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silkholland · 3 months

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I’ve missed these babies!! I’m so happy they’re there for each other! I just love them and I love you for writing such a masterpiece.

The Sweetness (11)

Chapter 11 | Virgin!Eddie Munson x Fem Reader

𑁍Eddie and reader deal with the fallout from Richie’s unexpected visit, and Eddie decides it’s time for both of you to come clean about your pasts 𑁍

Series warnings: 18+ minors dni, eventual smut, angst, mentions of injury, body image issues, physical and emotional abuse, drug and alcohol use

Chapter warnings: descriptions of physical violence against reader and description of injuries, angst, alcohol mentions, death mentions, a lot of tears but a lot of comfort too, swearing, and finally smut, loss of virginity, mention of oral (m receiving), fingering, unprotected piv, breeding kink if you squint. 13k.

A/N: I am so sorry that this has taken so long, I got a little lost along the way with it but finally over the last couple of weeks I figured out where we were going. I have to say if I could go back in time and start this series over I would have likely made it less canon adjacent and removed the upside down stuff, but this is the story I’ve written so I’ve tried to weave it in as best I can. I’m feeling a little emotional that this is the penultimate chapter. We’ll be waving goodbye to this version of Eddie and reader in the epilogue, and I almost can’t bear to let them go. I hope you all enjoy this chapter. Much love xxx

Series masterlist

𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍

Voices from the living room rouse you from your slumber. That’s the thing you’ve come to learn with trailers, the walls are so thin that conversation carries throughout the entire house.

“It’s nice to finally meet y’all. I’m just sorry it’s under these circumstances.” You hear Wayne say, his voice a low rumble. Squinting in the dim light cast from your bedside lamp, you twist your head to look up at Eddie.

“I think your family are here sweetheart.” He says softly.

“Where is she?”

Your mom’s voice is strained, thick like it always is when she’s been crying.

“In her room.” Shannon replies.

Anxiety twists in your belly, like a fist has grabbed your guts and squeezed. You scramble to sit up, a whimper escaping your lips as the hurried movement makes your back blaze with heat.

“Honey?!” Your mom shouts. She definitely heard your pained sound.

Her footsteps thud along the hallway. Within seconds the doorknob is rattling.

“Just a second.” You croak.

You’re suddenly aware of your state of undress. And while of course it wouldn’t be the first time your mom or sister had seen you without a top on, you didn’t want your dad barging in here while your chest was bare. You also wanted to shield them from your injuries.

“Here.” Eddie says. He holds out a loose grey t-shirt. The one he’d worn two nights ago. The one that Richie had found.

The memory of him clutching the fabric in his fists as he stared down at you, an icy cold rage on his features, makes your stomach churn. Still, you lift your arms gingerly, letting Eddie slip the shirt over your head. It’s soft and loose, and it smells like him. It soothes instantly, much like the balm that Shannon had some carefully smeared across your split skin before she applied the dressings.

Your mom has obviously had enough with waiting. Your bedroom door swings open, banging against the wall so hard you flinch. She’s a blur crossing the room, falling to her knees at your feet as she clutches your face in fingers chilled by the cold outside.

“Oh my darling. My sweet sweet girl.” She sobs.

You’re crying so hard with her that you barely register your father and sister stumbling into the room. They all grab hold of you, your mom burying her face into your knees, your baby sister winding her arms around one of yours, your dad cupping your cheeks and pressing kisses to your forehead. It’s like they all can’t believe you’re still here, and they need to hold onto you to make sure you don’t suddenly disappear.

It takes a while for everyone to settle. You’re all crying too hard to say much of anything. Between sobs your dad murmurs quiet “I got yous”, your mom telling you she loves you over and over again.

When the tears finally dry out, your parents settle either side of you. Eddie moves to take the stool by your dressing table. Baby sits by his feet, her head tilted back and resting against his legs. He’d been whispering quiet words of comfort to her as she cried, and even now that she’s stopped his hand continues to gently squeeze her shoulder. It makes you so proud and so thankful you could start crying again.

Your dad clears his throat.

“Uh- Eddie. Sorry, but do you think.. could you give us a moment alone? As a family, please.” He says.

Eddie’s eyes dart to you.

You give him a small nod.

“S-sure. Sure thing. I’ll uh - I’ll be in the living room, okay?” He says to you.

“Thank you.” You mouth.

Once he’s gone and the door is closed you have to go through the hell of telling your family what happened. Recounting every awful detail, stopping every now and then to breath deeply. In through your nose and out your mouth, like your mom taught you when you’d be hit by a sudden panic attack.

“Why didn’t you call us Honey?” Your dad asks.

“He wouldn’t let me use the phone.” You whisper.

“Couldn’t you have gone to the neighbours? Waved someone down through the window or something?”

“John!” Your mom snaps. Her tone is biting, eyes fixed in an icy glare that has him shrinking.

“Sorry. I’m not blaming you Honey, you know that. I just hate the thought of you being so helpless. Thank god Eddie answered when he did. If he hadn’t.. I - I.. it doesn’t bare thinking about.”

His glassy eyes are unfocused, lips pulling down into a sad pout. You know he’s thinking about how much worse it could’ve been. Judging by the heavy silence, they all are. Your moms hand stops it’s soothing motion on your arm, fingers gripping your bicep tight.

“Still,” your dad says, sniffing and wiping at his eyes.

“We won’t have to worry about that once we get you home. We can keep you safe there.”

“Home?” You whisper.

“Yeah. We’ll pack a few bags in the morning and drive back. I’ll rent a van in the new year and come back for the rest of your stuff.”

“Dad, I’m not going home. I’m staying here.” You reply.

“Honey, it’s not safe for you here.” Your mom says softly.

“Richie knows where you are, we can’t just let you stay. He’ll come back.”

“I’m not leaving.” You say, firmer this time.

“Honey-“ your dad starts, the same authoritarian tone he used to combat your teenage rebellion. His jaw clenched tight, the muscles in his cheek twitching.

“I’m not going anywhere!”

Everyone flinches at the sudden increase in volume. You don’t mean to snap, but panic is bubbling in your belly, your chest feels tight. You can’t leave Hawkins. You can’t leave Eddie.

“Young lady, you need to think about what’s best for you.” Your dad says firmly.

Leaping up from the bed, you spin on your heels and aim a scowl in his direction. The sudden movement aggravates your injuries, has the swollen and tender skin pulling taut. You blink back the tears that spring in your eyes, determined to hold your composure.

“I have a life here. I have friends, a job, Eddie. I’m not letting Richie take that all away from me.”

Your dad’s brows marry in a deep frown, his mouth opening to bite back. He’s stopped by a gentle hand on his forearm.

“John,” your mom whispers.

“Let’s leave this conversation for now. We can talk it over in the morning. I think we could all do with some rest.”

You can see his internal conflict, his mouth opening and closing silently as he tries to determine if he’s got the energy for this battle right now. After a moment he sighs.

“Fine. We’ll talk about it in the morning.”

𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍

Eddie jumps up from the couch when you all emerge from your room. He’s alone. He wrings his hands, spinning the silver bands around his fingers with a nervous energy.

“S-sorry. That I’m still here, I mean. I can go if you want.” He says, glancing nervously at your parents.

You cross the room, laying your head on his shoulder, his curls tickling your face.

“I don’t want you to go.” You murmur.

Some of the tension in his body eases, his hands resting gingerly on your waist.

Behind you your dad clears his throat awkwardly.

“We uh - need to figure out the sleeping arrangements.” He says.

“Well Honey needs her bed, she’s got to be comfortable. Maybe you and I can squeeze onto the couch, and we can put some cushions down on the floor for Baby.” Your mom suggests.

“You guys won’t both fit on the couch. You should take my bed.” You offer.

“Well you’re certainly not sleeping on it. Or the floor.”

“Um, Honey c-could sleep at mine.” Eddie says, so quiet you wonder if he’d even spoken at all.

“That’s a good idea. Then you guys can have the bed and Baby gets the couch.” You say.

“No. I don’t mean any disrespect Eddie, it’s a very kind offer, but Honey needs to be here with us tonight.”

“Dad-“ you whine.

“I’ve stayed there plenty of times before. I’ll be fine.”

Your dad rolls back his shoulders, gearing up for another argument.

“I think that’s a perfect idea. As long as it’s okay with you Eddie.” Your mom smiles.

“Of course it is.” He says.

Outnumbered, your dad gives up on his protests. He watches wordlessly as you slip on your sneakers, Eddie carefully draping your coat across your shoulders to protect you from the cold outside.

Your mom cups your face, pressing a peck to the tip of your nose.

“Come wake us if you need anything.”

“I will. I promise.”

𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍

The creaking of the porch steps shatters the perfect silence outside. The lights are off in every trailer except Eddie’s, the drama of the early evening over with. He holds your hand tight as you cross the snowy ground, clouds of white exhaled with every breath.

His front door is unlocked from his hasty exit. A pile of tapes sits stacked on coffee table, between packets of Red Vines and an overflowing ash tray.

“We missed movie night.” You say sadly.

“Yeah. We can watch one tomorrow if you like?” Eddie offers.

Your heart twinges, more anxiety twisting your guts. If your dad gets his way you won’t be here tomorrow.

But there’s no way you’ll let that happen.

“That’d be nice.” You smile.

You follow Eddie down the threadbare carpet that leads to his room. He lingers at the door, fingers wrapped around the handle but unmoving.

“What’s wrong?” You whisper.

Eddie’s shoulders droop as he exhales a heavy sigh.

“I uh - I just remembered it’s a bit of a mess in here.” He admits.

“I don’t care about that’s silly.” You say lightly. You hope the gentle sweeping of your hand across his back will soothe him, but he still grimaces when he finally opens the door.

A bit of a mess is somewhat of an understatement. It looks like a miniature hurricane tore through his room. The contents of his desk are strewn across the floor, the pages of his favourite books, so lovingly cared for over the years now crumpled and torn. The shelves on the wall are empty, all the items swept away, leaving ghostly imprints in the dust from where they once sat.

“What happened?” You ask.

Eddie shrugs, hiding his blushing cheeks behind a curtain of hair as he squats to pick up some of the mess.

“I kind of lost my shit last night.” He admits quietly.

The searing pain of guilt hits you hard, like a red hot knife sliding through the gaps in your ribs to tear at the softness of your insides. You’d hurt him, you knew that. But faced with the reality of it is, the consequences of your actions, you feel sick, bile rising in your throat and burning.

“I’m so sorry Eddie.” You choke out.

He looks up over his shoulder, eyes rounding owlishly when he sees your tears.

“No, sweetheart! It’s okay. You don’t have to say sorry.” He says softly. Rising to his feet he cups your cheeks, wiping away the salty drops before they can reach your jaw.

You’re crying hard again, overwhelmed with guilt and fear and pain. Thoughts swirl around your mind, shouting in a tangled mess that you can’t decipher, you don’t know which to focus on, which to silence.

“I can sort this in the morning. Let’s just get some rest, yeah? You need to sleep.” Eddie whispers.

He leads you to his bed, only dropping your hand to lay back in his usual spot. He fluffs the pillows on your side, but you ignore them, letting your weary head rest on his chest once again.

“I’ve got you.” He murmurs, stroking your arms with his rough palms. The steady thump of his heart soothes you, your own slowing to match his tempo. Your sobs reduce to wet sniffles, breathing coming easier now that you’re wrapped in his warmth and his scent.

Your body aches with exhaustion, but your mind is far from tired. All those thoughts still bouncing around inside your skull.

“I should’ve told you. I should’ve told you everything.” You whisper.

“I understand why you didn’t. It’s okay. B-but you know you can, right? You can tell me anything.”

Raising your head, you look into Eddie’s eyes, finding nothing but kindness and affection.

“I want to. I don’t want there to be anymore secrets.” You admit.

“Okay. No more secrets.” He agrees.

So you tell him everything.

You have to look away at some points, can’t stand the anguish on his face. Your eyes focus on the flaked plaster of the wall as you talk, starting at the beginning and guiding him through your troubled past. You don’t hold back, whispering in the dark all the details you’ve never said out loud before. It hurts to relive it, but Eddie’s arms around you provide you with the safety net that you need. You know he’ll catch you if you fall.

When you’re finished, the room is quiet for a moment. Shrouded in darkness, the only sounds your quiet breaths.

Eddie finally breaks the silence.

“You’re so brave Honey. The bravest person I’ve ever met.” He whispers.

“M’not.” You grumble.

“I’m not brave like you.”

“You are.” He says, firmer now.

“I’m a damn coward in comparison to you. Jesus, the things he did, the things you’ve been through. And you’re still the sweetest girl. You didn’t let him change you, make you bitter or cruel. That’s real bravery.”

You wear a genuine smile for the first time that night. Eddie matches it, tracing his fingertips along the edges of your lips.

“There’s one more secret.” You admit quietly.

Worry flashes behind his eyes for just a second, before he rearranges his face to something calmer.

“What is it?” He whispers.

“I love you Eddie.”

The boy falters, blinking at your dumbly, his fingers now frozen at the corner of your mouth.

“W-what did you just say?”

“I said I love you.”

She doesn’t mean it. The cruel whisper comes to Eddie from the back of his mind.

She’s just scared. She’s lonely. She thinks she loves you but she doesn’t.

“Eddie.”

“Huh?”

“Please say something.” You beg.

Eddie’s not used to hearing those words. Sure, his friends say it, but it’s different. Wayne doesn’t say it much, the last time he heard it from his was when he finally opened his eyes in the hospital. But he knows he feels it. His mom used to say it all the time. Told him at least fifty times a day.

She means it Eddie, another voice says. It sounds like her.

He’s fighting an internal battle that feels all too familiar. Facing down the rope again, Dustin shouting his name, hundreds of leathery wings flapping and tiny bodies thumping against the walls creating an echoing roar. The choices seem simple on the surface.

Cut the rope, or don’t.

Say the words, or don’t.

But it’s deeper than that, just like it was back then. The choice is really which version of Eddie Munson do you want to be. Do you want to stick with the familiar, run like always, live with the guilt of being a coward. Or do you take the leap, not knowing where you’ll land.

He cut the rope.

He can do this too.

“I love you.”

Relief floods your face, your grin practically stretching from ear to ear.

“You do?”

“Of course I do. I love you so much.” Eddie says, his voice wobbling as tears now pool in his eyes.

You kiss him, but now the words are out he can’t stop repeating them, muffled ‘I love you’s shared between presses of lips and mingling breaths. He squeezes your face, wraps one fist in your hair, terrified that if he lets go he’ll lose you.

But you’re not going anywhere.

You’re Eddie’s girl.

𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍

Eddie wakes when he feels your weight leave his chest, skin turning cold instantly without your warmth. He opens his eyes, blinking away the blur the comes from deep sleep, finding you sitting up beside him.

You’d removed his shirt in the night. The dressings cover your back in patchwork, stuck at odd angles, a few corners peeling and lifting. He frowns. Knowing what’s underneath makes his blood feel like ice water in his veins.

Sensing him stirring, you glance over your shoulder. Your warm smiles chases away his pout, his lips mirroring yours.

“I love you.” You say in place of a ‘good morning’.

“I love you.” He repeats.

You say it again side by side at the small sink in the bathroom, the words muffled around the toothbrush you keep at his home currently scrubbing your molars.

Eddie says it back, choking on the minty foam in his mouth.

You say it a third time over coffee, peering across the steaming cup held to your lips, your eyes crinkling with the smile you wear.

He says it back again, of course.

You whisper the words like a promise, as you stand holding hands on your porch. He repeats them back with a fierce determination, bracing himself for the inevitable discussion with your parents. You squeeze his fingers, reaching up to press a kiss to his cheek.

“You’re gonna get sick of hearing me say it.” You grin.

“Never.” He replies.

𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍

The conversation with your family is as awkward as you anticipated. Sleeping on it seems to have only made your dad stronger in his conviction - you need to come home. It’s been forty five minutes with no progress.

“This is my home now dad.” You say softly.

“But how can you want to stay Honey? After everything that’s happened here?” He says exasperatedly.

“Because this is my house. I won’t let him take that from me. Plus, I’ve got Eddie.”

“No one’s saying that you have and Eddie have to end things. Plenty of people do long distance, it’s not even really that far.”

“I’m not doing that dad.” You say. You fold your arms across your chest and jut your chin out like a petulant child.

“And I’m not leaving you here. You’re coming home.”

“Dad-“ your sister says.

“Baby, this conversation doesn’t involve you.” Your dad replies, aiming a sharp look her way.

“Excuse me?” She snaps back, leaning forwards in her chair. Her mouth opens as her finger points accusingly at your dad.

“Okay, enough.” Your mom intervenes, pushing Baby back into her seat.

“John. Maybe Honey’s right.”

“Treasure, we talked about this-“

“I know. I want her home every bit as much as you do. But she’s an adult. We have to let her make her own decisions, it’s not up to us to run her life. She’s happy here.”

“B-but - it’s not safe.”

“We couldn’t protect her when she was in Chicago darling. She wasn’t safe there either. We can’t be around to keep an eye on her 24/7.”

“I know that.” He says. There’s a tremor to his voice, tears pooling in his eyes.

“I just want to make sure my little girl’s okay.” He whispers.

Your eyes prickle with their own unshed tears, your fathers figure blurring as you round the table to loop your arms around his shoulders. He lets out a quiet sob at your touch, hands holding onto your forearms.

“I know you just want what’s best for me.” You murmur.

“But I know what I’m doing daddy. I’ll be okay.”

There’s a long pause before he speaks again.

“Alright.” He says quietly.

“You can stay.”

Eddie’s remained silent up to now. He’s sat perfectly still, hands clasped together on the table top, staring at the knots in the wood as you all spoke. He clears his throat, and everyone’s heads turn to him like they’d forgotten he was even in the room.

“I uh.. I guess it’s not really my place to get involved, but..” he says hesitantly, eyes not daring to lift.

Your mom smiles, leaning over to pat him affectionately on the arm. A silent reassurance that it’s okay for him to continue.

“I just want you all to know, that I’d do anything to keep Honey safe. Anything. And I’m sorry that I didn’t do that before, but I will now.”

He finally looks up, meeting your dads eyes.

“I love your daughter. I love her more than anything. I promise I’ll treat her right.”

Your heart soars in your chest, the words still so new and exciting. You’re sure you’ll always have the same reaction to hearing them.

Baby’s grinning from ear to ear, and your mom’s face wears the same gooey expression she gets whenever she watches one of those romantic movies she loves so much. They both turn to your dad, waiting for his reaction.

“I know you will.” He says finally, a small smile breaking through.

Eddie breathes an audible sigh of relief. The tension leaves his shoulders as he leans back in his chair, looking up at you.

You press a quick kiss to your fathers cheek, letting go of him to return to your boy.

“You’re stuck with me now.” You tease.

“Wouldn’t have it any other way.” He grins back.

You kiss him, chaste given the company, but lingering and full of promise.

Baby wolf-whistles.

“Alright knock it off.” Your dad laughs, nudging her with his elbow.

You giggle too, feeling giddy with relief and joy. Surrounded by love.

𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍

Your family make plans to leave late in the afternoon. You spend the day together, everyone tidying the mess left behind by Richie. Your mom and Baby help you unpack your belongings that he’d carelessly tossed into trash bags in anticipation of your move back to the apartment. Eddie and your dad make quiet chit chat as they fill in the holes left in the plaster by Richie’s fists. By the time the sun begins it’s descent, dipping closer and closer to the horizon, almost all traces of him are gone. If it weren’t for the aching in your back serving as a reminder, you could think he’d never been here at all.

Eddie calls for pizza, an early dinner after a day of hard work. You sit on his lap in the armchair, your parents side by side on the couch, Baby cross-legged at their feet. She’s bickering with your dad over who gets the last slice of pepperoni and mushroom, when a knock at the door disrupts the cozy peace.

The cheese and dough in your mouth tastes like ash, thick and clogging, choking you. Eddie’s grease coated smile disappears in an instant. His hand on your hip grips possessively tight.

“John.” Your mom whispers, frantically turning to him.

“It’s okay. We’ve got it.” He says gravely, giving a nod to Eddie as he stands. You shuffle off of his lap, curling in on yourself on the lumpy cushions as the two men make their way to the door. Baby tosses her paper plate onto the table, the last slice now the least of her concerns. She stands, chest puffed out, fists clenched. Your mom takes hold of her wrist, willing her to remain put.

Your dad opens the door just a crack, the chain holding it in place in case someone tries to shove their way in from the outside.

“It’s only me.” A gruff voice says.

Your dad relaxes, flicking the chain off to let Hopper in.

The chief stands hesitantly in the door way, sensing the tension that his unexpected arrival has brought. Behind him an engine rumbles to life, the familiar purr of the Camaro that sat abandoned beside your home.

“It’s alright.” He says quickly, seeing your eyes widen in panic.

“Callaghan’s just taking it to the station. No one else is here.”

You nod, gulping hard, the chewed mess of pizza in your mouth resisting as you try to force it down your throat.

“Come in Chief.” Your dad offers.

Hopper makes his way into the living room, Eddie closing the door behind him as the vehicle outside crunches gravel beneath its tires.

“I’ve got some updates for you.” Hopper says.

“Please, sit down.” Your mom says, forcing a polite smile.

Hop lowers himself onto the couch. He pulls a square of folder papers from his pocket, smoothing them out over his broad thighs.

“I have to let you know, Richard’s out.” He says, looking at you regretfully.

“His parents came and posted his bail.”

Of course they did. Richie’s had his mom and dad cleaning up his messes with a swoop of a pen across their chequebooks for most of his life.

A hand appearing on your shoulder makes you jolt. But it’s only Eddie, applying gentle pressure to the knotted muscles beneath your skin.

