#<- brain chemicals are all fucked up rn

[ghostxraven]

me at 4 am massposting mcr because i literally thought i would swoon like a victorian gentlewoman if i ventured on here before i stopped trembling like a chihuahua 🤝 all of you guys, also, apparently

#pi’s personal #y’all can just GO on social media when something earthshatteringly lifechanging happens? and not die???? #if i step on social media immediately after smth like this it’s like a cartoon explosion and i blow up like i stepped on a land mine #obviously im not NORMAL right now but we’ve moved past the catatonic crying in parking lots in the pouring rain phase #<- not an exaggeration or a joke. sorry to the staff who asked me if i was okay and i was like no actually im not and then grinned #and started crying again #<- brain chemicals are all fucked up rn #this is you on 1. mcr new music (biggest change & therefore possibly worst thing to happen to an autistic brain) and 2. no bipolar meds

[princeanxious]

.

#hi yes i cant be the only young adult that has no fucking clue what to do with their life right? #not even playing the ‘haha same’ card rn but genuinely actually no idea what interests me ‘career-wise’ #‘i’m just worried about you. what to you want to do with your life?’ LIKE #FUCK I DONT KNOW I STILL GENUINELY NEVER EXPECTED GETTING THIS FAR #i dont like *anything* specifically enough to want to base a whole life on it. #i dont. *love* things #outside of art anyway. and we already know art aint a viable career in america unless u grind like hell- #-and let me tell u i do not love life enough to grind like hell just to live off the biggest thing that gives me joy #because then it would stop giving me joy #like once upon a time i thought i might do good as a baker and now that i know i cant eat gluten most food is ruined for me #i hate food and making food. eating is a chore and i do not enjoy it. i gave up baking. #like. there are more examples but every avenue i’ve tried to take that i like has failed me in a way that sucks all the joy out of it #having a career feels meaningless to me. going back to college just feels like a pointless and indebting endeavor. #am i just depressed? is my brain just still way off base chemically? #it’s pissing me off and stressing me out honestly. #luka vents #delete later

[gayboybeetle]

my fire alarm ran out of battery and went off in the middle of the night, so im about to go to my post-op appointment with two hours of sleep and a migrane being like. yes i am so normal, tell me how normal i am, for the love of god

#my me hurts. emotionally but also so physically #i haven't had my antidepressants in a week !!! for the love of god feed me #i know the appointment is in four hours. but thats basically the same as four minutes i cant do anything #my antidepressants are also my anti-anxieties so im a little bit strained #and i just remembered they also help me sleep better. that explains some things #i honestly dont know if i ran out of them or lost them. so thats cool #and ive been taking them on and off for the past few weeks bc i dont have structure in my life until thursday #which is when im off med leave and i go back to sensory hell #i really need a new job methinks #anyway yeah my brain is trying to suffocate me i think #qnd all i can think about are the new anti trans laws being passed #bc im like. i hope i dont have to move to canada. i dont know shit about fuck over there #ive never even been #but hey worst case i can like. maybe crash on my friends couch #i have two (2) people who would prolly let me do that. one lives a bit farther out tho #anyway! i live in a blue state so im probably fine. but i can feel my heartbeat and hear birds. so you can imagine the stress im under #i got 2 hours of sleep and then 12 hours of sleep and then 2 hours of sleep in the last three days so im completely wrecked fucked rn #i did find an elk ribcage a couple days ago and i took a couple ribs so thats giving me chemicals in my brain rn #whoagh. my tummy rumbled. i forgot it can do that #my migrane from yesterday was bad enough to fuck up my tummy so it seems like its doing better #although i just remembered i had to do breathing exercises for it 20 min ago so i take that back actually #mmm i bet i can convince my wife to go to starbucks with me and buy an overpriced croissant..... mmmmmmmmm #i am going to surprise my wife in an hour by giving him so many kisses when he wakes up #he'll probably be concerned but i will be happie!! habby!!!! hooray!!!!!!! #yknow maybe i can go to sleep. i mean. if i can forget about what this post was originally about i can forget about whats making me anxious #ah fuck wait i remembered. damn #nah its ok ill forget it in a ittle bit #i hope the nurse looks at me and goes yep youre so normal and gives me a little kiss on the head. and a lollipop #i hope its the same nurse that gave me anesthesia she was very nice to me #milo.txt

[milo-is-rambling]

Thinking about drinking again want to be home alone forever that’s called moving out idiot get a job lol thanks brain anyways where’s the vodka

#I will drink soon I know I will but not 2nite #sleepy tired tonight but that’s good I need to be tired to sleep cause my brain has been evil with all the trauma flashbacks recently #I got like three hours of sleep last night and I’m exhausted rn but can’t sleep #I just feel like shit and I hate my incredibly accurate and vivid memory rn #great for writing horrible for living my life #me and Sylvia Plath like this fr 🤞 #I need to die or sleep already I am miserable and only getting worse but I am also applying to jobs and becoming more of an actual person #while actively descending into madness #haha yeah anyways swag swag swag I think I might be going into a bit of a depressive episode and trying so desperately to get out of it #before it’s really started but it feels like the world is crushing me and there’s nothing I can do #I need to get back on my meds fuck that will fix me why are my chemicals so fucked up forever ugh #I will be mentally I’ll all of my life I just need to deal with it but god the violent thoughts are never ending and I need to tear #someone apart viciously or write poetry about a wolf #that will fix me #okay bye #going to go try to write or sleep or cry maybe #fuuuuuuuck I wanted to post this but now I’m on post limit cause my stupid reblogging ass fuck me I hate myself okay bye ugh I’ll schedule #this for midnight #I wrote this at nine thirty btw

[comradecowplant]

I've been feeling Insane and it's no wonder why, for some stupid reason I bought the 2mg nicotine gum for my grand endeavor to kick smoking/vaping... at this point I'm too far down the 2mg road to go back to 4mg-- we're in The Suffering, and we're gonna Suffer through until the process is done-- but jesus christ am I having an awful time mentally lately, not to be ~dramatic~ but very very fucking depressed and the passive ain't feelin' so passive if ya know what I mean. It's "so miserable I'm physically incapable of performing coping mechanisms/soothing exercises, even the bad short cut coping mechanisms" mode. Bad time folks, it's a bad time!

