stuff-i-write-for-fun

[stuff-i-write-for-fun]

MOANING MYRTLE

Part 5

The girl who never got to grow up…

WARNING: MATURE THEMES ! BEWARE ! MENTION OF DEPRESSION AND VERY DARK STUFF !

When he entered his dormitory, his whole body felt tired and numb. Draco felt the need to stay alone, to go to his bed and fall asleep, to block out the world and bury himself under the covers.

Draco took a deep breath.

Somehow, he managed to fight off the urge to lie down.

He made his way to his private toilet and splashed cold water on his face to get himself to wake up a bit. Draco was lost in his own thoughts so he didn't notice that he had left the door open...

He had forgotten about Pansy.

"Hey Draco ! What took you so long ?"

Draco sighed as he saw her. A part of him wanted to say hi back, to greet her the way he usually did, confidently and with a hint of arrogance...But now, he was so tired, so mentally exhausted that he couldn't even muster that.

"I was in the bathroom." Draco said, his voice hoarse and low.

He felt her stare on him, he knew she was probably wondering about why he didn't look like he used to.

But he didn't have the strength to play a part tonight.

She giggled—as if he had said the most silly of things.

"Come on, Draco ! You can talk to me…What were you doing with that snivelling little moaning ghost, huh ?" She sat on his bed and crossed her legs.

Draco's whole body tensed. He had no energy to deal with Pansy's sarcasm and teasing right now.

"I'd appreciate it if you dropped the subject..." Draco said, avoiding her gaze.

He was too tired to face the fact his feelings had been exposed. He just wanted to go to bed, get some sleep and forget this whole evening ever happened...

"Is it about the Dark Lord’s plan ? Does it involve how you are going to kill Dumbledore ?" She smirked.

Draco had enough.

He was already having a shitty day (or night, really) and he didn't have the patience to deal with her humor.

"Shut. Up." Draco replied quickly and bluntly. He looked at her straight in the eye with an expression that could kill.

"I do not wish to talk about any of those things right now. Is it clear enough, sweetheart ?"

Pansy pouted and Draco had to restrained an eye roll.

He just wanted rest.

Pansy sighed before smirking and standing up to wrap her arms around him.

"Do you want me to…help you relax ?"

Draco's blood pressure rose through the roof as his entire body tensed again.

No.

Just no.

He had reached his limit and he needed her to stay the hell away from him.

So he pushed her away.

"No. I do not want you to do that...And stop that stupid flirty crap, I'm not in the mood for it..."

Draco crossed his arms and turned his back to her, trying to block her out.

Pansy sighed and started untying his tie.

"Come on…You’ll feel so much better after it."

Draco's eyes flickered as he saw her undoing his tie.

He froze.

She couldn't be serious.

Draco's heart raced like crazy as his body was taken by an uncontrollable reaction. He hated how his body reacted to her touch without his conscious permission.

"I said no, Pansy..." He gritted his teeth as he heard his voice faltering.

"Ssh…" She kissed him.

Draco's whole body tensed even more as Pansy kissed him. His heart started pounding hard against his chest as his mind turned blank. Every rational part of him was pushing him away from her. But his body wanted something completely different...

He hated how much he craved attention.

Draco realized how pathetic he had become, he was weak and weak men got used.

But still...

Draco let Pansy keep kissing him for the longest time...

She chuckled.

"…Thought as much."

And with that…she closed the door.

Draco sighed in defeat.

He knew what was going to happen tonight.

He'd spend the night in bed with Pansy, kissing and touching her, hating himself for being weak.

Draco hated that he was like that.

He hated how she could manipulate him so easily and that he let her do it every single time.

He hated how he would fall back into her trap...

And he hated how much he was craving her in such unhealthy ways...

But…he was weak. And when Pansy kissed him again…he didn’t resist.

Draco let go of this fight immediately as she started kissing him again.

His pride was screaming at him to stop.

But a voice deep inside of him was telling him to surrender to Pansy, to simply give her what she wanted.

His will was weak.

His will was broken.

He was broken.

Draco could not resist.

Draco could not do anything…

…

The next morning:

Myrtle was waiting for Draco. She was giggling to herself as she thought of how she had been able to hug him…to actually hug him. She was the happiest she had ever been as a ghost.

Meanwhile:

Draco entered his bathroom with a frown, tired and irritable. He rubbed his eyes and sighed as he went to wash his face.

He noticed that his reflection showed signs of a fight: His hair was a little messy, his tie was loose around his neck and there was a small scratch next to his jaw.

He sighed again and looked at his watch.

It was early morning, that was the only good thing.

Draco didn't have the energy to take a shower yet, but just the sight of his own reflection made him grimace…

Draco started rubbing his eyes again. He felt the slightest tinge of regret before he snapped out of it and frowned even more.

He still felt a bit numb, almost like he wasn’t even there.

Draco was already planning on skipping all his classes today, he didn't feel like seeing anyone around, especially in such a vulnerable state.

He let out a deep breath.

Maybe he would hide in his study during the afternoon and practice some dark magic. Or think about a way to kill Dumbledore...

But his feet led him elsewhere.

He stopped in front of the girls’ bathroom that Moaning Myrtle was haunting. Draco stared at the bathroom door for a long moment.

He had no idea why he was doing it.

He had no reason to go in there.

But he did.

So he opened the door and walked inside the empty bathroom.

The moment he came in, the ghost approached him and smiled—clearly happy to see him.

"Hi, Draco !"

She went in for a hug, but the Slytherin boy stopped her by keeping her at arm’s length. She pouted, but quickly floated away.

"No hugs ?"

She looked like a beaten up puppy.

Draco sighed when he saw her pout, he felt a bit guilty for how coldly he had brushed her off just now...But he really couldn't deal with her touching him right now.

"Not today, Myrtle. I've had a rough night, okay ?" Draco said, sounding more irritated than he had expected. He felt bad for snapping at her like that, but he didn't seem able to stop himself from doing it...

Myrtle could see that he didn’t look fine and approached him, but kept a respectful distance.

"Okay…How about talking ? We could talk…"

Draco closed his eyes and sighed. He didn't want to talk to her or anyone, really...

But in some way, he did.

Draco opened his eyes and looked at her, he could see the concern on her face. He could tell how she was noticing the shadows under his eyes...The fact he looked so tense...How much he needed to talk to someone.

"Talking is fine." He finally allowed.

She grinned and mentally cheered herself for that small victory.

"Okay ! Yesss ! Talking…"

Draco didn't really feel the joy in her expression, but he also didn't want to be overly moody either.

So he gave her a half-genuine smile.

Draco took a few steps and leaned his back against the wall, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

"Fine, we can talk...What do you want to talk about ?"

Myrtle started thinking about it.

"Hum…OH ! I know ! What’s your favourite treat ?!”

Draco stared at her for a few seconds, taken by surprise...She was trying so hard to be nice, he could tell. But that question was so sudden, he couldn't help but chuckle.

"My favorite treat, really ?"

"Yes ! I mean…I’ve been dead for a few years so…Tell me ! Come on ! Please !" She grinned. "And do not forget the details ! Details are important ! Taste. Wrapper. Sensation. Anything !" She replied excitedly.

Draco smiled as he saw her excitement.

She was so...weird.

Draco shook his head and sighed.

"You're ridiculous. But since you asked, fine. My favorite treat is caramel candy. That sugary sweet type, soft and chewy but it has to have the perfect amount of salt in the middle. And it must melt in your mouth before turning into a sticky mess, you know...The kind of mess you need a minute to clean out of your teeth."

Myrtle grinned widely.

"Really ?! And does it stick so bad that it can stay for hours ?!"

Draco's face twisted into a weird expression of discomfort and nostalgia.

"Yeah, it can stay for literally hours...And you can feel it all over the roof of your mouth, and your teeth...And once you think you've cleaned it all, you feel a tiny bit stuck in a random crevice." Draco sighed. "You really shouldn't make me remember that..."

She laughed and her smile widened.

"That’s…amazing ! You should have it all the time then ! And they you’d have so much in your mouth that you can’t speak ! Or very weirdly and nobody would be able to understand you ! Like…BLARBURGBOURG !"

She burst out laughing.

Draco couldn't help but chuckle as he envisioned her scenario. The picture was ridiculous, but somehow...Draco found it hilarious. Maybe his tired mental state was to blame for that. For once, his usual pride and arrogance was gone, for once he didn't feel the need to keep his guard up and just let out a genuine laugh.

He had to admit, it felt good.

Her face lit up:

"Was that a laugh ?! Can you laugh ?! Do it again !"

Draco narrowed his eyes.

"No." He said in a firm voice but with a smirk. "And you're not going to make me laugh again, that was just a fluke."

She grinned and poked his cheek playfully.

"I saw it ! I saw it…It wasn’t a fluke !"

His mouth twitched when she poked his cheek.

He couldn't hold his smirk anymore...

"Shut up." Draco said with an embarrassed chuckle. "Don't poke me again."

"Poke poke poke…" She kept poking him with a grin.

Draco's body tensed once again as she kept poking him in the cheek. He really hated that he was so weak-willed with her.

"Stop it." He said, but his voice lacked conviction. Draco realized that he couldn't even look her in the eyes and say it. So he turned around and faced the wall again.

She grinned before starting poking his sides instead.

Draco couldn't help but squirm when she started poking his sides.

It was annoying, but...he couldn't stop laughing.

Draco could feel his defenses dissolving, he felt more vulnerable and weak than he had ever felt before.

And he let her do it to him.

"Stop it ! Stop it ! Stop it !" He shouted, laughing like an idiot as he did...

She started tickling him instead.

"Tickle tickle tickle…"

Draco felt her hands going all over his sides, the light touches tickling him like crazy.

Draco chuckled and wriggled in an effort to stay away from her, but he was just getting in a worse position and making things worse because the corner of the wall was preventing him from getting away.

"Stop it, stop it, I said ! Stop already !" Draco shouted as he giggled like a little kid...

She grinned and stopped once she knew it was enough.

"Okay !"

Draco's laughter finally stopped after a few seconds. He was panting lightly as he leaned his back against the cold surface of the wall. His sides still tickled a bit, but he couldn't keep laughing.

"You're so damn annoying, you know ?" He said, still panting...

She grinned.

"May have been called that once or twice. Yes."

But then, her eyes fell on the scratch at the side of his neck and she frowned.

"…How did you get that ?"

Draco froze as her eyes fell on the small scratch. He had forgotten about it, the mark was still pretty visible due to the fact his skin was pale. He looked at the wall and tried to control his breathing. He had no intention of telling her about Pansy and he didn't want her to ask any damn questions.

Draco sighed and turned to face her, he needed to control the conversation...

"It's nothing, Myrtle, believe me, it's nothing important..."

Myrtle stared at him.

"…You don’t look good."

Draco groaned. He was tired of it…

"What do you want me to say ? That I had a rough night ? That I haven't slept well all week ? That my life is miserable and I'm on the edge right now because I have to kill Dumbledore and it's driving me crazy ?! Just tell me, do you actually care about my issues ? Or are you just looking for a poor soul to feel sorry for other than your own ?"

Draco was bitter and cynical.

He didn't know why he was acting like this, he just couldn't control himself...

Her eyes widened and she sniffled.

"…That was not nice."

Draco immediately felt bad. He had gone too far, he didn't mean it. Draco clenched his fists and took a deep breath. His defenses were gone, his usual cool and confident demeanor was gone.

What was happening to him ? He was acting like a lunatic.

"I know...I'm sorry." Draco forced a small smile. "Sorry. I didn't mean that. I'm just..."

She flew out of his reach.

"…Why is everyone so mean to me ? Why does everyone hate lil’ Moaning Myrtle ?"

Draco felt himself tensing up when she distanced herself. The familiar feeling of rejection and loneliness flooded his body, he didn't want to lose her. He wanted to explain that he wasn't being mean, he just didn't want her to be worried about him. He wanted to make her understand that he didn't hate her, just that he was just having a terrible day...a terrible everyday actually.

Draco let out a deep breath.

"I don't hate you, Myrtle..."

Suddenly, she was right in front of him with the biggest grin on her face.

"You don’t ?!"

Draco chuckled when he saw her wide smile. He wanted to be mad but it was impossible.