“But I want you to know-“ Hop continues.

“He won’t come here. He knows if he so much as sets foot in this town he’ll find his ass straight back in jail.”

Hoppers fists unclench, thick fingers spreading out over the papers. Small grazes and bruises peek through the hairs sprouting from his knuckles.

He catches you looking, a wry smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

“He resisted when we tried to put him in the cell.” The chief explains with a grin.

“Busted up his face pretty good and that got him to comply.”

“I like this guy.” Baby whispers. Your mom shushes her, but you know she’s thinking the same thing.

“I wanted to give you these.”

Hopper hands you the printed sheets.

“What is it?” You ask.

“A restraining order. You sign that and he can’t come anywhere near you. Can’t write, can’t call, can’t touch you. You can take your time to read em if you want and then just-“

“No.” You say quickly.

“You got a pen?”

He reaches into his shirt pocket, passing you the biro which you use to scribble your signature on the final page of the stack.

“Right. Well I’ll get this filed, and let you know when it’s all done.”

“What happens now?” You ask.

“Judge has set an initial court date for late January. You won’t need to do anything then, but when it goes to trial they’ll want you to testify.”

“If it goes to trial.” You say bitterly.

“His family can afford some pretty good lawyers.”

“It’ll go to trial. We’ll make sure of it. But I will need you to come down to the station, ideally in the next couple of days. We’ll need to take some photos of your injuries for the reports.”

“Okay.” You whisper.

“Anymore questions for me?”

You shake your head.

“Alright then. I’ll get out of your hair.” Hopper says, rising from the couch with a groan.

“Thank you Hopper. For everything.” You smile.

“You’re welcome kid.”

He shakes your parents hands before he leaves, fighting back a grin when Baby raises hers for a high five.

Eddie runs his fingers along the nape of your neck, an absent minded gesture. He watches your family, all the tension seeming to have been sucked out like poison from a wound. Everything was going to be alright.

You were safe. Richie was going to pay for what he’d done. Eddie and you would get to be together, without the dark cloud of fear hanging over your head. No more secrets.

No more secrets.

“Uh Hop.” Eddie says suddenly.

“Yeah?”

“You got a second? To talk?”

“Sure.”

You look at him questioningly, but Eddie just forces a smile to reassure you as he follows the chief out onto your porch.

Hopper pulls a cigarette from his pocket, his words muffled by the cotton filter clamped between his teeth.

“What’s up kid?”

He sparks his lighter, cupping his hand around the flickering amber flame to shield it from the wind.

“I want to tell her.” Eddie blurts out.

“Tell her what?” Hopper asks, smoke billowing from the edges of his lips.

“Everything.”

Hop freezes. His brows furrow, eyes darting to the door.

“Are you sure?” He says quietly.

“I’m sure. I have to Hop, I can’t keep this from her.”

Eddie’s expecting a lecture. Hopper will leap into a rant, telling him all the reasons why this idea is stupid, reckless, dangerous. He’s putting everyone at risk with this choice. They all made the same agreements, signed the same documents, all understood the grave consequences if any of the truth were to come to light.

“Okay.” Hopper says.

“Look I get it but I can’t just - wait. What?” Eddie asks.

“I said okay. If you want to tell her, then you should.”

“Seriously?”

“Eddie listen. You and I both know you’ve made some stupid choices in the past.”

Hopper gives him a knowing look. Eddie can almost feel the cold bite of cuffs around his wrists, a sensation he grew accustomed to back when he was dealing.

“But you’re not some dumb little kid now. You’re a grown man. If you trust this girl, then I trust your judgement.”

“Th-thank you Hop.” Eddie stammers.

The older man dismisses him with a wave of his cigarette.

“But before you tell her anything, I think you should talk to the others. This is something that they should all get a say in.”

“I will.” Eddie nods.

“Alright. I’ve gotta go. Go see your girl Munson.” Hopper smiles, flicking the butt of his cigarette out into the snow before making his way back to his car.

Eddie hurries in to the warmth of your home, his stomach knotting at the thought of the discussions he’d have to have with his friends, and the potential conversation with you that would follow after. After all this time, he’d finally found happiness. It could all come crumbling down around him so easily.

“You okay?” You whisper. Eddie jumps, not realising you’d crept up beside him. Your warm fingers wrap around his icy ones, chasing away the stinging pain of the cold.

“Yeah. I’m okay.” He says, pulling you close to leave a kiss on your forehead. His lips linger there. Breathing in deep he savours the smell of your skin, and the sweet scent of your shampoo, your warmth making his lips tingle. He silently prays that he’ll get to keep holding you this way, even once you know the truth.

𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍

The days between Christmas and New Year’s have always felt strange. They exist in a limbo, lacking the usual structure that comes from work and responsibilities. You lose track of the days, they all blend into one long stretch, spent in a quiet cozy bliss with Eddie by your side.

There’s still moments of pain, of course. Nights when you wake in a cold sweat, heart beat pounding in your ears, the skin of your back searing like the blows had landed just seconds earlier. You’d cry out when Eddie reached for you, caught in that space between sleep and consciousness, unsure of who’s hands were curling around your wrists. But his voice always brought you back. That low timbre, rough from sleep but still soft and gentle.

“You’re okay. It’s just me. I’ve got you.”

Sleep soon pulled you back in, with his arms caged around you and your head rising and falling in time with his chest. Sometimes the nightmares would repeat themselves. Unable to move, unable to scream, as the dark figure in your mind unleashed his fury. Sometimes the dreams were sweeter. Eddie reaching you in that otherworldly place, his bright smile and tender touch making a small smile pull at your lips even as you slept.

New Year’s Eve was a quiet affair for you both. You politely turned down the invitations from your friends, not quite ready to leave the solitude you found yourselves in. They didn’t mind, understanding that you needed time.

You sat at either end of the couch, socked feet pressed together, a slow game of footsie as you each turned the pages of a novel. Sipping cold beers at the kitchen table, Eddie taught you to play poker. He beat you every time, not that you minded. As midnight drew nearer, he held you close in his bed, legs entwined beneath the sheets. When cheers rang out across the park from your neighbours he kissed you sweetly, so full of love and promise. You fell asleep together as fireworks burst above the trailer, flashes of bright light illuminating the room.

𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍

January 3rd, Eddie asked you to come with him to visit his friends. You were still sore, but slowly healing, now able to lean back against the seats in the van without wincing. You’re excited to see everyone, wanting to catch up and hear how they celebrated the New Year. Eddie doesn’t seem to share in your excitement. He’s oddly quiet, not singing along with the radio during the drive. His fingers tap an anxious beat on the steering wheel, only ceasing when your fingers entwine with his, pulling his hand across to rest in your lap.

“Is everything alright?” You ask.

“Y-yeah. All good.” He replies unconvincingly.

“Eddie.” You say, encouraging him to just tell you whatever is on his mind.

He sighs, squeezing your hand tighter.

“You said no more secrets.” He murmurs.

“What?”

“Before. When you told me about Ric- about everything. You said you didn’t want there to be anymore secrets between us.”

“I - I did.” You confirm hesitantly. Your stomach churns. You didn’t like where this was going.

The van slows to a stop on the road outside Steve and Robin’s house. The driveway is already full, some vehicles you recognise, others you don’t.

Eddie knocks the van into park. He turns to look at you, eyes glassy with unshed tears.

“There’s some stuff I’ve not been entirely honesty about.” He admits.

“I want to tell you the truth. B-but, it’s going to be hard for you to believe. That’s why we’re here. I’m hoping if you hear it from all of us, it’ll be a little easier for you to get your head around. I just - I need you to know that I love you. I love you, and I’m sorry for not being honest before.”

“Eddie, you’re scaring me.” You whisper.

“I know. I’m sorry. If any of this changes things, changes how you feel about me, then I understand. But I need you to know.”

Your mind reels, fear settling deep in your bones and making you ache. It was impossible to imagine what could ever make you change your mind about him, about how much you adored him. But the seriousness of how he was speaking seemed to shake the foundations of everything you’d built together.

“Is it bad?” You whisper.

Eddie grimaces and exits the van without a word.

It feels like you got your answer.

𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍

The set up in Steve’s living room feels oddly formal. Everyone else has beaten you here and filled the room. Steve and Robin on the two seater. Hopper, a man you don’t know, and a bunch of the kids sit on chairs dragged through from the dining room. Dustin, Mike, and Lucas have been left cross legged on the floor.

There’s two empty spaces on the larger couch beside Hopper’s wife, Joyce. She gives you a reassuring smile as you step into the room.

“H-hey guys.” You say quietly, breaking the awkward silence.

“Hey Honey.” Steve says softly.

“Come take a seat.”

You do as instructed, lowering yourself cautiously onto the cushions. Every pair of eyes in the room focused on you. You find yourself longing for Eddie to hold your hand, but he’s curled in on himself, body pressed to the arm of the couch like he’s trying to put as much distance between you as possible. Dustin reaches up to pat him on his knee.

“Right-“ Steve starts, clapping his hands together and making you jump.

“Hold up!” The bearded man next to Hopper interrupts.

“We’re not just jumping straight into this.”

Dark eyes narrow at you behind thick lenses. He pulls a notepad from his pocket, clicking his biro and aiming it at you.

“Name.”

“Uh - H-honey.” You stammer.

“Full legal name.” He demands.

You answer him, glancing across at Joyce who looks at you sympathetically.

“Where are you from?” The man continues.

“Murray. Do you really need to interrogate her?” Hopper drawls.

“Excuse me for showing a little concern. Given our current situation, and the mess that you’re dragging me into, I think I’m well within my rights to a few questions!” Murray snaps.

“No one dragged you into anything Murray, we told you you didn’t have to come.” Joyce says.

Murray laughs bitterly.

“Plausible deniability isn’t really going to cut it here Joyce. If we’re doing this then I need to know exactly who I’m entrusting my life to.”

You can’t help but let out a giggle. Murray looks at your furiously, a vein on his forehead threatening to burst through his skin.

“What exactly is so funny?”

“W-well it’s just.. Is this really that serious?” You grin. You look around at your friends, expecting to see them smiling too, but most of them just grimace. Some avoid your eyes.

“This is just great. If she’s not going to take this seriously then-“

“That’s enough.” Hopper barks. He swats the notebook out of Murray’s hands.

“She’ll take it seriously. And she’s fine, she isn’t connected to anyone. We can trust her.”

“I’ll just take your word for it, shall I Jim?” Murray says sarcastically.

“For Christ sake I ran a background check! On her, her whole family - they’re fine.”

You sit up straight. Hopper had run a background check on you? What on Earth could he have been looking for?

Murray opens his mouth to protest, but he’s stopped by a shush from Joyce. She takes your hand in hers.

“Honey. We’re about to tell you some things that you will find to believe. You’ll probably be confused, but just let us get it all out, then I promise we’ll answer any questions that you have at the end, okay?” She says softly.

“O-okay. I won’t interrupt, I promise.”

“The other thing you need to know is how serious it is that what we tell you does not leave this room. We all signed a lot of legal paperwork, no one here is ever supposed to reveal any of this to anyone. There would be grave consequences if anyone were to find out about this conversation. But Eddie… well we know how fond of you he is. And he wants to give you total transparency. We’ve all agreed-“

“Some of us begrudgingly.” Murray mutters. Joyce rolls her eyes and continues.

“We all agreed, that it was okay for you to know. But we’re trusting you with a lot. Do you understand?”

“I think so. Y-yes.” You say.

“Alright then.” She smiles.

“El? You still okay to start?”

“Sure.” The pretty girl opposite you says.

“A few years ago, there was this lab in Hawkins…”

𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍

You don’t believe it.

You can’t believe it, at least, not at first. Squirming with embarrassment, you feel your face grow hotter, burning up with the thought that you’re the butt of some joke. They must all think you’re an idiot, how could anyone ever believe the things that they were saying?

But they all speak with such conviction. El, Will, Nancy, Steve. They all wear the same expression, devoid of any humour, so serious that nagging anxiety has your stomach in knots.

The kids periodically bicker over the details, disputing timelines or who said what. Hopper quickly steers them all back on course. Murray’s nerves are getting the better of him, he gives up on sitting after the first twenty minutes, pacing back and forth across the shag carpet, occasionally glancing your way to gauge your reaction.

You want to get up and pace too. Better yet, you want to bolt for the door, just keep running so you don’t have to hear anymore of the horrors your friends are recounting. But you can’t move. Frozen in place, gripped by ghostly hands that keep you pressed to the couch cushions.

Eddie has turned to stone at your side. He hasn’t moved or spoken even once. You’re trying your best to concentrate, eyes focused on Max as she talks about the mall fire that wasn’t really a fire. You can see her lips moving, her hands gesticulating as she speaks, but her words don’t reach you. You’re too busy trying to work out where Eddie fits in to all of this. His name hasn’t even come up yet.

“Honey.”

The sound of your name pulls you from your spiralling thoughts. Nancy is looking at you expectantly.

“Sorry. What did you say?” You ask.

“I said, has Eddie told you anything about what happened in ‘86?”

The boy at your side sucks in a sharp breath.

“Um. A few things. But I - I don’t-“ You’re unsure how to admit that you don’t know how much was a lie.

“Eddie? Do you want to tell Honey about what happened to Chrissy?” Nancy says softly.

You turn to look at him for the first time since the conversation began. He’s still pressed to the side of the couch, spine twisted at an awkward angle that must have his back aching. His bottom lip has turned bright red from being clamped between his teeth. He shakes his head.

“Okay. I’ve got it.” Nancy says.

Her bright blue eyes meet yours, pouty lips turned down at the corners.

“We went to school with a girl called Chrissy Cunningham. She was popular, cheer captain, a really sweet girl. None of us knew her that well, but she was nice. She was having a hard time, I guess you could say. So she went to Eddie looking for a way to just forget it all for a little while. D-do you know what I mean?”

You nod.

“Eddie took Chrissy back to his home. And - and something happened.”

Nancy takes a shuddering breath in. Your body tenses, preparing for whatever she’s going to say next.

The words rush out, like she’s eager to get it over with. She no longer meets your gaze, just stares down at her hands clasped in her lap as she speaks.

A shiver ripples up your spine, scalp prickling as your hairs stand on end. You swallow a gulp, realising you’ve been staring at Nancy in horror, slack jawed.

After everything else you’d heard, you knew it would be bad. But there was no way that your mind could have conjured up an image as horrific as this. It was so terrifying that there’s no way it could be anything other than the truth, no sane person could make this up.

Horrified shouts fill your head, Eddie’s voice crying out in terror. You can almost see the way his face would have twisted in anguish, tears streaming down his cheeks while he watched on helplessly, as his classmate’s body contorted and twisted and snapped on the ceiling above him.

How could he stand it? To keep living there now, seeing the same place every day, where her lifeless body finally fell in a crumpled heap. It must be torture.

Without thinking, you reach across and grab Eddie’s hand. He flinches at the sudden touch, but you just need something to ground you, to keep you here with him. Thankfully he doesn’t pull away. His trembling fingers entwine with yours, gripping so hard you’re sure he needs this every bit as much as you do.

You sit silently as the group finish recounting the events of that spring. A sharp pain is aching behind your ribs.

Your friends, these people you’d grown to care for so much in such a short space of time - they’d all been through so much. They’d all come so close to death on multiple occasions, and they were just kids at the time. Children fighting unspeakable horrors that would reduce grown men to tears.

“Eddie was in the hospital for a couple of weeks. The bats really did a number on him. And Max…” Lucas’s voice trails off, his eyes misty.

“I took a while to wake up.” Max says matter of factly. She reaches over to take her boyfriends hand.

“But I’m fine now. We all are.”

“And that’s what matters most. You’re all safe.” Joyce says.

The room falls to silence. Everyone’s looking at you, waiting for your reaction. You feel yourself shrink. All of your problems, all the things you’d ever worried about, they seem to pale in comparison to what you have just heard. You feel so small, so insignificant, so selfish for being too caught up in your own problems to realise just how much the people around you were hurting.

A sob breaks free from your throat before you can silence it.

“Oh Honey, it’s okay.” Joyce says softly.

The fact that she’s comforting you makes you just cry harder. You can’t stand it, the way that her concern is focused on you, making sure you’re okay.

“I-I’m sorry.” You say, trying to stifle the sobs that continue to shake your chest.

“You’re alright Honey. It’s a lot.” Robin says quietly.

Your cries seem to echo in the large room, everyone else quiet. You turn to Eddie, still silent and unmoving. His figure is blurred by the wet mess of your eyes, just a dark shape curled up tight.

“Why don’t we give them a minute.” Steve suggests.

Everyone murmurs in agreement, slowly shuffling out of the room. A hand lands on your shoulder giving a reassuring squeeze, but you’re too focused on Eddie to see who it belongs to.

Finally alone, the space between you feels bigger. Cavernous. Eddie’s thigh brushes yours, but he might as well be miles away. Dark doe eyes vacant, refusing to look at you.

You say his name, a quiet croak from how tight your throat feels. His lids close, a deep breath drawn in through his nose, preparing himself. When he finally looks your way, his eyes shine with their own tears, fat salty droplets spilling over his lashes and trailing down his cheeks.

You throw yourself head first into that cavern. Crossing that space between you, your arms flung around his shoulders, your face buried into his neck. He holds you close, tight, a little pain stinging in your back from the crushing weight of his hands, but you don’t care. Warm musk and spice from his cologne snakes it’s way into your nostrils, the firmness of his body pressed to yours making the tears fall harder.

You could have lost him. Before you’d even known him, before he even brought so much joy to your life, his sweetness chasing away the sour taste left behind by a bitter and broken love. He could’ve disappeared. Leaving behind a world less bright, less full.

No words are spoken. They don’t feel necessary. Just two sets of quiet sobs, two bleeding hearts, two bodies tangled together seeking comfort and safety.

Time passes slowly. Stretching out, seconds passing like the languid drop of thick treacle. You hold Eddie so tight his bones could turn to dust with your touch. The steady pulse thrumming in his neck tickles your lips that graze there.

“I’m so glad you’re still here.” You admit with a whisper.

Eddie pulls back, his hands still holding you close, just creating enough space for him to look down at you.

“Do you… do you still feel the same about me?” He asks. Pain so evident in those chocolate pools. Fear making his bottom lip tremble.

“Of course I do. I love you.” You reply.

It’s so easy to say. As natural as breathing.

“I love you too.”

His voice wobbles, throat thick with emotion. One rough palm cups your cheek, such a gentle touch, cradling you like a precious gift. When you kiss him, your lips chase away his fears. Make him forget, at least for a moment, all the turmoil and destruction that litters the path his life has taken.

It’s all been worth it.

Because it lead to you.

𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍

The journey home is as silent as the drive to Steve’s had been. You’re replaying it over and over in your head, and you know Eddie must be doing the same. But his right hand never leaves yours, fingers entwined, thumb rubbing over your knuckles with a firm pressure. It feels good to feel his touch. You wonder if you’ll ever be able to let him be away from you again, needing the constant reassurance of his hold on you to know that he’s not going anywhere.

The day is still young when you arrive back at the park, the early afternoon sky tinted a soft peach. The sun peeking through thin cotton like clouds. The worst of the snow is over, the gravelly voice on the radio informs you. Brighter days are coming.

Outside the van you linger, glancing hesitantly towards Eddie’s home. You feel safe there, comforted by the scent, the coziness, the slight clutter of a lifetime of belongings filling the small space. But it makes you a little nervous now, that tiny trailer, with its peeling paint and snow soaked porch. If you step inside, will you see the ghost of a young girl there? Hanging from the ceiling like macabre marionette, her strings all tangled and broken.

“Shall we go to mine?” You whisper.

“Yeah.” Eddie replies softly, relief evident on his face.

𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍

Your boots and coat are quickly shed, and Eddie turns up the radiators, chasing away the cold that’s seeped in. The clock on the wall in the kitchen tells you it’s almost three. But you’re tired, limbs heavy and head heavier. So you make your way to your room, laying on top of the sheets curled on your side, Eddie’s body settling into the space beside you.

His chest rises and falls steadily in time with his deep breaths. Your hand rests there, feeling the thump of his heart beneath the cotton and skin. A slow pace, calm and reassuring.

Your eyes trace down to his belly, hidden away from you. That’s where he’d been bitten, Steve said. Where the worst of the damage was.

It hits you then, the realisation that you’ve never seen them. Eddie’ scars. You know he must have them, Steve had lifted the hem of his own sweater to reveal the twisted skin left behind by sharp teeth and vicious mouths.

You’ve never seen Eddie without a shirt on. You’re unsure how you’d missed that detail in all the time you’d spent together. He’d been hiding from you in plain sight.

The muscles of his stomach tense when your hand slides down to rub over his belly. Your touch is light, gentle. You’ll stop if he asks you to.

“Can.. can I see?” You ask quietly.

Eddie gulps. He’s breathing quicker now, panic evident in those dark eyes you adore so much.

“Um. Y-yeah. Okay.” He whispers.

He closes his eyes when your fingers curl around the bottom of his shirt. Grits his teeth when you lift it slowly.

Alabaster skin is revealed. Soft and plush, a little pouch on his lower stomach. A trail of dark hairs sprouts beneath his navel, disappearing under the waistband of his boxers. Your fingers itch to stroke them, follow them down to what’s waiting under denim. But your eyes can’t move away from his skin. Gnarled and raised, large patches of scar tissue littering his sides, over his narrow hips and up to his waist. Paler than the rest of him, some areas tinted the faintest rose. The bites must have been deep. Huge chunks of him ripped away. It makes your heart scream in your chest.

“S’gross.” Eddie mumbles, cheeks flushed ruby red.

You’re reminded of that late summer barbecue, only a few months earlier but it feels like a lifetime now. You’d said the same thing when Eddie spotted the burn on your thigh.

