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definitelynotnia · 1 month

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im sorry i have to rant im so fucking pissed

my exams end on 19th and I have to get rid of some books and buy some books which are quite pricy online so I had planned on going to college street on 20th and selling my books and buying the new ones at a cheap price and i was frankly really excited about it because all I get is a one day break to relax bcz i have to start studying for entrances from 21st so all I have is 20th and i wanted to spend it at college street and then get some food and basically have like a solo date kind of thing.

and i was so so excited about it i told my boyfriend about it like 500 times bcz i kept forgetting i've already mentioned it and it was literally on my mind a lott so i kept bringing it up and ik it seems like not a big deal cz i can just sit at home and chill too but i literally do not get to go outside my house. like- the last time i went out was new years eve and after that the only time i've gone out is to school or to give my boards that is it. my mother has some weird like problem wiht me going out like even if i tell her that i just want to go to our terrace for 5 minutes just to get some fresh air she won't even allow that she'll be all suspicious and like sTaNd In ThE bAlCOnY aNd TaKe FrEsH aIr like she herself doesnt leave the house (and blames it on me and my brother ???? when have we ever stopped you bro, she said I HaVe To Be HeRe To KeEp An EyE like im 18 i dont need to be watched 24/7 stop blaming me for choices you put upon yourself) and i just feel so suffocated ALL THE TIME i feel so overstimulated and im so sick of rotting on my bed and i dont want to wait for some birthday party or friends meet up to be able to leave my goddamn house i just wanted to go and have a fun day and get me some books thats it.

anyway so initially the plan was that my mom would go along but something came up so she wanted to postpone it to 21st and i didn't want to bcz i'd already be missing 3 days bcz of my boyfriends birthday, holi and my brothers birthday (all of which are important and i dont want to miss which makes me the villain apparently bcz i should "adjust" and cancel my "parties" instead of trying to stick to my plan bcz that makes me too demanding and selfish apparently) so i suggested that ukw why dont u go do ur thing which came up and i'll go to college street by myself...which is when the solo date idea came which i had really wanted all along but didnt bring up bcz i knew she'd say no but now there's a valid reason for me to go alone so like, its a pretty easy fix i can just go alone but noooo. First of all,

I've been to college street multiple times before so its not like its an unknown area to me

im going by metro which is quite safe

im going when there is stark daylight and i will return home much much before it gets dark and im literally 18

she never lets me go anywhere alone, not even take ubers alone if i want to get back from somewhere my bf has to come drop me everytime and then go backwards to his house which is so so so stupid and i never get to go out alone unless accompanied by family or by a male friend, so obv when i said i'll go to college street alone she refused to let that happen and started screaming about how 'if its so important to go on 20th bcz u dont want to miss a day of studying then cancel ur 'parties' and study then' and i was like no its not about missing a day its just that there's a very easy and logical fix to this problem which is i go alone and its not inconveniencing anyone so why cant i just do that but she will not listen to that bcz im 'adamant' and 'everything has to be according to me' bcz i found a viable solution to the problem. so instead of letting me just go she was literally ready to pay much more money and buy the books online, like.....why cant i just go bro??? (and she keeps telling me im a waste of her money bcz i will amount to nothing in life and my education was a failed investment or wtv so like now why are u wasting more money??? im literally trying to save the money that u 'waste' on me so just let me ???)

anyway i called my dad last night and told him and he was super ok with the idea he said its a good idea that i go alone and that he would speak to her but then today when i asked her if dad spoke to her she said yes, we'll go on 20th and i was like .....we? so apparently she CANCELLED her previously immovable thing for which she wanted me to cancel my 'parties', she cancelled that and agreed to go with me on 20th just so that i dont get to go alone- like ???????????????? what is ur problemmmm

