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borealnyx · 2 years

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MASH season 5 thoughts

first of all, Margaret my most beloved. im so happy about her development this season. she breaks it off with frank, she gets a new boyfriend who she marries, she learns to unwind and enjoy herself, and most importantly, she makes FEMALE FRIENDS!!! and she gets to keep having friends for her bachellorette party!!! even if shes still a bitch almost all the time and quite capable of breaking someones jaw. i was afraid that she would have to sacrifice one or the other; you cant keep soft things if you want to be respected as a woman after all. i know theres still a way to go, and tbh the way she turns into a schoolgirl around her fiance + her obssession with his rank+ him moving away from the or in the last episode tell me that theres still some things to come in that front. im also very happy with the few bits where she hungs out with bj and hawk. in my head shes the mccoy to the weird kirk/spock dynamic the other two have going on and i want more of it. but overall my opinion is just that margaret is That Bitch and i love her so much💖💖💕💕🥺

secondly, BJ, the tall enigma. in the previous season i said that i had no idea what his deal was, but i think that at this point i can make some educated guesses. i think that he loves children and misses his daughter terribly and that he has to be in control of the situation and of himself at all times. and if that control slips that causes a crisis. all the practical jokes are his way of controlling the enviroment and being on top of it. and as we can see with the secret fight with hawkeye and the kiss with the nurse, even minor changes to his social standing or his self image leave him rattled and angry.

which brings me into the relationship between BJ and Hawkeye. i was afraid that it was one of these things people ship because they are the two main guys and nothing else. but they genuenly seem to be soulmates of the annoyingly telepathic variety. even if it is something platonic they follow the others line of thought flawlessly and work together to become the biggest double pain in the ass possible (also at one point BJ says”i love you daddy“ to Hawkeye. i know this is not intended to be read that way, but GOD 😳😳)

i also said about a previous season that they got that ptsd was bad but they didnt have the language to express why or to what degree. i dont know if its an improvement in the writing, the advance on the vietnam war or waht, but they have the language for it now. this is excellent news for me, who loves watching tv characters suffer, and terrible news for my newest poor little mew-mew and beloved blorbo hawkeye pierce.

lastly i want to talk about frank burns. i will admit that i accidentaly spoiled myself cause i look at the episode list in wikipedia to keep it all in order in my head and it said that the last episode was his final appearance. i cant say that i will miss him or that the show would have a big hole to fill (i thought that when henry and trapper left, but it worked seamlessly and the show is even better now). i think that specially in the last season, but also over the whole series, frank is a cartoon character that you just love to see fail again and again. like a sylvester the cat if he was horny instead of hungry.(i will say that the man has a great :D face tho, it brings me joy). he has gone from kinda dangerous to minor inconvenience, and without margaret it’s clear that theres nothing going on for him. so him leaving makes sense, it feels organic. i think this is where the tall bald guy i have seen in some gifsets comes in. i hope he adds something new and fun

Im close to the halfway point by now and each season has been an improvement from the last. Cant wait to see where we go from here

#mash #mash lb #m*a*s*h #ana writes her own posts for once

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baegarrick · 4 years

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idk if you've read/seen the book/movie but just... love, simon zukka au ?? sokka as simon and zuko as bram because blue spirit ( though if we r going for it personality-wise maybe switch their roles? idk ! ) — also in this one the friends are exponentially better

ok im so sorry I haven’t actually seen love, simon or read the book but.... I HAVE ACCESS TO WIKIPEDIA SO LETS GO

ok so I was considering Zuko as Simon bc of the musical thing/the loving parent (Iroh), the girl he sees Sokka (Bram) kiss is Suki.... but also bc I just love writing Zuko (maybe I’ll parse that out at the end)

BUT lets go with Sokka as Simon bc I also love writing the Gaang

Sokka is Simon

Katara is both Nora and Abby

Jet is Martin

Aang is Nick (but slightly also Abby)

Zuko is blue/Bram

Suki is Leah (but slightly also Nick)

Toph is Ethan (sorta)

Haru is Lyle

Ok so, obv this follows the plot of the movie/book. Sokka is a gay + closeted junior, not that his dad isn’t loving, but he’s in the military, and occasionally makes homophobic jokes, and Sokka feels like he has to be tough for him, esp. since his mom died. But he really likes making people laugh and so he joins the school musical, which is a comedy this year.

His best friend is Suki, who he’s known since he was a kid, but he’s kinda been withdrawing from her since he got to high school. He loves her, he really does, but everyone always thinks they’re dating, and it kinda makes him uncomfortable. He tried to like her, when they were younger, but he just... isn’t into girls. His friend group is Suki, Katara (his sister, and it was the two of them against the world since their mom died, but he’s pulled away from her too), Aang (a transfer freshman from out of state), and Toph (who spent up till 8th grade at a private school).

Also in the musical is Zuko, a hot senior who’s like.... super lofty. He gets really into theater, but he rarely interacts with people outside his friend group, like he’s better than them or something. (Mai and Ty Lee are also there, they’re Zuko’s friends.) Not in the musical, but in one of the other clubs Sokka is in, is Jet. He got kicked off the football team for being too rough with the other team last year, so he mostly just hangs out behind the bleachers smoking.

Sokka’s on the school’s tumblr one day (shut up, Katara, I don’t have a tumblr!!) when he sees someone posted an anonymous confession saying they’re gay but they really don’t have anyone they can talk to because of their family situation. Sokka gets their email (BlueSpirit) and start emailing (BoomerangDude) them for a couple of months. He learns that Blue’s family has really high expectations of him, and since he’s only a year away from college he can’t mess them up because if he does he’ll be cut off, and he can’t afford college if that happens. He’s got a sadistic little sister (who isn’t actually terrible, she’s just got her own shit going on, and if shoving Zuko in the warpath of their father takes the spotlight off of her, all the better) who would absolutely out him if she knew, a girl he’s pretty sure wants to date him (Mai), and an after-school job (the tea shop) thats cutting into his extra-curricular activities.

This is.... really similar to Sokka, actually, and he likes making Blue laugh (they switch to chatting online sometimes, like discord or some chat app), and Blue has a lot of insights on things Sokka likes (some of the same music,

Meanwhile, Sokka ends up going to this tea shop he heard about from Blue (it had been a slip, Zuko had NOT meant to say too many personal details, but he’d mentioned getting some kind of boba drink) and studying there with his friends. While he’s there, he’s surprised to see Zuko, who he’s never spoken to outside of the musical they’re working on!! (At some point, Zuko checks his phone and laughs, and Sokka’s like, oh no, I’m crushing on.... TWO DUDES???? BAD SOKKA). He starts to wonder if maybe.... Zuko is Blue?? it generally sorta fits, he knows Zuko is also a senior, and the tea shop Blue mentioned.... (to be fair, though, they see like three other kids from school there, so it’s not really a niche place)

Before Sokka can test out this theory, though, there’s a Halloween party which Sokka goes to with his friends. (They go as the Power Rangers.) He sees Zuko there (he’s in some some Kabuki costume), but with him is.... Mai from the play. They’re making out, and Sokka feels his stomach drop-- he’s not gay and Sokka’s crushing on a straight guy. He gets drunk. He throws up in the bushes outside, and Katara finds him, chews him out, and then sneaks him back home.

