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dsireland86 · 3 months

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The Things We Could Never Change

PART 2 OF THERE IS BEAUTY IN THE PAIN

Chapter 1

tags: @lma1986 @nyxthedestroyerofworlds @missduffsblog @bngurngheart @thatamazingvampirestory @myownthoughts12 @badomensls

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****warnings: sexual content and language

NOAH AND SOPHIE HAVE MOVED ON FROM THE PAIN AND FOUND THE BEAUTY THAT COMES THROUGH TRUST AND LOVE.THE PAST IS NEVER REALLY THE PAST AND THE FUTURE IS UNKNOW.THE ONLY THING THEY BELIEVE IN IS THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT THE OTHER THAT THET'RE SCARED TO LOOSE BECAUSE THEY KNOW THEY'LL NEVER FIND IT IN ANYONE ELSE.MAYBE LOVE REALLY IS THE DEATH OF PEACE OF MIND.

--Link to Chapter 2 Pt.1 at the bottom--

Sophie:

It was going to take some time for me to adapt to this new life, this new way of thinking, and accept what was happening to me was authentic.

Because of all the years of mental and physical abuse I suffered at the hands of a man who I thought loved me, all the damage that had been done to my mind and my emotions was worse than I imagined. I was closed off, became scared, and untrusting about Noah's true intentions for me. I became mean; even aggressive at times, and that would usually lead to fights and arguments that were never intentional.

Later I would come to my senses, realizing what I'd done, and when I looked for him, hoping he would accept my apologies, I always found him; arms opened ready to hold me and tell me that it was okay and that he understood, refusing to admit if I'd hurt him. Noah had become my saving grace.

But I knew better than to believe him. Noah was a pro at masking his pain which always made me feel worse. I was creating wounds in him; wounds he didn't deserve, yet he always begged me to stay. He never pushed me away or made me feel like anything I did was my fault and I couldn't understand why. To me, at certain times, giving someone a second chance was like giving them an extra bullet for the gun they held to your heart because they didn't hit you hard enough the first time. I didn't want that to be the case with me and Noah. I didn't want to be the reason for any of his pain.

We were together, making it clear we didn't anyone else. He didn't want to see me with anyone else, and I didn't feel safe with anyone else. I loved the way Noah cared for me and his overprotectiveness never bothered me. I welcomed it, with open arms and a grateful heart.

To the public we were nothing. No one ever noticed anything and we liked it that way. But to the band and crew, his family, Noah made sure they knew and they liked it that way. It was crazy how quickly they become my family too and helped fix the parts of me I thought were too fucked up to be fixed.

Noah became my everything and as each day passed, I found myself falling harder for him; something I thought would never be possible. What was growing between us was more than just a passing feeling or satisfactory highs; it was deeper, stronger, almost ethereal. He had become my safe place, my tower, and the daily reminder that even though I lived through hell for a good part of my life, heaven was achievable. I just had to be patient.

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I could feel his tall, dominant presence before I even felt his long arms snake around my body, pulling me in closer to him. My bottom hung halfway off the stool I was sitting on and I knew that if he let go of me, I would fall flat on my back. But I had faith in Noah; I trusted him, more than I trusted myself, so I let myself relax, laying my head against his hard chest and allowing his long, spider-like fingers to inch their way under my shirt in search of the soft flesh at the top they were looking for. I forced back moans that were begging to escape, refusing to give Noah the satisfaction of knowing how badly I wanted him at the moment. My skin was burning, my heart was racing, and my sex was aching to feel him. I didn't care who was in the house at that moment. I needed Noah now.

"You feel like fucking heaven under my fingertips, Princess," Noah whispered in my ear, trailing hungry kisses from my jaw to my collarbone. "And you smell so fucking good. I want to eat every part of you," lightly dragging his tongue over my skin and nipping every inch that his lips came in contact with. This time I uttered a soft moan after hearing the pet name he gave me the very first time we were intimate on that gray couch in his studio. The things he did to me that day, the way he made me feel; just thinking about it did things to me and the proof was right between my legs.

Noah groaned, deep and low, pulling me back into the moment as he nuzzled my neck.

"Oh baby, fuck girl you've got me so hard right now I just want to devour you," Noah growled, finally moving his hand under my sports bra to message the pebble flesh beneath it. I bucked when his fingers pinched my nipple, causing me to bite my lower lip harder than I meant to and I hissed.

"You okay?" he asked leaning over and meeting my cheek with his.

"Yeah," I huffed a small laugh, throwing my hand behind his head and pushing his face closer to mine.

"I want your lips and your tongue in my mouth," I demanded. Turning my head to look at him partially, Noah smiled and kissed the tip of my nose before touching my lips with his fingertips, sliding them down my throat, and landing on the soft mound of my breast. He squeezed, making me grunt, and continued making his way down until it slid under the waistband of my sweats.

"I want these lips," he muttered, reaching further down until he found what he was looking for. I drew in a deep breath when I felt his fingers graze over my middle, causing me to whimper, "I wanna feel how wet you are for me," rubbing my sex with his hand, pushing hard against it and making the muscles in my thighs tighten around his hand. I cried out, overwhelmed by the feeling he was creating in me.

Noah wasn't wasting any time in letting me know what he wanted, and I could tell by the urgent way his fingers grabbed at the flesh between my thighs, gripping and stroking, that this was all a way for him to cover up something that his mind was having a hard time processing. And because he wasn't good with using his emotions or words, he needed me to help; that's why he came to me like this; flustered yet sensual enough to not make me not feel like a toy.

