#(Shit the tears came back.)

[zhukzubast]

Congrats on becoming a yonko, Buggy!!! Yippee!!!!!!!

#buggy #buggy the clown #one piece episode 1086 #buggy yonko #one piece fanart #one piece #this episode did things to me #as much as Buggy had most of this coming i feel bad that his friends turned their backs on him #like yeah he's a piece of shit but he deserves at least one genuine friend #i'm fresh off Marineford and he teared up when he saw his crew came back for him #UGH I'M HAVING FEELINGS ABOUT THIS CLOWN HELP

[megane-sama]

Tears literally blurring up my vision as i post this. This was hands down, one of the (if not) best episode we've been given so far and it was so worth the wait.

#no literally tears in my eyes #my dad came to talk with me and reminded me exactly why im watching a show like Buddy Daddies at 21 #you can imagine how i felt immediately coming back from that to watch two fathers and their kid be happy #may be if mine was more like them we couldve been happier #ah i ended saying sad shit in the tags again lmao #fml #buddy daddies #episode 9

[ialwaysknewyouwerepunk]

.

#these past two weeks have been so intense that ive just.. not spoken about it once i got home from work #blocked it all out #my beloved colleague whose desk is next to mine has cancer #breast and uterus. she needs two major surgeries #they just diagnosed her two weeks ago #so we've been trying to deal with that as colleagues and friends #because we love and miss her and i am so deeply sad as well #but i feel like i couldn't process that at all bc two days after the news of her diagnosis i was asked to take on half of her work #on top of my fulltime #which i agreed to do bc i like her tasks and i want to help her and i also know i can do it #but it does feel very off bc i know i don't earn enough money for this workload to be long term and it is def like this #for the coming four months at least #so i did tell my manager that i would like a raise and. that bitch told me to BUY MORE SECOND HAND SHIT. #i seriously thought i saw my life flash before my eyes #then the day after she asked one of my colleagues who's been with the firm for over 30 years whether she was looking for another job maybe? #which caused that colleague to instantly go home in tears and be home from basically a nervous breakdown the past 1.5 week #which is her full right and i support her with all my heart but bc my management sucks it meant that we had to also carry her tasks ofc #i felt soooo spread thin and super super angry actually but i didn't even realise how angry i was until last thursday my colleague w cancer #came by the office. and talked about all of it. and i suddenly realised how sad i was but then also how angry #but i was just blocking it all out trying to stay afloat #bc we told her about what the manager had said and she said “i hope that i get the chance to really tell her how it is someday.” #“because the stress she causes with people can actually kill you. just look at me.” #and the rest of the day i felt so ready to be done with everything actually #but seeing her anger made me see my own anger #and released me of my own pent up emotions bc i had actual leg pains this week and it was purely psychosomatic #i then managed to tell some friends yesterday about what was going on and their outrage spurred me on even more #so today i emailed hr. demanding a raise #doing this amount of work while constantly feeling like the house is on fire while also struggling financially seriously makes me suicidal #and i am not joking #so.. if nothing comes of that im leaving that job and not looking back

[crmsndragonwngss]

When we were made

It was no accident

We were tangled up like branches in a flood

I come as a blade

A sacred guardian

So you keep me sharp and test my worth in blood

#tunes #will ramos #nik nocturnal #sleep token #HOLY FUCKING SHIT #them deathcore vocals took me fucking OUT #wish there’d been more tho #will and nik are both such goddamn talented artists #and I would’ve loved to see something more than what was more or less a one to one cover #like listen will’s cleans are GORGEOUS and I love getting to see him really let loose #but I woulda loved to have seen a real metalcore cover of this song #the dissonance started in the chorus and will started in on the harshes and I came up out of my fucking chair #and I was so stoked like holy shit Y E S tear that fucking shit UP BABY #but then it went back to what was basically a karaoke cover #and like… I’m not gonna say I’m disappointed cuz it’s a great cover of a great song #but it had the potential to be something really special #and I think it fell a little short #the harshes sounded like they were only put in because they knew folks would expect it #but again great cover seriously #and I mean that #I just wish it wasn’t just a straight up one to one cover #it woulda been nice to hear will and nik’s styles come out #instead of hearing vessel with a will ramos twist #Spotify

[hussyknee]

Hate being triggered. Anyone who disagrees with you becomes a Threat™, even the people you love. It's even harder when your threat response is "kill or die trying".