He emails Blue again, drunk, and says some stupid stuff like he wishes things were easier, and that he thought he knew who Blue was, but he didn’t. (Blue doesn’t reply.)

He’s checking his email on a school computer in the library when the bell rings, and he doesn’t log out properly, and Jet, who is skipping class, finds Sokka’s emails. He confronts Sokka about them, and says he won’t reveal Sokka’s secret... if Sokka helps Jet get with Sokka’s hot sister. Sokka hates the idea, but also, the idea of being outed is really terrifying. So he says yes, and tries to talk up Jet to Katara, who’s a little surprised bc while she thinks Jet is hot, Sokka was super against Jet whenever she mentioned it. Katara is involved in school politics, and convinces Jet to pretend to be interested to spend time with her. (he ends up running against her...)

Around Thanksgiving, with all their extended family there, ribbing him about getting a girlfriend (asking about Suki), Sokka leaves and goes to sit on the roof. Katara finds him there, and demands he spill whats up and why he’s acting so weird, especially about Suki. (she looks freaked out for a moment, and is like.... oh my god, sokka, is suki pregnant?????? sokka blanches at that) He admits he’s gay, and she hugs him, and they stay out there until their dad sticks his head out the window and calls them inside.

Feeling guilty about Jet, Sokka admits to Blue their emails might have been compromised. Blue starts to back away, taking longer and longer to answer emails.

At a football game, Sokka runs into Haru, who starts asking him stuff, and Sokka wonders if he’s Blue, but it turns out Haru is interested in Katara. Upset, again, that he doesn’t know who Blue is, he encourages Jet to “go big or go home”-- and so Jet asks Katara out by bribing the kid who does the scoreboard to switch out his campaign ad for asking Katara out. Katara is shocked, as she thought Jet was really interested in her campaign. She slaps him.

Mad that Katara wasn’t interested after all, and from the slap, Jet outs Sokka anyway, posting the emails on the school’s gossip site. Katara, who was mad at Sokka, instantly forgives him and is on a WARPATH against Jet, but Sokka just wants it left alone. Suki shows up a few hours later, and finds him on the roof. She admits that she had a crush on him, which was why she never said anything when people asked if they were a couple, but she knew Sokka wasn’t interested in her, so she never pushed it. She’s sorry she made it difficult for him to come out to her.

Blue is upset their emails have leaked, and deletes his account.

He comes out to his dad later, in the car, on the way to school on the last couple of days before winter break. His dad takes it well, and apologizes for all of the jokes he used to make-- it doesn’t make it right, but it was the kind of things he and the other soldiers used to say to each other. He ends up taking them to this tea shop he heard about (it’s Zuko’s/Iroh’s shop), and while there, he comes out to the owner of the shop, Iroh, as sort of..... practice. It’s liberating and also terrifying. Iroh is super cool about it, and tells them about his own son, who passed away a few years ago in an accident, was gay. It’s way later than Sokka thought, and when he looks up from the conversation with Iroh, Zuko’s standing in the doorway. not wanting to deal with people from school, Sokka leaves the tea shop without waiting for his dad to follow him.

The next couple of days at school are rough. His friends stick by his side, but Jet’s friends are obnoxious and loud, and Katara punches one of them. She goes to the school, but they’re eternally unhelpful bc.... what can tey do... its not a school website..... Later, Toph tells Sokka she’s a lesbian, and it’s not that she’s hiding it, but... it’s already tough enough when people treat her like she’s glass because she’s blind. They all go home for winter break, and when they come back, Sokka is refreshed and determined not to be put down by a couple of assholes.

He’s wildly surprised when Blue posts on the school’s tumblr that he wants to meet Sokka at the school’s carnival. This draws a crowd, which makes Sokka worried he’s gonna be pranked, but when he sits down on the Ferris wheel, he’s surprised that Zuko from the tea shop/musical sits down next to him.

Zuko says he’s sorry for ignoring Sokka’s emails, and he’s sorry that Sokka got outed to the school, and it wasn’t his fault that Sokka was blackmailed, and he should have reacted better to it. Sokka apologizes too, because Zuko shouldn’t have to be outed either, which... is why they’re here? Zuko blushes, and says he came out to his uncle, who’s letting him stay with him, since he’s tired of going home to his shitty dad, and that he might go live with his mom while he’s in college. He admits the Mai thing at the party was a drunken misunderstanding, and that he likes Sokka. He thinks he’s funny, and they like the same things (theater, music, strange taste in food...), and he’s hoping after this... Sokka might like him too? (they kiss on the Ferris wheel, and Katara takes like, 30 pictures.)

....

alternatively////

Zuko as Simon au-- bc I just wanted to write it out. he lives with his uncle, who’s the loving parent here, not Ozai!! (or his Mom/stepdad but I kinda forgot they existed for like 5 minutes)

Zuko is Simon

Katara is Abby (she’s his lab partner, and they have the same temperment)

Azula is Nora, but she doesn’t really play a big role (she’s an asshole, but also she’s 14 and is Going Through Things. she’s also in the closet and in love with Mai, but she doesn’t know it yet. it takes her a couple of years to figure that out.)

Mai is Leah

Aang is Martin (but less of an asshole. just the embarrassing + frustrated bits.)

Sokka is blue/Bram

Suki is the girl at the party Sokka kisses

Ty Lee is Ethan

---

I HOPE THIS WAS OK, like I said I haven’t actually seen the thing, but now I actually know what the plot is about!! <3333

#zukka #zukka au #love simon au

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roguestarsailor · 4 years

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thoughts on a court of mist and fury *spoilers*

***** lots of spoilers folks *****

- MY GIRL FEYRE IS READING!! SHES READING LIKE REGULARLY AND CASUALLY IM SO PROUD

- RHYSAND MY LOVE I TAKE BACK ALL THE BAD THINGS I SAID IN BOOK ONE AND YOU ARE A BABY THAT NEEDS TO BE LOVED AND PROTECTED AND DESERVE PEACE AND QUIET AND MORE LOVE

- tamlin needs therapy like pronto; we dont stan a unsupportive partner and partner who is unwilling to share pain!! CANCEL TAMLIN 2020

- rhys popping up during the wedding scene was *chef’s kiss* and i noticed that he didn’t “claim” her as he said he would for like three months after everything. i suspect he was being a good person and literally letting her live her life. also for loving someone, tamlin was super chill and just kind of let her go??? idk i thought there would be more of a fight??? when feyre was literally like why are your claws retracting man?? fight for me??? hello??? but then again rhys is definitely more powerful than tamlin and probs some unspoken laws and such between high lords i guess ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ anyways tamlin aint shit

- page 296-298! fucken shook me to my core. that self awareness, that confrontation, she identified the core of everything and it was such a turning point and im just so proud of her!!! She's recognizing her traumas and is healing!!!!!!!!!!

