them since Spring Bonnie got damaged before he could.

Springtrap, being sentient and able to later interpret his emotions, is very confused about how he as a machine was meant to feel about this character he knew but the more sentient he becomes the more aware he is that he misses Fredbear and that he loved him. It's the cause of a lot of internal conflict for him. But he can be counted in the category of LGBT characters in the AU.

Happy pride month ya'll! 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈

[el-gilliath]

A Little Reminder That I'll Never Forget This directly follows Cold War. And Alex is very angry at Kyle. Very. Angry. Other than that, Welcome back to the continued adventures of Cowboy and Reporter Manes

Also on Ao3 if someone prefers to read there. And as always is this dedicated to @lsobelevans. Love you <3

He doesn’t have it in him to be mad at Maria, even though he’s fairly sure she knew that Kyle was the doctor Super’s were using when their healer(which by the way is pretty cool) isn’t there. She doesn’t know everything, just that they had a falling out. He never wanted to tell her, so she would keep her friendship with Kyle. 

And she did, by the way he moves around the backroom as if he’s used to being there, fishing out equipment, gauze and plasters as he needs them, moving things easily aside to get to deposits of medical gear Alex wouldn’t know was there if he didn’t see it. 

It’s eerie, watching him. Like a blast from the past he doesn’t know if he’s comfortable with. Especially when it comes to a Super. To Cowboy. 

He still remembers Kyle talking to him in the hospital, about a month after he lost his leg, telling him that his obsession with Super’s was unnatural. That they were unnatural. And here he is patching up one. 

And not just anyone, the one Alex will admit having a rapid pulse for, if he’s being honest. 

“Alex? You okay?”

He feels more than sees Kyle freeze at Isobel’s question. After 25 years of being best friends he doesn’t need to see Kyle’s reactions, he knows them in his core. 

“I’m fine.” He wait until Kyle is looking at him. “Though I’m curious how you found this guy.”

“What?” Maria asks puzzled. “You know how we know Kyle.”

“Yeah, I do. How long have you been working for my dad, Kyle?”

He should’ve expected the commotion that follows that question. Maria gapes at him, Rosa swears in Spanish, and Influence steps in front of Cowboy with a truly impressive flair of her cape, her lips curling up into a snarl. Kyle just stares at him, before he moves his gaze back to what he can see of Cowboy behind Influence. 

“What is he talking about, Valenti?” Influence asks as Kyle takes a step towards Cowboy. She’s in protective mode, something Kyle obviously recognizes. 

“Alex thinks I betrayed him two years ago and sides with his dad, after he lost his leg.”

“Think? You told me Supers and vigilantes shouldn’t be allowed on the streets, that they were blights on the earth and I was stupid for defending them!”

“You lost your leg, Alex. Lost it for a vendetta your dad had against you and everyone else that supported vigilantes. I told you that so you would stop hacking and get out of trouble. Instead you turn around and run head first into it at the Times!”

“Did you really expect me to just give in to my dad, Kyle?” He asks. He knows his voice is low, dangerous, too much like his dad for him to be comfortable with. But he doesn’t care, he’s too mad. 

“Well I hoped, Alex! But can we can this discussion so I can take care of my patient now?!”

Isobel’s eyes slide over to him. He doesn’t know what to tell her, but he also knows Cowboy needs medical attention. He nods, and Influence steps back. Thankfully Kyle wastes no time in moving to Michael and looking him over. 

Alex just watches him, taking in how gentle he is with Cowboy, how he murmurs and explains as he moves along, regardless if Cowboy can hear him or not. Kyle moves like he always does, professionally and quickly, patching Cowboy up where he can and leaving the long gash in his shoulder alone. 

“You need to get Electrobuzz to heal that up, there’s not much more I can do with what I have here,” Kyle tells Isobel as he cleans the gash. It’s obviously made by a knife and explains why Cowboy was trapped, Alex has seen his powers fritz out when he’s been hurt before.

“Wait, Electrobuzz? He’s your healer?”

“He is,” Isobel replies, glaring daggers at Kyle who has the decency to look slightly shamed. “You weren’t exactly supposed to know that.”

“I’m not gonna tell, I still call him Writer, remember?”

“Oh yes, the name he picked himself. To bad Electrobuzz fits better.”

Alex can't refute that, Electrobuzz does fit the lightning based Super better. But he gets all pouty if no one calls him Writer, which is what he wanted to be called, so Alex does him a solid and calls him Writer. He hates when the Super’s are upset, New York usually suffers for it too. 

“Look, I’m sorry, I didn’t realize that Alex didn't know since he seems to know everything. But Cowboy is fine for now, so you should all let him get some rest,” Kyle says, and Alex can’t help but look over at Cowboy. He’s lying on the backroom table, seemingly sleeping peacefully. “I’ll monitor until Electrobuzz gets here.”

“No.” The answer is so quick out of his mouth that he has trouble remembering he said it. “I’m not leaving you alone with him.”

The room quietens, as they all turn to look at him. Everyone besides Kyle. “Alex-“

“You think I’m gonna leave you alone with someone you told me you despise? Not happening, Kyle.”

“I’m a doctor, I wouldn’t hurt him!”

“Maybe not, but I still don’t trust you. I’m not leaving you alone with him.” He sees the hurt bloom in Kyle, in the way his shoulders tighten, in the way his arms tense. He refuses to feel bad for it, even when Kyle’s eyes meet his and he can see just how much Kyle tries to hide that he’s hurt. But that’s the problem, Kyle could never really hide anything from him.

“I’ll stay with him,” Influence says. “The two of you need to have a chat.”

“We don’t.”

“Yes, Alex, you do. Kyle has been the doctor everyone goes to for over a year, and you’re the reporter everyone turns to.” Influence strokes her hand lightly over Cowboy’s curls. “The vigilantes trust both of you equally, do not make me tell them they’re all wrong. I will not like it.”

“Alex, let me explain. Please?”

He doesn’t want to. The thought of being alone with Kyle after the last time makes his skin crawl. It makes his anxiety flare, it makes his insecurities rise, it makes his muscles tense. He’s spent far too much time making everyone believe he doesn’t have anxiety or insecurities or tensing muscles to let Kyle Manuel Valenti get the better of him.

“Fine. But in the bar, right now I don’t want to be alone with you either,” Alex answers, turning to walk out the door before he can change his mind. “Maria, you mind if I take the good tequila?”

“Go ahead honey, you know where to find it,” she says as he walks out the door. He doesn’t check to see if Kyle is behind, he just enters the bar and fishes out the half-full Patrón Añejo Maria keeps hidden away just for him. He knows Maria and Rosa followed him into the bar, but are staying in a booth so he and Kyle can have some privacy while they talk. 

He does get Kyle a glass as well when he sees that he has indeed followed; Kyle’s taste for good tequila is as legendary as his own. 

He might be pissed at Kyle, but he’s not a douchebag. Well. Most of the time anyway.

“Talk, Valenti. You have until the end of this bottle.”

He doesn’t expect Kyle to start talking straight away, and he doesn’t either. Instead Alex watches as he takes a shot, then another. He gets it, he would be nervous too if he was Kyle.

“I’m sorry.”

Alex takes his own shot, and refills both his and Kyle’s glass. “Why?”

“I don’t know Alex, because I hurt you? Because I made you believe I agreed with your father?” Kyle takes a deep breath. “Because I acted like a douchebag and lost my best friend. And now you don’t trust me because of it.”

“Can you blame me? I had just woken up from a coma Kyle, I just lost my leg and here is my best friend, the doctor I needed to support me, telling me that I was a stupid obsessive idiot! I was in pain, I was broken by my father, I didn’t need you fucking me over too!”

“I was trying to protect you, Alex!” Kyle yells back. “You almost died on a crusade to get back at your dad, the only reason I said that was so you wouldn’t go running off again!”

“Fuck you, Kyle. You know nothing about my dad.”

“The fuck I don’t Alex, we grew up together, of course I know.”

“Do you?” Alex asks incredulously. “Do you know he beat me almost every day since I was 12 because he wanted to beat the gay out of me? That he forced me into training scenarios specifically designed to make me puke and bleed whenever I so much as looked at a guy?”

He takes a deep breath. “That he hates the ground I walk on and has told me to my face that he wish I was dead?”

“Alex…”

“I needed my best friend Kyle. Instead you betrayed me.”

“I didn’t-“

“Yes, Kyle,” Alex interrupts. “You did. To me, that is exactly what you did.”

“I was scared, Alex.” Kyle pauses, and Alex has to strain to hear his next words. “At least by pretending to side with your dad, I knew you were going to survive.”

“I didn’t survive. I floundered, I cried, I was so depressed I couldn’t get out of bed. If you call that surviving, then we have two very different meanings of the word.” He takes a shot, then refills his glass and does another one. “I didn’t start surviving again until Arturo gave me the job at the Times. That gave me meaning, hope.”

He looks Kyle directly in the eyes. “You didn’t.”

He knows he’s being harsh, he knows telling Kyle all of this probably hurts him. But Kyle’s motto has always been ‘Do No Harm’. He didn’t keep it so right now Alex is going to say whatever he wants too. Though he is secretly glad Kyle isn’t having any more of the tequila, should something happen. 

