𝐁𝐀𝐁𝐘 𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐏𝐒
𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐯 ; 𝐭𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐬
pairing: jason todd x fem! reader
summary: you're pregnant. somehow, your baby daddy has to find out about it.
word count: 5,6k
warnings: pregnancy, mentions of abortion.
a/n: i wrote and rewrote this a lot, and I don't think this is the best I could come up with, but here it is. a lot more angst that previous episodes and I do recommend reading it while listening to The Flame by Valerie Deniz and also Give me Love by Ed Sheeran because I love how emotional that song usually makes me feel. Hope you all enjoy it ♡♡♡
reblogs and interactions are always appreciated ! ♡
links: previous ; next ; series masterlist ; general masterlist
With a deep sigh, you tried to settle down your nerves. Your hands were sore. Sweaty. Tired of trying. The heaviness still lingered on your chest. The feeling of incoming doom. The air all around was thicker than you’d remembered it for, nearly making it impossible for you to breathe. And you swore to your reflection in the mirror, you were gonna make it through.
It had been three nights since the result. Two days of pain. And one single thought looming in your mind. Pregnant. You’re pregnant. You didn’t know what to do, nor what to think. Sinking into a pit of terror and despair. The idea frightened you, tore you apart. And just thinking of your future, of what was to come from now on, made your head spin.
Today, you forced yourself to forget. Pretend your life was normal, like it used to be. Not Much had changed since you had taken the test three days ago, but to you it felt like everything was different.
You had skipped the gym the last couple of days, the first time doing it since you could remember, scared to face anybody and them finding out, but also too anxiety stricken to even leave your bed. You felt cramps, but also your stomach turning. You felt nauseous, but you weren’t sure if it was due to your newfound condition, or if it was the anxiety acting out.
Nessie had called, and you gave her some excuse that your boss needed you elsewhere. Another city. A quick work trip, you’d be back soon. At work, you told them you had caught some contagious disease you found on google, and they let you off for the entire week. Thankful for a relatively full pantry, you survived for two days on your own, but you sure couldn’t manage to eat much anyway.
You’ve never lived worst days. You were sure of that. Fear fills you to the brim. Sadness eats you up from the inside. And because of that, you felt even worse. There are so many people who dreamed of being where you were now, of getting a positive. So many have struggled for this. And here you were, ungrateful for yours. But you never wanted it in the first place. Not now, not like this. It didn’t follow your plan. It wasn’t perfect.
It wasn’t long ago that you were graduating college. And as of this moment, you were a mere assistant, not even a proper writer or a journalist yet like you’ve dreamed since you were little. An assistant. The bottom of the food chain, with still a lot to grow and harvest in your career. You neither had the finances, the stability, nor the time and mental capacity to be raising a baby on your own.
Because you would be raising it on your own, wouldn’t you? Your baby daddy would just disappear, like many others you’ve heard about. He would pack his things and disappear. He would live his life, continue with being young, having fun, while you were left to fend for yourself and your kid. All alone.
Would you even tell him? Should you even tell him?
Three nights. Three nights of torture. Of overthinking the future and sulking in your bed, your pillow drenched with your tears. You knew you’d go crazy if you kept that going for too long. So, finding some bit of courage, some tiny little ounce of determination, you left your bed that morning ready to forget. Ready to clear your mind, to make it think straight. And then, you wished, you would know what to do.
You showered, ate, did your skincare and put on makeup, and went for a walk around the park. But you just had to step out of your apartment to find someone who made you think instantly of him. Running back inside and leaving your raven haired neighbor staring confused at you, you made a beeline to the bathroom, dropping your entire breakfast in the toilet.
You had to tell him, hadn’t you? You had to tell Jason. It was the right thing to do, right?
So, here you were. Back at the gym you’d quit a month ago in favor of another. All because of your last encounter. You thought it was the best to be done, remove him entirely from your life so you could be free again. If only you had known then where you’d be a month later, you’d have laughed at the irony the world was throwing at you. You still remembered the times he’d come, praying he didn’t have them changed for some reason. Maybe he wanted to avoid you too. Maybe he had quit. Please, God. Be on my side, only for today.
It had been, perhaps, a full hour since you arrived. Roy had greeted you with a large smile, asking if you were back for good. You couldn’t match his enthusiasm, offering him a poor excuse of your own smile instead. All this time, you couldn’t complete a full set, never mind finish an entire exercise. Your body trembled, not answering you. Too exhausted. The heaviness on your chest helped in weighing you down and making every effort insufficient.
The weights you had tried to use now stood on your feet. Crooked, disordered, unorganized. Then, you found yourself looking at your reflection in the mirror. Your eyes were red and swollen. Your lips were dry and exposed some nervous bite marks you’d been taking off them. There were a few pimples on your forehead, and you had bags under your eyes. In the corner of the mirror, too stood the reflection of the one you’d been looking for.