"Are you okay," I asked softly, locking my fingers around the one hand he still had locked tight under my shirt. His cheek rested against the side of my head and the pressure of his clenched jaw told me he was holding back words.

"How do you do that? How do you know when I'm not alright?"

His voice quivered, giving away his softer side, and my heart suddenly hurt. Something was wrong and he needed a distraction.

Without speaking and no longer interested in answering his question, I reached behind me and brought my hands to his neck, sliding them up the sides, behind the back of his head, and through his freshly cut hair, tugging him down a little more so I could have access to his lips.

Noah's quiet moans were my weakness. They had become my validation that I was good at making him happy and satisfied, and as I slid my tongue into his mouth and tasted the faint flavor of mint, they got a little louder.

"I like the taste of your lips," I mumbled in between kisses and felt his lips curl up into what I knew to be his precious smile.

His body tightened around me, his hand between my thighs squeezing my sex some more and making me squirm.

"Noah, please...," I begged. The coiling tension between us was too much and I was losing my will to fight him with every move he made on my body. "You know I hate it when you tease me like this."

"If you hate it so much, then why are you moaning for me?" he cooed, stroking my neck with his fingers, before wrapping them lightly around it, squeezing.

"Shit, Noah, please,"

I swallowed hard, despite the grip he had on my throat, my nerves on fire, quickly losing all composure. Noah, once again, had me chasing my climax.

"Please, what baby? What do you want from me?" releasing the chokehold on my neck and circling a spot on the side with his finger. Leaning down he sucked on my skin so hard that I winced. He already knew what I wanted; he always did.

"You want me to touch you?" once he was satisfied with the mark he left on me.

I nodded.

His fingers finally worked their way under my panties, tugging them aside, and sliding between my wet folds, stroking the very spot he knew would have me begging for his mercy.

"Say it, princess, tell me what you want me to do." Noah's plea sounded just as desperate as mine.

I was panting, completely ruined and vulnerable in Noah's hands, and he knew exactly what he was doing and if he didn't touch me soon, I would make him.

"Please t-t-touch me, Noah, fuck please," I whined, tightening my grip around his neck

He huffed a small laugh and hugged me tighter.

"What, like this, is this what you want," sliding one long finger deep between the crevices of folds and pushing into me.

I softly cried out, dropping my hands from around his neck and wrapping them around his legs, digging my nails into the tender flesh of his thighs, as his fingers pumped in and out of the center of my pleasure.

Noah drew in a short breath through his teeth, removing his hand from under my shirt and wrapping it around my throat again.

"Is that your mark on me, baby?"

"Maybe."

"Your nails fucking hurt."

Noah's wet lips crashed into mine and our tongues met, starving for the taste of one another's. The sounds that escaped me; soft whimpers, short, breathless moans, were different than times before; they were desperate and dangerous.

"I guess we're even then. Sucking my skin isn't as comfortable as you might think," I sassed, meeting his eyes. They were dark and firey, threatening something more than what he was already doing to me.

"That's it, I'm gonna make you fucking cum for me," he growled, grabbing my hand and pulling it back behind me so hard that I yelped.

"Oh shit, baby, I'm sorry. I didn't me,"

"I'm fine, Noah. I'm fine. Please, just keep going. Finish me off."

He was concerned, worried he'd hurt me or triggered some painful memory. But the difference between when Noah was rough and when Perry was rough was that Noah only wanted to please me whereas Perry only wanted to hurt me.

Taking my hand, more gentle this time, he placed it on his hard cock that was pressed firmly against my back.

"That's where your hand stays until I make you cum. If you remove it, I stop," sliding another finger inside me and using his thumb to make the magic circles he knew would have me cuming on his fingers in a matter of seconds. I completely collapsed into him, throwing my head back against his chest, so that he was the only thing keeping me up. His fingers slid in and out of me, thrusting so far up I could see stars, making me cry out in the most satisfying way possible, as his fingers continued curling and twisting inside me

"Shit, Sophie, I can feel you, God you're so fucking wet for me," he panted, throwing his hand to my neck once more, but this time squeezing hard. My oxygen was suppressed and as Noah continued plunging his two long fingers in and out of me, my vision began to grow hazy, but I never removed my hand. I grabbed what I could and pressed him tighter in my hand slightly moving his length around.

Noah's moans hit me right in my soaking wet core.

"I know. Please don't stop Noah. You've got me, I'm almost there," I cried breathlessly, rolling my hips to make him go deeper.

"I love making you feel this way, Sophie. I love knowing I'm the only one who gets to watch you fuck my fingers like this." My cries were closer together and I knew was just about there.

"And when you're ready, inside of your walls is where I want to be, thrusting my cock inside the tight folds of your broken mind and penetrating the sweet softness that is you, until I release all my love deep inside you. I'll fuck every part of him out of your mind Sophie."

Crying out Noah's name savagely, I found his lips and attacked them like a ravaged animal as tears slid down my cheeks, my climax almost reaching its end.

"Cum on me, Princess, so I can taste you!"

That was all the encouragement I needed. With one more hard thrust onto his fingers, my orgasm hit me so hard, that nothing but a string of curses came out of my mouth.

"Fuck." Noah bit my earlobe, pulling it between his lips and then letting his lips fall to my cheek and then my neck. "You look so beautiful when you cum." He squeezed me tighter as his breath caught in his throat. He was trembling, the strain of holding up both himself and my body all at once, seemed to be playing a part.

I was utterly breathless and my legs were shaking terribly that trying to form a proper thought seemed impossible at the moment. Noah's chest heaved in and out against me, and the groaning that followed told me that I wasn't the only one who found their release. Once Noah slid his fingers out of me, I suddenly felt so empty, longing to be filled with him again.