“I thought I was doing the right thing.”

“Did you? Or did you let my dad get into your head? You wouldn’t be the first,” Alex replies.

“How the hell can you ask me that?” Kyle asks, eyes finally burning with a responding anger. Good. “I might not know everything that happened in that house and everything he did to you, but I know enough to know that I should never listen to him. I told you, I was scared.”

“So you thought you would use my dad’s tactics to get me to stop.”

“Yeah.” Kyle exhales angrily. “And that was my mistake, I get it. But you didn’t have to just drop me either!”

Alex stills, turning his head slowly and cocking it slightly sideways as he looks at Kyle. He sees the way Kyle freeze, knows he recognizes it. It was a move his mother used to do when she was angry, a move he’s done since he was a teenager. Another reason for his father to hate him.

“Shit, Alex, that was not-”

“Drop you? You think I dropped you?”

“No, that’s-”

“You walked into my room, told me that I should stop whatever I was doing against my father, told me to stop helping vigilantes. Do not tell me I dropped you.”

“I know, Alex. I know. I just...” Kyle pause, takes a deep breath and meets Alex’s eyes straight on. “I thought it would blow over. I figured I would give you some time and then call and talk to you. I didn’t think I had screwed up that badly until I tried to call and my number was blocked. Until I tried to text you on WhatsApp and I couldn’t. Until I noticed you deleted me from Facebook. That’s when I knew how angry you were and that what I said to you might have done more bad than good.”

Alex stays silent. The last of the Patron is in his glass, he can feel the alcohol swimming pleasantly in his belly, his anger still there but sated, for now.

“I’m sorry,” Kyle says. “I’m really sorry, Alex. I didn’t mean to hurt you, and if I thought you wanted me to I would’ve found you and apologized before this. But I’m fairly sure you didn’t.”

“You’re right. I don’t know if I want your apology now,” Alex replies, taking the last shot. “But I will accept it.”

“Thank you. And I… I don’t know if this means anything to you, but I was so proud when you got the job at the Times. Like maybe you finally found a place you could call home, away from your dad. At least I hope you did.”

He inclines his head towards Kyle, more of an acceptance than he wants to vocalize right now before he turns and walks back to the backroom, giving Maria and Rosa a slight smile as he walks past. He knows they’ve been listening from the smiles they direct his way. He just wants to be back in Cowboy’s presence, hurt as he might be. Seeing him still alive will help calm him down, maybe even make him feel better. He hears Influence’s voice as he nears the door, opening it with a flourish of the slightly tipsy in the good way.

He does not expect to be met with 6 feet of Electrobuzz leaning over Cowboy with a glowing hand. His outfit is understated as it always is, blue jeans and a brown leather jacket over his shoulders, his brown mask that matches the jacket on his face. There’s a pen lovingly stitched into the upper arm, the official symbol of The Writer. A smaller lightning bolt is on the collar of the jacket, probably sown in after people started calling him Electrobuzz.

“Alex Manes, meet Electrobuzz. Electrobuzz, Alex Manes,” Influence says, a bored tone in her voice as both men freeze. The glow in Electrobuzz’ hand fizzles out as the man looks over at Alex, his eyes narrowing and posture straightening.

“What is he doing here, Influence? And it’s Writer, please.”

Influence scoffs. “You and I both know the love and adorance these two have for each other, is it really that surprising that he’s here? And I told you, I needed him to get Cowboy out of the warehouse. Besides, he knows who I am.”

“He knows?”

“Don’t get your panties in a twist, we’re not here for that. Now can you please put your glowy, healing hand on Cowboy?”

“Influence-”

“Please.”

Electrobuzz clenches his jaw, but the glow in his hand resumes and Alex takes a step forward but is shortly stopped by Influence.

“He knows what he’s doing.”

Alex swallows hard, but nods, trusting Influence and Electrobuzz with this man that has become so important in his life in a short amount of time. Electrobuzz gives Alex a tight nod in return, as he puts his glowing hand over the wound on Cowboy’s shoulder. It’s a tense few seconds before the glow intensifies, Electrobuzz yelling as the light bulb in Maria’s backroom shorts out. It takes everything Alex has to stay still, a little because he wants to check on Cowboy, a little because the healing is fascinating. He can see the flesh on Cowboy’s shoulder knit together, even through the glow. 

He’s even more fascinated when Electrobuzz moves back, the glow dying in his hand but a glowing handprint stays on Cowboy’s skin, the man gasping awake a few seconds later. Influence has moved over to Electrobuzz, helping him sit down as he breathes hard, a look of nausea on his face. 

“If you could refrain from getting hurt in the future, that would be super, Cowboy.” The dry tone from Electrobuzz makes Alex snort, as Cowboy groans on the table. 

“Come on man, it was an accident.”

“I’m sure it was. But going into that area without backup was still stupid. 

“Stop fucking preaching, man,” Cowboy says. “You’re making me look bad in front of Alex.”

Electrobuzz huffs while Influence just shakes her head. Which is when Liz Ortecho, scientist and little sister of Rosa, bursts through the door and goes over to Electrobuzz as soon as she sees him, running her fingers through his hair. 

Cowboy grumbles about how he’s the one being hurt to which Liz just gives him the stink eye . “We were on vacation and had to come back because you got hurt. I’m allowed to be a little angry.”

Alex just watches them as they bicker back and forth. It’s interesting to watch for many reasons, one is that he never really gets to see Cowboy interact with anyone but criminals. But it’s not what interests him the most. Because if Liz is here, running her hand through Electrobuzz’ hair in that loving way, that means Alex knows who he is too. 

“You know, Writer, it’s a little hypocritical of you to get mad at Cowboy for being where he was when you’re a Super in the NYPD.” He sees the way Electrobuzz freezes, sees Liz turn around and stare at him in shock, sees Influence cough to hide a laugh.  “I should’ve know, if Isobel Evans is a Super then it’s not that strange that her brother is one either. Though I always thought you were such a goody two-shoes, glad to see I was wrong, Max.”

Electrobuzz slowly relaxes, shaking his head as he exhales roughly. He takes off the mask as Liz gets up from the floor, her eyes still wide. Max’s brown eyes looks up at him, his teeth practically grinding together. Alex only raises one single brow at the sight. Which makes Influence snort as she too removes her mask, Isobel’s green eyes meeting his a second later. Only Cowboy still has his mask on, which Alex doesn’t blame him for. It’s not time yet.

“I shouldn’t be surprised, you were always too smart, Alex,” Max says, his jaw unclenching and a wry smile coming upon his lips instead. Alex inclines his head, accepting the compliment. It’s not often anyone besides Liz Ortecho gets a compliment from Max, backhanded or otherwise.

“Don’t worry, I won’t tell your secret either.” Alex smiles at him. “But I am gonna leave you alone. It seems you have things to talk about.”

He throws a salute at Max and Isobel, who both huffs at him. Liz just grins and mouths call me. Cowboy watched him with a soft smile on his face, nodding in both a thanks and goodbye as Alex turns around and walks out the door. He grins to himself as he hears Isobel laugh loudly and Max groan as the door closes.

—————

There’s a note on his desk when he gets into work the next morning. It’s a phone number, and written underneath is

Call me ;)

Cowboy

And underneath that is an H.

#fic:vigilante au #roswell new mexico #malex fic #malex #alex manes #michael guerin #isobel evans #maria deluca #rosa ortecho #max evans #kyle valenti #liz ortecho #influence - isobel evans #electrobuzz - max evans #cowboy - michael guerin #malex au #hints of maria/rosa

[displacedprincess]

Willpower || Elena & The Gargoyles

@carvedfromlivingstone

Backdated: January 19th

Summary: The gargoyles smell a change in Elena’s hormones, Elena weaponizes a loaf of bread and calls bullshit.

ELENA

“Felipe! Raf!” Elena called out, practically kicking the door open to Goliath’s. “Where are you bitches at? I’m gonna fight you!”

This, of course, was said in the same playful tone she used when she threatened to kick Naomi, Isa, or even Goliath’s ass. No asses would actually be kicked, however, her little gargoyle brothers absolutely owed her five quid or a Chippamunka’s milkshake each. 

“I told you that guy Maru was crushing on was gay!” Elena exclaimed, doing a little happy dance. “As a bisexual, my queerdar is spot on. I have been deciphering the sexuality of humans a lot longer than you kids have. You’re welcome.”

GOLIATH

As all of the gargoyles were currently in the kitchen, none of them saw her come in. They all certainly heard her, and Goliath simply grinned as Raf and Felipe both groaned. 

“Bite me, princess, we already agreed he was probably gay,” Felipe yelled back, grabbing an orange slice and preparing to throw it at the older girl when she came around the corner. Cesar reached over and snatched it up first, tossing it in his mouth while giving the younger gargoyle a look that said ‘Don’t you dare’.

“But that’s good to have it confirmed, right Maru?” Raf said. Ever the peacekeeper, that one. Maru, of course, had his face practically glued to the screen of his laptop and had missed all of this.

“You’re just in time, joya,” Goliath called out. “Lunch is almost ready.” He gave her a smile as his daughter stepped into the room, leaning in to press a kiss to the top of her head in greeting.