"No. I don't. I just didn't want to talk about some...personal issues that I'm dealing with right now, that's all." Draco forced himself to grin too, even though he still felt that there was no point to a fake smile.

"So yeah. No hate."

She laughed and raised her arms in the air.

"Yee-pee ! Someone doesn’t hate me !"

Draco had to admit that despite how simple and childish she was, he actually liked talking to her...Even if she got on his nerves most of the time, he secretly liked the way she made him feel like a person.

"Whatever." He huffed and looked away.

Draco leaned back against the wall, crossed his arms in front of his chest and watched her float around in silence for a moment. He was starting to feel tired again, but he also felt like talking.

So he looked at her and smiled a little.

"You know, sometimes I wonder why you stay here when not even the teachers ever visit this bathroom. I mean, this place is always empty. Aren't you bored out of your mind here ?"

She stopped floating and stared at him, the usual excitement was back on her face.

"Bored ? Here ?! Never !" she exclaimed. "Never ever ever. There are so many ways to play around, you have no idea. I watch students come and go all the time, see them do things they're not supposed to do, like...like kissing and playing Quidditch and such...And all the drama ! So fun to watch. And I get to be on the best seats for everything, you know ? I love it."

Draco smirked when he saw all the excitement in her expression.

It was so genuine.

And a part of him was jealous, because he could never be this excited about anything. But her energy was so contagious he couldn't help himself.

"So you're a voyeur, is that what you're telling me ?"

She nodded enthusiastically.

"Yes ! And an eavesdropper ! It's almost like a game, finding the right place to listen to all the juicy stuff...Like the time when Harry Potter was talking to Hermione ! And then she ran away crying because he insulted her parents ! Or that time when Fred and George were prankin' Filch. Oh, and that time when Hagrid and Snape were having an argument about something. And that one time when..." She was listing moments with genuine excitement and passion, her eyes wide with glee.

Draco couldn't help himself but crack a smile. There were moments when he found her so naive she made him cringe. But in this particular moment he found it extremely endearing.

The way her eyes shone as she talked about her memories...

And the way she seemed truly happy...

Draco didn't know why, but he was glad he had been the person listening to her today...

"You don't feel lonely here, do you ?"

Her smile faltered a little at that word…lonely.

Draco's eyes widened when her smile suddenly faltered. He suddenly realized that she never said she wasn't lonely, only that she never felt bored. He looked at her with a worried look as she remained silent.

Draco stepped closer to her and gently asked her:

"Do you feel lonely, Myrtle...?"

She didn’t answer for a moment.

He waited in silence for a few seconds, hoping she would answer him. Draco noticed that she was staring at the floor with an almost vacant look, he could feel her mind being miles away.

Finally, she answered with a light shrug.

"Dead or alive…I was always alone."

Draco felt his heart sink when she said these words. He wanted to hug her and tell her that everything would be okay, but they were only words after all.

His hand wanted to reach out, but he held himself back.

He took a deep breath and cleared his throat.

"You shouldn't stay alone, at least not here, not in this place. You should roam around the castle, get out and explore. Meet people, make friends, have fun. You're a ghost, right ? So why not take advantage of it ?"

She huffed and crossed her arms over her chest.

"I have been dead for the past 40 years…I know this castle from top to bottom. Better than anyone…"

Draco smiled slightly and shook his head. He didn't want to insist, he already said his piece, at least he tried. He sighed and leaned his back against the wall again.

"Whatever."

Draco raised an eyebrow and smirked as he suddenly had an idea.

"You're so sure of yourself…" He moved around her, and leaned back on the wall. He spoke, sounding slightly teasing. "I bet I could find something you don't know about this place."

She suddenly leaned forward, a wide grin on her face.

"That's impossible." she said confidently and crossed her arms. "There is nothing here that I haven't already seen. I've wandered and gone everywhere, I know every secret passage, every secret room...There is no way you could find something here that I don't know about."

He smirked.

"Bet ?"

She grinned at the challenge.

"BET !"

Draco chuckled and leaned forward towards her, his eyes flickering with the promise of a challenge. He straightened up and spoke confidently.

"There's no way you know how many windows are in this castle. Impossible."

She grinned smuggly.

"Easy ! 542 !"

Draco's smirk disappeared and he glared at her, his jaw hanging open.

How ? How could she know this ?

Draco cleared his throat, trying to play off the impression that she had made to him.

"It doesn't mean anything. You were just lucky."

Draco pointed his finger at her.

"There's no way you can name the names of all the staircases either. Impossible."

She chuckled. He didn’t know who he was talking to…Myrtle had had nothing better to do than to wander around the castled for DECADES. He was going to regret ever challenging her…

"There are 142 staircases ! And the main ones are the Grand Staircase, the Divination Stairwell, the Ravenclaw Tower Staircase, the Astronomy Stairs, the Clock Tower staircase…" She started enumerating them and her grin widened as she saw Draco huff in frustration as she kept on and on.

Draco's blood started to boil.

It was getting ridiculous

How the heck could she know these things ?

Did she actually spend all of her time in this castle wandering around, memorizing everything ?

He had to find something she didn't know...

"Fine then, how many books are in this castle? No way you know that."

She grinned.

"Books alone ? 5048. With manuscripts and scrolls ? 8095."

Draco felt increasingly exasperated and irritated.

He needed to find at least one thing that she didn't know, otherwise, he would look like a complete idiot and the girl would laugh at him.

He was about to snap at her, and then he had an idea. Draco crossed his arms again, his tone mocking.

"There's no way you know where Dumbledore keeps his secret stash of Bertie Botts Every Flavor Beans."

Myrtle was at a loss.

"His…what ?"

Draco smirked.

Finally.

"There, I beat you."

He felt that he was going to laugh and he covered his mouth to contain the sound.

"Dumbledore has a little jar full of Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans. He buys a lot of them every week and hides them. And you don't know exactly where it is, right ?"

She frowned and scoffed.

"You don’t know either !"

Draco chuckled and took a step back.

Finally, she finally failed. He was right, she didn't know that secret room.

Draco opened his mouth, ready to gloat about his victory.

Until...

She pointed her finger at him.

"Actually, I DO know where it is ! I've seen him get beans several times, when he's alone, in his office. I just never bothered to find out where the jar was precisely. But I could if I felt like it."

Draco stared at her. She was so annoying, she always had to have the last word.

Was she really telling the truth ? Was she lying ? Was there a way to know for sure ?

Draco's brain was working in overdrive and his patience was close to reaching its limit.

He smirked.

"You're lying. Prove it. Prove that you know where that jar is."

She opened her mouth—but no sound came out.

Draco's smirk widened when she didn't answer.

She was silent, her eyes darting around in thought.

"Well, don't give up now. Prove it. You said you know where Dumbledore keeps his secret stash of beans. So show me, show me that room," he said, crossing his arms in front of his chest, a cocky grin on his face.

Her cheeks inflated and she crossed her arms over her chest.

"I could…if I wanted to."

Draco's smile grew even bigger, he couldn't wait to see her stumble.

He was enjoying this far too much.

"Oh really ? Well, why don't you go do just that ? Right now. Prove it to me, show me that you know."

She gritted her teeth.

"Well…If I don’t know, you don’t know either !"

Draco groaned in frustration and stepped back, crossing his arms again.

"I'm not saying that I know where it is. I'm just saying that you don't know where it is either."

Draco clenched his fist and spoke with irritation in his voice.

"For goodness sake, why can't you be like any other girl ? Just, just stop being so stubborn and admit I am right or just be a stupid girl who laughs at her own hair or something."

Myrtle humphed before stomping her foot.

"I am NOT a stupid girl !"

Draco snapped.

She made him snap.

He couldn't take it anymore, the way she kept pushing him, the way she wouldn't give up, she kept arguing, she kept pushing...

"Of course you're stupid ! All you do is stay in this bathroom and ramble about people doing things that don't concern you. You’re useless, annoying...You're so ugly that all the boys run away when they see you, nobody wants to be your friend, all you do is haunt people and be a ghost. You've been dead for years ! And you're still a stupid little kid !"

Myrtle’s lower lip started quivering. Her eyes filled with tears.

"And you are mean !"

He regretted the instant the words left his mouth, but it was too late. He stared at her, seeing her lower lip quivering.

"You're right...I am mean."

Draco clenched his fists in frustration.

He couldn't believe he had said all these things he never would have imagined saying in any other interaction. He was angry at himself, he felt like a douchebag.

And suddenly, she started crying.

His heart dropped when he realized he'd made her cry.

"Don't cry...I'm sorry, I didn't mean it."

Draco didn't know what to do.

His first instinct was not to comfort her, he didn't know if he could do that. But...He couldn't leave her alone. He slowly approached her and kneeled in front of her.

He couldn't look her in the eyes, so he looked down at the floor.

She humphed and turned away from him.

"Too late ! Mean ! Mean boy !"

He took her chin and gently turned her face towards him.

"Please don't hate me. I didn't mean it, I just..." Draco sighed and shook his head, trying to figure out what he could say.

"I'm sorry," he finally mumbled.

She looked back at him and her tearful expression turned to a victorious smirk.

"You are ?"

He nodded, and despite her smug expression he genuinely felt guilty. She was right, there was no way he could pretend otherwise.

Draco smiled sheepishly at Myrtle.

"Yeah, I am sorry. I shouldn't have called you names. I was just frustrated, I didn't mean all those things."

She nodded.

"You really shouldn’t have…Moaning Myrtle is sad now. You’ve upset her…"

He couldn't help but chuckle as she said this. She was acting so dramatic it was almost funny.

"Oh come on, you're not gonna play the victim card, are you ? You're not that pathetic. You can’t be sad because of a few mean words."

She humphed again and turned away from him.

He sighed. Once again, he couldn't let her be. He gently grabbed her by the shoulders and made her face him again. Draco looked into her watery eyes, his own suddenly filled with regret.

"Look, I'm really, deeply, truly, wholeheartedly sorry, okay ? I don't want you to be sad, I was an idiot. Forgive me ?"

She grinned.

"Do you admit that you are a dunderhead ?"

He chuckled. She was still playing the victim, but somehow he didn't mind.

It was entertaining.

"I do. I confess. I'm a dunderhead. The biggest of dunderheads. The king of dunderheads. The crown is mine. Anything else you want me to concede ?" He teased.

She giggled before flying up in the air.

"I am THINKING about it."

Draco groaned and rolled his eyes. She was definitely enjoying this. Draco was annoyed at himself, because on the inside, he was enjoying it too. He stepped closer to her, looking up at her while she was floating above him. Draco's voice still had a teasing and mocking tone, but he couldn't help but smile.

"You're thinking ? You're capable of doing that ?"

She giggled again.

"Never saw a girl think before ? Must be mind-shattering news for you !"

"I've seen plenty of girls think about all kinds of stupid things like makeup, clothes and boys." Draco crossed his arms and looked at her with a mocking smile. "But none of them knew as many things as you. You're the first one who is actually smart. Even smarter than me. Which is...disturbing."

She laughed at his comment.

"So you admit I'm smarter than you ? That was pretty easy."

Draco couldn't help but grin back at her, she was impossible to stay mad at. His tone was still arrogant and teasing, but he had to admit her intelligence really was admirable.

"Yes. I admit you're smarter than me. Congratulations. Now can you please come down here, you're starting to get on my nerves."

She laughed before finally floating down.

"Why ? Miss me ?"

He smirked when she eventually flew down in front of him.

"You wish. I don't. I'm just tired of talking to someone in the sky." He rolled his eyes and looked back at her with his usual expression, his voice slightly mocking again. "Besides, how will I mock you if you're floating up there ? I can't see the despair in your eyes. I need to see it, it gives me joy."

Myrtle burst out laughing at his words. She couldn't help but nod in agreement and she grinned at him.

"Oh please, you like me. You wouldn't be so mean if you didn't."

Draco didn't know why that sentence made his stomach flutter. He cleared his throat, trying to hide his discomfort.

"Well, I may like you a little. Just a little. Don't think you're special."

She grinned and floated upside down.

"Don't act as if you don't enjoy our little talks either. You're here all the time. You could be anywhere else…but you spend time with me."

He wanted to deny it.

