#<- okay that one was bitchy | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

resident-gay-bitch · 1 year

Text

"that's not how you do it." steve said, his tone a little bitchy as he looked at the curly haired boy sitting on the floor in the doctors waiting room across from him.

"what do you mean that's not how you do it?" the boy said with a shriek, holding the ken and gi joe dolls in his hands out aggressively, "they're dolls! they have no rules, idiot."

"don't call me that, i'm not an idiot. i'll tell my mum on you." steve poked his tongue out.

"dibber dobber." the boy poked his tongue right back out, "plus, i don't think you know much about playing with toys because you're stacking jenga wrong."

"i'm building a house with it." steve said simply, stacking another block onto it.

"it's a shit house." the boy said, going back to his dolls.

steve gasped, "you can't say that!"

"my dad says it all the time." he shrugged, "you know, if you can build a really bad jenga house, then i think i can play with the dolls however i want."

"no." steve said, "plus, it's not a bad house!"

"it has no structural inter-egg-raty."

steve scrunched up his nose, "i don't think that's how you say that word."

"i don't care." the boy said, swinging his ken doll out to knock over steves house.

"hey!" steve gasped, and then covered his mouth to cough, "that was so mean."

"just wanted to prove my point." the boy said, "plus, if you think i'm playing dolls so wrong, then you should teach me how to do them right."

steve rolled his eyes and huffed, "fine." he crawled over to the curly haired boy, who was grinning very widely.

"so, are you joe or ken?" the boy said, holding up the dolls.

"neither." steve scoffed, "if you want to make your dolls kiss, it has to be a boy and a girl."

"nuh ahhhh." the boy shook his head out.

"yes." steve huffed, and grabbed a mangled barbie doll out of the toy box to play with, "look... barbie and ken go together. ken and gi joe aren't even close!"

"they're secret boyfriends." the boy shrugged.

"two boys can't kiss." steve glared at him, like he was dumb, and he was.

"yes they can." the boy shrugged.

"no." steve shook his head, "my dad says it's super bad and evil and will make you really sick... is that why you're here?"

the boy laughed brightly, "oh my goodness..." he wiped a tear from his eye, "are you joking me?"

steve shook his head, "no. of course not, stupid."

the boy calmed his laugh a little and smiled, "boys totally can kiss! it isn't bad or evil and it won't make you sick, i promise!" he held out the ken doll to steve, "i haven't kissed anyone... i'm only nine, you know? and i'm here because my mum is sick. why are you here?"

"i haven't kissed anyone either. i'm eight! and... i have a cough." steve shrugged, and then coughed, "mum said it has to go away before my dads work function tomorrow night, because i have to meet his work friends."

"boring." the boy blew a raspberry.

"i really don't think boys can kiss."

"boy's can kiss, just... stupid people just think its bad for some dumb reason."

"hmm." steve shrugged and held the ken doll up, "it looks stupid."

"all kissing looks stupid." the silly boy said, deadpan, "just... i think adults like it because it... is like a super hug or something."

"oh." steve shrugged, "a super hug?"

"yeah..." he said, "it's like... you kiss your family on the cheeks because it's super hugs because you love them."

"right." steve nodded.

"and then... when you think someone is pretty, you kiss them on the mouth because... they're pretty."

"so, why would ken want to kiss gi joe?" steve asked, fiddling with the dolls, "i get why joe wants to kiss ken... but..."

"don't be fooled by his buzzcut." the boy grinned and pulled up the doll's shirt to reveal plastic abs, "i think ken likes muscly men."

"okay." steve shrugged and held up his doll to play, "so... how do we make boys kiss?"

"the same as we make girls kiss." the boy shrugged and cleared his throat, putting on a manly voice as he pretended to be the doll, "oh, hello ken... you look very pretty today. blue is really your colour!"

steve shrugged and put on a ken voice, "thanks gi joe. you look super muscly! can i kiss you?"

"of course, handsome!" the boy giggled and moved his doll in to kiss steves, they made them make out for a while, with lots of kissing noises, "oh, this is the best kiss i've ever had!"

"can two boys be in love too?" steve asked, and the boy nodded with a bright smile, then steve turned the voice on again, "i think i love you joe!"

