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sparrowritings · 5 months

Text

out of reach

pairing: semi x male!reader

summary: (y/n) has known semi since they played for band in middle school. (y/n) was sure that semi didn’t reciprocate his feelings after a failed confession years ago, but recent happenings have made it incredibly difficult for (y/n) to suppress those feelings.

warnings: (not actually) unrequited love

word count: 2.9k

a/n: first fic on here, i hope you enjoy!

“Oi Semi, what’s up with you today?” You question as the music abruptly stops, the echo of the crash cymbal reverberating across the practice room.

Your hands were sore from the amount of time you guys had spent going over the same part of the song. It was the chorus, and you guys had perfected it over the past few months of practice. You didn’t know what was going on, but Semi kept missing his entrance to the chorus, coming in too early, or playing the chords to an entirely different section of the music. You set your bass back into its case, sighing.

“I think we should stop here. This isn’t going anywhere and I think we shouldn’t push it today.” You say, zipping the case shut. You get up and walk back over to Semi, who is staring absentmindedly at his fingers on the fretboard. You place a hand on his shoulder, and he jerks in surprise, taking a step back.

“Hey, if there’s anything wrong, you know you can tell us right?” You say, making eye contact. He averts his gaze, deciding that the floor was more interesting at that moment.

“I’m fine…I-I’m just tired, that’s it,” Semi says, relaxing his hands and allowing his guitar to hang from the strap.

“If you say so…” You reply, unconvinced, “but just so you know, I’ll always be there if you need to talk.” You step back over to your things.

“I’ll be heading out now, I’ll see you guys next week.” You say, flashing a thumbs up before leaving the music room to get back to your dorm.

The weather was getting chillier, and the sun was setting earlier. By the time band practice was over, it was almost completely dark outside. A cool autumn breeze ruffled your hair, causing you to clutch the front of your blazer close. Today was strange; everyone had their off days, but it was unlike Semi to be so unfocused. Ever since you got closer to him in middle school, he had never been like this. Admittedly, your opinion may have been biased since you fell head over heels for the ash-blond after the first time you guys played together; him on the electric guitar, and you on the bass. When he dated his first girlfriend, you accepted the fact that he was always going to be out of your reach.

Before you knew it, you were standing in front of the door. Opening the door, you spot your roommate, Tendou sitting at his desk, typing away at something. You greet him, before setting your instrument down and setting your homework on your table. The plan was to do homework until you went to bed, but the sudden “ding!” coming from your phone abruptly distracted you from your train of thought.

Semi

(y/n)

come over now

please

ok i’ll be right there

seen 11:23pm

When you get to his room, the door is unlocked. You let yourself in, closing the door softly behind you. The room was dark, the only source of light being Semi’s desk lamp. Semi is curled up on his bed in fetal position, his phone lying face up next to his face. It was dim, but you could see his face. His eyes were watery and red. Like a magnet attracted to the opposite pole, you rush to his side kneeling next to the bed.

“Semisemi, what’s wrong?” You feel a clench in your chest; you knew something was wrong today.

He sits up, grabbing a few tissues from the tissue box lying on the bed. You get onto the bed too, sitting upright against the wall. Unexpectedly, he wraps his arms around your neck, burying his head into the crook of your neck. You rub soothing circles into his back, his form shaking. You had never seen him this vulnerable. You hand him more tissues as he slowly calms down, his sobbing now reduced to the occasional hiccup and sniffle. Even as his body stills, you continue gently stroking shapes into his back. He holds onto you just as tight as when he first looped his arms around you.

The two of you sit in a comfortable silence, and you zone out, staring at the few photos Semi had put up on the wall in front of his desk. You spot a Polaroid selfie that you had taken of the two of you right after a band performance in middle school. Semi had a fond smile on his face, while you had your arm around his shoulders, holding up a peace sign with your other hand.

“Coach Washijou decided that I would be benched this season,” Semi mumbled into your shoulder. “He said that I’m not the setter the team needed, and they’re putting Shirabu in as a starter.”

Your eyes flit over to the taller male. Volleyball, along with the band were the two most important things in his life. You remember the day he announced to you that he was accepted to Shiratorizawa on a sports scholarship. The gleam in his eyes and the pride in his voice still stuck with you today.

“Semi, that doesn’t take anything away from who you are as a volleyball player.” You spoke softly, still staring at the wall across the room, “You’re still an amazing fucking setter and player, even if your playstyle isn’t what the coach is looking for.” You turn to look at the taller boy, the blankets rustling underneath you.

