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funkymbtifiction · 7 years

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I’ve read your post about the difference between Ne and Ni, and I have some doubts… In every test I did, INFP was the result, and I really identify with the description. As for your post, I thought while reading about Ne "This is so me" until the last point. It said something like that, if your original plan doesn’t come out as planned, Ni users are “stuck” while Ne users generally adapt more easily. In this case, I really go into panic attacks when (important) plans don’t go as expected, and I give up on everything and think “Oh God, of course it’s gone bad, how I could ever imagine it could end up differently? I’m such a loser” etc. I need to say that I suffer from severe depression, anxiety, and other mental illnesses I won’t say here. I’ve been struggling with them for many years, since I was a young teen - now I’m 22. How does an INFP express anxiety and depression? Of course, everyone’s experience is different. But I thought… maybe I could be in a Fi-Si loop? Because when I need to try something new, I always think: “Well, if this is gone bad in the past, there’s a chance that it’ll be the same now… So I won’t take any chances.” Also, I need to say that the second result on my MBTI tests has always been ISFJ. Maybe I’m mistyped or is it a common problem for INFPs? Thanks for reading this. I really enjoy your blog, by the way!

(Sorry for my English, I’m not a native speaker. I hope this isn’t a problem.)

Your English is excellent, no need to fret. :)

It’s possible your “freaking out” over plans going badly ties in with your inferior function – using extroverted thinking for you is a draining process, using a function that you aren’t comfortable manifesting quickly in daily life (as a social and cognitive introvert); in this way, your extroverted counterparts (ENXP) have an easier time rapidly changing gears mid-process; as extroverts, they are capable of responding to situations as they happen, or even anticipating them in the near future and responding in advance.

The “I’ve failed at this before, why even believe it can go better this time?” is a common problem with lower Si-users; they may possess the Ne excitement to set out to try again, then find their confidence waning while mid-process, and then question themselves and have a melt down.

(If it makes you feel better, I have a melt down at least two times during writing a novel – right at the start and somewhere near the end, when I freak out and become convinced I cannot do this. I have done it, finished a book, wrapped everything up, and had a coherent plot at the end, a dozen times, but my lower Si is so truly, devastatingly LOUSY that it freaks out on me, tells me I’ve forgotten important details, and “can’t rationally remember” that it’s always fine. And when it isn’t fine, I have always been able to fix it.)

Fear isn’t rational; it’s emotional. Panic attacks (oh, how I know thee!) aren’t rational, they’re emotional. But how do you talk yourself out of them? That, usually, gives you some indication of your true type; Te often cites real life examples or statistics to calm itself down (I’m afraid of this happening… but it almost never happens, let’s go look up how many times it’s been documented to happen and calculate the odds of it happening to me, and then come up with a proactive plan just in case, which involves something I can do about it, in advance! Ne/Te), whereas Ti seeks to understand the thing completely, from the inside out, in order to grant self confidence in dealing with it (I’m afraid this might happen, so I’m going to analyze what I know about it, and learn all I can about it, so I feel competent in dealing with it, should it ever arise).

Anxiety and depression manifest differently in the same type, but it’s common for a Fi to withdraw from other people and be unable to talk about the feelings that drove them into depression, or how they truly feel; INFPs in particular may turn to artistic expression in order to deal with their depression or sadness – this is how the world has wound up with some very “emo” poetry, sorrowful songs, or dark paintings. Often, a depressive INFP is a looping INFP – they’re cycling between their intense feelings (Fi) and their past experiences (Si), which stagnates them and makes them incapable of moving forward – since Ne/Si is always wanting to move forward, to achieve greater ends, to get away from too much sameness, this stagnation further compounds the depression, and causes them to lose all contact with Ne – without Ne, their creativity, idealism, and driving force, the INFP collapses into intense internal reflection and melancholy, which can only break when re-engaging Ne (often through dramatic new experiences, discovering something completely new, meeting new people, or forcing themselves to push through, accept that, “Well, today I’m having a bad day… but I’m going to find a way to make it okay” and pull up their proverbial boot straps.

With regards to mistyping, in my experience with INFPs and ISFJs:

ISFJs are much more in tune with others’ feelings, needs, and wants than INFPs, who are better at understanding their own feelings than the ISFJ.

The INFP is sometimes far more blunt, and inclined to write people off who offend their sense of moral identity (these people don’t mesh with me, I want nothing more to do with them) than the ISFJ, who tries to see things from others’ perspectives and remain tactful even when they dislike someone.