"oh my goodness!" the boy grinned, "i think i love you too! you are the prettiest boy i've ever seen."

steve giggled and made his doll kiss attack the boys, and then they were both giggling and smushing their dolls together.

once the laughter died down, they just kind of looked at each other for a moment, and steve decided to speak first, "i didn't know boys could kiss."

the boy shrugged, "don't tell your dad about it. he'll probably get mad... it can be our secret."

"okay." steve smiled, a slight blush in his cheeks, "i'm steve, by the way."

"oh... i'm eddie." eddie smiled brightly and held out his hand for steve to shake.

"you have really crazy hair, eddie." steve said.

"i know." he said with a frown, "dad says i have to cut it."

"don't... it's so cool!" steve promised.

eddie seemed to blush at that, "thanks..." he shrugged, "i think you're the prettiest boy i've ever seen, you know?"

steve blushed a lot at that, "do you think?"

eddie nodded, "yeah."

"oh." steve swallowed, he thought this boy was very pretty too, and even though he knocked over steves jenga house, he really liked him, "would you like to kiss me?"

eddie blushed even brighter, "i think so..."

steve swallowed, "i have a cough."

eddie frowned, "i don't mind... if you would like to."

steve smiled, because he would like to, "are you sure?"

eddie nodded.

"okay." steve shuffled a little closer to eddie on his knees, and the curly haired boy turned completely red, "i don't know how to kiss someone."

"me either." eddie said, "i think we just... put our mouths together."

"that sounds right." steve shrugged and started to move forward.

"steven!" his mothers voice rang from the waiting room, "steven, where are you? the doctor is ready to see you."

steve looked around the toy corner to see his mother walking into the doorway, and steve huffed, "i have to go."

"oh... okay." eddie swallowed.

steve smiled, "can i play with you at school?"

eddie frowned, "i don't go to school here. me and mum are just visiting my uncle."

"oh." steve sighed, "will you ever be back?"

"probably." eddie shrugged.

steve smiled, "okay."

"come on, steven. you don't want to keep him waiting." his mother tapped her foot.

"coming." steve said, looking back at her with a smile.

she turned and grabbed her things.

"well..." steve shrugged, "if i see you ever again, then i owe you your first kiss."

"okay." eddie squeaked, still red as a tomato as steve hopped up and ran for his mother, "bye, steve!"

"bye, eddie!" steve shouted, "hope to see you soon!"

★ ☆ ★

Part 2 hereee

258 notes · View notes

trentcrimminallybeautiful · 1 month

Text

i think the diamond dogs should play improv games just bc it would amuse me, an ex theater kid, specifically

#ted and beard ofc are reading each others minds #trent is shockingly good at it but only when he forgets to be self conscious #also see: he does both best and worst with ted (best when he's not being self conscious #worst when somehow the prompt gets too touchy or 'romantic' bc Crush Crush Crush Brain Panic)#(please the image of ted in character hugging him or something and trent just. red. brain crashed. no longer improving just frozen. barely #manages to recover and even then it was not subtle. unclear if ted is a) genuinely oblivious b) teasing him and thinks trent knows that #c) something else(??) )#roy is too stiff most of the time but if he gets really into it he gets REALLY into it.#best way to get this result is to involve phoebe or another child #higgins did community theater at some point and is the one teaching them all the games. beard also seems to have done intense research #but higgins is the one with EXPERIENCE #not that i think beard and ted couldn't have done an improv duo in college or something but in this scenario they did not #nate surprisingly is pretty good at it once he gets into it like it takes him a second but #then he's like. really getting into it and he's very quick on his feet #new way to go mad with power (affectionate): the rush you get when you make the perfect snap back comedic line/acting choice #also while trent is so good paired with so many of them i think he and nate would be a hilarious duo. they're SO funny.#they complement each other well and are both quick & clever #esp if it's about a mutual interest (although one of them taking the lead on something else like nate and music while the other plays off t #em is also good) but like #please i just had the iamge of them basically doing a bit where they're like. those mean old gay muppets in the theater?#like trent and nate improv duoing as some bitchy reviewers just going back and forth and it's so FAST and SO funny #beard records it and posts it somewhere and it goes viral.#god don't even get me started on the idea of some sort of official richmond social media/the gang posting random clips on social media #bc the ideas i have are so funny.#also largely trent centric but what do you want from me okay i'm just a little slut.

