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soulnotseer · 2 years

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re: endersmile, i'm very much in the belief that things like the community house, handing over of the book, and keeping of the disc were trust exercises in a way, both ways. they're both very guarded people, so it'd make sense that they'd need to test each other out before committing to the larger portion of the plan. if enderboo was the one to suggest the community house like you pointed out, then that'd be dream risking something dear to him, the largest symbol of the server's past 1/7

His past, the symbolic Commitment to the plan, lose the past for their shared ideal future. meanwhile enderboo handing over his book is like him baring his neck in exchange, back then the book was the only lifeline ranboo rly had w the everchanging politics/relations/events, to lose it would be losing himself. and i think the traitor reveal was planned, a way to distance them in the server's minds, fully knowing the risk of execution (one that dream and punz could easily stop like hog hunt, and we know ranboo's opinions on dying for a cause he believes in, especially if petty bc jfc he hated how nlm was). the supplying of tnt was likely as simple as "i want this place Gone, let me help" from enderboo, bc we hear from ranboo how he was onboard w its destrunction, that it was inevitable and was likely for the best. the disc holding is described by the voice as a secret exchange in the nether, one of them having gotten the disc from skeppy beforehand(happyduo is very involved in their shit at key points, its interesting), and this one For Sure is a trust exercise since dream could've easily hidden it elsewhere or had it in his e-chest but instead he gave it to enderboo to hide until he needed it back, and after retreiving it he even left a lil thank you note. ranboo's main concern when finding it was the horror of doing so unknowingly and not wanting to believe it, but then it was feeling in danger from Others finding out, not dream, he was worried for his, phil, and techno's safety bc he knows the lengths people(tommy, namely) will go to for the discs, for the power they hold on some people. i think from then on they had their bond Solid, dream letting enderboo into the disc finale rehearsals and all, enderboo quickly visiting prison over and over, dream and his clock tantrum arc and wanting to send a message to ranboo above even george, enderboo's eager response to the message in a way that seemed to mock his forgetful self. not to mention how i think that enderboo was expecting to have a big reveal in disc finale(-points at Mask of My Own Face-), but dream being dream chose to protect him instead(an ongoing trend of his that i hold dearly) by taking the community house blame, which confused enderboo as shown by the staring and his notes from the finale. i care they and their fucked up plans that they Somehow keep getting away w -Soul (apologizes for the sudden ask essay lmao, i have terminal endersmile brainrot its a problem -Soul)

DO NOT APOLOGIZE THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS IN FACT terminal endersmile brainrot is a constant on the lei enderwalking blog and i am delighted to share it

i completely agree wrt the whole trust exercises thing, and that is such a fantastic take on my mostly-silly theory/headcanon about the community house explosion that i'm adopting it immediately omg. i think the only thing i don't fully agree with in this is that i really don't think that ranboo was ever meant to be revealed in the finale? i've talked before about how ranboo's alliance with dream is one that is played extremely close to the chest, like i don't think there was any way that he would've exposed that in front of 90% of the server. in my mind, the eye contact was something very different, it was more about an unspoken signal like, "this is all according to plan, you know this. we both know what needs to happen next."

only semi-related tangent, but it's interesting the context in which dream does finally reveal information connecting himself to ranboo, i.e. to sam in the prison. dream told sam about ranboo in the midst of attempting to destroy sam's entire worldview, and it was a very spiteful, targeted reveal of information, like he was saying, "this is the person you wrote off as just a meek hostage, as just collateral damage, and yet this is the person who shook the control you so desperately grasped for. what does that say about people? what does that say about you?" and yet even in revealing ranboo's actions, he still holds back. he doesn't give any details as to why or how the prison tnt happened, he doesn't give any context to why or how ranboo is working with him, it's just an isolated bit of information, given only after dream has already made sure of the limits of sam's knowledge on ranboo overall. and this is speculation, but just based on how dream is and on the nature of his and ranboo's relationship, i don't think dream would have revealed anything if he wasn't fully confident that there would be no chance of sam retaliating against ranboo in the future. obviously at this point ranboo is already dead so he was less at risk, but more than that, i think it shows that dream was absolutely Determined to intimidate and break sam down to the point where he wouldn't dare.