He chatted with another man. It wasn’t Roy, by the darker hair color and shorter size. Yet it was a face you recognized, but failed to name. Jason looked happy, smiling as he spoke excitedly about something you did not know about. Were you really ready to tell him? Were you okay with ceasing his happiness?
Your eyes lingered on him for longer, and eventually, his eyes found yours. His smile was quickly replaced by a frown. An air of disgust and anger. His tongue poked his cheek, and he rolled his eyes at you. Turning around, he decided that facing the other direction was much better than facing you. Now, his broad back was all you were left to stare at.
You felt the nausea return. Leaving your things behind, you rushed to the restroom. He hated you. He hated you and he was fucking right for it. And what were you thinking? Telling him he was going to be a father, to your baby above all, at the fucking gym?
After dumping your stomach in the toilet once more, you wanted to get out of there. Collecting your things and shoving them inside your bag, you headed out. However, in good old fashion, you felt a body stop as it came in contact with someone else’s. You didn’t have to look up to know who it was. Eyeing you from above, Jason started to apologize before he could recognize who you were, proceeding to roll his eyes again. You excused yourself, still looking away from him, and his demeanor changed from anger to worry.
“Yn, are you alright?” he inquired, reaching for your arm. You felt your eyes start to burn, the tears finding their way back, and the nausea only got worse. Running past him, all you managed to say was a quick “I’m fine,” before disappearing.
You arrived at his building straight away, using the faint memory of the directions that remained in your brain from the night he brought you here. You were still clad in your gym clothes, not caring to stop at home first, nor remembering to actually do it. But it was fine, because you didn’t sweat anyways. You couldn’t even finish one full exercise in the hour or so you were there.
So you waited. You waited on the opposite sidewalk, thinking back to the first time you came here. It was almost two months ago, or maybe more, you don’t remember exactly. It seemed longer, though. It all seemed longer. Longer than two months. Longer than three days. It all seemed like an eternity.
The sun waved goodbye on the horizon, hiding between Gotham’s skyline. The weather started to shift, as the warmth of summer slowly gave place to the strong winds and the coolness of the autumn days. The breeze made you wish you had brought a coat or something to keep you warm, the thin gym clothes you wore doing nothing to help you. And so, your body shivered.
Shivered from the cold. Shivered from the fear. The agony you’d so desperately tried to keep away returning back to you. If you went up. If you knocked on his door. If you talked to him, there was no pretending anymore. There was no hiding facts you so wished you could. There was no fighting reality.
A lump formed in your throat, and you tried to swallow it away, to no avail. Your breath, your hands, your legs, your all trembled. Fighting to keep yourself up when all you wanted was to fall down, to curl up under your covers and hide from the world. From the truth.
You thought back to the days when things were easier. To your days at the park, playing around with your friends, the hem of your jeans always dirty from mud, dust or paint. You remembered the days all you had to do was study, your chores, and your drawings. Reading books from sunrise to sundown, or for the entire night. Of when responsibilities didn’t follow you everywhere, and the perspective of the future didn’t break you down.
You thought of your parents. Of how mad they would get. There was always a path to them, a way to follow. A way to live your entire life. Just like they had done theirs. Any step out of that line often led you to trouble. ‘You have to get married to a good and respectful husband. One that will care and provide for you. And then, when the time is right, God will give you children to raise, just like he did to me and your father,’ your mother would tell you. ‘There’s nothing more shameful than a single mother’, were once the words of your father. And the thought of what they’d do to you once they found out had your tears rolling down faster than you could hold them in.
An old lady passed by you, asked if you were okay. You lied, like you’d been doing for the past few days. You weren’t one for lying, never was, and suddenly it was all you did. “Oh dear,” she cooed, and embraced you in an unexpected hug, before her tiny pomsky pulled her away.
Grey took over your surroundings, like one of those movie filters that left everything somber. A single headlight of a motorcycle let you know he was finally here. That the time of truth was upon you. You watched him park his motorcycle like a creep. Hidden in a dark corner, away from his sight. He had showered at the gym, and now wore a different outfit. Sweatpants and a hoodie.
He looked comfortable. You clearly weren’t. He looked happy. Opposite to you. Were you ready to take all that away from him? To curse him to the same pain and anxiety you were feeling now?
But you couldn’t do it alone. You couldn’t. You needed him. You needed him. You needed him by your side. You need someone, something. Something to tell you everything would be okay. Gathering up all your courage, every bit you could find within yourself, you took one step out of the sidewalk.
A deep breath taken before entering the building, you walked in without ceasing to cry. Each step you took up the stairs was heavy. Heavier than when you were drunk, and heavier than the day you left. Each step was a gulp. Each gulp was a scream inside your brain telling you to turn around. About two or three times along the way you stopped to look down, and wondered what would be of you if you’d just ran away.
In your mind, you counted each and every step. An attempt to clear it of thought. It obviously didn’t work. Your legs shook and your breathing faltered with the last steps you took to reach the sixth floor. The tears had dried, leaving your skin cold to the touch. You moved on automatic. Everything else you did a blank stain in your memory.