"I love the way you taste, baby," smiling against my face, "so sweet and all mine." I grinned shyly, still not used to his praise when it came to sexual intercourse. Perry never gave me praise.

"All yours?" I felt Noah's body tighten and a brief moment of silence passed.

"I want it to be all mine; all of you. I want all of you Sophie." He kissed my cheek, sparking the urge for more of him inside me.

Sitting up and turning around to finally face him, I met Noah's sweet face. His eyes were still dark, showing the remaining signs of his arousal, but fuck, he was gorgeous. His hair was disheveled and his lips were wrecked, but everything else was perfect. I laid both my hands on the sides of his face and gently tasted his lips, tasting a little of myself on his tongue. I groaned, shifting my bottom to sit, and wrapped my legs around him, pulling him close not caring at all about the mess that was covering his shorts.

"See what you fucking do to me?" Noah praised. Smiling against his lips, he ran my hands through his hair, laying them around his neck.

"God, you're so unbelievably fucking beautiful, you know that, don't you?" I shook my head, refusing to meet his eyes.

"Hey, look at me," taking my chin between his thumb and finger, turning my face towards him.

"You are," he roused, his lips pressing together to form his intoxicating smile that made me melt. I covered my face with my hands, hoping Noah didn't see how red he made my cheeks. But he pulled them down, taking both of them in one of his, and bringing them to his chest.

"Don't, don't ever cover your face, especially from me. You've spent too much of your life hiding that beautiful face because of...."

Noah didn't like talking about my past abuse any more than I did. When it did come up, he got aggressive about it, and I prayed he and Perry never had a face-to-face.

"Well, you know, just because," he said, brushing my hair back, away from my face.

"Just so that you remember, you're the one who said I needed more time before we decided to have sex, not me."

I reached over and slid my fingers across his cheek until it rested in the palm of my hand. Noah had the sweetest heart, but it carried a lot of pain and secrets. I knew, with time as he promised, he would tell me those pains and secrets. Until then, all I could do was love him the way he needed to be loved.

"I'm ready Noah, I'm ready for you to have all of me. You said you wanted it, well, it's yours."

I never thought I would see the kind of relief on Noah's face that I saw then. It was like a dark cloud suddenly passed over him, allowing the sun to shine.

Leaning in and kissing me quickly, he stood up reaching for me to join him.

Our lips found each other's, pulling one another in. We broke apart, smiles stretching over both our faces, only to go back in for seconds.

"I'm going to go change. When I come back down, do you want to order food and watch "Demon Slayer" "?

"Absolutely," I giggled, smiling like a schoolgirl.

Noah shot me a wink before running upstairs.

I took the extra time I had to clean up the kitchen and straighten up the bar, putting things back in order. Eventually, Noah came down, but he was no longer in the same happy mood as before.

"Babe, what's wrong?"

He didn't answer, didn't even look up at me.

I went over to him, hoping it was nothing serious, and froze the instant I saw the look on his face.

"Noah, what's wrong?"

He took a deep breath as if he was about to speak, but changed his mind.

"Nothing," shaking his head and walking past me.

"What the hell? What do you mean by nothing? Your face says differently. Noah!"

"Just forget it okay? Where's the menu for the Chinese place? I'm going to order food."

"Stop brushing me off!" I ordered. "I know something's going on."

Noah finally faced me. He looked very angry, yet I could see the pain he was fighting to hide.

"Noah, please talk to me. Don't shut me out; not when I've been so honest with you and you've seen just about every demon of mine." I was willing to beg him, pleading for him to open up and talk to me.

Running his hands through his hair, Noah huffed, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Fuck! I was hoping this would never happen! I don't fucking understand. Why doesn't anyone ever listen to me!"

I was wrong; Noah wasn't angry; he was fucking pissed.

"Sophie, Matt called me. I need to tell you about Sarah." My heart started pounding "Who's Sarah?" Noah clenched his teeth together and I knew he was reluctant to tell me.

"Noah… who is Sarah?" "She was part of our crew early on; was with us for a few years." "Okay," I said slowly, not following. "Fuck! She's my ex-fiancé, Sophie." My heart dropped to the pit of my stomach. "What?" I was confused as hell. Noah nor anyone else had ever mentioned an ex-fiancé. "I didn't know…" "Yeah, a lot of people didn't. It wasn't a long engagement."

Somehow, I was able to see past the confusion for a moment and notice how bad this whole mess was affecting Noah. "What happened?" I asked, going over to him, but not touching him. Sometimes, Noah just needed space. He pinched the bridge of his nose, shaking his head and squeezing his eyes shut. He was fighting back tears. Finally, I reached out and laid a hand on his arm. "It's okay, you don't have to tell me now." "I'm sorry. I should have told to sooner," taking my hand and pulling me into his embrace. "Told me what?" He paused to lick his lips, looking down at me. "Somehow, someone fucked up and hired her back on as crew for the new tour." "So, she's working for you?" He gave a half shrug. "Sort of, yeah." I breathed in deep, letting it out slowly.

Wrapping my arms around him, I laid my head on Noah's chest. The sound of his heartbeat calmed me. Ever since the first night he held me through my panic attack, the sound became a solace for me. "It's okay, baby. We'll get through this." "We?" I nodded, looking up at him. "I'm not going anywhere, Noah." "No?" he whispered, caressing my face with his long, tattooed fingers. My body melted into him and I became putty in his hands. "No. I'm staying right here until you tell me to leave." Sliding his hand behind my head, Noah lowered his face and took my lips in his, kissing me softly and slowly, while his other hand found its way to my bottom. I gasped, smiling into his lips when he squeezed my left cheek.

