#(tho again we have Not had any issues for 48 hours the problem really seems to be circumscribed to unfortunately our bedroom

[why-this-kolaveri-machi]

i’m an idiot. i screw everything up.

Titans 3.03

still here, still doing this. these reviews take a fair bit of time that i cobble together across days (like, ten minute chunks during breaks, etc) and i tend to struggle to keep up with episodes as they come out. this means that by the time i’m done with one, most of my stuff is jossed (or geoffed in this case? idk) or outdated and the post sinks like a stone into oblivion. so! i’m going to change things up a bit with this one and write as i see the episode rather than collecting my thoughts later. in my experience with spn, that was a faster way to get them done. 

anyway. let’s see how it goes! *shadowboxes*

SPOILERS ahead.

1. an auspicious start with some grave-digging!

digging up a grave and breaking open a coffin is some serious, back-breaking work--that dick did it on his own, likely straight after that fight with red hood, is a testament to the sheer intensity, stamina and discipline that he’s capable of. like, we like to joke about dick cooking cauliflower crust pizzas and making gar and rachel spar and memorise sun tzu--and despair at the obvious consequences of some of bruce’s parenting skills--but imagine crime-fighting almost daily without any superpowers, performing some of the most intense parkour in bulky, uncomfortable armour, doing detective work, pushing through every last barrier of exhaustion and then getting up to repeat it all over again the next day. dick probably thought he was going extra-easy on rachel and gar.

1.5. then again, dick probably had a hundred different easier ways to confirm whether jason was still buried or not, from using equipment to merely asking connor to have a quick look with his x-ray vision. but, no, he’s too caught up in confusion and terror, not really having come to terms with jason’s death in the first place, leave alone the possibility that he could be alive after all. he can’t possibly let the others know until he’s confirmed it himself, even if it means digging all through the night until his arms are jelly, thinking over and over again about jason’s eyes, jason’s voice, from behind that red mask. 

... besides, dick has good reason to believe that he could’ve been hallucinating. wouldn’t be his first psychotic episode, after all.

that just imbues this sweaty, desperate, fingers-scrabbling-in-gravedirt scene with that much more poignancy, and a fair bit of bone-chilling terror. dick is horrified to realise that jason’s grave is empty, but a part of him is also probably relieved.

1.75 (... also it’s curious that we’re never shown any of the team asking to see jason’s grave after they come to wayne manor. i guess it’s because the writers--and the audience--know that jason is actually alive, but these people don’t know that. i don’t know if it’s sad or infuriating or both that they’re barely shown mourning him.)

2. oh GOD the sheer TENSION in kory saying, “i don’t want to say it, but--” and dick quickly interrupting, “it was jason. i saw him,” and hank giving him this loaded sidelong glance. i love how dick’s precarious mental health from last season is still this big elephant in the room but at least nobody’s blowing up in his face and questioning his every decision yet

2.25. i love the relative matter-of-factness with which they’re discussing a possible resurrection. and, of course, ra’s al ghul is brought up and quickly dismissed

(still wouldn’t put it past this show to bring him up at the very last second as the real real mastermind)

2.5. “maybe they can bring donna back” OH KORY

2.75. didn’t they have this same conversation about killing/not killing rose last season? man, the og titans make me tired.

and i don’t know if it’s just hank, but there’s a definite in-group/out-group vibe going on with the og titans, where they’re not only ready to consider killing anybody who threatens the group but makes it difficult for new people to fit in. donna and kory got along well with each other, but the dynamics between hank/donna/dawn and gar/rachel/rose were somewhat strained, and with jason, they were really fucking terrible. it makes sense when you think about how the titans started and how they broke up the first time--both were fairly disruptive events, i’d imagine, in that they probably got together to break away from their mentors and strike out on their own, and when they split up, it was the first time they felt directly responsible for the loss of an innocent life.

but the titans that dick is leading now is explicitly about mentoring a young generation of heroes, about second chances and found family. dick definitely wants to reach out to him first, and i have a feeling he’s going to be forced to make some sort of terrible Choice later on in this episode. 

2.8. (honestly tho, this also seems like hank struggling with his own guilt re: jason; if red hood is not the kid that he failed, it’d be easier to fight him.)