#dont smoke kids for fucking real #its been more than just kicking the nicotine that has me down but the chemical fuckery is making it all 1000% worse #i cant even play sims bc my brain cant handle shit not working right #and sims 4 is incapable of running without fucking up every 2 minutes which i simply cannot handle rn #i cant stand being around myself but alas still haven't figured out a way to avoid me 🙃

[teaboot]

Yo I haven't done it in forever so I forgot that working at a sex shop gives you superpowers

1. The We-Vibe Tango is a low frequency and fully waterproof rechargeable bullet vibrator that we used to sell for about $150. A new model came out about a year ago so it's on sale now online for $47. Can confirm that shipping is discreet and they have a really good warranty, just keep the packaging.

*(I'm not sponsored to say that and nobody is paying me rn, it's just a legit good deal.)

2. There are essentially three bases used for lube: Water, Oil, and Silicone. Oil breaks down any materials other than glass or metal, and Silicone breaks down Silicone toys and sometimes condoms. Water is safe for everything but tends to dry out, so people don't like it- but if you add water or spit, drying water-based lube will slick right back up.

3. If your water-based lube has given you any itching, tightening, or burning sensations, you probably have a chemical sensitivity. Obviously everyone has different preferences, but my number one recommendation is Water Slide- it's a super reasonable price compared to other lubes, it feels natural, it's incredibly gentle on the skin, and it doesn't stain sheets.

**(Again, I'm not being paid for this. By anyone. At all. I'm just sick of hearing people come in and tell me they don't use lube cause it hurts, or that they're using fucking coconut oil in their vagina. Please, God, don't put coconut oil in your vagina.)

4. A lot of massage oils use almond oil to suspend other ingredients, and warming products sometimes use cinnamon. Always, always, always check people's allergies.

5. You can buy toys off cheap sites if you want, just be wary of quality and ALWAYS read the product description. I personally wouldn't buy anything that isn't Silicone, stainless steel, or glass, because unlike jelly, plastic, "fantaflesh", and Silicon, (which is NOT Silicone!!!) They are non-porous, sterile, and don't melt in contact with each other. This means that as long as you clean them properly and don't use the wrong lubes, they will not hold bacteria or break down, which makes them safe for both you to reuse and your partner/s to share. (And to switch between front door/back door, so long as you wash before going back to front.)

6. Cotton and polyester bondage rope are cheap and great to practice with. Silk sounds fancy and is very strong but be advised that a lot of silk rope is "Silk(TM)", not actual silk. Read the product description. (I personally am reluctant to spend more than about $2 per foot for mass-produced synthetic rope, but could be persuaded to pay more for ACTUAL silk, nylon, handmade ropes, or especially attractive colors/patterns/textures.) You want your rope to be at least as thick as your thumb and layered to avoid lacerations, and taut (not stretchy) to be sure you're in control of how much pressure you're putting on.

7. Choking someone by pressing on the windpipe is painful and inefficient. If you want to, stay very, very light, as it's a very delicate area. If you want a head rush, press down on the sides of the windpipe, just below the corners of their lower jaw. You will feel a pulse there. That's the carotid artery. It carries oxygen to the brain. Pressing there will allow them to breathe, but will still "choke" the air going to their head. It's faster and painless. Only hold this for 3-4 seconds if you lack experience. It takes just under 15 seconds to make someone pass out from a blood choke, and after that you risk causing *permanent brain damage*. If your partner passes out, release pressure immediately and keep their airways clear. If you're the one being choked, know that your only warning will be spotty vision and a dizzy sensation. Communicate with your partner/s and for the love of God, do your research first. I'm not a doctor. Please God, please do your research.

8. Don't reduce blood flow to any part of the body for more than 20 minutes. This includes cock rings. Take a break for an hour between uses.

9. Most 'dick pills' are just a stimulant, a mild vasodilator, and a placebo. Usually mostly caffeine. They are not worth $20 apiece. Take a minute to meditate, have a hot shower, drink some black tea, have a coffee, go for a run, whatever- you'll get the same effect. And no, there is not a single ethical and legal sex shop in the country that can sell you viagra. You would have better luck on Facebook. Do not buy viagra on Facebook.

10. There are no "male toys" and "female toys". Your only limitations are safety and creativity. If youre sticking something into something else, just make sure everything is clean, not too big, not sharp or abrasive, and can be taken back out.

11. If something "goes missing" in your vagina and you panic, you muscles will tense up and it'll it'll harder to get back. Relax and stand up. Wait a minute. Chill. Calm down. Jump a couple times. There's nowhere for it to go and worst case scenario, I promise the emergency walk-in has seen something weirder or worse in the past hour or so.