"You're never leaving me," he said when we parted. "No?" taking his chin between my fingers and pecking his lips. He shook his head. "Sophie, I'd love it if we told people we're together. I want to make it official." My heart did that weird flip-flop thing and I couldn't help my grin. "Me too." "You wanna be only mine?" his eyes flashing with excitement as a lopsided grip appeared over his mouth. "I thought I already was," I chuckled. "Are you a jealous man, Noah?" giving him a questioning look. "I am, especially when it comes to you." I smiled, running my fingers through his hair, savoring the delicious moan that fell from his lips. "Sophie," "Hmm…" "I think I love you…" "Think?" "….. …… ….. let's just say a ninety-nine percent chance." I threw my arms around Noah's neck, smiling like a silly little schoolgirl. "I think I love you too, Noah."

CHAPTER 2 PT.1

#noah sebastian #noah sebastian fanfiction #nick folio fanfiction #bad omens fanfiction #nick folio #bad omens #bad omens cult #bad omens band #jolly karlsson #nicholas ruffilo #fanfic

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thengrace · 11 months

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24 things I learned at 24.

Thank God, continuously thanking God is so important, it moves us from the earthly perspective into a heavenly perspective, it shifts our entire minds to be reminded of how powerful God is, how far He has brought us, what He is going to do.

Trust your gut, what it's telling you, and no matter how much you try to ignore it, the reality is that it's usually right.

It's okay for friendships to end, it's okay that things didn't work out, sometimes seasons change and with that, comes the end of certain relationships.

You shouldn't strive in a relationship, and this goes for friendships or romantic relationships; it shouldn't feel like a chore to make plans or talk, it should feel natural, and easy, that doesn't mean there won't be conflict, but it should feel like both people are equally invested. And if not, it's one-sided.

Always wait for what you deserve, whether that be a friendship or a romantic relationship, we shouldn't compromise because we are lonely or bored, that's not going to fulfill you.

Sometimes God has us wait to teach us patient and to depend on Him, instead of asking Him to hurry up, ask yourself, what can I do in this waiting period to prepare myself for what He has for me?

It's okay to feel all your emotions, the good, the hard, it's important to let yourself go through the cycle of emotions, learning to sit with your feelings is healthy, no matter how uncomfortable it is.

If something still bothers you after many days, that's a sign you should speak up and tell the person that hurt you how you feel, you'll feel so much better afterwards.

Conflict is necessary, and healthy, and no matter how much you hate it, you cannot avoid it. Conflict will help you grow in many ways.

Sitting in the silence with God is so important, the enemy wants nothing more than for you to be distracted, but God is calling us to deep contemplation of His Word and to sit at His feet and listen to what He has to say.

Tell others how you feel, what you're struggling with, don't let your story be, "I was alone and didn't have anybody," but instead, "I told that one person I trusted and there was healing."

Everyone makes choices and you can't save everybody, once you realize that, it'll change the way you show up in relationships. We have to let God work too.

Jesus is Savior, not me. I'm not responsible for someone's choices or sinfulness, I can pray for them, but at the end of the day, God simply wants me to be a vessel of His mercy, He alone has the power to save.

True friendship will survive long-distances, changing seasons, and once you find that, hold onto it dearly.

We're never alone, even when we feel at our lowest, cry out to God, tell Him exactly how you feel, no matter how scary or dark it may be, God is listening to us, and wants to be our Comforter.

Worship changes things, when we simply get to that secret place and worship the Lord, there's a change in our hearts and in the heavenly places.

It's okay to live a simple life, to not make the most money or be the most "successful" person in your family, as long as we are doing the work of the Lord, that's successful in the eyes of the Lord.

Pray unceasingly, when you wake up, when you're driving somewhere, God is a Friend, and He is always available and can be found in the everyday moments like driving to work or going to the gym.

It's okay if your prayers sound like, "God, I don't know what to do." God can take it, no matter how "ugly" it may be.

God is a Provider and a God of completeness, and if He brings you through one part of a trial, why wouldn't He stand with you until it's completed?

There are so many prayers that won't be answered for years, but God is still working, no matter how long it takes, be faithful in prayer, God will bless your faithfulness.

Remember the old things you loved to do, and continue to do them. Don't forget what makes you joyful, like an old skill or hobby that you used to find comfort in, those things will still bring joy even years later.

Don't spend too much time on things that might bring out the worst in you, like social media, it's wisdom to know what is your weakness, and to abstain from it.

Above all, trust God. Trust that He has good intentions for you and that He is going to get you through whatever infirmities, internal struggles, and relational issues you are dealing with. We have a good God.

#mine #personal #d #birthday #hope this encourages someone <3 #happy birthday

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spotofmummery · 10 months

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What Does Your Heart Look Like? - Amon

A Tangled Ball of Red Strings

Who are you without the company of others? You aren’t sure, but you know that you aren’t fond of whoever it is.

You are an actor, a pretty face and a pleasant song. Many idolize you, or love you, but you can never be sure of how sincere it is.

Your heart is buried under the letters they leave you, sealed with a kiss. It can’t be untangled from the red strings they’ve attached to you.

You deserve to find something, someone, true and faithful to hold your heart in place. You don’t have to be everything to everyone.

-Click here to take for yourself!-

Saw this going around so I gave it a try. Feel free to snag!