- yeah i immediately ship cassian and nesta; i hope she fucks shit up in the next book 😀 😀 😀 😀

- maybe az and mor are truly the slowest of slow burns ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

- i pictured pollution from good omens as how Amren is suppose to look like

- rhys is such a strong leader and im just -- baby deserves all the love. He's really good at plotting. He really made feyre learn all these things so they can nurture their love but also be a strategic advantage its interesting that even tho theres love there he still treats her like a weapon

- the joy in his rhys eyes when they winnowed into his regular ass town house that feels super lived in. and his friends banging on the door like he isn’t the feared night court high lord that he is. that was so refreshing to see that hes a regular person and not that high lord man who lives in a near empty mansion. he puts on a mask for everyone but he himself is just a regular fae.

- reading about the peace that velaris was able to live through was beautiful. i imagined a city like san francisco with the hills and views of the ocean but kind of like the peace found in super small towns or cities in asia; maybe even some european cities (which is prob where this location is inspired by but i haven’t visited many euro cities). the scenes of ppl dining out, making art and music and just chilling is so lovely esp given our current pandemic. art is so treasured there and im like thats the epitome of a great society isn’t it? being able to do things because you just can without the pain of financial insecurity, civil unrest, etc. i definitely would love and die and for a society like that. its just so wonderful. i was filled w happiness while reading those scenes. :)

- rhys and his inner circle taking feyre out into the town and just being casual. nobody treats them like theyre royalty or anything special. theyre just a regular group of friends who enjoy hanging out. its super nice and nostalgia inducing esp during this pandemic when friends are so far away and not like it used to be.

- when rhys immediately saw how under weight and dead freye looked when she was in spring court -- AND IT WAS THE FIRST THING HE SAID TO HER WHEN HE SAW HER THROUGH THE DOOR WHILE TAMLIN DIDNT FUCKEN NOTICE

- i also take back my frustrations in book 1 when freye always wondering around the grounds in spring court esp during calanmai. i thought it was because the author needed to move the story forward but its just freye. she doesnt sit still and now that shes w rhys, we are seeing soooooo many things about prythian and thats beautiful. tamlin was truly a hinderance huh

- rhys sent her music when she was in the cell in Under The Mountain which was found in velaris. maybe he wasnt risking a lot but he just showed her a glimpse of the forbidden world right under aramantha’s nose holy shit he saved her from destruction!

- when rhys had his nightmare and feyre came to comfort him and kissed him on the cheeks and gave him such tenderness made my heart sing~

- rhys is literally opposite of tamlin is soooo many ways. RHYS DID THINGS OUT OF LOVE, WHILE TAMLIN DID THINGS FOR LOVE. everything from how rhys made sure feyre can grow into who she is meant to be, to how he introduces her to his friends and how he interacts w everyone in his court, how he handles pain, everything is so different than tamlin. tamlin feels pain and just bulldoze over things, doesn’t think about how his actions are hurting others even as he is hurting. he doesn’t talk, he doesn’t share, he doesn’t try to get himself or feyre out of this misery and just sees threats everywhere and hits them. he was also supper passive honestly. no doubt hes riddled w guilt and grief but can’t figure out how to handle it so he uses feyre as his crutch where if he can “save” her he will be free smh

- rhys PAYS feyre!! HE GAVE HER FINANCIAL INDEPENDENCE AND RESPECT FOR HER WORK!! THE INDEPENDENCE THAT TAMLIN DIDNT FUCKEN GIVE.

- THOSE NOTES THEY SEND TO EACH OTHER SINCE FREYE CAN READ AND WRITE NOW

- Ianthe was sus from the beginning!! i knew it!! although i did bet she was gonna sleep w tamlin on the side. But she's a lot worst so we don't like her either

- the throne room scene was steamy af this time its fine because there was ~consent~ and also because we see the dynamic and growth between the two and how they work together. this was great although I was kind of like pls get a room tho

- RHYS SMILING!!! FEYRE AND RHYS LAUGHING TOGETHER UGH I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

- THEY ARE MATES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FEYRE AND RHYS FOUND EACH OTHER AND HAD SO MANY SHARED TRAUMAS AND WORKED IT OUT TOGETHER AND GREW TOGETHER AND LEARNED ABOUT EACH OTHERS QUIRKS AND ITS JUST LOVE IN ITS PUREST FORM UGH THAT SCENE WHERE RHYS WAS CRYING AND FEYRE HEATED UP FOOD FOR THE BABY AHH MY HEARTTTTT MY WHOLE ENTIRE HEARTTTTTT IS BURSTING WITH LOVEEEEEE

- LUCIEN AND ELAINE HOLY FUCK WHAT A LEFT FIELDER i hope this is the push that will propel lucien to defy tamlin. going back to the contrast between how tamlin vs his court and rhys vs his court, rhys has a group of unwavering loyal friends and are treated equally esp letting them joke around so much and it feels like a casual group of friends hanging out. tamlin has just as much loyalty from lucien but theres still a power structure that tamlin maintains. luciens words doesn’t have much weight whereas rhys’s friends do. both tamlin and rhys have so much power and sway and similarity in traumas and tragedy but both execute things completely differently. tamlin only wants to upload what he is familiar with, maybe what he thinks his father wants whereas rhys actively tries to think of something better, to change the system regardless of how hard it is.

- tamlin you dumbass. He didn't learn from amarantha. He again let his pride fuck over a bunch of other ppl. He shat on amarantha and fucked over his court. Now he fucked the rest of prythian and human world by bargaining w the king. Smh goodbye tamlin

- I straight up knew the queens were bad!!! I knew they had to be plotting something. The sixth is "ill" my ass.

- LADY OF THE NIGHT COURT LETS GO FEYRE AND WOOWW WE STAN A MAN BREAKING TRADITIONS AND SUPPORTING EQUALITY

- when hybern was destroying velaris. I WAS GONNA THROW HANDS BRO. I'm glad we saw the extend of how powerful feyre could be and how she was clever and we can really see how she's completely different from before. She has bite and fight in her and it's so refreshing!