25 notes · View notes

sesamestreep · 1 year

Note

50 jyn/cassian? 👀

50. the hands of fate (from this prompt list)

After such a crushing defeat, Cassian decides that what he and his teammates really need is another round, and since everyone else is still arguing over the finer points of the last question, he decides it’s up to him to make that happen. Luckily, the bar is not particularly crowded at that moment, so he’s able to get the attention of the bartender right away.

“What can I get for you?” she asks, leaning slightly across the bar to hear him better.

It takes him a minute to remember why he’s there, because he’s been doing trivia at this bar for the last few months and he’s never seen this bartender before, which is only notable because she’s exceptionally pretty. She’s got bright green eyes, and hair that manages to be messy in a way he suspects might actually be fashionable, and she’s wearing a black tank top that shows off some very cool-looking tattoos on her biceps. The usual Thursday night bartender barely even looks at him when she takes his order, let alone going so far as to actually speak to him in full sentences.

“Did you want to order something?” she asks, warily, and her expression shutters in the way of an experienced customer service professional who’s used to dealing with drunk people and skeevy men with alarming frequency.

Cassian shakes his head, as if to clear his mind so he doesn’t (rightfully) earn this bartender’s wrath by staring for another minute. “Yeah, sorry,” he says, adopting what he hopes is a genial expression. “We just got our asses handed to us at trivia, so my cognitive function hasn’t fully returned yet.”

The bartender offers him a half-smile at that and nods. “Take your time.”

“Uh, I think I’m just going to get another round for everyone,” Cassian says, and then rattles off his team’s drink orders. The bartender nods and, even though she doesn’t stop to write it down, he has a feeling she’s got it memorized.

She starts making a drink in front of him, and only looks up a moment later when she realizes he’s still there. “I can bring them over when I’m done,” she says, pointing her chin in the direction of his table while her hands are occupied pouring vodka into a cocktail shaker.

“Oh, right,” Cassian says, stupidly. “That would be great. I, uh, already mentioned my brain’s not working, right?”

She laughs a little, which feels sort of like a victory, and shakes her head. “Must have been a tough loss.”

“We came this close to winning for once!” he can’t help griping. “But no one on my team knew the names of the three Fates in Greek mythology.”

The bartender tosses the shaker from side to side in a practiced motion, and gives him a barely interested look. “You mean, the Moirai?” she asks.

Cassian barely stops himself from gaping at her. “I, uh, think they wanted the individual names, actually.”

“Oh, so like Clotho, Lachesis, and Atropos, then?”

“Jesus, do you write the questions?”

She smiles and pulls a glass out from under the counter. “No,” she says, as she deftly pours the contents of the shaker into the glass. “I just went through a very intense Greek mythology phase when I was a kid.”

“Thank god. I was beginning to think I was just stupid!”

“The two ideas are not mutually exclusive,” she replies, breezily, as she tosses an olive into the drink. “I’ll bring your drinks right over, unless you want me to keep talking to you about mythology.”

There actually isn’t anything Cassian wants more at the moment, but he’s already lost so much dignity at trivia that he can’t afford to lose anymore getting shut down by this beautiful bartender, so he nods and thanks her before he heads back to his table. Bodhi has finally stopped reading Wikipedia on his phone (a time-honored post-loss tradition for them) and is sitting with his head resting on Taidu’s shoulder. Melshi, on the other side of the table, is slumped in his chair, staring into the dregs of his beer.

“Another round incoming,” he says, clapping Melshi on the shoulder.

“Thank god,” Melshi replies, sitting up.

“We are bad at trivia,” Bodhi proclaims, which is also a time-honored tradition.

“We did better this time,” Taidu counters.

“Yeah, but we still lost.”

“Progress over perfection.”

“Stop being reasonable,” Melshi groans. “The wound is still too fresh.”

“You know what’s great for treating wounds?” a voice over Cassian’s shoulder asks. “Alcohol!”

The beautiful bartender appears then, with their drinks on a small tray and starts depositing them on the table, where Taidu immediately helps divvy them up to their respective recipients.