Of course, he didn't like her. He just came here and talked to her because...

Well, he didn't know why, honestly. Just…because. He didn't want to admit anything, but a part of him couldn't help but nod in agreement.

"Fine. I admit that I like our little talks. But don't let that get to your head. I talk to you because it's my habit, because I have nothing else to do. It’s not that deep."

She giggled.

"Riiiiight."

He groaned.

"All right. I admit I enjoy talking to you. But that's all. Nothing more than that, okay ? Don't think we're going to be friends all of a sudden, you're still a weird ghost girl and I'm still a popular wizard."

She giggled again.

"Friends…"

He glanced at her in irritation again.

"I'm serious. We are NOT going to be friends. We probably won't even be hanging out outside of here." His tone was firm and he tried to keep any hint of a smile off his face. "So, just remember that. You're only good enough to talk to and pass the time. Don't think I enjoy your company."

She hummed and pretended to leave.

"Okay then…I guess I’ll leave."

The fact that she actually started flying away made him irritated. He didn't expect her to leave, he didn't want her to leave.

She shouldn't have taken him seriously.

"Stay here. I didn't mean it. Merlin, you're annoying, you can't take a joke or read between the lines. Obviously, I enjoy having you around."

She giggled and turned around swiftly.

"YOU DO ?!"

Of course, he did.

He couldn't help but grin when she turned around so hastily. She had thought that he really wanted her to leave. For a moment, a weird feeling swept over him.

Maybe...He really didn't want her to leave.

"Of course I do," he replied with a teasing tone. It was so stupid. He shouldn't be saying things like that. Draco cleared his throat and straightened up. "But don't get your hopes up thinking we're going to be friends."

She was so happy and giggled.

"Too late…"

He crossed his arms and smirked, trying to sound like a jerk.

"Well, I don't want to be friends with you. Get it in your head."

She hummed and flew right in front of him.

"…But I wanna be friends with you."

He couldn't help but grin despite himself.

But she really didn't listen.

She was so stubborn, so annoying, so frustrating…He sighed.

"Fine. For some reason I can't understand, I'm allowing you on my friends list. Don't make me regret it," he said, trying to keep his face straight and not show how happy that made him feel.

She grinned widely and hugged him tightly.

"Yay ! Friend ! I have a friend !"

He froze. He didn't know what to do. That felt…good. But he couldn't say it. He wasn't supposed to feel this way. He hugged her back.

"Don't get too excited. That only means you're my friend. Not the other way around. I'm not your friend. I'm just doing you a favor."

Merlin, don't look at her like that, you idiot.

However, suddenly, he felt an excruciating pain in his forearm and heard a voice in his head.

Kill. Now...Kill Dumbledore…Kill…Kill...

He cried out in pain, holding his forearm and doubled in agony. Myrtle was automatically by his side, trying to see how she could help.

"Draco ! Draco ! What’s going on ?!"

Draco gasped and his hand automatically gripped his forearm. He didn't know what was happening. He felt desperate rage flooding through his veins. He wanted to scream, yell, punch something.

Kill. Kill.

He couldn't get that one word out of his head.

"Get away," he said, without knowing who he spoke to.

She looked down at the tattoo on his arm which seemed to be moving and Myrtle’s eyes widened.

"Oh no. No no no…" She looked at Draco with tears in her eyes. "Draco. Let me help. Let me help…How can I help ? Please. Tell me."

"GET AWAY FROM ME !" Draco screamed. The urge to kill was getting stronger and stronger. It was like someone was commanding him to kill, to end Dumbledore's life. Draco fell to his knees, he felt as though his mind was being invaded. Tears ran down his face in anger and fear both.

He gripped his forearm tighter and tried to hold back as much as he could.

"G...ET AWAY FROM M-ME !"

She floated away.

"I…I am going to warn teachers ! Hold on, Draco !"

"NO ! DON'T TELL THEM !" He gasped. He started to sweat profusely and the urge to kill was even stronger...

Kill…Kill…Kill Dumbledore…

"N-NO !"

She was reluctant, but quickly floated back to his side.

"Okay…Okay."

She then started thinking about a way to help him. She suddenly had an idea, she put her hand on his forearm and summoned water to contain the pain.

She felt the excruciating pain and screamed with him, so loud that the mirrors around them shattered. However, she refused to give up and held on, sharing his pain and trying to contain the suffering the best she could.

Her screams seemed to lessen the immense pain he was feeling. It was becoming more manageable with every second. He couldn't help but feel relieved that she was there, as if she was actually making a difference.

His screams slowly died down and he was left gasping for breath. He collapsed to the ground and hugged her, his body shaking.

"...What…What did you do ?"

Draco opened his tearful eyes after a moment and Myrtle smiled weakly at him.

"Told you I could help…"

He nodded, still clinging to her. He started to realize things. She really had taken pain away for him. A ghost...Had actually taken his pain away.

How was that possible ?

Draco took a deep breath and looked at her with a soft smile.

"Thank you..."

She nodded and smiled back at him.

"You’re welcome. But…Did I help you ? Really help you ?" She looked down at his forearm and the tattoo with a saddened expression.

She didn't just help him. He felt like she really did save him. Draco couldn't explain it, it was a gut feeling. Something was different, he couldn't describe it. He gently took her hand and took her wrist, looking at the tattoo that didn't hurt anymore.

"Yes. You helped me. You managed to take away the pain. I don't get how a stupid ghost can do things like that, but you did. So thank you."

Draco then glanced at the shattered mirrors.

"Do you think any teacher heard us ?"

She winced.

"Yup…You should probably go. For now at least."

He sighed, she was right.

Draco didn't want to run into a teacher and have to explain why he'd screamed bloody murder for five minutes straight with a ghost.

"Yeah, you're right. I'll take the long way around so I won't run into them. Don't want to attract attention."

He looked down at her.

"I'll be back though." he said, smiling again.

She smiled back and nodded in agreement. He took one more glance at her. There it was again, that weird warm sensation.

Draco sighed.

He knew he shouldn't like a damn ghost girl. But...He still had a stupid smile on his face as he left the bathroom.

#fanfic #draco #angst #draco malfoy #harry potter series #harry potter #severus snape #marauders #moaning myrtle

[stuff-i-write-for-fun]

MOANING MYRTLE

Part 4

The girl who never got to grow up…

The next day, as soon as he was up, Draco walked towards his common room, determined to talk with Pansy or Blaise about what was going on with him…But when he arrived, he found them discussing between themselves and stopped dead in his tracks, wanting to know what they were talking about.

"Are you sure that he is ready for this, Blaise ? I mean, Potter nearly killed him last time and..."

Pansy started but Blaise cut her off harshly.

"He doesn't have a choice, Pansy. If he can't do it, he'll bring shame over his family. Plus, the Dark Lord is not merciful, he'll kill them all…as soon as he will have killed Harry."

Draco felt his joy to be alive quickly wash away as he heard his friends talk about him behind his back. He straightened up and ran a hand through his hair in order to look a little more presentable then, he opened the door and his two friends looked at him with widened eyes. Blaise stayed silent while staring at him and Pansy smiled almost awkwardly.

"D...Draco ! The nurse said that you wouldn't be up until a few days..."

He glared at her, which silenced her automatically.

"Well, as you can see, she was wrong..."

Pansy suddenly opened her mouth as if she would say something, but Draco's look scared her and she quickly shut it. Draco took a step forward and his eyes were sharp and intent.

Blaise felt the tension in the room and backed away from him, trying to avoid a fight.

Draco spoke slowly and his voice sounded icy.

"Is there anything else you two have to say about me behind my back ?" He sat down on a nearby chair and Pansy quickly sat down next to him with a seductive smile and put her hand on his torso.

"We’re happy you’re back, Draco. Well, I'm happy to see that you are well…Now, I can at least touch you." She whispered in his ear and, without knowing why, the thought of her touching him felt wrong. He slapped her hand away and Pansy frowned in incomprehension. But, before she could ask what was wrong, Blaise dismissed her with an idle wave of his hand.

"Come on, Pansy…Me and Draco have to talk."

She huffed, annoyed to be left out, before leaving the room with her head held up high and Draco nearly laughed at the sight. Pansy was many things, but she wasn't one to agree easily. She was a proud one. He then turned towards Blaise that looked as expressionless as he remembered.

"Draco…We are worried. When will you get rid of him ? You know that the Dark Lord is getting impatient."

Draco gritted his teeth and glared at his friend.

"You think I don't know that ?! You think I'm stupid or something ?!"

Blaise was surprised.

He had never seen Draco behave like this.

He was usually so calm and collected, but now, his words were coming out of his mouth without a filter, one after the other, quickly.

Blaise swallowed sharply and looked away, not sure of how to respond.

Draco took a deep breath and continued.

"You know what ? I don't care ! I'm tired of everyone telling me what to do, what to think, how to behave."

Blaise's eyes widened a little at the sudden change in tone of Draco, but quickly composed himself and shook his head.

"No. Of course not, Draco. We simply worry about you…That's all."

Draco snickered mockingly and shook his head.

"If you were worried, you would have come visit me at the infirmary ! Instead, the only visit I got was from some stupid ghost…Truly pathetic."

Blaise frowned at that and Draco grit his teeth at the realisation of the mistake he had just made…

"A ghost ? What ghost ?"

Draco froze, only realizing his mistake now. He had mentioned Myrtle. It was just a small mistake, he didn't even realize he had done it.

"Don't worry about it."

Blaise was not fooled, and it was clear now.

"Which ghost, Draco ? Answer me."

Draco cursed under his breath and turned towards Blaise with a frown, hesitating whether to tell him or not.

"It's nothing…Just Bloody Baron who thought funny to come and nag me." Draco lied.

Blaise sighed understandingly, knowing how much the ghost could be a pain, before nodding, apparently believing him.

"The old ghost is annoying, but harmless…Surely tried to give you a good fright and get on his way."

Blaise nodded and seemed satisfied with the answer, but Draco could almost read in his eyes that his lie had not been very convincing.

Draco frowned and looked down.

"Yeah….He really tried…But don't worry…I managed to make him back off."

Blaise raised a eyebrow but said nothing and just sighed, his body language showing he still had some doubts.

Draco decided to move on to a different topic.

"When is the next meeting ? I can't miss it."

Blaise shrugged.

"I don't know. For the moment, he is only meeting with his inner circle, he doesn't want to take any risk. He doesn't want to expose too many Death Eaters to Dumbledore's eyes. But once he gives the order to take action, I'm sure he will call a full meeting."

Draco nodded.

"Understood."

He then relaxed slightly. Blaise believed him. He could feel the tension leaving his body immediately and he was grateful that his friend didn't ask further questions.

The lie had worked. At least, for now, Draco still didn't know how Blaise was going to react if he learned about Myrtle.

Draco only nodded briefly before looking at himself in the mirror, and, without realizing it, got his tie back up and ran his hand through his hair again, trying to remain presentable. But, Blaise noticed his nervousness and arched an eyebrow at him.

"Haven't seen you so self-conscious before, trying to impress someone maybe ? You're going on a date with Pansy tonight ?" He asked with a slight smirk and Draco huffed mockingly.

"Yeah. Right. No thanks."

"What, not into her anymore ?" Blaise knew perfectly well that Draco had never been into Pansy, but he still decided to tease him.

Draco took a deep breath and smiled ruefully.

"No...I'm just not interested."

Blaise raised an eyebrow, smirking at Draco's reaction.

He had been waiting for this moment for a long time.

"Oh, really ? And who is the lucky lady then?"

Draco was visibly irritated by the implication that he was seeing a girl, and Blaise knew full well why.

He couldn't wait to see his reaction when he finally told him that he was on to something.

"No one."

With all his frustration, he was barely audible and Blaise laughed.

Blaise grinned mischievously.

"Let me guess. You're seeing another Slytherin girl and you're too embarrassed to tell us…?"

Draco rolled his eyes and when ready, gave one last glance at Blaise before standing up. If only he knew…

"Stay here. I'll just go out to take a walk, I need to think of how I will…do the deed."

Blaise only nodded his agreement while getting back to his book.

"Have fun." He added when Draco was at the door and he smiled for a second.

"I will..." He answered truthfully.