"Don't see an avalanche in a snowflake" okay but I still want to murder the snowflake in the face!!

#gonna rip my skin off #wish I hate a giant raw steak to tear to pieces with my teeth like a wolf #and then my OCD starts to turn the knife back on me like ''Actually YOU'RE the problem'' #having to argue against the most bad faith possible interpretation of what I'm actually saying inside my own head #and then suddenly wondering if the bad faith reading I came up with myself is actually the correct one #and if I'm ACTUALLY Bad and Disgusting #aaaaaaaaaaaarrghhhh #why did I put off getting therapy for this shit again? #oh yeah the trauma conga line that is my life #actually ocd #actually CPTSD #triggers #mental illness #knee of huss

[hecksupremechips]

Actually cry so goddamn hard when I think about Shinjiro Aragaki healing and being loved and having to learn to be okay with himself and being taken care of

#writing him has just been like. OOOOWOEOEOEOOE i piss tears i cant handle this shit this gay ass shit #i came up with an idea for just like a cute short one shot i wanna do soon and hnnnghh im so emo about it #very healing its like very hard to write some of the shit im gonna be writing cuz basically #some of it is just a little too real man and while i crave the angst and the drama i am just like #AND THEN EVERYONE HOLDS HANDS AND ITS OKAY PLEASE DONT CRY PLEASE #and ive mentioned how shinji has accidentally become nb to me now because i just kinda happened to write him that way without meaning to #and now another thing im noticing is that in my fic hes kinda bpd coded #it definitely wasnt intentional but now im accepting it as truth no one can stop me #i just really need him to be happy its more important to me than anything else man i need it for me #and he needs to be gay with aki they need to kissy and i think its funny cuz even in the parts where shinji is mad at aki and pushing him #away its like. he kinda has it bad lol and its clear he feels no actual hatred towards aki but more just self deprecation because he doesnt #feel good enough and like idk i just think about their respective roles in society like #aki is an honor student star boxer hero very attractive very kind very popular got adopted by a rich family #hes going places you know meanwhile shinji is a drop out who never had a family ever hes homeless hes sketchy hes on drugs #his reputation couldnt be any worse and he just leans into it and feels he has no future and hes worthless garbage #and aki could literally have anyone he wants you know he has an army of girls pining over him but he doesnt want them #HE WANTS SHINJI AND NO ONE ELSE HE SPENDS YEARS CHASING AFTER HIM #and shinji HATES it hes trying so hard to push him away and be the crusty delinquent and make aki see how worthless he really is #but aki just doesnt stop he loves him so much makes me sick SICK #and shinji really loves him back hes like not gonna shut up ever about aki hes like either doing it in a gay ass annoyed way #or hes like ‘haha omg aki is so cute though hes always trying so hard to be tough but hes just so sweet and gentle you know i hope he #doesnt push himself too hard if he got hurt id fall apart hes so silly i hope hes eating good i desire him carnally’ #yeah sorry gamers this is just a pairing i cant be normal about they mean so much to me personally the fate of the world rests upon them

[hotgirlmuseboardxo]

hours without crying: 0

hahahahahahahahahagahahagahahahah

#i started thinking about this time when i hugged someone i rly love ………… like i feel that shit in my heart chakra #that memory is my safe space <3 i think it’s when my soul came back to life #i don’t even think these r my tears like so much of what i feel lately doesn’t belong to me but im transmuting it #which is exhausting bc feeling makes me saur sleepy and i’m a busy girl 🥸 #👼🏻

[theblehthatbloos]

I'm out of the hospital, turns out I have some kind of emotional trauma that's making my body try to suffocate itself, honestly same but what a bitch way to do it. Making it so I can barely breathe but I still have 99% oxygen and my vitals are good. Fuckin' hell dude. Anyways wish me luck in figuring that out, didn't make a lot of progress crying in the parking lol at 4am while waiting for an Uber after the news that my mind and body have disconnected or something, but check the bracelet swag