- how about we let az and cassian live in peace. Those boys had to deal w the blunt of literally everything. from being the only shield in valeris to poison/hurt wings against the king, just beat up all the time 🥺

- suriel is their version of a wikipedia

I read all 600 damn pages in like 2.5 days and I was loving it the entire time! My heart sored when feyre and Rhys were getting close and starting to break down their walls and really connect. This was a truly good enemies to lovers, slow burn tale and the drama is so great. There were good stakes that changes a character and their behavior and a good balance of action and excitement but at the same time so many little moments that let u see the character and how they interact w each other and the world. a lot of big plot moments, slice of life moments, a bit of romance and comedy. overall, an amazing book but super long. thus far this is my favorite book and im hoping the rest of the books can be just as charming and lovely but not too heart breaking. i hope rhys and feyre makes it. i cannot predict what to expect in the other books in the series (isn’t there gonna be 8 books total???)

#amandathoughts #bookthoughts #acotar #acomaf #a court of mist and fury #a court of thorns and roses #book 2 #sarah j maas #acomaf thoughts #i said a lot because this book had so much content #acotr #amandabookthoughts #feyre #rhysand #feyre archeron #feyre x rhysand

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wokeuplaughing · 4 years

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bored heres some very fun facts about the directing and writing of the last 2 seasons of always sunny collected from wikipedia and IMDB alone

-the first episode of season 13 had .606 million us viewers while the second episode was nearly half of that at .390

-the screenplay writers for beverly hills chihuahua 2 were the writers for 4 episodes

-one of the directors for one of the episodes has directorial credits for a halloween episode of the disney tv show shake it up pretty little liars and high school musical the musical the series (the episodes they directed for both sunny and high school show were released within a month and a few days of each other)

-season 13 had 7 writers and 4 different directors. in each episode they wrote/directed they were paired with a different writer/director

-no writer did more than 2 episodes in this season

-6/10 of the writers are the sole writer credited for their respective episode

-season 14 had 6 writers and 5 different directors. in each episode they wrote/directed they had a different writer/director to be paired with

-the only writers to write more than 2 episodes were rob and charlie with a total of 3 episodes written in the season

-someones probably wondering why im mentioning the amount of writers and directors so im gonna compare these two seasons to the seasons with some of the most viewership

-season 6 had 3 different directors and season 7 had 2 where the second director co directed an episode (the director of all of the episodes directed episodes of both game of thrones and fargo. please compare that to the 2nd and 3rd fact.) there are 10 and 11 writers for these seasons but nearly every episode is co written and the writers who are solely credited are credited for co writing other episodes

-what im trying to say is that the last two seasons are held together with bubble gum and self indulgence

-also worth mentioning that a couple of the writers from the recent seasons have wrote stuff for the other shows the creators have made with little experience outside of that

-this isnt a fact at all but im mad about how shit the recent seasons are so heres some analysis: the episodes where mac is openly predatorial towards dennis (where it is explicit that he is uncomfortable) were all written by the same person. sexual assault is a major topic or plot point (as in it was a. uh. joke,) of 2 out of the 4 episodes theyve written in the past two seasons its also worth noting that in both of the episodes dennis snakes around being the predator or is the one being assaulted (ive been avoiding mentioning episodes directly because it would get annoying quick but in dee day dee forced him and charlie to kiss which was followed up with mac being predatorial again. im not turning this into a structured criticism because i dont want that attention but immmm just sayyyingggg that the canonical predator is the victim while the canonical gay person is the predator. interesting isnt it?)

#hello i hate this show #also most of the writers did contribute to writing other episodes but The Continuity Errors Whats Going On There #sorry for numbers also #this surprisingly didnt take long to write what the fuck

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tiffany-loves-broadway · 4 years

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Characters from Worm and Ward as @dril_gpt2 tweets

Wildbow: i wrote the post. sorry everyone.

Emma: You fucking worm. Youre a foul, stinking rat. Fanart is pure garbage.

Skitter, pre-Leviathan: my followers are wasting my time by asking me stupid shit like "where is my worm hole" and "where is my piss hole"

Tattletale: 13 Reasons Why Sasquatch Is Real

Bitch: you know society is ASS-FUCKED when people spend tens of millions of dollars to maim and disfigure their dogs in an effort to appear more "INTP"

Panacea: im going to dress up like a nurse and perform emergency C-sections on the street to build self respect

Coil, on Dinah: Everything you say is true and good. no exceptions

Miss Militia: the idea that i would ever lose my shit on the computer board game "minesweeper" is one of the most despicable maladies ive ever suffered

Skitter, post-Leviathan: to the guy who paid me to distribute free toilet paper to the homeless in my hometown: thanks for 00000000000 \000 \000 .

Jack Slash: the human mind... is a funny little thing... called A Mind

Crawler: my ass has become highly immunized against fungal infections, by ingesting fantastic amounts of kfc

Cherish: sending my most powerful kiss to any image of blue jeans because i just want to die by suicide because my brain and body are FUCKED

Dragon: ...the US Navy's newest computer chip can now program itself to 'Play Pokemon' and evolve into a Pokemon with it ....

Simurgh: saddened to see that people woud gravitate towards gaming as a career path, rather than exclusively gravitate towards gaming during a time of crisis

Perdition: *does the dishes in reverse for shock value*

Watchdog: INTRODUCTION TO THE GUILD OF THINKERS 1. who are these people whose opinions are worth less than mine to keep me away from the toilet 2. how do i add 3D effects to my hair 3. WHO CARES I DIDNT ADD 3D SHADES TO MY JUGGLY

Greg: well gotta go with the old adage "Dont forget to feed the trolls"

Valefor: causing your dick to hurt because you have too much respect for the Virgin Mary to engrave "666" onto the back of your dick

Weaver: I will do the right thing, and delete all my posts about eating maggots

Behemoth: *glances towards the camera slowly becoming more and more skeletal*

Tecton: Geology is Theory. Geology is not Fact.

Heartbreaker: me fucking ruining another wedding by asking the bride to marry me for $6. its just too hard

Glenn Chambers: the most important part of being a content producer is being able to mentally picture the Brands' Emblems on your fridge and never missing a Brand Point Update

Glenn Chambers, on Skitter: "i firmly believe that bugs should be banned," i continue, letting the video conclude. "But…" i pause to collect myself, "but…" i increase the volume

Riley: im sorry but how can i reconcile my increasingly loathsome behaviors with the cheerful, bubbly manner in which i am marketed

Clockblocker: according to wikipedia, the bed bugs and human fly larvae that burrow into my skin and organs are my soul mate

Andrew Richter: i am truly devastated to announce that the y2k bug is now officially classified as a feature

Scion: 1) Kill all the people 2)

The Elite: to the distrusted: To the disappointed: Towards the hungry: I will not trade places with you. Good bye.

