#'it feels like my tumblr dash but i can listen to it' are you kidding me that's so lovely thank you SO MUCH
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please why do so many of these posts go "I don't like rap but--" we do not need to know that. and people not knowing who kendrick lamar is???? this is so confusing to me, I've always felt like tumblr had kind of an unrelatable feeling to it but not to this extent. rap and rnb have been the dominating cultural forces in music for the past 20 years, for most of us that's our entire lives. am I to understand you avoided it? where did you live that it wasn't playing everywhere? what is going on here? to hear there are people my age who aren't familiar with kendrick lamar is wild enough, but to be totally in the dark on anything and anyone he's talking about........I don't get it, obviously I like rap, but in my actual real life even people who don't have favorite rap albums know this stuff........?????????? how did I just see a post by a 26 year old saying they didn't know who future was. in what scenario can you go 26 years without hearing mask off ten million times. is everyone on this website from alaska? is that it? that wouldn't surprise me. maybe that's the reason I never know half of the stuff on my dash. I don't know what ace attorney is and at this point I fear it's too late to ask. one time I saw a post that called my chemical romance "one of the most famous bands in america" and I had heard of them for the first time like three days earlier on tumblr. I thought we all listened to good kid maad city. to pimp a butterfly was dissected in essays. DAMN. won a pulitzer. where are you guys from???
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*pinches the bridge of my nose*
Okay kids, sit down. I think things in the fandom space needs a little clarification.
Fan Artists and Fan Fiction writers are frustrated and upset about how the reblog rate has plummeted over the years as the rest of the internet moved to a 'hit the heart to help the algorithm'. Tumblr doesn't work that way. Likes don't do anything for a post, it just locks it in your personal scrapbook.
You Do Not Have to Reblog things YOU do not want to
When people say 'reblog the post' they mean reblog instead of ONLY hitting the like button. Tumblr relies on reblogs to put things on your dash. If you're liking something, then it hits your interests, and you should be reblogging it.
HOWEVER YOU ARE NEVER OBLIGATED TO REBLOG ALL THE THINGS.
Most people, including myself, will reblog from friends because we're friends! I support your foray into a fandom space I have no understanding of, but odds are if you are into it, then some of my other mutuals may be into it so I'll reblog. But I'm not out here reblogging every post I see from people I don't know in fandom spaces I'm not familiar with. It's my blog. I curate what I'd like. Some people have a dozen sideblogs for every fandom niche interest. Some of us just have the one blog and you strap in for whatever fandom chaos we go on. If you tag me in something, I occasionally miss it because I get the notification on my phone but don't have the free moment to do it and forget. Or maybe I add it into my queue.
When you are creating something you need to be mindful of your audience.
I'm in my mid 30s. I do not play in the Disney space (I know Disney Descendents is popular? That came out waaaaay after my time I don't know what it is), I don't know what that girl with the ghost band thing is that was going around a few years ago. I have fellow adult friends who do not engage with fan creation that involves minors. Additionally, I've seen people create OCs for shows like Criminal Minds. Hey! more power to you, I've never watched the show, and I know there's fic out there (I had someone tell me about a what I think was a Harry Potter/Criminal Minds crossover??? wow), but it's not going to get the same kind of traction as say, a Teen Wolf fan work.
I'm not saying don't create for your niche interests! CREATE! BE FREE AND MERRY! but understand that those creations just won't get the same kind of traction because it's a niche interest.
We create for ourselves, we share to find other people who enjoy our hobbies.
Which brings me to my second point:
NO ONE IS KNOCKING ON YOUR BEDROOM DOOR TO MAKE FRIENDS
Making friends is hard! I totally get it. But a sure fire way to turn people off way fast is to start a conversation with me but make it abundantly clear you care about nothing that I say/offer and are just waiting for your turn to talk so you can tell me about YOUR things and expect ME to ask questions. Conversation is a two way street. It's a back and forth. It is not me sitting there like a parent patiently listening to my child tell me about the cool toy adventure they're doing. I'm not your parent. I'm not your captive audience. I'm another person, and if you want friends - MEANINGFUL friends - then you need to make an effort to engage with people.
And it's hard. It's hard because so many people out there are very navel-gazey, and people get so caught up in the excitement of their own creations that they forget to ask other people about theirs. And... you're gonna have to be okay with that. You're gonna have to be okay with it feeling like pulling teeth, and know that hey! you're never gonna be buddy buddies with everyone. You just keep being you, you just keep showing the kind of person you are, and eventually it'll happen.
It's taken me over a decade to form meaningful mature friendships online. I've had friends over the years, ofc, but it's only now, when I can approach something with clear expectations and not thinking everyone is off having fun without me in some little clique, that I've been able to connect with people more honestly. And taking a five year break from tumblr helped a lot with that. I bought a house, I got a new job, I did other meaningful things with my life that wasn't on the internet.
The internet isn't actually a popularity place. You do not have to be popular to exist. I have been on tumblr since the inception pretty much. I have 200 followers and I only interact with 10 of them, maybe 15. And I'll tell you that outta those 200, 90% of them are blogs that haven't updated in years. A follower count does not promise reblogs, does not promise friends. It's literally impossible to be best buddies with 2000 people, to have a meaningful connection with every. single. one.
anyway I'm tired. I'm too old for this shit. Go touch some grass, go get off tumblr and play a new video game, join a book club, read more books, do things that aren't perpetually refreshing your dash and thinking everyone is off having fun without you because I promise you it's not fucking true. You need to have a life offline. You need a hobby that doesn't involve the computer. Seriously. Go touch grass.
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Any fiction recommendations? I’ve repeatedly read Locked Tomb, natch. I’d love something similarly brainwork inducing but maybe a touch lighter. Also not fantasy or sci fi…I need something to listen to while I do a ton of chores, and those can be hard (for me) because the unfamiliar proper nouns get confusing. :/
anon!! I'm terrible at reccing anything based on “if you liked TLT” because TLT is like five different genres in a trench coat, but I TRIED (⭐) Here are some brainworm-y recs that aren't sff — where by brainworm-y I mean that they stayed with me for a while after I finished them, but aren't overly confusing. (most of them are books, but available on audio)
Podcasts: a tumblr pal recced me the deviser based on me liking the eldritch elements of tlt; it's short and horror-y, and I really enjoyed it.
I haven't checked out the new TMA yet but I see many TLT peeps who are enjoying it (or S1 of the original The Magnus Archives could be a good entry point if you haven't ever listened to it)
TV: Unfortunately I hardly ever watch live action stuff BUT if you haven't seen either IWTV (the series not the film) or Yellowjackets, I do rec those! There's a lot of overlap between these fans and TLT fandom on my dash. His Dark Materials also goes hard and you might enjoy it (dysfunctional characters! worldbuilding! religious weirdness!) but it has more sff elements than other stuff I've recced. Oddball out of nowhere but The Great is a fun show if you enjoy the meme moments of TLT + people being gleefully horrible + having feelings despite your best intentions
Animanga: Utena (!!!!!) also Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood, which occupies a very similar space to TLT in my brain
Books!
✧ I went through my “women unhinged” goodreads shelf and found some books that are avaliable in audio format, and might appeal. These are wildly varied in scope and ngl the criterion was just “at least one person (besides myself) who enjoyed tlt also this book” and the similarities stop there. It's all vibes baby! Still, I tried
my heart is a chainsaw by stephen graham jones (horror, slasher), bunny by mona awad (horror, wildly unhinged), the witching hour by anne rice (horror, gothic)
matrix by lauren groff (historical, lesbian nuns), anything by sarah waters (historical fiction + lesbians), rebecca by daphne du maurier (historical, gothic)
the plot by jean hanff korelitz (litfic, thriller), sadie by courtney summers (thriller, coming of age). anything by gillian flynn (thrillers with terrible women).
