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st4r1light · 2 months

Note

hello can i request a carol danvers fic pls no smut pls angst or fluff now thanks xxx

I know it won’t work

Carol Danvers x fem!reader

Warnings: none??? angst/fluff/hurt

word count: 3.6k

italics=flashbacks

a/n: Happy Birthday cutie and happy valentines.♥️

Being Carol Danvers’ wife wasn’t always the best. You had met Carol back when Fury paged her before he dusted. You and Nat being the only ones in the compound at the time when she arrived, you both told her the story of how Thanos dusted half the universe with one snap.

Carol was always strong, but after hearing the story, she didn’t know what to do. Being alone in space wasn’t the idea at the moment, so you insisted she stay at the compound with you and Nat for the time being.

You were somewhat close to Nat, but even after knowing her for almost a decade, she hardly confided in you. The only thing that kept Natasha’s mind busy was following Clint’s trail, so she was gone most of the time too.

So that left you and Carol. To be honest, you knew about her because you were close to Fury, but even then, you still didn't know much about her. It was awkward at first, but Carol was always the one reaching out to ask if you wanted to cook dinner with her (she just sat on the counter watching you because she couldn’t cook if her life depended on it), watch a movie, go for a run at the park, etc.

Before you knew it, she was your girlfriend.

You were both in the living room watching a movie, as per usual every Saturday night. With your head in her lap and her hand in your hair,.

Of course, Carol, being the bold one, reached over to you to interlock your hands. Though you were shocked, you quickly found comfort in it, especially when she ran her thumb across your knuckles.

When the movie finished and you had fallen asleep, Carol thought it’d be better if she carried you to your room so you wouldn’t wake up with back problems because of the couch.

When she laid you down on your bed and covered you with blankets, she leaned over to plant a small kiss on your temple. All the movement stirred you awake, but Carol hadn’t realized that.

Before Carol could pull away, you gently cupped both sides of her face, connecting both of your lips to share a gentle kiss. Pulling back, you saw Carol's shy smile. Carol isn’t one to get shy at all, but the kiss was unexpected.

“Don’t go; you could sleep with me? Please?” You gave her a sleepy smile. “Because you asked so nicely, who am I to say no?” Moving to the other side, Carol slipped off her sweatshirt, leaving her in her white tank top. Getting into the bed, she scooted closer to you so she could wrap her arms around you. She stayed up, racking her fingers through your hair to lull you back to sleep.

A few weeks later, while you were out by the lake near the compound, you were accompanying Carol on her morning run. Carol jogged up beside you, “Hey Y/N!” You stopped running, bending over, holding onto your knees, and heaving, "Gosh, how do you do this every day? And in the morning?!” You sat upright again, fanning out your sweaty face. “What happened?” you asked, looking at Carol.

“One, I’m genetically empowered. Two, because I do this every morning, I'm not fazed by it, and three, would you maybe want to go out on a date with me later?” She smiles at you, awaiting your answer.

“Sure!” You ran back to the compound, leaving Carol slightly confused. “Be ready by 6 p.m.” She yells before you’re out of reach.

6 p.m. comes around, and when you hear a knock at your door, you take a second glance in the mirror, staring back at yourself as you’re glammed up and ready.

Opening the door, Carol is in a blazer and slacks. “Wow…you look…you are so gorgeous.” Your cheeks heat at the compliment, “Thank you; you look quite beautiful yourself.” You smile

Arriving at the restaurant Carol picked, it was fancy enough that you didn’t feel overdressed or underdressed. It was a cozy restaurant with a limited number of people.

“I did try cooking for you before this, but, um, living off space food isn’t the best to learn from when you want to impress someone.” She shrugged, making you chuckle. “No, it’s okay. I’ll be the one to cook next time.” You add, "Oh, we’re already thinking about the second date, are we?” Carol raised her brow.

The dinner went smoothly, and upon arriving back at the compound, Carol parked her car. “I have one more thing I want to do before the day ends, if you’re up for it.” Carol looks up at you with a suggestive smile. “Okay, I’ll go, but I am over wearing these heels.” You say, letting out a sigh of relief once you’ve kicked off the heels.

“If you want, we can switch shoes.” Carol says innocently, “Are you sure? I don’t think I’ve ever seen you wear heels.” You ask, “Im like a superhero badass; I think I can handle 6 inch heels.” She shrugs.

*10 seconds later*

Trying not to laugh at the funny way Carol is walking, you both walk through the field of the compound to get to the top of a hill. "Carol, if you’re such a badass who can handle heels, why do you look like a drunk, headless chicken walking?” You laugh at Carol’s faux-hurt reaction “Whatever.”

Reaching the top, Carol lays down a blanket.

"Carol, why are we up here?” You look over at her as you get comfortable on the blanket. “I just thought we could maybe see the stars.” She lays back, and you follow her. “Star gazing; I love it.” You say, mesmerized by all the different stars.

"Look, those connected look like a cat!” You point out, “What?! I don’t see it.” Carol squints, trying to hopefully see the shape.

“Look,“ you scoot so your head is beside Carol’s “close one eye and focus.” You grab her pointer finger, moving her hand to all the different stars that connect to look like the cat. “Oh! I see it now!” You lower Carol’s arm, still holding onto her hand.

It goes silent, the only sound being the crickets and the gentle breeze of the night.

Carol turns to you, watching as you continue to squint, trying to depict another shape.