Nice

#hell yeah #im going to explode #literally i was so chill #i do get stressed at work but i love my job #i had a really bad dating experience the month before but that's not it i think #i was waiting for my uber home while still suffocating and some random dude started playing music #i have no idea what the lyrics were #i dont even think it was English #but i was thinking about how frustrated i was and i felt my face get wet #just uncontrollable tears #4 minutes straight of crying #head looking up and wiping away every few seconds #paused so my driver didn't see me sobing but they did here me sniffing and trying yo breathe. not the best look #got upstairs and home #picked up a back of nerd candy and i fell apart #ive been chill for atleast a week #yeah i couldn't breathe but nothing came up #alll of this to say... #it was April 2nd #and unless my bodys a prankster #the only other thing from today was the end of the boop #i miss the boop so much #not it but holy shit it brings a little silly smile #boop

[bylertruther]

not to be a person with a brain, but it's so insane to me that there are people that think a ship where X feels unloved and like Y thinks of her and looks at her like a monster, and where Y can't tell X that he loves her romantically until his best friend confesses his feelings under her name that are a 100% contradiction to the feelings X told him in their literal last conversation is, like... somehow healthy, compatible, and loving lol.

"you think i'm a monster" and "you're being ridiculous" omg 😍 relationship goals! Y gives X a speech where she can't respond whatsoever and tells her she's a superhero because all he knows about her is her powers not who she is as a person and X doesn't talk to him afterward and those shippers are like 🥰😍🥺🥳💘💞💕 just because they smiled at each other for two seconds before that. like. HUH?!?!

you like the ship where Y can't be emotionally available or intimate with X, his girlfriend that he's been with for over a year now btw, because he's too busy giving that to and receiving tht from his boy bestie? you like the ship where X lies to Y about everything in her life because she feels like he wouldn't like her if she didn't live up to the infallible superhero he views her as? the ship where they don't share similar interests or dreams? the ship where they've never once had a meaningful or real conversation? the ship where X describes Y as her first boyfriend and that Y describes as dumb luck (compared to his friendship with his boy bestie being the best thing he's ever done)? that's the ship you like and think is peak romance?! 🤨

#good luck 2 those ppl n their romantic endeavors bc if my partner treated me like tht they wouldn't be my partner lol #relationships should be abt trust friendship n shared interests/wants/goals #u should be with someone bc they make u and ur life better not bc u need them to survive #u should be with someone that makes u feel better abt urself not someone tht makes u feel like a loser #like. literally WHAT #i understand epic cringefail marriages like t0msh!v which are great bc they're both awful ppl n it's wonderful to watch them tear each #other down but milkvan are both good ppl ... who are hurting each other bc they're too afraid to be who they are / dont like who they are #or bc they simply don't know any better or differently bc they only came into this world like two years ago or whatever LOL #like. i just don't see the appeal at this point in the game when they literally are not happy #they had a sweet moment in the pizza shop bc they weren't under any romantic obligations #they were just being sweet to each other like normal friends #but when they have to be Boyfriend and Girlfriend that's when it all goes to shit canonically #like. just HUH !!!! #mine #anyway. back 2 studying if u see me here then beat me back with a broom or smth

[ace-with--a-mace]

i still cant believe they nerfed my guy mike wheeler like that, that's not my boy

#its bringing tears to my eyes actually #youre telling me that mike wheeler who noticed that when will came back to school after being dema-napped was quieter than the norm #mike wheeler who spent almost every moment with will and spending almost every night near will the moment will got mindflayed #mike wheeler who said and i quote becoming friends with you that day on the swingset was the best decision i ever made #mike wheeler standing up to irrelevant ass troy (?) when he was talking shit about will during his memorial in the gym #mike 'youre like a superspy will!' wheeler wills best friend #wasnt paying attention to will being extra emotional talking about his girl and wasnt writing to will whenever he could #and wasnt honoring the promise he made with will to not join another dnd party #and didnt make a point to hang out with his best friend and girl while at the roller rink during break??? #wheres my sweet little boy who cares for his friends and would go against law enforcement the gov and his parents to go to hell and back- #- for will and any of his friends???? what have you done to him cuz s3&4 mike wheeler is not the mike i knoe #l speaks #shut up l #hes in there somewhere someone just has to knock him straight because right now hes a douche a bit of a dick and a massive idiot and #its fucking killing me #mike wheeler #will byers #byler #stranger things spoilers #stranger things #stranger things season 4 #stranger things season 4 volume 2 #st s4 vol 2 #its so hard being a mike wheeler supporter when he keeps making shitty moves and his whole personality shrunk to being el's boyfriend #if i could smack him in the back of the head and set him straight i would i really would cuz s1&2 mike is in there somewhere #i miss anti mouth breather mike sososo much guys #idk if these shouldve stayed in tags but