“It’s not gross.” You say softly. Your fingers dance over his scars, tracing their outlines with a featherlight touch.

“There’s nothing gross about you. Every part of you is beautiful.”

Eddie’s breath hitches, a quiet squeak of surprise when you kiss him. Chaste pecks, starting at the smooth bone of his hip. Your lips explore every new part of him, kissing every scar like they could heal him. Take away the pain he once felt.

“You’re so beautiful Eddie.” You murmur against his waist.

“I love you so much.”

His hand cups the back of your head. He pulls you up gently, guiding your lips to his. He kisses you desperately, like he might never get the chance to taste you again. A pleased hum rumbles in his throat when your hand continues to lovingly stroke his abdomen. His hips buck when it slides lower, squeezing the bulge that’s straining against the confines of his jeans.

Perhaps it’s not the right time. You've both had such a long, emotionally exhausting day. But you want to make him feel good. Need to make him feel good. To show him your adoration.

The kisses grow hungrier, Eddie’s tongue pushing into your mouth. He licks into you sloppily, greedy hands cupping your cheeks, tilting your head to give him more access.

You nip at his bottom lip, harshly sucking the plump flesh. The teeth of his zipper groan as you roll it down, almost drowned out by your urgent whisper.

“I want you Eddie.”

The kisses cease immediately, Eddie’s lips frozen. You recoil, snatching your hand back from his groin.

Had you crossed a line? Maybe it really wasn’t the right time, he didn’t want to do this with you now.

“I’m sorry.” You say with a grimace.

“No. Sweetheart, I'm sorry. You haven’t done anything wrong, I’m just freaking out a bit, that’s all.” He says.

“We don’t have to if you don’t wan-“

“I do want to!” He exclaims.

“Fuck, I - I want you. I swear it. It’s just…”

His voice trails off, eyes screwed shut. His nostrils flare with each heavy breath.

“Can I tell you one more secret?” He whispers.

In all honesty, you’re not sure you can take anymore secrets. You don’t think you have the energy for anymore grand reveals of truth, you just want to forget. Get lost in him and forget it all.

But his face is scrunched up in frustration, bottom lip still swollen from your kisses now clamped between his teeth. Whatever it is is clearly weighing heavy on his mind. You owe it to him to help share the burden.

“Look at me.” You murmur. Eddie’s eyes flutter open as you push back his bangs. He finds you looking down at him, smiling softly. Lit from behind by the glow of the tangerine sky that spills through the blinds. A halo of light behind your head. His angel. His sweet girl.

“Imavirgin.”

The words fall out in a rush, all strung together from how quickly he’d tried to get them out. He cringes, feeling heat rush in his cheeks as your brows dart up in surprise. You’re quick to rearrange your face to something more neutral. Still smiling, still stroking his hair.

“Okay.”

“Okay? Is - is that really all you have to say?” He asks incredulously.

“What would you like me to say?” You reply with a shrug.

“I don’t - I don’t know. I just thought you might be… weirded out.”

“I don’t think it’s weird. I’m a little surprised, if I’m being honest. But definitely not weirded out.”

Of all the things you’d expected him to confess, this was the bottom of the list. In fact it never made it onto the list. To you Eddie was so perfect. It was hard to fathom that no one before you had ever been so desperate to jump his bones.

“It’s so embarrassing.” He groans, covering his blushing face with his hands.

“It’s not embarrassing!”

You tug on his wrists, forcing him to look at you.

“We really don’t have to, if you’re not ready.”

“I’m ready. Christ, I do not want to wait another second. I’m just worried.”

“About what? Tell me what’s on your mind, and we can figure it out.”

“Well,” he pauses, gulping hard.

“What if I’m not good at it? What if I can’t make you cum? What if I blow my load after like two seconds?!”

You giggle, peppering kisses across his heated cheeks. It’s almost unfathomable to you, how after the day you’ve both had, and the things you’ve heard, your here having this conversation now.

“You’ve never had any trouble with getting me there before.” You purr against the shell of his ear, grinning devilishly when he shivers.

“You’ll be fine. And if you ‘blow your load in two seconds’ then it’s no big deal. I’m not going anywhere. We can just try again.”

“I don’t know what I did to deserve you.” He breathes.

“You deserve everything Eddie.” You whisper, pressing a kiss to his jaw.

“You deserve the whole world.” Another kiss to his neck.

“But for now, you deserve to let me make you feel good.” A nip at his collar bone.

“Will you let me do that?”

Eddie gazes down at you like you hung every star in the sky. Your heart thumps harder, and the pulsing in your core becomes almost unbearable.

“Y-yeah.” He says softly.

With his permission granted, you finish unzipping his jeans, hooking your fingers through the belt loops and tugging as he shifts his hips. You’re surprised to find Eddie out of his usual checked boxers, loose fitting and comfortable. Instead he’s left in a pair of black shorts that hug close to his skin, taught over the firm muscles of his thighs, particularly tight where his cock strains against the material.

“These are nice.” You comment. You run your finger under the edge of the elastic waistband, pulling it back to let it snap against his skin.

“Are they new?”

“C-Christmas present from Shan.” Eddie stammers.

Smiling, your hand moves down to curl around his length, heat radiating into your palm despite the cotton barrier. Eddie whines when you squeeze him, moving your hand up and down slowly.

“Jesus.” He says quietly, dark eyes locked on the movement of your hand. When your thumb swipes over his tip, feeling sticky pre staining his boxers, his head thumps back against the pillows, hips bucking into the air.

“S’that feel good?” You ask, already knowing the answer.

“So fucking good.” Eddie groans.

The muscles in his jaw twitch, a vein thrumming beneath the pale skin of his neck, just begging for attention. You lay over him, still stroking in teasing slow movements as your lips latch onto his neck, directly over that vein. You suck hard, knowing that his blood vessels will be bursting from your pressure. You lathe your tongue over the area to soothe the burn. When you pull back you grin smugly at the bruise blooming on his quartz skin, shades of violet and rose in the shape of your mouth.

Eddie’s hand grabs your wrist, halting your movements.

“Please.” He whines.

“Too much?” You whisper.

“A little y-yeah. Sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry handsome.” You smile, releasing his length and entwining your fingers with his.

“We can take it slow. We’ll go at your pace.”

“Can I touch you?” He asks. Still so hesitant, so unsure.

“Of course you can.”

“Lay down for me?” He whispers.

“Let me get undressed first.” You smile.

It takes just seconds for you to shed your clothes, too eager to put on any kind of sensual show for him. Your sweater is pulled up over your head unceremoniously. Tights tugged down in such a hurry you tear a ladder up one leg. Skirt tossed carelessly across the room.

Left in just your underwear, you curl up against his side, hooking one knee over his hip.

Eddie’s looking at you like he’s seeing you almost bare for the first time. Such sickly sweet love written all over his face, you feel the heat of his eyes roaming your body, searing your flesh.

He kisses you gently. One hand cradling your jaw, the other holding your leg in place over him, his fingertips stroking over your own scar on your thigh. He pulls you closer, chests pressed together. But there’s still too much distance where you need him most. At this angle you can’t press your core against him, feel the delicious pressure of his length rubbing against your folds.

“Eddie.” You mewl pathetically.

“I know. I’ve got you.” He says, his voice raspy and deep with lust.

His lips move over your jaw and down your neck, sloppy kisses that leave a glistening trail in their wake. He mouths the plump flesh threatening to spill over the cups of your bra. Reaching back you try to blindly unhook the clasp, wanting the restrictive garment gone. Eddie beats you to it, a quick snap of his fingers and then he’s tugging down the cups, sealing his lips over the pebbled bud of your nipple when they’re finally free.

You gasp at the sensation of his tongue swirling over your skin, goosebumps breaking out across your flesh despite the heat that rushes in your veins. Your other breast doesn’t go neglected for long, Eddie’s rough palms kneading the fat, lightly pinching the bud between calloused fingers until you’re gasping, arching your back to push into his touch.

It feels good, but not enough. You’re growing desperate, impatiently whining his name as your hips rock. Thankfully, he gets the message, one hand dipping below the waistband of your underwear. He strokes teasingly over the soft curls on your mound, and when he finally brushes the bundle of nerves at the peak of you, you swear you see heaven.

“You’re so wet.” He whispers in awe, running through your soaked folds and bringing his now slick fingers up to rub tight circles on your clit, just like you taught him.

“It’s - oh! It’s what you do to me.” You reply.

Eddie groans, burying his face in your neck. He continues his movements, making your toes curl.

“Ed. Please, p-put your fingers in.” You beg.

“Yeah?” He whispers.

“Y-yeah. M’gonna need it. Need you to get me ready to take you.”

“Fuck. That’s.. that’s so hot.” He moans.

The first digit slides in easy, your velvet walls welcoming him home as he presses to the second knuckle. You don’t need to tell him what to do now, he’s quickly become an expert at reading your body, listening to the hitching of your breath to tell him how to move, where to press.

“Want another?”

“Please.”

Two is more of a stretch, Eddie’s fingers so much thicker than you’re own. Longer too, they find the sweet spot you struggle to reach with precision. Each pump of his hand has the heel of his palm bumping your clit, and he watches with a bright grin on his face as you ride his hand, grinding shamelessly against him.

He slips in a third finger, relishing in the moan that you release and the slick that coats his hand, causing sticky wet smacks each time he pumps his fingers.

“Oh, fuck. M’so close.” You whimper. You can feel that familiar tension growing, like a taught wire in your belly ready to snap.

“You can do it sweetheart. Just let go for me.” Eddie whispers.

Closing your eyes, you feel every muscle in your body seize tight, walls gripping his fingers so hard he can no longer pull out. Eddie presses in deep, grinding his palm against your clit. You cum hard, bright white light behind your lids that burns like the fire that licks through your body. He watches in awe as your face twists in blissful pleasure, his heart thumping when you cry out his name. As your body becomes limp and pliant he gives a few last strokes of his fingers, drawing out your high until you’re a whining, writhing mess.

The room seems hazy when you open your eyes. Through the fuzzy vignette of your vision you catch the shine on Eddie’s fingers when he brings them to his lips, pink tongue poking out to lap at the at the mess you’ve made. The sight has the dying embers of your high reigniting, more burning want blazing in your core.

“You good?” Eddie asks.

“Perfect.” You reply breathlessly.

He lets you recover for a few minutes, pulling your body close. Gentle hands smooth over your thighs, massaging skin now damp with a fine layer of perspiration, kneading and squeezing supple flesh.

When he kisses you, his lips carry the taste of your essence. Your tongue flicks over his, a smirk pulling at your lips when he groans. You break away from him, letting him suck at your neck as your hands move down to tug off his underwear. His cock lands with a sticky smack against his stomach, the head flushed pink and leaking pearlescent beads. Saliva floods your mouth. You want to taste him, press kisses to the leaking slit, feel his length fill your mouth as the end of him nudges your throat.

But you know he won’t be able to take it. His face is already cherry red, bangs stuck to his forehead, fists clenching the bedsheets when you teasingly run your finger up the side of his shaft.

With thighs still shaking from your orgasm, you move to straddle his waist, bracketing his hips with your knees.

“Wait.” He says urgently.

You keep your weight off of him, hovering above the impressive length that twitches against his belly.

“You changed your mind? It’s okay if you have.”

“No. It’s not that.” Eddie says quickly.

“I don’t have a condom. But there’s some at my place. I can run home and get one if you-“

Eddie’s voice chokes off in a whine when your fist wraps around his cock.

“It’s okay. I’m on the pill Eddie, there’s nothing to worry about.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’m sure. Besides…”

You have to duck down and bury your face against his neck, not brave enough to look him in the eyes when you speak again.

“It wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world. Y’know, if something happened.”

Eddie’s stomach flips. Were you saying what he thought you were saying?

God, the stuck up snobs of this town would be horrified at seeing a nice girl like you carrying Eddie Munson’s baby. But he wouldn’t care one bit, and deep down he knows you wouldn’t either. He can picture it so clearly: the proud smile on your face, the way you’d glow with it, one hand stroking lovingly over your swollen belly as a piece of you and him grew within.

If Eddie wasn’t worried about blowing his load in two seconds before, he certainly was now with that image in his head.

“N-no.” He says softly.

“Definitely not the worst thing in the world.”

Your lashes flutter when you sit back up, smiling down at him shyly. Your confession is weighty, but Eddie feels lighter than air.

The lovesick smile is wiped off his face when you tease the head of him through your folds. He gasps, lips in a pouty ‘o’, eyes flitting down to wear your bodies touch.

You rock your hips slowly, letting his tip nudge at your entrance, before gliding back up to your clit.

You’re so wet, and so warm. It’s a sensation unlike anything Eddie’s ever felt before, his skin so sensitive from the contact, warmth pooling in his belly. It’s so intimate too, and he’s not even inside you yet. He’s going to lose his mind.

“Ready?” You murmur. He steels himself with a deep breath in.

“Ready.” He says.

Your fist holds him firmly, guiding him in until his head pops inside your entrance. You sigh, letting your body relax as you lower yourself, only taking the first couple of inches, moving slow. It’s as much for your sake as his, even with Eddie working you open on his fingers his cock is still a stretch. But you welcome the burn, relish in it, moaning loudly as your walls adjust to let him in. After a minute of slow descent, you’re fully seated on his lap.

“You’re not a virgin anymore.” You giggle. Your laughter has your walls rippling around him, the muscles in his stomach clenched tight beneath your palms as he tries to keep it together.

Whatever response he could come up with dies on his tongue. He can feel you everywhere, wrapped around him, all soft and hot.

“C-can you give me a minute.” He spits through gritted teeth.

“Of course handsome.” You purr, delicately stroking his belly.

“I won’t move until you tell me to.”

Eddie’s breath is already coming in quick pants. He focuses on the slow rise and fall of your chest, attempting to regulate his breathing so it matches yours. But it’s so hard, your body over his a distraction. He can feel every tiny shift of your hips even when you do your best to remain still.

“This is gonna be over so quickly.” He admits sheepishly.

“It’s okay if it is. We’ve got forever Eddie.”

Forever.

What an unfamiliar concept.

There was a time when Eddie thought his death was imminent, that cloaked figure waiting around every corner for him. And even when that time had passed, and he was alive and healed, forever seemed terrifying. He was staring down the barrel of a lonely life, a pariah in his own town, no one to call his own and weather the storm with him.

Now he had you. A lifetime to spend with you.

So it was okay. It was okay if this was all over in a matter of minutes. Because when it was done, you’d curl up at his side and hold him, kiss him softly and murmur sweet words that made him giddy. He’d get to do this again. He always gets to have you.

“You can move now.” He whispers shakily.

You’re slow about it, moving carefully, eyes trained on his face for a reaction. Rising up enough to have him only halfway inside of you, before you sink back down.

It’s heavenly.

All those lonely nights with his fist wrapped around himself, years spent wondering what it was like, he could have never imagined it would be as good as this. Your body holds him snugly, he can feel every ridge and soft curve of you as you settle into a languid rhythm.

Eager hands squeeze your hips, clinging on for dear life as they move in slow circles, a dirty grind with him fully sheathed inside. The dark hair at his base is wet, matted down with the cream that’s spilled from you. Shifting the angle, those wiry curls brush against your bundle of nerves, more flames of passion and pleasure licking up your spine.

Eddie fills you perfectly. The head of his cock nudges at the end of you on each downward stroke, you swear you feel a bulging in your belly where he’s nestled deep. A second orgasm is building slowly, that tension and tingling increasing, but you’re sure you won’t get there in time. Eddie’s face is already so red, the blush spreading down his neck and chest. He spits broken curses, blunt fingernails pressing crescent moons into the fat of your hips, his legs kicking out behind you. You feel his cock twitching, and you know he’s almost there, trying so hard to keep it together.

But you don’t want that. Couldn’t care less about cumming again yourself. What you’re craving is to watch him unravel. You’re desperate to feel him let go, the warmth of him flooding within you reward enough.

You increase your speed, not as fast as you could be, but enough to have Eddie whining pathetically.

“God. S-sweetheart I - I, fuck! S’so good.” He babbles. He’s been watching where your bodies meet, enamoured with the sight of his length coated in your shine disappearing into your heat.

Now he looks up at your face, dark eyes round and wet, lids heavy.

“I can’t - Honey I can’t hold it. M’sorry.” He whispers urgently.

“Don’t hold it. Just let go Ed.” You reply.

It only takes three more strokes for him to lose control. A sticky smack of skin on skin when you slam back down, and Eddie moans so loud it’ll be a miracle if the entire trailer park hasn’t heard him. His head falls to the pillows, eyes rolling back in his skull, body shaking as his orgasm wracks through him. You feel that warmth you’d been chasing, the heavy spurts of him spilling inside you, filling you up more than you thought was possible. You choose mercy, ceasing the movements of your hips as Eddie’s buck under you, let himself move freely as the last of his high draws out.

He finally lays still. Body limp against the sweat soaked sheets, entirely spent. His chest heaves as he sucks in deep shuddering breaths. You lean forwards, peppering kisses across his pecs and up his neck.

“Fucking hell.” Eddie gasps. He fists your hair, pulling you in to press his lips to yours. It’s barely a kiss, just panting mouths meeting clumsily, teeth clinking and tongues chasing one another.

“I love you.” He sighs.

“I love you too.” You smile.

Carefully you rise up, letting his softening length slip out. You squeeze your thighs together to prevent the mess he’s made from spilling, feeling a little thrill at keeping his spent inside you.

You’ve never liked it before. Only let Richie do it once, feeling so sticky and gross afterwards that you always insisted he pull out from then on. But it feels different with Eddie, much like everything does. The heat of his release coating your walls is comforting, soothing the ache left behind by him stretching you to your limits.

Curled up at his side, you snuggle in close, Eddie’s arm wrapping around your shoulders to hold you tight.

“Was that okay?” You ask.

You’re suddenly nervous. He must have spent so long thinking about this moment, building it all up in his head. Had you lived up to his expectations?

You needn’t have worried. Eddie huffs a laugh, shaking his head in disbelief.

“Are you kidding me? That was - that was insane!”

You giggle, letting your body relax after his admission.

“Thank you.” He murmurs against the top of your head.

“Thank you. For letting me have the honour of being your first.” You reply.

“My first and my only.” He says determinedly. The butterflies in your stomach swoop and flutter with joy.

You lay back as Eddie shifts his weight, propping himself up on his forearms to lean over you.

“Was that okay for you?” He says, insecurity swirling behind his dark eyes.

“Better than okay. It was perfect.” You say honestly.

“But.. you didn’t cum again.” He says.

“No, I didn’t. But that’s okay. I -oh!”

Your words cut off in a high pitched squeak when Eddie’s thick fingers dip into the space between your legs.

“Wh-what are you doing?”

“Taking care of you.” He says plainly.

“Eddie, I came earlier. It’s really okay.”

“I want you to do it again. Want to show you how much I appreciate you.” He whispers, nipping at your jaw as your legs fall apart to give him more access. The pads of his fingers brush over your entrance, collecting your combined essence that seeps out. When those fingers slide up to rub slick circles over your clit you keen, feeling the embers of your previously denied orgasm reignite.

It doesn’t take long, the steady motion of his hand having your body engulfed in flames in mere moments. You shake and writhe beneath him, babbling his name like a prayer, letting him steal the last of your breath when he kisses you slow and deep.

Eddie holds you as you come back down. When the perspiration on your skin has cooled, and you begin to tremble from the cold and not pleasure, he sits up, extending a hand to you.

“Shower?” He smiles.

“Sounds good.” You whisper back.

𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍

Eddie leads you to the bathroom, hands entwined, chuckling at the penguin-like waddle you do to prevent his spend from leaking down your thighs.

The shower head groans and splutters when he first turns it on, before a steady stream of water finally emerges. Scorching hot, just how you like it, your tired bodies are quickly lost behind the fog of spray and steam.

Eddie’s hands wander, slippery with suds as they massage over your flesh. He kneads the muscles in your shoulders, sweeps his palms over your breasts and stomach, reaches down so carefully with a washcloth to clean the still sensitive skin between your legs. You busy yourself working your fingers through his hair, scratching your nails across his scalp as foamy white bubbles drench his curls. Neither of you have said a word since you entered the shower. Content to worship one another in a comfortable silence, stealing the occasional kiss as the water runs down your faces.

With a generous dollop of conditioner worked through his ends, you twist his hair and plop it on the top of his head in a makeshift top knot, letting the product soak in for a few minutes before he rinses. Eddie pulls at your hips, not wanting a single inch of space left between you. The scarred skin of his belly presses to the smooth flesh of your own, no longer hidden away shamefully behind a cotton barrier. There’s nothing left to hide, no secrets left to keep.

The water feels cathartic, washing away all the pain and mistakes of the past. In this tiny cubicle of glass and tiles, there’s nothing that can hurt you, nothing to ruin this perfect moment. You’re safe. You’re happy. You have your boy.

“I love you.” You say softly, voice barely audible over the hiss of the shower head.

“I love you too sweet girl.” Eddie smiles.

𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍 𑁍

Taglist: @hazydespair @emxxblog @bakugouswh0r3 @aysheashea @brassreign @secretdryrose @miarosso @thoughtsoftheantagonist @crazyworldofsiani @chaoticgood-munson @catiebethkilla @thebook-hobbit @bibooozeta @seventhlevelofhell @munsonswhoresposts2 @siriuslysmoking @micheledawn1975 @hookergutss @trixyvixx @mrmiyagislittletrees @silkholland @aactuaaltraash @skrzydlak @robyn-118 @josephquinnsfreckles @nailbatanddungeon @spaceconveyor

#eddie munson #eddie munson fic #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson fanfiction #eddie x reader #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x fem!reader #virgin!eddie munson #the sweetness #Cherie’s recs

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silkholland · 3 months

Text

Figured it would be good to post this here too.