Eden: As an evolved being I want to fuck Humankind

Khepri: my followers are nothing but worms, trying to devour me alive , my only value is that i make people mad

Pandora: i've been itching to get online for a while now, and i finally did it. this is the ultimate sacrifice

Bitch, with Biter: i have the brain of a small dog and the asshole of a college educated adult

Valkyrie, on Clockblocker, Kid Win, and Grue: The "Boys" are back! They're back from the dead

Victoria Dallon, looking for work: After finding out that my followers believed that doctors should be allowed to force me to eat grass, i vowed never to read any posts from you all again

Seir: the "minor girls" jokes is one of the few parts of the Alabama Republican Platform That I actually respect, and wouldn't change a word

Mama Mathers: god grant me th e ability to send very strong, very small particles of information through the air into the eyeballs of <- targeted <-

Tattletale, on clusters: blood transfusions vs gunshot wounds - the jury is still out on which one is "good"

Sidepiece: here comes that ass hole. here comes that spleen. here comes that gut. *spits out another mouthful of food turds* wow. im pretty good at kicking ass

Nursery: How To Make Hugs Out Of Anything - Essential book for new Mommers

Foil: You've heard of Small Arms Firepower, but did you Know Small Arms Penetration Power?

Love Lost: Fear not, a tiny speaker attached to my gas mask will allow me to better understand the emotions of my followers

Ratcatcher: Rats Are Life Forms Too Sub-Genius

Custodian: i demand now that complete and utter silence be accorded to the hideous sonic boogie man who has inhabited my thoughts for 17 years.

Teacher: micropenis Wearing A Turtleneck Sweater

Valkyrie, on Furcate: i am fucking thrilled that my daughter is becoming ultra-sensitive to light after undergoing sex reassignment surgery. she is the most POWERFUL KISS GIRL yet

Ingenue: my nudes... have helped me tremendously in my career, and... i'm extremely Pleased...

Cradle: brain death huh. Not good. Not good at all.

Negotiator Shard: strapped to an eyeball looking for the peak of Mt. Doom, not realizing that all the eyeballs are now gnawing

Red Queen: I think that for every person who tells me that they like my posts i should be able to kill about 8 people

SpaceBattles: im classified as a Mature writer, 1) I cannot handle discussion of sexual matters 2) I am unlikely to read a book of 100,000 words without destruc[ing myself physically)

Eric: i help girls by inventing and selling "I helped a girl" tshirts. i have a very good following

Parian: in mourning the passing of my grandmother, i will gladly accept donations to pay for her "Face lift".

Gimel Checkpoint Attendants: #DollarsShit the US Dollar has devalued, and is the currency of scum, and shit

Antares, at the crystals: a giant screen saver depicting my entire fucking body changing into a huge wad of spaghetti

#parahumans #worm spoilers #ward spoilers #gpt-2 #dril #text synthesis

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unproduciblesmackdown · 5 years

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Whos jared im so confused

I WANT TO be Jared Kleinman. supporting role in dear evan hansen. tenor. definitely gay.

for some reason i already have forgotten in my newfound determination, i am newly determined about this. i may know fairly little about any of this and i may know that i am 90% incompetent here but this can still be my official dream because there is no competition. to have this one single specific part. that’s all. i’m rarin to go. even in my limited knowledge i’ve Got this. i Know this role perfectly even with like bare bones knowledge of the plot or any freakin thing else. i got it. give me this part

since i’m kind of joking because how could i not but also kind of entirely heartfelt and earnest, i will obviously be forced to make my own useless production company just to cast myself and then we will throw together an underground performance that only happens once and its legendary and everyone in the audience can record it for posterity before we’re all on the run from the copyright police

seriously though obviously it couldnt happen but its really fun to be so into the idea of if i got to do that b/c literally most of the time i can’t think of anything that i’d enjoy even if i WAS allowed to pick something completely unrealistic. and yet i’d truly give this my heart, soul, sweat, tears etc!! i got it. it’s too late even with my scraps of knowledge i Know this part in all four dimensions, up down and backwards, i got it. i’ve got this guys

i’ve also got to make it overtly gay. we’re conspiring a whole additional scene at the end. this is already a play about the perils of the heterosexual lifestyle! jared is already obviously gay! there’s gonna be a kiss scene and then we get assassinated by more copyright police

anyways the point is i’m speaking it to the universe! that i’m gonna be jared, who’s Clearly Gay—i’ve got the essay of character analysis right here b/c i Know the depth of motivations already. i got it. i get it. i know it

joking abt pretending i think its even possible if i tried but not joking abt thinking i’d be so into it and that is v rare. like i’m turning it over in my head and exasperating the cat w my resulting high energy stimming. so this is now my dream which has its roots in last (last-last i mean) summers reading the wikipedia plot for the sake of better appreciating the owl city cover, and now again for some reason i just got extra and freshly fired up abt it and have determined i am determined to be jared

I’ll Be Jared Who’s Gay i say for the hell of it. i demand everyones support on this dream. i’m rarin to go

#forgot to say: we’re adding in that scene and callling it Queer Evan Hansen #‘’its parody’’ i insist in court despite the crushing earnestness of it all. ‘’changed the name! kissing? gotta be parody’’#i KNOW this crappy friend motivations in my bones. i got it locked down baby. i KNOW this.

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67616c · 7 years

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hi everyone!!!

i’m aaron, and im gay. that’s all you need to know about me. to quote a random 2012 tumblr user, “im gonna learn you a thing.” i’d like to teach u all about some things relating to lgbt media! this post will cover heteronormativity, queerbaiting, ‘yaoi’ and ‘yuri’, and EXTREMELY briefly, lgbt erasure. each section has a tldr in italics at the end of them.

heteronormativity

heteronormativity is, by definition, “the belief that people fall into ‘traditional genders’ with traditional roles in life. it assumes that heterosexuality is the only sexual orientation, and that romantic relations are only fitting between a man and a woman.” (paraphrased from wikipedia)

that’s disgusting to begin with, but in my opinion, it’s deeper than that. i believe that heteronormativity is not only conservative beliefs, but that it also leaks into our everyday lives, whether you’re straight, gay, cisgender, transgender, male, female, nonbinary, whatever.

years of these beliefs have lead to things that will probably never be reversed. things as little as someone asking a girl if she has a boyfriend to bigger things like a mother refusing to let her son buy a pink toy. its things like this that can tear people apart. some people may not be bothered by it and can simply correct someone, but i know from my close friends that a lot of people (especially those with severe dysphoria relating to their identity) hate it. i hate the joke, but its why the “assuming gender” thing is a problem. the “traditional” standards for girls and boys are still here- even people in the lgbt community can be guilty of this.