He stopped midkiss, eyebrows furrowed.

Wait. He couldn’t possibly- she wasn’t- was his nose on the fritz? Was this a side effect of aging?

Cesar had caught his bewildered look and Goliath motioned down to Elena with his eyes. ‘Smell her’ he mouthed. It’d be good to have confirmation.

“Oi, no greeting for me?” Cesar grumped while giving Goliath a subtle nod.

ELENA

Elena grinned at the gargoyle she now affectionately (teasingly) called abuelito when he was acting particularly like an old man, and launched herself at him. “I could never leave you out, Cesar!”

The princess was, of course, oblivious to the eye conversation going on about her. 

“Papá, what’s for lunch?” She asked as she pulled away from Cesar. 

GOLIATH

With her attention diverted, Cesar sniffed at the princess’s hair and gave Goliath a similar wide-eyed look to the one he’d been wearing not a moment before. Shit. It wasn’t just him.

Felipe had picked up on the two elder gargoyles eyeing each other and gave them both a questioning look. Cesar dismissed him with a wave of his hand while Goliath kept Elena distracted.

“Aggressively Scottish food, I promise you’ll hate it,” he joked. Just act like everything was normal, Goliath. Be cool.

“Princess, come sit by me and we can throw stuff at Maru until he looks up and you can tell him about his crush,” Felipe ordered, pulling out the bar stool for her and ignoring Cesar and Goliath’s glares. When Elena got close, he ruffled her hair up just enough to be annoying and so he could smell her over the cooking food without getting too close. 

His eyes also flew open and he looked back at Goliath and Cesar, mouth falling open. They silently told him to shut his trap.

ELENA

“Ooh, sounds fun! I never realized how fun having three little brothers would be.” God, fucking with the boy’s was the best. Thinking nothing of Felipe’s request, she sat next to him and began to peel an orange to throw slices at Maru. 

She shot Felipe a glare as he messed up her hair, only half as annoyed as she looked, then tossed a slice into her mouth. Only to immediately spit it out. 

“Ick! Aw, man! Every orange I try to eat lately is nasty.”

GOLIATH

"Just recently, huh?" Felipe asked, and Cesar kicked him under the table hard enough that the younger gargoyle went stiff to try and keep in his yelp of pain.

Raf had seen all of this go down, and while the curiosity was killing him, he didn't want to get too into Elena's space. While Elena was distracted with trying to distract Maru, Raf looked at Goliath meaningfully and pointed to Elena under the table before gesturing with his open hands. The universal sign for 'What's wrong with Elena?'

Goliath turned so his back was to Elena and his side was just in view of Raf, appearing to be checking on the food cooking away. But instead he was tapping a hand against his lower stomach with wide eyes. Raf's eyebrows furrowed in confusion. She's…. Hungry?

ELENA

“Moon Market must not be able to get good batches in right now.” Elena added, pouting. She did so love oranges.

Not to be dissuaded from distracting Maru, however, Elena quickly stood up and scurried over to him. She threw her arm around his shoulder and put on the greatest show of her life. 

She gasped, horrified, and pointed to his screen. “Maru! I am scandalized. I’ve been in a German dungeon, and that is not what they look like.”

GOLIATH

Maru had actually been working on a program he'd been tinkering with. It wasn't much, but he was hoping to set up something that could be used to keep the remaining gargoyle clans around the world in contact so long as they had access to the internet (and these days, who didn't?). He had not been paying attention to the silent conversations going on around him, to the rest of clan bouncing Elena around like a scented teddy bear.

He was not aware there was anything to hide.

Which was why when she shocked him out of his trance and he took a sharp breath to snap at her for being a brat, he stopped, sniffed again, and said blunty "Why do you smell pregnant?"

"Elena's pregnant!?" Raf gasped as Felipe and Cesar both smacked their foreheads with their open palms. Goliath looked like he wanted to dangle Maru and Raf both off his roof by their ankles. While the sun was up.

ELENA

Maru’s quip shocked Elena into genuinely gasping, dumbstruck at the notion that she would ever be-- 

“Oye pendejo!” She shouted, picked up a loaf of bread in its little bread plastic and, wielding it like a club, smacked him with it repeatedly.  “I’m going! To kick! Your ass! If you ever! Spread some bullshit like that around! Understand!?”

She beat him a few more times with the bread for good measure before tossing it in Felipe’s general direction. “Goliath, you need to buy bread.”

GOLIATH

Well, life with Elena was certainly never boring. She even managed to catch Cesar and Goliath off-guard, and that was nearly impossible.

"Oi- hey!" Maru yelled, ducking and covering his head. "Stop hitting me you crazy princess!" he barked in Gaelic, wishing more than ever he had his wings to protect him. Raf was the one who rushed around to stop her, grabbing her hands and gently pulling her away. He was the last one to get a sniff of her, and he could recognize the weird smell of a woman who's hormones were all over the place. There had been enough human women at the castle when he was growing up that even he could recognize the smell.

He looked at Goliath, panicked, which was when their dad finally stepped in. "Don't beat your brother with a loaf of bread, Elena," he said, though his voice was a little too soft to be properly scolding. "What Maru means is your scent is… different."

ELENA

Elena was not finished with Maru, oh-ho-ho, no. For saying something as idiotic as why do you smell pregnant, Maru deserved a proper ass beating. How can he say that!? After the pregnancy scare she had while Mateo was in the underworld that she never told anybody but Naomi and Goliath and Mateo about, that Maru’s ignorance of if entirely his own fault, that he should definitely know about despite Elena never telling him, how could he say that?

“Let me at him before I bite your hands off, Rafinha!” Elena growled in very colloquial Avaloran Portunhol, reverting to her truest native tongue in her rage.

At Goliath speaking up, Elena stopped struggling against Raf and looked over her shoulder at Goliath. “Previously unsaid sentences in human history.”

She flipped her hair over her shoulder and crossed her arms over her chest, glaring hard at Maru before she turned to properly face the rest of the clan, rolling her eyes. Pregnant. Seriously, Maru? 

“Yeah, well, that’s not a very funny joke. Especially after Halloween before last.”

GOLIATH

“What happened the Halloween befo-” Felipe started, but Goliath silenced him with a wave of his hand. He did know what had happened, and knew how frighted Elena had been. 

This was… not going to be a fun week for anyone.

“Mija,” he said gently, taking one of her hands from where they were crossed together and holding it in both of his own. “I think we need to see your doctor.”

Six out of six gargoyles agreeing was all the confirmation Goliath needed, but Elena needed a human doctor as well.

ELENA

Elena was not pregnant. She refused to be pregnant, and therefore she wasn’t. The great pregnancy scare of 2018 took any last shred of ‘I will tolerate pregnancy’ out of her. So, no. Her fatigue, nausea, and super light periods that were absolutely periods and not spotting, did not mean she was pregnant. Because she couldn’t be pregnant. Because she refused to be. Therefore, she wasn’t.

She stared at Goliath with a look of betrayal, because how dare he entertain that she would possibly be- and she just stared at him for a long moment before she shook her head and laughed.

“Gargoyles have a crazy sense of humor, this really isn’t funny. No, nope, I’m not. I’m not pregnant, I’m on birth control.” That she doesn’t ever remember to take. “And Mateo uses condoms.” Usually.

“I’m not stupid.” Elena insisted. “I’m not stupid.”

GOLIATH

No, she wasn’t. But she was pregnant.

Felipe opened his mouth, but this time it was Cesar who glared him quiet. Unfortunately, Maru was out of range. “Six gargoyles smell baby on you, yes you are,” he said, still annoyed to have had his work interrupted. Raf leaned over and punched him - hard - in the shoulder. “What the hell-christ!?”

“He means pregnant, not stupid, by the way,” Raf added, trying to help and failing. “You’re not stupid.”

The look Goliath gave them all was unimpressed to the highest degree. “Okay, none of you are allowed to talk anymore,” he told them as he gently ushered Elena to the living room, away from the rest of their tactless family. He sat on the couch and nudged Elena down next to him.

“I wouldn’t joke about this,” he said softly.

ELENA

Elena sat next to him only because she was twenty-five years old, which was far too old to petulantly refuse. One could also say it is too old to beat your brother with a loaf of bread, but Maru had had it coming.

She shook her head, she’d deny this even if it killed her. “I’m not pregnant, I can’t be. I refuse to be, and if my body betrays me like that right now I’ll - well, I can’t death threat my own body, can I? The same energy remains though.”

She pulled her legs up onto the couch and wrapped her arms around her knees. 

“I don’t want to be pregnant, so I’m not.”

GOLIATH

That’s really not how it worked.

Goliath could only exhale long and slow through his nose, rubbing Elena’s back gently. “Then go to the doctor and prove us wrong,” he offered. “I’ll go with you and you can rub it in my face immediately if you’re right.”

If Goliath was right - and he was - then he’d be on hand to comfort his daughter. 

ELENA

Elena really didn’t see why they were sooooooo sure she was pregnant. Like...she was a human! Maybe they got the scent markers all mixed up because they’re different species. 

Yes, yes that was it. 

But you know what, fine. She’d humor her old man and the rest of the gargoyle clan, and go to the doctor. And prove them wrong. 