Blaise stared at the door for a moment after Draco had left, an amused smile on his face; he felt like a cat that had finally managed to catch the elusive bird it was chasing.

But for the moment, he settled instead on finishing his book, taking out his wand to use the booklighting charm on it, and turning back to his reading.

Draco opened the door and saw Pansy there, she was surely listening in on them. He frowned at her and she only smiled awkwardly at him. However, he walked past her, not giving her a second glance and she suddenly started walking next to him with a big smile.

"So…Where are we going ?" She asked innocently before grabbing his arm, but he clicked his tongue disapprovingly at her before getting his arm out of her grip. He almost scolded her.

"I am going somewhere that I don't want anybody to follow me to, Pansy."

Pansy's face fell a little but she was not used to being denied, her whole life she had received whatever she wanted if she tried hard enough.

And so, she tried again, hoping that it would work.

"Come on, I just want to talk..."

Pansy's gaze was pleading, she was clearly trying to convince herself that the more she insisted, the better her chances were.

Draco rolled his eyes slightly before finally speaking in a clipped tone.

"I said no."

Pansy did not hesitate to try again.

"Well, what if I were to follow you anyway ?" She smirked, trying to act cute even though her heart was not really in it.

Draco narrowed his eyes and she had the feeling that this time, he was not going to be so indulgent.

Draco said nothing and his expression was icy. Pansy realized this, and her smile disappeared.

"...Fine. I will let you walk on your own. But I expect you to come back to me tonight."

Draco stopped for a moment and looked at Pansy. He hadn't even thought about their usual "arrangement" but when she said it, he didn't want to give it any importance.

Pansy grinned widely—satisfied.

"Okay ! See you tonight…"

Pansy was about to leave when she stopped, her voice coming out with more insistence, she didn't want to leave without making sure he'd be back.

"You promise to come by tonight, right ? You're not planning to go out with another girl, are you ?"

He rolled his eyes.

"You don’t have to worry about that…Who I am going to see barely qualifies as a girl. At all." And with that, he turned around to leave.

He continued walking until he arrived in front of the familiar toilets where he knew he would find her…He took a big breath to give himself courage before knocking on the door, not even knowing why he even bothered. He waited for a few seconds before sighing, thinking she was not there. But then, he turned around and saw Myrtle just behind him.

She yelled "Booo !" and he took a step back, nearly scared out of his mind as she giggled.

"I got you !"

Draco gripped at his heart for a moment before smiling slightly. Not bad...Not bad at all…He thought before frowning at the thought and straightening up.

"Yeah…I wasn't scared. I was just being polite."

Myrtle smiled smugly before crossing her arms and arching an eyebrow.

"Suuuure…" Her grin widened.

Draco was furious, he had not been prepared for the scare and was not thrilled about the fact that Myrtle had made fun of him.

He crossed his arms in anger and glared at her.

"Shut up, you stupid ghost. I wasn't scared at all."

She giggled.

"Right."

"Just shut up." Draco said aggressively, but Myrtle was clearly not intimidated by him at all and still kept giggling.

"Oh no, you're angry ! Did I do something wrong ? I'm so sorry…" She said sarcastically before laughing even harder, her hand covering her mouth in an artificial way to show how sorry she was.

Draco clenched his jaw and took a deep breath to calm down. He reminded himself that she was just a ghost and it was useless to get annoyed at her.

As he tried to control himself, Myrtle continued talking. In her innocent, childish voice was a hint of mischief.

"Oh no…I made the little Malfoy boy…What will he do now ?" She continued with her fake innocence and Draco couldn't help but raise an eyebrow.

"You know, I really hate you."

Myrtle smiled knowingly.

"I know…I know…You're definitely not the first and you don't even stand a chance compared to the ones who came before you…"

Draco froze at those words, anger slowly turning into curiosity.

She was right. He hated her, but there was something about her teasing and the way she spoke that piqued his interest.

"What do you mean, the ones who came before me ?" He said, and a small smile appeared on his face despite himself.

She hummed…but didn’t say anything.

"What are you doing, visiting lil’ old me ?" She asked instead.

He coughed a bit to hide his embarrassment before looking around carefully to be sure he had not been followed. Unbeknownst to him that Pansy was spying on him from behind a corner, frowning in confusion at the scene.

"What business does he have with that weeping ghost ? Is it a part of his masterplan to kill Dumbledore ?" She stepped back and shrugged. It was only a ghost after all, Draco would have told her if she was someone important…She left.

Draco made a chair appear to sit in front of Myrtle that was floating in front of him, staring. He didn't want to say that he felt uncomfortable, but he did.

"Could you please stop staring ? And before you ask, I'm here to seek answers, not to become your friend or whatever..."

Myrtle stopped and seemed amused by his reaction.

"Aww, don't you like me anymore ? And yes, I was going to ask if you wanted to become my friend. My best friend."

Draco sighed and leaned back in the chair, rolling his eyes at the fact that she had read him so easily.

"I'm not looking for a friend. I'm looking for answers..."

She seemed to be a bit disappointed at his words, but obeyed nonetheless and stared down at the floor instead.

Draco crossed his legs then looked at her.

He couldn't help but feel awkward.

She was a ghost.

She wasn't even real.

Even so, he realized that his awkwardness had to do with his own feelings.

Draco knew that Pansy would be waiting for him tonight but the idea of her, with her body, her skin, her soft flesh, didn't entice him anymore as it usually did.

Draco shook the thought out of his head and spoke with an irritated tone, as if annoyed at her presence.

"I wanted to talk to you about…" Before he could finish his sentence, Myrtle suddenly tried to reach out for strands of his hair, but he immediately slapped her hand away.

"Hey ! What are you doing ?" Draco asked and Myrtle immediately retreated her hand. It was…weird. She hadn’t felt pain since she was alive and the fact that Draco had just slapped her hand away made her smile.

"Don't touch me !" Draco spoke sharply and his irritation showed more and more. She was not only staring, but the fact that she had tried to touch him made him angry and uncomfortable.

Myrtle's smile disappeared and she took an unconscious step back, hiding her hand behind her back. She didn't want to irritate him more, even if it was hard.

And despite the fact that he was irritated, Draco could not help but notice that a single strand of her hair remained dangling in the air, the sight suddenly capturing his attention.

"…Sorry. Just got excited for a few seconds. I wanted to touch your hair. It's been a long time since the last time I saw a boy with your kind of...features ?"

Draco's irritation disappeared instantly and he found himself staring at her intently, his expression softer than before.

"My kind of features ?"

He had never been so confused. It was true that his hair was probably the reason Myrtle was staring at him, it was pure white and very delicate. He even noticed that Myrtle was not even looking at him anymore, but purely at his hair.

Draco frowned a little before laughing a bit, understanding what she was referring to.

"You mean the hair ? The color is natural if that's what you wanted to know..."

"Yes, the hair…I've never seen this kind of hair color before…It's so unusual and fascinating." Myrtle said, slowly reaching her hand forward again, but this time more carefully. She wanted to touch his hair at least once and was not ready to give her attempt up.

Draco made no effort to stop her. She was only a ghost after all and couldn't do anything dangerous.

Draco rolled his eyes lightly, the action was really ridiculous once you thought about it. He waved his hand, as a sign to her to come close, and she happily flew forward, her hands stretched to touch his hair.

Slowly, he felt her fingertips touch the strands of his hair, which remained as silky smooth as ever to her touch. Draco’s eyes were riveted to the touch of her fingers to his hair.

Draco sighed.

It was just hair, nothing more.

He leaned forward slightly to let her feel it for a few seconds.

Draco was a man used to have everything under his control, to do nothing without reason. And yet, here he was, sitting in a bathroom with a girl who died over five decades ago, letting her touch his hair.

Despite being a person full of self-control, he could not control the fact that he liked the touch of her fingers on his hair. Despite all the ridiculous aspects of this situation, he liked the feeling a little too much.

He leaned forward even more, not caring that he was letting her get near him. He knew that she could not do anything to him anyway. He closed his eyes and let the ghost touch his hair as long as she wanted, completely lost in the sensation.

It was completely absurd.

Never in his life had he thought he'd be letting a ghost touch his hair, and yet, he could even admit to himself that it was enjoyable.

At first, he kept his eyes closed and then opened them again because he noticed that Myrtle was staring at him.

When he opened his eyes, he noticed that she was much closer to him than before, her body now floating barely an inch away from his, her face inches away from his.

…He had all but forgotten the purpose of his visit.

She was studying him and her fingers became adventurous.

She smiled shyly before extending her hand towards his arm, but he grabbed her wrist. He glared at her, all amusement having left his face.

"What are you doing ?"

She seemed taken aback for a second before answering him with a small reassuring smile.

"I'm not going to hurt you."

Draco sighed.

"I know you won't."

He slowly let go of her wrist, but as he did so, he noticed that he hadn't really wanted to let go.

Draco did not want her to know how much of this situation he found embarrassing, but he noticed that he was also having more trouble than he thought in controlling his body in her presence.

"Just don't touch me again."

She titled her head quizzically at him.

"Why are you so scared ?" She asked and Draco glared at her.

"Who said I was scared ?!" He replied defensively and Myrtle only smiled knowingly.

"Don't worry, being afraid isn't a bad thing, at least, not for me. If I had been afraid the day I died...Maybe I would still be alive today ?"

He opened his eyes wide at her confession and bit his bottom lip. For once, not knowing what to say.

He hated it.

"Shut up." Draco said angrily and without thinking.

But he realized that his words were stupid. Of course, she couldn't shut up, she was a ghost, she had no control over her words. He couldn’t blame her for that…

Suddenly, he felt pain coursing through his arm and he grimaced. She noticed the slight wince of pain and she put her hand on his forearm. She frowned worriedly.

"Are you okay ?"

He nodded, but she wasn't gullible and put her hand on his forearm again before he could retract completely. He whimpered in pain and suddenly, Myrtle rolled up his sleeve before he could say no. She saw the bandages and some kind of black tattoo underneath it, hidden.

Draco froze, feeling her touch around his arm.

He suddenly realized the situation, and he realized that she knew.

She knew that he now had a Dark Mark, that he had joined Voldemort.

Draco clenched his hand into a firm fist, trying not to let his anger get hold of him.

He glared at her, trying to put her in her place.

"This is none of your business."

At first, he had tried his best to hide his tattoos, but Myrtle was too quick and had seen everything. Her eyes widened in shock and her smile instantly disappeared, now replaced by a look of sadness.

Draco did not like the look she was giving him at all.

He was used to be looked up to, admired, wanted. And now, here she was looking at him with pity, as if he was some kind of injured puppy.

Draco clenched his jaw.

"I joined Voldemort. And the Dark Mark means that I killed for him. So what ?"

She rubbed her thumb over the tattoo with a saddened expression.

"L...Let go !" He shouted but, she didn't listen and only got rid of the bandages, recognising the sign quickly and looking up at Draco with shock, but most of all, sorrow.

"Oh poor thing…What did he do to you ?"

Draco was losing control and was close to losing his temper.

"SHUT UP !" Draco yelled, the volume of his voice even scaring himself.

He was angry, he was ashamed.

He didn't like her pity, her condescending tone.

"I said shut up…You know nothing, don't you even dare pretend like you know what you’re talking about."

Draco shield his arm protectively and tried to hold back his tears.

"Why did you do that ?! Why did you want to look even though I told you not to ?!"

"I…I thought..." She stammered, surprised by his angry voice. He wanted to get up and run away but, she grabbed his arm with both hands, almost desperately.

Draco was getting angry, this was not how he wanted things to go at all. He did not want her to feel sorry for him, he did not want her to be nice, he did not care if she was shocked.

He yelled at her, the rage overflowing inside him like a dam ready to burst.

"I told you that it's none of your business, so stop acting like you care !"

He was suddenly tired of pretending.

The thing is...it was all true, he did regret every bit of what he had done.

And...It felt good to be able to talk to someone without having to hide his feelings, even if this person was just a ghost.

And deep down he hated himself for the fact that part of him wanted to be hugged. Suddenly, he felt the tears flowing down his cheeks and he didn't make an effort to keep them back.

Suddenly, Myrtle hugged him tightly.

"I do. I do…"

His body froze as he felt her arms around him, as if his body suddenly stopped responding.