so obv i was super annoyed and i went on a whole ass rant about how i literally struggle to even cross roads bcz i dont know shit about basic travelling bcz all my life ive been in a car and its a running joke with all my guy friends that i 'cannot navigate' and 'dont know any places' and obv??? if im never allowed to go anywhere then how tf will i know the places- the only places i know is bcz recently i've been paying a lot of attention and asking my dad stuff about what roads to take to reach certain places and when i go out with my friends i kind of try and learn a bit but thats it i've only ever gone alone completely alone to two places which is my beauty parlour thats 5 minutes away from my house and one bazaar one time that was 2 bus stops away, thats it. thats my extent of public travelling alone. and now im supposed to go to a whole new STATE for college and i cant even call myself an auto without struggling. and like- is this not a basic life skill??? like ok yeah its not rocket science and i will probably figure it out even if i start later in life but why not now? most of my guy friends literally go everywhere alone, why not me? and my dad agreed with all of this but my mom was just like "you'll be in the hostel only, no need to go out of the campus" like ARE YOU FOR REAL????????? and she's like "if u want to learn skills learn how to cook" like ok yes i will also learn how to cook for sure but i wont have a fucking kitchen in the hostel but somehow cooking is an urgent skill i should learn but going places by myself is unimportant bcz i should just never? leave? the? hostel?

anyway after much screaming and shouting my dad gave up and just cut the call bcz he doesnt want to get into an argument with my mother and my mother was being all suspicious like why do u hAvE tO gO aLoNe AlL oF a SuDdEn even though i literally explained why i want to do this alone but she doesnt think thats valid. so she refuses to let me go and i asked her for one reason why i shouldnt cz usuallt its always "no u have exam what if smthn happens" but now i literally dont even have exam so whats ur excuse now? streets will always be unsafe forever so "what if smthn happens" is not a reason to never let me go out without a man so just gimme one reason and she couldnt give me a single reason she just said "i said no, thats it".

and now she's gone off about how im useless and blah blah and "high maintainance" bcz i want books and "everyone else (some pishi's son) just studies online" and so the whole option of college street is apparently now cancelled and she's trying to set up a whole ass kindle account (half the books i need arent even available as ebooks) just because i wanted to go by myself.

#in our house kids dont stay outside past 6:30pm'' but now all of a sudden its fine for my brother to play #till 10:30 at night #she literally stopped me permanently from going down in the evenings since i was in class 7-8 #this is why ive never had any friends outside of school bcz she wouldnt let me leave ths fucking house #and now that my brother is in class 7 #he's allowed to be out playing with his friends till 10 freaking 30 #he comes home an hour late sometimes...45 minutes and almost always at least 30 minutes late at NIGHT and she says nothing except like #one sentence #yeah im only the villain i only keep u locke #up in the house its all my fault #this is just so damn unfair #like literally insulting #im not a child what is her problem #what sort of fucking solution is 'never leave the hostel' like ok even if i do that what happens then??? after i graduate?#i'll be a 24 year old who doesnt know shit about going from one place to another without a man present]#and then this woman preaches how she 'always raises her son and daughter equally' like srsly shut the fuck up #my whole life i've been told abar late?''#and for me bcz i would come home 5-10 minutes late nd i did it maybe once or twice she made me completely stop going down to play #5-10 minutes late from 6:30 wherein he comes an hour late from 9 fucking 30 #and this sounds so stupid bcz im an 18 year old now and i dont give a fuck abt how long i got to play but its just unfair dude #with me it was always smthn or the other either exams or she gets miraculously sick every time i want to go out to play #im not even kidding she did a whole “i have fever and ur going to leave me like this and go play?” on me one time bcz i was adamant abt goi #after months of not being able to go bcz of exam or smthn or the other #she did not have any fever it was fucking bullshit #and how am i supposed to help with ur imaginary fever anyway im literally 12 #its so fucking annoying man and then if i say anything at all she'll go on a tirade about how #like YOU DO THOUGH??????? im sorry ur feelings are hurt bcz i said you do smthn that u LITERALLY DO #istg not even 2 days ago she was having a fight with my dad abt how he should teach my brother to learn how to cycle so that he can go buy #groceries #i can cycle

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boxwinebaddie · 3 months

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im OBSESSED with the idea of wlw tsot style truly genius wow

AHAHAHSAKHSDKHD!!!!! thank you, bestie! i love being a Genius!

jokes aside, last night, i was looking at the tsot concept, like really thinking hard, squinting at it like....whyyyyy....don't i like this? because idk, i personally think the tsot plot premise was badass, but maybe i am delusional, lmao -- that tracks for me. but deadass, i was like why am i not attached to this for some reason also?