My new tattoo.

#always the babysitter #steve harrington #tattoo #Steve Harrington tattoo #stranger things #stranger things tattoo #stranger things season 2 #tarot #tarot card #tarot card tattoo #tarot tattoo #Silkholland personal #Joe Keery #Joe Keery tattoo

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silkholland · 3 months

Text

I’ve never wanted to murder someone so much before.

I hope he gets what he deserves.

Unexpected 54

Warnings: non/dubcon, child endangerment, pregnancy, pegging, Lloyd being the worst, post partum, csection, suicidial ideation, Andy is nasty in this, and other dark elements. Not all kinks or triggers are tagged. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.

My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.

As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging.

Days pass. Weeks, maybe. There is no dawn or dusk to track the time. You are trapped in this basement, just you and Luna against the monster who took you.

Your only defense is to placate. You keep Andy happy so you can take care of your daughter. You don’t argue with his demands, you don’t push him away as he touches you, you don’t even cry when he fucks you any more. You just close your eyes and let him do what he wants. When you think about it, it’s not too much different than before.

There is no light at the end of this tunnel. If you were to get out of here, your haven is just another prison. Lloyd is only a warden with a different set of rules. For you it doesn’t matter but for Luna, she deserves better than this basement.

Andy snores next to you. It’s time like these you have the urge to hurt him. Your head is filled with violent thoughts. Not just towards your current keeper but to all the men who’ve wronged you. It’s the only strength you can find beneath the crushing weight of futility. Being angry means you still have something left.

A subtle buzz thrums through the mattress. You lean back on your shoulder and peek back at him. His phone vibrates him awake from under his pillow. You remember him tucking it under before he dozed off, likely noticing your straying eyes.

If you could just get it, you could call someone, anyone. But just like everything else, it's unreachable. The door's always locked and the conversation is already decided. He makes the rules and you follow them. It's the only way to keep Luna safe. If it was just you...

You roll onto your back as he grumbles, sliding his hand under the pillow to fumble away the notification. You glimpse the small letters before they swipe away, 'motion detected'. The screen lights up as he rubs his eyes and sits up. He bends over his lap, shrugging as he tries to loosen up his shoulders. 'Doorbell activated', the message pops up as the phone continues to jitter.

"Mmm," he searches around the floor as you sit up, your heart in your throat. Someone's here... "Better see who that is."

He grabs his grey tee shirt and swipes it over his head. You try not to show your eagerness, staying in bed as you watch him on alert. He pulls on his pants and puts the phone in his back pocket before zipping them up. Luna fusses and begins to babble. You move towards the crib and he raises a palm to wave you back.

"I got her," he goes to her as you stand, tense as he reaches in to pick her up, "shh, sweetie, daddy's got you--"

"Andy, please, answer the door," you approach him and he turns his back to you, keeping your daughter out of your reach.

"They can wait," he says as he bounces her, only for her to erupt into sobs. "Sweetie, shhh, shhh," he hushes as he rocks her, "be good for daddy, okay?"

He continues his efforts as you watch helplessly, bouncing on the balls of your feet as you try to get around him but he continues to block you out. You ball your hands, about to tear your hair out as she wails louder and louder.

"Please, let me take her--"

"Why won't she stop?" He growls, "little brat."

"Andy," you whimper as you grab for her and he elbows you away.

"I'll deal with her," he says, "can't have her making all this racket."

He stomps away from you. You're right behind him as he goes over the kitchenette and opens the lower cupboard with his free hand. He pulls out a chest under there, numbers on dials below the clasp. A lock box. He flips it open and cradles her over it.

"Andy, don't! You can't--"

"She's too loud," he bats you away, "the sooner I get up there, the sooner she can come out."

"Please don't lock my baby up," you beg shrilly, "please, let me take her. I'll get her quiet."

Your skin razes with fire and your lungs fill with acid. You try again to take her and he shoves you away so you stagger and hit the table. It jars your bad hip but you barely notice the pain as Luna's cries drive you to desperation.

"Andy!"

"Shut up!" He snarls as he forces her squirming form into the chest, "she's got about ten minutes of air..."

"Please--"

"I don't need either of you drawing attention. Got it," he braces the lid, "anything happens to me, you won't get her out in time."

Tears swell over and spill hotly as he shuts the lid and spins the dials with his thumbs. You race forward and fall to your knees, clutching at the box.

"Andy, please, I can make her quiet. We'll both be quiet!"

"Shhhhh," he pulls out his phone again, "I know you'll be quiet, honey. If you want to see our daughter again."

You nearly collapse as he spins away. You can only watch him go to the stairs and leave you to your panic. You put your ear to the top of the chest and try to hear her. It's too thick. She's going to suffocate in there. You try to pry the edge open with your nails then stagger to your feet, searching the drawers for anything to get the lid up.

Nothing, there's nothing. Your baby, your baby. You can only think of Luna and the terror of that box. You freeze only as a familiar timber rumbles from above. The walls are padded enough to dampen their words but you know that voice. Harlan...

You wait and listen. Is he looking for you? Down here, I'm down here! You want to run up and bang on the door. Even if they know you're there, they won't know the code and they won't have the time to get her out. So you have to be quiet. You have to wait.

There footsteps pass overhead like a clock counting down. You cling to the chest. Please go. Please, please, please....

You collapse over the chest and hug it. You shake as you listen to the voices above drone through the walls. Your heart beats faster and faster as the second pass. Then, it's silent.

You tremble as you stare up at the ceiling. The door opens and the footsteps come down the stairs. Andy appears, nonchalant and unbothered.

"See, that didn't take very long, did it?"

"Open it," you hiss, "please, my baby, open it!"

"Our baby," he nears and puts his hands on his hips, "don't be so dramatic."

"Please, please," you get up on your knees and grab the front of his shirt, "I'll do whatever you want, honey, please, just take her out."

He huffs and shakes his head. He rolls his eyes as he bends over the box and slowly rolls the dials.

"That jackass and his father," he scoffs as the clasp pops. He stands straight, unconcerned. "Sent them off. He... he never appreciated you. Not like I do."

You flip the lid up and scoop Luna out. She's babbling quieter than before, dazed as you touch her all over, checking her pulse and her temperature. You coo at her and rock her, quaking as your adrenaline recedes. A new wave washes for you, something hotter, something more vibrant. Anger. Hatred. Deep and pure.

You look up at Andy as you embrace your daughter. You will kill this man.

#lloyd hansen #dark lloyd hansen #dark!lloyd hansen #lloyd hansen x reader #andy barber #dark andy barber #dark!andy barber #andy barber x reader #drabble #series

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silkholland · 3 months

Text

Safe hands

Eddie Munson x fem reader

Sex has never been a pleasant experience for you. Selfish partners, anxiety, and pain have all ruined something that you should enjoy. You’re convinced there’s something wrong with you, but Eddie is determined to prove otherwise. 6k.

18+ minors dni: soft smut, oral (f receiving), mention of oral (m receiving), fingering, protected piv, praise kink (because of course there is), reader has anxiety around sex and there’s mentions of pain during intercourse. Pet names used in place of Y/N.

A/N: I know I should be working on the dozen other wips I have gathering dust, but this self-indulgent idea popped into my head and I couldn’t shake it out. So enjoy this very soft and tender smut 🖤

You’d known for a while that this day was coming. As much as you’d hoped there’d be someway to avoid it, it was inevitable that you and Eddie would find yourselves here.

It’s frosty outside. You can see the tiny sparkles of it decorating the edges of the window in Eddie’s room. The last cold snap of those long dark months, winter clinging on by its fingertips, refusing to give over to the warmth and softness of spring.

But it’s hot in the trailer. The air is humid and heavy, heat clinging to your skin, despite the layers that have been stripped away.

Eddie burns over you. Like when the sun disappeared from the sky he’d swallowed it whole, the star glowing white hot in his chest.

“You’re so fucking beautiful.” He whispers against your neck.

Your own chest feels tight, his words spoken with such soft adoration you could weep. He raises his head enough to flash you that boyish grin that you love, his lips stretched wide with it. Your fingertips trace over the dimple in his cheek.

Eddie’s hands can’t keep still. He grabs at you greedily, but still gentle, rough palms gliding over smooth skin. Cups the weight of your breasts, kneading over the cotton of your bra. He’d pulled your jumper up over your head as soon as the bedroom door was closed, giggling at the static crackling in your hair. His shirt was next to go, followed by your jeans, left in a crumpled heap on the carpet.

His pillows are soft beneath your head, your body pressed into the mattress by his weight laying over you. Thighs parted so he could slot himself between. There’s a heat blooming between your legs, made worse when the hard length that strains beneath his boxers catches there with each slow roll of his hips. As the pleasure grows, so too does your anxiety.

“There’s something wrong with you.”

The snarling voice is so clear, you find yourself turning your head, glancing around Eddie’s room. Of course there’s no one here but the two of you.

But you can still hear him. See the curl of his lips when he’d spat those words with such disdain.

Your last partner had initially thought he’d won the jackpot.

A girl who was more than happy to get on her knees for him, put his pleasure above all else, expecting nothing in return. But of course he’d wanted more from you. More than you could give him.

You’d grit your teeth and tried to relax, tried so desperately to let it happen. After a few tension filled minutes of awkward shuffling and frustrated grunts, he’d rolled off of you, snatching up his clothes from your bedroom floor.

You’d cried. Apologised. Pleaded with him to stay.

“There’s something wrong with you.” He’d said, as he slammed the door closed behind him.

“Hey.”

You blink. Pull your gaze away from the bedroom door, back to Eddie’s face. He hovers over you, eyes round with concern, brows pinched in the middle.

“Are you okay?” He murmurs.

“Yeah. M’fine.” You lie.

“You sure?” Eddie smoothes his hand across your brow, sweeping down to cup your cheek.

“Do you want to stop?”

Yes.

“No. Of course not.” You reply.

You pull him in by his shoulders, pressing his lips to yours. It’s a poor attempt at a distraction. You just can’t bear to have Eddie looking at you like that. Like he can see beneath the mask you’ve been so careful to keep in place.

You kiss him deeper, slipping your tongue into his mouth. Eddie makes a surprised sound when your hand snakes down between your bodies, reaching for the tent in his underwear.

“H-hang on. Just stop for a second, okay?” Eddie says. He pushes your hand away.

“What did I do?” You whisper.

“Nothing. It’s just.. sweetheart, you’re shaking. And you look like you’re gonna burst into tears.”

Shame twists your guts. You can feel the heat prickling your eyes, Eddie’s features blurring.

“I’m fine.” You say unconvincingly.

“Look, we don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.” Eddie says. He sits up on his knees, putting distance between you.

“I want to.” You say quickly.

“Doesn’t really seem like it. You keep looking at the door like you wanna fucking bolt.” Eddie says sourly.

He knows he shouldn’t snap at you. But it’s so hard when all of his insecurities and fears are rearing their heads once again. He’d convinced himself things might be different this time.

You weren’t using him, not after cheap weed or satiating some curiosity about whether the rumours about the freak were true. You were sweet, patient, seemed so genuinely interested in all the things that made Eddie Eddie.

But now you looked like you’d rather be anywhere but here with him.

Your quiet sob makes his chest ache. You clamp your hand over your mouth to stifle the sounds, tears steadily leaking down your cheeks and wetting his pillows.

“Hey. I’m sorry, please don’t cry.” Eddie says, that usual warmth returning to his voice. He takes your wrists and gently pulls you up, holding you to his chest as you cry.

“What’s wrong sweetheart? You know you can talk to me, right?” He says.

“I’m s-sorry. I’m ruining everything.” You sob.

“Shhhh. Stop it. You haven’t ruined anything.” Eddie cups your cheeks and tilts your head back, forcing you to look at him.

“Can you just talk to me? Tell me what’s going on in your head?” He pleads.

“I’m scared.” You admit quietly.

“What are you scared of?”

“Of.. of not being good, at all this.” You say, weakly waving your hand between your bodies.

“Of not being good enough at this for you.”

“Sweetheart, I really don’t think you need to worry about that.” Eddie says with a soft smile.

“I want you, I want to do this with you. If you’re not… experienced, that doesn’t matter. We’ll just figure things out as we go.”

You shake your head. He wasn’t getting it.

“N-no. It’s more than that. I - I can’t. I’ve never-.” Your breathing was now coming in quick pants, panic coursing through your veins. Your body trembles more violently.

“It’s alright, just breath.” Eddie says calmly.

“It hurts Eddie.”

“What hurts?”

“Sex. Every time I’ve had sex before it hurts. It’s like my body just won’t let me relax, I get so in my head and I go all tense.”

Eddie’s brows dart up in surprise, but now the words have started to flow out you’re powerless to stop them.

“The first time I thought it was normal. But then it just kept happening, every time. And some guys like it, y’know, they say it’s good that I’m tight, but it never feels good for me. And last time.. the last time I tried to do this with someone, I was so wound up, I just couldn’t. He couldn’t get it in. And I was trying to relax, and he was pushing and pushing and it’s like my body just wouldn’t let it happen. And so he left. He said there’s something wrong with me. And he’s right - I’m broken!”

Eddie’s been staring at you in horror. Jaw hanging slack, dark eyes owlish and glistening. When you stop speaking, losing yourself in more sobs, his jaw clenches tight, a deep frown on his face.

“Look at me. Sweetheart, look at me.” He orders firmly.

You sniffle, but comply, just managing to bear the heat of his stare.

“There is nothing wrong with you, you’re not broken. Fuck, I - I could kill that asshole for talking to you like that. I could kill everyone of those fuckers for not treating you right.”

“It’s not their fault.” You say weakly.

“Yes it is. Don’t defend them. It’s shouldn’t hurt sweetheart, it should feel good. God, you deserve to feel good.” He says softly. He kisses the corner of your mouth, thumbs brushing over your cheeks.

Resting his forehead against yours, Eddie looks you in the eyes.

“We don’t have to do anything, okay? I’m happy to just lay here and hold you, if you’ll let me.”

You don’t know what you did right in your life to deserve Eddie Munson. This kind, gentle boy, who looks at you like you hung every star in the sky that glitters above the trailer.

“I want to.. y’know.” You whisper.

“Okay. Well we can, but let’s talk about it first yeah?”

You nod. Eddie moves to lay at your side, arms wrapped around your waist to pull you close.

“Has it ever been good?” He asks.

“No.” You admit.

“So no one’s ever made you cum?”

“No, they haven’t.”

Eddie clears his throat.

“Have you uh.. have you ever?”

Your cheeks burn with heat.

“I have.” You mumble against his chest, too embarrassed to look at him.

“But only on my own.”

“Okay, well that’s good. Definitely not broken.” Eddie smiles.

“When you’ve slept with people before, did you tell them what you like?”

“I didn’t.”

“Why not?”

“They never asked.” You shrug.

Eddie sighs, his frown returning.

“Well that’s the problem. No two people are the same, right? You can’t just do the same thing with anyone and expect the same results. You have to take your time, figure out the person that you’re with.”

The heat between your legs is back. Your core throbs as Eddie murmurs to you, his hands stroking soothingly over your hips.

“Will you - can you do that?” You ask hesitantly.

“Of course I can sweetheart. If you want me to.” Eddie says softly.

“I do.”

Eddie nods, laying you down and resuming his previous position over you.

“We’ll go slow okay? I want you to tell me what you like, and what you don’t. Can you do that for me?”

“Yes.” You reply. It’s always so easy to say yes to him.

“Good girl.” Eddie smiles.

Your breath catches in your throat, another wave of arousal making your underwear damp.

“I - I like that.” You whisper, like it’s a secret.

“Yeah? You like when I call you my good girl?” Eddie says, his lips trailing a burning path down your neck.

“Yeah.” You sigh.

“Noted.” Eddie grins.

You giggle, peering down as he moves to your chest, mouthing over the flesh spilling from the cups of your bra.

“Can I take this off?” He asks.

Your spine curls in permission, arched so he can reach a hand underneath you. Eddie makes quick work of unsnapping the hooks. You expect him to tear the garment away in a hurry like he did with your sweater.

Instead he hooks his fingers under the straps, kissing along your shoulders and arms as he slides them down. When it’s finally peeled away, Eddie groans, pupils blown as he takes in your bare chest.

“Perfect.” He says, so quietly it’s like he’s saying the words to himself.

“Can I kiss you here?” He murmurs, one finger tracing the swell of your breast.

“Please.”

He’s so gentle. Far slower than you anticipated. He takes his time, pressing kisses to your heated skin, his nose nuzzling in the valley between your breasts. When he moves up to swirl his tongue teasingly around the hardened bud of your nipple you whine, a high pitched keening sound from the back of your throat.

It could be minutes or hours, you’re not really sure. Time slows, losing all meaning as Eddie moves across your chest. His teeth graze one bud, nipping lightly.

“I like that.” You gasp, remembering his instructions to voice what pleases you.

He responds by doing it again, just a little harder.

Eddie shuffles lower on the bed, kissing the indents on your ribs left by your bra. He mouths over your stomach, tongue leaving a glistening trail. You’re shaking again, not from nerves this time, but from the anticipation. Each inch lower brings his mouth closer to where you want him.

“Eddie.” You whine. He looks up, his chin resting on your hip.

“Yeah baby?”

Your eyelids flutter at the new name, falling so easily from his lips, now red and swollen from his kisses.

“Please.” You beg.

“Please what? What do you need sweetheart?” He says, a teasing lilt to his voice.

You squirm, body flushing hot, feeling too shy to voice your desire. But he knows without you saying a word.

“D’you want me to kiss you here?” He says, tracing a finger along the seam of your panties.

“Y-yes.” You squeak. Your hips buck, chasing his touch.

“Thank god. I’ve been wanting to get my mouth on you since the moment we met.” He admits.

You raise your hips from the bed, an invitation for you to pull off your underwear. But despite being so keen himself, Eddie presses you back into the mattress.

He sinks to his knees at the end of the bed.

“Shuffle down a bit for me honey.” He instructs, his voice low and raspy with lust. He waits patiently as you move, but unsatisfied with your position takes hold of your ankles and pulls, until your ass is right at the edge, legs draped over his shoulders.

It starts at your ankles. Chaste kisses pressed to each one. Then your calves, one being loved on with his mouth, the other massaged with his large hands. It has the desired effect, relaxing you until you’re almost boneless. No longer worried about the weight of your legs on his shoulders, you let your muscles go limp, melting into the mattress.

At your thighs his kisses become hungrier, but he never increases his pace. Kissing up up up, nuzzling the round tip of his nose into the crease where your panties rest on your skin. When you feel the heat of his breath over the cotton that covers you, you whine his name once again.

“You’re so pretty.” He says, his lips brushing the fabric as he speaks.

“Doin’ so good for me.”

The kiss he leaves on your clit is dulled by the barrier of your underwear, but it’s still enough to have the heat in your belly increasing. The gentle warmth now the crackling beginnings of a fire.

“Can I take these off?” He says, still kissing the fabric, growing damper by the second from your arousal and his mouth.

“Please Eddie.” You whimper.

You hardly recognise your own voice, you’ve never sounded like this. So fucked out, so desperate, and he’s barely even touched you yet.

He leans back as he pulls on your panties, peeling them away from your slick skin and rolling them down your legs. When you’re bared to him, he lifts your legs back into their previous position.

“Remember, tell me what you like. And if you want to stop, we can.” Eddie says.

“Okay.” You whisper.

The first kiss to your bare skin has your toes curling.

It’s almost chaste, just a delicate peck to your bud. Eddie’s mouth falls open, his breath hot as it wafts over you. His tongue inches out, an experimental lick swiped up the seam of you. He flattens the muscle, dragging it slow, chocolate eyes trained on your face for a reaction. Your head falls back to the sheets, a shuddering moan tearing from your chest. You can feel the victorious smile he wear as he continues to lick at you.

He’s so slow with it. Not hesitant or unsure. No, it’s like he just wants to take his time, savour every drop of you that spills. He alternates between dancing his tongue through your folds, and sucking your clit into his mouth, pillowy soft lips sealed over you.

You want to tell him you like it, you want him to do it more, to never stop. But you’ve lost the ability to speak.

Not that it matters. Eddie seems to read your body better than anyone before, perhaps because he’s the first to try. His gaze never leave your face, intense eye contact as he waits for the hitches in your breath and the shaking of your thighs to guide him.

He��s groaning against your flesh, like it feels just as heavenly for him as it does for you. He grips your hips, blunt fingernails digging in as he pulls you down, smothering his face with your cunt.

Those flickering flames are now a raging inferno. It feels different than anything you’ve managed to achieve on your own. Your body is burning, lava coursing through your veins, white hot heat polling low in your belly.

“E-Eddie! I’m - I’m gonna-“ you gasp. You fist the bedsheets so hard it’s a wonder you don’t tear clean through them.

He doesn’t speed up, doesn’t change anything about his movements. He continues to suck on your clit with that same firm pressure, his hold on your hips turning bruising. When you dare a glance down you find his eyes still trained on you, fire burning behind them, flecks of gold in the brown that hasn’t yet been swallowed by his pupils.

It’s enough to push you over the edge. You give in, letting the flames engulf you, sure that when it’s over you’ll be nothing but a smoking pile of ash on the bed. Your thighs clench, squeezing around Eddie’s head, but he still doesn’t stop. Languidly licking at you until you’re whining from the overstimulation, no longer rocking your hips against his face but trying to twist away from him.

He smiles up at you, slick shining on his chin and cheeks. Lips ruby red and swollen.

“How was that baby?” He asks, soothing his hands over your twitching thighs.

You’re panting, still not sure you can speak. You nod weakly, and Eddie laughs. He clambers back onto the bed, pulling your pliant body with him, until the two of you are once again settled on his pillows.