12. You cannot return toys that you buy and don't like and I swear to God if you come into my store with an opened product and try to give it back I will lose my shit

13. Actually while I'm at it, people who work at sex shops are more often than not not sex workers and even if they were, it would still not be appropriate to flash or grope them or ask them "what they use", I will run you over in the fucking parking lot

#Sex education #Information #Body health #Not for work #Yes I will take questions please ask questions just let me know if u wanna be anon in the response

[chisatowo]

Asuka <333333

#rat rambles #band posting #I am rotating her violently in my mind rn #gotta love how I accidentally enhanced her stuff in my mind with my toyama mom hcs #also asuka in my aus is funny to me because its two heavily traumatised asukas who have like a billion regrets in regards to kasumi and #then theres sci fantasy au asuka who's biggest worries in life are trying to confess to rokka and trying not to go full mad scientist mode #the second she finds out rokka is a weird fish person #does not help that they brough some powerful chemicals from the sea that dont rly exist on the surface since shes mostly a chemist #just like asuka walking in on rokka out of disguise and instead of being like wtf shes just like be normal abt this be normal abt this be n #ako is not helping with her attempts to be the normal one in the family since shes fully human but is still fucked up anyways #its also funny imagining ako and rokka meeting toyama mom cause in this au I do think shed mess with asuka a bit more gnfkfn #just like her being like ah lemme show you guys some baby pictures and asuka being like goddddd mom stoppppp #but like she pulls out a scientific journal and the pictures are just of a crappy looking laptop #toyama mom just sharing baby stories but theyre all just like boring as hell programing technical talk #and asuka is still acting all embarrased and mad abt it even though ako and rokka in no way understand anything #also after ako finds out asuka is a robot she probably bugs her so much asking abt if she could like connect to the internet and stuff #and asuka has to scoff at her and stuff to deflect from the fact that she super can connect to the internet becauae she doesnt want ako to #try and ask if she could download and play amongus in her brain #mainly because she probably actually could and she knows if ako actually asks she wont be able to resist trying #I went off on a whole tangent oops and its 2 am so no one will see this either rip #I think my sci fantasy au asuka jokes are very funny and everyone should just know them /j

[euijoosorangeslice]

Turned into the Mafia's Maid (part one)

warnings: kidnapping, cursing

You were in a new city, being originally from a place farther from where you are now: a distant, desolate, hole in the wall. You had your occasional event, but there was already a built community. You always felt like an outsider.

Though, you have noticed one thing. This mysterious looking, cat like boy has been staring at you awfully hard. You went to the corner store (almost every day, you can barely cook), grabbing all the snacks you wanted from the shelves as your makeshift dinner. You put your phone and your apartment key down on the counter, grabbing a hot dog and a frozen dessert.

When you went to check out, grabbing your phone and heading to the counter, you noticed there was a guy staring at you. You didn’t think much of it, since you were a foreigner to the area. “23.56, ma'am.” The cashier spoke in his usual monotone voice. Damn, you really just spent over twenty bucks at a corner store. Either way, you handed the cashier your cash, turning to stuff your money into your pocket. Then and there you noticed that the boy’s eyes were locked in onto your figure.

When he noticed that you’d seen him, he immediately disappeared into the aisles. Weird, but okay. Still, you’re new to the area, he’s probably just a little confused since this city doesn’t get much traffic. You grabbed your bags and left, walking slowly down the street while listening to rock music. Your music paused due to the city’s shitty connection, and that’s when you heard hurried footsteps behind you.

On instinct, you turned around quickly. But no one was there. Starting to freak out, you clutched your taser in your hand tightly, speeding up your pace. The music continue, making your heart beat faster. Should you run? What if they chase you? Is there even anything there?

So your pace turned into a light jog. Your apartment is only a few minutes away, just turn the corner and full send. You hit the corner, looking behind you before you started running like a maniac. Sure enough, you saw a tall man in a hood and all black behind you. Fuck. You quickly turned on your heel, running as fast as you can. You ripped your earbuds out of your ears, heavily breathing as you snapped your body around the corner of the pillar outside your apartment.

You lurched forward, slipping and scraping your exposed knee against the gravel. Hissing in pain, you hobbled up and kept running. You heard rocks kick up as you ran, your brain clicking. He was chasing you, only a few feet behind you. Shit.

You ran into the dim corridor, the place unlit and run down. Elevator or stairs? Fuck, no time to think! You took a sharp right turn, your shoes clicking up the cement steps. You heard the door open behind you, going up to the third floor. By the time you reached your room, you heard the stair door open. Oh god, your keys. In your purse or in your bag, maybe your pockets? “There you are, my dear.” A condescending voice started from down the hall. You fumbled with your pockets, before it hit you.

You left your key at the store.

“Looking for this, sweetheart?”

His voice was angelic, smooth like a creamy spread over toast. “No need to run. Just tryna give you your keys back.” You still maintained a distance between the man, who removed his hood. “I’m Nicholas, nice to meet you. You are?”

“Y/n. Give me my fucking keys you perv.” You shouted, Nicholas taking careful steps toward you. “Got it. Here.” He reached out, placing the key in your palm. You turned to go into your apartment, feeling him tug your body backwards as a rag was pressed against your face, doused with chemicals. “Sorry princess, you were just being so difficult."

----------------

//next

yeahh soo.... im in my wattpad era rn but atleast itll get good soon.

#&team imagines #&team #&team x reader #&team smut #&team hard hours #titmm

[wh0refornikolailantsov]

“Please tell me you know how to defuse a bomb, not just make them.”

For Wylan x Reader?

Bestie and I are at war rn so heres another one

Fever Pitch - Wylan Van Eck

Content Warnings: Explicit Language. Canon Complaint Threat And Violence. Not Beta/Proof Read.

Wylan is wide-eyed, and it reminds you of the way Kaz had once said he looked like a silk-eared puppy in a room full of fighting dogs, you'd never really seen that until now.

"We don't have long, and if this goes wrong," Wylan presses his hands together, "things go really wrong."

There have been moments in your life when you've not been sure if you want to kiss Wylan or shake him by the shoulders and ask him what the fuck he thinks he is saying. In this moment, you feel yourself leaning towards the latter. "You know what you're doing?" You ask.

He tilts his head to the side and slightly raises his shoulders, as if to shrug at you, but he changes his mind part way through the gesture. "Wylan," you say, voice pleading. “Please tell me you know how to defuse a bomb, not just make them.”