The ISFJ is more in tune with concrete reality, and far better at detail retention than the INFP, who inclines more toward a big picture focus and loses sight of the details.

The INFP is more emotional, but less visibly so, than the ISFJ, due to introverted feeling (Fi) filtering everything before it reaches Ne (how does this align with who I truly am and my strongest ethical views? - Fi; and what new ideas does this present to me, and how does it tie into everything else I know? NeSi); whereas the ISFJ filters everything through “what is my experience with this?” followed by “what do I think about it ethically, and what do others think about it?”).

ISFJs are better able to handle daily conversations and those relating to tangible things (books, movies, relationships, friendships, where they went, what they saw, what they ate, who was there, who wore what, etc); where INFPs are more interested in intangible things (what is the meaning of this, what does it say to me, is there a broader connection to make, what psychology, theology, philosophy, worldview, etc., is involved in this thought?).

Hope that helps. I’m glad you like the blog. :)

- ENFP Mod

PS: To save someone from asking, ENFPs in depression are typically shut off from their extroverted dominant function, which means they’re either stuck in a semi-unhealthy Fi state (wallowing in their feelings) or falling into inferior Si, which is pessimistic and tends to believe “nothing will ever change, and I’ll be stuck in this place, with these people, or in this state of mind… forever.” Typically, my most intense periods of depression (and I deal with them… a lot) relate to a lack of purpose, being unable to be creative on a level that sustains my Ne-desire for “newness,” being “stuck” in a situation, relationship, or mental place where I cannot progress forward, or are triggered or exacerbated by the cruelties of life. Like most people in depression, I lose my sense of self, my creativity, my ability to find new ideas or have any interest in exploring something from multiple perspectives, I often experience “brain fog” where it feels like too much effort to translate my thoughts (scattered, incoherent, and often dark) into writing, and I lose interest in things. The trick for me is to either accept my depression and work toward lifting it (by engaging with people, forcing myself to socialize, and actively seeking out new things, rather than sitting home brooding) or by finding something so new and exciting that it snaps me out of my funk into the present.

PPS: The new take on Anne Shirley, on CBC (Canada) and coming to Netlflix in May is the perfect example of how an INFP (Anne) deals with depression, panic attacks, and abuse. It’s simply called Anne, and so far, the first two episodes have dealt with painful Si flashbacks, which send her into panic attacks (to the point where she cannot breathe, and her hearing blurs); she’s also extremely Fi in that she shares what really happened with no one. And she copes by creating elaborate Ne-fantasies to avoid real life and distract her from her pain. It’s a sublime show all around. A good contrast for an ISFJ dealing with a negative past is in the live action Cinderella, where she (Si-dom) chooses to focus on happy memories from the past, rather than create elaborate fantasies.

#question #depression #infp #enfp #mbti #isfj #submission

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silver-and-ivory · 7 years

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I simply do not believe that you can, in fact, continue to listen to black people, or indeed ascribe any value to them at all, while also defending your right to be afraid of them as a generic group. You -will- discount what they say, regardless of whether or not it should be discounted. And like, your entire justification for this, besides someone abusing you, is that other people feeling bad makes you feel bad, and how dare they. That you're proud of this is amazing.

(cont) But I dunno, you clearly can’t and shouldn’t engage with racial issues because of your scrupulosity. What’s astounding, though, is that you take that same scrupulosity and wear it like a badge of integrity and superiority. And it’s perfect for you, since because your racism is a product of your scrupulosity, nobody can criticize you, because that would be unfair.

Hey, anon.

If I’m interpreting your message correctly, you’re mainly concerned by me because you think that I am proud of hating black people, and the other issues - not believing I can listen to black people, saying I don’t value black people, etc. - are all linked to this. You would be okay if I treated my scrupulosity as something that I needed to work on, but you *aren’t* okay with it because you think I’ve given up on trying to help blacks.

You have a very valid point here, and it’s one that I hadn’t necessarily thought of. Thank you for explaining!

However, I think there has also been a miscommunication. (link to whole post)

Here’s what’s going on with me being proud of being a “bad racist”:

I’m proud that I was able to look at myself clearly and admit, Yes, this is how you feel when you see black people, and it’s how you’ve felt for a while.

I’m proud that I am finally able to separate “actually a legitimately bad person who is very harmfully racist” from “just someone who my abuser thinks is a racist”.