3.

HANK NO

4. honestly this season is already ticking off so many things on my wishlist, but i really wish dick would sit down with the newer members of his team and trust them with important information the same time that he’s telling them to the other members. gar searching for help and reassurance from a man who just dumped all of his responsibilities on his son overnight and went AWOL is a sad sight

4.25. has it only been just 48 hours????? wow! jason’s definitely been planning the red hood gig for a long time now...

5. ezekiel, my man! shady looking guy gets into your cab without a destination in mind... no problem, get right in! said guy gets a call to go to the observatory when he’s barely even looked out of the window so far at gotham... yep, a damn tourist! i want more ezekiel in this show.

5.25. (of course jason has upturned table lamps all along the floor... we have to *gritted teeth* balance the TEAL with the ORANGE don’t we?)

5.5. “dick’s a fucking psycho--he could be following you right now.” hank... has no objection to that lol

5.25. hank, hank... this is bad-decision-palooza. i can’t imagine that hank actually thought that jason was reaching out to him for help, given that the last time hank and jason had any substantial interaction hank had been one of the people accusing jason of sabotaging the team. but for him to go seek out jason and go along with his demands without any backup, weapons or equipment? not the best idea he’s ever come up with.

(add to that getting into the swimming pool of a condemned gym... oh yuck.)

((yes, i have enough self-restraint to not cap his ass.))

(((cap his ass! HA!)))

5.5. do you think jason has bugs/monitoring equipment planted in wayne manor to monitor the titans, or remote access to the cave’s systems? wouldn’t put it past him.

6. oh man, hank came back before dick and the others could meet ezekiel! this is TRAGIC

6.25. i mean, it’s plot-convenient that connor was able to give so much information about the bomb from just looking at it once, but i also like to think it’s the luthor-side of him coming to the fore. it also reminds me of that (in)famous scene from the new52 run of Nightwing comics, where a bomb was attached to nightwing’s heart and luthor disabled it by killing nightwing (temporarily). it’s a neat little callback. 

6.55. “where i come from, you go after family? there’s no mercy.” BUT THAT’S THE PROBLEM ISN’T IT

6.75. i mean, dick’s making sense: this is a game, and they need to get it off playing out on jason’s terms. but having a member of his team in his face, doubting his reasoning and every decision? a very familiar sight. 

6.8. krypto with an a+ sense of humour? also a very familiar sight.

7. wayne enterprises... providing the military with... bombs that can be implanted in humans? a BIIIIG yikes. i guess it’s not too many steps above developing clandestine intra-dermal trackers and implanting them in your own sons, and bruce probably thought they could be used as part of negotiation tactics, but still... YIKES.

7.5. on the other hand, conner being asked to build a deactivation advice seems part of a growth arc that started from last season... he knows so much, but part of growing is learning, and part of learning is using what you know to create something new.

8. oh man, my heart broke at hank going “i’m an idiot... i screw everything up.” like. for him to go like this, after being brought down to such a low last season? struggling with pain and addiction and his relationship with the love of his life? it’s so sad.

9. oh, oh, oh! ronnie from schitt’s creek! i love her!

9.5. “one of jason’s minions” took his body out of the morgue... how deliciously morbid that he planned out his own death like this!

10. TALK TO HANK, DICK

honestly, tho, i’m quite impressed with dick here. trying to think beyond just the most alarming part of the crisis at hand, keeping his cool, delegating tasks, frequently touching base with different members of his team... well done. 

10.25.... whoops, spoke too soon. i’m genuinely confused here, tho. where did the van full of gold bars come from? why did they stop there and get out? how did dawn even know about this?

on the other hand, it’s cool to know dove has bulletproof feathers!

10.5. eh... curran walters isn’t really selling red hood’s menace to me so far. but then again, if titans version of red hood is vulnerable-kid-with-father-issues-trying-to-overcompensate, then yeah! yeah, it makes sense. 

11. “when bats have sex, they gotta have something to hang from” OH GOD HANK

... because i want smiley!gar on my blog :)

11.5. awww. i feel sorry for hank but NONE of these fuckers deserve gar except maybe kory

12. ohhh FUCK! look at jason being exactly one step ahead of the titans at every turn. nice.

no really, i love the building stakes and the building mystery - i feel like the deathstroke arc from last season should’ve been more like this. the flashbacks about jericho and rose came too late and after too much build up, which resulted in a very underwhelming and confusing season throughline.