But soon, he slowly hugged her in return, his arms wrapping around her tightly.

He let his head fall onto her shoulder and he cried.

But...He was surprised by the fact that he could even cry.

He had never let himself cry in front of anyone, not even in front of his own father . Crying was weakness. Yet...Myrtle didn't care, she did not see him like that. She was not disgusted by his tears...She embraced him fully, not like a scared animal who wants to hide from danger, but as if she wanted to protect him.

"Don't." He tried to push her away. But she kept holding onto him and she leaned her head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat that was beating like crazy. Draco was so used to everyone being afraid of him, of not wanting to get on his bad side, that her lack of fear was...Disturbing.

However, a small part of him liked it. A small part of him enjoyed the fact that she had absolutely no fear of him.

"I said stop touching me. Let go of me !"

He was screaming and yet, she didn't seem to care.

"I won't."

Draco felt dizzy. He was about to protest, but he stopped himself, because he realized that he didn't really want to push her away. The fact that she had no fear of him was strange, but at the same time, it calmed him and made him feel...safe.

His thoughts immediately went to Pansy.

Pansy had hugged him before.

But, it had never felt like this…

Myrtle's touch was so much better.

It felt safe…It didn’t feel forced. It didn’t feel like duty or responsibility or anything other than just…hugging.

His breathing gradually slowed down.

He felt her body pressed against his, his head on her shoulder and her arms around him.

Her hug was...different.

There was no desire to please, no thoughts about duty or other such things.

She was just holding him, in a simple and genuine way.

As if she believed it was normal to hold him, as if it was the most natural thing in the world to do so.

Suddenly, he hugged her even more tightly.

For the first time in a long time, he felt like he could breathe again.

He did not want to let her go.

He had no desire to push her away anymore.

She cried with him. She knew that he needed a good cry and the ghost held him until there were no more tears to give…He stayed like this, his arms around her and his head on a shoulder, until the tears finally stopped running down his cheeks.

Then, eventually, Draco raised his head and leaned back, looking at her.

He looked at her, searching for any hint of mockery or sarcasm in her expression. But there was nothing, just a soft and reassuring smile. When they both were silent, he finally spoke in a quiet voice.

"You're not even disgusted by me...By the things I have done..."

He sighed.

"You're not disgusted by this." He pointed to the dark mark on his arm.

She looked down and shook her head negatively.

"Nope !"

Draco had expected disgust but she had not even hesitated.

"Even though I betrayed everyone ? Even though I joined Voldemort ? Even though I killed for him ?"

She shrugged.

"I am a ghost. I don’t judge."

"Right..." Draco laughed and smiled, but there was some bitterness in his tone. "You don't really care about such things, do you ?"

Draco didn't want to admit it, but in a strange way, he felt a bit jealous.

He didn't like that she was not like everyone else, that she did not care about what he had done. He was used to everyone treating him like a monster...

He looked down at the dark mark and gritted his teeth.

"Make it disappear…"

She frowned.

"What ?"

He seemed unnerved by her question and sighed heavily.

"That…mark, or whatever it is..I don't want it. Make it disappear."

Her frown deepened.

"I can't make your dark mark disappear." Myrtle said calmly, her arms relaxing around his back. Draco sighed again as he realized that she was right, she didn't have such magic. But…he wished she had.

"Then do something...Make it fade, get rid of it in any way you can." Draco said, his tone full of desperation.

She widened her eyes slightly before chuckling a little, which made him tense up again.

"Hey ! It's not funny !"

She just smiled and shook her head.

"Oh, it’s really funny ! You really think I can make it disappear ?" She asked and shook her head in disbelief.

"I don't care if it sounds stupid, just do it ! Make it disappear." Draco said through gritted teeth, barely hiding his growing fury. He was beginning to get angry, and anger always came before sadness. "I refuse to believe that it's impossible."

She genuinely felt bad for him.

But…

"Sorry. But I really got no clue how to help you…"

He felt confused and irritated at the same time. Draco crossed his arms, his voice taking a harsher tone with her.

"Then, how am I supposed to get rid of it then ?"

She shrugged.

"Your guess is as good as mine."

He growled in irritation, the anger building up again, but she didn't flinch.

"Then, what are you even good for ?" Draco stared at her with fury. But she didn't take offence. He was upset…She only hugged him again. Draco didn’t know what to do. He didn't even know why he was getting angry when she was touching him like that.

"Fine, if you can't help me, then just stay out of my way and don't touch me ever again."

She didn’t move.

Draco felt his throat tighten, so overwhelmed by emotions it nearly suffocated him. He hated this situation, he hated her presence, he hated the fact that he couldn't get rid of her. He hated how he felt more relaxed in her presence...How he had become emotional around her.

He felt his arm trembling, but he couldn't move.

"I said, GET AWAY !" Draco was screaming, but his voice wasn't angry anymore; it was scared, scared of her touch.

"No. I can help…" She stubbornly replied and he gritted his teeth.

"I do not WANT your help !" He reached for one of her pigtails to pull on it and was surprised to nearly feel the threads of hair parting between his fingers…It was as if she was still alive.

Draco froze for several long seconds, realizing for the first time how much the ghost seemed to be real. It wasn't just a simple spirit, its hair was actually flowing and could part between his fingers like a human's.

She still had physical contact.

"Leave me alone." Draco said, his voice almost pleading, but there was nothing of the fury that he had felt just a minute ago.

Now, he was simply begging.

"No ! I cannot remove your Dark Mark but I can maybe help some other way ? Nobody ever asked for my help before…Let me try !"

Draco frowned when he noticed the desire to help in her voice, that need to be useful. That was the reason he was currently lost and afraid. He realized how similar she was to him, how she didn't want to be useless.

Yet, he was so confused. He was embarrassed.

He hated how she could affect him and he hated how much his feelings changed.

That's why he snapped at her.

"You can't help. None of this makes a difference. This is all stupid..."

She held him tighter.

"Let me try…Please. You came here for a reason. You thought I could help. Why ?"

"Because I'm an idiot..." Draco groaned and leaned his head back, completely defeated.

He realized he didn't need her to remove his mark, he knew it was impossible.

But he wanted to vent to someone who would listen and not judge him for it. He wanted someone who would listen, someone who would stay...

"I just want to vent, alright ? Is that clear enough ? I just want to vent..."

The ghost simply let out a gentle sigh and pulled him into an even tighter hug. Draco wanted to get mad, to push her away, to scream "STOP" but he couldn't.

His body refused to move and his mind refused to give the orders. He had been pushed to a point where he didn't have the will to fight anymore. He was a mess of contradictory emotions and he had no control over any of this.

Draco's eyes burned with unshedded tears. He was furious and humiliated at the same time because he was being reduced to this. Him, who always commanded, who was always in control of his emotions...was now crying in the arms of a ghost.

"Stop it !" Draco gritted his teeth and snapped at her, his voice full of anger as he tried to break the embrace.

But no matter what he did, the ghost kept holding onto him. Her arms didn’t let go. Her eyes were soft and kind, they were gentle and caring, as if she wanted him to let it all out.

"I know you want me to let you go, but I won’t. I simply won’t. Because I can help you, even though you don’t believe it. I will listen to you, I will stay with you. And I won’t let you suffer anymore..."

His whole body softened as he heard her words.

He felt her hands running through his hair, as if she wanted to soothe him in a motherly way.

His heart felt heavy as he let out a deep, shaking breath.

And suddenly, he realized he was crying again…

He didn’t say a word, but he leaned against her even more.

"…It’s alright to cry. It’s alright to feel scared." She said while letting the young man cry.

"It is NOT alright to cry. It's pathetic. I hate it..." Draco sniffed back his tears as his voice cracked. He hated showing that side of himself...He hated the fact he had so much to say. But he hated even more the fact that he had never been able to talk to anyone about it.

And now, he couldn’t control his emotions anymore. He couldn't stop crying. Draco didn't even realize when his hands had buried themselves in her pale hair, as if he wanted to hold onto something for comfort.

He felt weak and helpless.

He couldn't believe he was crying like this.

He was a pathetic mess, crying into her shoulder and holding onto her like a scared child.

"Everyone would laugh at me, they would mock me. They would say I'm weak…" He continued. Draco wiped his face with the back of his hand, feeling ashamed and angry at himself. But as he did it, he realized that the ghost’s hands were gently wiping away the tears on his cheeks.

And he was suddenly very aware of the tenderness of her touch...

Draco's whole body tensed at the realization that her fingers were slowly wiping away his tears.

Yet, the ghost didn't look away.

She didn't look at him with disgust.

She simply accepted the way he was now and showed no judgment...And her acceptance only made his tears flow even more. Draco realized just how lonely he had been his whole life and how much he had been craving this exact moment.

He felt her hands gently wiping away his tears and suddenly, she felt more, so much more, than simply a ghost. He didn't care if he would end up looking like a fool, he needed this comfort.

He moved forward and buried his head against her chest, he finally decided to let go of the tension in his muscles.

He let the ghost hug him without resistance, he let her pet his hair and wipe his tears.

He felt safe in her arms.

Draco's whole body relaxed as he felt the ghost petting his hair...He closed his eyes as he felt her comforting embrace.

He had never done something like this...Never allowed himself to be so open and...Vulnerable around someone, not even Pansy.

But he didn't care. His need for comfort had outweighed his pride so much that he simply couldn't care anymore. He felt the ghost's warmth and it was the first time he had felt something so sincere.

A genuine hug.

Myrtle smiled, but she knew she had to cut their moment short.

"Hate to break it to you…But you should probably get back to your common room now. To get some rest. Or professor Snape will come looking for you."

"Right..." Draco sighed and raised his head to look at her. He didn't want to move, he wanted to continue with the embrace, but reality came to mind and he realized he had to go...

"Yeah, I think I better get moving, I really need some sleep..."

She nodded and smiled at him.

"But…If you ever feel the need to talk or…anything. You can always find me, okay ?"

Draco felt the ghost's words hit home as he nodded.

"Yeah, I will. Trust me, I will." Then, he realized he was still hugging the ghost and slowly pulled away. "Right then..."

Draco glanced back at her as he got up and straightened out his clothes. But just before he left, he turned and sighed.

"By the way...Thanks."

Myrtle seemed taken aback for a moment before she grinned happily.

"No problem !"

Draco nodded and walked back towards the Slytherin dorms, his step light and his head filled with emotions and thoughts.

Draco had always been arrogant, manipulative, selfish, and uncaring.

But just now…when he had been with her…Draco had felt kindness, compassion, empathy...She had accepted him for who he was and didn't judge him at all. Draco had opened up about things he never talked with anyone, things he had kept to himself ever since he had turned eighteen.

He had cried like a weak, pathetic child, and she had given him a soft embrace as if she wanted him to let it all out. These emotions had been so overwhelming and so foreign to him, but she had showed him that it was okay to feel them...

Perhaps…Perhaps Moaning Myrtle was more human than she let out to be ?

#fanfic #draco malfoy #draco lucius malfoy #moaning myrtle #severus snape #harry potter series

[stuff-i-write-for-fun]

MOANING MYRTLE

Part 3

The girl who never got to grow up…

Myrtle underestimated the immensity of the castle, she had been floating for a while, not remembering where was the nurse’s office for obvious reasons and not wanting to ask anyone for directions for even more obvious reasons. But now, she was lost and was about to give up when she heard something, something other than the usual happy discussions between students.

A heartbeat…

One that she felt strangely drawn to. She followed the sound and soon found herself in front of the nurse's office. Now that she was actually here, she felt nervous…She didn't want to appear too desperate and took a big gulp of inexistant air before floating through the door in the familiar infirmary where she used to come often when she was alive, that it'd be for medical exams or just to escape her bullies. She floated around, trying to spot the white-haired boy among the many young teens laying in bed. She soon found Draco Malfoy on the farthest bed on the right and floated down next to him, his heartbeat calling her. Before she could truly think twice about it, she lowered her ear just above Draco’s chest and closed her eyes to enjoy the rhythmic sound of his heartbeat.

She could feel the steady beat of his heart, like a song, calling to her.

It was slow. Gentle. Steady.

At this moment, she felt completely and utterly calm.