"Theoretically," he starts, his speech picking up speed as his nerves get the better of him. "But I have never had a cause to test the theory. I know how this was put together and I know how to take it apart, but I have only ever done that when they're not active, and this is very much active and the chemicals are extremely volatile and although it's very much as science, sometimes this specific type of science can be unpredictable and if it's one of those times, or worse if someone has not constructed this right, I am basing my knowledge of someone being competent enough to put this together in the first place. Kaz seems to think I am the only acceptable option in the barrel, which does not fill me with confidence regarding the construction of this device, and then again we have no idea if it was even constructed by someone in The Barrel, or even in Ketterdam. This could have been imported, I mean it doesn't look like it was, but I am not an expert on foreign exports of demolitions, I am barely even a demolitions expert at all."

"Would you rather Kaz referred to you as a demolitions hobbyist?" you ask. The question is rhetorical but that in the stress of this situation seems to go straight over Wylan's head.

"Yes," Wylan says, "but really for my comfort I would rather Kaz didn't refer to me, at all, but that seems to be off the table, but what is on the table is a very active, very dangerous bomb and I do not feel equipped enough to handle this situation."

"How likely is it you're under selling yourself and your skills?" you ask. Wylan tilts his head again, this time from side to side as if rattling the question around in his brain.

"Possible but I am not really feeling up to rationalising right now," he admits. You nod, looking at the boy, those puppy eyes looking back at you. Your heart is racing faster than it has in days and you're not sure if it's proximity to Wylan or to the bomb that is making you so nervous.

"Right, what do we do, theoretically?" you ask, looking at what to you looks like a bunch of materials.

"We need to neutralise the heat source, if this is what I think it is," he says.

"How would we do that?" you ask. Wylan looks around.

"Anything cold, if we mess with the heat source it won't be able to ignite even if the chemicals interact, in theory."

"Okay, and what if you're wrong?" You ask, reaching for the metal bottle of water in your bag.

"Then we prematurely activate the explosion and all die," Wylan says. You nod.

"Okay, those seem like polar outcomes," you admit. Wylan looks at you and the scales swing back in the other direction. You want to kiss him, you definitely want to kiss him. And hells, if this goes wrong you're not sure you'll have another chance.

"Exactly," Wylan says.

"Hey Wylan," you say, eyeing the bomb. "We might die."

"We might," he admits.

"Is now the worst time to tell you I have been thinking about kissing you since Shu Han?" You ask, eyes on the bomb. He looks back at you, and he looks like he is smug, as smug as Wylan has ever gotten.

"Is now the worst time to tell you I have been thinking about kissing you since Fifth Harbour," he replies.

"You kept that one quiet," you say, stepping closer. "I am not normally good at quiet."

"I've had a lot of practice," he admits.

"I am going to kiss you now, if that's okay," you tell him. He laughs, leaning in to kiss you first. You tuck one hand against his neck, pulling him closer while you use the other to dump the cold water onto the bomb and hope.

Time slows to a still and Wylan kisses you, it lets you forget about the bomb, about the mission, about everything. You just want to stay right here.

"There is really not time for this," Kaz says from the doorway, "what part of defuse the bomb and get out went over your heads? Fuck it, I don't want to know."

Kaz's words separate the two of you in record time and Wylan gets a chance to look at your decision making. "It worked," Wylan says, staring at the now very useless bomb.

"I never doubted you," you say, eager to get away from the contraption no matter how defused it seems to be.

"You could have gotten us killed," Wylan says, "you kissed me as a distraction from nearly getting us killed."

"False, I kissed you because I thought it might get us killed, but I didn't want to get us killed and I trusted you and your knowledge."

Wylan looks like he wants to say much more, but he knows he doesn't have the time. "We are talking about this later," he says.

You crack a smile. "So there is a later?"

"Come on!" Kaz calls back.

#shadow and bone #grishaverse #six of crows #wylan van eck x reader #wylan van sunshine #wylan x reader #wylan van eck #wylan hendriks

[poryphoria]

bunch of neurodivergent/disability/whateverthefuck you wanna call these angled crackpot hcs bc fuck ya life (my crackles uses hymn/gore/rot/chirp thank uuuu ^_^)

touch adverse to strangers, flinches & winces whenever someone chirp doesn't know bumps or touches hymn. needs a lot of personal space, hyperventilates & struggles to breathe in crowds or in general uncomfortably close proximity to strangers

however gore is also BADLY touch starved in an intimate or friendly way. loves to cuddle, hold hands, hug & lean on ppl. craves body heat. would probably be healed if someone just laid on hymn like a sandwich for an hour or so

hates eye contact but loves to stare at people when they're not looking. not for malicious purposes hy just finds people fascinating

acne crazystyle bc rot can never stop touching & picking rots face & body 🔥🔥🔥🔥 hys got it all over hys shoulders and back too, sometimes on hys thighs. dry skin aswell bc hy hates the sensation of lotion/whatever oily shit ur supposed to put on ur skin to make it Not do that. patchy like a lizard 🔥🔥🔥🔥

severe stomach issues & food sensitivity 🔥🔥🔥🔥 gets horrible stomach cramps from stress & anxiety. Stressed and anxious often. god bless. gore's also lactose intolerant 🔥🔥🔥🔥

has trouble expressing gratitude- feels a lot of emotions very strongly but hy's rarely able to actually express or articulate them. on the equal opposite end rot tends to break down into tears whenever rot tries to express frustration & anger, frustratingly enough