Feeling her eyes on you, it’s your turn now to face her. You hold eye contact for a few seconds before Carol glances down at your lips, watching as the corners of your lips turn up. “What? Do I have something on my f-“ You were going to tease her but were quickly shut up when Carol’s lips touched yours.

The kiss lasted for a few seconds before you pulled away, giggling as you saw Carol trying to chase after your lips. Again, you’re both engulfed in a comfortable silence.

Carol breaks the silence. “Y/n?” You hum in response. “Would you want to be my girlfriend?” You feel her rub her thumb over your knuckles. “I was wondering when you were going to ask.” You smirk, “Is that a yes?” Carol looks at you again. “Of course, dummy.” You place a quick peck on her lips before going back to looking at the stars.

“Maybe for our second date, after you cook, I could take you out on my ship to space so you can get a better view of the stars.” Carol smiles. “I’d love that very much.” You smiled back.

Then it all evolved into something bigger after that. That was all for the duration of 8 months. It was two years after Maria passed away that you, of course, stuck by her side, knowing the history behind them. After the loss of Maria, Carol decided to go back to space to help protect other planets since the other planets did have people like the Avengers, or what was left of them. You, of course, insisted on going with her, but then both came to somewhat of an agreement that it’d be safer for you and more comforting for Carol if you just stayed on earth.

During Carol's time in space, she made some enemies, which led to your moving to a safe house. The safe house was on the piece of land besides Clints families house, though that just made the whole thing even more isolating. Two houses, one empty waiting for a family to come back home, the other occupied by a lady and an unusual cat,.

At first, the safe house was very relaxing, as it was much quieter than the stark tower back in New York and the compound that always had F.R.I.D.A.Y. going off.

It's been over half a decade since Carol has been in space. And it’s been 3 years since you lost your best friend, Natasha.

It was early in the morning, and you sipped on your usual coffee you drink every morning, paired with two pieces of toast with butter and honey.

You turn your head toward Goose when you hear her meowing at the front door. “What's wrong, Kitty?" You pet her head before opening the front door to let her out.

She usually stays around the front porch, so when Goose ran over to the house beside yours, that was when you noticed the outline of four people.

Struggling to see because of the sun, you grabbed your gun in case it was someone who was a threat.

“Who are you people?!” you yelled as you slowly moved towards them with your gun lowered but ready. "Kids, go inside right now.” You heard a woman’s voice, and now there was only one of them left.

When you were close enough to see, you thought you were hallucinating; maybe you were going crazy from being isolated for so long. “Y/N?!” The voice sounded so real. She moved to where she was, about 6 feet from you.

It was then that you noticed you were crying; you wiped away the tears that fell.

“Y/N, is that you?” After completely letting your guard down, you dropped the gun out of pure shock.

“Laura?” You and Laura had known each other since you were younger, and she was still working for SHIELD; she was sort of a mother figure to you.

You quickly closed the space between the two of you with your arms wrapped around her torso and your head buried in her neck.

“What happened? I was just out here with the kids and Cli-“ She stopped herself.

Snuffling, you still hold onto her. “We lost. Im so sorry, Clint is fine, well, kinda." Laura rubbed your back with one hand while the other was holding your head to her chest. "Hey, hey, it’s okay; it’s not your fault. Let's go inside, and you can explain. Is that okay?” She pulls away slightly when you nod.

After you told her the story and everything that Clint has been up to the past 5 years, you heard the sound of a quinjet outside.

Both you and Laura step outside cautiously.

When it was Clint that stepped outside, it was Laura's turn to start crying before she ran up to her husband, holding onto him dearly.

After pulling away, you both realize the glum look on his face. “What…What happened?” You slightly whispered, scared to hear what he might say.

“We lost, Nat.” He looks at you when the words leave his mouth, and you don’t react.

“I’m so sorry, Y/N; I know you two were close.” When those words left his mouth, you weren’t sure if you had heard him properly.

Your eyes hurt from fighting the urge to cry. “How?” He sighs, “I fought so hard, but you know, Nat, she wouldn’t back down. I should’ve fought harder.” His voice cracked.

You run over to engulf him in a hug. “It’s not your fault. Natasha Romanoff always had to win.” You say.

“But the fight isn’t over yet. Thanos is on his way with his army.” He pulls back. “I know you’d want to be part of the fight, so I came by.”

Suiting up, you got back on the quinjet.

Mid-fight, we were warned in the comms that something (someone) had entered the atmosphere.

As soon as you saw a dash of light, you knew who it was. The thought of getting to be with your girlfriend after this fight gave you a shot of adrenaline.

It was only after Tony had snapped that you allowed yourself to react. You were exhausted; everything in your body hurt. You quickly ran to Carol, hugging her.

She tightly wrapped her arms around you. "Oh, baby, are you okay? Are you hurt?” She cupped your face to check for any injuries. Shaking your head 'no', she kisses your forehead before hugging you again.

Arriving back at your safe house, it’s just you, Carol, and Goose.

“Why didn’t you come to see me?” You gave her a hurt look; you see her face contort into a look of sorrow. “I... I meant to, but it just got really bad, and I felt terrible. I just couldn’t come back.” Her eyes got teary. “You left me all alone for 3 years; you can’t just expect me to live alone with a cat and wait for you all day.”

“Im sorry, I just couldn’t wait here doing nothing when there are so many other people on different planets who could use my help, and I don’t know. I guess the loss of Maria added to the urge of wanting to leave this planet.”