...for some reason, the tsot style was never that enticing to me as a writer? and i thought it was because it was too complicated bc of the high fantasy elements...bc despite me masquerading as a genius i am a Fooking Imbecile like i am a court jester, the town FOOL...smh.

-- or even that it was...too sweet and wholesome for me??? because stan is so devoted to kyle in tsot and they are so in love. they're so cute? which is wonderful and all but i am an Angst Girlie, not in terms of reading fanfic ( yes, i do think its ironic that i write multi chapter slowburn style fanfics and only like to read fluffy oneshots where they get together at the end bc i'm impatient & cannot burn in hell )

tHEN THE SNOW DAY TRAILER CAME OUT AND I WAS LIKE????? EVIL STAN???? HEEEEELLLLOOOOOOO!!!!!! i am OBSESSED. that was an insane choice, i was so feral and i was like i need to write morally corrupted stan it's my duty as an angst queen -- which, you guys, i really think i was meant to write angst and hurt/comfort bc i was writing that lil ravesey drabble and i was like Levitating w/ energy i was so stoked omg i was having a BLAST...i love u, angst.

aN-KNEE-WAYZ! i developed that weird idea/tsot concept and i personally was fucking with it but i was still...not completely happy? and i couldn't tell why and it was pISSING ME THE FUCK OFF????

but now it makes sense...bc they are...Women, lol.

( okay, its uncle nina tsot idea info dump time! if you are rocking w/ me, ur welcome under the cut, please enjoy ur ncu toxic yuri <3 )

P.S. THIS IS VERY LONG -- VIEWER DISCRETION IS ADVISED!

so i think stan...goes by stas? in the tsot universe. that just makes sense to me, i also don't want to get confused bc i've written style as boys for so long if i keep calling stas stan it will make my brain hurt. SO STAS, LOOOOL!!! which i think is short for...anastasia?

or something weirdly hyper feminine and stas hates it to death, also stassie or stasia is still 2 girlie, so she is kind of also not rocking w/ those...i like how gender neutral stas is. let me know if its not cute.

bUT ANYWAYS AGAIN!!! this post is really unhinged, it's 3 am where i am rn and i am being so crazy, i woke up being really insane abt this. so stas works at her family's inn to help her mom out w/ everything because shelley is kind of a hater and randy is...a menace to society. like when i say stas has to pull that waste of a man out of the tavern oR LIKE THE BROTHEL???? HELLO??? every goDDAMN NIGHT??? shes so mad. especially since he keeps BORROWING MONEY THEY CANT PAY BACK BC RANDY IS SPENDING IT ALL???? AND THE LOAN SHARKS ARE ABT TO FUCKING KILL ALL OF THEM?

eye...hate you so much, randy marsh. *stas vc* Burn In Seven Hells.

however, conversely, i do love stas, WHO IS AN IIIIICON!!!! a bicon if you will, she do be...lying awake having iMPUre thoughts of lying with women oodsfjodosjfpsojf, sins of the flesh lMAAAAOOOO!!!! down so bad like please get A LIIIIFE!!!!!! which she's like Trying, i see you baby!!!! but you know, she has to wear a dress ( she did steal her dads pants bee tee dubs bc its hard to run around in a long ass dress, she truly hates that shit bc its inconvenient as hell, smh ) but yeah she do be drinking plifered ale with the boys and having the worst posture and freaking burping the alphabet and being DISGUSTING????? when i tell you stas is so disgusting...smh. she is giving bean from disenchanted if anyone has seen that show like really and truly. xx

which is SO FUNNY???? because, like all my ncu stans, stas is an uncanny level of beautiful like SSSOOOOOOO PRETTY??? like it is truly INSANE, men be OOGLING her which ew so Much!!! bc A Scurb Is A Guy Who Thinks He's Fly But IS ALSO KNOWN AS A BUSTAAA!!! i think like ravenstan pre!rm boys were just kind of weirdly obsessed w/ her and trying to ask for her hand in marriage all the time like belle from beauty in the beast and she was like ahhhh hell nah KHDSLd.