✧ I really enjoy Tana French thrillers for the strong sense of place, great prose, and the complete emotional turmoil of her character-centric narratives. If anything sounds up your alley, I enjoyed the witch's elm + dublin murder squad series. They're murder mystery procedural but the messy characters really elevate the novels. Available in audiobook also
✧ American Elsewhere, technically scifi but set in New Mexico. Somehow, cosmic horrors who have taken over a quaint little town and worse! They are enforcing HETERONORMATIVITY upon it! They also have tentacles. The main character rocks
✧ Sundial by Catriona Ward: insane, gripping psychological horror. A mother and her unsettling daughter take a trip to the isolate desert ranch where the main chracter grew up. Surrounded by unsettling science experiments
✧ A Touch of Jen by Beth Morgan: when the parasocial relationship is so strong, it accidentally summons a hellmonster from another dimension
✧ SFF adjacent, sorry, but set in the real world (historical, tho) — Cuckoo Song by Frances Hardinge, a middle grade novel with fairytale elements that gave me more brainworms than any kids book ought to, mostly because I LOVED the main character. She occupies a very similar place in my brain as Gideon does. This is actually the only book on the list that I'm not sure is available in audio format, but if you get a chance and it's up your alley, I'd check it out
I hope there's at least ONE thing you'll like in here! lmk (also. lmk if you don't have access to a way to borrow audiobooks but would like to)
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I'm logging off shortly after making this, but I'm posting a series of boundaries despite nobody listening to them:
My pronouns are nig/ger (/srs) if your going to be weird about me and obsess over me. Anyone who chooses to be normal can use it/its. My system name is Station.
The AlaStation icon is a joke because of the white edits I keep seeing on my dash. It's based on an old picture of me, so stop calling me ugly.
Arty is not my friend, my attack dog or anyone I enable. She's incredibly weird about me being a disabled person and generally a minority. Please stop saying I control what shit she does or condone the shit she says.
Yes, Arty is my ex-girlfriend, we dated years ago and broke up for a number of reasons I don't want to say. She was the person who insisted Mage lied about Sunny and enabled my shitty behavior in the past.
Some people know her by her hosts name, which I'm not giving out for her sake. A few people (myself included) have posted a photo of the two of us. Please delete it.
Please stop mocking my trauma with my family police and CSA and my accident. Several people have come to me with jokes about me being "spineless" which I'm not okay with and they make me really uncomfortable.
Nobody is going to listen to this but please don't act like you know my disorders or the fact I'm Jewish more than I do. I know what I'm diagnosed with, I converted years ago and its just weird???
Stop telling me to go to hell, to kill myself or hoping my family situation gets worse or that my spine gets broken again. What the fuck is wrong with you.
I'm not my kid's parent, please stop saying that I am. I only call them my kid because they asked me to because they don't like any sibling terms. Please stop trying to contact them.
This is mostly for Arty: please stop saying I'll donate to people I don't know and using their situations as leverage.
Please, please stop insisting I'm lying about everything I say. Yes, I am an abuse victim who's been stalked, yes, there are recordings of me being abused on tumblr. I'm willing to answer most questions.
Stop making jokes about my headmates, them being my only friends or me having "evil" alters. Arty is not my alter, and insisting I use a disorder I don't like admitting I have as an excuse is ableist.
The most important thing I have to say is leave me alone. When this started earlier this year, I only agreed to the defense blog existing so I could let my "friends" defend themselves and I would be 20 steps removed because I don't have time for internet fights.
Here are all of the URLs I've used before I delete half of them any burner blogs I'm deleting:
haupkmn
alolatrial
leaderdaimon
bogscalespunchingbag (a joke in my recovery server, it's everyone's username)
lastresorttbh & secondlastresort
nekozombie
I really don't have time to use tumblr lately because I have a life outside of here. I have a boyfriend, a decent friend group, three jobs and therapy. I also have chronic pain so sitting on tumblr is a waste of my time.
Most of the time I have anon off, I just don't see or respond to DMs often because I don't have the app installed. Almost every time I'm on here it's via a browser.
Someone asked for a post talking about my feelings on Jack and an actual FAQ that I'll post later.
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Introduction to my Tumblr page??
This feels so awkward. I don't know why..
Okay anyway.
Hi, I'm Alex and this is the first introduction to any social media account I've ever made so sorry if it's not good.
I will just start off by explaining the image.
In the top left corner is what kind of music I like. I didn't want it to fill up too much so what I have on there right now is Mitski, Korn, The Cure, and The Misfits. But besides those four bands, I also like Mindless Self Indulgence, The Cure, System of A Down, The Garden, Creature Feature, Xasthur, My Chemical Romance, Deftones, Alien Sex Fiend, The Naked And The Dead, Aurelio Voltaire, Will Wood, Will Wood and the Tapeworms, Jack Conte, Lemon Demon, Queen, Birds Fear Death, Ghost, Melanie Martinez, Ramones, Pixies, TV Girl, Puzzle, Skinny Puppy, Oingo Boingo, and Soft Cell. Those are most of the Artists I listen to that I like four or more songs from.
Below the picture of music artists I like, there are three games I like to play. Like a Dino!, Nyan Cat: Lost in space, and Pastel Friends. I think I can say Like a Dino! is a music based game, and it almost reminds me of Magic Tiles 3, a game I used to play when I was younger. Nyan Cat also has music but a lot of meowing in it. I like Nyan Cat because of the sound effects and I personally find it a fun game. I also like how you can customize your cat. Pastel Friends is just a basic dress up game. I love dress up games where I get to create little characters. I don't know why, but it probably ties into how I used to be a cringy gacha kid when I was younger, but who the hell knows 🤷 It's fun and I think it's cute. But besides those three games I also like to play Fun Run 3, Geometry Lite, Geometry Dash, SubZero, Doki Doki Literature Club, Baldi's Basics, Custom Cast, Goat Simulator, Minecraft, and Gacha Life 2. Gacha Life 2 is only to dress up and make cute characters again, I promise I do not participate in any Gacha Heat 😞🙏
Below the games there are three movies. Pirates of the Caribbean 1: The Curse of the Black Pearl, Pirates of the Caribbean 2: Dead Man's Chest, and Pirates of the Caribbean 3: At World's End. POTC 3 is my ultimate favorite though. My favorite character is Hector Barbossa and he is just such a good character in my opinion! I do not wanna say too much because I'm afraid I might spoil something, but he owns a monkey named Jack and I remember a specific scene at the end of one of the movies Hector is seen baby talking Jack (not Sparrow).
On the right side of the movies, there is an anime I really liked and have for four years. HunterxHunter!!! I love it so much I have no idea why. Like I hate so many of the characters, like that stupid clown Hisoka, and there's also the bald lemon head looking bald grandpa in the Zoldyck family, but it's not Zeno. But besides that, I find it a nice anime.
On top of HunterxHunter, there's two people I made in Pastel Friends. Me on the left and my girlfriend on the right. I will not say her name for her own sake but she is the best and I'd do anything for her. We were friends for a year before we got into a relationship and she's the most perfect person I've ever met.
On top of my girlfriend and I is Illumi Zoldyck. There is not much to say. I just like him :P
And on top of Illumi, there is the unlabeled flag. I hope its not outdated, I kind of rushed making this whole thing. But I do not have any labels on my gender/sexuality. I am not cis, demi-boy, demi-girl not hetero, bisexual, pansexual, I am just me and prefer the pronouns he/him or they/them. But it is completely cool if you go by any of the sexual orientations/genders I just listed!! 🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️🌈🌈🌈🏳️🌈 bwyafypdh
I think I explained everything on the image, now I will tell you other things
My favorite drink is eggnog, my favorite foods are probably steamed vegetables, my favorite candy is suckers, my favorite dinosaur is the Spinosaurus, my favorite colors are red and sometimes green.
Likes: Candles, things that smell good, writing, reading, poetry, winter, the cold, caffeine, pirates, dinosaurs, language from the 1500's, music, the grinch, lipgloss, socks, cool mugs, sketching, mini dioramas
Dislikes: Being too warm, MY HANDS BEING STICKY, naps, breaking my elbow, cracking my knuckles and feeling pain, mean teachers
I have a basic DNI list
My favorite book is also The Timekeeper by Rob Kidd!