I’m proud that I don’t have to constantly worry about what other people will think of me, and that I’ve finally thought my way out of sj.

I’m proud that I’ve confronted what I feared most (being a racist).

I’m proud that I was able to recognize my emotions in general- the dissociation and guilt/shame associated with Her, the intense self-loathing I had begun to develop, the anxiety caused by constant self-criticism, and yes, the secret fear of black people. I spent a long time ignoring them and denying that they exist - this might be something to do with alexythmia, or maybe just certain thought complexes associated with sj.

Of course, to someone looking in this would look at lot like “lol I hate black people”, especially, when, um, I literally said something like “lol I hate black people”.

My intention behind this was to say, “So, ex-friend, I’m someone you would call a racist. I’m someone you would accuse of hating black people. But I don’t actually endorsedly hate black people, obviously, and I’m done adhering to your standards for who I should be. I’m illustrating this by showing how absurd it is that you might think I endorsedly hate black people. Also, I do legitimately unendorsedly hate black people and you’re the reason why.”

So yeah, anon, sorry about 1) any unclarity there or 2) any negative effects it’s had on you.

However: I have repeatedly stated that I believe that people should have their own spaces where they can say things like “fuck white people” and “die cis scum”, preferably tagged for things like “racism cw” and “cisphobia cw”. This is because I believe in the concept of safe spaces for competing access needs. The same holds true here.

So I’m not sorry for being honest about my emotions, or for confronting my fears.

Do you know what it means for an emotion to be unendorsed vs endorsed? Because I think a lot of your upsetness stems from there-

Unendorsed is when you feel or think something, but you actually know it’s completely wrong. Like, if you really like ice cream you might think, “There is literally no one in the entire universe who doesn’t love ice cream exactly as much as I do.” And then you would realize, “Well, actually, that’s completely untrue and I shouldn’t assume that everyone else is exactly like me.” But you can also realize that this thought has legitimate roots - that you really like ice cream and associate it with your grandmother - and you can also listen to it without judging yourself.

Endorsed is when you feel or think something, and upon further consideration you’re like Holy shit I’m completely correct. Like, if you care lots about ~becoming immortal~ you might think “Death is the worst thing ever and we need to put it at the top of our list of Stuff To Cure.” And then you would think back on this and realize “Yep, death is definitely the worst thing ever.”

My hatred of black people is unendorsed, but I’ve investigated it and realized it’s a pattern-matching defense mechanism in reaction to having been abused, or at least severely mistreated. I wish, anon, that you would stop dismissing my experiences with abuse as minor. They were not. They aren’t an excuse or a logical reason for hating black people, but they are significant and they are an emotional reason. I am not perfectly logical; I am affected by pattern-matching and bias just as much as anyone else.

I have clearly stated that I don’t endorsedly blame black people as as whole for this, and I have no idea where you would have gotten that interpretation.

If you’d give a woman abused by a man some leeway with her misandry, then you ought to do the same for me. (Also, note that I use this framing because I think you, anon, will be most compelled by it, not because I’m ignoring the degree to which women abuse men, which is comparable in scope to male-on-female abuse.)

I however do endorse my hatred of Her, and I endorse pride in my ability to recognize my emotions and dictate my own morality.

Ultimately, it was extremely important to me to be able to admit to and reclaim and to be proud of this pain; and to recognize the fear and hatred while also committing eventually eliminating my own antiblack racism. And that brings me to the next point, which is that-

I think at the root we agree on something quite important: we both want to have an end result of me not (unendorsedly) hating black people anymore.

I don’t know what to do, but I’ve gotten some suggestions, mostly along the lines of “find black people who aren’t extremely into sj and who are generally kinder people, and become friends with them”. This is a good idea, since it would decrease my threat assessment when I see black people so that my emotions are more in step with reality. Kind of like exposure therapy.

I could also try to establish thought patterns that automatically appear whenever I start on a fear/guilt/shame spiral. I’m going to try to do that sometime soon.

I also disagree with your statements about what I can or should not do.

I am in fact able to value black people, as you can see with my willingness to do things for black people like “calling members of Congress about police brutality” and “donating money to some kind of cause” and “donating money to AMF”. If I did not abstractly value black people I would not care about their civil rights and lives.

You’re correct that my fear of blacks could create a bias against listening to them. However, now that I recognize this bias, I can try to correct against it by e.g. seeking out black perspectives for reading and consideration. For example, right now I’m reading Sister Outsider, by Audre Lorde, and I’m not only passively listening but also trying to engage with and evaluate her arguments. (It is a very interesting book.)