#Amon of Syrcus #Character Meme

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aelyosos · 11 months

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what does your heart look like?

tagged by @katsigian & @swanfey to take this quiz for some oc's of my choosing. thank you both, this quiz hurtttt. 🗡️🩸

tagging, no obligation: @bunfey + @turbulentpumpkin43 + @venusmage + @detect-thoughts + @lilactiefling + @lichposting + @littlebirdofprey + @rhyiona + @desnas + @ghoulgeists + @vape-president + @lesbiandice + @death-ward + @three-of-crows + @liurnia + @halkuonn + @telumendill + @swordcoasts + @tokkionline + anyone else who'd like to 💛

a tangled ball of red strings

Who are you without the company of others? You aren’t sure, but you know that you aren’t fond of whoever it is. You are an actor, a pretty face and a pleasant song. Many idolize you, or love you, but you can never be sure of how sincere it is. Your heart is buried under the letters they leave you, sealed with a kiss. It can’t be untangled from the red strings they’ve attached to you. You deserve to find something, someone, true and faithful to hold your heart in place. You don’t have to be everything to everyone.

commentary below ✂️

initially i wasn't sure how i felt about these results as i read thru em, but i quickly realized it's very, very ocean. i feel he puts up a lot of diff faces when he's w somebody vs being by himself. ocean is quite down-to-earth, but he also hides behind lies, esp when it involves feelings. he's not honest bc he doesn't want to get too close.

the line, 'it can’t be untangled from the red strings they’ve attached to you', is when i really realized this quiz had him. bc i feel on the outside, ocean makes likes he doesn't want the commitment. he doesn't want any attachments. but that's in fact, very much what he needs and wants.

this result, i felt, had a lot to do with isolation and loneliness as well, which r key themes for ocean.

#dash games #uquiz tag #oc: ocean #oc talk: ocean #lore drop: ocean #oughhh this was fun but the pain levels 🫠 tysm again kieran & nes #the only line i'm not sure abt is the last that one is still under 🔍

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rindemption · 11 months

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What does your heart look like?

I got tagged by @katsigian to do this quiz, so naturally I'm doing it for Nathan

And I'll go ahead and tag @xsdjkl @killyourrdarlingss @transmasc-taub @strafethesesinners @seeker-of-truth and @grand-wizard-of-bulgaria. No pressure, and anyone else who sees this but wasn't tagged is welcome to jump in!

So I did the quiz twice, because there was one question that had two answers that were equally true, and I ended up getting two different results just because of that one answer. So I'm gonna be a special little snowflake and post both results 🤭 Under the cut so it doesn't clog anyone's dash.

A tangled ball of red strings

Who are you without the company of others? You aren't sure, but you know that you aren't fond of whoever it is. You are an actor, a pretty face and a pleasant song. Many idolize you, or love you, but you can never be sure of how sincere it is. Your heart is buried under the letters they leave you, sealed with a kiss. It can't be untangled from the red strings they've attached to you. You deserve to find something, someone, true and faithful to hold your heart in place. You don't have to be everything to everyone.

This one hurts because it's very true to how he used to live, to how he carries himself among others. He's always worn masks, always molded himself to the people around him. Who he is at his core -a reflection of his parents, their ideals and how they raised him- isn't who he wants to be. So he hides it, doesn't care for who he is when he's alone. A little more subdue and a little more sad than he lets on around others. And he likes the attention he gets when he lets people see who they want to see, so he kept up the act for long enough it became second nature. What he needs though is someone to tell him he doesn't have to pretend just to earn love. And thankfully that's what he finds.

A guiding golden light

Just because you cannot see your own heart doesn't mean others can't. Your heart is blinding, captivating, a fire so bright that others can't bring themselves to look away. It illuminates the path they follow and cements you as a guiding star for their own wayward hearts. Every experience you've lived through has built your lighthouse heart up just a little higher. You are inspirational, a light that doesn't go out.

This one takes a little healing to achieve, but it's just as true. Those closest to Nathan (his husband, his best friends) can see that true light in his heart, the one his parents could never truly harden. All he wants to do is love and be loved. Especially with his soulmate, his desire to see him happy and thriving and loved ends up being healing for both of them. Eventually he starts to peel away the masks, let the world see him as he truly is, and he finds love in the act of being known.

#cyberpunk 2077 #nathan v.#about the oc: nathan #tag game #uquiz #i didn't actually think one answer change would make a difference #but it did in the most bittersweet way #thankfully he finds someone who does tell him he's loved under the masks and the acting and really means it #also i tagged people i don't think I've ever tagged before so i hope y'all don't mind

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inafieldofdaisies · 10 months

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2 in 1 uquizzes

Uquiz #1: What does your OC heart look like?

Uquiz #2: What does your OC path lead to?

broken, missing pieces that once were there: your heart has been torn before, chipped and maybe even shattered. Some pieces will never be recovered, and you are shaped by the loss. But it can still be shaped into something tangible, something good, even with its flaws and imperfections. You don’t have to do all the work of rebuilding by yourself. Allow other hands to leave their fingerprints on the new heart you create from the remnants.

the messenger: a creature of flesh and bones but wrong, wires wrapped around limbs and a steady ticking accompanying each step. His home is in the forest, pale trees with dark eyes, and he clutters on, his bones creaking with every step. The clock keeps on ticking, every moment a blink in the eye of the universe as the years fly by. His steps continue forevermore, an ouroboros lumbering on and on, a mechanical being made from the dead. On and on he clatters, a void that can never be filled, with bloody feet and a chittering voice.

i'd say quite fitting, but the fact the second result is titled "the messenger" definitely sent me

a tangled ball of red strings: who are you without the company of others? You aren’t sure, but you know that you aren’t fond of whoever it is. You are an actor, a pretty face and a pleasant song. Many idolize you, or love you, but you can never be sure of how sincere it is. Your heart is buried under the letters they leave you, sealed with a kiss. It can’t be untangled from the red strings they’ve attached to you. You deserve to find something, someone, true and faithful to hold your heart in place. You don’t have to be everything to everyone.

the path: the memories left behind by others, each one taking their next step along side you. Softly rustling leaves in the wind, the full moon bathing the forest in a silvery light. A beaten path between towering trees, giant shadows slinking between them. Glowing eyes staring down at you, the animals' gazes piercing right through you. The fluttering of thousand of moths, each flap of their wings accompanied by whispers and the knowledge that somewhere someone's fate has taken a new path.