#mitski#korn#the cure#the smiths#the misfits#soad#xasthur#mcr#deftones#msi#mindless self indulgence#alien sex fiend#introduction#hunter x hunter#i hope i did this right#omg#gourmet lolipops are so good
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Yes Rouge, thank you for listening to my insane ramblings about DBZ and Just Dance
Sup. I'm the ratman, another lunatic with a blog. Glad you could make it. Lemme ramble about myself for a bit
Disclaimer: Would really recommend you follow this blog with caution if you're a minor. This may be a SFW blog, but I'm still an adult with little to no filter at times.
Blinkies.cafe for all your blinkie needs. #flashing lights will be used on all my posts with blinkies.
Who am I?
Just a filthy queer in his basement with ridiculous spiritual beliefs and mental problems. But we vibin.
As far as names go, ratman or The Boys works just fine.
Bit of an amateur cook. Autism be damned I can work a stove. Not a grill thats scary.
I'm a seamstress when I feel adventurous. It's fun to dress up and cosplay a bit. Would love more time to do DIY shit.
Started T early 2021, top surgery late 2022.
I have cats. I love cats.
System-wise, we're a mixed bag. If you really must know, yes it started because of The Trauma. Although not everything has to do with our childhood lore. The soulbonds certainly don't.
If you guess a kintype of ours correctly I'll send you a Jolly Rancher in the mail /j
What do I post about?
Fandom, of course. Mainly DBZ and Just Dance, some Homestuck, maybe a bit of Undertale. The occasional Fablehaven if I'm really feeling it. Others to pop up as shit filters through my dash.
Fanfiction. Which I write when I feel like it. Will be tagging as #ratman scribbles in the future.
Art. I also draw when I feel like it. Tagged with #ratman doodles
Some serious topics I think are important, in some form or fashion. Will be tagged with #ratman rants if you need to avoid them.
#ratman after dark for anything particularly spicy if ykwim. This gets a lot more use on my sideblog to be fair-
Where else can you find me?
@saffronthreads is the selfship sideblog. 18+ ONLY.
Theres a very inactive system blog at @theboysbevibin too I guess?
Who can interact? Anyone really, unless I hit the block button. But let's just cover some bases.
Some of what I reblog is stuff I dont 100% agree with. Some of its not the most well-written, either. They're Tumblr posts and I have a bad mouth. Get tf over it.
Pupgender bi gay demiboy with paw/it pronouns? Fuck yeah. Lesbian men? Friends, all of them. Transspecies? Transracial adoptees? Hell yeah, sorry there's some shitty people trying to steal your terms. Oh and speaking of!
Trans-BPD? Nah I don't think so. These identities play by different rules, you don't just "transition" to another the way you do with gender.
"Oh youre in fandom? Are you pro or anti-" The things I have to say would have them both on my ass. I'm all for fuck-nasty art (yes even THAT immoral shit, yes even if the art doesn't explicitly condemn the immoral shit being depicted). But that ain't something you can just pick up and make. Let alone publish online, or criticize meaningfully. Unless there's a real kid (or otherwise) involved, it ain't the governments business to ban or arrest anyone over fuck-nasty art (and that would lead to WAY too many other problems). Pick better words than pro/anti nonsense, it's 2024. Say "taboo fetish content". Say what you mean.
On that note, if you're really gonna label me as a "proshipper" or an "anti", fine. I'm neither, but I'm not your dad so I can't stop you. But I'm not figuring out whether or not I fit in your DNI, so if you don't like my stances, block me. Or tell me. Idfk something along those lines. I just get real salty about this topic in particular.
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Sigh—I’ll try for all the KHR muses and only them because I have enough credibility to speak on them. We know the reason why I won’t speak on the other muses tho I technically know them. My fingers will DIE if I write for all of them. SO! Let’s get started! In no particular order! Tumblr better not word limit me--
Enma and Dino are both rather clumsy muses and I’ve seen some Dino’s out there be mostly characterized by their clumsiness and their affable nature, and sometimes they neglect the side of him that’s very suave, cool, and powerful. I like the fact that you do remember that he’s got that coolness to him and that he doesn’t seem to shrink back away from Hibari. He’s got some fight in him, which I find somewhat new from what I’ve mostly seen historically on dash. Enma, is still clumsy but you also see a lot of deprecation and worries about how others may perceive him (including his own famiglia) and you can feel the way this damaged the relationship he has with himself. Even still, he isn’t so dejected and broken over his circumstances that he neglects things that interest him. From the choices of memes sent from him, I can see that despite his clumsiness and how he’s not good at much, he still tries. He’s got heart. He’s not just some kid who is seemingly depressed and that’s the end all be all. There’s more to him than that and I adore that.
Gomen Primo Shimon-- //sets him aside
SO! Primo Storm! It’s a hard one, considering Amano gave us so little information to work off of, but from discord conversations, it’s fascinating to listen to the thoughts and ideas that you have for him and then incorporate ideas for what you think fits his characterization. I like how there is definitely a clear difference between G and Gokudera, like G isn’t being treated like a ‘calmer Gokudera’. He feels like his own individualistic character. A big thing that I particularly like is the fact that the way G thinks of, around Giotto feels like one would a friend- and not a subordinate/loyal fanboy doggo (which some people have portrayed Gokudera as) and that distinction between the way the two convey their loyalty towards their ‘boss’ is subtle but incredibly important. I’ve never mentioned it, but I’ll do it here. I love that you paid attention to that and make it distinct. Whether you did so consciously or not, I picked up on it and Love it. A lil gruff, but he’s got the good intentions.
Admittedly, I haven’t seen much of Mukuro and I don’t send to him because--- I’m not the fondest of Mukuro personally lololol He makes me feel on edge because he intimidates me. He’s got Chrome and Tsu-chan so he doesn’t need Haru to bother him kekekeke he’ll live! Moving on!
Shoichi Irie from what I’ve seen a lil bit of (gomen I’ll try to send him more things WHEEZE) has that slight awkward and nervous air about him, but it’s only like a small accent of his persona. Shoichi is still mostly calm and a bit quiet. I think you do well in keeping him mostly calm but with that smallest bit of secret trembling chihuahua energy. He’s a good kid and you’re doing great in portraying that in the lil bit that I’ve seen of him.
Phew… the last one…did I lose you yet? Lol Let’s see… at this point I don’t remember what I’ve said and what I haven’t yet so let’s just--- go for it. We’ve established the fact that I enjoy the way you flesh out your characters. (For those not privy, reading this not knowing what I mean, I use it to mean that a character feels realistic as if they are of flesh and blood. So they aren’t just a 2d representation of a muse) I’ll go more in depth as to what I mean. I’ve mentioned to you before that I haven’t really seen anyone address the fact that he could lose his hearing due to his choice of weaponry (something I’ve wondered about over the years) so I was pleasantly surprised when you did.
Yes, Gokudera has his anger issues and has such a LOVELY way with his words, but despite it, he cares for others and sometimes simply doesn’t realize just how badly his words can come off. When you take into consideration his upbringing compared to the rest of the cast, it puts into perspective why he can have such an attitude with people and may not readily understand that he could be hurting people. He doesn’t purposefully try to hurt people, and he doesn’t just lash out at people for the sake of lashing out. He’s rude, yes, but he has his moments when he’s just an average guy and he can be calm when interacting with those that jack up his blood pressure like Haru or Lambo. Simpler put: you don’t write his rudeness/anger like that’s simply how it is. There is a time and place for when he does, which does fit more in line with what we see in canon, instead of just making him rude to anyone aside from Tsuna- which isn’t the case.
Then the additional information you provide such as the issues he has with his insecurities, aversions to sweets, or his (lack of) eating habits which really give more depth to him as a character and why he has the motivations he does, and why he is the way he is. It’s a lot of thought and care put into explaining his thoughts and give reason behind his actions. It’s also very fun the way that he may be a genius but is a facking dumbass when it comes to his emotions. It is very sensical for his general character design because of the way he lived his life thus far. Anything he’s done that is kinda SQUINT, it’s fitting for how a guy in the mafia could think. The way he’s just so lost but slowly coming to the realization of feelings TM is so amusing and delicious from a chara dev lover like myself. The level of consideration and thought you put into his portrayal is very admirable and praiseworthy. It feels like you doubt yourself a lot and are very unsure of whether what you are doing is correct and I’m here to say that after me saying all this: I think you’re doing great. It doesn’t matter if you’re right or not in the realm of RP—NONE OF US ARE CANON BC THIS IS RP. It’s not canon source, so really, we’re ALL OOC. Despite that, anyone who knows Gokudera can look at him and go ‘yeah, okay, I can see what Whiskey is going for here’.
