#|ObeyMeJokes|

[angelsdemonsandhumans]

Mc: Okay, whoever sits in this chair is gonna marry me!

All the brothers; ... *start fighting*

Mammon: THAT CHAIR IS MINE!!

Leviathan: NO WAY I'M GONNA LET YOU TOUCH IT!!

Asmodeus: *making his way to sit*

Lucifer: *grab the chair and makes him fall on the ground*

Mc: ...

Luke: haha look how hard are they fighting!

Mc: yeah- *the chair fall right back in front of them* ...oh-

The brothers doesn't get aware and keep fighting over the nothing:

Mc: ...

Diavolo: ..welp *jumps sit on the- fall down on the ground*

Barbatos: *silent gasp*

Simeon: *sit and cross his legs, with a tender smile* I apologize

Diavolo: ...

Barbatos: ...

The brothers: ...

Luke: ...

Mc: ...well I am not sad of the outcome!

#lucifer obey me #mammon #obey me #obey me funny #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me x mc #obey me x reader #obey me x you #solomon #obey me jokes #obey me simeon #simeon #diavolo #lord diavolo obey me #lord diavolo #obey me barbatos #barbatos #|ObeyMeJokes|

[harunayuuka2060]

*Based on my conversation with a friend that I had just now lol*

(MC and Mammon)

Mammon: MC! MC!!! 

MC: What is it? And... why are you crying...?

Mammon: Levi and the others called me an idiot again! *sobs*

MC: (kind of intrigued) May I know what happened?

Mammon: Levi asked if what do I call someone who has yellow hair and I said “blonde”...

MC: Okay... And?

Mammon: And then he asked what do I call someone who has brown hair and I answered “brownie”.

MC: Pffft... 

MC: You should have answered “brunette”. 

Mammon: How would I know? Are you going to call me an idiot too? *sobbing intensifies*

MC: Come here, Mammon... Geez, you’re really an idiot. But YOU ARE MY IDIOT.

Mammon: *sobs more but a little bit happier now*

#obey me #obey me mc #obeymejokes #mammoneyyy

[angelsdemonsandhumans]

Classmate in university: *after a whole speech* And this is why I don't believe in Heaven and Hell.

Mc: ...

D.D.D: *rings*

Mc:

D.D.D: *the call automatically starts* Oi, MC! You better get your ass over here right now! That so-called Avatar of Pride is bawling his eyes out 'cause he's missin' ya! I can't handle this anymore, dammit! Hurry up and fix this mess!

Mc: ... *slowly grabs phone* uhm.. Mammon. I am at school-

Mammon: Yeah I know but he's sobbin' like a crybaby!

*In background there could be heard Lucifer who screams his name. He's probably blaming Lucifer when he has been the one in that situation*

Mc: . . . *sigh* Alright, I'll be there in 5 minutes

Classmate: ...

Mc: ...ah, sorry. I must go.. duty calls me *runs out the classroom*

Classmate: ....did he talk about one of the seven deadly sins....-

#obey me #obey me x reader #lucifer obey me #mammon #obey me funny #obey me lucifer #obey me x mc #obey me mammon #obey me x you #solomon #obey me jokes #|ObeyMeJokes|

[angelsdemonsandhumans]

Mc: I'm pretty sure Simeon is innocent

Solomon: What makes you think that?

Mc: I tried and tried to flirt but he just doesn't understand

Mc: look

Mc: SIMEON!!

Simeon, from the other side of the hallway at school; huh? *approach them* yes, Mc? Hello Solomon

Solomon: Hi Simeon

Mc: I would love you to stay with me a little bit more Simeon

Simeon: sure, I can! But lessons are about to begin-

Mc: see? He doesn't understand!

Simeon: *blink*

Solomon: *smiles* or is it just you who can't flirt?

Mc: ... WHAT! I CAN FLIRT

Simeon: ....were you trying to flirt?

Mc: yeah! But you are too innocent for that!

Simeon: ...I am not that innocent, I just didn't think that was meant as a flirt!

Mc: ...is that an insult or a "I'm innocent but I don't want to admit"?

Solomon: Okay, okay. Simeon, if you aren't innocent, flirt with Mc *wink wink*

Simeon:

Mc:

Simeon: back in the human world, did you go to church frequently?

Mc: ...uhm..

Simeon: I wanted to test how experienced you are on your knees

Mc: . . .

Solomon: . . .

Simeon: *smiles* oh, class is about to begin! Come?

Mc: . . .yes

Solomon: we are coming

#obey me #obey me lucifer #lucifer obey me #obey me x reader #obey me x mc #mammon #solomon #obey me simeon #obey me funny #obey me jokes #|ObeyMeJokes|

[angelsdemonsandhumans]

X: If you had to describe the people in the two realms, how would you describe them?