13. HANK AND DIIIIIICCCKKK

“you’re doing your best by me. always have.” WAILING HERE

it also kills me to think that hank thinks that his imminent death is because of his failure to keep the team together (when he was clearly struggling with his own issues and was spiralling towards rock-bottom) and his fear that he will once again be the cause of the team falling apart. 

also:

14. “i grew up... you can, too. you just have to face your fear.”

yep, got scarecrow’s grubby little fingerprints aaaaalllll over this. 

14.25. nightwing’s got specialised batarangs! yay! (somehow i can’t see this universe’s dick calling them “wingdings”)

15. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

oh man, that was devastating. well done, show. fuck, well done, jason.

this is going to bring up all sorts of “if onlys” for the team. i can’t wait for some fucking aftermath. 

#titans #titans spoilers #dick grayson #hank hall #dawn granger #garfield logan #conner kent #jason todd #a tragic jalebi #meta

[impractical-matters]

Tag Game: Dig a Little Deeper

tagged by @mollyweasly - thank you steph!! 💕💕

1. do you prefer writing with a black pen or a blue pen? both

2. would you prefer to live in the country or in the city? country

3. if you could learn a new skill, what would it be? I’ve always wanted to learn to drive stick/manual

4. do you drink your tea/coffee with sugar? both, and yes

5. what was your favorite book as a child? I always loved, The Very Lonely Firefly by Eric Carle

6. do you prefer baths or showers? I love both, but I like to unwind in the tub whenever possible

7. if you could be a mythical creature, which one would you be? An elemental witch

8. paper or electronic books? paper, always, unless it’s fanfiction 

9. what is your favorite item of clothing? I have a couple plaid shirts that were my grandfather’s that I love

10. do you like your name? would you like to change it? My mother chose my name and it’s spelling because it was her favorite, and I have always liked it. 

11. who is a mentor to you? I have some successful psychologists/psychiatrists in my family who I really admire and would like to follow in their footsteps

12. would you like to be famous? if so, what for? I think we’ve all imagined what it would be like, I did some singing competitions and it was scary but it was also really nice to be recognized afterwards and complimented, but then again celebrities have zero privacy, so I don’t think I would be able to combat that. You have to be seriously dedicated to your craft to be willing to put up with the whole world, and I think I’m a bit too shy for all that...

13. are you a restless sleeper? When I was in camp, I had the nickname ‘sleeping beauty’ because I always slept flat on my back and never moved. That was when I had no stress in my life tho, so nowadays it’s a bit rougher sometimes. 

14. do you consider yourself to be a romantic person? I like to think so, but I haven’t had anyone to express that with recently

15. which element best represents you? I can see how they all play a part for me, but I think fire might be the most appropriate 

16. who do you want to be closer to? my friends, this quarantine has been hard on all of us

17. do you miss someone at the moment? my brother (oops, brothers I mean haha) 

18. tell us about an early childhood memory. there was a swingset in my backyard that faced my mother’s office, and in the summer when I had off from school, I would sometimes go out there and swing for hours, waving at her and just trying to catch her attention. I also spent a lot of time “rock hunting” in the backyard, which was just me digging for pretty rocks, mostly quartz

19. what is the strangest thing you have eaten? honestly I don’t think I’ve eaten that many weird things, religion kinda gets in the way of that. I did try a raw quails egg once

20. what are you most thankful for? my family and their continuous support 

21. do you like spicy food? I like some spicy foods, like Japanese and Korean, and sometimes Mexican, but I gotta be careful with those peppers 

22. have you ever met someone famous? yes, i met Matthew McConaughey outside a bathroom in JFK, I met Chris Allen in Disney World, and my friends cousin is Ricky Ullman, so I saw him around a few times for family events. 

23. do you keep a diary or journal? I used to have a song folder, which is the closest I ever got, and then of course there’s all my writing journals, but those are mostly stories, not strictly personal thoughts. I did try once in camp, but someone stole it, so clearly that was a bad idea, and I never tried again. 