He looks up at you, eyes still watery and bloodshot. Bringing your hands to his cheeks, you squeeze his face. “You’re amazing, and you’ll always be amazing Semi. Don’t forget that, ‘kay?”

After that night, you frequented his room more and more. Whether it was because he needed comfort, or because you wanted company, you found yourself in his room more often than not. You would talk about anything on your mind, and by the time you realized it, it was well into the night. You could talk about anything, and Semi would listen as if you were the only person in the world. You convinced Semi to keep putting his all in volleyball, and he decided to keep working hard on his serves.

All of this led to now. The two of you were sitting on Semi’s bed, backs against the wall, watching a show on Semi’s laptop. Your knees were touching under the covers, and pleasant warmth radiated from where you were touching. Your head was resting on Semi’s shoulder, and your eyes were drooping. The warmth under the covers, the white noise coming from the computer and the dim surroundings, everything felt pleasant.

You woke up the next day to unfamiliar surroundings. Your gaze wandered over to the opposite wall, and you recognized the posters. Semi’s room. Then, you realized that there was an arm curled around you. Your shirt was slightly lifted, and a warm hand was on your abdomen. Your legs were entangled with Semi’s, and you were trapped. Blood rushed to your face. Why was it so hot in this room? You sat up abruptly, and got out of bed. Semi was startled awake, blinking slowly.

“(Y/N)?” You freeze on your way to the door, looking back at the boy who just woke up, a sad smile on your face. You don’t say anything before you leave the room.

When you quietly enter the room that morning, Tendou was waiting for you. He sat on his chair, directly facing the door. You walk in, ignoring him, slumping face first into your bed.

“Where were you last night?” Tendou inquired.

“I can’t do this anymore.” You huff into the pillow.

“Semi?”

You shot up.

“What?! What makes you think that?” You ask, flustered.

“Ah, so it is Semisemi.” Tendou responds with a shit-eating grin. You bury your face into your hands.

You sigh, staring at the ground.

“I don’t want to talk about that right now.” You quickly packed your things, throwing your textbooks and pens into your backpack, before you rushed to the school building. As you enter the classroom, you’re reminded of when you woke up. English, a class you share with Semi.

You would normally sit next to him, but today you elected to sit by the window. You zoned out in class staring outside, the events of the previous night and earlier this morning replaying in you head like broken record. You could feel the ghost of his touch over your abdomen, and the pleasant bloom of warmth that danced across your skin when your knees touched.

You knocked your water bottle off the table in your exasperation, and the entire class looked in your direction. You could feel the back of you neck heat up. You couldn’t wait for class to be over. The second the bell rang, you were out of your seat and out of the door, entirely missing the “(Y/N), wait!” that slipped from Semi’s mouth.

Semi

(y/n) we need to talk

Please

Seen 15:08

You read the text, turning your phone on the table so that the screen was face down.

“Tendou, I need to talk to you.” Semi spoke as the two packed the stray volleyballs away.

“Is it about that jump floater? Well I think-”

“No it’s about-”

“(Y/N)?”

“No- wait- how did you know I was going to say that?”

“Well this morning (Y/N) came back into the room after being absent for the entire night.”

“Did he say anything?”

“Oh so it had to do with you.”

“What? I-” Semi paused, knowing that he was caught red handed. His cheeks warmed up. Semi paused. “(Y/N)’s been ignoring me all day. He hasn’t been responding to my texts either.”

“Well, if you want my advice, you have to tell me what happened this morning.”

“Well-” Semi averted Tendou’s eyes, “Yesterday night (Y/N) was over and ended up falling asleep. He looked so peaceful that I couldn’t bear waking him up, so I let him stay the night.”

“And how did you feel about that?”

“I’m… not opposed to it..”

“Oh? Does Semisemi have a crush?~” Tendou teased.

“And if he does?” Semi responds, a defiant look crossing his face.

“Ohoho~ You should tell (Y/N).”

“I don’t think he likes me back though.” Semi said quietly.

“I still think you should tell him. He deserves to know, don’t ‘ya think?” Semi opened his mouth to say something, but Tendou cut him off before he could make any sound. “Plus, didn’t (Y/N) convince you to continue volleyball before you almost decided to quit entirely?”

Semi hesitated. Casting his eyes down.

“Okay.”

It had been three weeks since you last spoke to Semi. You made sure to stay out of his way, and you didn’t respond to his texts. You could tell he was trying to find an opportunity to talk to you, but you didn’t want to deal with it. You had already gone through this once, you didn’t want to do it again.

You were planning on confessing to him that day. You bought a single gardenia as a gift to go along with your confession, along with his favourite chocolate bar. When you got to him that day after classes, he was with a girl that he was hanging out with a lot lately. You thought nothing much of it. Well, until Semi introduced you to his new girlfriend. You had thrown the gardenia away and cried to Tendou about it that day.