His kisses are soft and sweet, tasting of you. Eddie cradles your face in his palms, thumbs stroking over your cheekbones, while you tangle your legs with his, determined to be closer.

“You’re - you’re so good at that.” You say breathlessly.

Eddie chuckles, smiling almost bashfully, like he hadn’t just given you the best orgasm of your life.

The firm length of him is trapped between your bodies, pressed to your hip.

“I can do the same for you now, if you want.” You offer.

“That’s a very tempting offer sweetheart.” Eddie says softly.

“But I’m not done with you yet.”

You frown.

“But I already came.” You reply.

“I know. But I’ve got some making up to do. So I think you deserve another, don’t you?”

Eddie kisses your temple, the hand on your hip skimming down to cup between your legs. You’re still sensitive, jolting when his thumb brushes over your clit. But you can feel it, beneath the sensitivity, that heat still lingers.

“You deserve to feel good, don’t you baby?” He whispers into the juncture of your neck, pressing kisses there as the rough pads of his fingers swirl over you.

“Y-yeah.” You say shakily.

“Say it.” He gently commands.

You swallow the lump in your throat, his ministrations so distracting you struggle to arrange your thoughts into a coherent sentence.

“I deserve to feel good.” You whisper.

“Yeah you do. Good girl.” Eddie grins.

There’s something so unfamiliar about his touches.

They’re not hurried, not impatient, like every boy before him just looking to get you wet enough so they could take what they wanted. Eddie’s not touching you for his own benefit. He’s studying you, figuring you out just like he promised he would. Between sweet kisses he watches your face, smiling to himself when your breath shudders and your eyes roll back.

“When you touch yourself how many fingers do you put in?” He asks. The question could sound filthy coming from anyone else, but from Eddie it’s caring, like he doesn’t want to push you too far.

“Just one.” You whisper.

He nods. His fingers are still collecting your slick, bringing it up to rub frustratingly slow circles on your clit. Not enough to get you off, just keeping the embers burning.

“You want me to put one in?” He says, nuzzling his nose against your jaw.

At this point you’d usually freeze, the panic setting in. But you feel so safe, you find yourself nodding before you really register what you’re agreeing to.

“Okay. Just give me a sec.” He says.

Eddie pulls his hand away, chuckling when you whine in frustration. A kiss is pecked on the tip of your nose as his hand reaches blindly into the drawer of his nightstand. The items inside rattle for a moment while he searches, until he pulls out a small plastic bottle.

You cringe at the sight of the lube. Your ex lamented using it.

“You should be wet enough without it.”

“I’m sorry. That you have to use that.” You mumble, feeling your cheeks burn with shame.

Eddie shushes you softly.

“What are you apologising for sweet girl? I just don’t want to hurt you.” He says.

He squeezes a small amount onto his fingers, warming the gel between them. When his hand reaches back down between your legs his fingers glide smoothly, your arousal and the lube providing a satisfying wetness.

“I’ll go slow, okay?” Eddie says.

You’re so grateful for his patience, for the way he keeps checking in and reassuring you. You know you’re in safe hands.

As the tip of his finger nudges at your entrance, you feel your muscles clench involuntarily. Your teeth grit together painfully, preparing yourself for the inevitable pain.

But it doesn’t come. Eddie slides in slowly, and your walls accommodate him easily. As he reaches the second knuckle you exhale the breath you were holding.

“Keep talking to me baby. Let me know you’re okay.” He instructs.

“I’m good.” You reply.

He’s all the way in now. Eddie curls his finger, exploring inside you, his thumb keeping that torturously slow pace on your clit. You feel him brush a spot within you, somewhere you’ve never felt another’s touch before. A gasp escapes you, your hands gripping his shoulders.

“There.” You exclaim.

“Yeah?” Eddie grins.

“That’s the spot?”

“Uh huh.” You sigh.

He presses more firmly against it and you keen, hips bucking into his hand again.

The steady motion of his hand, his finger rubbing insistently over that sweet spot, and his gentle touches on your bud. It all feels so good, unlike anything you’ve ever experienced before.

“M-more.” You beg.

“You want another?”

“Please.”

Eddie’s ring finger presses in alongside his middle. It’s more of a stretch now, that familiar sting as you try to let him in. But it’s over in a second, the pain replaced with a pleasant fullness.

“That’s it. Just breath. You’re doing so good.” Eddie murmurs.

Your thighs are shaking again. You can feel the coil in your belly winding tight, each slow thrust of his fingers moving you closer and closer to the precipice.

“I can feel you squeezing me baby.” He says in awe.

“You gonna cum for me again?”

A friend once told you the French call orgasms ‘la petite mort’ - little death. You never really understood it, until now.

Those flames swallow you whole once more, and you’re so absorbed in the pleasure you could be dying in Eddie’s arms, lost to everything but him. And when he kisses you, he breathes life back into your lungs.

As the ringing in your ears subsides you can hear him, whispering praises into your hair as you come down. It’s like a prayer, those saccharine words recited with such adoration.

Eddie’s hand retreats, and you feel the loss instantly, that delicious fullness now missing.

Your chest heaves, lungs screaming as you gulp down mouthfuls of humid air, every nerve in your body quivering like a like wire.

“Oh my god.” You whimper. Your heavy lids peek open, finding the boy looking over you.

“Wasn’t too much was it?” He asks hesitantly. His bottom lip is caught between his teeth, still wet fingers tapping a sticky drumbeat on your thigh.

“No, it wasn’t too much.” You say quietly.

‘It wasn’t enough’ your heart screams.

‘Give me more. Give me everything.’

Reassured by your words Eddie breaks out into a smile, his rounded cheeks glowing a rosy pink. You love when he smiles like that. The crinkles at the edges of his eyes deepening, that dimple making a reappearance.

“You’re so pretty.” You confess, leaning up to press your lips to the divot in his cheek.

Eddie falters. His cheeks flush deeper, brows shooting up under his bangs. He grabs a fistful of his hair, tugging it across his face in a poor attempt to conceal his grin.

“What?” You giggle, poking at his sides.

“No ones ever called me pretty before.” He says. He’s still smiling, attempting to be humorous, but there’s a tremor in his voice. Like he can’t quite believe your words.

“Well they should, because you are.”

“Thank you baby.” Eddie says, burying his face in your shoulder.

“Say it.” You whisper, repeating his own words back to him. There’s a hint of teasing, but beneath it you’re deadly serious. You want him to know just how special he is.

“I - I’m pretty.” He mumbles against your skin.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t catch that?” You tease.

Eddie huffs, grinning and blushing as he raises his head.

“I’m pretty.” He repeats.

“Good boy.” You smirk.

Eddie groans, dragging his palm down his face.

“God. You’re gonna kill me.” He says.

“Not before you sleep with me I hope.”

It’s bolder than you’ve ever dared be in a situation like this. But despite the vulnerability, being completely bared to someone physically and emotionally, you know you have nothing to fear from Eddie.

“Oh. I - sweetheart, I don’t think we should...”

Eddie realises his mistake as soon as he opens his mouth. You recoil, pulling away from him like his rejection was delivered as a stinging slap to your cheek. He watches as your eyes turn glassy and your bottom lip trembles.

“No! Baby no, I didn’t mean.. it’s not that I don’t want to!” He says.

“It’s fine.” You reply quickly, the wobble in your voice suggesting it’s anything but.

Desperately Eddie grabs your arms and pulls you close before you can climb out of his bed.

“Sweetheart. Please listen to me. I want to sleep with you, of course I do. Christ, I’m hard as a fuckin’ rock here.” He says.

“It’s just, we’ve already done so much. And this was about you, not me. I don’t want you to think all of this just so I could get something out of it. I just wanted to make you feel good.”

“I want to make you feel good too.” You sniffle. You blink back the tears, refusing to let them fall.

“Please Eddie. I want you.”

Eddie’s head is telling him this is a bad idea. He should insist that you clean off and get some sleep, this can all wait for another day when your thoughts aren’t clouded by a post orgasm haze. But his heart, and perhaps another body part, are saying something different. You’re here in his bed, practically begging for him. Who was Eddie to resist such a sweet temptation?

“Okay. I’ve got you honey.”

When he kisses you, your lips part eagerly, letting his tongue snake its way in. It’s a slow waltz of two muscles, wet and warm, with so much tenderness.

When your hand reaches to touch him, Eddie doesn’t push you away this time. He moans into your mouth as his boxers are pushed down, louder still when your hand wraps around him.

You feel more confident with this part. You know that you’re good at this, have touched enough boys as a distraction from them touching you to know exactly what to do to get them to fall apart.

Your fist squeezes around Eddie’s cock, hot and heavy in your hand. The movements start slow, an echo of the way he touched you. Up and down his length, feeling it twitch in your palm. Your thumb swipes over the flushed head, smearing the beads of pre that are steadily leaking from the slit.

Eddie groans, hips bucking, thrusting himself into you fist. You pepper kisses along his jaw, down to his neck where you can suck a small bruise onto pale skin.

No one before him has been so vocal. Every soft sigh, every grunt, every strained word of praise that he utters goes straight to your core.

“F-fuck. Baby, you gotta s-stop.” Eddie stammers.

You cease your movements immediately.

“What’s wrong?” You ask.

“Nothing. Nothing’s wrong. But if you keep that up this is all gonna be over too fast.” He admits sheepishly.

You flop back onto the pillows with a satisfied grin, watching as Eddie sits up on his knees.

He reaches over you back into the drawer. Retrieving a condom, he hastily tears the foil wrapper with his teeth, rolling it down over himself. He’s settled between your legs now, squeezing more lube into his hand and giving himself a few light teasing strokes. You watch in awe at the way he touches himself, making a mental note of his speed and pressure, paying attention to what he likes.

That familiar anxiety is beginning to churn in your guts. Even in his own large fist, Eddie’s cock looks huge. A longer than average length, but it’s the thickness that has moths stirring in your stomach. There was no way this wasn’t going to hurt.

He shuffles to a better position, the head of his cock lightly pressing on your clit. As he swipes down through your sticky folds, you feel your muscles clench involuntarily.

“Hey.” Eddie says softly, pulling you from your spiralling thoughts.

“Eyes on me baby. Just breathe, and keep looking at me.” He instructs.

You nod, throat too tight for words.

You focus on those chocolate puddles of eyes, the way they never leave your face, even as his head catches at your entrance. There’s so much warmth behind them, a tenderness and care you’re not used to feeling directed your way.

Eddie presses in slowly.

The burn is intense, despite all of his hard work to get you prepared. Your brows pinch, and in less than a second it’s gone. Eddie’s pulled out, his hands rubbing soothing circles on your thighs.

“D’you wanna stop?” He asks.

“No. Keep going, please.” You manage to whisper.

He tries again. As Eddie rolls his hips forwards you exhale a deep breath, like you’re trying to blow away all the tension in your body. His head pops inside, and you just keep breathing like he told you to. A few seconds later and he’s halfway in.

The sting is already subsiding. All you can feel is that same fullness, more intense than with his fingers, and more delicious. Hooking your ankles over his lower back, you pull him closer. Encouraging him to slide all the way in, one final push having him bottoming out.

“Oh shit.” Eddie whines. His teeth are gritted, heavy eyelids fluttering.

“You’re so warm.”

“Y-you’re so big.” You squeak in reply.

His cock twitches at your words.

“S’not too much?” He asks.

“No. S’perfect. You’re perfect Eddie.” You smile.

He flashes you a grin. His body falls over yours, forearms resting on the pillow either side of your head to keep himself propped up. The new angle forces him deeper than you even thought possible. Your body feels like it’s stretched to its limits, but it’s working, your walls wrapping around him snuggly like they’re welcoming him home.

Eddie nuzzles his nose against yours, warm breath fanning across your face when he sighs in pleasure.

“You can move now, if you want to.” You murmur.

With your permission granted, Eddie rolls his hips back. Pulling out halfway only to sink back into your heat. You can feel him everywhere: the smooth glide of his cock pressing into you, his hands in your hair, bellies damp with sweat stuck together, his lips ghosting over yours. Each slow thrust has the wiry curls at his base stroking over your clit, swollen with all the attention it’s received.

Burying your face into the crook of his neck, you dot kisses across his skin like silent thank yous.

“You okay?” Eddie says breathlessly.

“Yeah.” You sigh, meaning it completely. You’ve never felt so cared for.

No ones ever had you like this. You’re used to harsh unforgiving thrusts, quick fucks that left you sore and disappointed. Everything about Eddie is so different. His languid pace, the careful attention he pays you, the intimacy of him kissing your temple as you squeeze around him.

“God. Baby, you’re doing so good f’me. I love the way you feel, s’like heaven.” Eddie slurs, sounding more than a little pussy drunk.

That four letter word spins around and around in your mind like a carousel. It’s much too soon for it to be spoken in any other context. Your relationship was still so new. A tiny bud just beginning to awaken in the sunshine, unfurling its delicate petals to stretch in the golden glow.

Still, you realise then how easily you could fall in love with Eddie Munson. It already feels like his name is branded across your heart, the letters seared into muscle.

Your third and final orgasm of the night creeps up on you. Building as a tingle that runs up your spine, spreading into every limb until you feel it in the tips of your fingers and toes. It’s not a blazing heat like the others. More like sinking into a warm bath at the end of a long arduous day. Soothing heat. Comforting and safe.

Eddie whines your name. Turns his head and crashes his lips to yours just as his own high reaches its crescendo. His hips stutter, fingers curling into a fierce grip on the soft down of his pillows. He cries out, and you feel the blooming heat of him spilling into the condom, thrusts growing weaker as he rides it out. For a moment you find yourself hating the thin latex that covers him. Wishing you take all of his pleasure, watch it trickle back out when he’s done.

Eddie collapses onto you. His chest heaves, spent limbs turning to dead weight, not that you mind. You weakly raise one hand, combing through his curls, dampened at the roots from his efforts.

There’s a slight aching in your cunt. Your hips are screaming in protest from being spread open for so long. But there’s no pain in your chest. No hollow emptiness, and no sour taste on your tongue. You exhale a contented sigh, pushing Eddie’s bangs back so you can kiss his forehead.

He lifts his head, resting his chin on your sternum. His eyes are heavy. He looks blissful and sleepy.

“Hey.” You say softly.

“Hey.” Eddie replies.

“Was that okay?”

“Perfect.” He grins.

With a groan he pushes up, moving slow as he pulls out.

“Was it.. was it okay for you? I didn’t hurt you?” Eddie asks anxiously.

“It was amazing.” You reassure.

Eddie smiles. You roll onto your side, watching as he clambers off the edge of the bed and removes the condom, tying it and tossing it into the trash.

“Thank you.”

Eddie tuts.

“You don’t need to thank me silly girl.” He says affectionately. You shuffle back to make space for him to climb back in beside you.

“But you took such good care of me.”

“M’just treating you the way you deserve to be treated.” He says. His fingers wander lightly over your cheek, tracing tiny patterns across smooth skin.

“I should probably get us some water. And you can go to the bathroom.” Eddie comments.

“Don’t wanna.” You grumble, pushing your face against his chest.

“Just wanna cuddle.”

Eddie laughs.

“Alright cuddle bug. Five minutes, then you’ve got to pee, and I’ll make you a cup of camomile.”

“I didn’t have you down as a camomile tea kind of person too.”

You feel Eddie shrug.

“I’m not. I just remembered you saying you like it, so I picked some up.”

You were definitely right.

It would be so easy to fall in love with Eddie Munson.

#to read #eddie munson #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson fanfiction #eddie munson x female reader #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x fem!reader #peter parkqueue #cherie’s recs

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silkholland · 3 months

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🥹🥹🥹

I just love them so much.

It Was Just One Night Part 25: Time Flies

Masterlist: Here

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A/N: Here we are! The last part to this wonderful series! I have loved writing this so much it’s brought me a lot of joy and I’m so thankful y’all have given it so much love and support! Don’t worry this isn’t the last of these two and Dotty!✨

#it was just one night #eddie munson series #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson fanfiction #eddie munson enemies to lovers #eddie munson x fem!reader #eddie munson au #dad!eddie x mom!reader #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson fluff

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silkholland · 4 months

Text

and…..im crying.

Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader

wc: 10.1k

HEAVY TRIGGER WARNINGS: +18, suicide attempt, reader is suicidal, PAS (Physician Assisted Suicide), neglectful parents, weed and alcohol, feelings of loneliness, hurt/comfort (?), fluff, kissing, some mentions of nausea, smut implication, angst. So much angst.

Plot: Eddie was new to the group, and he connected with you after an unfortunate event. You were excited to finally put an end to your suffering, of all those years of feeling nothing, and you had made a list of things to do before going.

a/n: I cannot stress this enough, please, do not read if this will be triggering for you. If you read PAST the warnings, it is your own responsibility, and I will not hold myself accountable for it.

This is somewhat inspired by the movie and book Me Before You. So yeah, have fun.

Always reblog your artists, likes don't do much.

Please, Trust Me

Eddie came into the group a little bit late, so to speak.

He was assigned to do a project alongside Steve Harrington in Psychology class. College was just something Eddie wanted to focus on studying since he had a reputation of repeating his senior year two times in a row, but Steve was friendly. Eddie, well, he didn’t realize how badly he needed social interaction until then.

So Steve introduced him to his group. Robin Buckley, Nancy Wheeler, Jonathan Byers, and you. Now, Eddie got to know everyone, except yourself. As Nancy put it, you were in many extracurricular classes, so your time was limited. Eddie, of course, understood, but he also felt you were scared of him somehow. You always averted your gaze from him in the little moments you spent together, so he gave up on trying to talk further with you.

Holidays were approaching, and Eddie had the opportunity that his uncle was leaving the nice house he finally got to purchase near lover’s lake in Hawkins, his hometown, so he thought it would be a great idea to invite everyone over… Well, not everyone.

Since he thought you were scared of him, he believed the invitation would be rejected, but everyone else agreed to come over to his place. It was just a two-hour drive, and he couldn’t wait to get drunk and high with everyone else.

Robin told him that you didn’t have time anyway to assist, seeing that you were going to visit your mother for Christmas, so Eddie’s guilt vanished completely. He felt horrible for not inviting you, that’s why he asked Robin to ask you about your plans for Christmas.

So off they went, having a great time by the lake, drinking beer, eating grilled burgers and sausages, and then on Christmas night, the fireworks went off, and everyone was already drunk by that time, messaging loved ones and wishing them great holidays.

The next day, you called Robin, wishing her a happy Christmas. Eddie was packing the suitcase to go back to Indianapolis, when he overheard Robin tell you that they were spending New years there too, completely surprising him. He expected to return on the 26th, but he was excited to spend more time with his friends. Once again, you told Robin that it was fine since you were still at your mom’s.

And so, new years went by. Now on the 2nd of January, they all finally returned completely drained from all the alcohol and food, but still with smiles on their faces. Robin then turned to Eddie with an innocent smile on her face as she sat on the passenger’s seat.

“Eds, can you drive me to Y/N’s place? I want to show her the rocks we picked up at the lake, and I will likely stay the night at her apartment.” She batted her eyelashes at him and he rolled his own eyes.

“Okay, let’s take you to the rich girl’s place.” You explained to the group that you weren’t good with a roommate, so you rented a place near the campus to live in until your studies finished. Eddie realized you weren’t a middle-class person just by knowing that, and he doesn’t know why you would choose a college like this one instead of Harvard or something like that, as rich people do in movies.

Robin met you thanks to you being signed up to tutor her in a particular class she was struggling with. She and you immediately clicked, despite you acting a bit shy and reserved at first, as if not trusting Robin at all, like a scared animal in the wild meeting another species.

Once they arrived at your apartment complex, Robin once more looked at Eddie with a pouty lip.

“And help me with my bag? My shoulders hurt from swimming all week…” And once more, Eddie rolled his eyes, sighing as the two of them got out of his van and he went to the back to get hold of her bag, swinging it over his shoulder.

“You can just say you are lazy as fuck Buckley.” She giggled at his response and they both walked into the reception, calling the elevator to go up to your floor. Once they were at your door, Robin knocked a few times, only to be met with no response. Her smile faded slightly and she tried again, and once more, met with silence.

“Maybe she didn’t return from her mom’s.” And she bent down to look under your mat, finding the spare key. You told her she was welcome at any time, to simply look under the mat for the key and make herself comfortable, knowing Robin likes some quiet away from the dorms now and then.

She opened the door–

“Hey, you–”

And she and Eddie immediately winced at the strong smell of unwashed dishes or something of the sort.

“Jesus Christ, what is that smell? Did she forget to wash the dishes before leaving?” Eddie replied, looking over at the kitchen counter, his eyes furrowing together as he looked at a particular tray that was filled with gingerbread men cookies. They were all with a bit of fungus, and one had been bitten, one of its arms missing.

Robin closed the door behind her as she looked around, finding that there were bottles of different alcoholic beverages on the sink, a cup of ramen noodles on the coffee table in front of the TV, half-eaten, and then she spotted the small Christmas tree in the corner of the room.

She remembers how excited you were, buying your tree, telling her that you never had the chance of decorating one before because it wasn’t truly celebrated in your household. Dread immediately invaded her as she remembered that, slowly walking towards it and Eddie following behind, dropping Robin’s bag to the floor.

Robin gasped as she kneeled to the floor, finding different presents under the tree, one for each person in the group, including Eddie. His heart plummeted to the floor as Robin showed him the small present, and you didn’t even know what he liked, yet you bought something for him.

Robin then turned while getting up, looking towards the door of your bedroom that was shut. She rushed towards it and she felt her heart starting to want to come out of her mouth as she swung it open as quickly as she could.