#-points- LOOK MA I'M ON TV #soul rambles #enderwalking

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soulnotseer · 2 years

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YEYE w enderboo! i use the name as shorthand for "ranboo but fuller memory", and its certainly not a binary switch but more of a "state" in which the fact he has fuller memories impacts his judgement, attitude, and choices(bc memories effect how people are by a Lot). it's not a solid black and white(ha) situation, memories get mushy and he is a mushy mess-- which is interesting, considering how he describes limbo

and i think a large factor in things like the voice(literally described as his consciousness) were his mind trying to bridge the gap in memory, not to scare him but to be like "no dude, just listen, you'll get it just trust yourself enough to accept it, its actions you wouldn't be as scared of if you Just Remember And Accept that you did them, bc then you can sort out Why"

but its also ranboo's mind we're talking about here, and he catastrophizes and panics and gets frustrated and gets scared, so the methods the voice took at the start(and the nightmare) reflected that bc mans is his own worst enemy when his thoughts go out of wack. his mind just wants him to remember bc that's Safer and less scary than being in the dark, but bc he lacks the memories of Why he would do these things the process is way more terrifying than intended.

also i say enderboo taunted his forgetful self w "doomed are those who try to run, for it always catches up eventually :)" bc again, he gets frustrated and their plan got royally fucked up by ranboo's panic resulting in the ban and sam looking at the waivers, so i wouldn't be surprised if he got a lil petty towards himself once he learned the plan was still on. he sasses quite a lot and is overdramatic, ranboo is ranboo.

and w the book writing, the memory books have always been a conversation ranboo has w himself, all reminders and notes for only him, so enderboo writing things for his forgetful self to see is just a step further in that. enderboo was the one at the finale, all the notes that reminded ranboo of the events are from enderboo and ranboo repeats them as his own memory bc same brain(to the point where he doesn't realize he was enderwalking during it until he retraced his steps to there and went Oh Fuck). also i have a very head-turny theory on enderwalk, which is likely me over-speculating but its fun so wheee

RANBOO IS ABOUT SELF-CARE YESSS and he's also about the journey of self-care being a struggle, bc Man its fkn frustrating dealing w yourself in a bad spot but you Gotta bc you're always worth it. and his sort of split-but-not dynamic fits into that so well, bc its a common habit(tho very different obviously) when going through stuff to talk to yourself in segments, and towards the end of his life he had reached a semi-decent balance and understanding in himself as a whole, tho the methods and some results weren't ideal. we still have no clue if he went through w the experiment, we just saw the result of a better mesh, recalling of end cities, and him forgetting the lab entirely.

--also sidenote/hc: I think that the lessons psedo-physically effecting him was his mind/enderboo using that better mesh to keep him on the path and safe(basically "peace and love, stfuuuuu"), an upgrade of how things functioned before-- the enderman static seems to largely hint towards it to me at least. again, terrifying method that likely means well, he is a disaster. (also the lessons themselves have a very protecting-mentor vibe when looked at w/o the spooky elements of the stream and -points at dream- He)

it took death and limbo splitting him between Mind and Soul for him for that self-care to come out full force and very Clear, bc his logic and feelings(and muddled memory!) were so jumbled up when alive that it was difficult to parce that he was Always wanting to keep himself safe. plus now he has to properly face himself and consequences for actions he'd openly do to himself(and others) before, lying *hurts* now, hurting friends *hurts* now, bad habits that both memory states(head empty, head full) of ranboo would do are now up for severe repercussions. his limbo is him having to protect himself, love himself, reconnect himself, and find a balance that keeps his Soul *and* Mind safe and not just his body like in life, at the risk of literally rotting away, and a depressing part of that is it requires being almost entirely alone w this struggle(an actualization of how he felt in life, unable to speak up and confess bc fear of harm). and yet he's not alone, bc he met and befriended aimsey, he got excited to see foolish, he proudly boasts that the commune(phil and techno) love him, he constantly returns to look after michael just like he did when alive-- even the risk of rotting into non-existence can't stop him from Caring, even tho there's certain people(person namely, tubbo) he just. can't get close to, too many feelings involved, instant evaporation inevitable. yet he still cares, he still defends tubbo despite aimsey explaining him murdering her(which isn't Great, but. c!beeduo are a mess, so many issues).