[michi-chelle]

“but i fear that they already got all the best parts of me” goes so hard

#if only this song came out like 6 years ago lol #i’m also nearing the end of season 2 of my free! rewatch and gosh haru’s conflict hits closer to home than ever #and idk if i’m just getting more emotional lately but makoto and haru’s fight in ep 11 deadass made me tear up #when will i stop relating to teenagers real or fictional lmao #part of me wishes i was still a teenager just because being a teenager would explain my sense of purposelessness in everything i do #like taking things one day at a time with a blurry future on a road leading to nowhere #but others having high expectations from you and being sad seeing you so lost #but you just don’t want to let go of what you have now #you don’t want to box your passions in what other people want from you #and going back to the lyrics of the song #you feel like there’s not much you can offer anymore ‘cause you were a ‘gifted’ kid and now you’re just an ordinary person #whose gone complacent to the disappointment of everyone who wants to see you succeed but you feel you don’t have it in you #so again you’re just floating through life trying to enjoy the blessings each day brings again with no clear goal #anyway idk what i’m writing #at the same time i’m glad i’m not a teenager anymore ‘cause that shit sucked #but being a grown adult sucks ass too #i know there doesn’t need to be any purpose in life but #i feel like things’ll be easier if i did have a dream #guess i need a best friend to take me to another country or something to inspire me or something #in other words i’m about to watch one of my fave free eps where rin and haru go to australia #anyway i’m rambling #michi yaps

[nivq87]

related thoughts:

my butterfly chasing has me tinkering with my tumblr blog page, and it's a wip atm (the html needs a LOT of adjusting atm) and my about and tags pagers are pretty out of date. so, I'll try and work on that over the week I suppose

my complaining tag hasn't been used in a few years. at first I thought I was just trying harder to keep the negativity off my blog (which I also do) but then I was actually reading some of the posts and. oh gosh. those were some Big emotions I was dealing with. Glad to not be That guy anymore. Your 20's really just kinda suck, but since you're out of your teens it feels unfair because you should be Beyond such angst. but. nope. apparently it'll keep going a bit longer. Fascinating collection of posts over the years as a retrospective.

#ftr the complaining tag isn't and won't ever be listed in the tags page #while I'm working on these I might also go back and make them all nonrebloggable too #probably my covid whining could've gone in the complaining tag #but like it sucked but the timing of it was so atrociously bad I kinda also came back around to being funny. #one of those posts that i was looking through from when I was... I guess about 24ish? #idr what the context was but I was apparently mad at my family to the point of being invited to leave #and i elected to sit there visibly and uncomfortably seething so that my upset could be witnessed. #I just DO NOT have that kinda energy anymore lmao? #which is a relief #I don't think I'll ever Like my birthday but maybe now that I don't have the energy for such Big Feelings #about shit that doesn't actually matter. that maybe my birthday introspection can keep this kinda tone going forward. #I don't mind this kind of thing. it's interesting for sure to look back #but so many of my birthdays in my 20's I just was so depressed and those feelings of like #wasting my life away and not doing EVERYTHING #getting another ticker on my age tally right when the calendar really compounded that feeling #so many of those birthdays were spent on crying jags. like. covid. but I didn't cry this year! woo! and I just teared up slightly last year #growth! I hope! #why am i rambling

[ekwolfwood]

Did i just mute someone on insta purely for calling themselves a purist of the OG trigun show vs the new adaptation? You fucking bet.

The kicker? I will proably agree with at least 95% of their rant if i ever get around to trying the new show. My expectations were already super low!