As a blanket statement, for your portrayal overall: You and I are both ‘Amano you were a coward, so I’ll fill in the character holes you didn’t fill in. I’ll do it for you, Queen’ energy. I enjoy the fact that we talk about things and you are open to what others may have to say as feedback or thoughts in general. I can provide random thoughts or insight into things and you’ll consider it. That’s important, as it suggests you aren’t so prideful that you would disdain others for offering their thoughts on a muse as you aim for an understanding of your muse.
I’m tired now so I’ll stop there (finally).
tell me your honest opinion of my portrayal- accepting!
.Whiskey.
This was the one that made me cry.
I always doubt my portrayals or if my headcanons make sense for the muses I write for. I constantly worry if I have them in character or if it doesn't fit. Because I've seen others who write strictly canon and I get discouraged. Dupe anxiety is a thing.
And you've told me before that one of the things you do like in my portrayls is the headcanons I put in and the fact I don't just throw something in and bullshit my way out of it, I fact check and study each muse and see if it makes sense or not before posting it. Which is what I've always gone for. Because "It's anime, I can do whatever I want" only goes so far when writing a canon portrayal.
I always worry I diverge too much with them and have my muses OOC which isn't what I've tried to do, and to hear this, is reassuring.
you're right, I do doubt a lot if I'm ruining the character or actually expanding on them like I try.
Thank you for catching those things in my portrayals and thank you again for the love and support.
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B, D, J, K, M, T (doesn't have to be just DS if you don't want it to be!)
A -> Z FANDOM ASKS.
B - A pairing–platonic, romantic or sexual–that you initially didn’t consider, but someone changed your mind.
it feels like cheating to say any ships that came from rp because 90% of the time there's no way you'd consider them otherwise, but the one that stands out to me is willie and esme (ft. @retrograderesemblance) cherish them, would never have put them together on my own lol.
beyond that, and this doesn't really count for not ever considering it, but I was a w.illabeth disliker until this year, I read several persuasive defenses, and writing lizzie swayed me. so elizabeth herself changed my mind kinda.
D - A pairing you wish you liked but just can’t.
ok listen. it's s.parrington. i get it intellectually and i see the vision but i just don't like it and i have tried for years it is just not. idk. can't do it.
J - Name a fandom you didn’t think about until you saw it all over Tumblr.
i hope this is dark shadows to all my treasured mutuals whom i single-handedly inundate with ds content all over their dashes. my answer would be e.lisabeth das musical or honestly like ? robespierre of french history kinda has a stan army on here.
K - What character has your favorite development arc/the best development arc?
ohhh who would i say for ds. maybe roger because he gets domesticated, and makes truly wild strides in his relationship with his son. ( go white boy break that patrilineal curse ). weirdly i also kinda wanna say joe is up there ? he has an interesting journey from Carolyn's Rejected Puppy All American Fish Boy to like ... helping vic investigate laura, being ang's chew toy, having a mental breakdown. and also deeply caring about david! maybe i just like it when people start caring about the kid.
elsewhere it's jimothy norrington. easy. character arc of all time.
M - Name a character that you’d like to have for a friend.
not many people on this show because that's a death sentence but lowkey.. natalie dupres (josette's "spinster aunt") bc i think we would really get along. fancy french brunches with the gay aunt and we can talk shit about barnabas. even though she would bully me for my french, and rightfully so.
elsewhereeee hmm. alice k.ingsleigh would make a wonderful friend. sybil c.rawley. max b.lack sails.
T - Do you have any hard and fast headcanons that you will die defending?
most of my headcanons about vicki tbh dan curtis can piss off. namely that girl has autism. she dislikes the task of setting her hair / sleeping on rollers and rarely feels like doing it, but her and carolyn will sometimes set hair for each other for some girl time. roger fencing and liz ice skating. i also know i'm right about specifically vic's and carolyn's music taste (monkees/mamas & the papas/paul revere & the raiders/herman's hermits, and jan&dean/the ventures/elvis/beach boys, respectively). vic is also added in the collins family history. david draws her in after she dies/disappears, and elizabeth has her formally added after she discovers his handiwork.
you can also pry my "elizabeth swann's burgundy dress was esme's" from my cold dead hands ! like. that's such an important one to me sdfgfd.
#i feel like i get these asks and then immediately forget all media i've consumed and any other ships that exist other than rv and norvilla#dying suffering french stalkers#➤ answered. ┊ collinsport 4099.#➤ meme responses. ┊ boo !#➤ ooc. ┊ she’s nauseous，she’s hysterical，and she’s exhausted.
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:｡･:*:･ﾟ’★,｡･:*:･ﾟ’☆
Hi! Welcome to my blog! Some important ‘need to know’ info can be found in this pinned post along with helpful links. I encourage you to check them out before approaching me. ( Note that some information is not availible so I would implore you seek out wikipedia in the meantime. Or you can simply ask. I’m too tired and lazy to go back and forth with tumblr over the use of java for long bio pages. )
:｡･:*:･ﾟ’★,｡･:*:･ﾟ’☆
🛑 CHARACTER BIOS - incomplete but working on it || 🛑 FULL GUIDELINES HERE ( unformatted version found here. 😎 )
✅ MEME tag || MASTER HC tag || PSA tag || OPEN STARTERS tag
:｡･:*:･ﾟ’★,｡･:*:･ﾟ’☆
STATUS: OPEN FOR SHIPPING ( LIMITED )
CURRENT MAINS/AFFILIATES: @nicholas-wolfwood, @nvrcmplt, @thunderbringer, @diverse-hearts, @despairforme, TBA
CURRENT EXCLUSIVES: @shacchou ( priest seto - with ATEM ), @rhaegxr ( rhaegar targaryen - with ATEM ), @nvrcmplt ( beschu - with ATEM ),
CURRENT ACTIVITY STATUS: HIATUS W/ LIMITED ACTIVITY || I work full time in the Education profession meaning I work at least 40 hours a week / 5 days a week. There are kids in my care which means I never get a day off. I’m also dealing with family issues and mental health issues. Please understand that while I try not to leave people hanging, my real life will always come first. --- I am most active on the weekends.
MOST WANTED SHIPS / CONNECTIONS: Bard the Bowman, Thorin, or any elf from the Tolkien’s series, Gannicus, Spartacus, Aegon Targaryen, Aerys II Targaryen, Rhaegar Targaryen, Oberyn Martel, Barristan Selmy, Jorah Mormont, Khal Drogo, Petyr Baelish, Victarion Greyjoy, Jaime Lannister ( GoT / ASOIAF ), Lestat de Lioncourt ( - TVC / IWTV ), Trevor Belmont, Issac, Godbrand ( Castlevania ), Thief King Bakura ( though ill be HIGHLY selective ), Kaiba, Priest Mahad / Dark Magician ( YGO Duel Monsters series ), Sasuke Uchiha, Itachi Uchiha, Deidara, Naruto Uzumaki, Kakashi Hatake (Naruto Series ), Erwin Smith ( AoT )
Please understand that ‘most wanted ships’ or connections’ doesn’t necessarily mean I want to ROMANTICALLY ship with them all. However, with some of them, I am open to it if the chemistry is there.
:｡･:*:･ﾟ’★,｡･:*:･ﾟ’☆
Please understand before you follow me that I don’t always follow back right away or at all. I love a small dash with barely anyone on it except for me and my replies. If this is a deal breaker for you then I am sorry.
I AM NOT MUTUALS ONLY. Nonmutuals may interact but I reserve the right to ignore anyone I don’t want to interact with or I feel I won’t vibe with at all.
I DON’T FILL OUT INTEREST CHECKERS OR PERMANENT STARTERS. Unless you’re a terrible writer, a smut blog or your canons contradict my vision for my muses, then odds are I may be willing to interact eventually.
I am over the age of 21 ( 30+ TO BE EXACT ) which means I will only play with adults. No age on your blog, no interactions. No exceptions.