“Fine.” Elena held up her hands in surrender. “It’s okay, I can go by myself. If I’m pregnant — which I’m not — you don’t want to be the person who came with me to find out.”

She checked her Apple Watch and sighed. “If I leave now I’ll have time.”

GOLIATH

Actually, he did want to be there, because he knew Elena’s reaction wouldn’t be a calm one, but he also wouldn’t pressure her. Instead, he leaned in to kiss her forehead and stroke back her hair. “That’s my girl,” he said warmly. “I’ll pack some food for you to eat on the way. And text me later, alright? I’d say call, but I’m probably going to be busy kicking some sense into your brothers so I may not reply.”

(If Goliath heard a hissed ‘Shit’ and three sets of footsteps bolting out the kitchen door as softly as possible while Cesar snerked, then he didn’t point it out.)

ELENA

She nodded, now a little concerned that maybe Goliath was right. Wait, what? No, don’t think like that Elena. Will it away, will it away. 

“Yeah, I’ll— I’ll text you when I get the good news.” That she’s not! Pregnant! That her uterus is STILL not on the market!

Elena stood up and before Goliath did, turned on her heel to kiss him on the cheek. “Te quiero, Papá.”

#goliath

[lenin-it-to-win-it]

rabbit tour!

i just made a “shelf” so all my stuffed animals weren’t crowded on the windowsill and i used this as an opportunity to take pictures of all the ones i have with me so here we go!

this is artemis, a majestic and powerful silver rabbit with a very dramatic backstory

basically i was 5 hours away from home on a work trip and i saw her in the window of a shop BUT it hadn’t opened yet so i had to walk away not knowing if I would have time to get back to the shop before it closed, if someone else would buy the rabbit, or if i even had enough money to buy the rabbit in the first place 

the most I was willing to spend was $20, not because I don’t think this rabbit is a priceless artifact of beauty, but bc im a peasant and my job was technically volunteer work and paid less than minimum wage but ANYWAY i go on and on about this fucking rabbit to anyone who will listen, my coworkers are plotting ways to murder me that will look like an accident, but we get back to the store and the rabbits still there AND ITS ExACTLY $20 SO I IMMEDIATELY BUY IT WITH NO REGRETS BEST PURCHASE OF MY LIFE 

here are some little baby babies i have clipped to my backpack (can you tell i like rabbits???), the yellow one on top is bun might for obvious reasons

 the one in the middle is technically unnamed but i call him sergeant pez bc hes a pez dispenser and he was in one of my dads old military trunks for like a million years until he was cleaning them out and gave him to me 

the light green one is the newest addition, her name is mochi and shes so fucking soft you guys its like petting a delicate cloud 

these arent rabbits but theyre still valid so shut up, the black cat is named agugu (short for akutagawa) bc i was into bung/ou s/tray d/ogs at the time 

the panda in the middle was a gift from my roommate and her name is monochrome because i have another panda back home thats purple and her name is. purple. so i wanted to stick with the theme here

the white tiger is named at2shi after atsushi (from b/ungou st/ray d/ogs again) who can turn into a white tiger but also i already had ANOTHER non-white tiger that was named atsushi so this one is at2shi 

more wild thangs that arent rabbits!

the elephant is слон or “sloane”, слон means elephant in russian and it’s kind of pronounced like the name sloane so it’s a very deep complex and intellectual name, clearly. слон is a puppet that shrieks like the souls of the damned when you squeeze him and he was a gift from my high school russian teacher because i would be Blessed with the duty of making слон scream at students who were speaking english in class, he’s a good comrade 

the tiger is atsushi, im sure you can figure out his deal based on at2shi, i got him at the zoo and hes lovely

the red panda with the minnie ears might have had another name at some point but during my regrettable b/s/d phase i started calling him chuuya and it stuck, also now i put my minnie ears on him bc his head’s the perfect size so im more or less using him as a hat rack which is very on brand for chuuya actually

the purple sloth staring into the camera (and your soul) is gasloth leroux and i won him at dave and busters after re-reading phantom of the opera

(last batch of non-rabbits)

the bear in the snazzy tunic is radar, he was originally my mom’s as a baby and she gave him to me as a baby and since i dont intend on spawning im hoarding him forever #life hack 

yall better know who fucking kermit is 

aannnd we already went over слон in the last picture so! back to the rabbits!

welcome to the purple corner, friends!

the little all purple one in the back is sukie, and she is just baby, only little creacher, nothing can change that, she was a gift for easter i think two years ago now 

the purple and white rabbit with the pink nose laying next to the cardboard shapes is named violet and her fur is very soft and lovely but she has some kind of hard panel inside (she moves, maybe? idk) so not exactly optimized for cuddling, still shes a good girl

the hulking googly eyed purple yarn monstrosity is roundy blumbo and he was handmade by my terrible but talented sister @rattypants​

most of these are new arrivals because walgreens has easter rabbits out and some of them were literally only three dollars so yeah but anyway

the grey one with the pink bow is named toshi after all might (i got him about the same time as bun might so b/nha heavily owned my ass at the time) and hes absolutely perfect for cuddling, very soft and long

the blue one is named bluebell the second or “twobell”, when I was younger I had a really tiny blue stuffed rabbit named bluebell that i would take everywhere but one day i dropped it somewhere in or around a ymca and lost it forever and i literally did not stop crying for two whole days because of it, bluebell the second is a spiritual successor who hopefully wont get lost 

the one that looks just like bluebell the second but not blue is marshmallow, bluebell the seconds identical twin brother who was also 3 dollars because literally, THREE DOLLARS

the one with light brown fur and orange ears is named gingersnap carrot cake because I liked both names and couldnt decide and since i bought him around the same time as bluebell the second and marshmallow, he’s their mischievous older brother and together i guess that makes them the rabbit mcelroys 

now the round rabbit next to toshi with the floppy ears and a smaller rabbit with a green dress on its back is rose and bunnia, the larger one is rose, the mother, and bunnia is her daughter, they have a very close relationship as you can see

the small white and brown rabbit next to rose and bunnia is spenser, named after edmund spenser, creator of the spenserian sonnet, bc i bought her at a renn faire and thought she should have an old timey name, shes a literary icon 

now we’re getting into the old guard! all the rabbits in this picture (aside from carrot cake gingersnap whomst is a SLUT FOR ATTENTION) are all ones i got between the ages of 6-10, so theyre my day ones uwu

the brown rabbit with floppy ears is mocha, she was a christmas present when i was 9 years old and shes probably the most rabbit-shaped rabbit i have 

the rabbit with the bright pink scarf is beatrice (i dont have favorites except actually i do and its beatrice), I got her when i was 7 years old from goodwill and one of her arms was kind of loosely connected and started falling off which Horrified me and i tried to “take care of her” by using a bit of ribbon as a sling, eventually my grandma sewed her arm back on so then i used the ribbon as a scarf and ever since then beatrice has had a scarf of some kind  

the rabbit next to beatrice with the black button eye is wrinkly pinkly, who lost her eye in the warTM (it fell off years later but she claims to have lost it in the war anyway and shes old so everyone just goes along with it), shes very loose and as the name implies, VERY wrinkly which makes her fun to wiggle around 

the bright pink rabbit with the wide head is anna, beatrice’s mom and wrinkly pinkly’s sister, her husband griffy is back home so i dont have a picture of him but their story is very enemies-to-lovers (they were on opposite sides of The War) and shes a very ambitious and powerful figure in rabbitopia despite having hundreds of kids to raise #feminist icon 

the light pink rabbit with the yarn dress is madison, ironically named long before i even remotely knew that madison, wisconsin was a place that exists, and shes beatrice’s younger sister and shes very active and athletic but she also likes being pretty which is why i made her the yarn dress

cottontail (he doesnt actually have a tail) is the town drunk and a constant nuisance, his wife left him so now he’s always hoeing around and causing trouble for everyone (which is also what he did Before his wife left him), one of his legs is more filled than the other so he walks with a limp. his wife took most of the children except

darnell (the long pink rabbit lying down), who inherited her dad’s troublemaking tendencies and loves playing pranks and talking shit 

(last one, for all the zero people who are still reading at this point)

next to cottontail we have aminta in the green dress, i bought her at the airport and shes a very beautiful and distinguished young rabbit who madison is ABSOLUTELY gay for, she’s very proper and is being brought up by

hera nova (the white rabbit with the pink nose and floppy ears in the back) who is the oldest rabbit i have (Ive had her since i was at least 5, though she didn’t get a name until i was in my greek mythology phase a few years later), shes sort of a grandma to all the other rabbits and could absolutely destroy them all if she wanted to 

karoline (yes with a k, i didnt know the kardashians were a Thing back then) is the yellow rabbit with the basket, she works at rabbitopia’s most popular restaurant, the spinning carrot, and she is one of the three main chefs along with her sister 

bonnie, the pink rabbit with only one ear, she got torn up pretty badly over the years but shes still alive and still spinning those carrots!! (there was a third rabbit that worked with them named fritz who was white and holding an easter egg but i don’t remember what happened to her) 

so there we go! rabbits! lots of them! 