It was the feeling of the hardwood under your knuckles that brought you back to reality. The hollow sound it made woke you up, showing you’d made it to his door. Your breath got stuck in your throat, and you felt like you could vomit.
He took his time to answer the door. And you wondered if it was a sign to turn around. To leave. But your feet wouldn’t move, even if you screamed at them to do so. The ruffling inside the apartment made your heart jump, beating hard in its place. Your breathing halted, trapped in your larynx, as the tears started rapidly falling down again.
When he opened the door, it was like time had stopped. He assessed you through narrow eyes, still angry at you. You didn’t blame him, not at all.
“They run from you twice and still come right back,” he hissed. His voice was hoarse and monotone, and his eyes found yours in a blank stare. The corners of your mouth fell. Your chin trembled. And had to avert your eyes from him otherwise you’d start sobbing all over again. “Yn,” he called, and his voice didn’t show the hate or disgust anymore. It was worried. It felt pain. Softer and watchfull. “What happened?”
You took a deep breath, swallowing down the tears. Trying so hard to keep them in, but the drops that fell beside your sneakers on the floor were a testament of how your body had stopped responding to you a long time ago. Your shoulders shook, and Jason went from worried to desperate. He didn’t know what was going on. But seeing you like this made him freak out.
And suddenly he wasn’t mad at you anymore. In retrospect, maybe he never truly was. But whatever anger, or frustration he had disappeared from his body. You felt his touch on your shoulder, and you imagined he had just put one hand there as a sign of support. You’d be thankful for just that. But then, you felt his arms drawing you close, wrapping around you, until you felt the soft cotton of his hoodie through your cheek.
The tears ran down faster, soaking a spot on the thick fabric. Your loud sobs only made Jason pull you closer, not knowing how, but still trying to call you down. Whatever happened was too bad that you’d run to him of all people, and he felt obligated to help you in any way he could.
By this point, he was holding you up himself. Your body giving in to the tears. Jason tucked his nose in your hair, breathing in the sweet scent of your shampoo. He caressed your back, kissed you temple, spread warmth through your body with his own hands rubbing at your arms. However, your tears ceased to stop, making the stain under your eyes enlarge, second after second.
“Yn,” he whispered right into your ear. The air he let out hitting against your skin.
You pressed your eyes shut. The tears that still lingered there being forced out. You tightened your hold on him. He called you again, and forced his neck to get a glimpse of your puffy red eyes.
You didn’t want to let go, but forced yourself to push him away just so you could finally face him. You felt your throat dry, a weak cough trying to fix it up. Jason couldn’t help the quick thought of how pretty you looked when you cried, but he felt so much pain in his chest at the same time that he wished he would never see you like that again.
The first time you opened your mouth, nothing came out of it. Jason’s fingers drew figures on your back, both a distraction and an encouragement. You can do it, you can do it. With another deep, long breath, you slowly opened your eyes to meet his.
“I-I’m…” you started, breathless. A single tear late to fall from your eyes. “I’m pregnant.”
Jason’s mind went blank. His body was suddenly weightless. The moments past your announcement, a mere stain in his memory. You now sat beside him on his sofa, your hands covering your face as he heard continuous sobs coming out of you. Your knees tight against your chest, and it didn’t bother him you had your shoes on the sofa. Nothing bothered him. Nothing was on his mind.
Your body quivered, nonstop. His own unresponsive. What the hell did he do?
Pregnant. Eight letters that had the power to change everything. Pregnant. You were pregnant. With his baby.
Jason felt his chest tighten, and breathing suddenly was harder. He tried swallowing the knot in his throat away, but it wouldn’t bulge. Resting his back on the sofa, a hand threading through his hair, he allowed a couple of tears out, rubbing his eyes off any others that dared to hang around.
“Are you sure?” he asked, breaking the prolonged silence with a raspy voice. Moving your head from it’s place buried on your knees, your eyes looked at him with a pain he’d have thought he’d put a knife on your back. “It’s not that I don’t trust you,” he told you softly. “I just want to be sure.”
Straightening beside him, you stared at the cat worriedly looking up at the two humans occupying the sofa. You fiddled with your fingers, pulling at the fabric of your leggings.
“I took a test,” you started to explain. “Three nights ago. And my period was late, and it’s never late. And it’s not like we were careful when we…”
“Not at all.” Jason shook his head. You weren’t careful at all.
The room fell into silence again, the only sounds coming from the cat, now playing between his legs, unaware of the turmoil you’d just caused in his life.
“I’m sorry,” you said, resuming your sobs. “I’m so sorry.”
“No, no,” Jason kept saying. He turned on the sofa, sitting in a position he could easily wrap his arms around you once again. “No, Yn. Don’t be sorry. There’s nothing to be sorry about,” he soothed.