“What are you doing here?” Bodhi asks her, which seems like an odd response. Cassian looks between the two of them, puzzled.

“I told you I was working tonight,” the bartender replies, resting the now-empty tray on her hip.

“No, you didn’t.”

“I sent you a text!”

“Oh,” Taidu says. “That was your first mistake. He never reads his texts.”

“Shut up,” Bodhi says, thumping him lightly on the shoulder. “I read texts! I even reply to them! I am a functional person!”

Taidu and the bartender scoff at the same time, and Cassian is definitely missing something.

“So, why are you working tonight?” Bodhi asks, before Cassian can figure out a way to ask what’s going on without seeming rude. “I mean, I read your text, for sure, but like…remind me?”

“Kennel no-call, no-showed and Baze asked me to fill in.”

“What?! Tell me everything!”

“I just did. She didn’t call out or give notice so I have no idea what happened.”

“Okay, that’s more boring than I expected,” Bodhi says, sounding disappointed. “I always thought she’d get fired for coming after you with a knife or something.”

“You and me both, buddy,” the bartender says.

“Kennel is the usual Thursday night bartender?” Taidu asks, speaking for all of them.

“Yeah,” Bodhi says. “She’s fucking nuts.”

“Good riddance,” she agrees. Then, she turns her attention to Cassian, pointing at him with her elbow. “I put the drinks on your tab, by the way.”

Cassian blinks at her in surprise. “Oh, right. Yeah. Good. Did I—sorry, I don’t think I gave you my name, so…”

“No, but I know Bodhi, which means I also know Taidu, naturally, and I’ve met Melshi before, so I guessed you were probably Bodhi’s other co-worker, Cassian, who he does trivia with but whom I’ve never met and there was a card with that name behind the bar, so…”

“Okay, seriously, are you some kind of savant or something? Between this and knowing all of the trivia answers…”

She smiles. “I have the distinct advantage of being more sober than almost everyone in the room, which gives the impression of genius where there is none.”

“Bodhi, you didn’t tell Cassian your roommate worked here, did you?” Taidu asks suddenly, sounding amused.

Bodhi smacks himself on the forehead. “She doesn’t normally work Thursdays,” he admits, miserably, before looking up. “Cassian, this is my roommate, Jyn. She works here.”

“Jyn. Right,” Cassian says, feeling some puzzle pieces slot into place. “I’ve heard a lot about you. It’s nice to finally meet.”

“Same,” she says, extending a hand for him to shake and giving him a mysterious smile. “Though Bodhi did say you were the ringer on the trivia team, and you didn’t even know the names of the Moirai.”

“Cassian is the ringer,” Melshi says, “which just goes to show how terrible the rest of us are.”

“I think Kay was technically our ringer,” Cassian replies.

“Until he got perma-banned,” Bodhi adds, dejectedly.

“Kay?” Jyn asks.

“My roommate,” Cassian specifies. “It was for the best, he argued with the host too much.”

“Oh, that guy,” she says, nodding. “Baze and Chirrut have his picture hung up in the office. We throw darts at it, uh, lovingly.”

Cassian waves away the sheepish look she gives him. “I live with him. I understand the impulse. Anyway, that’s how Taidu ended up joining us.”

“Lucky them,” he says, raising his glass in a mock toast. “I know nothing, it turns out.”

“I mean, if they ever need someone to answer a question about the intricacies of Formula 1, you’re their man,” Jyn says.

“Taidu watches a lot of F1 at our apartment,” Bodhi explains. “He’s trying to get Jyn into it.”

“It’s not nearly violent enough for my tastes,” she says, mildly. “Anything else before I go back to the bar? Need me to name all the Argonauts, perhaps?”

“Oh, you’re going to be insufferable about this, aren’t you?” Bodhi asks, covering his face with his hands.

“It’s going to be like the eagle, pecking out Prometheus’s liver every day, only it’ll be me taunting you with Greek mythology facts.”

“Mythological facts, huh?” Melshi asks.

“I’m sorry,” Jyn says, leaning in close. “I have trouble hearing people who’ve never won bar trivia in their lives.”

“You’re right,” he replies, holding his hands up in defeat. “You got us there.”