COVID IS NEVER A TOPIC TO BE USED IN INTERACTIONS. Terminal illnesses are my hard no forever and always.
LASTLY, I am not perfect and much like everyone else around here, mistakes have been made. However, i’ve never tolerated any kind of common problematic behavior. PLEASE COME TO ME POLITELY IF YOU SEE SOMETHING THAT MAKES YOU UNCOMFORTABLE. I will not tag every trigger ever but if there’s something that you feel I should genuinely know or change, I am willing to listen IF you approach me politely and not aggressively or in a condescending manner. Tone matters.
:｡･:*:･ﾟ’★,｡･:*:･ﾟ’☆ ( credits )
[ ALL PROMOS, MOBILE HEADERS, DASH ICONS, BANNERS & THEME WERE CODED BY THE LOVELY cerberuscommissions. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐Would highly recommend. Please do not steal. I give her full credit for all main graphics used on this blog, even if i sometimes forget to mention it in posts. IN ADDITION, some of my gif icons were commissioned while others were found in free gif hunts. I have also made some of my own icons while again, others were found in the tags on tumblr. My fancy ATEM BORDER was made by @faegfx . All credit to her. Alucard border is by floragfx. ]
Short List of Muses featured below the cut. Bolds are mains. Others are ‘as I feel like playing them’ characters or test muses.
THANK YOU FOR READING 🤍
Thranduil Ororpher ( The Hobbit / Tolkien )
Daemon Targaryen
Daenerys Targaryen ( ASOIAF / Game of Thrones )
Aegon I Targaryen ( ASOIAF / Game of Thrones )
Ka Suo ( Ice Fantasy series )
Pharaoh Atem / Yami Yugi ( Yu-Gi-Oh Duel Monsters franchise )
Lucy Gray ( THG )
Katniss Everdeen ( OG THG )
Gaara ( Naruto Shippuden )
Kakashi Hatake ( Naruto Shippuden )
Iruka Umino ( Naruto Shippuden )
Stede Bonnett ( OFMD )
Aziraphale ( Good Omens )
Alucard Tepes ( Castlevania Netflix )
Hector ( Castlevania )
Louis de Pointe du Lac ( Interview with the Vampire / TVC - mixed media )
Charles Xavier ( XMCU / various comic universes )
***Request / Potential Mutual Exclusive Muses Only. ( These will NOT have a long winded bio up simply because I will only play them ‘In Fandom’ OR ‘with a select few’ )
Geralt of Rivia ( The Witcher Netflix )
Nasir ( Spartacus )
Coriolanus Snow ( THG )
Rhaenyra Targaryen
Loki ( MCU )
Levi Ackerman
Armin Arlert
Dracula ( historically based )
I do have muses from The Vampire Diaries, Harry Potter / Fantastic Beasts and a slew of Marvel / Disney people. You have to inquire about them since I put most of them on side blogs i only use sporadically. I am however, willing IF you plot with me first or have GENUINE interest in writing long term.
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just want you to know that you and all of your mutuals are like. the cool kids at school. and seeing you all interact on my dash i feel like the weird kid sitting by themself strangely listening in to the conversations at the Cool Table. except you all seem like you are really nice and wouldn't make fun of people who aren't in your group (unless they deserved it by committing misogyny crimes against the women of succession...). just. randomly came up with this comparison and had to share sorry if that's a reaaally weird thing to do afjdkahdjhgakkjl
aww no it's not weird dw. ive never been a cool kid so this is very flattering <3. tbh i feel like the weird kid among my mutuals sometimes and i can't believe they want to talk to me. i feel like i absolutely harassed them into it. like the way i made laura @kerrycastellabate talk to me was by commenting on their posts and then pretending i needed romangerri fic recs. worked like a charm <3.
fwiw my favourite thing on tumblr is finding new people to interact with so u can always come join us at the table. i love a chat
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1. When are you usually online? At the moment, it is 1:27 AM, since I’m a night owl. So, I’m most active during either the late afternoon, evening or late at night my time. I miss all the good stuff while I’m asleep. RIP.
2. What verses are you involved in outside of this page? I have... quite a few blogs that are listed on my pinned post. A nsfw sideblog, my other multimuse which I am very slow with replies on ( @makinghiistory ), my super secret and crack-ish Kiryu blog from Yakuza 0 (@dragonoftokyo) and LASTLY... Akira, my beloved asshole child/husband. (@phantomuheist)
3. What is your biggest RP pet peeve? Not reading people’s rules. This especially goes for personal blogs who don’t listen. Also, softblocking people without a good reason is just silly.
4. Are you drawn to specific types of muses? You know. Girls. Boys. Powerful girls, traumatized ones. Soft ones who are actually tough on the inside. That kind of thing.
5. Are there recurring themes in your writing that people might not notice? I don’t know, I just write whatever comes to mind, although I tag dark stuff accordingly when I can.
6. What are your favorite RP trends? I mostly like seeing dash commentaries for a good laugh and I join in when I can. Crack threads or even better... Arcana Swap AUs are freaking amazing, join me in this hell.
7. What is your process for starting a new story with someone? I don’t really like tumblr IMs, so your best bet is to find me on Discord if I’m not on here, and shoot an idea at me! I’ll give you my own thoughts and then we’re golden.
8. How do you feel about duplicates? Duplicates are great, and I admire each and every one of you! Of course I welcome them, it’s why twin AUs and multiverses exist!
9. How long have you been involved in roleplaying? About 10 years now? I first started RPing on Facebook by accident, then it kinda became... an obsession for kid me because I made some amazing friends. Then I heard about Tumblr and here I am, haha. Still here.
10. Is there a muse or verse you wish you could write in, but haven’t? From this series, it would probably be Adachi or other adults, I guess? I’m not too interested now, although I wrote Goro Akechi after finishing Royal, then quit a few months later. Whoops.
Tagged by: @thuganomxcs
Tagging: if you see this, you’re tagged.
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*sigh*
This is my second time typing this bc tumblr is a bitch. Therefore, no pretty bullet points or fonts, I'm just gonna use dashes, then copy paste from my notes app.
Anyway, YOU ASKED FOR SONG RECS, HERE ARE SOME!
I tried to not go too mainstream so you'd get plenty of new stuff. Many of these artists have plenty of other good songs too so if you particularly like one, check their other stuff!
Be aware some of these are violent and/or sexual as well as containing other potentially upsetting material, lmk if you need individual content warnings
- Belladonna Melodrama by Charming Disaster
- Constellation by Powderpaint
- Sex With A Ghost by Teddy Hyde
- The Woods by Sam Fermin
- The Fine Print by The Stupendium
- Sometimes by Nick Lutsko
- Farewell Wanderlust by The Amazing Devil
- Hell's Coming With Me by Poor Man's Poison
- The Haunted Phonograph by ThouShaltNot
- I/Me/Myself by Will Wood
- Love You Like An Alcoholic by The Taxpayers
- Scavenger by Shonalika (one of the members of Powderpaint from the second rec but i love them ok)
- Animal by Olivia Olson
- Falling Apart by Kim Boekbinder
- The Dismemberment Song by Blue Kid
- Rule #4 - Fish In A Birdcage by Fish In A Birdcage (from the album Fish In A Birdcage lmao)
- Fire Drills by Dessa
- Achilles Come Down by Gang Of Youths
- Six Feet by Mike's Dead
- Beautiful by Sopor Aeternus & The Ensemble Of Shadows
- Baby by Bishop Briggs
- Who I Am by Dope Saint Jude
- Fire With Fire by AlicebanD
- broken by lovelytheband
- Hello My Old Heart by Oh The Hellos
- Take All The Time You Need by Oh Honey
- Battle Cry by Shayfer James
- Dear Fellow Traveller by Sea Wolf
- Ship In A Bottle by Steffan Argus (I think)
- Dirty Night Clowns by Chris Garneau
- iT by Christine And The Queens
- This Is Love by Air Traffic Controller
and finally, and I think this is the most mainstream one but I feel like they're not as well known anymore as they used to be
- Brass Goggles by Steam Powered Giraffe (i prefer the 2009 version)
Bonus (if you speak German and/or don't mind music you don't understand): Antifascista by ZSK
I swear my music taste is usually more varied (and upbeat lmao) but I've been having The Depression
Hope you like a few of them!