24. do you prefer to use pen or pencil? pen

25. what is your star sign? gemini

26. do you like your cereal crunchy or soggy? mostly crunchy, but I like pops to be a big soggy

27. what would you want your legacy to be? I just want to be remembered, not really sure what for at this moment...

28. do you like reading? What was the last book you read? I do love to read, I recently re-read The Call of the Wild by Jack London 

29. how do you show someone you love them? Being there for them, showing my support when they’re down or if they need help. also just saying it, getting them little gifts that remind me of them 

30. do you like ice in your drinks? sometimes, but never in juice or milk 

31. what are you afraid of? sharks, starvation, being deserted in the middle of the ocean and being alone 

32. what is your favorite scent? ooooh that’s a tough one, I like fresh scents, like rain, ocean water, the forest, and other natural and seasonal scents like herbs and spices, flowers, sandalwood, vanilla, etc. 

33. do you address older people by their name or surname? Depends who they are, family I’ve been trying to keep their titles in there, like Aunt & Uncle because they told me they like that, if it’s someone at work I use their first name with them and their surnames when discussing them with outside clients. 

34. if money was not a factor, how would you live your life? I would probably travel a lot, visit all the places I wanted to go and visit my family around the world, pay off all my debts, pay for medical bills...and I would buy back my family home. 

35. do you prefer swimming in pools or the ocean? I love the idea of the ocean, but it’s big and scary and covers the majority of our planet so we can never really uncover everything that’s out there, so I prefer the safety of a landlocked pool. 

36. what would you do if you found $50 in the ground? Depends on the context. If I found $50 on the ground but I know that someone has lost it, I give the money back to the person. If I don’t know whose money is that, I keep it to myself. (keeping this answer bc same- also same!)

37. have you ever seen a shooting star? did you make a wish? yes and yes

38. what is one thing you would want to teach your children? your anger does not control you and while violence might seem like a convenient answer, it is never the solution to your problems; using your words is a much smarter and efficient tactic to defeating your issues/enemies etc. And you should treat others the way you would like to be treated and always protect your family. 

39. if you had to have a tattoo, what would it be and where would you get it? I’ve always liked the idea of triskelion because of the many different things it represents (plus teen wolf), and I would put it on my wrist because I’m cliche 

40. what can you hear now? the air conditioning is really loud in this basement

41. where do you feel the safest? under the covers with my cat 

42. what is one thing you want to overcome/conquer? I wish I was more confident and could overcome my stage fright, I get nervous talking in front of anyone and it’s just so frustrating to trip over my words so much when I know exactly what I want  to say, but my mouth won’t speak the words 

43. if you could travel back to any era, what would it be? I always liked the fashion of the Victorian Era, but the treatment of women was terrible, which is mostly true for most points in history, so...idk 

44. what is your most used emoji? 💕 because I love these hearts, and one is just never enough

45. describe yourself using one word. tenacious

46. what do you regret the most? not being there when my father died

47. last movie you saw? I just watched Knives Out last night! 

48. last tv show you watched? currently have Derry Girls s2 queued up 

49. invent a word and its meaning. dude, come on, I have no idea

Welp that was a lot of questions, but it was a nice break from work 😂 Seriously no pressure, this was a long one! Tagging: @mercheswan @superdanys @clotpolesonly @tinanewt @anduril @buckleydiazs @lightfiretomypaperwings @lovelyhufflepuff38 @when-she-writes-stuff @mysnflower @hecthledgers @dannneelackles @nighttimemachinery @theproblemwithstardust @tabbytabbytabby

#personal #tag game #get to know me #anyone else who wants to #please feel free

[dinatlou]

DO ALL 100!

Here we go… I’ve finally done it!

1: is there a boy/girl in your life?Nope, I’m a single Pringle

2: think of the last person who hurt you; do you forgive them?It wasn’t actually one person it was a group of people and absolutely not. I can’t forgive them for what they said and did (I’m not going to get into it tho)

3: what do you think of when you hear the word “meow?”My cat :)

4: what’s something you really want right now?Idk, I’m not sure I want to get too deep about it lol

5: are you afraid of falling in love?Me!? Afraid of falling in love? What would make you think such a thing (you’re totally right)

6: do you like the beach?I do! Although I don’t go loads of tbh. The beach is so calming and peaceful. I just get stressed in the summer bc bees and wasps are about.