“Next week,” Cassian says emphatically, “is going to be our week. I’m calling it.”

The pitying look Jyn gives him before she leaves their table does nothing to bolster his confidence—nor does it quell the spark of attraction he felt when he first saw her. He was really hoping the revelation that she’s Bodhi’s roommate might help with that, but no such luck. If anything, he likes her more now; Bodhi has always talked about Jyn in glowing terms and Cassian can see now that she lives up to her reputation.

He realizes only a little belatedly that he’s been watching her walk away, which feels like a bridge too far, and catches Melshi giving him an unimpressed look. He schools his expression into something overly innocent and Melshi snorts before returning his attention to his beer.

They hang around, replaying their demoralizing defeat for the tenth time and vowing (as always) to do better next time, until their drinks are finished and then everyone gets ready to leave. Melshi heads off for the train with a sardonic salute and Taidu and Bodhi head off in search of a cab, while Cassian lives close enough that he’s just going to walk home. He is already halfway out the door when he realizes he left his credit card at the bar.

He does a heel turn and heads back in, waiting at the least crowded corner of the bar until he can get someone’s attention. He’s seen a few people milling around behind the bar all night, but as far as he can tell Jyn is the only bartender on and she’s the only one there now, which means she’s busy, so he settles in to wait once he catches her eye and she gives him a nod to say she’ll be right with him.

“Sorry about that,” she says, when she finally makes her way over to him around five minutes later. “We’re short-staffed, as you know. I didn’t know Thursdays were this busy!”

“No problem,” Cassian says, signing his receipt and handing it back to her while he pockets his card. “I’ve got nowhere to be.”

Jyn drums her fingers on the bar as she considers him. “You should know,” she says, after obvious deliberation, “I only date people who win at bar trivia.”

He could not possibly have heard that correctly. “I…what?”

“I think it’s only fair that you know this about me, since you’re making your interest known.”

“I wasn’t—that’s not what—I wasn’t saying I’ve got nowhere to be like that, just that I wasn’t in a hurry! I was not trying to—”

“Sure.”

“I’m serious. It was just an expression!”

She treats him to the most exaggerated, patronizing nod of all time. “Right. And you were absolutely not checking me out earlier.”

“I was not doing that,” Cassian says, and it’s frankly embarrassing how transparent of a lie it is.

“I don’t blame you,” Jyn says, shrugging her shoulders. “I’m very cute.”

“Huh. Now that you mention it…”

She smiles, one of those mysterious, knowing ones he finds so intriguing. “Bodhi did always say he thought you and I would get along if we ever met.”

“Too bad you have such high standards,” he replies, easily. “I could think of a few ways we could get along better.”

“Well, there’s always next week,” she offers.

“You mean, next week when we’re going to win trivia and you’re going to give me your number? That next week?”

Jyn shakes her head, but he can see she’s fighting a smile. “I admire your optimism.”

“Get ready to admire my intellect too,” he says, “when I win bar trivia.”

“Whatever you say, Cassian.”

“So,” Cassian says, as he leans up against the bar a week later after trivia has wrapped up, “are you absolutely sure you couldn’t be talked into dating someone much much dumber than you?”

Jyn’s answering laugh, surprised and delighted and unrestrained, makes him feel so much prouder of himself than winning trivia ever could. Not that he knows for sure, of course, never having done the latter, but if he had to guess.

80 notes · View notes

alexanderpearce · 4 months

Text

me in the new labour dress at galentines trying not to cry as the girls talk about their boy/girl issues (the lacuna of my personal contribution to this topic was massive and gaping) (why are we not talking about the 2008 gfc right now)

#its okay one pf my friends was the same as me + we ended up talking about cannibalism #listening to some insanely bitchy gay guys on the bus rigjt now dont think they’re having the best nighr #my face