“I know, sweetheart, it just... Carol I was so lonely. Nobody was here; I had to see that empty and dead house next door every morning, knowing there used to be a family that thrived there.” You rambled before breaking down.

“We lost her.” You sobbed, “We lost, Nat.”

She gives you a look of sympathy before cradling you in her arms.

“I wasn’t there for her. I couldn’t do anything to stop her. I just let her die. She was alone in that compound for 2 years.“ You choked up. “I could’ve spent those years with her; I could’ve been the one that was sacrificed. She didn’t deserve to die; it isn’t fair.” you cried.

You had all these emotions, and your mind was running at a thousand miles per hour of ‘what ifs?’ and it all ended up balling into anger.

“I would’ve been there if you hadn’t forced me to stay in this stupid safe house.” You push Carol away, but she reaches out again. "Baby, I know that, but you shouldn’t blame me,“ you slapped away her hand. "Carol, please, you left me alone here for years when you promised you’d visit! I’ve been waiting for years! Do you understand what thats like?” You look at her in shock.

“I can't even speak to you right now; I'm going to sleep.” You couldn’t sleep at all that night.

It was in the middle of the night, around 2 a.m., that you heard the front door open and then close.

Running down the stairs towards the front door, you step outside to hear Carol’s ship taking off.

She left you.

And she took the fucking cat! (which was probably for the best.)

You woke up at 6 a.m., somehow getting an hour of sleep. You made your usual morning coffee before you got a text from Clint telling you that they were having a funeral for Tony later today.

You decided it’d be better to arrive with the Barton family than to walk in on your own.

After the funeral, you, Wanda, and Clint stood by the lake by Tony’s place.

“She was the best of us.” Clint said, looking out to the lake, before he left, leaving you and Wanda. You were always close friends with Wanda, so it was nice to talk to her after five years.

“Where’s Carol?” Wanda knew you too well. “She left.” Wanda brings you in for a hug, comfortably rubbing your back with her hand. “It’s gonna be okay, y/n; it’s not your fault. You’re going to be okay.” Wanda was always the mom of the friend group.

After the funeral, you walked back into the emptiness of your home. To be honest, you were on the verge of trashing the whole place but decided not to.

You tried to look on the bright side. What's the bright side? I have no idea, but you were grateful to be here and proud that you helped bring back half the universe.

You pushed all the bad feelings away and moved on with your life, trying not to dwell too much on the ‘what if’s?’ and whatever

After the return of half the universe, you made some new friends along the way, like Kate Bishop, who was a close friend who visited frequently after she spent Christmas at the Bartons for the first time, and the Bartons now included you too.

Today

Three years after the return of half the universe and losing the love of your life,.

A knock on the door startles you, marking where you left off as you set your book down.

“Kate I told you to tell me," You cut yourself off at the sight of maybe your girlfriend??? You weren’t quite sure what you guys were anymore.

“Carol?” Carol looks down at her feet. “Y/n…”

It grew silent. “Kamala!” You took notice of the shorter girl beside her before looking at the other woman, whom you don’t know yet, “Monica.”

“We um need a place to hide out... on earth, and this is the only place I could think of.” Carol says, finally looking you in the eyes.

“Sorry, um, please come in.” You nod before moving, so they can enter. “I was just fixing up dinner, so I’ll go finish that. You guys make yourself at home; Carol will be helping me in the kitchen.” You smile at Kamala and Monica before dropping the smile when you look at Carol.

“Something's off between them.” Kamala badly whispered

“Y/n I-“ Carol gets cut off. “I want you gone as soon as possible.”

“Okay, anything you want, but could we just talk about this?” Carol pleads, "Carol, please, there’s nothing to talk about.” You say adding seasonings to your food is “but-“ Carol reaches out, “Go set the table.” You leave no room for her to argue.

You’re all sitting at the table. “So… How do you know Carol?” Kamala asks, putting a spoonful of food into her mouth.

“We’re um frien-“

“She’s my girlfr-“

Both you and Carol said it at the same time. “We worked with each other,” you say, ignoring the slight look of hurt on Carol’s face.

"Anyway, what or who are you hiding from?” you say to move on from the awkwardness. “Oh! Basically, Carol and Monica both touched this like radioactive, glowing portal thing that causes our three powers to like entangle, as Monica said, and basically, we switch places any time we use out powers at the same time. Theres also this one evil villain lady whose like going to all these different planets to steal their natural resources because Carol,” Kamala gestures to Carol with both hands, “destroyed their AI thing, and she like needs my bangle to steal our sun... and now we’re like a team.” Kamala finishes her rambling with a thumbs up.

"Yep, what she said...” Carol nods

The dinner went by very smoothly, especially with Kamala’s rambling, which you found adorable especially when she spoke about her very obvious obsession over Carol.

The night came around, and everyone was in their own rooms, leaving you and Carol alone in the living room. Sitting across from each other with Goose in your lap.

“Y/n… Im really sorry.” You look everywhere, but at her, “You left me,” you mumble. “Why did you leave again?” You look up, teary-eyed, seeing the look of hurt on Carol’s face at the add of ‘again’ “I just thought it was what you wanted; I thought you wanted me to leave... I was going to come back, but I just couldn't, and I know it was wrong for me to leave without a word, and I am terribly sorry. Yes, you should be angry with me and hate me, but I truly am sorry.” Carol locks her hands together, rubbing her knuckles.