#rabbit tour! #there are More but i dont have access to them rn

[lycanguts]

CALLOUT POST FOR A PAST ABUSER/MANIPULATOR

So this is definitely not my usual type of content, I don’t like causing unnecessary drama but this is inexcusable. It's probably weird seeing this in a fandom tag but these are his main interests and if it could be boosted in this communities it might save some people.

Tumblr user @yucee is a terrible person both in how he acts and how he treats other people, he’s manipulative, quick to deflect blame and never takes responsibility for his actions. As if that wasn’t bad enough he's also a pedophile.

This post will not only contain my testimonial but the testimonials of two others who also met him.

This one is a doozy but I recommend reading it, I want as many people as possible to see his true nature (especially anyone >22 years old).

I would like make it known that he loves to play the victim in any scenario regardless of whose fault it actually is (most of the time it’s his however, he has a real hard time accepting blame for anything).

While my trauma is not as severe as others who have come in contact with him he ruined what was supposed to be a fun weekend with my friends as well as our first meeting which should’ve been something amazing.

Unfortunately I deleted our conversations on Discord as I didn’t think when I did I would be making this type of post, thankfully his tumblr messenger is still open to me as well as a few text messages post-meetup. Most things that revealed his true nature were said during voice chat so most of these messages are only a small glimpse at what an awful person he is.

My Testimonial:

Hello my name is Anthony, I'm 22 years old and I had met yucee three years back when we had a mutual friend. While we didn’t have much in common he seemed like a nice enough guy and someone I’d like to befriend. We had similar tastes in pokemon as well as similar music tastes, and while we had known each other for three years we hadn’t really talked consistently until mid 2017. It was around the latter half of this year that I had developed feelings for him and after a few weeks of hesitation I asked him out and was excited when he said “yes”. Had third been months ago I’d say our relationship was a good one, he accepted me for who I was and I was just happy to find another trans guy with no interest in anything sexual.

However looking back now I realize not only was Yucee extremely self centered but he made sure to link me to his “coping” fic every other day expecting me to read he one sentence he had added while when I would send him my art it was a 50/50 chance I would ever receive good feedback if any at all (his comments were either “cute” or “gay”, sometimes he would just ignore it altogether).

Did I mention he also invited himself to the convention I attended this summer? Around mid March I had planned on asking him as I was going to test the waters and see if by describing my con experiences it would be something he would be interested in attending possibly next year, however as soon as I brought up I was going to a convention he chirped in with “I want to go too!”. He was excited, I was too, and we soon began to make plans to meet each other. During this time let me point out how he would say things like “are we going to be around your friends the entire convention?” and “since you always get to see your friends can I have you to myself?” And “next year, if you still like me then, I want to go to MTAC, just you and me I don’t want your friends there.” And other things of this nature. At first I thought he was just joking around but it became evident to me after the fact that he was becoming extremely possessive of me to the point he was already picking out what costume I would wear for MTAC. Not only this but when he learned me and my friends had already planned a cosplay group he became upset because we were dating so we should’ve had matching costumes. Again this was mid March and the convention was early in early June, I had been working on what costumes I had since December. He was dead set on cosplaying persona characters and while I liked persona I didn’t think I’d have enough time to throw a costume together. Eventually he seemed pleased enough I’d be cosplaying Akira Fudo while he cosplayed Akira from persona, but he still complained that me and my friend were acting more like a couple than he and I were because I had a matching cosplay with her, “we’re boyfriends we should be matching he’d say”. Again, my friends plan our convention going experience well in advance, Yucee had pushed himself into our plans and was upset that nothing was going his way 100%, and that reflected in his behavior at the convention (we’ll get to that shitshow soon enough).

So it’s planning time, we have a few months, I tell him what kinds of things he can buy in the vendor hall and he starts buying his costumes and he estimates he’ll be able to save at least $800 of his SSI checks up to the point, but him being the impulsive man he is he had barely $300. He didn’t even buy his own ticket, he had spent all of his check from May on even more akeshu prints and costume stuff so he didn’t have enough to pay for a preregistration ticket (these closed on may 31st), so I offered to buy his ticket if he paid me back when I came to get him.

When it came to the issue of how he was going to get to my home I of course offered to drive him as long as he helped with gas and such.

Many, many times I assured him I would come and get him, I even had my car worked on just so I could be confident it would make the trip, but every so often he would say things like “I shouldn’t even be planning this, none of my plans ever work out.”

Every time this came up I assured him that it wouldn’t be an issue, while I had never made a trip this long by myself before I was more than willing.

Whenever I picked him up he gave me $50 for gas when he should’ve given me $150 ($100 for gas there and back, $50 for the ticket). But if we wanna get technical he also owed me an extra $50 on top of this, money he said he’d pay me during the convention (he didn’t). I had bought him a pair of shoes for a costume he didn’t wear (because he was too busy wearing my Guzma shoes) and two face products he used twice but stopped using after it didn’t work fast enough for his liking.

The $50 he had given me however was money he had guilted his dad into giving him, his dad couldn’t meet me halfway because he had stomach issues and was worried he wouldn’t be able to make the trip, which I was fine with, but he had told me he would ask his dad for more money from his monthly check because it was “his [dad’s] fault” I would have to drive the whole way. Also when I first was introduced to his father he introduced me as his boyfriend when I had made it VERY clear that I wanted to be introduced as only a friend, so he outted me without even considering my feelings.

For most of the car ride back he complained constantly about the heat, I had warned him my A/C was on the fritz but he continuously brought t up ever few minutes that he was hot. It was a four hour car ride.

As for the convention itself I will condense it to bullets because there’s a LOT to dive into.

June 7th (Day Before Con)

-I had warned him that he would have to come to work with me when he stayed at my house, since he was unaccustomed to waking up early I offered to wake him twenty minutes before I left (8:00 AM). The moment he woke up he didn’t wish me a happy birthday, the first words out of his mouth were “what are we doing for breakfast?” When I offered him one of my protein bars he made he comment how that wouldn’t fill him up and how he needed something with sodium, he then proceeded to try to get me to cook him a can of soup. This was five minutes before I was supposed to leave to pick up my friend/coworker. I made him a peanut butter sandwich because peanut butter is filling and added a bit of salt because salty peanut butter is good. He didn’t even finish the sandwich, handed it back to me with two bites out of it and continued to complain about being hungry until lunch time.

-When my friend was talking about how shitty her parent was Yucee responded with “if that was my dad I would just stand up to him” without realizing that my friend’s parent is verbally and emotionally abusive to her, unlike his dad who I assume just doesn’t coddle him like his mom did. He would say often how his dad was a terrible person and then turn around and say he couldn't wait for his dad to get a settlement (which he intended to give Yucee a good part of). His dad is also accepting of him and supportive of him to the point he even is helping fund his T shots/top surgery. When I told him that my friend's parent was not his father he immediately fired back with "Oh well you can't compare suffering."

You're probably wondering why I referred to my friend's parent as her parent as opposed to her "mother", well about that...

This is in his about. We’ll get into this later.

-We’re short staffed at work, he offered to help. He refused to do litterboxes because of the smell, it took three times of asking him to sweep for me to eventually hand him the broom to sweep, he proceeded to wildly rock the broom back and fourth saying he didn’t know how to sweep, I then asked him to do dishes since he didn’t know how to sweep (he didn’t do the dishes).

-Asked me if he could wear my new pair of shoes because he didn’t have the foresight to pack a comfortable pair of shoes that weren’t for a costume ; whined when I said no because as I said these were my new shoes and a birthday present, continued to complain about how much his feet hurt in my old pair of work shoes I lent him.

-Did I mention he constantly stated that the government pays him to not know anything, and that was one of his many excuses on how he didn’t know how to do even simple tasks like sweep? Other excuses were “I didn’t know that” or “I’m autistic I can’t help it” or “I’ve never done this before.”

-Went into a frenzy when my friends went over a couple of aisles in a very small dollar store, “you guys were going to leave me!” he growled. We assured him we wouldn’t do that countless times after this, this would not be the first occurrence.

-we arrive at my Dad’s house where we would be staying for the convention. Yucee’s frantic squeaking of a toy he had caught the attention of my sister’s lab puppy, thinking Yucee wanted to play he grabbed the toy with his mouth earning a scream followed by a backhand from Yucee. He never apologized. While on the topic of animal abuse: Yucee is extremely neglectful of the three cats he owns. One is covered so badly in flea bites and scabs chunks of his fur are missing and the table on which they eat was covered in vomit and old food, plus they don’t have a litter box so they have to go outside to use the bathroom despite him living near a busy road. Yet he continuously says he wants more cats.

-Whined that his wig didn’t look -exactly- like the picture and proceeded to throw it on the ground, no one noticed him do this as we were busy with our own things. He came out after about a minute and shouted at us “Did no one see me throw my wig down?!” When my friend Seth apologized and pointed out we were all busy he verbally said “sigh”.

June 8th (Day 1 of the con)

-morning time, we’re all getting dressed in our cosplays, Yucee takes the longest despite having the simplest costume and demands that we show him how to apply makeup/put on a wig, after showing him a few times already the night before. he also asks us to do the tasks for him, including putting on his makeup and even partially dressing him (made someone put on his suspenders for him without him even trying beforehand) “I’ve never cosplayed before.” he would say. His outfit was a shirt, pants and a pair of suspenders, he wasn’t even wearing his wig.