EDIT: I FORGOT THE ENDERSMILE BIT, I AM A FOOL. YES. dream absolutely needs an Excuse to revive ranboo, it’s like a HUGE thing. he can’t just do it and not be sussed out, he needs Reasoning outside of them(which we know techno had wanted to be, but due to circumstances it may be phil taking that role and requesting it in his stead, who knows how they may handle it). i think both situations can coexist, where dream is unaware rn that ranboo is Dead dead but once made aware has to come up w a cover-up in order to actually Do the revival while boo sits there like “bruh, i’m melting hurry it up pls”

TERMINAL ENDERSMILE BRAINROT WOOO \o/ also yeah i totally agree that a reveal at the finale wouldn’t make sense w how they work, but i’m torn on whether or not enderboo sees it that way. bc overall, i see the staredown the same as you! “its part of the plan, it’ll be fine, no worries, we’re still on track” bc seeing your buddy get yeeted twice unarmored is. awful. but enderboo’s notes(do not read 2, pg 16-17 on wiki) he seems shocked by dream lying(understandable, dream doesn’t often lie) he writes “may have” but we know he Did do the community house, tho we also know his memory is wonky when stressed. regardless he almost sounds like he Expected dream to out him for some reason, and maybe that Was part of the plan in his mind before dream decided to protect him. ranboo/enderboo is known for catastrophizing, dream is known for sudden emotion-driven choices, enderboo could’ve expected the worse bc of that but was proven wrong the notes were also For ranboo to see, so he could’ve wrote in a way that kept things basic and confusing, just like the voice(and his book response later on. and all the cryptic messages. enderboo is a cryptid bastard /pos), make ranboo call into question Why dream wouldn’t just reveal him, why dream of all people would Lie for Him bc if dream hadn’t lied for him, then he’d be in just as much trouble, both of them bad guys worthy of prison(which he agonizes and swears to Hide in his follow up stream). this was the second time someone else took the full blame for something he took part in(first being tommy in exile trial, narrative parallels my beloved), and this time its by the most hated, evil man on the server, which should raise some big questions for him. sadly our boy ranboo is just as much about de'nial river as he is lethe, so he tries to avoid thinking on the signals being thrown at him by his own mind as much as possible, if he ignores hard enough surely it’ll go away(it didn’t go away, it got so much worse bc he’s stubborn through and through, mind/voice and enderboo included, both taunting him over his attempts to avoid the truth ala Why Are You Running? lmao)

i get you i GET YOU i think my main point of contention overall is obvs we know “enderboo” is just ranboo with all his memories etc, but even with that caveat that they are ultimately the same person, i think it’s also important to realize that it’s not just a binary switch, yknow? it’s not like there are just two states that flip between each other, it’s not quite as easy as being like, oh ranboo forgot about this event which means that he was enderwalking during it. there’s some kind of spectrum between the states, there are times he’s more aware than others but also still not Fully aware, and all in all it’s just very difficult to distinguish i think? so i can’t say with confidence that ranboo writing things during events he forgot about is always actually the enderwalk trying to leave messages for his less-aware self, though obviously we know he does do that sometimes? idk idk. it is a VERY cool read though and is not one i had considered in the past!