And as she felt those emotions, she suddenly realized something else.

She had missed this sensation.

She had missed the sensation of listening to someone's heartbeat, of being so close to them, so connected.

She hadn't felt that way since...Him.

She shook her head at the memory before looking up at Draco’s sleeping face.

However, one of the nurses suddenly appeared and frowned at the scene.

"Wait, what are you doing here ?! This is no place for a ghost ! Shoo ! Shoo ! Go away !"

Myrtle froze and looked at the nurse.

For a moment, she did consider leaving.

But for some reason...she didn't want to.

She wanted to enjoy this feeling for as long as she could.

"I'm not hurting him. I'm just listening to his heartbeat..."

The nurse didn’t listen and still tried to swat her like a fly. She felt annoyed by the nurse's shoo-ing and even more when she tried to dismiss her with a visibly annoyed wave of her hand. She felt like an insect that the nurse would have certainly crushed under her foot if she could. Reluctantly, she straightened up and let the nurse take a look at Draco's condition.

"Is he going to be alright ?"

The nurse glanced at Draco's chart, then frowned and checked him again.

"He should be. His fever is going down and the potions are working effectively."

She frowned again and turned back to the ghost.

"I'm sorry, but I can't have a ghost in the infirmary. It's bad luck, you see..."

"Oh." Myrtle nodded understandingly. "I see…I was just checking on him. Just to see if he was going to be okay."

The nurse frowned.

"I don't see how that is any of your concerns, but…yes. He is stable. For now…"

She nodded.

"Thank you..."

The nurse frowned before getting up and glaring warningly at Myrtle.

"The poor boy needs rest, not a ghost to haunt him..."

Myrtle sighed.

"I'm not here to scare or possess him…If I were, you would be the first to know…"

The nurse only huffed disapprovingly at her before turning away and walking to her next patient.

The nurse left and Myrtle was alone with Draco once more.

She looked at him, at his calm face, at his slow, regular heartbeat.

He looked so peaceful.

She just wanted to stay here a little longer.

Just listen.

Just enjoy.

And she forgot the reason why she had come here in the first place.

She drifted a little closer and put her ear on his chest again, feeling completely at ease.

Myrtle then turned her face towards Draco on more who was still asleep and smiled at him before getting some strands of his strange blond hair out of his handsome face. She even found the odd idea that he was quite beautiful when faced up close. She wanted to see the color of his eyes that had been hooded with tears at the time he met her, she wanted to see him laugh, to see him cry, to even sit up and talk to her. Without realizing, she started mumbling, words tumbling out of her mouth while she was holding his hand..

"Stop mumbling, I'm trying to rest.."

To her surprise, the weak arrogant voice that had interrupted her in her waves of apologies was the one of Draco who had woken up a few moments ago, listening silently to her words until now. He stared right at her with some curiosity in his big blue eyes that looked so bright in the sunlight. She smiled in relief before floating in the air, twirling on herself in pure joy before shouting happily.

"He's alive ! He's alive !"

Draco's eyes suddenly lit up.

This was the most real emotion he had showed since the attack.

Draco stared at her with both fear and confusion at first, but somehow...a part of him just wanted this, wanted to believe that she was real and was not some hallucination or dream.

He blinked several times and rubbed his eyes, as if to erase the image he was seeing.

When his eyes opened again, she was still there, right in front of him.

It took him a few moments to gather his thoughts.

Draco frowned a little in incomprehension at her strange behaviour and wanted to tell her to quiet down but, surprisingly, couldn't help smiling at the notion that someone was actually happy of his quick recovery. Not even Pansy or Goyle had come to visit him…

"So, why are you here ? It's weird to see you anywhere but in that horrible bathroom of yours..."

He asked with a disgusted expression and she bit her lower lip in hesitation. She wanted to discuss what had happened yesterday night, but now, she didn't know what to say…Draco crossed his arms and arked an eyebrow expectantly at her.

"Well ? Are you here to mock me for yesterday ? Tease me about Potter nearly killing me and making me one of your toilet buddies forever ?"

She frowned at that before shaking her head vividly.

"I'm here, partly because I was worried and because of what happened before Harry's arrival...I wanted to know if you had felt it too...?"

Draco's face darkened when she said the word 'felt' as if his memories were suddenly brought back. In a way, she was touching the subject without really saying it directly.

Draco's eyes darted around the infirmary.

He didn't want anyone to see them talking like this.

"And what exactly do you think I saw, Moaning Myrtle ?"

She sighed at the nickname, guess it was back to formality then, and scratched the back of her neck in nervousness, a habit that she still had from the time she was human.

"We…touched ? Like…I am a ghost and I was able to actually touch you." She blushed embarrassingly at the word and seemed to only notice now how stupid it sounded. She floated away and stammered. "It…It was a mistake. I'm so sorry, it won't happen again. Goodbye Draco."

She then turned around to leave when suddenly, she felt a tug on her ravenclaw uniform. She turned around again, shocked by the fact that someone was actually tugging on her robe, and also how Draco seemed desperate when he nearly begged her to stay.

"No ! Wait ! I felt it too ! I just didn't want to say it first. Please, could you just stay for a while ? Please ?"

Draco wanted to be mad at her for her strange behavior yesterday...make that little ghost remember her place. But as she started floating away, he suddenly realized that he didn't want that.

He didn't want her to leave !

He grabbed her robe tightly, almost pleading with her to stay.

"Please, don't go."

He hesitated for a minute and continued.

"I...don't want you to leave."

He seemed to actually want her by his side and, too curious about Draco's request and the fact that he could touch her, came back on the seat next to him. He seemed to relax when he understood that Myrtle wasn't going to leave anytime soon. He laid back down and just stared at her for a while. Her own eyes refused to meet his, fixed on the ground. Her hands curled up on her lap nervously and she looked completely out of place in this infirmary room.

Draco followed her movements for a moment, taking in her gestures and expressions. He observed closely how she looked, the way she seemed so unsure of herself now that she was in this situation. He studied her, from her soft eyes to her hair, to her hands, small and yet, so delicate.

She was…adorable.

He shook at his absurd thoughts. A ghost couldn’t be adorable ! What was he thinking ?! And, suddenly, he realized something important...

"My father told me that you used to be a cowardly girl and really mousy. But you're not...at all what I expected."

She turned her eyes up to meet his and suddenly, she had a revelation. All this time...He hadn't judged her. He didn't care that she was dead and a ghost...or whiny. Or moaning.

He saw her.

He really saw her.

There was an intensity to his eyes that she couldn't quite understand, yet...made her feel comfortable, and warm.

She felt a small smile grace her lips.

"Draco Malfoy," she said slowly. "You are not quite the mean boy that others make you out to be."

Draco could not find the words to respond to her and his thoughts were racing too fast in his head.

Why did he feel like this ?

Why did she make so much sense now ?

His parents would have yelled at him, his friends would have mocked him...

But this...

This was something real, something that felt real...He was a stupid, spoiled, arrogant boy, surrounded in lies...But with her, in this moment, he felt none of that.

Draco blinked twice in astonishment He didn't know what to say either, but fortunately, she was the first to talk.

"So, can you do that with other ghosts ? Like, touching them ?"

He shook his head negatively.

"In first year, I tried to tackle the bloody baron as a dare, but I ended up with a bloody nose and a serious decrease in my self esteem..."

He grimaced in pain at the memory but then, he was surprised when he heard a small noise, like the laugh of a small mouse and was even more surprised to realise that it came from Myrtle herself.

She was laughing.

He had never heard her laugh. He had never even seen a smile on her face…Unlike what he had previously thought, her smile was nice. She made him think of a small rabbit, especially with these ridiculous ponytails, he found himself thinking and shook his head at the thought…A rabbit ? Seriously ? He would have face-palmed himself if most of his body was not still screaming in agony. Her smile disappeared quickly when she saw the slight frown of discomfort that had appeared on Draco's face.

Her chuckle stopped and a small frown appeared on her face. Draco was clearly in pain and she could tell that he was just trying to hide it.

Draco Malfoy, the handsome, arrogant, confident boy who would not flinch when facing Dumbledore himself, was clearly suffering.

Myrtle looked at him for a moment and realized that, for once, she didn't want this conversation to stop. He was in front of her and he was vulnerable, and there was something about it that made her want to be there for him.

"Does it still hurt ?"

Of course it did, but, he didn't want to appear needy or weak so he just shook his negatively.

"Nah...I'm just practicing the frown I will use when I see Potter again…Do you prefer this one ?"

He frowned theatrically.

"Or this one ?"

He asked while eye-crossing and sticking out his tongue.

He didn't know why he did it...He just wanted to hear her laugh again, but it failed. She just stared at him with a big frown and unamused expression.

"Yeah…Just like that..." He joked, but he knew that it would not succeed in making her move on from the subject. Her next question surprised him even more.

"I'm sorry to have hugged without your permission in the toilets, and I'm sorry to have touched your hand when you were unconscious…But now, I want to ask you properly, can I touch you ? I know it may sound silly but, when I touch you, I feel alive..." Myrtle asked and waited nervously for his answer.

Draco seemed to think about it for a moment.

He felt a strange connection with this ghost, one that he couldn't quite understand.

And then, he realized that, to him, she was far from silly.

Draco reached a hand and took hers.

"Hum…Sure, you can touch me."

Draco knew he should say no. Draco wanted to say no. He decided to say no. But, when his mouth opened, he said yes.

She looked at him with stars in her eyes and he extended his arm in front of her, curious to see what she would want to explore first. She looked at his arm for a while and lightly traced the upper part of his arm with her fingertips.

Even with the material of his sleeve separating them, he shivered as he felt the cold contact of her fingers with his skin. She looked at his arm with a certain adoration that filled his heart with pride a little but then, having felt the goosebumps raising on his skin, she stopped and glanced at him with worry.

"Does it...hurt ?"

The word felt foreign in her mouth but, she focused on his face, trying to find any sign of discomfort. But, he shook his head negatively a little too vividly.

"No…It's just a little cold."

As she traced his arm, Draco noticed how her eyes roamed freely over him and he felt his breath quicken.

She was so close to him and yet, Draco didn’t feel uncomfortable. For a moment, he almost had the urge to pull her into his arms, to hold her and forget about his duty and Voldemort and whatever darkness surrounding him...

He shook his head slightly as if to wake himself out of some dream.

She was a ghost.

She was not even real.

And yet she made him feel like none of that mattered.

She opened her eyes wide at the realization, she was a ghost. Of course she would be cold…She shook her head at her own silliness before getting up and stammering again.

"I…I should go...Dumbledore and Professor Snape will surely be there soon and I don't think they will appreciate it if they knew what we can do…"

Draco didn't want her to leave. He didn't even want her to stop touching him, but he knew better than to disagree and only nodded softly.

"Will you...I mean, can I visit you sometimes ? Again ? Tomorrow ?"

He felt foolish to even ask but, Myrtle only nodded sheepishly.

"Sure. My toilets will always be open to you, if you want to talk…"

He nodded again but, this time, when he raised his head again, Myrtle was gone. And soon, as she had predicted, Dumbledore and Snape came to nag him with their stupid questions, while his thoughts always came back to the little ghost with pigtails.

#fanfic #draco malfoy #harry potter #moaning myrtle

[stuff-i-write-for-fun]

MOANING MYRTLE

Part 2

The girl who never got to grow up…

While the students and teachers moved around the bathroom, some even wondering about the screams that came from the bathroom, some worried and some curious, Myrtle couldn't help but think about what had just happened. She had never let herself get involved in human affairs, never allowed herself to take a stance on anything. She had always simply acted as a moaning ghost.

In fact, she didn't even want to be remembered, she wanted to remain completely invisible. But she had stepped out of the shadows for the first time in her entire life, just for him.

Suddenly, someone knocked on her door. She gritted her teeth in annoyance before yelling.

"Get out of here ! I'm not in the mood !"

But then, a familiar old voice made itself heard on the other side of the door.

"Not even to chat with an old friend ?"

This was the voice of her old Transfiguration teacher, the only one that she had actually appreciated when she was still alive. She took a peak out and saw the old man waiting for her with a benevolent smile.

"Professor Dumbledore ?"

She asked in an uncertain murmur and he nodded.