Again, I want to become stronger! Tsuyoku naritai. I want to be able to stretch myself and to become less scared of black people. I want to be able to take risks on my own terms, and to take care of myself while doing so. (This is relevant to e.g. the dignity of risk and the ability to set your own boundaries.)

I want to help social justice, real social justice. And I think that I could handle it /if/ it was safe- again, it’s like exposure therapy, a controlled environment with people I trust, who deserve my trust. Unfortunately, there is a certain dearth of communities like this that I can access right now.

Finally, you say that I think that no one can criticize me for my racism because it’s due to scrupulosity.

In some sense, this is in fact true. I do not support criticizing people for talking about their unendorsed emotions/feelings. If you want to vent about my unendorsed feelings, I would suggest that you do it in a space that is not my blog. If you want to eliminate my emotional racism, then you ought to find an actually effective way. Ignoring and guilting myself for it didn’t work in the past. Meeting more black people who aren’t abusive, however, might, as would removing myself from situations with Her.

In another sense, however, I am happy to engage with criticism if it is logically sound and moderately polite, as I am doing now. That doesn’t mean I won’t dismiss it, but it’s also not like you’re not allowed to or like I’m being unkind to you for criticizing me.

In yet another sense, I welcome criticism of my endorsed racism. I just don’t think that I’ve been endorsedly racist lately?

Not sure if you had something else in mind.

Anyway, thanks a lot, anon. I mean this sincerely- I appreciate your effort and your goodwill towards me. :)

#Anonymous #asks #therapy mention cw #racism cw #reverse racism cw ////////////////#cisphobia cw /////////#misandry cw #sj #effortpost #about her #follow silver-and-ivory for more scrupulositous whining #also my current blog theme is not displaying the readmore >.>

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craftsguide · 5 years

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How a Creative Hobby Can Boost Your Mental Health

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How a Creative Hobby Can Boost Your Mental Health

” The world always seems brighter when you’ve just made something that wasn’t there before .”~ Neil Gaiman

A few years ago I wrote an article about my own experience with bulimia. The piece was published by several different media channels, and some time afterward I was interviewed by CNN.

It was the first time I had publicly, and explicitly, spoken about that particular part of my journey. But the desire to acknowledge and address the emotional effects of my experience had been participating for some time.

Prior to writing the article, I hadn’t felt ready to lay myself bare in such a direct way. However, I instinctively is recognized that I needed a means of self-expression that would allow me be talking about what I’d been through without being quite so specific.

That’s where creativity came in.

I began utilizing photography as a style of carrying everything I was still too vulnerable to verbalize. It was a beautiful revelation for me to realize that I could share my thoughts and feelings in an abstract style. I could pour my ache into the creation of something new. This was a crucial step in my recovery.

I’d begun binging and purging as a route to avoid my feelings after the breakdown of my wedding. I had fallen out of love with my husband, and I was carrying a tremendous amount of remorse inside me, constantly feeling as though I’d failed my family and friends by not to be allowed build my relationship work. I disliked myself for walking away from my wedding, for daring to want more.

I was also dealing with intense pressure at work and financial stress, all of which had left me feeling as though everything was out of control.

Bulimia had given me the illusion of control, but it was also a way of penalise myself for not being able to stay in a relationship that everyone else expected me to be content with.

Mental health issues are often accompanied by feelings of disgrace and guilt. We tell ourselves that we should be able to handle everything, that we shouldn’t be placing additional burdens on our loved ones. It’s a self-destructive cycle that has the potential to send us spiraling.

Although creativity doesn’t act as a magical wand, it does give us an opportunity to take a breath and gain a greater understanding of what’s going on internally. We can use creativity as a means of translating ourselves to ourselves.

Photography became a lifeline for me. I could capture texture and darknes, play around with light and motion. I could communicate some of the darkness that was still haunting me, but instead of succumbing to my feelings, I was able to build something from them.

I also began to use poetry and creative writing as tools to help me channel my emotions. The personal value of this was enormous. In creativity I had a friend, a means of telling my own narrative in my own style, and a source of strength and supporting that I could rely upon to be there for me.

Here’s how a creative hobby can help us cope with mental health issues :P TAGEND 1. Creativity reminds us that we have the ability to effect change, and it also helps us be more present.