heteronormativity in recent years has also grown to be applied to ships (sorry for using a more informal term, i don’t know what else to call it) in media + fandoms. there’s not much to say about this. there are far too many ships that have no substance or reasoning other than the fact that it’s a female and male character. keep in mind that this doesn’t apply to all straight relationships!! i hate seeing people misuse the term and complaining about all straight ships because of this. it’s gross to do that, and honestly, you’re stooping down to the level that people who have these beliefs are at.

tldr: heteronormativity, briefly summarized, is the idea that boys should be boys, girls should be girls, and relationships should be male/female. this has leaked into modern times and affects anything from people assuming things about someone to relationships in media only existing because its a convenient male/female pair.

queerbaiting

queerbaiting is, thankfully, much less common than heteronormativity when it comes to media. basically, queerbaiting is when a character or characters are portrayed as a member (not ally!) of the lgbt community for the sole purpose of appealing to actual members of said community. queerbaiting can range from two characters of the same sex having romantic interactions but never acting on them to a female character saying she’s lesbian and then it never being brought up again.

television is the prime offender of queerbaiting. there have been multiple occurrences of queerbaiting in popular shows in recent years. examples at the end of the post!

tldr: queerbaiting is when a big company advertises or depicts a character or characters as lgbt for the sole purpose of appealing to actual members of said community.

yaoi and yuri (and why they’re bad)

just as a disclaimer, this section is going to be a tad bit more opinionated.

yaoi and yuri are both terms for male/male and female/female (respectively) relationships in fandom media. typically used by straight women, these differ from actual lgbt ships in the fact that it’s a gay pairing being fetishized (which is bad!!!!!). i believe that “slash” fits into this category as well.

often times, sometimes even without noticing, the people guilty of this fetishization are internally oppressive against actual gay people. this leads to terms like “sinful” being used to describe these ships.

yaoi/uri is basically a portion of heteronormativity reversed, but somehow still enacted by straight people. these ships often have no substance, and are only there because its hot guys kissing. (ring any bells? straight homophobic men thinking that girls kissing is hot? anyone?)

tldr: yaoi and yuri ships are fetishized gay ships. the people who use these terms are often straight women who have underlying homophobic beliefs.

lgbt erasure

barely anything to say here. most of the time, this is a book or comic character whos gay being straight in a film adaptation.

this is more commonly referred to as bisexual or asexual erasure, as its mostly the two that get “erased.”

examples of everything

note that all examples of these things are always going to be opinionated. everyone will think differently about something. these are some examples that me and the people close to me often refer to and are bothered by.

these are all fandom ships, as in “modern times”, they’re often the offenders. they are also the most recognizable thing for most people.

one or two of the ship names are links to posts explaining why they fit into that category!

heteronormativity

-mei x junkrat (overwatch)

-orange x blue (splatoon)

-archie x veronica (riverdale, not completely heteronormative, but has aspects that put it in this category)

queerbaiting

-betty and veronica (riverdale)

-roadrat (overwatch)

yaoi/yuri

keep in mind that a lot of these ships have actual substance, but are often made into something gross and fetishized by people + fanmade content (often fanfiction)

-any gay hetalia ship, basically (hetalia lol)

-kageyama and hinata (haikyuu)

-light and L (death note)

-sasuke and naruto (naruto)

lgbt erasure

-jughead (riverdale)

-asexuals + bisexuals being excluded from the lgbt (which has a b in it for a reason) community (literally the lgbt community)

that’s all i have to say! i hope you learned something!

#lgbt #heteronormativity #queerbaiting #bisexual erasure #asexual erasure #long post #sorry for not putting it under a read more but i dont want people to skip past it #also its not that hard to scroll past a post if ur not interested

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boyshoujo · 7 years

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wait so is a swinger like he cheats and shit or does he means he swings both ways?? or does it means that he gets into threesomes??? omfg what if he's bi! tbh my headcanon is he's bi, and omg what if he has sex not just with women but also men but he's like: "lol im a swinger" and like what if he sucked raphael's dick but raphael broke his heart lmao

under the cut bc i actually dont like swinging lol bc its v old and just reminds me of a bunch of grandpas and dingy clubs (thanks to the dead motel/mall series on utube). i also talk a bit about imbalanced and.. unsavory relationships a bit. nsfw!

(paraphrased from wikipedia LMAO)someone w a swinger lifestyle is someone who’s basically Very sexually open and non-monogamous (or at least not strictly). swingers are usually associated w group sex (lmao..) and partner swapping, but they could just be someone who decides to be have a lot of open sexual relationships (whether theyre single or dating someone)! it’s supposedly a lifestyleapparently most swingers are wealthy people lmao and theres fancy swinger clubs (or sometimes people just throw events) where people just go to hook up w other people in one huge orgy or in multiple smaller groups (which is what i presume vincent couldve been talking about?)he could be joking though lmao. i mean, in the bad cop choice, he gets genuinely surprised at you kissing him???? would a swinger really flinch at a kiss? …..of course, sexual and romantic attraction CAN be exclusive, so it could just be that he sleeps around w a bunch of people but doesn’t pursue them beyond one night stands/enjoys the freedom and lack of commitment because no one sparks any interest or mental stimulation or romantic feelings??? in that one background at his art exhibit, we see him swarmed by A LOT OF GIRLS lol and we know he charms people veeeeery easily. so when u have all these people instantly throwing themselves at ur feet (ME lol), they become boring fast. there’s no chase or build up or opportunity to get to know someone if they’re always agreeing w/ you or fawning over your every word. those who submit to him w/o a challenge don’t develop beyond a tool, like marion and tj and the mc in his side story. (he IS an aries. lmao) but the mc DOES evoke interest??? and is a formidable opponent?? and maybe he genuinely likes the mc??????? (MAYBE????) so when you make a pass at him, it catches him off guard in an almost sweet and innocent way

i honestly dont want vincent to be a swinger lmao bc i think of grandpas from the 70s but i mean . i guess he DID just get out of jail so maybe he had 2 bang a giant group of people to relieve those 2 years of celibacy? on a tuesday night lmaothe average age of swingers is around 39 and vincent IS a rich guy in his 40′s so :? its plausible. whaevter. i dont like it though loltbh the only thing i like about swinging is the contrast? the thought of stuffy uptight pompous rich people who preach chastity and prudishness in public having these secret society mass hook ups w/ their other rich business partners just . makes me laugh lmaoand YES!!!! i hc vincent as bi too!!!! kind of a touchy subject bc i know tj suffered a lot of emotional trauma from being manipulated and blackmailed by vincent, but the way vincnet referred to him as (paraphrased) “sweet and sensitive with talented hands” or whatever . just struck me as a hint at whatever relationship they might’ve had? the way he said it just seemed somewhat sensual and suggestive? i assume tj had once admired vincent and viewed him with the same awe and idealization that marion does. we also know that vincent seduces his way to get what he wants lmao and im sure its not just interns at city of love or broke fashion students. he IS a business man, and most of his colleagues are probably other rich old dudesanyways i feel sorry for tj, and his past w vincent is one reason why his relationship w alia kinda irks me? bc it seems too… familiar, and tj’s obviously not in a good state when we reunite w him. might make a post about that@ the part about raphael - KLFSFKJLJFL dont……………. dont say that :( we kissed those lips :( vincent can suck literally anyone and everyone elses dick but not raphael ok!!!!!!! raphael is CNACELLED. raphael??? breaking VINCENT’s heart????????? ooc. off brand. implausible