CHRONIC PAIN NUMERO UNOOOOO 🔥🔥🔥🔥 Walking Hurts! Standing Hurts! Why does it hurt? Only god knows! would probably benefit from a cane. frequent back pain as well occasional mystery hand pain. also gets period cramps REALLY FUCKING BADLY to the point that they usually leave hymn bedridden for a day

anxious stutter & hy tends to mix up & get stuck on words, especially when hys brain is moving faster than hy can talk.

mimics voices & speech patterns, especially those of the people hy likes/is close with. does silly voices to hymnself. often Gets Stuck doing said voices. Condemned to the bit

in a similar vein, has been told that gore is inexpressive/"too flat" so frequently that gore now overcompensates heavily by exaggerating hys voice & gestures in order to get hymnself across

has mild dyslexia, mixes up directions frequently, Very Bad at navigating

chronically bad memory issues that were exacerbated by the dissonance poisoning. Sticky note.... Save me sticky note with appointment written on it.... Save me clipboard full of important information I will not remember otherwise.....

sensory ordeals chirp despises: dust/powder on hands, being in close proximity to live bands, the taste of smoke in food/grilled meats, any smell that is very chemical-y in nature (formaldehyde and latex are sort of exceptions but they're on thin ice.)

has a very difficult time discerning between platonic & romantic affection, and honestly doesn't rly gaf about the difference either at this point. love is love and rot has so much of it in rots heart

source: all of these came to me in prophetic visions. i probably have more but i cant remember them rn You're welcome thank youuu

#pory turgles #madcom #madness combat #dr crackpot

[two-red-lungs]

I'm telling u rn everytime I stalk look at your acc and just all this eddie content I feel at home, one with my people, I just love the shit I see and everything u post ily and you're doing great but also to add to this -

Imagine Eddie hiding @ Reefer Rick's place yk the boat thing and you're obv there with him to keep him safe and Jason and his goons are hunting Eddie cause of all the alligations and he's yk losing his shit and somethin about him with the broken beer bottle ready to pounce on anyone makes you want to pounce on HIM so you basically tell him to keep quiet while he's whimpering and moaning softly as you suck his dick, and he's like worried to get caught but at the same time he finds it so fucking hot because you're like "Look at me, baby, look at me, pretty boy" and he just whimpers and lets out the pretty boy moans and eventually Jason just leaves and shit and Eddie just goes ballistic and begins to thrust in to your mouth begging you to let him fuck you and how pretty you look with your cheeks filled up with his cock I- AM FERAL 👹👹👹👹

YOU GET IT YOU GET IT YOU GET IT YOU-

How does it feel to be the ONLY PERSON CORRECT ABOUT EDDIE???

NGL you’re 100% on the money seeing Eddie all weird and panicky and ready to defend himself absolutely Did Things to me so I can totally envision this happening (fans myself)

Your take on it is LITERALLY JUST PERFECT so I’m gonna AU a bit

The car door slams out front and there are distant voices: men’s voices.

Eddie hisses out a “shit” and drags you down with him against the wall underneath the boathouse window, free hand clutching the broken bottle.

You can literally hear his heartbeat from inches away, feel his hot breath on your face, how tight and ready his expression is, coiled and prepared to spring at any second.

His fingers are so tight on your forearm, crushing you against him, so you can feel his body heat and jesus, a girl just can’t help herself right? There is only so much temptation one person can be expected to resist.

Really, it’s his fault you feel this way. That sort of thing demands a punishment.

When your hand starts slowly, softly, like whisper-softly palming him through his tight pants he looks at you like you’ve grown a second head, opening his mouth to speak. You clap a soft palm over it.

“Shh. Wouldn’t want us to get caught now, hm?”

Physical touch is kind of a chemical overload for Eddie: he gets real stupid, real pliant, and real needy. So crushing him up against the wall, pressed between stacks of tarp-covered boxes, is easy.

He is literally huffing like he’s running a marathon the second you get his cock in your mouth, and every time you swallow around it he squirms: his knee hits a box with a thud so you use both hands to pin him in place (which is absolutely just making him harder)

He has no thoughts. Brain? Gone. His entire world has narrowed down to your tongue on the silky head of his cock, focusing on wanting to thrust up into your wet heat even while your painful grip on his hips stops him.

He’s chanting “fuck, fuck, fuck” in a wheezing whisper, jumping and shivering even harder when one of Jason’s goon’s rattles the boathouse lock, calling to his friends.

And you just stuff a messy bundle of fingers into his mouth, pads pressing down on his tongue. He cums mutely, back arching on the wall, literally while Jason is peering in the window and scanning the empty boathouse/the untarped boat, you two just out of sight.

The dude has no idea that right under his nose Eddie “The Freak” Munson is getting the goddamn soul sucked out of him.

“Pack it up, boys. We got bad information.” You hear Jason say only inches above both of your heads. You’re still holding Eddie’s cock in your mouth, sucking so gently on the end and feeling his entire torso shake in overstimulation under you. Still he keeps quiet. Such a good boy, keeping quiet.

Only when the car engine turns over and drives away again do you give him reprieve, pulling fingers from his mouth and watching his chest heave, pulling yourself up to head height to drag sweaty strands of hair away from his face and croon accolades.

“Good boy, look at you, you did so good for me Eddie, holy shit. Kept so nice and quiet. My pretty, perfect boy. Taking orders like a champ.”

He just looks up at you with wide-blown pupils and cheeks so flushed with arousal they’re splotchy. “You’re fucking insane.” He says with a grin. “God, I love it.”

THANK YOU FOR SENDING ME THIS ASK ILY

#LORD HELP ME #minors dont look #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson smut #stranger things imagine #Eddie Munson #my writing

[lovejaime]

gimmie jamito and aribedo meeting hcs

"Huh? Whaddya mean 'peabrain'?!"

Jamito + Aribedo meeting

Headcanons

In the events of Teyvat;

It would be in Mondstadt or Sumeru, definitely not Inazuma

Honestly it took a lot to make Itto leave Inazuma after everything that had happened but we promised to help out the Traveler when we can.