-as for my birthday present from him: in the vendor hall he buys me three tiny buttons, $1 each, two buttons that have lgbt+ pride things on them, both of which I can’t wear in my daily life. He also buys me s hat that he didn’t ask if I wanted, especially since the only kind of hats I wear are baseball hats. You might think I’m just mad that I didn’t get presents I wanted, I’m usually the thought that counts type of guy, but he made it quite clear what he wanted for his birthday that was a month away while we were in the vendor hall, he kept making remarks how he wanted a commission done of his favorite persona character, he wanted multiple commissions, and he made it clear he wanted me to buy them. He still hasn’t wished me a happy birthday.

-me and my two friends have had a few pictures of us requested at this point , Yucee gets angry that no one recognizes his Ryuji cosplay and how no one had asked for a picture. Thirty minutes after this exchange someone asks for his picture, he declines saying he’s a “disgusting gross frog man”. Soon after he again complains about this issue.

-complained, constantly, every five minutes it was either asking me when we were going home or how there were no persona cosplayers (there were, plenty) or how he was so nasty and had to go home and shower/wash his clothes (he showered at least three times a day).

-pulled me away from activities with my friends because he wanted me to take him home to shower/wash his clothes (where we were staying was roughly 20 minutes from the convention center and it took him thirty minutes each time).

-straight up insulted cosplayers because they didn’t pick the outfit he liked for the character they were portraying or said he didn’t like the costume because they were acting “too straight”.

-got jealous because me and my friend were “acting more like a couple” than me and him were. My friend and I were Pipimi and Popuko from popteamepic, canonically they are girlfriends and the most my friend and I did was hold hands while skipping and playfully call each other “darling”. I didn’t want to hold hands with Yucee, I didn’t even want to touch him.

-reason I wouldn’t hold hands or even touch Yucee? He had broken many of my boundaries in a short span of time, while it was was wrong of me to not communicate this to him he still continued to push when I was visibly uncomfortable. A ten year friendship had lot less boundaries than a three year friendship/seven month relationship (that I had just met in person two days earlier). Yucee would constantly rub his hands over the back of my neck, he would constantly slap my arm and eventually did it in for me was when he snuck up behind me and angrily slammed his hand on my shoulder because me and my friends had “left” him. I nearly had a panic attack before I realized it was him. He never apologized.

-would go into a frenzy if my group travelled ahead without him, even if we were in sight and only a few feet away he would cry about how we were leaving him behind. Every time I assured him we wouldn’t leave him and he could call me should we get separated.

June 9th (Day 2 of the con)

-Morning routine similar to day one, complete with him still making someone else do his makeup for him

-Said “not all of us having living mothers” rather annoyingly when someone was complaining about their mom. This person didn’t know Yucee had “ptsd” and wasn’t even talking to him but rather to my friend. He sounded more annoyed than about to have a panic attack, he even said what was supposed to be his trigger word.

-Did have a “breakdown” however because we walked a few feet away from him, we were still in eyesight, he didn’t even attempt to keep up with us. Went to the nearest booth where he knew he’d get sympathy, a booth that he knew was run by someone’s MOTHER. Made the comment afterwards that he wished she would adopt him.

-Tried to guilt me should I be thinking about breaking up with him.

-Constantly says that he should’ve never of come and how he just wants to go home, even asks if I or my grandma can drive him home on day three.

So the convention dance party rolls around, which is basically just a clean rave, I’m hyped because this is the first time I’m actually going to break out of my comfort zone and attend it. Yucee wanted to go to as he said he had always wanted to see what a rave was like, the moment we step in he goes to sit in the corner by himself. I told him I’ll come check on him every few minutes, I left my phone with him to prove that would come back for him. A few minutes pass and I go to check on him, he says he’s going outside the door for a second to get some air, so I think nothing of it. I see that they’re selling light up face masks so I had to run to my car to get cash, a trip that’ll take me about ten minutes. I tell my friends where I’m going and that Yucee said he’d be right outside. Halfway on my trip back from the car I’m alerted that my friends can’t find Yucee. I start to panic and practically run back to where the dance party is, I meet up with my friends and we split up to look for him. It doesn’t take me long to find him because I look in the area where he said he was going: outside on the balcony. I look around and there’s a lot of people out there, none Yucee, but upon further inspection I see he’s all the way on the other end of the balcony where no one else is. I lose it because he didn’t tell anyone he was going over there, we all assumed outside on the balcony meant with the rest of the people taking a break, not wedged in a corner out of anyone’s sight line. That’s when I decide it’s time someone has a talking to with him. I ask my friend to tell him why what he did wasn’t okay while I go grab a cup of water, when I return to them my friend makes it clear it’s my turn to talk to him. That’s when I decide to break up with him, not because of his “break down” but because of his disregard of anyone else’s feelings that weekend. While I was considering it I was going to think it over after the convention and make my decision in the future, he twisted my arm for the last time though. 

-Yucee blames my friend Boo for the reason we broke up despite me clarifying that it was 100% my decision

-Also blamed her for being the reason he had a breakdown, because she didn’t coddle him like everyone else. Didn't even bother to apologize for the two breakdowns he had caused her, when I brought it up he would always go through me to do it.

-so after I gave him my two cents I let him stew in a safe space while I tried to enjoy the remainder of the day with my friends (it was 12 am at this point and the con center closed at 1 am). We went to the game room (which I told him about) and not ten minutes go by he’s spamming me with texts and calls to tell me this is why he has “trust issues”.

-We get home and he goes immediately to bed without a word to any of us

June 10th (Final day of the con)

-Stayed in my dad’s basement all day by request, barely paid me half of the convention ticket money he owed me because he had spent it all on merch

I didn't hear from him all day, didn't even acknowledge us when we returned to start packing up.

-when we arrived at my home after leaving my dad’s he locked himself away all night, I didn’t see him until the next morning when I drove him home. (which he didn't provide me gas for, didn't even say one word to me).

I was lucky that my friend Boo tagged along when I took him home because she is one of the best friends I have had or will ever have and despite Yucee's hatred of her he could actually learn a LOT from her about being a good person.

I did have some contact with him post convention which is outlined in most of these messages, but for about the past month I have not contacted him out of one anon (see end of this post).

So just keep in mind that when he says his convention experience was awful that he’s the reason for a good portion of it going bad, he didn’t even bother apologizing to my friends once for ruining their convention, a convention that we all look forward to a year in advance.

Now I believe my friend's deserve to have their voices heard.

Boo’s Testimonial:

(This one’s a bit messy thanks to tumblr’s image limit)

Seth’s Testimonial:

In summary: yucee aka Jamie/Mike McCarver is a lazy, manipulative, self centered man. He’s a 27 year old who acts like he’s a child and plays up his problems for sympathy, he refuses to ever take blame or apologize for anything because how could he do wrong when he’s autistic/disabled. If he ever does apologize he never says it directly to the person, rather he goes for a general apology. He also says he’s learned from his mistakes but it’s obvious that he’s just saying that in an attempt to placate those he’s wronged or save face.

He’s also known to twist words to garner sympathy, what a shocker:

I sent him an anon as bait because I knew he’d twist the words. But I never said he didn’t deserve testosterone, and he knows that’s not what I meant, by not publishing the ask he can twist the words how he likes, which he likes to do a lot.

The anon read “If you paint a piece of shit gold it’s still a piece of shit. I’m not sure what you think you learned from your experience but it doesn’t change that you’re a pedophile. You were old enough to know what you were doing was wrong, in the end you hurt someone and if your not man enough to just issue an apology to them you’re a coward and no amount of testosterone will make you a real man. Your mother and father would be ashamed.”

Oh, and don’t forget about him being a pedophile.

Yucee was/is a sexually aggressive pedophile who refuses to acknowledge that he’s mentally messed up someone so bad that it’s still affecting them to this day and doesn’t even bother to apologize to them because he thinks they’ve traumatized him too. They were 14 years old, he was 22. He seems to have made it his mission to demonize his victim when his victim has not even made contact with him in three years. He says he’s changed but continues to befriend people at least five years younger than him, while they still are legal adults it’s still creepy considering the past he’s had with younger individuals.

And Yucee if you’re reading this: Your victim has not sent you any anons, you know exactly who has because you’ve told me before you know it’s her. 

Please boost this, do NOT interact with this user to send hate, and PLEASE stay safe.

#callout #signal boost #boku no hero academia #bnha #shigaraki tomura #hawks bnha #dabi bnha #shigadabi #akeshu #shuake #persona 5 #p5 akechi #p5 akira #ghirazant #pokemon #pedophilia//

[phoenixyfriend]

asukaskerian

  asukaskerian  ...

sure, yes! :D what even is the plot like?

OKAY, SO.

Young Avengers can be split up, roughly, into five sections:

Volume 1, Part 1

Volume 1, Part 2

The Events (Civil War, Secret Invasion, and Dark Reign)

Children’s Crusade

Volume 2

Most of the cast has appearances in other things, but the main plot can be summed up as the above.

And now under the cut. I am verbose. Sorry.