also, working at the inn she has to deal with tHE MOST ANNOYING FUCKING MEN IN THE WOOOOORLD!!! they are like "you! tavern wench! fetch me some ale!" and she's like pls go fuck yourself but she's also So Nice like all my stans so she's like...Of Course, Sir.

maaaan, W!H!A!C!K!

i think like knights and stuff come and go staying at the inn and she's just like...sigh...that's so fucking COOL, wish that were me! LAME!!! like she literally is not allowed to fight bc SHES A GIRL!!! SO WHACK! she does have dreams abt it...like she does abt women and temptations of the flesh...stas...whack off or something, my GOD!!! nasty girl behavior, i am fucking crying, i love girl failure stas. Based.

i think she secretly kind of works down at the forge with tolkiens dad, btw, i think tolkiens name is...tolkien...blacksmith? lol so much guys. also !~ala pep~ they do still have a crazy rivalry...love my life. i think there is DRAMA during the Challenge Of Champions abt kylie. WHO STAS DOES NOT LIKE RIGHT AWAY BUT I DIGRESS!!!

so stas helps down at the forge bc she thinks swords are so cool. like she is obsessed and i think she makes a lot of armor and swords and stuff but she's not allowed to use them, obvi...and just has to hand them off to idiot men who should Go Die In A War lmaoooo!!! and it sucks so bad...her handiwork is beautiful, btw. i think she's made some shit that ended up at the broflovski castle they just Don't Know.

i am...talking abt this too much when i tell you i got Really Into It. so the RUFFIANS show up and they're abt to kill stas’ family but they give stas One More Day to come up with the money so she rides off ON SPARKY!!!! I LOVE YOU HORSE SPARKY!!!! to the disgraced high wizards castle who obviously...thinks stas is fucking pathetic and is like i quite literally do not give a fuck...ur whole family can choke? and is going to kill her but then...realizes stas is EXTREMELY GIFTED with the sword and is like...hm...i can use you. ;))))) lmao and stas basically has no choice bc if not they will literally slaughter her fam.

soooooo stas basically she ends up enrolled in the Challenge Of Champions which is literally so fucked??? like everyone is about to die, if i end up writing the fic, it's gonna be BRUTAL and very bloody and horrifying, just fyi, so sorry. also stas cuts her hair hella short to pass as a boy and there is a very iconique mulan-esqe montage of her stealing her dads clothes and kissing sharon on the head and riding off to an uncertain fate...leaves a crytic note or no warning? its very depressing stas...loves sharon so bad, she misses her mom. :(((

also i think when she rolls up and is in the camp w/ all the other challenge of champion competitors and contestants, they are like...so what is ur name and shes abOUT TO SAY STAS BC SHES SO FUCKING STUPID LOL I HATE MY LIFE and is like st---aaaaaan??? LOLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!! and does the medieval version of the nervous bisexual finger gun jazz hand combo i am in PAIN. and they are like...okay? i guess? weirdo? they do think stas is so weird that whole time, she does have a lot to prove AND SHE DOES BITCH!!!! they respect the hell out of her later bc she is WIPING THE COMP, BABY!

which, speaking of stas passing as a boy...i actually do not think she is trans like ravenstan is? i think she is just Really Masc? and likes a lot of traditionally masculine activities and having short hair and doesn't reject the idea of being a woman but thinks its stupid that She personally gets rejected and is not allowed to do things she likes because they reserved exclusively for Men! stas vs. the patriarchy! listen i think raven would fuck w/ stas so heavy she would Scare Him though, like she is Powerful for a human.

i do think she is lowkey ripped like....HEEEELLLOOOOO???

kylie get ur jaw off the floor bestie!!!! STAND UP!!!!

running joke in tkak, i think, that everyone is like...squints...u know u are...like very beautiful for a man? you are kind of the most beautiful man i've ever seen like you are honestly pretty enough to be a girl? and she's like...ahsshahhaa thank you? my mom does tell me i'm kind of like having a boy daughter sometimes...ALSO THAT MADE HER SO DEPRESSED BC SHE WAS THINKIN ABOUT SHARON AND SHE WAS LIKE WHAT FUCK I HATE IT HERE bc i think sharon thinks shes dead or something bc she rode off & just disappeared completely?