They might need brawns and brain, Itto being an Oni having the biggest brawn but definitely not the biggest brain means going for someone else

The smartests couple they know? Ari and Albedo.

So they would meet officially through the travaler, Itto not handling not being smart while Jaime struggles to not yeet him into the sun being quite amusing to the smart couple

They didn't even think they are a couple until after a long day of whatever helped Traveler, sitting in their camp or home, Itto gently pulls Jaime to himself and hides himself in her neck.

This ofc bloomed the idea of double dates in the ladies, which their partners had no choice but to attend.

Ari showing Jaime how Mondstadt had changed, or teaching him about Sumeru while Albedo keeps proving that Itto is stupid.

Jaime is orginally from Mondstadt, german heritage go brrrrrr, but left for Inazuma after receiving their electro vision in a search for answers

Why electro? Why him at all?

This being way before the Vision Hunt Decree, allowed rather smooth travel but upon arriving in Ritou they were greeted with... beans.

Beans were being thrown while the people chanted, "Fortune in, Oni out!"

It surprised Jaime that the one nation having Onis, hated them after years of peace. It honestly pissed her off.

So promptly he walked through the control, picked up a half broken jar of beans, pushed passed a tall man and threw it straight into some old bitches face.

"Shut the fuck up, you racist cunts!"

Sometime after that, sitting by the sea, the mans nap was interrupted by quick and loud steps. Without second thought, they let the danger approach before kicking away it's leg and pinning it to the sand.

Which proved difficult given that the man she had pinned was almost twice her height and simply sat up while whining.

"Man you pack a kick, shorty..."

An Oni?

In the events of 'The Chemical Formula of Love';

To be honest? I failed chemistry-

Jaime would one day silently approach Ari, holding out his phone which read 'Non-Vocal rn, I heard you're good at chemistry?... I am failing and would appreciate any help I could get'

During this Itto and Jaime are a couple already, having gone to the same highschool and now stuck in the same collage. He went on through a sports scholarship while Jaime was just good in highschool

One day Jaime would bring Itto to one of their study sessions, "This is my boyfriend, Itto this is Ari the person I told you about." "When you said smartest I thought you meant Albedo? Isn't he known for that?"

Needless to say he got a smack for being rude and sat whining while the smart people studied.

But even if at the time Ari and Albedo were a couple, neither Jaime or Itto would personally know Albedo past "That's the smart boy, right?" until a group study session or double date depending on who is failing what(Itto and everything/j)

Itto often forgets his own popularity and strength, so it could also happen that he pushed or pulled Ari or Albedo while trying to get past all the people.

Hearing someone complain abt her boyfriend, Jaime would become defensive until quickly realizing her man is a dumbass and apologizing in his place.

#lovejaime #Itto��� #{Jamitto♡} #{Aribedo♡} #{TCFoL}

[wrenhavenriver]

top 5 books for you too! also, top 5 video games and top 5 movies, if you would like :3c

heeell yeah! top 5 books:

Salvage The Bones by Jesmyn Ward - an incredibly lyrical and deeply sad story of a family in the days leading up to Hurricane Katrina. i read it for the first time at a very shitty time in my life and the sibling relationships especially punched me directly in the heart. a tough read on many fronts (definitely look up/mind the content warnings if you have any "hard no" topics in your books) but the power and beauty of jesmyn ward's writing is something else.

Catch-22 by Joseph Heller - one of those rare high school assigned books that actually made an incredibly lasting impression. i'm glad 17-year-old me got all those reality checks about *checks notes* the horrors of war, the hollow uselessness of nationalism and being convinced to die for it, the absurdly circular reasoning that props up systems of power and the incompetence of the people at the top of them, the ability of bureaucracy to drive you to sheer sobbing madness, financial systems being wildly arbitrary at best and a fucking scam at worst, *takes breath*,

The Long Walk by Stephen King - look, I find most of Stephen King's work deeply annoying, but this one fucking hits. A Hunger Games-esque premise that's about self-destructive urges and toxic masculinity as much as it as about the actual, you know, ritualized dystopian death march. also the camaraderie that forms between these teenagers even in the most hideous of circumstances is so charming and funny and sweet. also also it's just, like, really gay (peter mcvries you mad bisexual disaster).

The Secret History by Donna Tartt. Sorry.

Anything by Octavia Butler really, but Dawn has a special place in my heart. The detail Butler put into all the different ways an alien species would be, well, alien to us--biological, linguistic, the makeup of family units, understandings of gender and sex, etc--and her description of humans as intelligent but highly hierarchical, and how these conflicting qualities could very well lead to our destruction...the hugely messy power dynamics not only between aliens and humans but among humans themselves...there's just so much to sink your teeth into, and it's only the first fucking book in the trilogy!

much more briefly because i'm giving myself eye strain, top 5 video games:

this is another one of those things that seems to shift every time i'm asked it but there are two (2) that will very likely never be budged from the list and those would be: have i mentioned this game called dishonored 2012 dev. arkane studios maybe one or eighteen hundred times over the last ten years; and bloodborne babey!!!

feeling like i need a zelda entry on here rn but i can't decide between majora's mask or twilight princess

fire emblem: awakening set me on the terrible path of anime chess obsession and i'm much less mad about it than i should be

also need a sengoku jidai media entry on here but i can't decide (x2) between sengoku basara or nioh which is hilarious because they are WILDLY different in tone. the duality of man

oh shit that's at least five? ask me again in a week and i'll have at least three different substitutions lmao

favorite movies:

the handmaiden. adapting fingersmith to 1930s korea is galaxy brain levels of genius and hideko and sook-hee are peak romance

saw pan's labyrinth for the first time at like. age 14? and it chemically altered my brain and introduced me to guillermo del toro's work and made me feel a lot of horrifying things. 10/10

need a ghibli entry on here but can't decide (x3) between princess mononoke and howl's moving castle, vote now on your phones

lord of the rings: the two towers. saw it six times in theaters when it originally came out and it's still my favorite of the series. can pretty much watch it by just closing my eyes at this point.