V1 Pt1

Nate Richards, in the 31st century, finds out that he’s destined to become Kang the Conqueror, a time-travelling supervillain.

He comes back in time to the current era (or, well, 2005-ish), in an attempt to get some help and Not Go Evil.

He gets brushed aside by all the real Avengers, but finds the Vision’s corpse in a destroyed Avengers Mansion, and comes across the Avengers Failsafe Program. If they were to ever need a back-up team, then this was it!

The results aren’t meant to be just teenagers, but they’re what Nate finds. He calls himself Iron Lad, fashioning himself after Iron Man, reconstructing Vision partway to use the bot as armor. His new friends are:

Billy Kaplan, who calls himself Asgardian. He later switches to calling himself Wiccan, because being a gay superhero whose name is Asgardian would get him ripped to shreds by the media. It initially seems like his powers are electricity and flight, but it turns out he’s a reality warper.

Teddy Altman, who calls himself Hulkling. He’s a shapeshifter who can take on a Hulk-like form, though he keeps his wits about him.

Eli Bradley, who calls himself Patriot (after Bucky Barnes’ original alter ego, I think), a supersoldier whose grandfather was Isaiah Bradley, aka the Black Captain America. Isaiah was either one of the few survivors of the rounds of testing that the Serum underwent before Steve Rogers took it, or he was one of the few survivors of the experiments to recreate it after Steve went down, depending on the backstory. Either way, Eli’s got a chip on his shoulder about how African-Americans are treated by the government, including a short issue where he’s mentioned giving a school presentation on the Tuskegee experiments.

They try to do some superheroics, with varying results. The newspapers dub them the Young Avengers, and Jessica Jones, a reporter at the time, goes looking into them.

They try to save a church full of wedding guests, because the happy couple is Very Rich and everyone’s getting held hostage. They set the place on fire by accident, and have to be helped out by one of the bridesmaids. It’s not a great night for them.

Bridesmaid’s name is Kate Bishop! She doesn’t have a superhero identity yet, but she’s pretty good in a fight, and she’s the one that Cassie Lang finds.

Kate and Cassie find the boys at Avengers Mansion, and get the backstory. Cassie finds out that all the Pym Particles she was stealing from her dad (Scott Lang, one of several people to be Ant-Man) since she was in the single digits? They actually gave her superpowers. She can change size. Yay!

There’s a great big kerfuffle as Kang (Nate’s evil future self) and the actual Avengers show up. Jessica Jones ends up un-pregnanted for a bit as time threatens to collapse in on itself because of the stress it’s undergoing.

Billy’s reality-warping abilities are revealed, and he accidentally saves the day, but does not save Nate. Poor Nate.

He and Cassie kissed at some point. It’s not very relevant.

Vision is now a person! Not the same Vision you know and love, though. This one’s brain waves are based on Nate. His name is Jonas. I love him.

He ends up falling in love with Cassie because of this. This is relevant, but not for a while.

He also isn’t part of the team yet.

The adult Avengers tell them to stop superheroing, because they’re kids and not ready for this.

The kids don’t listen. They’re a Team Now.

V1 Pt2

There’s an entire “Eli’s not actually a supersoldier like his grandfather, so he takes Mutant Growth Hormone the way a normal person would take speed so he can temporarily have superpowers and it’s killing him slowly” plotline that I’m not a fan of. I’m really not a fan of the black kid getting the drug plotline. Yech.

He leaves the team for a while.

Kate is an heiress, so she’s bankrolling the team. Fuck yeah.

Also she’s calling herself Hawkeye by this point. Cassie is Stature.

Less Fuck Yeah is the fact that aliens are showing up. Why are aliens showing up? Because Teddy’s an alien.

Turns out his mom was the Skrull princess, and he’s heir to the throne of an alien empire. (His inheritance is bigger than Kate’s.)

Skrulls are natural shape-shifters, hence Teddy’s powers.

His dad was Captain Mar-Vell of the Kree empire.

The Kree and Skrull usually hate each other. Mar-Vell seduced Princess Anelle while he and some other Avengers were imprisoned by her father, in fact. It was very soap opera.

Both of these people are dead, and Teddy was raised by a nurse that Anelle had entrusted him to.

Teddy’s adoptive mom gets burned alive. And then not-alive. Teddy is understandably traumatized by the fact that he’s an alien and that his mom was just murdered by the guy that came to steal him away.

Teddy gets kidnapped. Eli rejoins the team because, well, kidnapped.

BTW Jonas has been living at Avengers Mansion, playing chess and getting tested for sapience.

Edwin Jarvis tries to convince them to let the real, adult Avengers handle the kidnapping.

They nope and Jonas helps them find more Young Avengers. They go break a kid out of prison.

Kid’s a mutant, like Billy! Kid’s had trouble controlling the powers and destroyed some stuff, like Billy! Kid looks exactly like Billy, like... wait.

This is Tommy Shepherd. He blew up a school when his superspeed manifested, and got tossed into juvie as a result. He has white hair, but he and Billy are otherwise identical. This is relevant.

They go try to save Teddy, but even more aliens show up than just the One Guy (K’lrt, the Super Skrull) that kidnapped Teddy.

The Skrulls and Kree are about to fight a war over Manhattan because Teddy exists.

A few people suggest that Billy and Tommy are retroactive reincarnations of the Scarlet Witch’s dead kids. This is still relevant.

There’s a big fight, but not a war.

Eli gets shot.

K’lrt has a change of heart and shapeshifts into Teddy and replaces him so that the aliens leave.

Eli gets a blood transfusion from Steve Rogers himself. He’s a real supersoldier now!

They get commended for their actions. Now they really ARE a team, and if someone says V1 team, it’s gonna be these seven: Billy, Teddy, Kate, Cassie, Eli, Tommy, Jonas.

Sometimes Jonas gets swapped out for Nate.

I get sad.

The Events

Civil War was about Tony Stark and Steve Rogers fighting about government oversight. It was more complicated than the movie.

Most of the YA are on Steve’s side. Cassie is on Tony’s.

They try to help the Runaways at one point.

Noh-Varr gets mind-controlled into trying to kill them.

Noh’s life is an endless clusterfuck.

They all almost kill each other, there’s a kind of queerphobic kidnapping (it’s focused on mutants and aliens, but the mutant is gay, two of the aliens are gay, and one of the aliens is genderfluid), and there’s torture of minors.

On the bright side we get to see Tommy being a Big Bro Friend to a twelve-year-old with super-strenghth, so that’s fun.

Secret Invasion is basically about the Skrulls being Everywhere.

They run into the Runaways again.

They fight some aliens.

Teddy almost gets kidnapped again?

This is not the last time Teddy gets kidnapped or even just almost kidnapped.

He should work on that.

Tommy’s powers get a panel that heavily indicate some Science that I once nerded out about for a while.

IDK it’s drawn manga-style and they all fight alien assassins and it’s fun.

Dark Reign was about Norman Osborne taking over everything and being awful.

There’s an evil version of the Young Avengers running around, using their name.

They confront the new team.

The new team ranges from “artsy villain fangirl who found a magic coat” to “guy whose powers led to him accidentally murdering his parents and now he’s fucked up from it and trying to do good” to “girl woke up with powers one day and decided to lie to the world and pretend to be Asgardian” to “some guy who just really loves guns and killing people and styled himself after Punisher’s aesthetic with even less regard to human life” to a chick that’s just a straight-up Nazi with size-changing powers and a robot boyfriend that she’s constantly rewiring to make him a more awful person.

I fucking hate Big Zero. She’s a nazi and she’s awful.

I like Sylvie, though. I mean, she pretends to be something she’s not, and she flirts with a man who’s clearly taken and gay, even while she’s not single herself.

But like.

She’s fun and kinda dumb and I enjoy reading her.

Children’s Crusade

The Scarlet Witch has been missing for a few years.

After Billy’s powers go nuclear, he decides to go find her, because she’s his soul mom.

He brings the team.

(There’s a lot more going on because the Avengers all think Billy’s powers are going to go on the fritz and murder everyone.)

GRANDPA MAGNETO IS IN THIS ONE

I LOVE GRAMPNETO

HE’S NOT GOOD AT THIS GRANDPA THING BUT HE’S HERE

Also Pietro

He’s the worst uncle

He’s so bad with kids

I love him

They find Wanda but it turns out she’s a Doombot.

So they go to Castle Doom, and it turns out she’s amnesiac and about to marry Doctor Doom because he’s manipulating her into thinking he’s a good person.

Shit happens, she gets her memories back, and then there’s a big fight between the Avengers (who think Wanda and Billy are risks), the X-Men (who think similarly, but also are mad at the Avengers, and there’s a cool sequence where Wanda knocks out Emma Frost), and Doctor Doom, who’s trying to become God.

He kind of succeeds, and then fails.

Nate shows up.

Several people, including Cassie’s dad, get brought back from the dead, or are revealed to have never been dead in the first place.

Cassie dies.

Jonas is murdered by Nate.

Everything is awful.

The team splits up.

Only Tommy wants to keep being a hero.

Everything sucks, basically.

V2

I fucking love V2.

Kate and Noh-Varr hook up and she doesn’t even realize this is the guy who almost killed her that one time until the morning after.