7: have you ever slept on a couch with someone else?I slept on one half of a sofa while someone’s sat in the other half?? Does that count? Wasn’t like cute or anything. It’s family so like????

8: what’s the background on your cell?Just generic one that came on my phone. My lock screen is me, my sister and two of my cousins

9: name the last four beds you were sat on?Mine x3 and my sisters :’)

10: do you like your phone?Yeah I do!! Idk what else to say ahaha

11: honestly, are things going the way you planned?NO OMG?! It’s actually the complete opposite to what I had in mind. I never even imagined my life would be remotely like this but I suppose my minds like a little dream land or something?

12: who was the last person whose phone number you added to your contacts?Probably two of my friends. I never had their numbers because we would just talk on Facebook or whatever.

13: would you rather have a poodle or a rottweiler?Poodle!!

14: which hurts the most, physical or emotional pain?Emotional!! If you get a cut, it’ll scab over. If you break a bone, you get a cast. If you’re hurt mentally/emotionally/psychologically there isn’t a quick fix to that

15: would you rather visit a zoo or an art museum?Hmmm, idk. Maybe a zoo? Don’t hate me I know they shouldn’t be there but..idk

16: are you tired?Always ahahha

17: how long have you known your 1st phone contact?I’ve already answered this one and I cba to write it out again ahaha

18: are they a relative?The girl I talked about in the other ask isn’t no, she’s a friend.

19: would you ever consider getting back together with any of your exes?I mean, maybe if I had an ex to even get back with?

20: when did you last talk to the last person you shared a kiss with?Never apparently, never kissed anyone

21: if you knew you had the right person, would you marry them today?Well, one I’m single. But if I was with someone and I knew I was going to be with them forever I would marry them…but not now. I’m only 17 and I can’t fork out for a wedding rn ahaha

22: would you kiss the last person you kissed again?Again, seems impossible.

23: how many bracelets do you have on your wrists right now?0 haha

24: is there a certain quote you live by?I guess “Ohana means family” from Lilo and Stitch? I used to say it a lot as a kid. It’s stuck really. Family is really important to me but I’m also a believer that family isn’t always blood

25: what’s on your mind?lol too much

26: do you have any tattoos?No, but I think I might get one at the end of the year (hopefully school won’t notice)

27: what is your favorite color?Hmmm, probably purple

28: next time you will kiss someone on the lips?Erm….unlikely

29: who are you texting?Currently no one. The last person I text in general was my sister lol

30: think to the last person you kissed, have you ever kissed them on a couch?They’re non existent!

31: have you ever had the feeling something bad was going to happen and you were right?Yes, think I have a sixth sense or something. I know when people are being off with me, don’t like me, I can kinda guess if they’re lying or not telling me something.

32: do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to?Nope! Don’t really have many friends anyway

33: do you think anyone has feelings for you?No, probably not. But if someone out there does, hiya! Make ya self known (although a relationship is probs the last thing I need rn)

34: has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes?Nope! My eyes are small and so dark brown they’re nearly black so…

35: say the last person you kissed was kissing someone right in front of you?Again, weird concept bc someone will be stood in front of me kissing no one?

36: were you single on valentines day?Of course I was? Have you noticed the pattern here?

37: are you friends with the last person you kissed?I’m going to continue to be sarcastic about this until the end you do realise?

38: what do your friends call you?My name? Mads or Maddie.

39: has anyone upset you in the last week?Idk, I’m upset a lot of the time anyway ahahah

40: have you ever cried over a text?Yep! I know ew

41: where’s your last bruise located?I’m not too sure? Probably my leg or something ahah

42: what is it from?Probably knocked it off a table or my bed lol

43: last time you wanted to be away from somewhere really bad?Now :) contemplating changing my plans to get awayyyy (it won’t happen tho lol)

44: who was the last person you were on the phone with?Apparently my dad last week! You can tell I like never ring people.

45: do you have a favourite pair of shoes?Any of my trainers tbh. My trainers or another pair of shoes that idk what they’re called lol

46: do you wear hats if your having a bad hair day?Na bc school. Can’t wear hats. Don’t really have any to wear anyway

47: would you ever go bald if it was the style?Probably not? Idk

48: do you make supper for your family?Nope!