I FORGOT ABOUT THIS IN MY DRAFTS OOPS FDKJHGHG
i didn’t end up listening to all of them, i fell out of the wanting to listen to new music mood, maybe some other time i’ll finish them all but here’s what i listened to so far:
gonna categorize these songs cause its a lot kjfshjg, i will add my comments if i have any about songs in particular 👍
already in my library:
sex with a ghost, i/me/myself, achilles come down
i haven’t listened to sex with a ghost in FOREVERRR, i/me/myself and achilles come down are in a previous main playlist but i got kinda tired of them and i’m on a new main playlist at the moment. i did relisten to them just for the sake of it. i might add them back to my main playlist :)
couldn’t listen all the way through:
animal
sorry i wanted to finish the whole thing but it really just isn’t my thing… its not bad just not for me
not my thing:
i love you like an alcoholic, animal
i have kind of mixed feelings about love you like an alcoholic tbh.
it’s okay:
broken, the woods, beautiful
the woods feels like that one vflower song to me, boccalla de verita? whatever its called, where it took me a while to get used to and now i actually really like it. i feel like i’ll probably like it eventually
beautiful is nice but its so long and i can tell i’ll get bored of it really quickly. its a bit boring for me tbh. its nice though i might listen to it occasionally :)
kinda catchy:
falling apart, belladonna melodrama, fire drills, constellations, the fine print, baby
ok i really like this:
dear fellow traveler, dirty night clowns, take all the time you need, haunted phonograph, battle cry, iT, rule 4 - fish in a birdcage,
downloading immediately:
antifascista, hello my old heart, hell’s coming with me
i never mind songs in other languages even if i don’t understand them!! as you can probably guess i have a ton of japanese (usually vocaloid) songs, and i had some other german song in my playlist at one point but i think i removed it from there and i can’t remember the name 💔
anyway antifascista FUCKS i like this a lot going into my main playlist immediately it’s loud and they yell and its a good pace i fucking love it
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exo-l tag challenge
so now that exo's coming back to properly celebrate their 10th anniversary, thought i'd send this around so we can have a wee giggle and reminisce
dunno if any of my moots are still active anymore so feel free to do this whether or not you follow me! also feel free to tag me, need some new exo-l blogs to follow as my dash is very exo-less
when did you first learn of exo?
this is really cringy but i first saw exo in twenty-fourteen on a 'youtubers react to k-pop', they were reacting to "overdose" and i kid you not, i was so put off their styling i wanted nothing to do with it. i hated it (and i still bloody do)
and then, a little while later they put out a 'teens react to exo' and i hadn't connected they were the same group. anyways, i saw yixing with that blonde hair and my mind went "that one, i like that one"
so don't let anyone ever tell you a visual is a stupid position
(it was probably a lot to do with the fact the boy i really liked had the same hairstyle)
turns out, my friend at the time was vaguely into them (she was more into super junior & shinee) and we just clicked over that and the rest was history
who was / is your bias?
yixing was my first bias ever, and i vaguely remember bouncing around yixing + luhan but i think like a month in jongdae committed the cardinal sin of a bias wrecker and became the ult bias
don't ask me how, it might have been showtime? but yeah jongdae's been my ult since twenty-fifteen. oh god.
where you team exo-k / exo-m?
i was pretty openly exo-m, because yixing was my bias and would only exclusively listen to their versions of the b-sides, until "the war" and it's funny that jongdae became my bias because i really don't think it was his vocals that sold me on him because i was too busy thinking "i wish lay would get more lines"
now looking back, yeah jongdae (and yixing) were my bias individually but as a collective, i preferred exo-k (also, "candy" and "mirotic" were better than "sorry sorry" + "happiness")
favourite m/v?
"lotto". not my favourite song in the world but the aesthetics, the 'plot', jongdae in the white smashing up that table with a hammer? ugh, love it. jongdae and baekhyun's era.
i love a music video with a plot, i would love to see them do a "now" or "365 fresh" but i don't think my heart could take it lol
honourable mentions: monster & i love 'love shot' probably because its in the same vain as "lotto" if it were less plot, more vibes.
also chanyeol with no shirt and that black leather, ugh.
the music video isn't my favourite, but i love the 'alice in wonderland' aspect of "love me right"
favourite album?
i think it really depends on what day you ask me, also my favourite album isn't always the one i think its their best. i'm really enjoying the obsession album right now but the "love me right (exodus)" is exo's magnum opus and dare i say "lotto (ex'act)" is the best sequel since shrek two.
but i really didn't like "love shot (don't mess up my tempo)" and it killed me inside but i only liked two of the b-sides
top ten tracks?
exodus
heaven
thunder
my lady
forever
cosmic railway
white noise
hurt
christmas day
fall
favourite soloist / subunit?
unit is absolutely exo-cbx. their "hey mama" mini-album is a no-skip album, their second mini wasn't really for me but "vroom vroom" is amazing also jongdae's "watch out" is brill but i can't listen to it without remembering him decking it on stage
that said, i still mourn the concept of chenbaeksoo unit and i'm still really disappointed sment didn't milk the shit out of that trio like kry or tts before them
favourite performance?
it feels a bit cliche to say the "wolf (remix)", the olympics or "artificial love" so i think i'll have to go with twenty-fifteen's mama set it was fantastic, show stopping and a bit chaotic
but shout-out to baek's "monster" in tokyo dome. y'all baby exo-l missed out on the shitstorm that was tumblr / twitter.
also, not a 'favourite' but cbx in "run this" at the golden disk awards being visibly pissed-off and screaming into their mics because of the "lip-sync" rumor
your exo hot take?
not an unpopular "hot take" but i know folk get stick for it
i really dislike superm, like seriously. i really dislike sm's management of it. sm had a perfectly good group to go up against bts on a global stage and they screwed it up. they weren't rookies like most of nct, they weren't too "out there" like shinee and the less said about suju the better.
also, they're a 'global group' yet all their best songs are mostly korean.
but they squandered it, they prioritised the nct brand both with the group itself and superm and tacked exo + taemin into their daft group to make older fans give a shit and they took away exo's chance at their final ot8/9 comeback before enlistment.
also, whilst it was for the better, kris leaving exo really stilted their international growth as a unit and individuals, honestly just the china line generally as they are collectively a lot stronger in their english as opposed to the korean members
showtime, ladder or arcade?
overall, ladder but i love showtime, especially episode eleven. i think that's when i first thought "hey that really fucking loud guy is pretty cute"
collab you'd like to see (western + k-pop)?
in regards to sm, i would love to see taeyeon, wendy, kyungsoo and jongdae take a shot at either a jazz or r'n'b collab track.
k-pop generally, baekyeol + dreamcatcher
western, bruno mars & kyungsoo
what would you like for exo to do next?
sm please! give me an english version of their title! almost everyone else at sm has one! hell, there was literally an english version of "the eve"!
but also, royalty concept (they've bloody earned it and exo-l's can't keep suggesting it every comeback)
but personally, it'd love to see a twenties or thirties "great gatsby" concept
funniest exo moments(s)?
"say hey!" that entire performance is a disaster, baek getting interrupted, then spooked by a pyro and finally jongdae decking it in the dance break of "growl"
the water fight during exoluxion
jongdae's outbrust at sehun on knowing bros
exomentary's bowling episode (rip chanyeol)
sehun and the beluga whale
the exo-l screaming "yah baekhyun!"
jongdae scaring the shit out of doni on weekly idol (deserved)
everyone yelling that baekhyun picked 'i got a boy' and not ‘gee’ like a normal person (personally luhan made the best choice)
baek, tao and luhan's haunted house run
heechul's various impressions of kyungsoo on knowing bros
favourite line?
chingu, we never get to see them anymore but they (especially the beagles) were always tied to the hip, that said i've defo gone soft for the maknae line
who's the traitor? is there one?
kris it's absolutely jongdae. i know folk think it's baekhyun but or chanyeol but after "lotto", i feel like that rules out chanyeol and baekhyun after "monster".
jongdae seems to be doing the opposite to everyone in these music videos whilst still being 'apart of it'
like: the white shirt in "lotto", standing at the 'last supper', the cameras in obsession, the smashing of their earnings in "lotto" the 'no fucks given attitude' when the swat shows up, unlike the rest of the group
favourite pathcode?
baekhyun, its so pretty but i also love sehun's as a resident scot
favourite cursed moment(s)?