Carol moves to sit beside you while still keeping some distance.

“Carol I am sure as hell angry, but I could never ever hate you. I’m sorry I put the blame on you about Nat; I wasn’t thinking straight, and I was just overwhelmed with all of these emotions that day and took it all out on you. We both did something wrong, and we both realize that we messed up, and thats good.” You place your hand on top of Carol’s to stop her movement.

“I don’t like how things were left between us, and I do love you so much. So I was hoping that maybe... we could try this again?” Carol glances down at your hands before looking back up at your face.

“I was wondering when you were going to ask.” You smirk, interlocking your hands together. “But I am not sitting in this house waiting for you.” You add, “Of course not; I was hoping you’d join me in space.” she smiles

“Maybe we could go for that second date?” Carol brings your interlocked hands to her lips to plant a kiss on the back of your hand. “I’d love that very much.” You smile.

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st4r1light · 2 months

Text

‘intruding’ — arsenal wfc

arsenal wfc x teen!reader

‘nosy’ part 2

long as hell (5k) and barely any real plot😃

—

it was raining lightly when you first stepped out onto the pitch, and katie’s usual firm hand on your shoulder served as a reminder to be careful.

you shrug it off easily, taking your position.

the whistle blows, game on.

it took you 17 seconds to have possession of the ball and 18 for you to be laying on the ground. luckily, you'd managed to pass it to vic as you went down, but she unfortunately lost possession not long after.

you ignore the multiple hands offering you help and stand up yourself, waving at the fans as they cheered. you were a bit embarrassed, as you were sure that was the fastest tackle ever.

you notice the girl who knocked you over smiling smugly, and you know you're in for an absolute treat this game.

—

not even 20 minutes into the match it was clear that you were being targeted. you had been marked by multiple people at all times, and 2 players had already been awarded yellow cards for fouling you. you'd given your 2 free kicks to kim, hoping it would remove the target off you back (spoiler: it didn't).

katie had earned herself a yellow after you'd gone down for the 7th time, this time with you struggling to stand up on your throbbing ankle. she pushed the defender that had dirty tackled you until caitlin had to drag her away, the referee already showing a yellow card in her direction.

still, you'd managed to score a goal in the 21st minute, immediately tasting dirt right after your foot chipped the ball into the top left corner.

you groaned, feeling frustrated. you could hear leah's shouts from across the pitch, telling the ref that you were clearly being targeted and it wasn't fair.

viv's hand appears before you, and you gladly let her pull you up to your feet.

"i'm sick of this." you mumble into her chest as she brings you into a quick embrace.

"you're doing the best with what you've got, schatje." she squeezes your shoulders gently before releasing you.

you still feel like there's something more you could do.

—

during half-time, almost every team member had checked you over for a serious injury and cleared you to continue (like the true medical professionals they were). kim was hesitant, though, and you knew from the way leah was watching from afar that she had put the captain up to this. you discreetly flip her off behind kim's back.

the scottish woman sighs, running a hand down her face in frustration. "you stay the hell away from all the defenders, even if it means staying away from the ball. if you go down hard again, i don't care if i have to drag you kicking and screaming off the pitch myself, you're being subbed off."

you smile cheekily. "didn’t know you were into that kind of stuff, kimster.”

her hand smacks the back of your head and you a yelp out a ‘that's child abuse!’ but she doesn’t seem to care.

"i’m serious, kid.” she glares, looking like she was about to say more but your reprieve comes in the form of katie, who drags you to the corner of the changing room, tugging you close.

"why do you let them do that to ya?" she asks quietly, looking concerned as her eyes bore into yours.

you scoff, still feeling angry from the beatings you'd taken on the pitch so far. "oh, yeah because i let them do it." you throw your arms up in frustration, narrowly missing katie's chin, "i begged for it, actually! can you not see the target on my back or does it blend into my jersey too much?"

katie frowns, grabbing your shoulder and tugging your body closer as she leans down so nobody could hear what she was about to say.

"listen, kid, if someone fouls you again, i want you to grab 'em like this." she grabs the bottom of your jersey pointedly. "and do this." she promptly tugs it over your head, leaving you with your stomach showing and your face covered with the red shirt. "and then punch them in the nose or-"

"oi!" leah's voice shouts from across the room, and you quickly pull your jersey back down. "leave the baby alone, she's having a rough go of it as it is." she points sternly at katie, before turning back to kim and their conversation (which you would bet your life savings was about you).

katie smiles, looking at you happily. "consider it." with that, she pats your shoulder softly before walking away.

—

you decide to ignore the advice of katie mccard, deciding to be the bigger person and continue getting up from the ground without a fuss.

that's until your ankles are taken out from under you again, the heavy body of the opposing team's midfielder landing on you with no remorse.

she mumbles a half-assed apology, smug smirk on her face as she stands up.

she starts walking away, leaving you on the ground, when suddenly you're on your feet and your hand is pulling her shoulder back with a loud 'oi!' (you'd been spending too much time with leah, clearly).

the girl looks down at you with a mocking smile, opening her mouth to say something (presumably) condescending when suddenly her jersery was in her face and her legs had been swept out from under her.