And there you were, in your bed, resting, and Robin felt herself breathe in relief, but Eddie didn’t. Not when he noticed the bottle of wine next to you, on your nightstand.

“Maybe she didn’t think she was gonna go to her mom’s and she forgot about the cookies.” Robin said as if almost trying to convince herself. Trying to make a reasonable explanation other than the most horrible one that she could think of because of course, she doubted it when you said you were visiting your mom.

Because you mentioned to her that you two weren’t close.

Eddie slowly walked towards you, not caring about the smell that lingered in your room, knowing that you probably hadn’t showered or cleaned the place in a while. He looked down on you, tilting his head. You had the blankets all over you while you rested on your belly, eyes completely closed.

He raised a hand towards your face, under your nose, and his breathing stopped. Your breaths were slow, not even deep, and you were drooling, all over your pillow. He grabbed onto the edge of the blanket and Robin moved to stop him, yet he yanked it off.

“Robin… call 911.”

But Robin was frozen as she looked at your frame, her lip starting to shake as she inspected your right hand. A hand that was holding something that looked empty. Something that she saw was half full the last time she came over.

That orange flask that contained your sedatives.

And you chugged them down with alcohol.

Steve was rubbing Robin’s back as she sobbed into her hands, hunched over the chair of the waiting room. Eddie was on her other side, his leg bouncing up and down as he bit his nails. One day he was laughing with everyone and now he is waiting for some good news regarding your health, someone he barely knows, yet he is worried shitless for.

Loud heels were heard across the hallway, a woman in her late 40’s, wearing designer clothes, looking rather stern as she got closer to the door of the room you are in. Her arms are crossed as she stands next to it, tapping her heel on the floor, catching the attention of the three people sitting on the chairs.

“Excuse me?” Robin’s weak voice called out and the lady snapped her head towards her with an eyebrow raised up.

“Yes?”

“Who are you?”

“I am this girl’s mother. Who are you?”

And the three friends froze in their seats. It was your mother. The person you supposedly spent the holidays with, yet, she didn’t look concerned for you, but rather she looked angry, or disappointed.

“We– We’re her friends.” Robin replied with a small voice, because could she even say that? Do you deserve someone like her as a friend? Even as a partner? Someone who forgets what you told them almost a year ago? The woman scoffed, shaking her head.

“Friends? That is surprising. Were you there when she did this?” Her voice was cold, and anger started filling inside of Eddie’s chest. Why is she acting this way when her child is inside that room, fighting for her life? A life she almost took herself?

“N-No, we found her like that…” Robin looked back down again and Eddie could only look at her wrecked face with pity, yet, he could not comfort her.

“I see. Did the doctor come out or something yet? I have somewhere to be, and I cannot waste my time on this. Not again.”

And the three sitting people shot up from their seats, all with alarmed looks on their faces.

“I’m sorry… again?” Robin asked, the answer scaring her yet she needed to know what it meant. She needed to know if she was an even more horrible person than she was ten seconds ago. Your mother scoffed, shaking her head again and Eddie’s hands turned into fists.

“It’s the third time. I already sent her to a psychiatrist, a mental hospital, and therapists, and yet she still tries. That girl has everything, and yet she always craves attention this way. I’m sick of it.”

And Robin wanted to puke, right then and there, while Steve looked at Eddie with tear-filled eyes and the metalhead could see how bad his friend felt. How evil he must feel. Steve gulped and looked back at your mother, clearing his throat to be able to talk.

“W-Why would she do this?” And your mother scoffed, looking for her phone in her purse as she talked.

“Just because I forgot about the holidays and her birthday. I already sent her a message apologizing and telling her she could ask for anything she wanted, but she went and did this.”

And Robin froze.

Birthday.

December 28th.

Your birthday.

And she couldn’t handle it anymore, yanking herself away from Steve to rush towards the toilet. Steve called out to her, rushing to her aid as tears rolled down his cheeks and Eddie was frozen in place.

Not only did you spend the holidays alone, but you also spent your birthday by yourself, while they were all having fun in Hawkins, shooting fireworks and drinking alcohol to their heart's content. And you were alone, with a bottle of wine and instant noodles.

He was about to talk to your mother, about to insult her, to drag her on the floor, but the opening of the door in front of him made him stop in his tracks as the doctor walked out with a board in his hand.

“Okay, so, we got her blood cleaned up. It’s good that you caught her at such an early stage. Her vital signs look stable now, but she will have to stay here for a few days, two tops, so we can monitor her a bit more.” Your mother cleared her throat and the doctor looked up at her with a tilt of his head.

“So, she’s okay.” And there was such coldness in your mother’s voice that Eddie felt his vile rising in his throat. The doctor only sighed, taking his glasses off.

“She is, but we cannot overlook a suicide attempt. Does she have anyone to talk to? Maybe I can give you brochures for–”

“I already sent her to an institution once, but it didn't work. That child is an attention seeker, pay it no mind.”

Eddie’s eyes were burning in anger at her words and the doctor looked as surprised and hurt as he did. He cannot bear to hear your mother’s words any longer, so little care, with lack of empathy and lack of love. He wondered how many things you endured with a woman like this in your life, and honestly, he was afraid of finding out.

“W-Well, since you’re the mother, maybe you should–”

“She is a grown woman now. She can make her own decisions as you can see. I shall not worry about her anymore.” And just like that, the heels echoed in the hallway once more and Eddie’s eyes were wide as he looked at her retreating figure. A mother leaving her child after they tried to end their life, like no care in the world, as if she hadn’t given them their life to begin with.

Three times? Three times she did this? Walking away from you? How could she call you an attention seeker? How could she even acknowledge something like that when you were screaming for help?

“Ahem.”

Eddie blinked as he looked towards the doctor who had a confused yet pained look on his face.

“She is awake if you want to see her. I assume you are a friend of hers?”

Is he? He is not a friend, but you cannot be alone, not here, not right now. Robin is probably trying to breathe while Steve is comforting her, but maybe… Eddie knows you probably don’t want to see them either. None of that group. So he gave the doctor a nod, and he slowly opened the door of the white room.

His eyes scanned it, and finally, they landed on you. Your arms were connected to an IV and a blood transfusion bag, the heart rate monitor beeping right next to you as your back rested against the pillows, letting you sit on the bed. You looked emotionless. Eyes empty. Hand on each side of your body and Eddie knew your mind, your feelings, were completely shut off.

He gulped with nerves and the door closed behind him, making him wince, but it alarmed you that someone came into the room, making you look up. Your eyes twitched in surprise, yet if you were, you didn’t express it, nor show it.

“I guess you’re the one that found me?” Your voice was empty, with no tone, as if it were a recording or an AI robot. Eddie slowly nodded as he took a few steps toward the chair that was on the other side of the bed.

“Robin and I found you.” You gave a slow nod, looking back down to your lap. He didn’t know what to say, he didn’t know anything about you but he feels like he should have. He cleared his throat to continue talking. “I, uh, liked the necklace you got me. Pretty metal.” He winced at his words because it was something he shouldn’t have brought up at all.

Your eyes raised to meet his, another nod going towards his way, diverting your eyes back to your lap. He looked around for a second, the nerves all over his body. He was almost trembling with the need to talk to you, but what can he say? What could be something you want to hear right now? And coming from him?

“Ask away.” He startled at your voice, jumping on his seat as he looked at you once more.

“What?”

“I know you want to ask. And maybe you can also help me by telling the rest about it and how I am not going to talk to them again.” You were still not looking at him and he cleared his throat as he felt his mouth going dry, but now he knew you weren’t going to talk to the others about this. The relationship is already broken inside of you.

“I– Okay, um… I guess the first question is, why?” He slowly asked, afraid of even being able to talk to you about this, but sometimes they say that a stranger is the best listener, and maybe Eddie was just that.

“Why… Only child, homeschooled all my life so no interaction whatsoever with the world, absent mother, holidays and birthdays by myself, father was never found. Need to say more?”

And shit, Eddie was not expecting that at all. You had been miserable from the very beginning, unwanted by your own mother, and now he realized how horrible you must have felt with the whole group. Your first ever friends and they forgot every single detail of you. How you never spent a holiday with people, and was so excited you even baked cookies to share and bought presents for a gift exchange, your first ever most likely, only to never happen.

And now, he realized that… His other friends do not deserve any kind of pity, or forgiveness.

“Okay, then… Why were you scared of me?” At his question, your eyebrow raised up, and turned your head to look at him.

“Is that what you thought?” You asked with complete confusion in her tone. He looked at you with his own frown, tilting his head.

“Well yeah, you avoided me like the plague…” And you looked up at the ceiling, closing your eyes, and shaking your head with a sigh.

“No. I don’t trust people easily as you can see.” You looked down at your lap once again and he wanted to sigh a little bit in relief at that, knowing that his clothes or his whole demeanor didn’t actually scare her. She was just shy and probably nervous.

“Right… Um, Robin and Steve are here as well, do you want me to–”

“No. I don’t want to see them.” And your words spoke for your pain, and Eddie was not going to argue against it. They honestly didn’t deserve your forgiveness or kindness, that much he knew, but he also felt guilty. Really guilty.

“I– I am sorry… I didn’t invite you because I really thought you hated me– and I took everyone away, I didn’t know any of this, I am so sorry if I knew–”

“You weren’t the one who forgot. You don’t know me, but they did.” He gave you a nod in understanding, yet the guilt is still lingering in his stomach. He cleared his throat and he wanted to ease the tension for you, to relieve the somber moment that filled the room.

“So uh, you knew I liked Metallica huh? Is it because of the hundreds of shirts that I own?” Your eyebrow raised at him and you turned to face him while he gave you a cheeky smile of his own. You squinted slightly at him, but a small tug on the corner of your lips gave you away.

“Well yeah, all the times I’ve seen you it was either Metallica or Black Sabbath. It had to be one of the two.”

“What if I only liked their logos, huh?” At that, you rolled your eyes at him, but he kept making jokes at you, and a giggle here and there could be heard in the room.

Robin and Steve were hearing the both of you outside your room. They looked at each other for a minute before hesitantly walking away. Robin turned her head at almost every step, wanting to barge into the room to hug you, to say she was sorry. But she knew it meant nothing, not anymore, and not ever again.

What she did, what they did, cannot be fixed.

Eddie was lounging with his headphones on as he listened to music while resting against a tree trunk. He was bobbing his head as he wrote some lyrics on the notebook he had over his leg. For the past three days, he hasn’t heard of you. He tried visiting you yesterday only to find out you were discharged and he felt too embarrassed to just go to your apartment.

He had also distanced himself from the group. It didn’t sit right to be with people who could easily forget about something so important like a birthday. You didn’t have any social media, so the least they could do is put the birthday in their own cell phones, like Eddie did as soon as he left the hospital.

It’s not like he didn’t talk to them, he just made excuses when they asked to hang out with him. He just couldn’t shake off the bad vibes from it all.

He looked up from his lap only for his eyes to bulge out of his skull as he saw you almost prancing in happiness while walking through campus. That’s a good sign, isn’t it? He immediately put his notebook into his backpack and pulled his headphones down, resting them around his neck. He got up, almost tripping as he did so, as he rushed towards you.

“Hey! Hey!” He yelled at you to catch your attention as he got closer. You turned to face him, still with a wide smile on your face.

“Hi, Eddie.” You were smiling, that’s good, that’s really good. He was almost breathing heavily from the run he just did. He wasn’t athletic and the smoking surely doesn’t do him any good.

“Yeah– I just– give me a minute.” He huffed as he tried taking a deep breath in, and you giggled motioning to him to sit on a bench near the both of you. You sat down as soon as he plopped down, taking another huff of air as he turned his head to look at you. “So, what got you all smiley?”

“Well, I just dropped out of college!” You announced with a smile and jazz hands, startling Eddie completely. His face was contorted in confusion and wonder.

“What? Why? You didn’t like what you were studying?” You shook your head as you looked at the horizon, not anything in particular.

“It’s just pointless now.”

“I don’t understand.”

“I’m going to California in three months.” Your head turned to look at him still with a smile on your face. “I’ve been offered P.A.S.”

He frowned, not knowing what those syllables meant at all. He tried putting them together in his head but nothing was coming up.

“What’s that?”

And Eddie didn’t know why you opened up to him with that. He didn’t know why he didn’t care that you did. He didn’t know why this relationship between the two of you evolved in this manner, as quickly as it did… but he never expected to hear the response you gave him.

“Physician Assisted Suicide.”

And now, Eddie knew that term, and his eyes bulged out of his skull. You were… offered that? How can that happen? You had no health issues to go through something like that, so why would you consider that? Why would the doctors even consider that for you? His heart was just hammering in his chest as dread invaded his gut.

“W-What? Why– how?” He was speechless, not really knowing what he was asking or what he wanted to know at this point. He felt his gut turning at the information like he couldn’t believe someone as young as yourself could even consider that way out.

“Well, it was due to all my medical records, be it psychological and physical. My mindset never changed.” Your gaze turned from him to nothingness once more. “I go, get help, only to get out and for everything to be the same. It never changes, because it was never me who had to change.”

Eddie slowly blinked at your wording and his eyes drifted to the sky as his thoughts raced through his mind. Can he even talk you out of this? How can he even do that? You seem happy, way too happy with this solution… You were excited.

“You’re not… scared?”

“No. Not at all. I am ready to go. My heart can barely handle it anymore.” And Eddie’s eyes turned towards the profile of your face. You had made your decision clear, and he wouldn’t be able to stop you now. No one can. The group was no longer part of your life, your mother didn’t care about your decision so it seems… and he is no one to stop you.

“Alright… You– um, what are you gonna do until… you know, then?” He asked and you smiled at him, grabbing your backpack to take out your notebook, and flipping a page to show him a list, which made him frown in confusion.

“These are things I never tried because the opportunity never presented itself. Before, I didn’t know–” You cut your voice short at what you were about to say, and then you continued. “Now that I know when it’s gonna happen, I don’t want to go with any regrets.”

Eddie looked at the list, and he couldn’t believe… how trivial some of these things were.

- Go to an amusement park

- Smoke a cigarette

- Buy a Barbie Dreamhouse

- Eat a cake for breakfast

- Get high

And then he saw more complicated ones.

- Go skydiving

- Learn to drive (or attempt)

- Try to skateboard

- Ride on a jet ski

- Attempt to make a rainbow cake

And so many more. You had filled an entire page with things you wanted to do and he looked up at you to see you looking up at the sky with a smile on your lips.

“I think I should get the Barbie Dreamhouse first. Oh, maybe get some alcohol, I never got fully drunk, but maybe tonight I can since I don’t have to wake up early anymore–” And you went on with your plans and Eddie was just staring at you as the thoughts ran through his brain.

Everyone else was walking all around the two of you, and nobody knew that you were going to die in three months. No one knew you had made an entire bucket list with things to do before going. No one knew about this decision of yours, and he wasn’t going to let you be alone in this. He doesn’t want you to live these last few weeks with no one at your side.

“You know, or I can make one of your wishes on the list come true.” Your head snapped towards him with a surprised look on your face.

“Oh, what?” And a smirk formed on Eddie’s lips.

“Getting high.”

“Did you prepare the pan?”

“Uh…”

“Eddie!”

He immediately rushed to grab onto the pan as he burst into giggles thanks to the weed in his system. The munchies came to life with you two after smoking a whole joint from Eddie’s stash. You had the open bag of pizza rolls in your hands, the oven already turned on as you waited for Eddie to put some oil spray on the pan.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I just– I was stuck looking at the wall.” He simply replied to you, making you burst into laughter, trying not to let the pizza rolls fall to the ground. He followed you with chuckles as he sprayed the pan and handed it to you so you could throw the pizza rolls on it and then begin cooking them in the oven.

You were relaxed, that much Eddie knew, and he was smiling as you tip-toed in a dance towards your couch, plopping down. He followed soon after, sitting next to you. You giggled as you stared at the ceiling.

“I feel like I’m on a cloud.” Eddie stared at your profile for a while before he began talking once more.

“I wanna help.”

“Hmm?” You turned to face him still with a dopey smile on your face.

“I want to help you complete some things on your list.”

And your smile fell as if becoming sober out of nowhere. Eddie then gulped but his resolution was already said and you moved uncomfortably in your place.

“You don’t have to pity me. I can do these–”

“No, you can’t. Learning to drive a car? How do you plan to do that?” At that, you opened and closed your mouth many times and then cleared your throat.

“An instructor!” Eddie rolled his eyes at that, and put his hand up, his fingers up.

“Getting drunk, you need supervision.” He put a finger down. “Going to a concert, you’re gonna get squashed.” He put another one down. “Playing Mortal Kombat, you need an enemy.” He put another and then you stopped him completely, shoving his hand down.

“Okay, okay, okay! I see your stupid point.” You sighed as you threw your head back against the headrest of the couch, looking at your ceiling. He knew you were overthinking it, but he honestly wanted to help you in any way he could.

“C’mon, there are a few things in your list I am dying to try too. Like– Eating Argentinian food. I never tried that shit, I bet it’s fucking delicious.” You giggled at his expression and then nodded at him.

“Okay, fine. You can help. You will also help me bake that stupid rainbow cake I always wanted to try.” He laughed at that with a shake of his head.

“Another thing I never did in my life was bake. It’s gonna be a journey. Do you have insurance here? We might burn it all down.” At that you punched his shoulder lightly, causing him to laugh it out followed by your giggle.

And what a journey it was gonna be.

“Seriously, YOU DIDN’T HAVE TO GET ME INTO THIS TOO!” Eddie almost screamed as he looked out the window of the helicopter with a frightened look on his face. Harnesses were all around his body, a man behind him strapping himself closer to Eddie’s back.

You were in front of him, holding your laughter as you held onto a handle on the side of the big machine that was now miles and miles above the ground. The helmets on both of your heads almost crushed your skulls but the protection was needed. Another man was strapping himself to you behind your back.

“Oh come on! You wanted to try new things!” You yelled at him so he could hear you over the loud sound of the helicopter.

“Yes! BUT NOT SKYDIVING! I WAS HAPPY TO WAIT FOR YOU WITH EARTH BENEATH MY FEET!” He yelled back and you were trying really hard to contain your laughter. Suddenly the big door next to the both of you slid open and the wind immediately pushed your body and Eddie’s back from the force but the guys remained still as they held onto the handles above the door.

“You guys ready!?” The one behind you asked and Eddie rolled his eyes behind the goggles.

“DO I HAVE A FUCKING CHOICE?”

“Nope.” The guy behind him said before jumping out with no warning, dragging Eddie with him, and then the guy strapped to you followed close behind. You were screaming your lungs out, and Eddie was shrieking. The adrenaline of falling was making him feel butterflies in his belly, almost making him feel sick.

He can hear you closer now and he raised his head to see you in front of him with your arms splayed out and reaching out for him. He could hear your laughter through your screaming and he reached out, fighting the strong wind, to finally lock his hands with yours as you two were freefalling towards the ground.

He couldn’t help but smile and cheer out from how extreme the whole situation was. He didn’t know how you weren’t hungover, you had gotten yourself as drunk as possible yesterday night while dancing to his music. He showed you how to headbang properly, and he took care of you when you started letting the contents out in the toilet.

He held your hands as tightly as possible, your fingers intertwined with his, as you both yelled with excitement and fear as you plummeted down and down. You only separated when the men behind your backs tapped on your sides so they could pull the parachute open.

Your bodies jerked as you started floating in the sky, and Eddie was left laughing as you both glided downwards towards the ground again. He could see the entire city and the fields as you both kept coming down. He turned his head to see you laughing as well, your head looking up at the sky in bliss and he felt his heart tug on him slightly.

Once you two touched earth again, Eddie let the air out of his lungs with relief and the guy behind him unstrapped himself so Eddie could catch a proper breath, taking the goggles and helmet off. You followed a few seconds later, walking towards him with a smile on your face and taking your goggles off.

“It wasn’t so bad, was it?” You were breathing heavily and he scoffed at you with a shake of his head, flicking his fingers on your forehead.

“I won’t let you drag me into something like this ever again.”

You laughed at him and you both walked back to Eddie’s van after you paid for the experience. You didn’t let Eddie pay at all, since you dragged him into it. He was going to invite you for dinner though, and you wanted McDonalds, so he was driving back towards town as you two talked in the van.

“So, you never told me about your parents.” You blurted out, catching him by surprise, but you were indeed right. He gripped his steering wheel a little tighter, but he kept a small smile on his face.

“Oh, where to begin? My mother died when I was young and my Father was… very abusive, and often dragged me into stealing with him. He got caught and he’s been in jail for a while now, he’s charged with robbery and homicide attempt.” He took a big gulp in as he kept driving, not used to letting people into his life in this way. “But, my uncle Wayne took me in at fifteen. He is the father figure my father failed to be.”

You were silent as you listened to him. He didn’t hear anything from you so he turned to face you, only to see you looking at him with tears running down your cheeks. He wondered what was going on in your head at that point. He was about to ask you what was wrong and you sniffled, wiping the tears away with the back of your hand.

“I’m– sorry, I shouldn’t have asked that.” You said regretfully and he instantly shook his head.

“No, no… don’t worry. I’m past it.” He was worried about what you were thinking about at the moment since you remained silent for a while.

“I’m a little jealous to be honest… You had someone that…” And he waited for you to continue, but when you didn’t, he pressed forward.

“Someone that what?”

“Wanted you.”

And his heart broke at that, immediately so, and he knew his eyes started burning from the incoming tears and he shook his head to keep focused on driving. You didn’t need him to cry, you didn’t need that.

But should he tell you what he thinks? Should he tell you what has been on his mind for the past month that he helped you tick things off your list?

“I–”

“Oh! Before I forget–” You looked through your purse, pulling out your phone as you started scrolling, and he frowned as he tried to look at what you were doing and then back at the road. You giggled and moved away so he couldn’t see. “No peeking!”