I'm screaming at the actor result for Mer. OMG. the path is also ironic considering her role chosen by Joseph

molten lava and charred flesh: your heart burned so fiercely that it burnt itself out, leaving horrible scars in its wake; scars inside your chest and on the hands of those who touched you, the hearts of anyone who got close enough to connect to yours. The person you are now is no longer recognizable, burnt up by your own anger and passion and love. The injuries can never be fully erased, but they can be soothed with time and trust and forgiveness.

the virus: Game Over. Try Again? Yes [ ] No [ ] I am tired [x] You are psydelic colors, no clear edges but instead just flowing into the ether, just floating somewhere in-between. You have played their games and lost, tried again and again and again but it could never be enough, no, you have been flawed from the start, always wrong wrong wrong. Aren't you tired yet? Hasn't it been enough, you have done your best but your form was never supposed to fit into the cutout they've created for you, each time you played their game you snipped parts away. And it still wasn't enough, would never be enough. Darling, don't you want to break them as they broke you? Darling dear, remember, they called you toxic and vicious, a virus they sought to eradicate. So stop playing the games you could never win and play your own, you are bright colors as a warning sign, sharp words spilling like toxic fumes from a sharp toothed mouth, you are a predator of this new age.

I am once again asking Cal to stop breaking my heart. Ooochie. The fire symbolism, the forgiveness.

Tagging @thesingularityseries @cassietrn @direwombat @strafethesesinners @madparadoxum @poisonedtruth @detectivelokis @shegetsburned @nightbloodbix @aceghosts @jacobsneed @josephslittledeputy @theelderhazelnut @josephseedismyfather @trench-rot @g0dspeeed @adelaidedrubman @clicheantagonist @neverthesameneveranother @voidika @v0idbuggy @socially-awkward-skeleton @aceghosts @clicheantagonist and anyone that would like to do the tag <3

#okay but those results ....#especially Mercedes'#oc uquiz #oc: sabrina donovan #oc: calahan hartley #oc: mercedes “mercy” sibley #ocs #uquiz tag #uquiz #uquiz results #oc character #fc5 ocs #fc5 deputy #far cry 5 oc #far cry 5 deputy #quiz tag #original characters #character analysis

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direwombat · 10 months

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uquiz roundup

tagged by @socially-awkward-skeleton, @inafieldofdaisies, @voidika, @detectivelokis, @cassietrn, @trench-rot for the following uquizes!

tagging back anyone who hasn't done one or more of these and also @aceghosts, @strafethesesinners, @strangefable, @adelaidedrubman, @sstewyhosseini, @fourlittleseedlings, @wrathfulrook, @confidentandgood, @purplehairsecretlair, @poetikat, @jacobsneed, @vampireninjabunnies-blog, @deputyash, @harmonyowl, @river-ward, @neverthesameneveranother, @josephslittledeputy and uhhhhhh anyone else who hasn't done one or more of these...sorry brain mush it's been a busy day

which two greek gods are your (oc's) parents?

HADES AND NEMESIS. Oh, sweet child of the dead and revenge! Your father commands the Underworld, and your mother the punisher of mortal sin. A life of greatness stands before you dictated by sternness, self-control, and retribution. No man can tell you what realm you preside over, but look to themes of assassinations and settling scores as you grow into your power.

what does your (oc's) heart look like?

ICED OVER, OUT OF THE SUN. Your heart is very lonely, isn’t it? Is your fortress of ice self-made? Are others afraid of you, or are you afraid of them? Are you afraid of hurting them, or of being hurt? Vulnerability and connection can be frightening, but that’s no reason to shy away from their light, to tuck yourself small into corners, to build up frigid walls to keep yourself from feeling. You will heal when you allow yourself to draw closer to the flames and thaw.

what does your path lead to?

THE MARTYR. Weeping lies, a sacrifice to a forgotten god. They wail injustices into the night and wait for a sun that will never rise again. They cry holy holy but their god only weeps blood and gold, a path through sand and stone before the altar on which they sacrificed the innocent. Their song howls through the night, the unholiest of all choirs, a never ending liturgy of justice desecrated and they await the rising sun to see what their martyred god will bring forth from his broken tower. The incense burns through the night and lights the way, plants withering underneath their soles while they dance to the never-ending litany that are the whispers running through their minds.

what horror trope is your oc?

THE MONSTER. it was not your fault– at first, at least. you can not help being the way you are. and even if you could, would you choose to change? they met you with torches raised and screaming mouths, the only choice you had was to flee. but you will not stay away forever. they whisper your name in fear, and you will make sure you hurt them just as much as they hurt you.

what type of cat is your oc?

TORTOISESHELL CAT. every gay woman has one (and if they currently don't, they will). you are independent and stubborn and aloof but you show your affection to those deserving (and they always feel special about it).

which two greek gods are your (oc's) parents?