—

you accepted the yellow card - the first one in your short career - with nothing more than a 'what can you do' shrug and little smile.

you can feel the questioning eyes of your teammates, but you ignore them, focusing too much on not limping.

your ankle was really starting to hurt now, and if you knew better you'd sub off, like kim said.

you don't.

the game continues, with katie's voice teasing you for getting a yellow every time she passes you, and you manage to score another goal and get knocked over a few more times before it finally happens.

you were dirty tackled, again, the opposing team's striker landing on your ankle with a sickening crunch.

this being probably the 50th time you'd been forced down to the ground, your teammates continue on with the game, knowing you'd be back on your feet in no time.

but this time you didn't, and they knew something was wrong.

you were sat up, holding your ankle with a pained expression on your face and a whimper dying down in the back of your throat.

steph was the first one by your side before the whistle had even blown, grabbing your face and forcing you to look at her instead of your weirdly shaped ankle. she gently wipes the tears from your cheeks with her thumbs as some of the team run over followed closely by the medics.

"y/n!" leah crouches down beside you and wrapping an arm around your shoulder. "fuckin' hell, kid." she whispers, looking at your ankle, which was now being carefully examined by a medic as he talks quietly to steph and lotte, who were both holding your hands gently.

you whimper, both at leah's words and the cold touch of the medic's hand on your swollen ankle.

"it's okay, pea." leah tucks your head into her shoulder protectively, kissing your temple. "you're gonna be okay."

"it hurts, le." you choke, and she swallows the lump at the back of her throat at the pain in your voice.

"i know, sweetheart." she whispers, her lips on your hairline. "but they're gonna make it all better, okay? don't think about it, just focus on something else."

you force your mind away from the crowd around you, and you strain your ears to hear anything but your own heartbeat. you can faintly hear an angry irish accent and a quieter scottish one as katie and kim argue with the ref - katie demanding she give the other player a red otherwise she was 'fucking blind and should be fired.'

you'd laugh if you weren't holding in a sob. you bury your head further into leah as the medic talks, focusing on her steady heartbeat instead of your own erratic one.

"it's definitely broken, we're gonna have to take her to the hospital."

"the game's not over yet." you pick your head up to look at the medic, your eyes teary. "i have to stay 'til the end."

he looks at you incredulously, but leah beats him to the punch.

"no. you're gonna get your arse into the ambulance and you're gonna get an x-ray and whatever else, and then you're gonna wait in a stupid hospital bed until we get there. that's an order."

you groan, tucking your head back underneath her chin. "buzzkill."

the rest of the team quickly join you, all asking if you're okay and complaining about how unfair the whole game had been.

"we're still up 4-3." you smile weakly at them. "win for me, yeah?"

lessi's hand comes down to pat your shoulder softly, "hell yeah we will."

"alright," leah says, standing up and offering you her hand, "let's get you up."

"unless you want a stretcher?" the medic asks, looking entirely unsure about you walking off the pitch. "you're going to want a stretcher or something, i highly recommend being carried-"

you ignore him, pointedly accepting leah's hand to pull you up and sparing him a glance when you stand easily.

you had both your sides immediately flanked, and you made sure not to put any weight on your right foot as you make your way off the pitch to the crowd's cheers and claps.

"alright, now go win." you shoo the team away as you reach the tunnel.

—

you'd been put in ambulance soon after, immediately doped up on morphine. hospital x-rays confirmed that your ankle was, in fact, broken, and you were immediately carted off to the theatre to have surgery. you'd tried to fight to doctors and nurses off, mumbling about how you had to wait for the game to be over, before the mask was placed over your face and you were promptly knocked out.

—

when you wake up from surgery, the doctor is there and tells you everything you need to know about recovery and asks about your parents, but you're still pretty doped up and you fall back to sleep quickly (definitely just because you were tired, not so you could avoid the topic about your family again).

you wake up the second time feeling a heavy weight on your right foot and both your hands.

you tiredly blink your eyes open to see the entire team scattered around your room, quietly talking amongst themselves and watching the tv opposite your bed.

leah was on your left, holding your hand as she talks across the bed to alessia, who was holding your right hand. katie was in a chair beside lessi, leaning her head on her hand as her elbow was beside your legs on the bed.

you groan at the bright lights, causing everyone to turn to you simultaneously to see your eyes open.

"did we win?" are the first words out of your mouth as you adjust to the light.

"aye, cough it up." jen grins, turning to steph smugly. the australian grumbles, pulling out a £20 note from her pocket and slapping it into the woman's waiting hand.

"you bet on when she'd wake up?" leah asks incredulously.

"no, we bet on what she'd say first." jen shrugs.

"i had £20 on asking who died." steph pouts.

"i better get half of that." you say groggily, nodding towards the money that jen holds up happily.

"you can have it all, kid. i'm just glad you're okay."

everyone agrees quietly, and you spend the next half an hour talking to everyone and laughing as they congratulate you on your first proper injury on the team and first ever yellow card.

"she's my little prodigy now." katie grins, pinching your cheeks proudly. "we're aiming for a red card next match, aren't we, mini me?"

"you bet." you smile softly. then you remember something, "has someone called my parents? they don't watch my games and they'd be pretty mad if i turned up with a broken ankle out of nowhere..."

"i called them after the match," leah says quietly, frowning at the thought of your parents and the memory of the way they dismissed your injury easily over the phone. "they had to give their permission for your surgery but they aren't coming. i'm sorry, kid."

you nod, knowing you'd have a lot of angry missed calls when you turned your phone back on.