Mc:..okay. Lucifer is the desperate father who tries to do something good and educate his children; he fails.

Mc: Mammon is the bullied-spoiled kid

Mc: Leviathan is... Ruri-chan, and awkward. I love him tho

Mc: Satan is me when I can't understand a math problem after repeating it for the fourth time

Mc: Asmo is a drama stripper-queen that might die if his nails aren't of his liking

Mc: Beel is hungry

Mc: Belphie is a psychopath

Mc: Diavolo is too young but responsible, and pretty childish sometimes

Mc: Barbatos scares me

Mc: Simeon is not as holy as everybody thinks

Mc: Luke is a puppy, still traumatized he's not an actual kid tho

Mc: And Solomon is a huge bastard

Solomon, joining them: I take that as a full-heart compliment

#lucifer obey me #mammon #obey me #obey me funny #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me x mc #obey me x reader #obey me x you #solomon #obey me solomon #obey me levi #obey me satan #obey me simeon #|ObeyMeJokes|

[angelsdemonsandhumans]

Diavolo peacefully drinking tea with Barbatos:

Mc: *slams door open and run to them as if they are in the HoL*

Diavolo: Mc? What's the rush?

Barbatos: ...

Mc: I excuse myself for being so mannerless but I really need an answer. *walks in front of Barbatos*

Barbatos: ...yes?

Mc: Is it true that Solomon, many many many many years ago, went into your room in the middle of the night with a rat, just to put it in your pillow and wait for you to wake up?

Barbatos: . . .

Mc: and is that the reason why you hate him?

Barbatos:

Diavolo: ... *side eye*

Barbatos: . . . *clean throat* I believe It's time for you to go

Mc: But-

Barbatos: Have a good day.

#obey me #obey me x reader #lucifer obey me #mammon #obey me funny #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me x mc #obey me x you #solomon #obey me barbatos #barbatos #|ObeyMeJokes|

[angelsdemonsandhumans]

Friend: Come live with me, not those demons you stay with! Come on, I am always alone

Mc: other than the fact that you sound like a concentrated mix of Luke and Solomon.. I can't

Friend: why?

Mc: Because I am literally their mother

Friend:

Friend: what?

Mc: let me visualize it for you

Mc: Mammon

Mammon: huh? Yeah?

Mc: Your debts

Mammon: *shruggs* I will pay them later, now lemme go see Levi-

Mc: Mammon?.

Mammon: . . .I-I will contact the witch in a second...

Leviathan: I CAN'T BELIEVE I LOST AGAIN *slams hands on the computer*

Mc: *run into the room and grab his fists* LEVI-

Leviathan: ... *let out a frustrated scream*

Mc: *pat pat head* come on, I can play with you if it makes you feel better.. just don't break the monitor

Satan: *about to snap*

Mc: *walks in the room*

Satan: *kalm*

Asmodeus: Okay! Who wants to try the new make up set created by myself?!

*silence*

Asmodeus: ...

Mc: Me, Asmo. I would be honoured

Asmodeus: *sparkling eyes* oh Mc, you are the best!~♡

Beelzebub: I'm hungry...

Mc: What would you like to eat?

Beelzebub: Everything is fine, just food

Mc: *nods and start to cook something for him*

Beelzebub: *smiles* thank you Mc

Belphegor: *yawns* mmh.. huh..

Belphegor: *notices you are missing and gets up to find you; you just went to the bathroom*

Belphegor: Mc...

Mc: uh? Oh, did you wake up? Come on, I'm done. Let's go back.

Belphegor: *hums and hugs your side, it's more like you dragging him back up in the attic other than walking together to reach the room*

Lucifer: You sure do take care of them, don't you?

Mc: Of course, as long as they are happy

Mc: *looks at Lucifer and goes to stroke his hair* but sometimes, you also need a break, Lucifer

Lucifer: *sighs* I know

Mc: And this is why I have to stay

Friend: . . .

#obey me #obey me x reader #lucifer obey me #mammon #obey me funny #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me x mc #obey me x you #solomon #|ObeyMeJokes|

[angelsdemonsandhumans]

Solomon: We are all wrapped around your fingers, Mc

Mc: No you are not, don't say bullpoop

Mc:

Mc: *sneezes*

The brothers: BLESS YOU!

Mc: . . .

Solomon: Bless you lovely apprentice♡, and are you sure? *chuckle*

#obey me #obey me x reader #lucifer obey me #mammon #obey me funny #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me x mc #solomon #obey me x you #demon brothers #obey me demon brothers #|ObeyMeJokes|

[angelsdemonsandhumans]

The front door of the HoL is covered in a strange, annoying and slick cream, and it smells of a irritating, strong undescribable scent. The windows are covered too, literally every way out is.

Mc: Okay, whoever did this, I will find you and kill you.

The demon brothers:

Diavolo:

Barbatos:

The angels:

Thirteen:

Solomon:

Mc: ...