HERMES AND HECATE. Oh, sweet child of travel and magic! Your father is the swift herald of the gods, and your mother a Titan of the mysterious deep. A life of greatness stands before you dictated by cleverness, creativity, and boundless ideas. No man can tell you what realm you preside over, but look to themes of gambling and riddles as you grow into your power.

what does your heart look like?

A TANGLED BALL OF RED STRINGS. Who are you without the company of others? You aren’t sure, but you know that you aren’t fond of whoever it is. You are an actor, a pretty face and a pleasant song. Many idolize you, or love you, but you can never be sure of how sincere it is. Your heart is buried under the letters they leave you, sealed with a kiss. It can’t be untangled from the red strings they’ve attached to you. You deserve to find something, someone, true and faithful to hold your heart in place. You don’t have to be everything to everyone.

what does your path lead to?

THE LIGHTHOUSE. A light cutting through the dark, a hope in desperate times. Are you the lighthouse or the ship in the fog? Are you the seeker or the lost? She is waiting, a steadfast watcher at the shore of oblivion. Her light will never go out, never flickering, never wavering. Howling winds are clawing at her hair, obscuring her face. Still, she continues her vigil for her work is never done, she is free but has shackled herself with love for she refuses to leave anyone behind. (If you concentrate, you will see that she has no face, just a blank space in which she carries infinity and everyone who has ever loved you.)

what horror trope is your oc?

THE HAUNTED HOUSE. decrepit and falling apart at the seams; time has not been kind to you, has it? termites have nestled in your bones, and stray cats find comfort in your sinews. you may be victim to time and erosion, but your abandoned corpse remains a refuge for unwanted things. vermin and ghosts thank you. what greater kindness can there be than offering shelter?

what type of cat is your oc?

#oc: deputy sybille la roux #oc: paola orsini #love how despite how different syb and paola are. they are both the same cat lol

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vampireninjabunnies-blog · 10 months

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Tagged by @josephseedismyfather

Tagging @inafieldofdaisies @trench-rot @direwombat @beautiful-delirium @voidika @madparadoxum @socially-awkward-skeleton @poisonedtruth @strangefable @strafethesesinners @nightwingshero

Esther Seed

an open door, a burning hearth

Your chest is wide open, and your heart is a home. Others are welcomed in readily and asked to stay. You are comfort and love, everything you were never given but so desperately want to provide for others. You have built this welcoming hearth with your own two hands and won’t see anyone else left out in the cold. Be careful to not burn yourself out trying to keep everyone else warm.

John Seed

a tangled ball of red strings

Esther Seed

The Lighthouse

A light cutting through the dark, a hope in desperate times. Are you the lighthouse or the ship in the fog? Are you the seeker or the lost? She is waiting, a steadfast watcher at the shore of oblivion. Her light will never go out, never flickering, never wavering. Howling winds are clawing at her hair, obscuring her face. Still, she continues her vigil for her work is never done, she is free but has shackled herself with love for she refuses to leave anyone behind. (If you concentrate, you will see that she has no face, just a blank space in which she carries infinity and everyone who has ever loved you.)

John Seed

The Buried

An unmarked grave among the trees and a soft spot to rest your head. The earth welcomes you home. Wilting flowers, petals falling to the ground. The smell of petrichor in the air, a new beginning after something ended. A small home hidden away from the world, windows opened wide to let the air and light in. This old hut has awoken from its long slumber, softly creaking, welcoming those that seek a place to rest their weary hearts. Let the old wood fold around you in a soft embrace, coaxing hope to unfurl its buds and bloom into the strongest vines keeping you from falling apart again. (Your grave lies unmarked, nature slowly wrapping you in her embrace.)

#oc:esther seed #john seed #uquiz

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yloiseconeillants · 10 months

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what does your heart look like?

a tangled ball of red strings

tagged by @uldahstreetrat ; tagging: anyone who wants a tag!

#M A N #memery #yloise coneillants #this is pretty accurate to all of the clown daughters #especially . ariadne. with the. ball of red string-

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ruvviks · 11 months

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– WHAT DOES YOUR HEART LOOK LIKE?

TAGGED BY: @katsigian & @devilbrakers, thank you so much!! TAGGING: @aartyom, @reaperkiller, @faarkas, @swordcoasts, @twinwitchbolt, @adelaidedrubman, @strafethesesinners, @henbased, @shellibisshe, @dickytwister, @ncytiri, @cultistbase, @reapersynth and YOU! – quiz

– A GUIDING, GOLDEN LIGHT.

just because you cannot see your own heart doesn’t mean that others can’t. your heart is blinding, captivating, a fire so bright that others can’t bring themselves to look away. it illuminates the path they follow and cements you as a guiding star for their own wayward hearts. every experience you’ve lived through has built your lighthouse heart up just a little higher. you are inspirational, a light that doesn’t go out.

director's commentary: the thing with ambrose is that he is so tired. desperately wants to stop working for arasaka but he knows they won't let him go and he believes they've turned him into a monster and there's nothing more to him now because of that. but at the same time he adopted a little girl who would have otherwise simply ended up alone again, and he is the whole world to her; and he is SUCH an important figure in the community they live in, helping with repairs to the building they live in wherever and whenever, always offering protection, and just a friendly familiar face to have a good conversation with at the end of a long day at work. he's so stuck in the belief that how arasaka sees him is how everyone he knows sees him that he doesn't even realize his own kindness and i'm very normal about that [lying]

– A TANGLED BALL OF RED STRINGS.

who are you without the company of others? you aren’t sure, but you know that you aren’t fond of whoever it is. you are an actor, a pretty face and a pleasant song. many idolize you, or love you, but you can never be sure of how sincere it is. your heart is buried under the letters they leave you, sealed with a kiss. it can’t be untangled from the red strings they’ve attached to you. you deserve to find something, someone, true and faithful to hold your heart in place. you don’t have to be everything to everyone.