" 's okay. thanks anyway, le." your voice is quiet, and the team all share a look.

it had been a few months since you opened up about your family, and they had all become more protective over you and had extended many offers of sleepovers so you wouldn't have to see them as much. you were pretty much no contact with them at this point (not that they seemed to notice) and you'd been doing okay with it all, but now in your vulnerable state you looked defeated at the thought of them not caring about you.

"when are you gonna be cleared to play, kiddo?" beth asks from her space on the sofa near the door.

"dunno, but recovery time is 6-12 weeks, so i say like 3 months give or take." you shrug, focusing your mind on something other than your shitty parents.

"and when can you start walking?" viv asks, looking sympathetic.

"whenever, but i'll have a cast and crutches for 8 weeks." you say, pouting.

"hey, no pouting." leah pokes your lips teasingly, "you get to stay with me while you're recovering."

they'd had a long debate about who you should stay with, knowing for certain that they didn't want you in your parents' house for your recovery. both katie and steph were adamant that you come home with one of them, but neither of them had an extra bedroom. beth, viv, kim, and lia had all campaigned for custody of you too, but were eventually overruled in favour of leah. leah had a spare room and was practically crying while trying to explain to them that you were like her sister and you had to stay with her. nobody had the heart to say no.

the blonde smiles at you, waiting for you to be happy about that news, but instead you groan.

"oi! what's wrong with living with me? i'm a delight!" she pokes your cheek.

"i can't live off ham sandwiches and chicken nuggets for 12 weeks!" you whine, turning your pout towards alessia. "lessi, tell her 'm not staying with her."

alessia laughs, poking your other cheek. "sorry, pipsqueak, she's already decided."

"well she's not the boss! kimmy," you turn to the captain with your pout. "tell her!"

kim laughs, shaking her head. "vice captain's orders."

you whine again, crossing your arms. " 's so not fair."

"i'll pretend not to be offended by this." leah's voice comes from beside you, but you don't look at her. "c'mon, kid! we'll have so much fun!"

"will you feed me real food?" you ask quietly, turning to her.

"sandwiches are real food!"

"i'm gonna waste away; i am not eating unseasoned food for 3 months." you whine.

"you live in spain for 2 years and suddenly you're too good for a ham sandwich." leah rolls her eyes, arms still crossed.

"i've always been too good for ham sandwiches. even in primary school i got fed better than that." you whine. "you eat like a prisoner of war, i can't stand it."

"well, you've plenty of time to get used to it."

you groan again.

—

about an hour later, you're being discharged. everyone had slowly started dropping off and saying their goodbyes, wishing you a speedy recovery and promising to drop in every day to see you. kim made you promise to focus on recovery and nothing else, but kyra slipped you a £10 note with the condition that you annoy leah as much as possible so that was your main priority if anything. beth and viv had lingered the longest, not wanting to leave when you were clearly in your head about the injury, but eventually they had to go too.

so then it was just you and leah, ready to go home.

you're wheeled to her car by a nurse, and leah helps you transfer from the chair into the passenger seat, leaning over to buckle you in. your crutches were already laid out in the backseat, along with your kitbag and cleats.

"i can do it myself, you know." you mumble, feeling embarrassed as the nurse watches leah baby you.

"don't care." leah shrugs, patting your head and closing the door. she talks to the nurse for a moment, accepting a pamphlet about your recovery, before waving goodbye to her and finally climbing into the driver's seat. "we're gonna go to yours to get your stuff and then straight to mine, okay?" she says, not really asking, as she starts the car.

"okay, bossy boots." you mutter, looking out the passenger window.

"well you're just a ray of sunshine, aren't you?" leah teases, pulling out of the car park.

"my ankle's in a fucking boot, leah." you grumble. "what do you expect?"

"oi." she warns, looking over at you sternly. "less of the language, yeah? you’re a kid, you shouldn’t be talking like that.”

you sigh, looking out at the window as leah makes the short drive to your parents house. she turns on the radio and hums along, glancing at your frowning face every now and then.

"alright, wait here." she says when she parks, rushing out of her seat and walking around to your side.

leah opens the back door first, grabbing your crutches. then she opens the passenger and helps you out of your seat and into a standing position with the crutches.

"you good?"

you nod, slowly making your way to your front door, leah beside you. she unlocks the door with your key and opens it for you.

your parents aren't home and you don't dwell on how much that actually hurts as leah guides you up the stairs slowly, making a big fuss every time you wince.

there's not much in your bedroom seeing as you're rarely ever there, and leah tasks you with choosing clothes as she collects other bits and bobs around the house that you would need like your charger, your teddy bear, random snacks you’ve hidden, your laptop, etc.

it's a relatively quick and easy process because leah says she can always bring you back if you forget something so you're not too stressed about what to bring. your suitcase is packed quickly and placed in the boot of leah's car.

you're (once again) buckled in by leah and she begins the drive to her's.

"leah, have i ever told you how much i love and appreciate you?”

"we're not stopping at mcdonald's."

"bullshit!"

"less of the language, yeah? or i'll ground you again."

"you're evil. satan's right-hand man." you grumble, pouting out the window.

leah doesn't care, simply turning up the radio and singing obnoxiously in your ear as you pretend to hate the song.

—

the second you got to her’s, leah insisted on treating you like you were dying, immediately banishing you to the spare bed as if you'd broken your back, not your ankle.

"leah, i said i'm fine!" you groaned loudly, smacking away the woman's hands as she attempted to tuck you in further. "kyra was right, you do smother me." you grumble, wrestling with the blankets as you sit up.