“Jason,” you called him, your voice broken. “How there’s not? I’m fucking pregnant!”
Jason held you tighter. But the truth was, he might’ve been just as scared as you were. A baby meant a new life, responsibilities. And he was still getting used to being an adult and the responsibilities that came with that. It was all going to change. And he had plans…
The two of you stood there until your sobs had quieted down. You didn’t know how long, but you were grateful he was quiet for the entire time. You were thankful he was quiet instead of telling you any of the things you’d thought he would. And you were also thankful he didn’t close his door on your face.
“Have you thought…” Jason tried to speak, but his voice kept on breaking. “Have you thought… of all possibilities?”
He hoped you understood what he meant, because he couldn’t bring himself to say it. It was a hard thing to ask, but he had to. He didn’t want you to think he was pushing you to it, but he needed to know if it was a possibility too. Jason remembered hearing some friends saying they had their girlfriends do it, that they basically forced them. But Jason would never.
He felt you moving on his chest, pushing yourself away from his body, and his breath halted. “It’s your call,” he whispered. “I’ll be there for any of them.”
You had sat back up, hands tugging at your leggings again while you thought. It took you long to answer. Too long for his liking. But he understood your pace, everything was happening way too fast. You needed to think things through. For some reason, his stomach took turns, making him feel sick as he waited.
“I don’t think I could do it,” you stated, staring blankly at your legs. “I don’t think I could end it.” Jason let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. A lightness on his chest he could not name. He nodded, as words didn’t make it out of his lips.
Leaning back on the sofa, you felt his shoulders hit yours. He let out another breath, it was long and you found it hard to read his emotions through it. He was silent beside you, making it even harder for you to guess what was going through his mind.
That’s it, he’s gonna tell you he can’t do it either. He’s gonna leave you alone.
“You just took one test?” he asked after a while. You just nodded. “We should go to the hospital,” he suggested, head turned to watch you. “Get a proper test, just to make sure.”
His suggestion made you hurt. The fact that he doubted you, the fact he thought you’d go to him if you weren’t a hundred percent sure, caused you a pain you did not expect. However, on the other hand, you knew he was right. You had to be certain. False positives happen, right? You could be wrong.
“Okay,” you agreed weakly, turning to face him after all. “I’ll do it.”
It might have been the uncomfortable chairs or the freezing air conditioning, but the time didn’t seem to pass. It was well over an hour since you’d arrived at the hospital, and you’d stopped counting how much you’ve waited for your test results to come out. They said between thirty minutes to an hour, but you were sure it had been longer than that.
While you remained seated for most of your wait, Jason was restless. He stood up and sat down more times than you remember, and he was seriously starting to piss you off with his pacing. Stopping in front of a snack machine, he put some dollar bills in it and took something with him before walking back to you.
Stretching his arm in front of you, he offered both a granola and a Snickers bar. In no mood to be healthy, even though your possible new condition sort of demanded that from you, you took the chocolate gladly.
Jason dropped down on a chair beside you with a huff, and took a bite of the granola bar with a certain annoyance. You were both tired of waiting, that was for sure. The agony you’d felt earlier had simmered down, but you too now sat restless, one of your legs shaking incessantly.
It was involuntary, but Jason’s hand on your knee made it stop. It lingered there for a while, fingertips gracing over the thin fabric and tugging at it just like you had been doing before. You saw his head move, and so did yours, catching his eyes.
Your expressions had been everywhere tonight. The whirlwind of emotions you had gone through justifying each and everyone of them. But this time, his eyes bore into yours much softer, sweeter than they’d been before.
“Yn,” he called your name as if you hadn’t been staring down at him for what seemed like forever. “Whatever happens. Whatever the results say. I’ll be here, alright? I won’t leave you.”
The sincerity in his tone made your eyes tearful once more, but this time you managed to hold them in. You gave him a soft smile, and you were really glad he was here with you now. Putting a hand on top of his, he flipped it over so you could interlace your fingers, caressing its back with your thumb just like he was doing to you.
It was then that your name was called, both of your heads snapping in the reception desk’s direction. Jason stood up and walked over, grabbing a single piece of paper before walking back to you with even taking a glance at it.
When he sat back, he offered you his opened hand. You intertwined your fingers, and held his with both your hands, taking it closer to your heart this time. You couldn’t deny the tiny bit of hope lingering inside you that, just perhaps, you were actually wrong. You weren’t pregnant. But, over the hours, you’d also grown accustomed to the idea. He opened the results with between his thumb and pointer finger, and both your eyes fell on the big letters found on top of it.
Positive. Again. It was positive. You were truly pregnant.
You let out a sigh, closing your eyes to stop the tears from returning. Jason’s hold on you tightened, and you could sense the tension on him returning. He buffed some air out through his mouth, taking another deep breath before doing the same thing again.
“That’s it,” his voice was shaky. “You’re really pregnant.” He forced himself to smile, and you tried to do the same. To no avail. His eyebrows furrowed. “What do we do now?”