“Oh come on, you can’t just do that and not expect me to be anxious!” He laughed as he kept his gaze on the road and then he saw light in his peripheral vision and he looked quickly to see you were showing your phone to him. He switched from the road and to your phone but he couldn’t quite read it. “What’s that?”

“You know how one of the things was to go to a concert?” He nodded and you giggled, putting your phone down again. “I got us two tickets to go see Megadeth!”

His jaw could just fall from his skull at this point as he tried to focus on driving and not the shock from those news. Did you say Megadeth? Are you serious? Eddie has been dying to see them live but when he got into the virtual line they got sold out in just a few seconds.

“What?!” He yelled and you kicked your feet on your seat as you stared down at the phone. He was speechless, a smile spreading on his face, only for it to fall back down. “Wait, do you even LIKE Megadeth!?”

“Well, I haven’t heard much, BUT YOU LIKE THEM, and I assumed that we should go to a concert we both can enjoy. I doubt you want to go to a Taylor Swift concert.” You replied with a wiggle of your eyebrows only for him to scoff.

“Taylor Swift has some sick songs. But– Yes, I do prefer Megadeth sweetheart.” He smiled widely at you and then looked back at the road, cheering as he hit the steering wheel with excitement. “Fuck yeah!”

You were laughing on the passenger’s seat and Eddie was smiling all the while as realization started to dawn on him that… he may like something more than Megadeth’s music.

It was a special kind of tune.

“Seriously, how long are you gonna take darling, we had to go like yesterday!” Eddie yelled with a pissed-off tone as he paced in your living room.

“It’s my first time wearing something like this, it needs to be perfect!” He heard you yell from the bathroom and he sighed, but a smile was splayed on his lips. He was looking out the window as he waited for you in his Megadeth tank top with a black leather jacket on top. He heard the bathroom click open and he sighed in relief, turning around with a roll of his eyes.

“Finally–” And his breath was knocked out of his lungs. Your hair was messy, completely batted, wearing heavy black makeup on your eyes, strong lipstick on your lips, a black top with a black long-sleeved fishnet shirt on top, and then black leather pants below. You gave him a twirl and wiggled your eyebrows at him.

“So!? I had to look at a tutorial on YouTube to get this done, but I think I did pretty good–”

“You look beautiful.” And it was natural. It came out without doubt, without him thinking too much about it, and you were shocked, yet, he noticed how you diverted your gaze away from him, and he chuckled at how embarrassed you got from a compliment regarding your physique.

“I– uh, it isn’t weird?” You asked and Eddie knew you felt a little self-conscious of how different you looked. But you were indeed beautiful, this just enhanced it in ways he didn’t think could be possible and he felt his knees bending for you.

“It isn’t darling…”

There was a moment of silence between the two of you and Eddie could only stare at you as he walked closer to your frame. He saw how your shoulders went up and down a littler harder than before, signaling him that you were taking deeper breaths, maybe from nervousness, he didn’t know.

“Um–”

“Sweetheart…” You finally looked at him and he smiled, rolling his eyes. “Can we please go now!?”

And you giggled at him, the tension leaving the both of you as you made your way out to head to his van.

The ride to the stadium was filled with music, mostly Megadeth which you started listening to since you showed Eddie the tickets three weeks ago. Today signaled the second month of you two completing your bucket list.

One more month to go.

And the concert was filled with screams and laughter from your part, Eddie protecting you from the people pushing against you, but you didn’t care, experiencing your first concert ever, and you wanted to share it with him. This was your first and last concert, and you decided it was gonna be Megadeth, for his taste.

“That was AWESOME! My neck needs ice from all the headbanging though.” You sighed as you two got back into the van after almost three hours of jumping around. Your make up was smudged, your hair looked a little sweaty, and your lipstick had washed away from the sweat, yet, you looked as beautiful as you did hours ago. Even before the makeup. Maybe even more.

“Hey, you were great for your first metal concert.” You giggled at his words and gave him a nod.

“I am a natural.” You smiled at him and he just kept staring at you, licking his lips as he looked down and then moved his whole body in order to face you. The nerves were almost killing him as he tried to formulate the following words.

“I uh– I can help you cross another thing off your list.” You tilted your head in question and you pulled out your notebook from the bag you left in the van with your bucket list and then a green highlighter.

“What is it?” You smiled at him as you handed them to him and he scanned the whole list, looking for that one thing and when he spotted it, he felt his heart in his throat as he slowly showed it to you, pointing at the line.

Have the first kiss

You blinked once, twice, and then looked up at him with a confused frown in your eyebrows. He gulped loudly and he might have overstepped it, but he still waited for your response and he could see the incoming tears in your eyes as he felt his hands becoming sweaty.

“You– You don’t have to do that… I– You don’t have to do something you don’t want to–”

“I want to. I really want to.”

He could see that you were nervous, looking everywhere but his face. You didn’t reject him. You were worried that he didn’t want to do this and felt pressured because of your list, and that was far from the truth.

“I– How does this go?” And he wanted to smile at your innocence, but he felt sadness that you never experienced any kind of physical interaction in all your life. But he smiled anyway, in order to calm your nerves down. He raised his hand towards your cheek once you moved to face him in the passenger seat. Your breathing hitched at his touch, finally looking at him, directly into his brown eyes.

“Just close your eyes. You can tell me to stop whenever, I won’t pressure you, sweetness.”

And his voice was soft, and caring, his thumb smoothing your cheek in circles and when he saw you close your eyes, he took a deep breath in as he slowly leaned in. He could hear his heartbeat in his ears, the blood rushing to his head at a quick pace, but he had to focus. He knew his face was flushed, but he couldn’t help it.

He could smell your perfume still, despite all the jumping, all the sweat, it was still lingering on your body. He finally closed the gap between the two of you in a soft peck on the lips, staying there for two seconds before pulling away as a chill ran down his spine. He wanted to dive into it, take your lips completely, but he didn’t want to overstep. He opened his mouth to ask if you were okay, only to be surprised by your hands grasping his face, pulling him towards your mouth again.

He gasped into the kiss, and he took it as a sign that you wanted to know more, experience more, learn more. So he kissed back, his hand moving towards the back of your head in order to push you further into him as you two hovered over the console. He started to move his lips, slowly, and he felt you follow him, hesitant at first, maybe doubting what you were doing.

He was having a hard time focusing on not letting his instincts take over, a very horrible time. This was a bad idea. This was a terrible fucking idea and he knew it, but he couldn’t help it. He needed to be the one to give this to you, because if someone else did… he wouldn’t be able to bear it. He didn’t want anyone close to you, not like this.

He felt your hands moving to the back of his head, your fingers digging into his curls, and he held a groan in, trying to not let it show how carnal he was becoming. He was nervous but he wanted to see if you wanted to take it even further, so he poked his tongue out, licking your bottom lip tentatively.

He heard a gasp coming from you and he noticed that you didn’t get the idea of what he wanted to do, so he tried again, licking in between your bottom and top lip. You seemed to know what part comes next, so you slowly opened your mouth, and he met his tongue with yours, earning another gasp of surprise.

He wanted to know what thoughts were running in your mind right now as he kissed you. Did you feel the heat rising? Did you feel scared like he does? Did you feel happy? Confused? Nervous? What is going on in that head of yours?

He didn’t want to break it apart, he really didn’t, but it’s been minutes, and he didn’t want to overdo it at all, and he can’t hide his real feelings for much longer. He slowly pulled away from you, the smack of lips separating and vibrating all over the van. You two were breathing heavily as you stared into each other’s eyes.

“So? How was that for a first kiss?” He asked breathlessly and he could see something in your eyes that he couldn’t quite describe. It was a mixture of emotions, not one in particular, but he couldn’t pinpoint what it was. He was still holding onto your face, waiting on your response.

“It–” You opened your mouth to say something, only to shut it seconds after, and then a smirk appeared on your lips, pulling away from him to sit straight in the passenger seat. “I don’t know Munson, got nothing to compare it to.”

His mouth fell open, a laugh escaping his lips as he poked the side of your body, making a giggle escape your lips, flinching away from him as he kept poking you repeatedly.

Yeah… your laugh was better than any song out there.

Five days.

Five days and you were leaving.

And it’s not like you were going to come back. You weren’t going to in any shape or form.

Eddie was lounging on your couch as you put things in cardboard boxes. Things you wanted to donate since you weren’t going to need them any longer. He closed his eyes tightly, his heart aching and wanting to stop you, to yell at you that you didn’t have to do this, not anymore.

“Okay, I think I’m done for today. You sure you don’t want any of this?” You asked him and he felt as if a knife was stabbed into his throat. He wanted to cry like he had been doing alone at night whenever he went to bed. Sleepless nights were plagued by the thought of not seeing you anymore, of not being able to hug you, of not being able ever to cuddle you like he wanted.

“Yeah, pretty sure.” He didn’t want to sound bitter or angry, but he couldn’t hide it. You didn’t acknowledge it of course, so you shrugged, closing the box and standing up from the floor before heading to your room.

He stared at your open door, needing to hype himself up. If it’s not now, he won’t have the chance to do it again. He needs to kiss you once more, he needs to hold you close, he needs to show his feelings through actions.

So he stood up and slowly walked towards your room. You were cleaning up your closet, looking through your shirts. He watched you move through your room, and he looked over to your desk, seeing the almost completed bucket list. Some were just impossible to complete, like riding a kangaroo, but there was a particular one that he wanted to fulfill, and not because it was on the list.

If this was the only chance he could do it, he would take it. You noticed his presence when you turned around with a shirt on your hand and saw him looking at your notebook. You tilted your head to the side as his fingers trailed one particular line that was yet to be highlighted.

“Eds? What’s wrong?” Your voice held worry as you put the shirt back in the closet and Eddie turned his head up to look at you. He turned to close the door behind him, to face you again, taking a few steps forward to stand in front of you.

“I saw one more thing on the list… a thing I want too.” His voice was small, lacking confidence, filled with nerves, but he needed this. He needed you. He hoped he wasn’t getting this wrong, because ever since that kiss the two of you stole glances from one another, laughter as friends turned into flushed giggles.

“And what is that?” You asked with a frown on your eyebrows, in question. He wrapped an arm around your waist, flushing your body to his, his breath most likely hitting your face as he felt your shoulders move even quicker than before, signaling him you were taking fast breaths.

“Do you trust me on this?” You stared up into his eyes for a full five seconds before slowly nodding at him. He lifted his other hand to cup your face in his palm, and he leaned down to take your lips with his.

Electricity ran through his body, and he wanted to smile, he wanted to cry, he wanted to yell, he wanted to rip and break the walls, he needed to destroy something, he needed to hug someone, he needed comfort but he also needed the rage.

Your arms wrapped around his shoulders, holding onto him as your lips moved together, soon tongues intertwining as the seconds passed, and your breathing turned jagged as you pulled away for some air. Eddie leaned down to kiss your jaw, startling you, to then move downwards towards your neck, planting soft kisses onto your skin.

A gasp escaped your lips at the sudden sensation, new, raw, and Eddie felt you shiver under his touch, but instead, you were gripping his shoulders in order to pull him closer as the hand that was on your waist started sneaking under the hem of your shirt so he could touch your skin.

“Eddie…” It was a partial moan, but he took it as a green light, moving you towards the bed so he could lay you down but before he crawled on top of you he took the chance to take his jacket off, throwing it across the room, not caring where it landed.

If this was going to be the only time to have you like this, he would make sure to make you feel like the most adored person in the world. He will make sure of it. Even as your moans filled the room, he couldn’t help but want to record them, knowing he won’t ever hear them again.

And that line was highlighted in green when you both woke up the next morning.

Make love

He didn’t want to look at you.

He couldn’t.

The sun was shining through your curtains as you walked around the apartment with the small carry-on waiting for you at the front door. The past few days the two of you dipped into the sheets, all day, cooking when necessary only to return to bed.

He really wanted to cry and yell, and he almost left in the middle of the night in order to not see this day. In order to just run away from the fact this was your last hour with him, and you had asked him to take you to the airport. He can ditch you, tell you he wasn’t going to do it, that you could get a cab.

But he couldn’t do it. His heart was ripping out of his chest at every step you took in your apartment, the seconds ticking closer and closer to the departure of your plane. A plane with no return at all. A one way ticket.

He looked around your apartment, and boxes of stuff that you wanted to donate surrounded him, as well as bags of your clothes. You told Eddie that he was the only one in your will. That fact broke him to the core, knowing that you were leaving everything to him, but the only thing he wanted was you, and you were going to leave him.

He didn’t want your pans, your apartment, your cutlery, your game consoles, or TVs. He wanted you, and only you. He didn’t notice that his tears were falling down his face as the lump in his throat became bigger and harder to swallow at every gulp he tried to take.

“Okay, I think I’m–” You stopped on your tracks when you saw his profile, noticing the tears, your eyes widening as you approached him, your hands cupping his cheeks for him to look at you. “What’s wrong?”

“You’re leaving me.” He wasn’t going to hold back his feelings anymore. He showed you through his actions, but he never said them out loud, and the least he can do is let you know this.

“What–”

“I love you.” Your eyes widened and your mouth hung open at his confession, but Eddie didn’t stop talking. “You’re the most amazing person I’ve ever met, and fuck, you need to know how much I fucking want you.”

You were stunned into the ground and that’s when Eddie turned to look at you, only to see tears running down your face as you covered your mouth, taking steps away from him.

“You– You can’t say that to me, not now. Please– Please– not now.” You were choking into your sobs as he stood in front of you, coughing to be able to speak.

“I– I want you to stay… Please, don’t take that flight… I beg of you, please, stay with me…” His lip was trembling as he felt nausea fill his stomach, taking a few steps towards you as the crying finally was heard through the apartment.

“I– I don’t need your pity! I– I am happy I am doing this! You’re lying in order for me to stay, and I’m not going to buy it!” You yelled through your sobs, and Eddie felt his chest ripping open at your thoughts.

“I am not lying! I am in love with you! Why can’t you believe that!?” He was screaming now, trying to get his point across but you also didn’t back down, yelling back to him with the same confusion, with the same anger, with the same sadness.

“Because how can I trust that!? How can I trust you!?” And Eddie grabbed you onto your shoulders, squeezing you tightly in order for you to look at him and not run away. His eyes were on fire as he gazed at you through his tears.

“Trust me just like you trusted me to hold your hair back when you got too drunk and you were in the toilet! Trust me just like you trusted me to teach you how to drive! Trust me just like you trusted me to protect you in your first night club outing! Trust me just like you trusted me when I made love to you!”

And the screaming ceased, eyes locked into one another’s, tears still streaming down, never stopping, heavy breathing trembling against every wall. You were shaking under his touch, your lips trembling as your hands shook on your sides while he still gripped onto your shoulders. You opened your mouth to talk once more, your voice small, broken.

“You… One day you will get tired of me, but you will feel bad for leaving me, so you won’t… I can’t– I can’t chain you like that–” Your voice was breaking his heart, even more than before, and he shook his hair desperately as he let go of your shoulders so he could grab your hands and hold them with his, getting closer to you.

“No, no… I won’t ever get tired of you… Not you, not in a million years…”

“Eds…”

“Please… Please don’t go… Please, trust me.”

You sobbed a gulp of air and you raised in order to give him a soft kiss on the lips. His breathing hitched at it, but kissed you back, dread filling his core, every vein, every blood cell instantly freezing at what the future will hold, of what this kiss meant. You pulled away with a small smile on your face. Small, authentic, yet sad.

“I love you, Eddie… I’m sorry…”

And your flight took off that day.

“Mr. Munson…”

“Mr. Munson!”

Eddie jolted in his seat as he put his wallet down to look up at his group of students. Gregory was raising his hand and Eddie pointed at him so he knew he was acknowledged.

“Sorry, I got lost in my thoughts. What’s wrong Mr. Gill?” He asked and his student asked something about the textbook they were all reading. His college students. He began explaining the paragraph that seemed like a puzzle to students from the book “Down the Rabbit Hole”.

He graduated in Psychology three years ago. He was offered a job as a professor in the same college he graduated from, and he was more than happy to pass his knowledge to other students to help them understand how the brain works, and the many branches that can come out of it after every single situation in life. Traumatic or not.

Once his students went back to reading, he grabbed onto his wallet again, looking inside to see a picture of you and him, completing one of your bucket list’s objectives.

Go to an amusement park and get pictures taken in a photo booth.

He chuckled as he remembered that outing, how you had screamed at your first ride on a roller coaster.

He became friends with Steve once again but was still not fond of the rest of the group. The only reason he got close to Steve again was because he was also a teacher in the same college. He was a professor in physical trauma, so, in their breaks, they would smoke together as they walked through campus.

The bell rang and it was time for him to finally head home after a long day of having four classes in the day. He grabbed his suitcase, hoping no student would stop him on his way out and gladly it never happened. His hair is still the same length, but he is always using a ponytail or a bun on his head.

He has heard rumors that people always gossip about him, asking if he was single, or what was his life like outside college. He shrugged the comments away as they weren’t important at all. He just came to work and that’s it.

He got into his car, a black jeep he saved a year for in order to buy it. He missed the van, but he had to upgrade it once and for all. His van was a little old so replacement parts were a bitch to get. He turned on his car and then started his drive back to his home, a two-story house. It wasn’t big or luxurious, but it was his home.

He sighed in relief as he opened the door, throwing his suitcase on the couch after slamming the door closed. He cracked his neck a few times before taking his blazer off and then his tie, unbuttoning the first two buttons of his shirt and opening the cuffs at the end of the sleeves. He groaned with satisfaction as he sniffed the air.

He smiled as he walked towards his kitchen, leaning against the doorway, his arms crossed over his chest, his teeth showing into a massive grin.

“Hi baby.” You smiled widely at him as you took the pan out of the oven, filled with cookies that were freshly baked. He walked towards you, his hand stretching out in order to grab a cookie, only for it to get slapped away by you. “They’re hot!”

“I am strong, I can handle a little bit of burning.” He grinned down at you, leaning down to give you a soft kiss on the lips in greeting. “Were my princesses hungry for cookies?”

“Are you talking to me or…” He chuckled at the pout on your face and he bent down to kiss the big bump on your belly, standing up straight later on, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you close to him.

“Those two are my princesses, you, my love, are my queen.” You rolled your eyes at his antics but you giggled either way. He gave you a smooch on the cheek, making you laugh, trying to push him away. He spotted something on the kitchen counter, pulling away from kissing you and getting the item in his hand.

“Oh! Yeah, Chrissy gifted that! She said–” Eddie laughed as he looked at you and then putting the two pink pacifiers that you can put flavored ice in so they can chew and help with the heat.

“Another gift!? Damn, she really wants to be the godmother of one of our princesses huh.” You pushed onto his shoulder with a pout on your bottom lip.

“Hey, she is going to be the best aunt.” Eddie nodded at that and he really wasn’t angry at Chrissy. You met her after you moved out of your apartment to go to Eddie’s. She was moving in at the same time you were, and you two helped each other in bringing the boxes in.

Yes, your flight took off that day… Without you in it.

You stayed with him, wrapped in his arms as you cried, not being able to stop as your feelings confused you, scared you, your mind a jumbled mess but Eddie held you through it. Eddie wasn’t going to let you go, never, and he promised it, over and over again into your ear, hoping it stuck to your brain.

“Oh no baby, I don’t doubt that.” He smiled at you as you started taking the cookies off the tray, taking care of your hands so that you don’t burn yourself. Eddie just stared at you with adoration in his eyes, as if you held the entire world in your hand, and you did. You are his world. You are everything.

You turned to look at him, raising an eyebrow in question, wondering if he was scheming something that you didn’t know about.

“Now, what is going on in that mind of yours Munson?” He found it ironic that you can easily ask that question to him when he wanted to ask that to you many times before. He smiled at you, wrapping his arms around your waist from behind, his hands resting below your bump, holding onto it as he felt his two daughters moving inside of you.

“I just love you Mrs. Munson…” You turned your head to give him a soft kiss on the cheek, before focusing once again on the cookies.

“And I love you.”

After a moment of silence, he pressed a soft kiss on the side of your neck, surprising you, yet a giggle escaped your throat.

“Thank you.” That confused you, turning your head to look at him and he was already smiling fondly at you.

“For what?”

“For trusting me.”

The end.

a/n: this story explores the idea of death, the idea of being ready to receive it with open arms, with a rational head. But it also explores the fact that things get better if you meet the right people. It might not be now, it might not be tomorrow. It might take years for you to do so, and people in your life will come and go.

But there will always be that one person. And that is all you will ever need.

Taglist of people I mentioned this to: @littlesubbyflower @munson-blurbs @andvys

#eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #stranger things #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson x you #eddie munson fics #eddie munson fanfiction #eddie munson x y/n #fanfiction #eddie munson fluff #cherie’s recs

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silkholland · 4 months

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I’ve felt like this for so long. Including what was in your tags. I’m so sorry you’re feeling it too.

another thing i wish i could do was openly cry and sob like a baby but i can't because i don't live alone and i have to hold a conversation with people without breaking down and that makes everything feel 100x worse

#silkholland personal

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silkholland · 4 months

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𝐓𝐡𝐞 "𝐏𝐥𝐮𝐠"

𝐒𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬 | A night after Homecoming has you reveling in the loneliness of your mind, but a drug dealer "meandering" his way by is there to solve your issues, especially after finding a particular toy of yours.

𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 | Swearing, mentions of drugs/drug dealing, minor comments about food, feelings of embarrassment, overthinking, mentions of mean friends/exclusion, loneliness, insecurities, and explicit sexual content: fondling, one spank, edging, orgasm denial, praise kink, sir kink, oral (female receiving), rimming (female receiving), anal play/fingering, use of sex toy (butt plug), and unprotected vaginal sex.