13 notes · View notes

jtownraindancer · 5 months

Text

Ace's TURИ for Burn Rewatch: Blade on the Feather

#bitchy!hewlett my beloved #burn gorman #major hewlett #edmund hewlett #edmund my dearest 🔭#my beloved starboy 🌌#turn washington's spies #amc turn #turn #my gifs #oyster major whomst.?#he gives absolutely no more shits and while i Love that for him i Hate what it took for that to happen #'you should be. afraid that is.' and wrapping the fucking bombshell with a 'god save the king.'#still one of my favourite scenes for my dearest edmund i care not #shut up ace #okay but just barging his way in & taking some alcohol A N D telling off andré? seriously I adore him in this scene.#ESPECIALLY his stance on how every citizen has a duty to their soul? ;_;#okay okay I'm done now i swear

18 notes · View notes

thelaurenshippen · 1 year

Text

oh also, I'm listening to 210 right now and this was probably my favorite episode to write outside of the finale so I can't waaaaaiiiit for people to hear it

#bridgewater #bridgies #I LOVE BITCHY VIPIN OKAY #AND HE GETS TO BE SO BITCHY #sOMEONE doesn't like that their best friend is being courted by a potential new best friend #beyond that #there's just a bunch of weird fun shit in it #210: an adventure in soybeans and AM radio #also there was one moment when I legitimately jumped out of my skin listening #bc I forgot exactly when a certain thing happened and it was SCARY OKAY

64 notes · View notes

torchickentacos · 4 months

Text

HEARTBREAKING: Person within your oppressed group acts as if they speak for every single other person in the group

#i'm inviting trouble with this one tbh but this is ok to rb. in a rare bitchy mood rn and idc. go for it <3 i'll mute the post if i have to #physically disabled people and our opinions are NOT a monolith i promise skjdksjd #nothing ever is #one person cannot speak for all of us. though this is less one thing and more a general pattern i see sometimes #usually i ignore online opinions I don't see eye to eye with but i had to have my petty moment for this pattern ngl #anyways. i explicitly disagree with other physically disabled people who act like other disabilities are of lower priority or for attention #or who act as if otherwise disabled people are constantly derailing disabled discussion by adding onto it #either explicitly outline a discussion as for fellow physically disabled people only from the get-go #or you can't get mad when wider ranges of disabled people weigh in!#like i GET IT it sucks to feel derailed or spoken over but it's on you to set those parameters if you want to #idk sometimes it's giving 'let the REAL disabled people talk' and i kind of fucking hate it tbh #okay that's my divisive opinion for the month o7 see yall later

11 notes · View notes

zappedbyzabka · 4 months

Text

💅

#Idk why he’s the only one wearing light colors if they didn’t want me to think he’s the soldier bride of the evil ass bitchy ass disgusting #group.#Gale force #Okay. you cunty man.#Random

9 notes · View notes

monkee-mobile · 8 months

Text

will never get over that at some point the monkees decided that they could just ask each other for platonic kisses and it’s become so commonplace that micky just assumes Davy is asking him for a kiss when they’re talking about the band kiss.

and this was written by michael fucking nesmith.

#the monkees #mike nesmith #peter tork #davy jones #micky dolenz #the monkees 90s special #the special is so weirdly structured and tricky to understand at first glance and i have SO MANY qualms about micky’s hair #but it’s worth it for #monkees four way platonic marriage written by our own michael nesmith #the monkees single handledly ended homophobia in their world #it’s the ‘no thanks’ because the monkees say consent rules and the ‘no but davy wants one’ for me #because they just all give each other platonic kisses??? is that what you’re telling me mr. nesmith??#at some point davy stopped looking for girls and just does the dishes in his little housewife apron and gets all bitchy and uptight #idk they’re domestic and i love it #don’t even get me started on later in the special when micky tries to cover up the kiss thing with something about ‘kisses are bad’#like no bb get over your internalized homophobia yes you’re on air but you’re free now #mike you’re not a good tv writer but that’s okay babe

19 notes · View notes

filmbyjy · 1 year

Text

mhm agreed🫶🏻

me to my friend who hates ni-ki and is only OT6😍

#like I am not over how EVERYTIME #ni-ki comes on the screen my friend looks away #WHAT DID MY CHILD DO TO YOU?#HELLO YOU CANT JUST ASSUME HE HAS A BITCHY ATTITUDE AND FACE BASED ON YOUR INSTINCTS👹#and she traded a ni-ki pc for my heeseung pc 😒#lost my heeseung pc to her😪#it’s okay I gained a heeseung pc from border day one album >:)#I also gained a ni-ki pc from it too >:)#heeki nation only☝️#who could hate this baby :(#my child :’(