“I don’t know,” you replied honestly. “I just wanna go home. It’s been a long night.”
“Okay,” he said softly, standing up and walking with you hand in hand till you left the hospital.
The parking lot was almost empty, and you found Jason’s car sitting isolated far ahead. The silver Toyota Supra shone under the faint light of a lamp post, and you remembered how surprised you were to find him driving it. It finally occurred to you that other than his name and his gym membership, you knew nothing about the man you were about to have a baby with.
He didn’t know you either. Gosh, you didn’t know a thing at this point. About him, about pregnancy, about babies and having children. He asked you ‘what now?’ and you didn’t even have an answer. How the hell were you going to do it?
When he felt your fingers leaving his, Jason immediately turned to face you. Frozen in place and flooded eyes.
“I don’t think I can do it,” you said breathlessly. “Jason, I don't think I can do it. I never wanted kids. I mean, I’ve never really thought about it. I didn’t want it now. I wanted to do it all right. This is not it.” You cried once again, rambling the words that left your mouth. Jason had walked over to you, trying to calm you down and wipe the tears off your face. “I don’t know anything about babies. I’ve only babysat before, but they were much older. And even my nephew, I didn’t meet him until he was, like, six months old. And I don’t know shit about pregnancies. I hated biology. I slept a lot during classes.”
“How can we do it? I barely know you. Gosh I don’t even know your surname, Jason. You’re what, Jason fucking Linetti? How can we have a baby together without knowing each other? We’re supposed to build a family together. A family. My family… I-I never had a family. Not really. I didn’t want a family, Jason. Not now. I don’t think I can do it.”
“Hey, hey,” he cooed, stopping your rambling. He cupped your cheeks with both his hands, holding your face. His forehead rested on yours, forcing you to stare him in the eyes. “I also don’t know what the fuck I’m gonna do. For fucks sake, Yn. But we have time. The baby is not gonna come tomorrow. We’ll figure things out. Together. We have each other, alright? You have me. I’ll be here, with you, all along. You don’t have to worry. We’ll learn how to do this together, and with time. Okay?”
Jason’s dark eyes passed you enough confidence to have you thinking that, maybe, possibly, he was right. You could actually do it. The baby isn’t coming tomorrow, you have time. You’ll figure things out. With Jason. Together.
Slowly, you nodded. You could do it, right?
Jason sighed, relieved you actually believed him, because as of right now, he himself was struggling to do so. Giving your head a long kiss, he pulled you into a hug before pulling away to open his car door to you to enter. Dropping on the driver seat beside you, you desperately waited to get back home.
“I’m Jason Peter Todd. I’m 22 years old. A leo. I work as an exercise physiologist, but I want to be a doctor someday. So I’m working on getting into med school soon. I love motorcycles, they are fucking cool and driving them makes me feel free. I have probably over twenty tattoos and my favorite book is probably Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen.”
“What was that for?” You gave him an amused smile.
“You said you didn’t know me or my surname. Now you do, and you can say you know a little. If you want my social security number too, it’s 108…”
“It’s okay,” you laughed, softly, for the first time in three days. “I guess knowing your surname is fine for now.”
He gave you a smile, but raised one eyebrow at you. Confused, you frowned, trying to understand what he meant until he pointed at you with his head, leading you to do the same as he did.
“Okay,” you started. “I’m Yn Sn. I work at Runaway Magazine as Sandra’s assistant, but I really want to be a journalist. I don’t have any tattoos because I’m afraid of needles, and I can’t choose a favorite book because I like too many.”
“Nice to meet you Yn Sn,” he greeted, extending his hand for you to shake.
“Nice to meet you too, Jason Todd. Now can you please take me home. I’m exhausted.”
“Alright,” he gave you a smirk. “Do you remember the address this time?”
He insisted on walking you to your door, wanting to make sure you actually got home safe. You didn’t know where he thought you could disappear to between the sidewalk and your apartment door, but you’d be lying if you said you weren’t starting to enjoy his company.
The elevator ride was silent, and neither of you spoke as you tried to unlock your front door.
“Thank god,” you said. Relief spread through you as the door opened and you got into your home. Immediately taking off your sneakers, you placed them by the door so they could keep it open for you. Looking back at Jason, who still didn’t dare step inside your apartment, you managed to give him a thankful smile. “And thank you too, Jason.”
“You don’t have to thank me. It’s not even the least I can do, it’s my responsibility now.”
“But still, thank you. There were many ways out for you, and you took none,” you explained, resting your shoulder on the door frame.
“Yn, you didn’t make this baby alone” he began. “I saw your state when you knocked on my door, and I also made you a promise. I don’t usually break them.”
For a brief minute, you two stood in silence again. Eyes lingering over each other. A recognizable tension in the air. You averted your eyes from him, as warmth engulfed your cheeks, the painted nails on your toes suddenly a lot more interesting to you.