"Hello Miss Warren, it has been a while...I'm sorry for not having been able to visit you before but, being a headmaster can be quite a challenge, wouldn't you agree ?"

She frowned before opening the door completely and stepping out to face the old man, her arms crossed and her eyes staring at him suspiciously.

"What made you finally decide to pay me a visit then ?"

He chuckled slightly at her straightforwardness and nodded his head once more.

"I have been trying to figure out how all this arrived and was hoping to get more information from you..."

Myrtle let out a sigh of annoyance as she thought about what she had been through. She had been hoping that she would be able to remain invisible, but it seemed that she had finally drawn Dumbledore's attention.

She rolled her eyes at the thought of having to share yet more information with him, but she also knew that she couldn't refuse him.

So she took a deep breath before answering him.

"What do you want to know ?"

Dumbledore smirked at her annoyance. As if he knew just how much she hated talking to people, especially him. But she had always admired his intelligence and wit, so she also knew she couldn't simply shut him down.

"I would like to know what happened with the boy in the bathroom, and if it was related to Voldemort's return. And I would like you to be frank and honest with me..."

Myrtle rolled her eyes again. This was going to be a long conversation.

She sighed and reluctantly took a seat opposite of him. She knew that she wouldn't be able to get out of this conversation, so she decided that she would at least enjoy annoying him with her attitude.

"Well...The boy's name is Draco Malfoy. He came in the bathroom and I was immediately able to feel his pain even though I'm a ghost. Then…You know, stuff happened, and then he was attacked with an Unforgivable Curse by Harry Potter himself..."

Dumbledore frowned before asking in a suspicious voice.

"And, nothing else happened ? Nothing at all ?"

He looked expectantly at Myrtle who hesitated to talk to him about the fact that Draco and her could actually touch each other. But she finally shook her head negatively.

"Nope. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some sulking to do..."

Dumbledore straightened up and nodded.

"I'm sure you do. Sorry to have disturbed you—Mrs. Warren—I'll let you go back to your occupations. Have a good day."

He then walked away and Myrtle sighed in relief. Thank Merlin he was gone…Myrtle leaned back against a wall, relieved that Dumbledore was gone. It wasn't an easy conversation, but she had at least managed to dodge the "touchy-feely" questions.

She looked at the closed door and smiled to herself. For a moment, she could almost forget about all the madness going on around her.

But that happy feeling was soon brought to an end, as Snape came walking towards the cubicle in which she was sitting.

She glared at him.

"…Snape."

Snape gave a small, humorless smile.

"Good afternoon, Myrtle." He crossed his arms in front of his chest as if he was trying to appear threatening. "I heard what happened earlier. I assume Dumbledore spoke to you…"

"Yup. The old man came by to chat." She confirmed and Snape nodded. Myrtle could sense him getting riled up inside.

"And I assume he asked you about this whole situation with Malfoy ? Why he was attacked in the bathroom and whether it was related to Voldemort's return or not..."

"Bingo. Which leaves the question…" She stood up to float—her face in front of his. "…What are YOU doing here ?"

Snape's face darkened and he frowned at the fact that she was looking him in the eye and had the nerve to look like she actually wasn't afraid of him. He was used to people cowering away from him, not looking him squarely in the eyes. And he didn't like it. He took a deep breath and decided to just give it to her straight.

"I need you to tell me what happened between Malfoy and Potter. Now."

She sniggered mockingly.

"You already know what happened. Harry attacked Draco and then ran away..."

Snape scowled and didn't hold back his annoyance. "Don't play games with me, Myrtle, I'm not in the mood."

He took a step forward, moving closer to her.

"Tell me, right now, what happened in that bathroom. I know that there is more to this than meets the eye, so don't try to lie to me."

Her eyes stared right into him.

"I have NOTHING to say to you."

Snape's anger at the ghost's stubbornness made him take another step forward.

"I don't care. You WILL tell me what happened. Now."

There was so much anger, rage in his voice that even Myrtle could feel it. She smiled, amused by the fact that she was somehow, for once, pissing off Snape.

"Now, you wanna talk ? After years…years after you decided to join the Deatheaters ? Years after I died ? You never even came to apologise…Never."

Snape's eyes narrowed, and he took another step toward her.

"Apologize for WHAT exactly ?"

He was clearly still furious about the fact that she had the gall to look him in the eye and actually hold her anger against him after all this time.

He wasn't used to people standing up to him.

"I didn't do anything to YOU !" He continued.

"You closed your EYES !" Myrtle glared at him. "You joined him, Snape. You joined Tom. You joined him even though you knew he wasn’t good and the pain that would follow…I spent years trying to warn you all about Tom or Voldemort. But nobody listened to me !"

Snape's fists clenched and he took another step forward, his eyes blazing with anger.

"It wasn't that simple ! I never truly sided with Voldemort. I—" He stopped short, realizing what he was admitting. He shook his head. "Besides, you're forgetting the most important thing: You were a Ravenclaw. You shouldn't have been hanging out with the Slytherin kids. It's your own fault you ended up dying..."

Her eyes widened in shock and her lower lip quivered.

"I thought we were friends…I wanted to be friends. Why is that so hard to understand ?! I was seventeen and I wanted…I wanted to be your friend."

Snape's anger faltered for a moment, as if he was actually feeling hurt. He didn't know how to feel. On the one hand, he hated this girl. On the other, she did die a horrible death just because she tried to be his friend.

He couldn't let him show this vulnerability, so he decided to use sarcasm and coldness to cover up his feelings.

"I don't remember ever agreeing to be your friend. I never liked you."

She looked away.

"Right…You made that clear. But I still tried…Did that really deserve for me to die ?"

Snape's chest rose and fell rapidly as he wrestled with his emotions.

He hated this girl with every fiber of his being, but now, the guilt was rising in his throat and he couldn't hold it back.

"Of course not, but..." he said in a much quieter tone. "...I can't undo what's already been done. Now can I ?"

She felt anger fill her heart as she glared at him.

"Yeah…But you could have apologised, Sev’. It’s been years. And I haven’t heard you apologise to me once…"

The frustration spilled from his mouth unbidden when he said this:

"Fine ! I'm sorry I didn't come to apologise. I'm sorry I didn't visit your grave. I'm sorry that you died !"

He looked back at her, his eyes softening slightly.

"And for what it's worth…I'm sorry that I couldn't be your friend."

She looked up at the ceiling and her eyes revealed a deep sadness.

"You know…I thought you would be my first friend. I truly did."

Snape felt more guilt and anger welling up inside him. He hated talking about these things. He hated himself for them. For the things of the past.

"I know…I know you did. And I'm sorry I couldn't be that person." He paused for a moment, then said what he really felt. "I'm sorry I wasn't a better person, then maybe things would have been different."

She sighed.

"If you hadn’t been so obsessed with lil’ miss Evans then maybe…just maybe…you could have come to be my friend. We were both lonely and misunderstood. I thought that maybe that would make us understand each other…But…"

Snape sighed and took a step back, away from her.

"We both made a lot of choices in our lives that we regret. There's no point in focusing on them. We need to look forward."

He looked away for a moment, clearly thinking about...something.

"I assume that Draco is your friend now. Is that correct ?"

Myrtle looked up at him and gave him a weak smile.

"Wouldn’t that be nice…?"

Snape looked at her, his eyes searching hers.

"Is it not the truth ? You protected him back there, that much I know."

"…I did. Because I care about his life. The students of Hogwarts may hate me and call me names…But I will always remain a student from Hogwarts and I will fight for their lives." She looked up at him. "…I died between those walls. And I won’t let anyone suffer the same fate as mine…"

Snape looked at her, and his expression softened even further.

Myrtle truly was a brave girl.

He had always known that, even if he couldn't express it back then. He was so consumed by his own self-hatred that he couldn't see the good in anybody, including her.

But now...now he felt something different when he looked at her.

"You should be proud, you know ? You're a better person, a kinder person, than I could ever be..."

She huffed and looked away.

"And yet…I am haunting toilets while you get to live."

Snape chuckled slightly, despite himself.

"True, I cannot deny it. But I also lead a very miserable life."

He looked back at her with an expression of almost pity. "Even though I have lived more, you are definitely the luckier one."

She gritted her teeth.

"Lucky ? I was seventeen, Sev’. And I never got to do half the things I wanted…I wanted friends. I wanted love. I wanted children…And all that was taken away from me."

He frowned, and once again, his heart was pierced by the girl's words. He knew all of those things were true, and the fact that he was one of the reasons the girl had lost all of them...

He clenched his fists and let out a small, bitter laugh.

"Yes, it's cruel to think of it. I've got so much more time than you did, and yet, I still haven't done anything with it. I never had a family, I never had love either. I'm a miserable bastard..."

She chuckled and looked at him with a smile.

"That brings me a little bit of joy during my lonely nights I’ll admit…"

Snape rolled his eyes, but when he saw her smile he couldn't help but feel a small, weird, stirring inside of himself. He didn't want to agree with or respect her. He didn’t back then, why would he now ? He didn't want to care. But...he couldn't deny it either:

Her smile had always been one of the nicest things about her when she used to be alive...

"You enjoy my pain ?" He muttered, almost laughing to himself.

"Who doesn’t ?" She smirked. "I’ll always enjoy the old git’s pain…By the way, careful with the wrinkles. You’re getting old, Sevy."

Snape was taken aback by her playful demeanor, but he was also amused by the way she was talking to him.

"I'm not that old, you brat."

He smirked back at her and crossed his arms.

"You're lucky I can't hex you."

She laughed.

"I always had better aim than you, you old bat." She playfully stuck out her tongue at him.

Snape raised an eyebrow and couldn't help but smirk at her.

"I could have you banned from this bathroom if I wanted to."

His smirk was clearly teasing, as if he was joking. In a way, she was probably the only person who was allowed to talk to him like this and get away with it.

"And don't think you can mock me just because I'm old. I'm still much smarter than you."

She looked at him and smiled before scoffing.

"Never. I’ll never admit that a Slytherin was ever smarter than a Ravenclaw…"

Snape scoffed back and gave her an eye roll.

"Well, then I guess you're still as stubborn as ever."

He paused for a moment, and his expression sobered slightly.

"But you know what...I've always respected your stubbornness. Your lack of fear. Your willingness to stand your ground regardless of the circumstances. You were whiny, but also really stubborn. I've always admired that about you."

Myrtle kept her smile.

"And yet…We were never friends."

"No." Snape's voice was quieter when he said this. He looked up for a moment, his eyes filled with a strange mixture of memories and emotions. "But maybe we could have been. Maybe I should have tried. Maybe..."

Myrtle chuckled and shook her head before standing before him.

"It’s okay, Sevy…I never actually held it against you. Out of all the people back in the day, you were always the one who actually took the time to share a few words with me. It may not have been much, but I always appreciated you for it. I know how annoying I could get back then…but you never treated me any different from the rest."

Snape's breath caught a little bit and some emotion rose in his throat again.

He was finding it harder and harder to hate her, and that feeling was making him feel both confused and irritated.

He swallowed and tried to put on a tough face.

"You were still the most irritating little girl I had ever met, I can assure you of that."

Her smile widened.

"Sure was. Always was and always will be. That will never change, Sevy…"

Snape's expression eased slightly.

He hated how much he was finding himself smiling with her—but he couldn't change it. Some old ghosts were coming back and he didn't like it.

"I just have one question for you." Snape's voice was calmer now, but the question had an edge to it. "Why did you really protect Malfoy back there ?"

Her smile faltered slightly. "Old habits die hard. And I always had a weak spot for broken jewels, Sev’. And that one is really about to break and I am simply trying to save it. Just as you are…"

Snape was caught off guard by her words.

He paused a moment.

"Do you...Actually care about Draco Malfoy ? Do you actually care if he goes over the edge, like..." His voice trailed off as he struggled to come up with the right words. He had never imagined this girl actually caring for someone like Malfoy. Yet, she did. It didn't make sense to him, and yet, he couldn't deny that it actually touched something in him...

"Like you ?" She asked and smiled knowingly. "Always…"

Snape went completely still.

For the first time in years, he felt something catch in his throat.

He wanted to get angry, so that she would back off, but his body just refused to listen.