"my name is baekhyun, but you can call me bacon" stfu bake-hun
suho meeting jedward
chanyeol's nick mask
exo: next door (side note: why was exo-m + jongin just not in the show?)
baekhyun's 'best looking' ranking on weekly idol
"wolf" demo
who's "baby-girl" are you picking?
kyungsoo's in "call me baby" but shout-out to jongdae's underrated one in "juliet"
favourite exo collab?
i've got a few, probably "lil' something" with jongdae & heize or his collab with ailee
it kills me that taeyeon was unwell whilst singing with jongdae also, chanyeol's collab with far east movement
favourite cover?
vocal line + sehun's "why so serious"
exo & yuna kim's "happiness" (vocal line sound brill in this)
sunday morning
#exo#jongin#baekhyun#chanyeol#kyungsoo#junmyeon#sehun#jongdae#minseok#yixing#kai#chen#suho#lay#xiumin#my posts
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i’m actually glad i made the decision to go on hiatus for a few reasons.
number one is obvious: the generation that was on here is driving me up the wall. i’m going to be 30 next saturday and i’m actually starting to feel better about my sexuality than i did when i was questioning it at 25 (not that much, but better than it was, though: before i couldn’t hardly move some days), so of course i want erotic content and content catered to my demographic, and away from this overly sanitized environment that is tumblr in 2023. (corollary of this: this site is more unwieldy than facebook now, and that’s sad. that’s just sad. a place that was built on freedom of expression away from the judgments of the blue monster has now become the very thing they were against.)
really, once you unlock sexuality, you can’t stop it. mark my words, kids.
and even though i genuinely believed that no one would miss me, instead—it was the weirdest thing—almost immediately, i noticed a pushback against the whole “my mutuals are perfect in every way possible and we’re all positive and everyone can go to hell if they slightly disagree uwu” mindset (i know this because i poked my head in yesterday to turn off tumblr live and i saw a post on my dash that made me wonder, and I went through the fanfic tags just out of curiosity). i’m starting to see people say “yeah, criticism is necessary. everyone is entitled to their opinion. what happened to this?” which is undoubtedly my whole grievance about this stupid, immature, overly saccharine collective mindset, aside from just my being in a different headspace and finding it both impossible to coexist with and inhuman—i associate these fucking posts about mutuals with hazing, with making it seem like i don’t belong here or like i have no right to be here, usually because i see them in junction with “NO CRITICISM ALLOWED!” in the world of fanfic. it’s hazing and it’s probably worse than straight bullying because of its insidious nature.
and listen, there really is a way of doing it: what happened with me was purveyors of this mindset were basically hazing me, blocking me and getting the news out that i’m somehow a bad person all because i have a different opinion (LOOKING AT YOU GREEN DRUIDESS AND TEMPLE).
nevertheless, cue the flame wars, which i find that i am (thankfully) missing but i had a feeling they were coming, especially when i saw that post talking about “ao3 etiquette” a second time and op had the balls to make a big point that any and all criticism is not allowed.
number two: as the seasons grey, blood & chocolate, love is not enough, and like blood from a stone are getting huge, especially blood & chocolate. like it surprises me how big these fics, especially that one, are getting. love is not enough and like blood from a stone have been slow to take off, but when they finally did, it’s been remarkable to me. as the seasons grey, i’ve been sharing on instagram so, just like with now it’s dark, everyone is seeing it.
and when i say everyone, i mean everyone.
since i announced my hiatus, i have gotten follows from mutual accounts to guys like alex and stu hamm, and i’ve gotten likes from dave lombardo and gary holt of all people. it’s only a matter of time before things really take off. you put good in, you get good out, as they say.
and number three: if you follow my art blog, or me on instagram, you’re probably going to see my mermay drawings for this year. the prompts drop tomorrow, and tbh, i’m a bit nervous.
yesterday, i was talking to lili (sweetness-doesnt-touch-my-face on here, msladymidnight on ig) and she had posted a really beautiful poem In dedication to kurt and layne and nobody except me liked it, and it really upset her. i was telling her, just out of comfort, that engagements had dropped off a great deal with me. like, “i thought people wanted raw honesty.” i’m heading into mermay with this in mind, like i’m really not getting my hopes up because this could be a disaster.
so what do you do when you have 700+ followers and a dashboard that, despite following a metric fuckload of blogs, is hit and miss most of the time? well, you talk about it, of course. if things take off, i won’t distance myself, and i could never do that anyway.
but sometimes… tumblr.
you need to listen. you need to learn. and sometimes…
you just need to shut the fuck up and let people be different from you.
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Alright I put off telling you this straight away cus I thought I was gonna get in SO MUCH TROUBLE but here you are. Also Tumblr deleted the first part of my message so the writings not up to scratch Tumblr CEO count your fucking days I've calculated the IP address of that weird Pikachu man you keep putting on my dash I'll find yours too cunt
So I'm lining up for my science class waiting for my teacher to show up, right? And I'm standing behind this one dickhead in the line who's like openly racist, antisemitic, mysogynistic, and homophobic. And a Hijabi person walks by our class while we're lining up, right? This is no biggie to a normal person like me (*tilts hand in a sideways motion while saying a conspicuous "eeEEeHhH"*) ofc but the dude Infront of me has his head shoved so far up his ass he should be standing in the middle of the road in an orange vest acting as a traffic cone instead of being counted as a human being. So he makes some recycled joke about terrorism and now he's Islamophobic too holy shit bingo everyone!!! So I go "dude we get it, it's small, now mind your own business before I commit several crimes before 10:30am on a Tuesday." I thought that was the end of it. I thought wrong. He then proceeds to push "women are dishwashers" and whatever else he can muster out of his shrivelled up, dehydrated arsehole and I'm like "yeah no" so I think to myself what object do I have on hand with me right now that will cause physical harm to this kid?.... Oh ho ho is that a pencil I'm holding? Perfect!! So I turn the pencil around so the sharpened end isn't facing him and proceed to relentlessly stab this child. Yes it was a bit far yes he deserved it yes my mother should've listened when I told her I was having "severe detailed homicidal thoughts" and yes it was glorious. Now normally I would never condolne violence (that's a lie I lied I'm a big fat liar liar pants on sale idk the saying I was never included in the playground games and I want to see blood) but c'mon the kid's had this coming for months now. So after I'm done stabbing this dude I'm like "okay shithead you learnt your lesson yet?" He touches his hand to the back of his head to massage it. He pulls his hand away. There's blood.. ..oh. um...... Okay this wasn't meant to happen ah shit fuck fuck fuck. Everyone else in class is like "wait that probably neurodivergent kid with social anxiety did what now" and I'm standing there like oh fuck uh he deserved it obv and I don't exactly feel bad but damn. And wouldn't you know it my fucking SCIENCE TEACHER appears right at this very moment! Great!! So I go "okay dude you totally deserved that but I do feel a bit bad for causing another human being to bleed... But then again that human being was you and I did give you a warning even though I shouldn't have to in the first pla- okay forget it I'll go get U some ice." So I go up to my teacher like "um hi sir this kid's head is bleeding can I go get some ice" and he goes "yeah sure idc." Doesn't bother to check if the kid is in any actual pain or if I'm just trying to skip. Doesn't ask how his head started bleeding in the first place. Every day I grow more and more convinced my science teacher is the zodiac killer. Anyway I leave to get ice and can't find any like anywhere so that's fun. I do come back with tissues tho so he gets that. So yeah that's the story of how 16 I think days ago I tried to kill a kid with with my pencil and my science teacher probably would have joined in if he'd been there in time. Moral of the story children: s O M E t i m e s,,,,, violence does indeed solve alot. Also stab Islamophobes and mysogynists in the head when possible alright baaiiiiii love you 💖💖💖