....but jfc when your language over a fandom starts being juuuust shy of gatekeeping, i've had it.

I wasnt gifted the name Wolfwood and used it for almost a decade, and my dad wasn't aggressively hit on by the only Vash cosplayer in our area for three straight years circa 2003-2005, to hear someone gatekeeping.

I was there too! DVD players were ~brand new technology~ and anime cons were just hitting their first real north american boom. You're not special for loving 90s/early 00s anime, and i dont care if this adaptation is actually hot garbage, if it brings new (respectful, of course) fans to the old mediums, THATS NOT A BAD THING.

Let the show be trash! Adaptations often are! I dont care! I'm just happy to see it back in any sort of popularity even for a moment!

But the moment you call yourself a purist of anything you should take a real close look at your actions, because alienating those with the same interests as you stopped being cute about 20+ years ago. (No matter your intentions, it will -always- reek of 'oh, you think you're a reAL fan???')

(i know this person was probably just ranting, but they came for my fucking NAME with this)

#housekeeping #hi its 2023 and im back #hit a real downward spiral of thinking i wasnt allowed to love things anymore or ever talk about myself #but fuck that #this came for my fucking name and i want to tear someones throat out with my teeth #i also wanted to bring back my og wolfwood cosplay #but now i dont know if i dare #(and also because remaking the punisher would cost a SHIT TON of dollars in foam) #the biggest point of this whole counter rant is also that i dont even have crunchyroll 🤣

[a-luran]

Holy shit thay is absolutely rotten behaviour. You should tell someone so they can go rock her shit because she needs it. A friend or colleague or anything, family, boss, random grandma, it literally doesn't matter but someone needs to go and have a word with her if yours won't work. You're not a coward, anyone would want to avoid that sort of interaction, I'd run from the entire building. That woman is fucking vile. I'm so sorry about this

i appreciate it. some of my friends know because they overheard and I explained. unfortunately there is not much to be done. the friends that do very deeply mind have been very helpful in listening to the details and helping me work out how to move past it. I would love to believe that one day she'll face some kind of consequence, if not for this then for her bigotted attitudes and her callousness towards other people but i really hold no illusions about what people see when they see her and how little people actually care to rock the boat.

#the fact that i am trans played a big role in this whole affair in deeply personal way that is mortifying tbh #the day she was shouting that shit in my ear of what she does in her private time I had not even an hour prior mind you #been shouted out and chased out of the men's toilet in a public place. i was still wet in the face because i couldn't hold back the tears #i have text messages saved that are pretty incriminatory but she plays things off as jokes and i was so convinced that i'd egged this on #i showed them to my best friend first who encouraged me to bring them up next time i saw a friend i had in common with this woman #nothing ever came of it and i simply felt very childish in the end. i saw that group of friends one more time and then never again #and the texts themselves are mortifying to read through again i never want to see them again if i can help it #every single time i challenged her in writing she would double down and i was so frantic i just ended up writing one apology after another #we learn and move on lads

[pinkkittysaw]

why couldn’t ffxvi have come out like before last november?

#angel's altar 💒 #this romance shit with clive and jill aches in my heart #out here tearing up #idk i don’t like to be dramatic but i get so weepy eyed at romance more than i did before the year started #i am forever changed as a person #THE WAY CLIVE SAYS “i love you jill” #i’ll never recover i fear #JILL SAYING SHE PRAYED TO METIA AND CLIVE CAME BACK TO HER!!!!!!!!! 😵😵😵😵😵😵

[alilaro]

i keep doing this thing with my chronic pain, where i need to rest my body for a good while before i can move on, but i get to the final few days where im like 'oh this isnt so bad' and go back like everythings fine, but i havent fully healed so it just resets and the pain comes back again, and then rinse and repeat again until im in my grave

#aka i put my back out a week ago bc i lifted furniture (which im not supposed to do AT ALL) and it got so bad i had to go to emergency #and im on meds so it numbs it and i think its fine so i just get up and continue despite obviously being peak fucked up #bc im an IDIOT #tldr my nausea and back pain all came back in my sleep to kick the shit out of me and now im crying many tears of sad