When we are experiencing mental health challenges it can be easy to fixate on the fear that there won’t be any lighting at the end of the tunnel. When I was dealing with bulimia, I would obsessively weigh myself every morning and each night. If I were away from home, or in a place where I didn’t have access to a bathroom scale, I would feel a sense of rising panic. I couldn’t imagine a hour when I would be free of the need to control my weight.

Immersing ourselves in creativity can help us believe in our ability to heal, grow, and alter because we are actively participating in the production of something new.

Whether it’s baking, gardening, painting, dancing, sculpting or any other creative pursuit, we are taking an idea and breathing life into it.

This not only helps to keep our focus on the present moment, thus alleviating future dreads, but it also devotes us the additional benefit of shaping and impacting an outcome through our efforts.

When we make we are combining imagination and resourcefulness. We are seeing an objective outcome and then taking action to make it happen. This adds to our personal skill set and emboldens us to have the same courage in other areas of our life.

Whenever I’m revisited by old demons that threaten to topple me, I create something. Anything. The act of the creation of assistances me to re-center and focus on my abilities, rather than obsess about my perceived shortcomings. It also helps me step outside myself, change my perspective on my challenges, and remember what’s truly important.

I recently herniated a disc in my back and was unable to practice yoga with as much ease as usual. As I lay on my mat at home one morning, feeling frustrated at my body for failing me, I began to slip into some old self-talk about not being good enough.

But then I noticed the pattern that the sunlight was projecting on the wall beside me. I took my phone and snapped a photograph. As the sun shifted again once more, I was reminded that nothing is static and everything is always changing. My energy automatically lifted.

Creativity teaches me about trust and impermanence, and also expands my sense of awareness. The simple act of witnessing and photographing the moving illuminate was enough for me to remember that each day is full of beauty. I don’t want to miss any of it by wasting my energy on criticizing my body.

2. Creativity enables us to process some of what we’re feeling, without the intensity of putting ourselves under a microscope, and it can also help us meet our needs.

We’re not always ready to closely examine every experience. We’re not always comfortable talking things through, or wading into the depths of our ache or trauma. But we need to work through these feelings, or else they’ll lie beneath the surface, limiting and controlling us.

Creativity can offer us a safe space in which we’re able to release some of our emotional weight without over-analyzing. We eliminate the scrutiny but still receive the benefit of self-connection.

When we’re able to connect with what we’re genuinely feeling–whether it’s anger or regret or disappointment–and then channel that into a creative project, we are less likely to engage in behaviors that are numbing or harmful. Which means we actually work through the feelings instead of only distracting ourselves from them.

Creativity can also be a compass. It’s a way of identifying an inner need, and then permitting ourselves to meet that need.

Perhaps you are craving more vibrancy or flavor in your life. Being creative might entail prefer bright, bold cloths to make a clothing item, or being experimental in the kitchen with new cuisine.

And just as creating something from nothing can help us believe in our ability to create change in other areas of our lives, session some of our needs through creativity can empower us to meet other needs–the need for self-care or boundaries for example.

When we’re struggling with mental health issues, it’s easy to minimize or forget our needs, but this only prolongs our healing. Creativity helps us trust our hunch and follow our instincts. It isn’t inevitably a substitute for therapy, but it can play a pivotal role in helping us build confidence and resilience, ensure that we can both work through how we’re feeling and take good care of ourselves.

3. Creativity enables us to connect with others and construct community.

Common mental health issues such as depression or anxiety can lead to social withdrawal and isolation, increasing feelings of loneliness and heightening the body’s stress responses.

Creativity is a wonderful way to connect with others. Social media platforms provide us with ways to share our ingenuity and trigger dialogue with people who have similar interests. When I first began blogging online I was amazed at how quickly I was able to become part of a supportive community, many of whom I’ve since met in person.

Most libraries or community centers offer group arts and craft classes. These are fantastic opportunities to establish local connects and circle with others. I recently attended a free creative statue workshop at the New York Public Library. I has no such previous experience and my creation was far from perfect–none of that mattered. It felt astonishing to come together with other people and stimulate something.

We are all creative beings. Experimenting with different media can be a wonderful way to find out what triggers pleasure and brings convenience. You don’t have to be an expert. Remember, perfection is not the goal; you’re simply inducing your world a little brighter.

My journey with ingenuity has given me more than I was possible to have anticipated. It may not always change external situations, but inwardly there’s a switching, every single time. An easier breath. A blank canvas and a fresh start. A reminder that I can begin again and again, as many times as necessary. And sometimes that’s all we need to be okay.

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