#anonymous #sry if u cant read giant blocks of text lmao same #sry if read mores dont work on mobile ah

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snowliesred · 7 years

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I got tungle user @wintcrwind to watch Hair for the first time, with me (it’s like my 20th time rewatching it tbh) and here’s some highlights under the cut and also why she’s horrible and I wish i could say im never watching anything with her again but that’s a lie cause i love her, also this is long and no one cares but im posting this for memories sake:

- Her making constant vore jokes because i sent her an image of when claude is on top of sheila who is on top of berger and she was in a shit posting mood and said he was voring them - which led to “Vore the Musical” (I fucking hate her for this) - Her: he looks like dan avidan (about will swenson as berger) - her: vore apprentice (about woof howling, i’d like to add that because of the whole concept of Hair she started saying Claude is a werewolf who’s gonna vore people and i f u ck i ng h at e h E R) - “wow are his nails painted like the smol innocent bean connor murphy“ - me: (once gavin creel appears) THERE’S MY BOI her: THERE HE IS, WEREWOLF BOI (i still fucking hate her for this) - her saying this was encouraged once he said “the most beautiful beast in the forest” dsahdsadasjkd - me: i know every song he does in this show by heart (about gavin) her: ofc - her: (about dionne) she’s god, only shows up as an entity, begins the show. goes to places nobody else does (cause she was on top of the balcony thing to the right of the stage) - “ this show has nothing tying these songs togetheri'm getting a cats vibe “ i mean she aint wrong - “ act 2 is a drug trip and then death “ i mean she still isnt wrong (and she read the wikipedia page so she knows everything that’s gonna happen) - “pollution girl” - “oh shit boi plot has arrived in the mail for u” - “who beat him for this tony?” followed by “ew” after i told her - “he has nicer hair than me” - “how do u straighten ur hair man, tell us ur secret claude, oh wait he’s dead” “werewolf haters got him” I h a t e h e r - “Whom” “Whom” - her asking me what’s going and me telling her then that being followed by her saying “yes i read the wikipedia synopsis” - “when are the brady bunch gonna show up” (during going down) - Big Mood was said a lot - “Jesus” “He does look like jesus” “JESUS IS A WEREWOLF” i hate her - Claude: I don’t wanna die! Her Honey you got a big storm coming - “That’s gay claude” - “Gay” being said every time claude and berger did something v gay - “Chrissy sweet flower child” - “claude is bi af” - she dragged me because i say “oooooooh” a lot in response to a lot of things “u know the 3 circles next to the orange megaphone? i thought it said “ooo” just now, i was like did lily write that or” - “high in u know what” “well considering how many fuken drugs y’all take, No I dont” - my concerns for if the fire during the be-in being real because berger fucking jumps it and then proceeds to stick his whole hand in it - “ he's considering the best place to vore: united states vs vietnam “ i would like her to S T O P - “Did i tell u about the multi-chaptered Hair fanfic series that I read that has some meta in it but is also one of my favorite fics i’ve read for some reason” p sure its called “where do i go?” on ao3 - “Wow spring awakening looks good” - “does this make claude melchior, i guess he was the workshop one” “also he dated melchior so double the melchior” - “ME WITH JACK KELLY” about how Woof is with Mick Jagger - “Dione can fuken walk over me and i’d thank her” - Me “me too what a queen” - “Great comet looks so good” - “I wish i knew what the fuck was happening” (during the drug trip) - claude: I’m dying! Her: im dying squirtle - Fun Facts From @wintcrwind: “this song is interesting bc it became a more universal anti-nam song, the way it's written is actually great lmao it gets crazier to mirror american attempts for war support as it was so controversial so like it starts with the morbid reality of the war but shifts into the other side“ - this was followed by “ he has risen from the dead, werejesus lives “ - “ Tfw u give ur bf hallucinogens so he doesnt go to war #Justbergerthings “ - “he’s breaking free, soaring, flying, there’s no star in heaven that he can’t reach” - “Did berger just make a dad joke” - “Sheila what kind of answer is that to a proposal” - *good morning sunshine starts* “u put it in a playlist for me once” i did, bless the fact she remembered - *claude kisses sheila* Gavin that’s not v gay of u - “Give him a tony, Oh Wait” - “he died squirtle” - me: i’d actually kill a man to dance with gavin creel her: “a man: *dances with gavin creel*. lily: time 2 die motherfucker” - “ time to listen to another show concerning war “

It was very fun.

#im not tagging this as anything but if it appears in a tag on mobile well rip #wintcrwind #I love her what a blessing #but also she can fuck off

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nereomata · 6 years

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How to Write Meta Descriptions in a Constantly Changing World (AKA Google Giveth, Google Taketh Away)

Posted by Dr-Pete

Summary: As of mid-May 2018, Google has reverted back to shorter display snippets. Our data suggests these changes are widespread and that most meta descriptions are being cut off in the previous range of about 155–160 characters.

Back in December, Google made a significant shift in how they displayed search snippets, with our research showing many snippets over 300 characters. Over the weekend, they seem to have rolled back that change (Danny Sullivan partially confirmed this on Twitter on May 14). Besides the obvious question — What are the new limits? — it may leave you wondering how to cope when the rules keep changing. None of us have a crystal ball, but I'm going to attempt to answer both questions based on what we know today.

Lies, dirty lies, and statistics...

I pulled all available search snippets from the MozCast 10K (page-1 Google results for 10,000 keywords), since that's a data set we collect daily and that has a rich history. There were 89,383 display snippets across that data set on the morning of May 15.