Mc: Let me rephrase. Who did this is an absolute genius.

Everybody keep silent:

Mc: ...It's either Mammon or Solomon

Mammon: WHY YOU HAVE TO BLAME ME?

Solomon: ... *Chuckle* I can see why you would blame me. However, you are wrong. I can't deny It's a genius move anyways

Mc: Yeah, but now I can't actually leave the house.

Mc:

Mc: Maybe Thirteen

Thirteen: ...I can't deny I could be capable of it, but this time it's not me!

Lucifer:

Diavolo:

Diavolo: ....let's say we didn't want you to leave-

Mc: Lord Diavolo.

#lucifer obey me #mammon #obey me #obey me funny #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me x mc #obey me x reader #obey me x you #solomon #obey me jokes #|ObeyMeJokes|

[angelsdemonsandhumans]

Leviathan: Hi, I would like to order a pizza

Leviathan: Hi, I would like to order a pizza

Leviathan: Come on, I can do it!

Leviathan: *puts phone in his ear* H-hi, I-I'd like to p-pizza an o-order...

Mammon: . . . *facepalm* he can't make it

Satan: you know he can't, why didn't you call instead?

Mammon: Because It's funny

#obey me #obey me x reader #lucifer obey me #obey me lucifer #obey me funny #mammon #obey me mammon #obey me x mc #solomon #obey me x you #om mammon #mammon avatar of greed #om leviathan #obey me levi #levi obey me #leviathan obey me #obey me leviathan #leviathan avatar of envy #satan avatar of wrath #|ObeyMeJokes|

[angelsdemonsandhumans]

WARNING Possible spoiler Lesson 60!

*You got away with Simeon while the brothers and Diavolo talked*

The demon brothers: We will wait all the time for Mc!

Solomon: I don't need to wait that much...

Everyone: *silently glare at him*

*After coming back...*

Mc: .....why is Solomon crying?

Lucifer: My brothers were jealous that they have to wait to marry you, while he doesn't really have to

Mc: and?

Lucifer: And they decided to make him aware to give up on cooking because his food suck and no one would eat it

Mc: oh... He really did believe he was good

#lucifer obey me #mammon #obey me #obey me funny #obey me mammon #obey me lucifer #obey me x mc #obey me x reader #solomon #obey me x you #obey me jokes #|ObeyMeJokes|

[angelsdemonsandhumans]

Man on phone call: I kidnapped one of your brothers.

Lucifer: which one?

Man on the phone: the loud one

Lucifer: they are all l-

Leviathan, freaking out: M!MC IS NOT HOME I REPEAT M!MC IS NOT HOME!

Mammon: WHAT?!

Lucifer: ...

Man: ...

Man: I kidnapped Mc

Lucifer: I'm coming.

#obey me #obey me x reader #lucifer obey me #mammon #obey me funny #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me x mc #obey me x you #solomon #obey me jokes #om lucifer #om leviathan #om mammon #om mammon x reader #|ObeyMeJokes|

[angelsdemonsandhumans]

Mc: Did someone ever told you that you cook perfectly?

Solomon: no?

Mc: then why you keep doing it?

Solomon: *shocked gasp*

#obey me #obey me x reader #mammon #lucifer obey me #obey me lucifer #obey me funny #obey me x mc #obey me mammon #solomon #obey me x you #|ObeyMeJokes|

[angelsdemonsandhumans]

Simeon: Never say bad words; It's disrespectful and unkind

Mc: So what do I say when I bang my little finger on the corner of the bed?

Simeon: ...you pray

Luke: I don't think what I heard yesterday were prayers, Simeon

Simeon: Luke, I kindly asked you to never talk about that again

#lucifer obey me #mammon #obey me #obey me funny #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me x mc #obey me x reader #obey me x you #solomon #obey me jokes #simeon #simeon obey me #luke #luke obey me #|ObeyMeJokes|

[angelsdemonsandhumans]

Nb players will understand

Solomon: I am a great sorcerer. A serious one at that. I am one of the most powerful in the human realm and--

Mc: Oh please, you whined like a baby because I didn't promise to forget that night

Solomon:

Solomon: Mc

Mc: Solomon

#obey me x reader #obey me #mammon #lucifer obey me #obey me lucifer #obey me funny #obey me x mc #obey me mammon #solomon #obey me x you #|ObeyMeJokes| #obey me nightbringer #om! nightbringer

[angelsdemonsandhumans]

Mammon picking on Luke, calling him chihuahua and fido:

Always Mammon when someone else tries to pick on Luke: *turns abruptly* WHERE?!.

#obey me #obey me x reader #lucifer obey me #mammon #obey me funny #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me x mc #obey me x you #solomon #mammon obey me #luke obey me #luke #obey me jokes #|ObeyMeJokes|