okay, moving onto kylie...i am OBSESSED with her also!!! i got a little less on her, but stas is kind of the protag rn so it makes sense? but so when i was developing tkak At First, i gave ky...Reeeeally Long Hair bc i am obsessed w giving kyle really beautiful curly long hair ( jersey my beloved please kiss me on the lips ). she also ONLY has her hair up like for most of the fanfic? in REALLY ELABORATE hairdos?

like the handmaidens do her hair every morning and put that shit up and it does take forever which is suuuuch a pain in the ass ( yes kylie do be dummy thicc like actual kyle...i actually do not think stas has to bind tbh bc shes always in the armor and the really flowy tunic and riding pants and the boots w the short ass hair ( WHEN I TELL YOU SHE IS FINE I MEAN THAT LIKE PPL DIED!!! LITERALLY!!!! )

...she also has zero boobs i gave stan no ass and i think its only fair that stas has zero boobage...but when i tell you...oh my goodness oh my damn...kylie in the corset thing w her biddies pushed up to heaven...stas is abt to throw up constantLY!!!! DOOOOOWN SO HORRENDOUS LIKE PLEASE GO TO HELL!!!!! sooo funny. i have been laughing typing this whole goddamn ask meme, i'm screaming!

stas lying awake at night in a cold sweat bc Women...jaaaaaaail smh.

speaking of women, kylie is like 100% a lesbian like it just tracks bc all my kyles are super mega gay. people don't know about it, they only know that she hasn't taken a husband yet and that her dad keeps trying to set her up with these stupid ass idiot men from other kingdoms and she quite literally drives them away bc shes so SCARY. all my kyles are so scary, kylie is no exception like they call her the tempest bc she is literally so frightening. men run away screaming.

tbh gerald is so serious about her being princessy and hidden away in the castle...when i was developing tkak again and i gave ky the long hair and gerald was constantly having it put up with no exceptions like she is not allowed to be seen by anyone w her hair down? and i was like is it bc kyle...just has long hair and is kind of a little femme? idk? but LISTEN IT ALL MAKES SENSE TO ME NOW BECAUSE ITS ACTUALLY BC GERALD THINKS KYLES MERIDA HAIR IS UNBECOMING OF A WOMAN AND HES A MOTHERFUCKER AND MAKES HER CONFORM THE STANDARDS OF BEING REFINED.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! IS ANYONE ELSE SCREAMING???

oof...the day stas sees kylie w/ her hair down...the homoeroticy...its gonna be so crazy, the tension is going to be so intense omg.

okAY SPEAKING OF THE TOXIC YURI TSOT STYLE...they do hate eachother. kylie specifically hates humans bc sheila is dead in tkak..smh...she was also killed by humans...so kylie HATES humans. she is also really spoiled and coddled and Baby. and stas is tough and worked for everything in her life and is hard as a motherfucker i love you so bad stas...she's so cooooooolll!!! but yeah they bicker a lot. btw...kylie is short in the ncu tsot and stas is tall like i think there is a whole dialogue where stas is like i just never thought that the princess of all kingdoms who possesses all that power would be soooo....and kylie is like? enchanting? radiant? ravishing? beautiful? and shes like...Little. KHDLKHDSLK LOOOOOL IM CRYING HELP.

i am talking so much i'm so sorry guys but i said the tsot toxic yuri was like mulan and it so is...its also like Tangled, which are the two best disney movies which fuck you so much disney! free palestine!

but i digress again and i will explain myself because you know how i am; i do not put anything out unless i feel strongly about it. so kylie does not want to engage in ~Princessy Stuff~ mostly bc its whack and she is not trying to belong to a man like Property? but its also because...She Wants To Be A Doctor. <3333

i was thinking too hard about ship in a bottle kyle being the ships sawbones and pep kyle ripping stans throat open to save his life and i was like...doctor!kylie! but obvi...its very frowned upon...women cannot be doctors...Princesses Cannot Be Doctors. she also is nooot allowed to leave the palace bc of sheilas assassination, aaaaalso bc shes a woman...are we sensing a theme here? men suck.