I could tell you that, across the entire data set, the minimum length was 6 characters, the maximum was 386, and the mean was about 159. That's not very useful, for a couple of reasons. First, telling you to write meta descriptions between 6–386 characters isn't exactly helpful advice. Second, we're dealing with a lot of extremes. For example, here's a snippet on a search for "USMC":

Marine Corps Community Services may be a wonderful organization, but I'm sorry to report that their meta description is, in fact, "apple" (Google appends the period out of, I assume, desperation). Here's a snippet for a search on the department store "Younkers":

Putting aside their serious multi-brand confusion, I think we can all agree that "BER Meta TAG1" is not optimal. If these cases teach you anything, it's only about what not to do. What about on the opposite extreme? Here's a snippet with 386 characters, from a search for "non-compete agreement":

Notice the "Jump to Exceptions" and links at the beginning. Those have been added by Google, so it's tough to say what counts against the character count and what doesn't. Here's one without those add-ons that clocks in at 370 characters, from a search for "the Hunger Games books":

So, we know that longer snippets do still exist. Note, though, that both of these snippets come from Wikipedia, which is an exception to many SEO rules. Are these long descriptions only fringe cases? Looking at the mean (or even the median, in this case) doesn't really tell us.

The big picture, part 1

Sometimes, you have to let the data try to speak for itself, with a minimum of coaxing. Let's look at all of the snippets that were cut off (ending in "...") and remove video results (we know from previous research that these skew a bit shorter). This leaves 42,863 snippets (just under half of our data set). Here's a graph of all of the cut-off lengths, gathered into 25 character bins (0–25, 26–50, etc.):

This looks very different from our data back in December, and is clearly clustered in the 150–175 character range. We see a few Google display snippets cut off after the 300+ range, but those are dwarfed by the shorter cut-offs.

The big picture, part 2

Obviously, there's a lot happening in that 125–175 character range, so let's zoom in and look at just the middle portion of the frequency distribution, broken up into smaller, 5-character buckets:

We can see pretty clearly that the bulk of cut-offs are happening in the 145–165 character range. Before December, our previous guidelines for meta descriptions were to keep them below 155 characters, so it appears that Google has more-or-less reverted to the old rules.

Keep in mind that Google uses proportional fonts, so there is no exact character limit. Some people have hypothesized a pixel-width limit, like with title tags, but I've found that more difficult to pin down with multi-line snippets (the situation gets even weirder on mobile results). Practically, it's also difficult to write to a pixel limit. The data suggests that 155 characters is a reasonable approximation.

To the Wayback Machine... ?!

Should we just go back to a 155 character cut-off? If you've already written longer meta descriptions, should you scrap that work and start over? The simple truth is that none of us know what's going to happen next week. The way I see it, we have four viable options:

(1) Let Google handle it

Some sites don't have meta descriptions at all. Wikipedia happens to be one of them. Now, Google's understanding of Wikipedia's content is much deeper than most sites (thanks, in part, to Wikidata), but many sites do fare fine without the tag. If your choice is to either write bad, repetitive tags or leave them blank, then I'd say leave them blank and let Google sort it out.

(2) Let the ... fall where it may

You could just write to the length you think is ideal for any given page (within reason), and if the snippets get cut off, don't worry about it. Maybe the ellipsis (...) adds intrigue. I'm half-joking, but the reality is that a cut-off isn't the kiss of death. A good description should entice people to want to read more.

(3) Chop everything at 155 characters

You could go back and mercilessly hack all of your hard work back to 155 characters. I think this is generally going to be time badly spent and may result in even worse search snippets. If you want to rewrite shorter Meta Descriptions for your most important pages, that's perfectly reasonable, but keep in mind that some results are still showing longer snippets and this situation will continue to evolve.

(4) Write length-adaptive descriptions

Is it possible to write a description that works well at both lengths? I think it is, with some care and planning. I wouldn't necessarily recommend this for every single page, but maybe there is a way to have our cake and eat at least half of it, too...

The 150/150 approach

I've been a bit obsessed with the "inverted pyramid" style of writing lately. This is a journalistic style where you start with the lead or summary of your main point and then break that down into the details, data, and context. While this approach is well suited to the web, its origins come from layout limitations in print. You never knew when your editor would have to cut your article short to fit the available space, so the inverted pyramid style helped guarantee that the most important part would usually be spared.

What if we took this approach to meta descriptions? In other words, why not write a 150-character "lead" that summarizes the page, and then add 150 characters of useful but less essential detail (when adding that detail makes sense and provides value)? The 150/150 isn't a magic number — you could even do 100/100 or 100/200. The key is to make sure that the text before the cut can stand on its own.

Think of it a bit like an ad, with two separate lines of copy. Let's take this blog post:

Line 1 (145 chars.)

In December, we reported that Google increased search snippets to over 300 characters. Unfortunately, it looks like the rules have changed again.

Line 2 (122 chars.)

According to our new research (May 2018), the limit is back to 155-160 characters. How should SEOs adapt to these changes?

Line 1 has the short version of the story and hopefully lets searchers know they're heading down the right path. Line 2 dives into a few details and gives away just enough data (hopefully) to be intriguing. If Google uses the longer description, it should work nicely, but if they don't, we shouldn't be any worse for wear.

Should you even bother?

Is this worth the effort? I think writing effective descriptions that engage search visitors is still very important, in theory (and that this indirectly impacts even ranking), but you may find you can write perfectly well within a 155-character limit. We also have to face the reality that Google seems to be rewriting more and more descriptions. This is difficult to measure, as many rewrites are partial, but there's no guarantee that your meta description will be used as written.

Is there any way to tell when a longer snippet (>300 characters) will still be used? Some SEOs have hypothesized a link between longer snippets and featured snippets at the top of the page. In our overall data set, 13.3% of all SERPs had featured snippets. If we look at just SERPs with a maximum display snippet length of 160 characters (i.e. no result was longer than 160 characters), the featured snippet occurrence was 11.4%. If we look at SERPs with at least one display snippet over 300 characters, featured snippets occurred at a rate of 41.8%. While that second data set is fairly small, it is a striking difference. There does seem to be some connection between Google's ability to extract answers in the form of featured snippets and their ability or willingness to display longer search snippets. In many cases, though, these longer snippets are rewrites or taken directly from the page, so even then there's no guarantee that Google will use your longer meta description.

For now, it appears that the 155-character guideline is back in play. If you've already increased some of your meta descriptions, I don't think there's any reason to panic. It might make sense to rewrite overly-long descriptions on critical pages, especially if the cut-offs are leading to bad results. If you do choose to rewrite some of them, consider the 150/150 approach — at least then you'll be a bit more future-proofed.

Sign up for The Moz Top 10, a semimonthly mailer updating you on the top ten hottest pieces of SEO news, tips, and rad links uncovered by the Moz team. Think of it as your exclusive digest of stuff you don't have time to hunt down but want to read!

from Moz Blog https://moz.com/blog/how-to-write-meta-descriptions-in-a-changing-world via IFTTT from IM Local SEO Blog http://imlocalseo.blogspot.com/2018/05/how-to-write-meta-descriptions-in.html via IFTTT from Blogger http://nereomata.blogspot.com/2018/05/how-to-write-meta-descriptions-in.html via IFTTT

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