It had worked, up until recently. You were partially mad that you had forgotten how much it hurt the last time you felt that way.

“Oi (Y/N),” Tendou’s voice pulled you out of your reminiscing, “I’m headed to Ushiwaka’s, I’ll be back in a bit.” You give him an absentminded nod before he exits the room.

Seconds later, you hear a few knocks at the door. You rolled your eyes, opening the door.

“What did you forget this time-” You said, fully expecting to be faced with the red head, catching yourself as you realized it was the very person you were trying to avoid the past three weeks.

“(Y/N). We need to talk.” Semi says, standing in front of your door. You try to close it, but he catches it with his foot.

“Why have you been ignoring me? Was that night too much? Did I do something? Why can’t you just tell me what I did?”

“It’s… not you-” You say as you try to formulate a response.

“Then what is it? Why won’t you talk to me?” Semi fires back, a bit louder this time.

“Do you really want to know?” You raise your voice.

“I do.” Semi stared into your eyes, rooting you in place.

“It’s because I like you okay? And I have since we played in the band together in middle school. I thought back then that maybe you’d return my feelings, but you’re obviously not into guys. I was going to confess to you the day you introduced me to your first girlfriend, you know?” You paused, your voice trapped behind the lump forming in your throat.

“(Y/N), I-” Semi starts, taking a step back.

“I promised that I would let go of those feelings, but how could I? How could I when you held me like there was more going on between the two of us? How could I when you treated me like you returned my feelings? Do you like toying with my feelings?” You took a breath, wiping away the tears that had built up in your eyes, refusing to let them drop.

“There. I’ve ruined our f-friendship,” Your voice dropped, “I-I don’t know what I was thinking- I-I,” You wipe your cheeks again, tears now readily running down your face.

“Eita- I- I’m sorry,” You slam the door shut in his face, leaning against the other side of the door and sliding down to sit on the floor, hugging your knees.

When Tendou returns to the room, he is surprised that something was behind the door, stopping him from opening it all the way. He had known about Semi coming over; he had coordinated it after all. He finds you still curled up at the foot of the door, inside the room.

“Hey (Y/N), you’re okay, you’re okay,” Tendou immediately switches to comfort mode, fetching the tissue box and handing it over to you. It was almost striking how similar this situation was to the time when your confession to Semi didn’t go to plan. When he calmed you down, he went out and fetched your favourite flavour of ice cream, listening to you as you ranted about how Semi would never return your feelings. When you went to take a shower, Tendou took the opportunity to find out what the fuck had happened.

Tendou

oi semisemi

what the fuck did you do

i thought the plan was to confess to (y/n)? why did i find him curled up and crying when i got back?

i didn’t have any time to say thing before he shut the door on me

don’t worry i’m going to fix it

Seen 21:46

Later that night, you were mindlessly scrolling, trying to distract your mind from everything that had happened today. Tendou had gone out for a shower when you heard knocks at the door. Reluctantly, you slip out of your covers and open the door.

It was Semi.

You stared down at your feet, refusing to meet his eyes.

“I understand if you don’t want to be friends anymore… I’m sorry I got so emotional earlier, I-”

“(Y/N), you didn’t give me the-”

“No! It’s alright, I’ll get over this, I-”

“(Y/N), listen to me!” You look up at his brown eyes. “You didn’t give me the chance to respond. I need you to know that I wasn’t trying to lead you on. I like you too, and I’m mad at myself that I wasn’t able to tell you earlier.” The words don’t register in your head.

“What do you mean-” Semi caresses your jaw, pulling you into a gentle kiss. You don’t feel fireworks and electricity, but instead a gentle warmth, like the sunlight that filters into your room on a slow afternoon. It was walking down the grass slope to the river on long summer days; the afterglow of nailing a band performance after sleepless nights; going out for late night ramen after Semi’s volleyball practice, and so much more. You kiss back after the initial shock wears off, placing one hand on his hip and the other behind his head, deepening the kiss.

When you part for air, Semi pushes you against the door, going in for another kiss, before you two are interrupted.

“Guys I’m really happy for you but please get a room~” Tendou approaches from the end of the hallway in a towel, his shower basket in his other hand.

You both flush, and you bury your head into Semi’s chest, hiding your embarrassment.

When Tendou enters the room and leaves the two of you in the hallway, Semi pecks your forehead. He looks at you with a look that could only be described as pure adoration, and for the first time since middle school, what you longed for was no longer out of reach.

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