"you need to rest, pea! please." the blonde sent you a firm look as you huffed but allowed her to continue. "stop the pouting."

“why are you doing this?" you whine, throwing yourself back into the pillows.

"because, kiddo, i care about you." the blonde smiled, bending down and pressing a kiss to your forehead, smoothing your hair out of your face before fluffing the cushion underneath your ankle for the 8th time.

"well can you care less? please? for the sake of my sanity?"

"nope. you're the baby, just accept it."

"i'm 16!"

"practically a newborn." she teases, "now, wait here while i nip to the shop for some snacks for us, alright?”

"not like i can move anywhere with how tight you've tucked me in." you grumble, crossing your arms over your chest stubbornly.

leah simply grins and walks out, and you reach over to your phone (after a brief fight with the blanket) and you cheer when you finally get it.

you turn it on and immediately regret it when you see all the notifications. there were lots from social media, the videos of your injury having been up for hours now. there were plenty of missed calls from your parents, the barcelona girls, and some of your school friends. you ignore the messages, too, and immediately call alexia.

alexia putellas had become somewhat of a mother figure to you when you were 13 - when your dad's job had uprooted your life and you had moved to barcelona. you were sad to leave the arsenal academy, but barcelona’s youth team had accepted you easily and you often trained with the senior team too. they had taken you under their wing lovingly and even now, after almost a year since your move back to london, alexia remained a constant figure in your life, unknowingly competing with leah as the most over-protective.

alexia picks up after the first ring, and you have half a mind to tell her to get a life.

"pequeña, are you okay? how bad is it? twitter said a broken ankle but it looked like you hit your head pretty hard too. i can buy a ticket a be there by tomorrow night if-“

"ale?" you interrupt quietly.

"sí? what?"

"i'm okay." she breathes a loud sigh of relief down the phone, and you feel yourself missing her plenty. visiting every summer for a week didn't feel like enough with how much you missed spain and the people you left there. "you don't need to come; leah's got me locked up like rapunzel and she's practically become my around-the-clock nurse."

"so you are okay?"

"i'm okay."

"...you're sure?" she double checks, and you briefly wonder how long this is going to take.

"100%"

"because if you're not-"

"i am. i swear, i'd tell you if i wasn't."

"...okay." she relents, "but you are still coming to visit this summer, aren't you? because mapi missed you last time and she'd kill us both if you didn't come."

"yeah, i should be okay by then."

"good.” it’s quiet for a moment before she seems to remember something. “now, rest. you must sleep and stay in bed! no walking around, no moving your ankle, no-“

"aye aye, captain.” you hang up with a smile, and toss your phone down the bed.

you watch as it lights up over and over again, presumably with texts scolding you for the abrupt hang up and lectures on manners and phone call etiquette.

—

leah comes back from the shop not even 5 minutes later with her arms full of snacks that would send your nutritionist into an early grave, and you suppress a smug smile when she lets you pick a movie, knowing usually at team bonding nights you were forbidden control over the remote after the tusk incident (it seemed not everybody appreciated your idea of a ‘funny movie’ and you were strictly banned from giving your film input from that day on).

leah’s careful when she lays in the double bed beside you, but that doesn’t stop her from shoving your shoulder or slapping her hand over your mouth every time you say something insulting about either her or a character on screen (you couldn’t wait to tell kyra all about it, knowing your mission was going smoothly).

it’s only after she replaces the ice-pack on your cast for the 3rd time and gives you a painkiller when it’s an appropriate time for one do you look at her softly.

"hey, le?" your murmur, watching as she reads the post-op instructions for the 6th time in the last 10 minutes because ‘i dont want to be the one responsible for putting baby arsenal out of commission.'

“yeah?" she hums absentmindedly, flipping the leaflet over.

“thank you."

she looks up, placing the back of her hand against your forehead.

“are you sick? did i give you the right dosage? have you-“

“oh, shove off, williamson! i’m trying to be grateful here!”

she rolls her eyes, but pulls her hand back anyway and looks at you expectantly.

“as i was saying, thank you, leah, for letting me stay here.”

“you don't have to thank me, kid-"

“i do.” you interrupt with a glare that leah had seen many times on her own face. “you don't have to do all this for me, but you do anyway. and i know i'm not good at being honest about my feelings but...i appreciate you and even though you’re literally the worst person ever, and you’re very annoying, and you treat me like i’m 10…i really do love you.”

"oh, pea, you're gonna make me cry!" she’s suddenly pulling you into a hug, and you roll eyes at her dramatics as you pretend not to melt into her sisterly embrace.

“okay, shut up now, and don’t tell anyone about this. i have a reputation to uphold, remember?”

“i’m telling everyone!” you groan loudly, trying to shove her away but she doesn’t let go. “i can’t believe it! you, the epitome of teenage angst, admitting that you love me and even saying i’m your favourite!”

“oi, now you’re just putting words in my mouth!”

this was going to be a long recovery…

(not that you minded).

—

5 weeks later

“oh, come on," leah laughs, an arm over your shoulder as you practically stomp (as best as you can with your injured ankle) through the car park, "are you really being this moody so early in the morning?"

“maybe if you didn't wake me up at the crack arse of dawn to come to training with you even though i'm not needed for physio until 12, i'd be happier!" you glare.

“c’mon, kid, you can’t hate me - i took you to golf yesterday! wasn’t that fun?” she pokes your cheek teasingly.