i do think that something notable in all this is that ranboo–all parts of ranboo–do not want to fear/dislike the other parts, like. it is about the need to reconcile all these different parts that seem incompatible but actually are all necessary to form a cohesive whole! while ranboo has been terrified of the enderwalk at times, and while the enderwalk has seemed to mock him at points, the one most direct instance of communication between the two states is written with such care, and in a way where ranboo seems notably reassured! and it’s shown again in the way ghostboo initially derides his living self, but then realizes better, and ultimately is doing all he can to protect his soul! all parts of ranboo are better off when they come together and love the other parts RANBOO IS ABOUT SELF-CARE AND I LOVE HIM

also MY GOD, DREAM’S LIL QUIRKS W INFO REGARDING RANBOO. this man is a disaster of slip ups w that to the point its a miracle he hasn’t been called out on it, from him choosing to send the message to ranboo to his and techno’s stand-off of “i refuse to reveal i care for/know ranboo, but what about You???” in the cell where dream had to backtrack and lie so hard. like “yeah he visited the most. no i don’t know him that well tho nope” ??? gg king, ur lucky it was techno he’s very good at keeping the secret despite those slip ups, and his talk w sam….. ohhhh that’s a mental landmine for me /pos. bc when making sam go through the list of things people hate him for, when he talks about ranboo dream’s tone changes to a bit more aggressive, his words more biting, and when it becomes clear sam only killed ranboo for Ego(imo, based off his words) dream pulls out his axe subtly after only holding steak(WHEN I TELL U I LOST MY MIND…) and then dream doubles down on poking to see if sam Knows about them, and when he realizes sam has no clue he then Taunts him over it by revealing the tnt thing but refusing to put 2+2 together for him, bc honestly out of ANYONE on the server, sam should be the one who’d make that connection the easiest And Yet He Doesn’t and its hilarious. all the visits and altered waivers and ranboo’s panic, and yet sam Does Not See It lmaooo its a taunting reveal, w two layers, 1 is “ur a dumbass for not realizing w/o me basically spelling it out” and 2 is “ur a dumbass for falling for it this whole time + btw ranboo’s life is worthy of more than ur stupid ego + there was totally actual reason to arrest him ur just stupid + cringe fail warden + L + ratio”. its just enough info to fuck w sam’s head, which is exactly what dream wants

YES EXACTLY oh my god i didn’t notice the thing about him pulling out his axe JESUSSSSS OK OK OK COOL!!! but YEAH this this exactly all this

ALSO i’m under the belief/hc that dream has No Clue that ranboo is actually like. Dead dead. bc w the ho16 death, ranboo was down one more life than dream is aware of, so it’d make sense if dream assumed ranboo was still alive somewhere and just hasn’t contacted him(he still wasn’t told Why the visits stopped after all, and a lot happened so he could be assuming enderboo is hiding or avoiding) which is why boo has been left waiting for a “He” to revive him as he fades more and more (wondering if He is even trying), chased by sam, unable to be in contact w many people or else it gets worse as he’ll feel more. bc i doubt that dream would just leave his ally for dead when he has the full power to Fix It, especially considering how he reacted to sam about the murder. boo is trusting dream to revive him, but much like w how he feels about the rest of the server, he’s likely starting to fear he’s been abandoned by him too -Soul

this definitely makes a lot of sense! i think a factor that i’ve personally put a lot of weight into is, again, the fact that dream Will Not publicly reveal his alliance with ranboo, and so if he just revives the guy out of nowhere then that would automatically send out red flags to literally everyone who is even a little bit aware of anything. so i think he fully intends to revive ranboo and has intended to do so for a while, but he can’t do it unprompted, yknow? otherwise it would be extremely sus to say the least lol. so basically he’s just gotta play a waiting game to see if anyone approaches him first to give him a justification, yknow?

#enderwalking #soul rambles #HI I MADE A SIDEBLOG BC YES i've been meaning to fdgkjfdhg #sorry for my thoughts being all over its the brainrot and the fact this lil fuck (affectionate) is CONFUSING AND CONTRADICTING #i usually only ramble to my friend in discord dms so haha this is new and spooky but you've made it very welcoming thank u!!#i have many thoughts brain very full (it is 1 am)#I FORGOT THE READ MORE its now morning

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