49: does your bedroom have a door?It does but I barely close it?

50: top 3 web-pages?Idk. I don’t use a computer or laptop too often unless it’s for school stuff or Netflix

51: do you know anyone who hates shopping?Erm, probably. My dad likes food shopping but not like shopping shopping.

52: does anything on your body hurt?My shoulder, I pulled a muscle last night!

53: are goodbyes hard for you?Depends who it is and how long it’s for?

54: what was the last beverage you spilled on yourself?Probably Coke :/

55: how is your hair?Erm, it’s good?? Idk what this questions really asking tbh?? It’s short and thick and kinda blond now??

56: what do you usually do first in the morning?Roll over. Then go on my phone when I pull myself together

57: do you think two people can last forever?I like to think yes. That there’s someone for everyone and all that. But people change and grow naturally so it’s easy for two people to move apart.

58: think back to january 2007, were you single?OF COURSE!?

59: green or purple grapes?Either I don’t mind. I eat purple grapes more bc that’s what my parents buy

60: when’s the next time you will give someone a big hug?Idk

61: do you wish you were somewhere else right now?Erm yep

62: when will be the next time you text someone?Idk. Tonight, tomorrow? Normally it’s me texting my sister a video or smth

63: where will you be 5 hours from now?Asleep!

64: what were you doing at 8 this morning.Sleeping, I woke up just before 9.

65: this time last year, can you remember who you liked?No one. This time last year was difficult. Didn’t have time for that

66: is there one person in your life that can always make you smile?Yep! My two friends

67: did you kiss or hug anyone today?No. Did yesterday though

68: what was your last thought before you went to bed last night?“I feel so sick”

69: have you ever tried your hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?Yeah of course I have? But then again, hasn’t everyone?

70: how many windows are open on your computer?Currently 0, I’m not on my computer.

71: how many fingers do you have?All 10 :)

72: what is your ringtone?Generic iPhone one

73: how old will you be in 5 months?Still 17…but I’ll nearly be 18

74: where is your mum right now?In the living room

75: why aren’t you with the person you were first in love with or almost in love?Bc they were a twat (I didn’t love them but said person fits this question best)

76: have you held hands with somebody in the past three days?Nope!

77: are you friends with the people you were friends with two years ago?Well, two people….I’m not going to get into this though

78: do you remember who you had a crush on in year 7?Yes. Kinda links to the earlier twat

79: is there anyone you know with the name mike?Yep! One of teachers hahah

80: have you ever fallen asleep in someones arms?No I don’t think so

81: how many people have you liked in the past three months?0

82: has anyone seen you in your underwear in the last 3 days?Nope

83: will you talk to the person you like tonight?Nope, don’t like anyone

84: you’re drunk and yelling at hot guys/girls out of your car window, you’re with?Unlikely scenario but probably my best friend

85: if your bf/gf was into drugs would you care?Well…yeah I would if they’re killing themselves everyday?

86: what was the most eventful thing that happened last time you went to see a movie?We got given the tickets for free off a group of lads!!

87: who was your last received call from?Sadly the doctors ahaha

88: if someone gave you $1,000 to burn a butterfly over a candle, would you?This screams butterfly effect to me….couldn’t

89: what is something you wish you had more of?Time? Energy? Confidence?

90: have you ever trusted someone too much?I have total trust issues. So probably :)

91: do you sleep with your window open?Occasionally

92: do you get along with girls?More than boys yeah. Idk. I haven’t found my people

93: are you keeping a secret from someone who needs to know the truth?No?

94: does sex mean love?Apparently not to some

95: you’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, is that a problem?Yeah? Bc I’m locked in a room by my fkn self

96: have you ever kissed anyone with a lip ring?:)))

97: did you sleep alone this week?Erm yeah every night?

98: everybody has somebody that makes them happy, do you?I guess yeah!

99: do you believe in love at first sight?I think it’s more lust? Or love with their looks/vibe? You can’t love a person by just looking at them

100: who was the last person that you pinky promise?Couldn’t tell you!

#long post #ask #anon #personal #it's finally done!