subtlequeues

[subtlequeues]

Can someone explain to me why my life is suddenly falling apart? Help?

#help

[subtlequeues]

Hey. I only come on here to post depressing stuff.

My husband has BPD. So I try to be careful about what and how I say things to him. His therapist suggested to him to call his ex girlfriend to get closure on something that incessantly bothers him. He immediately rejects the idea.

Fast forward to last night/early morning.

I didn't know that he has not come to bed. At 5 a.m. I hear him talking loudly on the phone which he only does if he's drunk. I step out of the room and see what was once a full bottle of whiskey now completely gone and hes on the phone. Obviously with his ex. Now, I know he does stupid stuff if he's drinking but this was a new low. I completely disagree with calling the ex thing because instead of getting closure, all you're doing is stirring up old emotions into new ones, creating a new thing that needs closure. Its an endless cycle.

Anywho, he tells me to go back to bed because I do not want to hear what he is saying. Excuse me? My effing house too. I would not be as upset if he had just TALKED to me about calling her. I would have set some ground rules. Nope. Just totally disregards me completely and starts talking to the only person that makes me feel like I cant compete. 3 freaking hours he was on the phone. Or more! Who knows! Why didnt I do anything? Have you dealt with someone who has a mental disorder AND is completely out of it? He's currently asleep and I am a slew of emotions. I have severe anxiety and OCD and I'm just making myself feel sick.

We had plans today to go have fun out of town. Well, screw that now. He's going to have the worst hangover and he'll sleep past noon cuz he was up all fucking night.

The ONE thing I was looking forward to is ruined. I feel lost, broken, betrayed, shattered, uneasy, and plain fucking angry. But hey, he'll play his excuse and I will just sit here and feel numb for months. It's fine.

#bpd #mental disorder #anxiety #ocd #personal

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Yes.

#pnw #Bedford #marionberry

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Disney Hero-Villain Faceswaps

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Reblog in 30 minutes and all of your greams will come true

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Almost my husbands birthday. Wonder how many of his exes will try to make contact him to say "happy birthday" this time...

#that time of year again #memories #not THAT insecure #I will kill a bitch #personal

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A vicodin, muscle relaxer, and 100mg of imitrex later, I think my migraine is gone. I may be able to go to meeting after all after missing Sunday.

#recurringmigraines #cervicogenicheadaches #migraines #imnotreallyapillpopper

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So apparently there exists an enzyme deficiency of the enzyme called Aldehyde Dehydrogenase 2 or AHDG 2 (like I can pronounce that) which is an important enzyme involved in breaking down alcohol. If not broken down properly, acetaldehyde (organically found in some food, but a poisonous byproduct of alcohol metabolism) accumulates in the body and causes your face, neck and shoulders to break out into a red, blotchy, itchy nightmare. People who have the deficiency should also watch their diet so as to consume too many foods that naturally contain acetaldehyde and avoid a high sugar diet as this is linked with certain types of cancers. Only way you can tell you have the deficiency is the red hot rash and appearance after drinking alcohol and/or gene test. Why did I write this all at 1:30 am? Because I'm still itchy! The last few times I consumed just a tiny amount of alcohol, I was overcome by this weird, itchy, HOT, hive-like rash within seconds of drinking and I drink seldom once a month, if that since they make my migraines worse. Pay attention to your bodies people.

#ADHG2 #personal #reaction #what is happening #alcohol #intolerance

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I love it when my things get hacked. 🙃 so I had to delete some things off my page. Sorry to those who saw some things.

#peace #wtf #ihardlyevertumblranyways #whythepillowhumping

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A lot of people ask me what my biggest fear is, or what scares me most. And I know they expect an answer like heights, or closed spaces, or people dressed like animals, but how do I tell them that when I was 17 I took a class called Relationships For Life and I learned that most people fall out of love for the same reasons they fell in it. That their lover’s once endearing stubbornness has now become refusal to compromise and their one track mind is now immaturity and their bad habits that you once adored is now money down the drain. Their spontaneity becomes reckless and irresponsible and their feet up on your dash is no longer sexy, just another distraction in your busy life. Nothing saddens and scares me like the thought that I can become ugly to someone who once thought all the stars were in my eyes.