31 notes · View notes

trentcrimminallybeautiful · 8 months

Text

literally just. cannot stop thinking about s1 trent getting kissed absolutely senseless by ted

#i love concocting scenarios to make this happen #tedependent #its just such a good dynamic #the earlier in the season the better almost bc just like #trent is trying so so so hard to be professional and not to like him but goddamn it he DOES like him #(honestly i think just. past that first press conference even before the interview he finds himself unwillingly charmed)#so like. just. before or after the interview whatever the case #him trying to be sooo normal about this #and then ted just. fucking. kissing him senseless. like obviously there's really no reason for s1 ted to do this normally #hence concocting scenarios. but like. just. imagining it happening entertains me. rotating it in my brain #s1 trent just getting his brains snogged out #ted can wreck him SHOCKINGLY fast with very little effort. even trent is a bit stunned by how easy it is #one second you are professional bitchy journalist trent crimm the next second you are a dazed moaning wreck.#if youre lucky youre being quiet about it but either way ted lasso has your back to the wall and hands in your hair and WOW okay #no thoughts head empty only ted lasso is a PHENOMENAL KISSER APPARENTLY

51 notes · View notes

halfelven · 1 year

Text

love random not even logged in readers just dropping their 'constructive criticism' on your 100k+ story that you're putting online entirely for free. this is just a rant btw

"You obviously have a great talent and I think you should work on honing it some. As much as I’ve enjoyed the story, there are a few things that stand out that you might consider looking at. I feel like the story isn’t sure what it wants to be at times; is it character driven or plot driven? It doesn’t flow smoothly because sometimes we have these wonderful character vignettes, like Illumi and Kalluto on a road trip or Kite/Leorio/Gon/Killua in an apartment where plot doesn’t really feel important, followed by what feels like heavily plot driven beats, like Kalluto and the spiders. In addition, it contributes to confusion because sometimes we see established characterization turned on its head. Especially the weird way everyone all of a sudden just sort of was OK with Kalluto being a spider and then working with Illumi when they just went to all that trouble to escape him? It all kind of feels forced and not natural. You know?

Anyway, I’ll definitely keep reading and look forward to seeing what happens."

first: love you trying to sound legitimate with your "in addition" like this is some kind of writer's workshop. second: in what way would I, the writer, think that an incomplete part of my story in which the reader does not yet know most of the main motivations (they are only hinted at so far) feels forced and not natural when I know what's happening, where it is going (and where I haven't had other readers comment with confusion about that part)

and moving on. don't do this. also like i said this is a wip in and no, no one is cool with Kalluto being a spider and no they're not cool working with Illumi, really. it was already established that some of them /have/ been working with Illumi before this~ he's someone that they know. like have you never been in a seriously dangerous situation that you just have to get through before you get back to what you want?*** also at this point Chrollo's real motive hasn't been entirely revealed.

Killua keeps changing his mind about what he's doing because he's a scared kid whose self-hatred is destroying him from the inside out. the POV is so tight that I have to keep dropping reminders that what is stated in the narrative is often not true! Illumi's POV, for example, keeps showing Killua as really loving him and being happy he's around but struggling with a desire for freedom, while with Killua's POV he's terrified of Illumi most of the time. like how is that not obviously a distorted POV where you can't trust the narrator?

"where plot doesn’t really feel important, followed by what feels like heavily plot driven beats"

this part is especially irritating because it's like yeah that's how I want to write it? this isn't a published novel. I don't have to commit to making sure every scene is important to the plot. I can spend time writing a full scene about someone drinking a glass of water and then 13 chapters in a row that are for moving the plot forward. I didn't even tag it as a novel... I did tag it for unreliable narration and I keep getting annoyed that people keep ignoring that.