They fight some Skrulls while flying around in orbit with Noh’s spaceship.

(We later find out that these are not Skrulls. They are shapeshifters who are Skrull Fanboys.)

Teddy’s been sneaking out at night (he lives with Billy’s family, since he’s an orphan now) to fight crime. Billy does not approve.

There’s a new girl called America Chavez. She’s important.

Loki is like... ten.

Billy tries to pull Teddy’s mom out of another universe, moments before her death.

It’s great!

Turns out she’s an interdimensional Eldritch Abomination that wants to eat their souls.

She can make adults oblivious to the fact that anything is wrong.

She can mind-control parents.

She can, in the right location, bring back DEAD PARENTS that she mind-controls to fight you for the ultimate trifecta of trauma.

She’s terrifying and I love her.

Anyway, Loki tries to help, almost gets used as a bartering chip with Asgard to get them to help instead since no one trusts Loki, and the team comes together!

Kate, Noh, Loki, America, Billy, Teddy

They have to fight a really big horde of mind-controlled parents.

Including their own undead superhero parents.

Loki actually helps!

They fly off to have fun fighting crime elsewhere until they can figure out how to avoid Mother more successfully, since they can’t really stay in New York right now.

They live on Noh’s spaceship.

It’s a nice spaceship.

(Irony of ironies, Loki was the one that pointed The Mother Parasite in Billy’s direction and planted the idea of saving Mrs. Altman into Billy’s mind in the first place. It was a whole Thing.)

TOMMY is not part of the team, because he cut himself off from basically everyone back in CC. I’m not actually sure anyone knew HOW to contact him at this point.

He goes on a date with a cute, superpowered coworker. Coworker’s name is David. He doesn’t actually HAVE superpowers anymore, but his superpower used to be knowledge absorption, and he remembers EVERYTHING.

EVERYTHING

You wanna know Wolverine’s preferred ass-wiping method? David knows. You wanna know how to do a one-time pad to encrypt data? David knows. You want Emma Frost’s bra size? He knows, but he’s not going to tell you, because she’s terrifying.

I love David.

There’s some horrifying Thing wearing Eli’s old costume running around and doing weird illegal shit so Tommy and David investigate.

Tommy gets kidnapped for a bit.

David gets the Young Avengers to help him save Tommy.

It’s awesome, mostly.

Teddy and Billy take a break, and Teddy’s new therapist is Leah of Hel.

I love Leah.

There’s a support group for exes of superpowered people who got fucked over by that whole nonsense.

All three of Noh’s exes are torn between wanting him back or wanting him dead.

Except Oubliette, who doesn’t see why she needs to choose.

America’s ex-teammate is mad that she’s a lesbian.

Patri-not is an Eldrith Being that kidnapped Tommy and we honestly still don’t know what it was.

It’s been SIX YEARS IN THE REAL WORLD AND I STILL DON’T KNOW WHAT IT IS

And Leah is Loki’s former best friend.

Teddy think’s they’re all nuts and tries to leave.

Take a guess what happens.

Take a guess.

If you guessed kidnapping, you’re right!

The support group is working with the Mother Parasite.

So now the team has to go rescue Teddy.

Loki gets aged up by way of Billy’s magic but it doesn’t help Loki get their magic back fully like they’d hoped.

So, fight.

It’s all very dramatic and they use David’s phone tree to get backup and there’s a lot of visual metaphor.

Billy becomes the Demiurge for a bit to erase Mother from existence. He’s basically god?

Noh dumps Kate for his ex.

It turns out all of the exes are figments of Loki’s imagination. His guilt over murdering his child self (back in Journey into Mystery) and possessing the body manifested itself externally, and the reason he lost so much of his magic was because he was subconsciously creating magical constructs like Leah and the League of Evil Exes.

Noh feels like a dumbass.

Loki disappears just as Billy’s introducing all of his friends to his parents.

Loki feels guilty as shit.

There’s a New Year’s party and everyone’s invited, including David’s phone tree.

Fun!

Turns out Loki bankrolled the party. They flirt with David for a bit.

I ship it, tbh.

Patri-not wasn’t actually a figment of Loki’s imagination. Patri-not is real, and an enigma, and still has Tommy.

David makes out with Patri-not and halfway through Patri-not turns into Tommy so. Tommy’s back!

WE STILL DON’T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK PATRI-NOT IS

YES I’M GENUINELY UPSET ABOUT THIS

There’s a joke at the end of the comic about how they’re all queer except Kate.

Hawkeye implies that she’s probably bi later on.

Loki never rejoins the team because GUILT.

Original Sins was a thing. Teddy, David, and Noh work together to save a bunch of stoners who are about to die from having a bunch of information downloaded directly into their brain when someone crushed a giant eyeball.

And everyone’s been doing their own thing since then.

Teddy really needs to stop getting kidnapped, tbh.

#asukaskerian #Young Avengers #Teddy Altman #Billy Kaplan #Kate Bishop #Eli Bradley #Jonas #Tommy Shepherd #Noh Varr #David Alleyne #America Chavez #Cassie Lang #Nate Richards

[paraphernaliawagon]

Diary for 7/29/20

i just realized in one of my rants about that stupid fantasy novel i’m not actually writing (in those “diary” posts i used to write when i was high... haven’t written one in a while) i said my fictional prehistoric wizard civilization wasn’t supposed to be based off any real-life ancient civilization... and then listed “the hyborian age” as an example of the sort of thing i meant? the hyborian age where robert e. howard CODIFIED the “fantasy counterpart culture” trope as it is used in much of modern fantasy? that he explained in the essay of the same name that is one of THE most racist things i’ve EVER read? THAT hyborian age? was i fucking high? (oh shit i was) back to the drawing board.

(my other example, neveryon, was better. it’s for the most part a fairly believable imaginary picture of what a late-neolithic civilization could have been like. including the emergence of powerful technologies and social forces such as money, writing, weaving... and slavery... and anti-slavery movements... and bdsm relationships that play-act slavery... these books get into some really heavy topics. they are more discourse on philosophy, economics, and sociology than traditional fantasy adventure story, yet also extremely readable with engaging characters. and a lot of explicit gay sex... not all of it pleasant or consensual. i will always recommend people read samuel r. delany. i think he gets overlooked on places like tumblr when people talk about black and/or gay sf and fantasy writers because his books are difficult and upsetting. but not pretentious. some people who aren’t willing to really engage with books that challenge them and are really different from what they’re used to call him pretentious. but actually (in my opinion) he has this really great ability to write about seemingly “pretentious” topics in an accessible way. (it’s the power of storytelling baybee!) he is absolutely one of the most revolutionary sf and fantasy writers there is. what i want to write is more traditional sword and sorcery than neveryon but it is still a big influence on me.)

what i would consider actually good worldbuilding is kinda rare even in the fantasy books that i really love. i’m trying to figure it out on my own which is hard. inspiration from older works is always leading me down the wrong path. (obviously i gotta branch out more and read better books. almost all of my faves are from before 1990 and almost all of them are by white people)

(btw the niithians are gonna be sorta minoan-inspired in some ways. like their use of aquatic motifs in their decorating, and some of the fashions (no exposed breasts though, sorry. well, maybe on special occasions) they are also inspired by america but in a non-obvious way. some of their architecture is inspired by the stuff that mcmansionhell posts. but in a non-obvious way where it still looks like fantasy architecture it just has certain things in common with mcmansions. like too many different window shapes, a clusterfuck of a roofline, too much beige etc.

today i was thinking about this story by fritz leiber i read once. i don’t remember what it was called or anything about the plot. the only thing i remember is that it takes place in a future (50-100 years in the future i think) where american social norms about modesty have changed so dramatically that women now wear masks whenever they’re in public BUT have no qualms about exposing their breasts. that’s so fucking stupid. like, yes, cultural norms about which body parts are obscene are totally arbitrary BUT there is absolutely no plausible reason they would suddenly change so drastically within a particular country. i think this was written in the 50s (could be wrong). so he was a bit ahead of his time because that kind of thing is like quintessentially New Wave SF. “oh i gotta make sure to mention that all the women are topless because you can get away with that in science fiction now! welcome to the 60s mama” leiber is a hellava writer but seems to have not had a high opinion of women in general. he died in the 90s. coincidentally one of the inspirations for zoal and marrhia is “fafhrd and the grey mouser if they fucked.” OR “conan/elric crossover but they fuck.” which i actually tried to write about once in college based on some amazing fanart i saw and a dream i had about said fanart. it sucked. i could never have done justice in words to what their sex would have looked like

here is the fanart in question

my dad got me conan the barbarian #14-15 (with the actual for real crossover with elric) for my 14th birthday. these comics were not in good condition to begin with and i read them so many times that they can no longer be handled without bits crumbling off (happens with comics that are 40+ years old sadly. the paper they were printed on in olden days was very poor quality.) this is a great story because conan and elric spend the entire time they are forced to work together for a common goal bickering nonstop while the wizard’s daughter whose name i forget (who gets killed of at the end for no good reason) tries to keep them on task. it also had a memorable villain, terhali the green empress,who you can see above. i wanna know what spell turned her green. she is melnibonean so presumably she was born with a human-like skin tone. the greenness is never explained.