“it would’ve been if you let me stand for more than 5 minutes at a time!” you roll your eyes and knock your shoulder against hers as you slipped into the locker room.

thankfully, you had a respite from her, sandwiched between lessi and the wall as you sit on the bench with a huff.

"how goes the recovery, kiddo?" alessia asks softly, lacing up her boots.

"long.” you sigh. “physio takes forever and jonas is constantly on my ass about getting proper rest.” you glance over at leah as she enters as goes to her cubby. “and leah’s being a pain."

"nothing new, then." lessi snorts, and you laugh, agreeing.

"oi!" leah's offended tone carries through the room. "i'm so kindly housing you-"

"against my will!"

"-and i still get treated like a second class citizen!"

" 'cause that's what you are." you poke your tongue out at her, causing lessi to high five you happily.

"should've left you at home." leah grumbles, lacing her cleats quickly.

"yeah, you should've.” you huff, crossing your arms.

“hey, speaking of…” steph cuts in, sliding onto the bench beside you as alessia gets up. “have your parents said anything about wanting you to come back yet?”

“i doubt they’ve even noticed i left.” you scoff, “and besides, leah’s practically holding me hostage. said i’m not allowed to leave.”

“oh, i bet you’re loving that.” she snickers, throwing her arm over your shoulder and pulling you closer.

“please save me, steph. there’s only so many potato smileys i can handle.” you groan, burying yourself further into her. “viv and beth keep dropping off homemade meals because they feel bad for me, but it’s not enough. i need to be free.” you whine dramatically, causing leah to glance over with an offended look on her face.

“are you shit talking my cooking again?!” she points an accusatory finger at you.

“no?” you smile innocently, using steph as a partial shield from the blonde’s glare.

“you’re such a little shit!” leah groans, “and i can’t even beat you up because you’re hurt.” she rolls her eyes.

“how devastating.” you grin, allowing steph to pull you up gently so you can watch from the sidelines as they train. “hey, steffy, can you-“

“yes, i’ll make sure to trip her up.” steph assures you with a smile as she guides you towards the pitch.

“and can-“

“yes, i’ll get kyra to be extra annoying.”

“and-“

“and caitlin’s already promised to be as aggressive as possible to her.”

“you aussies are always so good to me.” you grin, “bullying leah for me when i’m incapacitated…i appreciate you guys.” you pat her shoulder gently.

“only because you bribed us.” you raise an eyebrow at her words. “…and because we love you.”

“and don’t you forget it.”

—

when you were finally cleared to be back on the pitch, beth and viv insisted on hosting a small get-together with the team at their place.

it starts off easily with a chinese takeout and everyone (except you) is drinking quite a bit before most of them are tipsy enough to suggest playing just dance.

you simply sit back and observe, sipping the orange juice katie had given you with a wink that suggested it was more than that, until kyra is dragging you into being her dance partner for rasputin.

"kyra, have you ever considered the fact that you have no rhythm whatsoever?"

“whoa, when did the baby get so mean?" she places a hand over her heart in faux-offence, looking around for someone to agree.

"about two drinks ago." you shove her lightly, making her stumble into laura.

“wait a minute, you've been drinking?" leah's accusatory voice comes from behind you, and she picks up your almost-empty cup and sniffs it. "katie!" she whirls to the irishwoman. "you spiked the baby!"

"did not!”

"oh, yeah? you're the one who gave her the juice!"

"you're the one who poured it!"

"from the carton! you spiked it before you gave it to her!"

"proof?"

"look at her!" she points in the direction where you and kyra are giggling while attempting to dance, tripping over your own feet and falling into each other.

"looks fine to me." katie shrugs nonchalantly, sipping her drink.

—

1 month back on pitch

beth stands over you as you sit on the grass before her and viv, eyeing your boots. "i told leah to get you new boots 2 weeks ago! these ones are practically falling apart — i can see your toes!”

you (for once) try to defend leah, "we've been busy!"

"doing what? oh, yeah, golf." she scoffs, rolling her eyes.

"i'll have you know i'm a natural at golf!" you puff out your chest happily.

viv snorts, "oh yeah, says who?”

"leah.”

"very credible." she teases.

"you're mean today." you grumble. "wake up on the wrong side of the bed, miedema?"

"at least i've got my own bed to wake up in, aren't you still living at leah's?"

"i'm being held captive, viv. you're supposed to save me, not make fun of me!”

leah appears out of nowhere, pulling you to your feet. “stop trying to steal the kid from me.” she throws a glare towards the couple.

“it’s not stealing if she’s begging to be set free.” viv points out wisely.

“you what?” leah looks down at you with a frown. “kid, i thought we were bonding!”

“we are! i just miss proper meals.”

“wally brings you dinner every saturday!" she reminds you, and then begins listing all your other weekly meals to prove her point. "and kim cooks for us every wednesday, stina takes you out for lunch almost every monday, lessi brings pizza every other tuesday… you get proper meals!”

you sigh, knowing that was true. “well-“

“well nothing! you’re stuck with me forever and if i find out you’re passing sos messages to jonas again, i’ll kill you myself!”

“oh, because that makes me want to stay!”

leah rolls her eyes, “well, what will?”

you glance over at viv and beth, who are watching with amused smiles, before turning back to leah with your proposition.

“…can we get a puppy?”

“you’re joki - actually yeah i want a puppy too.”

"fuck yes!"

"language! that's £1 in the swear jar!"

—

this is already too long, we’re ending it here😭

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