“I’ll be going then. Call me if you need anything, alright?” he said, already halfway to the elevator.
“Jason,” you called and he turned back. Hopeful. “Do you even have my number?”
He stopped to think, and a dumb smile appeared on his face upon realizing he had never asked you for your number, nor did he ever give you his. Taking his phone out of his sweatpants pockets, he handed it to you. “If you don’t mind. I think I really should have your number.” He combed a hand through his hair.
You typed in your phone number, trying to think of what to write your name as, but concluding your name would be just fine. You gave yourself a call so you could save his too later, and returned him his cellphone.
He awkwardly waved you goodbye, and called the elevator that opened up instantly, not having left your floor since you had gotten home. You watched him as the door began to close, head hanging low and a tired demeanor.
“Jason?” you called again, and he put his hand on the door just as it was about to fully close. It opened again, and he placed his hands on each side of the door frame. “Thank you,” you said softly.
“Stop thanking me,” he laughed and now allowed the door to close.
You stood there, dumbfoundedly watching the closed door as you swiftly repeated the entire night in your head. Every moment of pain, despair and torture morphing into nervous expectation of the future that was about to come.
You didn’t allow yourself to think too much about it. An entire day was already enough, you needed rest.
A rumbling beside you grabbed your attention, and your head turned to your friend’s door. Nessie poked her head out, clearly surprised to see you there.
“Weren’t you on a trip?” she asked, and you shook your head, leaving her a lot more confused.
“There’s so much we need to talk,” you sighed, allowing your weight to fall on her as you engulfed her in a tight hug.
.
.
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* ayça ayşin turan . cis woman . she/her . / that’s dila öztekin walking into cup o' joes - you know , the 32 year old divorce attorney known for getting an award in 2022 for best lawyer in town ? having lived here for seventeen years , their neighbors know them to be hardworking & motivated , but their stubborn & very outspoken tendencies shine through when there are no buses in the city . - penned by dee. she/her. 26. gmt+1.
📎 : interactions , pinterest , wanted connections
hello hello-iessss, dee here ! & i’m super excited to write and plot with you all ! i reaaally love brainstorming and coming up with new ideas. probably will annoy you a loooot with musing posts 24/7 lmao so please never hesitate to message me for plotting. ( also never hesitate to ask me for plotting on discord too ! ) ♡ i should probably also mention that english isn’t my first language so please forgive me if i make any grammar/spelling mistakes !
⚠️ trigger warning! this bio contains subjects such as: cheating, mention of bullies, pregnancy, fear of commitment
* = means wanted connection !
BIOGRAPHY :
NAME : dila öztekin
MEANING OF NAME : dila means ‘heartfelt', öztekin means ‘someone unique’
NICKNAME(S) : di, didi
DATE OF BIRTH : january 25 1991 (32)
PLACE OF BIRTH : istanbul , turkey
PARENTS : bingül güçlü ( mother ), latif öztekin ( father )
SIBLINGS : 2 younger siblings
˒ ﹏ öztekin (30) * open
˒ ﹏ öztekin (30) * open
˒ ﹏ öztekin (30-32) half sibling * open - her younger siblings don’t know about their half sibling just yet, dila nor their mom ever told them.
( siblings fc suggestions: ilayda alişan, idris nebi taşkan, cemre baysel, gülderen güler, half sibling fc suggestions: ipek filiz yazıcı, afra saraçoğlu, neslihan atagül, deniz can aktaş, emre bey, melisa asli pamuk, özge ozacar, melisa döngel, hande erçel, bensu soral, rami narin / any fitting fc for her siblings wc is fine ! )
LANGUAGES : turkish & english
OCCUPATION : divorce attorney @ güçlü law firm. (güçlü means ‘strong’)
RELATIONSHIP STATUS : complicated*
( + ) positive traits : hardworking, motivated, empathetic
( - ) negative traits : stubborn, moody, impatient, very outspoken
AGE 2 - 10 :
dila was 2 when her twin-siblings were born. she had a hard time sharing her parents.
as dila got older, she took on more responsibility for her siblings, especially during her parents' arguments, often comforting and distracting them during difficult moments.
she turned eight and her father didn’t show up to her birthday party. she had waited and refused to blow the candles on her birthday cake until he’d show up. but he didn’t. later that night, when her mother had tucked her three kids in bed, she overheard her father’s voice from downstairs. she made her way out her room and sat on the stairs as she listened to their argument. she heard it all. her father had cheated on her mother and he had another child with another woman. happy birthday, dila.
after overhearing her parents' conversation, di assumed an even more significant role in caring for her siblings, as her mother distanced herself to not show her kids how upset or heartbroken she was.