but okay, so stas passes pretty well for a man...also her voice is really raspy and husky WHEEEW ONE CHANCE STAS!!! but obvi when kylie finds out stas is a girl, she says something funny like By Gods! By All The Seven Hells You Are Woman! and stas is like oooooooooofffffffff!!! pleeeease don't send me to the gallows i can explain ( she cannot explain she is supposed to kill kylies dad ) but kylie is like...i will let you live...Human Girl...on one condition...( stas is like u have to be fucking shitting me bc like this is the second time this shit has happened to her...smh ) anYWASAYS!!! kylie is like on one condition...u sneak me past the palace walls and let me see the outside world.

aGAIN STAS HAS NO CHOICE so she's like...Sigh...okay. and i think they have a wizard friend in the castle who charms kylie to look like a boy ( respectfully my ladyship she is so Well Endowed in the chest area and very femme so she cannot pass as a boy like stas can...rip so sorry ) so she can sneak out and not get caught BUUUT!!! the magic only lasts so long so she has to be back like within the hour? stas takes kylie to kupa keep at some point and its...very cute. pls clap.

LAST THING THIS IS THE VERY LAST THING I SWEAR YOU GUYS! so it's called to kill a king bc stas is supposed to kill gerald and not kylie which...stas does avoid asking abt it later bc shes in love with her i hate my life...but its bc she cannot ascend the throne bc shes a girl. again, i hate everything. choke and die gerald. WHICH WITH ANY HOPE!!! HE WILL!!!! MAYHAPS! but cartman is like nahhh i do not rlly care abt killing her she's not a threat?

but then she IS A THREAT bc she's getting in the way of the assassination attempt and stealing the piece of the stick of truth cartman needs to be all powerful and evil so cartman is like just kidding ur gonna have to kill her bestie, she's pissing me off. so he has stas...SLOWLY POISON HER??? w/ some kind of mushroom concoction that goes in her daily tea? and kylie is like oh! thank u stanley...but i think she knows stan is stas at that point bc theyre friends mayhaps...BUT ITS SLOWLY MAKING HER SICK. which is hard to notice bc its really slow to avoid suspicion, kylie is also super chronically ill...she has some sort of Illness the whole fic that makes her kind of weak and frail even tho her mind is strong to mimic kyles diabetes in sp? BUT OOOOOOF I HATE MY LIFE EVERYTHING SUX.

anyways for the 7934709324 time! STYLE TOXIC YURI!!!!

what do we think gayng??? are we rocking w it? *sweats*

-uncle nina, who has to stop coming up w/ crazy au ideas

p.s. i might...accidentally misgender stas and kylie or use stan or kyle by accident when answering questions...if i get them...bc i'm so used to my styles being masculine and boys. so if y'all could be patient with me, i'd really appreciate it bc *stas vc* I Am Only Human.

#I TALKED SOOOO MUCH ABOUT THIS #i went crazy stupid i fucking love the toxic style yuri sm #as a crazy bisexual bitch who wants a scary wendy testaburger gf this thrills me so much ( i fumbled airport girl so bad dont look at me )#i love stas and kylie so much #also i hope we like my weird stas name choice i refused to have her go by...*wretches* sh*n or sh*nnon bc its rm!stans deadname #actually hideous its also not that cute #i think stas is cute and also its four letters like stan <3 #fair warning she does have to go by stan like most of the fic which is whack but a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do #which is assassinating the king of all kingdoms #and his annoying but mega fine daughter #when i tell u stas is down so bad like bestie my eyes are up here!!! i am crying she b losing her train of thought often #she do be getting whacked in the face by her lance and walking into walls STARING...go to jail stas...horny girl max security dungeon #BUT ANYWAYS DO WE THINK THIS IS COOL I THINK THIS IS SO COOL I AM SO FUCKING STOKED ON IT #me: BY THE GODS!!! WHAT IN SEVEN HELLS #i'm sorry if this was way too much information i got really excited i hope u are also hooked and excited #UNCLE NINA TSOOOOOOOOT

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