director's commentary: for the longest time, aubrey believed he knew exactly what he wanted and what was good for him. spent a decent amount of years living a much wilder life than he could actually handle and while he could always get along generally well with people, he could never really find his place even in the biggest of crowds. he's an entertainer, he knows he's funny and knows that's how he makes friends, but at the same time his somewhat obnoxious behavior is a defense mechanism- a way to control how people perceive him in hopes those who actually care about him will stick around despite all his flaws. it's hard to tell where the act stops and the real aubrey starts, but now that he's finally found his place and his people he can finally figure out who he really is

– ICED OVER, OUT OF THE SUN.

your heart is very lonely, isn’t it? is your fortress of ice self-made? are others afraid of you, or are you afraid of them? are you afraid of hurting them, or of being hurt? vulnerability and connection can be frightening, but that’s no reason to shy away from their light, to tuck yourself small into corners, to build up frigid walls to keep yourself from feeling. you will heal when you allow yourself to draw closer to the flames and thaw.

director's commentary: cassidy has been alone for a very long time and especially after his relationship with reid ended, he believed it would be for the best. didn't allow anyone close anymore because they showed no interest in him anyway, so why should he show interest in them? but deep down he longs to have some sort of connection to someone again, and he wants very badly to be loved- in literally any way. he's very scared of being hurt since physical touch does in fact hurt for him, and he's very scared of hurting others because in the past, any sort of confrontation has led to his loved ones dying. but in the end he manages to let people in again and it took him very long but he is finally healing from all of that now, and he no longer has to spend his nights alone

– AN OPEN DOOR, A BURNING HEARTH.

your chest is wide open, and your heart is a home. others are welcomed in readily and asked to stay. you are comfort and love, everything you were never given but so desperately want to provide for others. you have built this welcoming hearth with your own two hands and won’t see anyone else left out in the cold. be careful to not burn yourself out trying to keep everyone else warm.

director's commentary: harlowe is relatively new in comparison to the other guys listed here but this result fits him very well. he used to work as a doll and all of caused him to become very wary of other human beings and feel alienated from them. especially following the incident in which he lost his leg and his doll chip got broken, which led to him getting permanent brain damage after he was forced to keep using the broken chip, he felt very alone and unloved and it wasn't until aubrey got him out of that situation and basically adopted him into his family that things started changing for harlowe. and nowadays he is so full of love; makes it his job to make those around him feel welcome and safe, and he knows how to bring good vibes to any situation. but at the same time he still hasn't had a chance to properly work through all that's happened to him and he's starting to run on fumes

– A CAGE WITH IRON LOCKS.

you are an enigma. you take care to remain that way. you aim to keep people guessing; your motives are uncertain even to yourself. what is it you truly want? you’ll never know if you keep your heart locked away like that. you deserve to be known, truly and fully. stop being afraid of what you might find if you open your heart up to self-reflection. stop thinking that no one will love you the moment they understand you. you are more than the facade you put on.

director's commentary: reid doesn't have the greatest past- career at maxtac, cassidy's ex-boyfriend and reid was NOT a good boyfriend at all, and at some point he basically ended up trying to get cassidy to break up with his current partner and also hand him over to kang tao in a desperate attempt to get his own life back together. none of it worked out for him and he ended up having to work for aubrey; become his secretary and assistant in his fixer business, even though reid had already entirely accepted he was probably going to end up getting killed. now being forced to live with the consequences, reid has bettered himself and even ends up saving the lives of those he once wished dead- but he still carries his past with him everywhere he goes and has a hard time letting go of it all, scared to put himself out there again because he doesn't want the past to repeat itself. but as much as he tries to close himself off, people still find their way to him; and it takes him a while to fully open up, but he gets there in the end, and he's much better off nowadays

– MOLTEN LAVA AND CHARRED FLESH.

your heart burned so fiercely that it burnt itself out, leaving horrible scars in its wake; scars inside your chest and on the hands of those who touched you, the hearts of anyone who got close enough to connect to yours. the person you are now is no longer recognizable, burnt up by your own anger and passion and love. the injuries can never be fully erased, but they can be soothed with time and trust and forgiveness.

director's commentary: reuben's result is interesting because it's accurate but not entirely in the way you would expect. when he was with maelstrom, for the longest time he believed that he truly belonged there; it was his home, the only home he could remember, and despite the fact he was mostly treated like shit he found comfort there and was driven by a passion that came to exist entirely out of his loyalty to them. all of it fell apart when he learned everything he had done for them meant nothing, and he suddenly started to realize all the horrible things they made him do had not ever been good to begin with. he then spent a lot of time alone, hiding in his own little hideout and refusing to let anyone get near him. luckily enough this all changes for him and he ends up moving in with someone he now loves more than anything in the world, and he has countless of friends he would be willing to die for. his passion is still there, and his loyalty too- but this time it's created from within his own heart, rather than fabricated out of lies and empty promises

#tag games #ask:ambrose #ask:aubrey #ask:cassidy #ask:harlowe #ask:reid #ask:reuben #sorry i am very rusty with tagging people. feel free to kill me for whatever reason it's ok i support you #anyway hiii did you miss my endless director's commentary. i am a man who does not know how to shut the fuck up sorry #this quiz was really fun but also difficult because i kept getting the same results despite giving vastly different answers grrrr #but i'm satisfied with these now :]#anyway if you read all of that. let me kiss you on the lips

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