AGE 11 - 20 :
her mother's law firm (which was a law firm that established by her grandfather) is one of turkey's best law firms, but her mother had gotten an amazing offer to grow her law firm even more and she took the opportunity. so the four of them moved to lakeview when dila had turned just 15 and the twins were 12 by then.
dila's high school experience was more positive than she had expected, with amazing grades and a bunch of friends.
she had a few boyfriends through the years but as soon as the subject of ‘future’ popped up, or ‘meeting parents’ she usually always had an excuse to excuse herself. or she’d just immediately change the subject. or was just straight up honest with them and mention that she didn’t saw a future with them just yet or maybe never would. it was painful, but the cold hard truth, right?
however, at the age of twenty, she met a guy, and they started dating. they seemed to share similar interests, which made dila feel more comfortable around him. they went out at night, laughed at each other's jokes, even if they were really bad. the topic of 'their future' didn't really come up in their conversations until she turned twenty-two, and he asked her to move in with him. she was a bit hesitant about the idea. but on the other hand, she liked the thought of gaining a bit more independence without her mother constantly telling her what to do. so, she agreed to move in, and a year later, she graduated.
AGE 21 - 32 :
after graduating she had a few different jobs; tba. until she started working at her mother's law firm.
at the age of twenty-four, dila began working at her mother's law firm. however, she started in a non-lawyer role because she lacked experience. she just did some paperwork and administrative tasks for her mother until she gained enough experience to work as a divorce attorney.
everything appeared to be going well until a month or two ago when dila and her boyfriend decided to part ways. things weren't really working out as they did before; they were arguing a lot. plus, the fact that dila is way too scared of 'official' commitment, like, getting married, added to the strain. dila was just overwhelmed with her emotions, especially because she had many cases involving divorces, which naturally made her reflect a lot. his proposal in that very moment to her didn't make the situation any easier for her. but what will make this separation between the two even more difficult is the fact that she recently found out she's pregnant.
RANDOM FACTS :
she’s very outspoken and always stands with her own argument (never get into an argument with her ksdjhfks)
when she was in high school, one of her classmates got bullied and she was the one to always stand up for her classmate and they have been best friends ever since.* most people from their school would be scared to be on bad terms with her because she usually always had something to say
she’s really hardworking, she probably also has a home office. if she isn’t at her office @ the law firm she’s probably working at her home office. even if it’s 2am
she has never mentioned to her siblings that they have another sibling out there
LIKES / DISLIKES :
likes: taking long walks in the park / wine / milkshakes / coffee / crime tv shows or movies / reading books / sitting on her balcony and watching the stars for hours / satin dresses / fresh flowers on her desk / large windows / big cities / photography / being creative (usually goes to random workshops in her free time to take her mind off) / organising her pantry or her files
dislikes: people who usually lie, even if it’s white lies / loud and noisy people / snoring / chocolate / neon colours / someone speaking for her / weddings / romcoms / tea / when someone tells her what to do / when someone tries to convince her / when someone tries to confront her
if you’re interested in plotting with me, hit the ♡ button and i’ll come and bother you! or you can always send me a message, too. i also am on discord so if you feel like plotting on there we totally can!
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Please see below the scenarios for E.T Fest! These are simply prompts to get your characters interacting with new muses, some fun ideas to push you and your characters from your comfort zones. Allocations are below the cut.
Please don’t feel constrained to the below — they are starting blocks to give you ideas of how to interact with fresh faces.
All these scenarios have been randomly assigned so, if you don’t think they fit with your muse or if there are any problems, please let us know!
Participation in the below is not mandatory.
However, what is mandatory is that you reach out to at least one character you have not interacted before during your time in Roswell.
THE KIDS ARE BACK
You’re enjoying watching your favorite artist play on the main stage, when a child tugs on your shirt with tears in their eyes! It looks like you’ve been chosen to return them to their parents, having lost their guardian in the excitement of the festival. Feeling a twinge of parental instinct your muses band together in order to reunite the child with their company, even if it takes trawling through the entirety of the field to find them. Please tag all interactions with #etf.thekidsareback — Ian Cahill + Isaias Cabrera + Nora Huynh + Jaden Lapointe + Poppy Dupont + Ramona Colby + Winter Carver + Stevie Novo.
SWEATER WEATHER
It’s a wardrobe disaster! Your character spent all month looking for the perfect ensemble for E.T festival, and now a ‘Free Hugs’ guy has covered your outfit in beer, glitter and god knows what else. It’s up to your muses to find something alternative (and equally as stylish) to wear before the next act comes on, whether that’s stealing somebody’s jacket while they’re not looking, buying some of the awesome new merchandise, or fashioning a bralette out of aluminium foil and paper towels. Please tag all interactions with #etf.sweaterweather — Zoren Reyes, Olivia “Liv” Sunar, Fletcher Liu, Lara Fitzgerald, Mickey Cannon, Rose Anong, Adrienne Gano.