favorite disney/pixar is tangled. "i see the light" is also peak romance. wait what if hideko and sook-hee sang i see the light to each other

#askbox games #boghermit

[mindstriker]

listen I'm too tired to explain my entire shitty rogues alliance AU rn all you need to know is that crane has a begrudging agreement to occasionally help bruce when he calls him in as part of their truce negotiations and this leads to him actually being in the batcave at some points cooking up nonlethal chemical weapons and the like

anyways point is I didn't really write this AU with the batfamily in mind (more one of the universes where batman is a solo act vigilante-wise but still works with a team (Lucius, Alfred, Gordon, particular version of Oracle, etc.) but imagining this scenario with nightwing around is really fucking funny like hey dad can you not invite the lunatic who tried to pick my brain that one time to hang around in the batcave still wearing his fucking scarecrow suit and making uncomfortable points about the fact that you recruited me to fight crime as a child whenever I get too close to him

#not even gonna consider a universe in which red hood is around jonathan would be fulla holes the moment he set foot in the batcave #jonathan crane #bruce wayne #batman rogues #batman au #should i make a tag for this? #fuck it yeah i am. #mindstriker rogues alliance au

[velvetpaku]

tagged by the vivicious nd funny @foxvelvet to list my top 5 songs rn ^w^

1) Pain Dealer - Psychonaut 4

im nothing w out my dsbm and this song has been keeping me sane soooo badly.

2) Torn Apart - Avatar

my melodeath sweeties <3 my back gave out as i was lip syncing and dancing to the hook of this it was funny. my bestie and i both sharing a mega Avatar hyperfixation fn its very sweet.

3) Wanna Be a Star - Dorian Electra

Fanfare came out in october and im still obsessed over that freaky enby weirdo that album was everything and this song. encompasses my soul. so dearly. closely. I LOVE IT.

4) Not My Type: Dead as Fuck 2 - Motionless in White

i give head like a zombie too :3

5) Spice Up Your Life - Spice Girls

neil patrick harris doing a musical number to this rewired my brain and was the best thing in doctor who in the past 6 yrs i love that gay weasel

honorable mentionnnn to Demolition Lovers - My Chemical Romance i started listening to I Brought you my bullets WAY more in recent times and its so amazing screaming all we are is bullets i mean this in the shower makes me feel like the main character i adore that album

im taggingggg @xxz0mb13zxx @cindersinmoonlight @queen-of-bel @rei-oohashi-appreciator @alissssixx no pressure moots TwT i just wanted 2 tag sum1 ^w^

[vioisgoinginsane]

About Silvio's Romantic End

Ohhhhh the difference between the two is that Silvio commits to the villain act in this one.

Yalls like angst huh

Are you guys sure that this is the BETTER ending? Like in the DramEnd i was already like "okay.fair enough. I guess you started redeeming yourself. I see why yall like him even tho i could not forgive him" by chapter 22 but here ??????????? He's even worse! It's all an act and he's in deep shit and I guess that's pitiful but man. The negative rizz on this man. I wanna kiss Gil. I could be kissing Gil instead rn yanno? Ugh. He's right there.

"I could have never fallen in love with rio" COULD BE ME BITCH COULDN'T BE ME

This game's whole life hangs on getting to suspend my disbelief that you cannot get over some guy and silvio's just not doing it.

I know what jin is saying is on the game's theme of ~T R U L O V E~ but i am so not convinced that you couldn't move on from Silvio. I know it's her first love but like- my first love was terrible too and I can testify that yeah you can just move on eventually. PLEASE GROWN SOME SELF RESPECT GIRL YOU COULD DO SO MUCH BETTER. silvio if you don't fucking do something that's at least supposed to be redeemed by the end of this- i am officially starting the hunt down with pinch forks and torches.

Oh and everything I say is hypocritical cuz I somehow still like gilbert.

#

Silvio: *follows me to my room even tho i obviously don't wanna see or talk to him*

Me: if you wanna talk stay 6 feet away from me cuz I feel like i could strangle you with my bare hands rn if you get too close!!

#

Omg omfg they are BOTH SO FUCKING STUPID BOTH OF THEM

Omg. The only one who hates silvio more than I do is silvio........

#

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME

They're tryna tell me that "yeah it's cuz emma is always just kind to people and refuses to shares her burdens that having a guy that she doesn't mind screaming at got her to loosen up and share her true feelings" ARE YO UFUCKIN KIDDING ME????? BRAINS????? DO YOU HAVE ANY??????

Rio 😭😭😭😭rio who loves her so much he just wants her to be the happiest person in world no matter who the one who can make her happy and she can share her true feelings and rely on is even if it's not him AND YOU'RE TELLING ME TO SOMEHOW NOT FALL IN LOVE WITH HIM!?!?!?!!??!?!!!??!!

K but wasn't there a tactic like this in Abuse 101 now that I think about it??? Cuz he shouted terrible things at her till she started crying but once she started crying he pulls out a handkerchief and tries comforting her, clumsy and crude as he is. And don't get me wrong, I did not miss the inner narrative of all this. That silvio's hurting himself in this process too, and it's not like he's doing this sequence with malicious purpose of tying her to him like how abusers do (*COUGH* unlike how someone else might try to do*COUGH* self awareness won't save either of us ) it's just when you zoom out of the situation this still looks VERY bad.