Bonus story the dude's girlfriend got SO MAD AT ME OMLLLLL. Like she went "why'd you Only do this to MY BOYFRIEND, hUh?? Why not [insert every guy in my school] they say this stuff toO YA KNOW." 🙄 Like ma'am first of all tame your fucking dog why is he saying shit like this in the first place. Also if you want them to suffer the same treatment that badly my prices usually range from 20 - 30 depending on if I know you or not. Call it the friends and family discount. It's hard being a creature in STEM (slaying, treachery, evil, murder) and maintaining my 11/10 look all at the same time 🙄🙄🙄✨
insane anon confirmed to be physically violent as well as psychologically violent
#diya answers#DJKSHFJDSK WE LOVE TO SEE IT#anon#CREATURE IN STEM (SLAYING TREACHERY EVIL MURDER) I LOVE THAT
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yes! hahaha it's so funny because a few of the characters still very much resemble knb chars. and I just SEE knb. like one guy looks like kise with black hair and another looks like kiyoshi and OMG I JUST DID A GOOGLE SEARCH BC SMTH FELT OFF AND LMAO I'M SO DUMB. IT'S NOT BASEBALL IT'S GOLF HAHAHHA OMG IDEK WHY I REMEMBERED IT AS BASEBALL IT WAS SO LONG AGO I think it was bc I remember them swinging things and got mixed up 😂 and holy shit KISE LOOKALIKE WITH BLACK HAIR WAS NASH from last game wtf 😂 the guy from the golf manga looks like aomine! and teikou!akashi with glasses hahaha crap my memory is so bad 😂 but yeah dia no ace, I used to see it a lot on my dash along with other sports anime but never really gave it a try.. my most recent sports anime though is blue lock and I would def recommend it. this one's about soccer/football (w/e term you prefer haha
YES OHMYGOD HAHAHAHAHAHA ya I feel you! that used to be my source for new music bc there really wasn't anywhere else to find them! I remember keeping track of shows that featured my favourite artists bc these shows were on repeat and went on air at the same timings hahaha I swear the struggle to catch MTV [random show title] at 3pm! Matt was so fit! literally, like good job sir 👏 but the long hair, I get you hahahahahaha when I watched httk mv the first time, I was pretty shocked to see his hair and the only thing on my mind was 'what happened 🙃' and Brian had this.. idk what you call it... a mohawk? lol the goku hair was his best hairstyle imo (he's blond now maybe you've seen.. haha it's a look I have to get used to lmao) BUT YOU HAVE TO TELL ME ABOUT YOUR CONCERT EXPERIENCE! ughhhhh I've been dying to see them.. I'll be so sad if I never get a chance to do so 🤧
as for bands.. oh maannnn Idek where to begin, the list is extensive! I used to listen to a lot esp in my teens, but these days I only have a few constants that I follow. bmth is one that I've carried with me since back then. there's also fob. I would say paramore, but I'm not so keen on their new sound yet. others I got into a little later in life lol is the pretty reckless and in this moment.. I also had a vk phase so I TOTALLY KNOW DIR EN GREY!!! I think I gave them a listen once before but was too wrapped up in other vk bands hahaha (but it wouldn't hurt to give them another go!) I really like and still listen to the gazette. there's also oral cigarettes for non-vk bands ah, and buck-tick I had on loop for some time bc of shiki (great anime if you like horror btw!).. I'm also a fan of certain kbands like the rose and day6 (biiiiiiig fan of day6) if you're familiar with hallyu/kwave. I guess that concludes a summary of my current go-to bands. (oh, I'm giving a special mention to mcr since they were my gateway to rock music hahahaha omg my obsession with them was insane)
that's true. there'd been such useless updates in the past.. I guess some redeeming ones are how you can view people's tags on your post in the activity page and how it displays if you're following/mutuals w someone next to their handle. but yeah I haven't gone around much lately to know what other relevant updates there are hahaha
hahahaha I'm guilty.. I've gone down the reels hole quite a few times.. it's so detrimental though to my mental health lmao esp when I'd see all these.. relationship related reels lol I felt so much better after deactivating IG hahaha I don't have a tiktok acc but I do have the app, only to watch cooking stuff and other hacks in life 😂 OMG BUT you're blessed to have never witnessed the horror that was tumblr live. oh god. I didn't have access to it in my area but I saw enough thumbnails to know how cringe it was tg they removed it 🫠
thanks 🥲 it's a rollercoaster.. just when I think I'm feeling better, I get plunged into this pit of despair (kidding, I'm being dramatic) but you're right, one day at a time, slowly and trusting the process 😌
(sorry if I have typos btw. I have like 8 green lines on my screen 🙃)
HAHAHAHA GOLF i'm so interested now i wanna read it bc if he managed to make GOLF nearly as dramatic as basketball was, that would be such an accomplishment loooool! dw my memory prob sucks even more i swear i could rewatch/reread stuff every few months and forget pretty much everything that happened :') omg whats the name of the character that looks like akashi with glasses i need to see that NOW hahaha. okay i will start blue lock soon! i'm so behind on anime like i haven't watched new ones in years i missed out on so much ughhh now i gotta catch up. i need to watch jujutsu kaisen as well cos everyone's so obsessed with it (like half of my dash is only jjk lol). btw if u have any more recs pls lemme know im all ears!
hahaha yeah those were the days! I DIDN'T KNOW BRIAN WAS BLOND NOW it looks so strange im cryinggg hahahahaha
i saw them back in 2013 when httk came out omg i can't believe it's been 11 FREAKING YEARS wtf. i saw them in vienna with a tumblr friend haha it was really awesome! i have some pics on the sideblog here's the link. i remember lining up at 2 pm and the show started at 8 pm i think and i swear it was the coldest day of my life i was FREEZING like a mf but it was worth it cos i got to be in the 2nd row. but there was fire everywhere on stage and it was SO hot, like an insane temperature difference compared to outside, plus i was a dumb 15 yr old and barely ate anything all day and i FREAKING PASSED OUT during chapter four i think, and security pulled me out and gave me some water and then i went back (thankfully only missed 1 or 2 songs) hahahahaha. at least i learned my lesson for future concerts i guess :'D but the concert was really good i had no complaints abt the sound or anything, and the crowd was nice. and the supporting acts were avatar and five finger death punch, they were cool too. and i'm sure you'll get to see them!! where are u from btw? (pretty sure i saw that they're touring europe right now in case ur from here)
hey i've been listening to some bmth recently, but for some reason it's always songs where other artists are featured, specifically 'kingslayer' w/ babymetal and 'code mistake' w/ corpse. i also love 'vampir' with ic3peak (super into ic3peak). i should totally give their discography more of a listen, i only know some songs off of sempiternal (and i like them so idk why i never listened to more stuff lol). fob definitely has some bangers! and paramore was the first rock band i discovered along with linkin park! i saw the crushcrushcrush video on tv (wasn't mtv but this channel called viva, i don't even think it exists anymore), i was 9 and wanted to be hayley williams :'D she had the coolest hair in the world!
OMG SO HAPPY U KNOW DEG <3 they moved away from vkei so many years ago, their newer stuff is super experimental, like all the albums are so different from each other. my faves are uroboros (the remastered/expanded version), dum spiro spero and vulgar. def give them a go! and the gazette are also great, i was obsessed with the song '濁' from their latest album!
yep i love horror, def gonna add shiki to the to-watch list then! gotta check out those kbands as well. i'm familiar with some kpop, not too extensively (there are soo many groups haha) but i have a playlist that i made and listen to pretty often. i think my favorite kpop group rn is ateez. and yep mcr are legendary!! i remember seeing helena for the first time on yt and being blown away haha!
ooh true, those updates are some of the good ones! and i get you, 2 of my friends also left ig a long time ago for mental health reasons. it's probably better not to have it anyway. i don't really spend much time there tbh (youtube is my main time-waster) and pretty much everything the algorithm shows me nowadays is makeup tutorials and animals (and desserts whenever im trying to eat healthy lool). AND LMFAO TUMBLR LIVE I JUST HAD TO GOOGLE IT i never heard of it before but i can only imagine omfg.
i know what you mean. stay strong, it'll get much easier soon, trust me!
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