LOVE & PRIDE
Your characters meet each other in the middle of the Pride march after getting separated from their usual group of friends, and band together to create some eye-catching signs and some new chants to bring cheer to the festivities. With your flags, face paint or some E.T festival merch, you’re showing your Pride and ally-ship by screaming the festival down. Lets hope you don’t get separated from each other too! Please tag all interactions with #etf.loveandpride — Maristella De León, Zoe Lovel, Xiomara Cordova, Sparrow Moore, Jack Huxley, Breanne Samaya, Quentin Dupre, Sophie Jones.
THE GREAT ESCAPE
Your character’s festival wristband has fallen off in a particularly sweaty mosh pit and now, after leaving the festival grounds (for a cigarette, a sit down, or some food that didn’t require a loan to buy) you’re refused entry. Your muses have to find a way back into the festival without being spotted by security and banned for the rest of the night. Will you band together and ensure you slip beneath the radar undetected, or rush the gates in one mad dash for success? All you know is one thing — you’re not missing the headliner. Please tag all interactions with #etf.thegreatescape — Jovi Dicamillo, Theo Fischers, Juniper Green, Artemis Wallis, Suraj Das, Astra Osorio, Gunner Dunn.
THE ROCK SHOW
Your character’s favourite artist is performing at E.T Festival! You really enjoyed their set, but now you’re desperate to meet them and it seems you can’t find them anywhere at the festival. You decide to formulate a plan to sneak backstage and it works, but the backstage area is too big, and now you’re lost, Is that a security guard coming toward you? Oh no, come up with an excuse, quick! Maybe that innocent bystander will help you come up with a get-out? Please tag all interactions with #etf.therockshow — Deniz Ersoy, Connor “Soggy” Braxton, Emmett Moore, Sebastian “Seb” Ortiz, Simba ‘Sim’ Gano, Riggs Maddow, Selena Suksai.
KARMA CHAMELEON
Your character is hyping themselves up to perform on the local talent stage where, between acts, there is a karaoke machine to make use of. The crowd that gathered is a little too large for their liking, and they need hyping up to be able to pick a song and, finally, actually get the guts to perform it! Fill this muse with heightened self confidence or shred what little self-esteem they have left by throwing them into the deep end; the choice is up to you. Just, please, don’t sing Wonderwall! Please tag all interactions with #etf.karmachameleon — April Winslow, Darryon Sims, Serena Miller, Ender Baptista, Nao Chiba, Alara Zorlu, Juliette “Jett” Moore, Wylie Fyfe.
AMERICAN PIE
Your character promised they’d help a friend run their food truck for a brief stint as they enjoy a break to grab some water and use the facilities. They vowed they’d be back in twenty minutes, but the clock is ticking.. The queue is doubling, there’s the smell of smoke in the air, your favorite artist is only minutes away and your festival outfit reeks of grease. Will you make an excuse and go running into the sunset with a hot-dog burdened stranger, or will you enlist the help of an observer to relieve the tension. Please tag all interactions with #etf.americanpie — Lance Cannon, Adiya Kaur, Avery Cooper, Holly Berne, Rollo Moore, Amavi Rosales, Alev Özberk.
CELEBRITY STATUS
Time seems to stand still when you’re at the festival. Your character (and their friends) have stopped off to take a breather, but whilst enjoying the June heat they notice.. wait.. isn’t that? Is that one of the headliners, stumbling through the crowds in a daze? Turns out one of the billed artists has had a little too much to drink backstage and has been unleashed out into the real world. It’s now your responsibility, whether you like it or not, to babysit the celebrity and return them to the rest of the band, but not without having a little fun first. Please tag all interactions with #etf.celebritystatus — Imogen Xu, Caroline Davis, Aofie Gallagher, Rhys Taylor, Jurriaan Knight, Manuel ‘Manu’ Gonzáles, Brook Tumanday.
VAMPIRE MONEY
Whilst in the queue to buy some much-anticipated merchandise, your character puts their hand int heir pockets to realise their money has disappeared. What can they do? Perhaps they leave the queue to try and track down their wallet or a few singles caught in the wind, or perhaps a silver tongue could help them sway a few bucks from the person in front of them. Either way, it’s going to be a long night without a dime to their name, and that E.T fest t-shirt would just look great on them. Please tag all interactions with #etf.vampiremoney — Lonette Hastings, Aryan Chabra, Maya Åhlund, Victoria Adsuar, Archie MacMillan, Dilan Sunar, Alicia Molina-Cordova.
FAT LIP
Your character has been having perhaps a little too much fun at the festival, dancing away the afternoons and evenings without a care in the world. It turns out your mother’s vows of drinking enough water and ensuring you’re wearing enough sunscreen weren’t pointless, after all. You’ve been banished to the medical tent and told to stay inside until you feel 100%, to drink water and enjoy a snack (on the house) to replenish lost energy. Time to make some new friends to pass the time — blowing up latex gloves and pretending you’re a cockerel is always endless fun, right? Please tag all interactions with #etf.fatlip — Bryce Sirilan, Matilda “Mattie” Laurent, Mei Xuan, Striker Cannon, Bridget Matusiak, Weston Davis, Joseph Berne.
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