His anger just melted away and for once, he saw the girl in front of him as not just an annoying ghost who haunted his life.

Myrtle smiled sadly at him.

"I tried to save you…I truly did. But I was reckless and I died before I could actually help you, Sev’. And that is one of my biggest regrets." And with that, Myrtle flew away. Snape froze for a second as the girl vanished and left him alone with his own emotions.

...

It took a moment, but soon, the tears slowly started to trickle down his cheeks. He couldn't deny something that deep down, he had always wanted to hear.

He had always wanted to be saved.

...

He took a deep breath and wiped away his tears before walking away.

It was too late now…

#fanfic #severus snape #moaning myrtle #harry potter #draco malfoy #harry potter series

[stuff-i-write-for-fun]

MOANING MYRTLE

Part 1

The girl who never got to grow up…

Myrtle wanted nothing more than to feel the warmth of a hug again. Her parents had been able to visit from time to time after she had died and she had held on to their affection for a while. Her mother always gave the best hugs. Unfortunately, she had died a few years ago, followed swiftly by her father. Myrtle was alone. She had tried to make friends, with the dead as much as the living…But, all her tentatives had failed. She had hence decided that she would no longer try, even though she still wanted someone to talk to…to talk to about all of the things that made her feel sad or upsetted her—like the fact that her death had not even been on purpose ! She had heard the voice of a boy and then, pouf, she had become a ghost…

June 13, 1943.

She remembered the date like it was yesterday. And she felt as if her vengeance on Olive Hornby was not what kept her in the school. She yet to have succeeded into making a true friend, and not even Harry Potter was kind enough to befriend her…But, she should have known. Boys like that never wasted time on girls like her when she was still alive, why would they start now ?

She sighed, one of the sighs that many mistook for whining. She then looked at her reflection in the water and started sobbing at her appearance…She had wished that once her teen years over, she would become beautiful like all of the other girls that had dared make fun of her.

But now ? She would be stuck in this form forever. She felt as if fate had played a very cruel joke on her.

Myrtle's ghostly heart ached for the fact that no one understood her. Everyone just thought she was being dramatic and whiny when really, she was just being misunderstood. She wanted someone who would look past her ghost-like appearance and see the person inside. Someone who would see her true character and take the time to get to know her. But she had resigned herself to the fact that it would never happen.

She continued to gaze at her reflection, and her tears turned to sobs. What was the point of staying if she was all alone ?

She extended her hand towards the water and let it sink to her elbow...She used to love water, but now, she was tired of it. She wanted to feel things again—anything—but the content sadness and emptiness that she seemed to feel all the time now. She stayed like that for a while until, something unexpected happened…Someone entered her toilets. A boy. She had already seen him before, she thought his name was Drago…Or was it Draco ? He didn't seem to have noticed her yet and looked scared beyond anything. She stayed silent for a while—waiting,—which was unexpected coming from her.

But then, he looked straight at his reflexion in the mirror, and Myrtle could see the exact same look she had given her own reflection a few moments ago. Suddenly, he saw her in the reflection and turned around bruscally and drew out his wand out of instinct. She nearly smiled at his instinctive reaction before saying in a matter-of-factly tone.

"Sorry to disappoint you but, I don't think that'll do much..."

Her words took the boy by surprise. He stared at her for a moment, taking in her ghostly appearance and familiar pigtails. He looked like he wanted to say something, but then just stood there, staring at her as if he wasn't sure what to do next.

"You're her," he said in a whisper.

Myrtle nodded, but she didn't say anything else. A faint smile crossed her face as the boy's eyes met hers and she could tell he was still trying to process everything that was happening. He looked at Myrtle for a few seconds, as if considering his options for a minute before finally lowering his wand.

"You're her, aren't you ?"

Myrtle arched an eyebrow at his comment before crossing her arms defensively.

"If you're talking about Moaning Myrtle, the whining ghost with pigtails, I think you already have your answer..." She said while pointing at her two pigtails and Draco only shook his head before speaking again.

"No, I mean, you're the Dark Lord's first kill..."

She shook her head again before rectifying.

"Rectification. First accident…His knack of killing people on purpose came afterwards…"

She had never discussed the events surrounding her death in more than 40 years ago, and it was a sensitive topic for her.

"So what if I am ?…I'm not some trophy you can show off, you know," she said, her voice cracking just slightly. In her mind, she recalled the day she died at the hands of a young Voldemort. An accident, but an accident that had robbed her of the chance to live a full life.

He bit his lip before looking quite..sad ? He was shaking and Myrtle could see that he was obviously feeling sad and upset. Myrtle had not felt or had contact with emotions for a while now and couldn't remember what it really looked like anymore. But, she still wanted to help this boy that seemed so torn by his feelings.

She was surprised by the empathy she felt for Draco. Despite her bitter attitude and aloof nature, she was still able to recognize pain and sadness when she saw it. She let her arms rest at her side as she took a step back, her expression softening slightly.

"I have gone through a lot in my life, but I have never seen anyone look as hopeless as you do right now. What's wrong ?"

For a moment, Draco was caught off guard by her kindness. She really was nothing like the moaning ghost the stories had told all the years. He felt…seen.

He hesitated for a moment, before he finally opened up to her.

"I'm scared. I have been charged with a mission and I…don’t know what to do. I feel trapped. I can't do anything right anymore and I just want..I just wanted…" He started crying.

She sat on the edge of the sink near him and saw him suddenly break into tears. "Don’t cry," she said and continued. "Don’t cry...tell me what’s wrong…I can help you...I'm sure I can…"

She wanted to put her hand on his shoulder, but, decided to against it. She listened instead when he answered her between sobs.

"No one can help me," said Malfoy "I can’t do it...I can’t...It won’t work…and unless I do it soon...he says he’ll kill me..."

Her heart went out to him. The poor boy was clearly terrified and she couldn't help but want to comfort him.

"Shh...shh...calm down," she said softly, trying to reassure him. She took a deep breath before continuing. "Just slow down and...and tell me everything. Who is the 'he' that says he'll kill you ?"

Myrtle would be lying if she said she didn't have a small idea of who he was talking about. She was still a Ravenclaw after all. She tilted her head to the side a bit before deciding wondering if she should try to touch him, even if she knew she wouldn't be able to truly touch him…being a ghost and all. She waited for him to answer her.

Draco saw her hesitation, the way she wanted to reach out to him but didn't.

"V...Voldemort," he said, his voice cracking with fear. He was clearly reluctant to speak the Dark Lord's name out loud. He shook his head again, as if trying to dismiss the thought, but still the tears rolled down his cheeks.

The name made the little ghost sigh…Of course.

"You don't have to do anything that you don't want to. You have a choice, even if he likes to make you think you do not."

Draco blinked in surprise, as if he hadn't expected her to say that.

"But I don't," he said softly, his voice shaking with sadness and fear. "If I don't do what he wants, he'll kill me. He'll kill me and my family. He says I have until the end of the school year to do as he says, and I..I can't...I can't do this..."

By now, Draco was full on sobbing, his whole body shaking with each wave of emotion.

She saw how sad and conflicted he was and suddenly had the urge to hug him. And then, she decided to follow her instincts and try to hug him—expecting to pass right through him. But her eyes widened in shock as she felt…something solid. She didn’t walk past him. She. Was. Touching. Him. She was actually touching him ! She seemed awestruck for a moment, as shocked as him at the fact that she was feeling the fabric of his white shirt under her palms. They looked at each other for a moment, unable to utter a word. But she still hugged him tightly.

Draco found himself being embraced and his tears immediately stopped.

He had never in his whole life felt so much warmth and comfort as in that hug. He felt her arms wrap around him and his entire body let out a sigh of relief. As the moment of shock passed for both of them, he looked down at her and saw her ghost face, only inches away from his own.

It felt so real, and yet he knew it couldn't be.

The two of them stayed in the embrace for another moment until Draco finally spoke.

"You're hugging me…"

She nodded and didn’t speak a word. She couldn’t. She had spent decades without being able to touch any living being…

Draco couldn’t believe it. It felt so weird, the way her arms felt around him and the way she could feel his heart beat against her chest.

She was hugging him, and more importantly she was able to. He hugged her back tightly, as if he were trying to hold on to this strange and surreal moment for as long as possible. And as he did, he saw a small smile appear on the ghost's lips.

She felt so happy…But the moment was suddenly cut short when she heard footsteps and immediately hid in a corner.

Draco, still shocked, had his eyes still wide open when Harry walked in and used the forbidden curse on him…

Myrtle could have forgiven Harry a lot of things, but nearly killing the only living person that she had ever been able to touch in more than 40 years ? That, she couldn't.

Draco's shocked expression turned to terror as he felt the pain of the curse coursing through his entire body. His last thought was of Myrtle, the ghost who had suddenly gained an inexplicable ability to touch him, and whose soft embrace now suddenly left him in agony.

At that moment, the lights flickered and a cold breeze swept through the bathroom, as if some unseen force had suddenly stirred up in the toilet.

Harry's eyes suddenly turned to the corner of the bathroom in which Myrtle had been hiding.

He had no idea why, but he could have sworn that he had sensed something.

He approached the corner, his wand held tightly in his hand out of habit.

He hesitated a few seconds, but finally decided to point his wand at the corner and cast a Lumos. Harry jumped in surprise as he suddenly saw an enormous, shrieking ghostly form in front of him.

For a moment, he thought that the thing before him was going to kill him, and he pointed his wand at the figure in the corner and prepared to defend himself.

Then, suddenly, the figure turned back into a ghost and he saw the familiar form of the moaning Myrtle.

Her eyes were filled with rage and hatred, and it was so unexpected that he froze in his tracks.

"GET OUT OF MY BATHROOM !" She screamed and all the doors of the cubicles opened as she looked straight at Harry with loathing.

Harry was taken back by her scream and the sudden opening of the bathroom stalls around him.

He tried to point his wand at her, but he couldn't. Her rage was too powerful and her eyes were filled with a pure, unfiltered hatred.

"I was jus—" he started, but was cut off as Myrtle screamed again. "OUT ! JUST GET OUT !"

Harry's mind was racing, filled with a sudden fear and confusion.

He had never seen anyone, let alone a ghost, look at him with such hate. He could feel her rage burning into his own body, as if she was trying to burn his soul away.

With a last attempt to regain his composure, he tried to speak again.

"I was just trying to—"

"GET OUT !" And with that, she raised her hand and used the wind to throw Harry out of her bathroom.

Harry was completely caught off guard by the sudden force that hit him like a ton of bricks. He was flung out of the bathroom and across the corridor.

He hit the ground hard, and for a moment he laid there, stunned, his entire body in agony. He could still feel Myrtle's rage burning into him, and he shuddeted as he desperately tried to get away from her.

She closed the door of her bathroom before returning to Draco. She tried to see if he was still alive.

"…Are you okay ?"

Draco lay on the floor, eyes closed and the pain of the curse still coursing through his body. As Myrtle approached him, he slowly opened his eyes and turned to face her. He was clearly shaken, his breathing shallow and his body covered in cuts and bruises. But he was still alive.

He tried to sit up, the pain of his body sending him into agony.

"Myrtle…you…you protected me."

Myrtle sighed and shook her head.

"Harry is upset. But he is not a bad boy. And I will not let him kill you…"

Draco's eyes widened in surprise. He didn't expect her to be protective of him. He thought that she would let Harry kill him..

But she hadn't.

She had stood up for him when he needed it...

His body was in pain, but at that moment, his heart was filled with gratitude for her.

"But why…Why would you…?"

Myrtle herself didn’t know why she had protected him. She just knew she had to.

She was grateful when she saw professor Snape entering the bathroom and take care of Draco. She wanted to get out of the shadows and take his hand, to at least make him feel as if he wasn't alone…But she knew better than meddling with human affairs and just stayed quiet while seeing multiple people walking around her toilets. She didn't even try to stop them and some of the teachers as well as students were even surprised by the fact that the young ghost was quiet, her who usually never was able to stop complaining or whining. She just stayed in one of the toilet cubicles, sitting on one of the toilet seats—thinking.

…What had just happened ?

#fanfic #harry potter #draco malfoy #moaning myrtle #severus snape #albus dumbledore #professor dumbledore #marauders