"I feel like the story isn’t sure what it wants to be at times; is it character driven or plot driven?"

it's both??? it's neither??? it's a fanfic??? why do I keep getting comments lately where people are expecting me to adhere to like fucking publishing standards. this keeps up and I will write a chapter which is entirely about a minor character drinking a glass of water. watch me. I'll write one about phinks drinking a glass of water and you'll like it*

"Overall, the story is good and presented a compelling alternative to CA. Look, each fan has their own opinion on CA and I know I didn’t like it. I think it was a product of what Togashi was going through as he began to experience health issues and then finding himself right back where he said he wasn’t going to be mentally after he ended his earlier manga. We can never know for sure, but it certainly had a “watch it all burn vibe” to it near the end. I honestly believe he wanted it to end with the finality of Gon’s suicide as a capstone statement, but was probably convinced to go a different route, which kinda of left a jarring feel in the narrative and culminated in a rather unsatisfying end to Gon and Killua’s journey. Despite that, I am very reluctant to read fics where the events of CA are erased or grossly modified and honestly yours is really the first long AU/alternate timeline I’ve enjoyed"

okay first of all, I love the CA arc. but I had to split a point off where Kite was going to survive. why do you have to leave this whole paragraph about how you think Togashi was or wasn't going to go with the CA on my fanfic? I didn't even write this as 'oh look at my alternative to CA bc I hated CA' I don't really look forward to hearing comments about how random people didn't like so and so aspect of the story that I'm basing my story off of. I've never written fanfic for a story that I didn't like (except for some things that I don't have published I wrote at a request for friends for a fandom they were into that I wasn't really) and yeah I've wanted to 'fix' aspects (like tolkien's treatment of women for example) but I am not looking for your 'this is what I hated about the source material' comments on my stories

tired of getting comments with little 'oh I didn't like your style at first but now I do' or 'here's how to fix your story!' unsolicited advice from people who aren't better writers than me (I don't even want it from people who would be better writers than me on stuff I'm just doing for fun and for free)

when did stuff like this become normal? at least don't be a coward and be not logged in so you can't even get a response notification. like girl they aren't cool with it! why do you think everyone is on guard standing around like they're in a fucking hostage situation? how do you see such wildly different interpretations from different character's POVs and think it's not intentional? what part about Kite watching Killua like a fucking hawk makes you think he's going to let Illumi take him after this?

like if you've never had to smile and pretend to be cool with your abuser (pretend to love them) or someone who was threatening you to keep someone else safe then good for you! it fucking sucks! also don't know how to explain to you what a child who is growing up in an extremely isolated abusive situation goes through (though I keep writing about it in this story you should catch on...) but it's a million back and forths with emotion and feelings--especially if their abuser does (to in some way or to some degree) love them. and it is often blaming themselves. I'm not letting my years of studying human psychology and child development go to waste here**

is this story perfect? no but I'm not gonna hire an editor for a fanfic. and everyone's interpretations of characters will be different. especially with child characters who are going through huge changes in the world around them and their personal lives. part of the appeal of fanfiction is 'who would they become if this happened instead?' *sorry I keep writing about starving and not having clean drinking water but I will never stop because that's what I grew up with and it's hell. also phinks drinking water would be compelling since I assume he'd have harder access to clean drinking water

**hunter x hunter is also one of the only stories I have encountered with characters who have backgrounds as fucked up as mine and Togashi's interest in human psychology really stands out.

***like good for you but that was most of my life and you sometimes just have to shut up and get through it. and no I will not put my notes in the right order bc I'm not being paid enough****

****I'm being paid nothing

#sorry i got one too many comments that irritated me #feel free to chime in if you're getting comments like this too #it's been really getting on my nerves lately #and making me not want to post anything #you're not my teacher or editor #and i don't use a beta reader bc i'd never post anything #if i had to think of it as work and not just for me #i already do writing for work where i have to really consider the reader #i also didn't like one commenter pointing out typos #i'll catch them at some point #they were like great chapter! here's all the mistakes i saw #so download the story and fix them yourself if they bother you so much you have to run through and do line edits #if you don't want typos i'd have to wait two to three months so the story looked fresh #to catch them before posting and i'm not doing that #you can think this sounds bitchy but writing is hours and hours of work #i could jot down five sentences just for myself and have a story for years just remembering what i was thinking when i wrote those #you want a perfectly edited story? then go read a professionally published book #oh i guess that's not good enough for you either #okay now i am being bitchy but in my defense #i'm not forcing them to read it

18 notes · View notes