And he did it like this to rio too! Altho Silvio was sorta trying to teach him to at least stand up for himself,,, if he did it like that there's no wonder rio ended up with complicated feelings about him, including hatred. Understandable hatred.

"The person I love will probably be someone who will make me cry" yeah. And my eyes are dry af rn. Again. This is gonna be so hypocritical when I can bawl my eyes out over gilbert if I just think about him too long. So again it's not like I totally believe that kinda ache isn't possible. I don't fucking know what the brain chemicals are doing.

Oh also silvio ADMITS that it's actually more like he's the one wearing to collar. That's one way to put it.

Me: *tapping gilbert* oi. Did they just trauma bond?

Gil: seems so.

Me:... Just as you planned or what?

Gil: who knows :)

#

Rio is ME again cuz he's literally like "STEP THE FUCK UP AND HAVE THAT CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT ALREADY" cuz YEAH. THIS *gestures vaguely* AIN'T GONNA DO.

Also not enough carlo so far. -120/10

The worst part is that the dramatic was already better...

#

Ah there the fuck it is!! Silvio's reception!!! Finally picking a fight with his dad!! A FOUR WAY ALLIANCE!!! I know there's a couple pf routes where we get something like that done but it never fails to amaze me.

P. S. Instead of bringing up Rio's kidnapping and putting Rodolite under scrutiny at the summit meeting, silvio brings up the alliance agreement instead. His dad will be furious cuz in this scenario benitoite doesn't get as good a trade deal as of they signed exclusively with Obsidian. And also there will always be the "better" options for Obsidian that they just conquer them all instead of playing buddy buddy so there's the fear of that but The King just straight up planning to surround to Obsidian soon for "better terms* yah. That just stupid. Retire already. I don't care Whether silvio or rio takes it just don't leave it to emidio.

Gil!!!! He made Luke make him a FEAST full of honey treats!!! To celebrate the alliance(??)!!! And he's NOT sharing any with Silvio!! That's kinda just funny XDD

Cuz Obsidian wouldn't just agree to the same trading terms as everyone else, silvio had to give gil separate tariff, that gil then RANKS UP even more and silvio even says he's gonna pay from his own pocket.

Gil: you might end up losing your whole forture if you're not careful.

Me: *waving it off* He can get another one.

(That's essential what silvio says too)

AND THEN AND THEN and this gonna make the silvbert shippers (read: vivi and spoom) go insane cuz gil sits there (cheek in palm , elbow on the table, as he does. if I had a coin–) and he's like "i was right. Even with all your money you are still lofty and virtous. Sorry I said I was disappointed in you." And silvio's like "wtf" and gil's sitting there, omnious music playing and its the "all according to my plan" villain reveal and I guess it's supposed to be evil or something?????? —Cuz he manipulated silvio, rio and emma and now they got an even better deal than before—But I'm sitting here like "omg.... H... He believed- NAY he KNEW silvio would be virtuous??? And that he ultimately couldn't turn his back on the one person in the world that didn't hate him even at his worst??? The one person he ever met that's just honest and good and (i have no idea how) honestly just enjoyed his company??" Omg gil. You wing man.

Gil's so much nicer than me, cuz I think I might have accidentally broken the little self esteem silvio had remained cuz as God and Tumblr is my witness, I hate that guy and I've had no faith in him.

And then even after the agreement gets gil's approval, there's the issue if the Obsidian Emperor will agree and Gil's like "I can do it. You went to a great deal to show me that are sincere so I'll show you that i am too" and I'm like. I smell plot. Going on over there.

*sniffs gil*

Gil: what are you doing?

Me: I'm tryna see if I can smell death on you–ah.but i don't mean the people you killed. For once.

Gil: *catches my nose* stop that.

Me: darling, I am more unreliable than your average fortune teller.

(If a fortune teller told him when he will die, he'd probably kill them, tho he would appreciate the heads up.)

#

Getting what i asked for in the worst way possible: silvio is scheduled for torture and execution cuz he did something good for once 🙃 (the feministe blood in me might scream for murder, but that doesn't mean I'd give in)

Just to be clear, The King of Benitoite stomped his foot on silvio's head in a very cliche villain way.

And just so we're clear, even if I don't like silvio, it is always okay to piss off your father, stage a rebellion, a coup, or an upstage, steal the throne. Whatever. He sighed up for this when he had children.

OH MY FUCKING GOD. EMMA. WHQT THE- THEU ARE STUOID THEY ARE BITH STUPID THEY ARE BOTH SOSO STUPID WTF

k so, I kinda already knew this, but rio hatched the plan : Operation You are my fiance now so shut up asshole! (Omg rio. Rio. You are too good for this world. They don't even deserve you)

So now the king must let silvio go cuz he has to take responsibility for the rumor about the two of them (thanks clavis) And 'taking her first time' (first KISS. 'But they don't need to know teh specifics' oh right. I do remember that kiss. It was a traumatic event as far as *I* remember)

Anyways.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN I ONLY SEE CARLO NOW THAT SILVIO'S BACK IN BENITOITE AND "so basically hand over the throne old fart" AND HE ONLY SHOWS UP TO HAND IVER A PIECE OF PAPER!!?!?!??! THIS ENDING SUCKS

Pros: Silvio FUCKING FINALLY manages to buy and gift her a dress she actually likes!!!!! I hope he bought her a different choker too. I can't look at that wretched thing.

At there it is. The "you were always special" cuz. He's fooled around with shitty women before but for some f reason his virginity grows back when it comes to her touching him.

..... I still don't buy it. I just don't. The suspension of disbelief is not suspending.

I was 2 points away from getting the epilogue and that's FRUSTRATING but the preview makes it sound like just smut not lore flashbacks too altho i can't tell for sure idk. Someone tell me if you know.

#a certain shitty jangling dog