𝐀𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐞 | Everyone be honest: do you actually enjoy my writing being this long, when little to nothing is happening? I don't know, I feel like I dramatically wrote this, it's kinda comical. Also, this is literally an entire Soundgasm audio I heard, but can no longer find- the agony! All script credits to them, I’ll try to link it once I do find it! And, @strangerstilinski is a lot better at Pinterest than me, so big, loveable thanks to you for the photos!

𝐌𝐢𝐧𝐨𝐫𝐬, 𝐃𝐨 𝐍𝐨𝐭 𝐈𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭.

Cold and creamy, the slab of lotion smearing its enriching silk onto the skin of your shaven legs to prevent that inevitable itch in a couple days had been the only thing to smooth over your mind in the suffocating humidity of your bathroom. But even then, the sweetening smell of coconuts and vanilla couldn’t fully appease your feelings from the nagging reality of how isolated you felt from the people closest to you.

Quinton Reeves.

For whatever reason, retired number ninety-five of Hawkins High’s baseball conference champions of 1983, still had the popularity chokehold of high schoolers, despite the matter of being into his second year of his community college career, while brandishing the golden name tag of the multiplex theater he hadn’t left since junior year. Something about giving away free tickets to greedy teenagers, that’s what made him “cool,” though utterly pathetic in your eyes.

But unfortunately, in the eyes of swooning cheerleaders, Quinton Reeves’ “maturity” had made his Friday night rager on Old Cherry Road the main priority of your friends’ plans, after a grueling night of sore toes and itchy fabric that was the Homecoming dance. An actual celebration, where booze monitoring or debauchery dance moves couldn’t be policed by the faculty of your soon to be alma mater. Not that it was celebrating much, those green and orange jerseys adorned by the most admired only saw scuff marks with no touchdowns; yet another year of despair for Hawkins High’s athletic department. And yet, somehow a trophy-less trophy cabinet did little to sway the big egos of the prim and proper. Funny. So now, you sigh, basking in a night of a hot shower, trying to exfoliate and shave off that icky feeling in you that you knew resided deeper than superficially.

Because while your friends drank the night away at Quinton Reeves’ Friday night rager on Old Cherry Road, you sat forlorn with a kitchen full of purchased junk food, a bathroom full of face masks, a bedside table full of magazines, and a television stand full of movies, because despite being planned a week in advance—after you conveniently got left out of Stacy Wither’s girls night—Quinton Reeves’ Friday night rager on Old Cherry Road became more important than your girls night.

Softened skin bundled in cozy clothes, you watched your saddened reflection in the foggy mirror of your bathroom, where a squeaking wipe to the condensation allowed for pellets of water to race down the glass. Beneath the mask of green gunk that claimed to heal those pesky bumps of raging hormones on your skin, you could still see the dampen expression of your sorrow face, where you recollected the comments of your so-called friends.

Buzz-kill. Bummer. Borning. Rummaging through the entirety of the B section of Merriam-Webster’s Collegiate Thesaurus just to really cement the fact that they wanted nothing to do with your itinerary-riddled girls night.

You splashed your face with the wake of lukewarm water. To hell with them; your skin was glowing, body freshly cleaned, your scalp free from any solid itch of hairspray, fingers and toes wiggling with a beaming white polish, and you had an assortment of snacks to rake through while ogling at Ferris Bueller, watching him have a day off with his friends who actually care. Perhaps you should take a stroll through Chicago, and catch a Cubs game. It wasn’t anything but a state away. And if you got lucky, maybe you could find Sloane Peterson’s fringe jacket in your stack of magazines.

Surely, Ferris Bueller was cuter than any twenty-one-year-old who still spent his weekends partying with high schoolers.

Christ, a parked full driveway.

Eddie, four hundred seventy-six dollars richer, Munson craned his neck, ticking his tongue at the scale of which your house stood at 11:28 p.m on this Friday night. One hesitant sniff at his shirt, and he regretted the decision of not moving Samara Lawson away any faster, when the drunken girl attempted the flirtatious endeavor of receiving that twenty-five percent discount you were always accustomed to.

Perhaps her revenge on the dealer, himself, after he politely declined with a harsh line to his lips was forcing him to reek of booze after a tight hug to ensure her chest squished against his just enough that Samara Lawson surely thought it would deduct a dollar or two. It didn’t.

“Fucking two stories, man…” Eddie sighed, kicking the mulch of your mother’s meticulously cared for garden, as the bricks of your home seemed to drag onward for an eternity from his five foot eleven stance (six feet if you’d ever ask).

A towel in hand, you gently dabbed away the excess water from your face, before you turned to serums and creams to gently massage your face with, hoping to ease any worry lines your friends have cost you in the wake of disappointment. Mint flavoring of stringy floss proceeded to invade your mouth, as you plucked all you could from your teeth to triumph through your oral hygiene care. Not that it mattered, though, a party-sized bag of Doritos was awaiting its fate of being empty by the time Pretty in Pink began its course of replay.

If Eddie Munson knew anything, it was the probable fact that your bedroom could be found from the dimly lit window on the left wing of your home, where white curtains cascaded against a potential entry to your room. In the instances in which Eddie found himself in the weekly routine of taking three steps up porch and three knocks to the door, the stained glass that adorned your front door for decorative reasons always allowed him the warped sight of you appearing from the left side of the second story, before bouncing down the stairs like Yasmin Bleeth running down Will Rogers State Beach.

And for the brief one minute and thirty-seven seconds it took to exchange the half ounce for fifteen dollars—prolonged extensively by Eddie Munson’s attempt at small talk—Eddie lavished in the bubble that was your true element. While cheer skirts became devastatingly enticing when you wore them, something about pajama pants that pooled at your feet for the entirety of being too long with sweaters that swallowed your tiny hands in comparison to his truly had his heart cinching with the tight grasp of utter devotion.

It became the only thing that inveigled him to make the thirty minute trek across town to deliver your demands. What a surprise it was when Chrissy Cunningham revealed the dealer, himself, never offered her home visits, after too many complaints of making the eerie journey through the woods to receive her goods had you suggesting to your friend to give him the call you did weekly. But a groaned out, “You know he’d never do that; his whole ‘I don’t come to you, you come to me’ policy,” had you perplexed in the face. He had never disclosed you of that. Huh.

“For the love of God, please just let me be right for once.” Eddie huffed, as his calloused hand collected itself around the gutters that followed alongside your home, which provided him the leverage to denounce the white window sills with dirty scuff marks of Hawkins’ muddy winter sleet.

How more pathetic could you possibly look? A frown had permanently etched itself onto your face, where a fake smile was once plastered before Lucy Coleman informed you of the fact that no one was showing up to your scheduled ‘Homecoming’s Coming Home Girls Night.’ God, you even had a cute name for it… ish.

Freaking twenty-one-year-old multiplex ushers.

Giving up the bathroom for the night, a trip following the banister down to the kitchen became a dangerous game of stuffing your feelings with carbohydrates you’d eventually come to regret the next morning. Your father had made the safe assumption to ignore the ruckus of opening cabinets and crinkling wrappers that appeared behind him from the living room, because eighteen years of living with you had taught him you were always one, “are you okay?” away from exploding from the angsty teenage rage that bubbled inside you. By tomorrow, you’d eventually come to him with a sadden face and wails of a hurt tummy, and just like you were seven, he’d be there to comfort you with a hearty breakfast and open arms.

Littered posters, rumpled white sheets of little red heart, a vanity besmirched with powders and glitters, and a heavy resemblance of laundry piles that mimicked his bedroom floor—saved from the blacks and denim, only colors and lace this time. If, for whatever reason, this wasn’t your bedroom, Eddie Munson would be heavily concerned.

With an artillery load of snacks on hand, your father followed your huffy stomps through the living room and up the stairs. “Wanna save me some?” A joke terribly unappreciated on your part, as a scowl met his lighthearted smile.

Your bare toes dug into the carpeted steps to solidify your displeased mood. A little dramatic, and unserious, but only targeted to your flippant father, who found amusement in the little jabs that made your face crease like your mother’s. The actual hurt and betrayal that lingered within was still discreetly churning in your belly with the fretful epiphany of how lonely your friends made you feel.

But as mentioned, that’d be a discussion for tomorrow morning, when you could cry into your scramble eggs.

One step at a time, the view of your bedroom door—cracked, and flooding the hallway with the mustardness of lamps—came to light, as a guttural sigh left your mouth as a “fuck you” to the stir of messes you felt, pounding at your head with no mercy, as if the shitty friends you had wasn’t enough, they were capable of making you feel horrible, awful things.

Yeah, fuck yo- “Ah!”

Bags of chips and wrappers of candy avalanched down the doorway of your bedroom, as Eddie Munson’s already large eyes rounded to the ghastliness of yours, hunched and frozen in stance of that of a burglar, and suddenly Eddie was coming to the realization of how utterly creepy he looked.

“Sweetpea?!”

“Hon?!”

A call from the living room, a call from your parents’ room; your mother and father’s voice boomed with concern of what could be another dramatic yell fueled by teenage temper or actual danger. But Eddie’s surrendering hands, with a look of desperate apologies that had to go unspoken unless he wanted to be caught by your parents had made it apparent that Hawkins’ local drug dealer who wandered about with a gaudy jewelry and hair you’d like to braid had little to offer when it came to harm.

Also, the way in which his fretful finger was comically signaling to his prized lunchbox had let the understanding of business ventures finally hit you.

“S-Sorry! Um, giant spider!” Stifling their consternation of any imminent danger, Eddie cracked a tiny smile, before treading down to your feet to pick up what he caused to drop in the first place.

One after another, your pile of snacks were now being examined under the scrutiny of your drug dealer. “Friends coming over for a sleepover or somethin’?”

Insulting. “No.” You mumbled with a particular sass he hadn't usually been indulged in, that had him quietly chuckling. God, him and your father would get along.

Sat aside on your bedside table to be feasted upon when cute, unwarranted company couldn’t witness the giant devour, you quietly closed your bedroom door, and stood watching Eddie Munson awkwardly swing his arms.

“You’re probably-”

“So, um-

“Oh, I’m sorry, go ahead.” He encouraged you with a tight-lipped smile.

You shrugged, and sat upon the edge of your bed. “I was just going to ask why you snuck into my room… at this hour.”

Eddie cleared his throat. “No, yeah, um, I realize how weird this must be, but, uh,” his eyes gallivanted to the notable furniture that adorned your bedroom—bookshelf, arm chair, desk—to avoid the knowing look on your face he’d have to be met with, because for whatever reason it was, it was now just painfully dawning on Eddie Munson how terrible of a move this was. “Well, I was just heading home, passing through the neighborhood,” lie, “and realized you weren’t at the party- Reeves’, I mean, you weren’t at Reeves’ party.”

And you truly gave the man, himself, little to offer with your subtle, “yeah,” that would force him to grab a crowbar to pry what little information he was willing to take for the night if it meant you’d just keep talking to him.

“Just, uh, all your friends were there, bought from me n’ all, but, um, I don’t know, just kinda figured you’d be there with them since you always are.” He mustered out, as his eyes rapidly jumped about to scan the movements of your body. “And, well, didn’t see my number one customer.”

And Eddie smiled, as your heart began pattering with stirring feelings that had your throat tightening with disbelief. “You came to check on me?” So softly spoken.

“No, no.” Oh. How more embarrassing can this get for you? He might as well point and laugh in your face for being so lonely. “I-I, um, thought I could, uh, drop off your usual, y’know, squeeze in some extra cash.” Of course. “I saved you some.” Eddie patted his battered box.

He watched your body deflate, and suddenly he wondered why he went that route, when it clearly caused the frown line on your face to deepen. “Right, um, thanks.” You sighed. Junk food and weed? At the very least, you could be high when crying tonight.

One second to open your bedside drawer, but another second halted by Eddie’s voice that stopped your movements from stretching to reach for your wallet inside. “I- y’know what? Free of charge.” He propped open the metal lid to grasp onto the reserved baggie of the usual half ounce, before placing the lunchbox down to hand the substance to you. And he read you confused look quickly, as your hand hesitantly graced his fingers to take the goods. “Just, um, loyal customer, figured I should give back.”

“Eddie, you already gave me a discount, I really don’t mind paying.” A promise to indemnify him for all that he already did.

“Ah, well, you should, because I’ll be terribly offended if you do pay me.” He broke a smile that had your shoulders slumping with relaxation. “Just, uh, gotta let me hang here for a minute, if that’s okay with you.”

“You want to stay here?”

“Food, weed, and your company? C’mon, what kind of man would I be to pass up that opportunity?” And thankfully, that was enough confidence to have you shyly giggling before him. “Just a little break before I head home, I guess.”

“Had too much fun partying?” You teased.

“Think I would’ve had more fun if you were there.” Oh, no. Pattering heartbeats, and now fluttering butterflies disrupt the peace of your tummy, as Eddie stared down at you. “Mind if I sit, uh, next to you, or over there, or wherever?”

You nodded to his request, complying by moving to the center of your bed, where you and Eddie sat back in the bundle of your rumpled duvet and pillows. A pregnant pause consumed over, as Eddie chose to linger in the silence to get a good view of the knick knacks that disheveled your room perfectly, and you admired the glow in which his profile became illuminated by. With bouncing eyes, it became the shiny embroidery of gold italics on the velvet sash that read “Homecoming Court” that paired cheaply with the tiny, plastic $3.99 Party City tiara that had dug into your scalp for the three hours you had to endure that night that caught Eddie’s attention.

“You win?” He abrasively asked.

“Uh, no.” You quietly answered. “Chrissy Cunningham got the bigger crown.”

Eddie nodded along. “Figures.” He added. “She’s sweet.”

It was your turn to nod, as the lips concaved into your teeth, while your fingers rustled with the plastic baggy in hand. “Yeah, she is.”

“Kinda boring, though. Don’t you think?” He tossed his head back to meet his eyes upon yours.

“Chrissy?”

“No- well, not really, I mean Chrissy winning, y’know? Carver, too.” He clarified, as he watched your face with the suggestions he was making. “Like, why even vote- or hell, go to that shitshow if we already know who’s going to win? At the very least, throw in a curveball. Like-Like, Johnny Katowski.” Eddie laughed.

“The kid from chess club?” You quietly giggled, as Eddie sat up.

“Yeah, him!” He declared. “How great would it be to see a kid like him winning Homecoming King, I mean, he may have bitched me out when I knocked into his lunch table to and messed up his little figurines-”

“Pawns?”

“Yeah, pawns.” He laughed. “But the point is, why not give some other people the light, y’know?”

“Oh, well, Johnny Katowski is a really nice person, but I think he’d be too shy to enjoy everyone staring at him.” You quietly spoke, as you fiddled with your fingers under Eddie’s stare. “But, um, other people like you?”

“I meant other people like you.” Eddie smiled. “I’m too good to be king.” He joked, as you laughed at his cockiness. “I’m sure that dance would’ve been better if you had won, ‘s all. Just like the party.”

Your brows raised with gentle curiosity. “Oh, did you not have a good time at the dance?”

“Oh, no,” he waved you off, “didn’t even go. Dances aren’t exactly my thing, sweetheart.”

You softly giggled. “You didn’t go to the dance, but you went to the afterparty?”

“Can’t exactly sell my supply on school premises, Y/N.” Eddie jokingly protested. “And even so, you went to the dance and not the afterparty.” Like tightening rope around your throat, your gut was hit with the simple analysis Eddie concurred. Though rather obvious, it somehow manifested worse coming out in the words of others around you who clearly saw the disconnect between you and your friends. Sure, a little more information would solidify it, but in the overworking mind of intrusive thoughts that made up your mind, Eddie’s phrase managed to concoct the notion that all of Hawkins High was now acutely aware of the fact that the ties of friendship with the girls closest to you was now being severed at the hands of no longer wanting you. “Hey, you okay?” His face lowered to catch yours, only to quickly move as you suddenly cleared your throat whilst straightening your comfortable posture.

“Yeah, yeah, just a little tired, I guess.” You mumbled, providing him a small smile to end whatever prodding he was about to dig into. You no longer wanted it.

“Oh.” He spoke. “Um, you want me to leave, leave you alone?”

“No, no.” You assured him. “It’s okay.”

Another silent pause. Eddie Munson laid his cards on the table. A, he could cut the awkwardness short, and be on his way back home, sufficed with the fact that he, at least, got more words out of you than the usual “thank you, here’s your money, see you next week” routine, that he’ll be stuck with for the rest of the school year, until you inevitably leave for college- I mean, good for you, but then he would be stuck with a whirlwind of what if’s that would eat him alive, all while you got the live your prosperous life in god knows what city, where some dude who actually had to balls to make a move on you would get the honor of being called your boyfriend. Deep breath. Or B, he could just be a friend right now, because it really looked like you needed one.

“You’re sure you’re okay?” You slowly peered up at him. “I mean, like, you’ve always been kinda quiet, just, y’know, from seeing you around, but you seem a little more down now. Like mime quiet.” He smiled, eliciting a worn giggle from you. “Just feel like you have something to say, but you’re not saying it.”

“I…” you sighed, “it’s really stupid, Eddie.” Because suddenly sitting back with Eddie—whose personal life details were spread around town for the sake of small town gossip to enact who could and could not associate with the shunned of Hawkins, Indiana—your problems felt entirely too small. The last thing he needed was to be drowned by your superficial problems. The last thing you needed was to be judged for feeling the way you did, when Eddie Munson would give the reality check of a lifetime, and tell you to grow up. “Yeah, just, um, really miniscule things that I don’t, uh, wanna annoy you with.” You attempted to laugh off.

“I asked you.” Eddie stated matter-of-factly. “You’re not gonna annoy me when I’m literally asking to hear you, sweetheart.” He chuckled in disbelief at your resigned behavior, baffled by the notion you could even believe anything about you to be bothersome. “C’mon, just say it, say it with your chest, just lay it all on me. Can’t do any good to keep it in, no?”

Eddie Munson had quite the knack of being a cute motivational speaker, as your giggles caused by his coltish self seemed to abate the linger tussle of depressive hesitancy in your mind. “It’s just… y’know, my friends, n’ all.” A hearty grunt of agreement coming from Eddie had you laughing through your words, as his face of distaste for your friends made it easier to speak. “Like, I just know they-they don’t want me- or, at least, it really feels like that. God, Eddie I rented out all these movies, bought some face masks- which are really expensive, by the way, and these damn snacks, ugh. Why-Why is some lame party more important than my plans, than me? They just don’t care! And I get I’m more quiet than them, but why does that mean I have to be left out of everything?! A-And, y’know, they always say I’m a bummer, but they don’t think about the fact that they make me a bummer. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I love shopping just as much as the next guy, but knit-picking everything that’s wrong with how a dress looks on me isn’t exactly going to make me an ecstatic person, y’know?!”

Eddie Munson used to be able to count the number of words you spoke to him on the fingers of one hand. And right now, that was, at least, twenty-five singular hands. And the thought had him smiling in the distance, when in actuality, that stagnant pause was an invitation for him to speak, as per a normal conversation. So it became that very smile that had your stomach flipping with ignominy at the fact that your overthinking thoughts were transpiring right in front of you: Eddie Munson thought your problems were laughable.

A quiet “huh” was all he had to say.

“Well?” Your face, unfortunately, contorted with desperate validation. “You think it’s stupid, don’t you?” Almost accusatory, but in all seriousness, his lack of words were only cementing the scary thought that infested your head: you were the problem.

While deliberating, Eddie was really trying to give you the benefit of the doubt, he really was. But for the love of god, why were you allowing these people to have this much sway over your life? Three days ago, Courtney Keller, co-captain of Hawkins High’s cheer team, who conveniently sat a desk over in Eddie Munson’s English literature class thanks to Ms. O’Donnell’s tyrannical assigned seating, was overheard asking if Romeo and Juliet had been inspired by the 1978 cult classic Grease. Ah, yes, because William Shakespeare surely looked to a Hollywood blockbuster love story of a goody-two-shoes and greaser to write his most notable play. These were the people making you miserable?! You bombarded your letterman jacket with a bunch of tiny, obscure pins for crying out loud! Only you could make those god awful, gaudy, green jackets look remotely cool. Not to mention the fact that when looking at you from a distance—totally not creepy—Eddie could make out those funky, little doodles that indented the cover of your notebooks, before being thrown into your stuffed locker of knick knacks and stickers. Pins and doodles? Totally cool in Eddie Munson’s book.

Okay, maybe not the most substantial aspects to determine one’s coolness, and perhaps, most wouldn’t look to the super, super senior to constitute what is, but the fact of the matter was that Eddie Munson, himself, thought you were pretty damn cool, so who the hell were some peaked-in-high-school nobodies to tell you otherwise?

“What do I think? Uh, how do I put this?” Eddie reiterated, playing out the right words to confront you with. Though, Eddie Munson wasn’t necessarily one to speak so eloquently. “I think you’re kinda acting like a dumbass,” and your fallen face had him stuttering into recovery, “n-no, I mean, like, not that you’re dumb or anything, you’re really fucking smart. It’s just, I dunno, c’mon, you’re smart enough not to let them bother you.” He exasperated.

“Like-”

“Like- sorry,” he interrupted, “I just mean that you’re so much better than them. Like, in every aspect, you have so much more going on than their puny life.”

“Well, according to them, I don’t even have a life.” You grumbled, knees wedging themselves against your chest to provide the perfect burial for your head.

Eddie sighed, choosing to sit up against the headboard of your bed to get your smushed face to follow his movements. “Hate to break it to your sweetheart, but getting shitfaced at some boring party isn’t exactly the epitome of having a life. I mean, sure, maybe to the people who thrive in small town shitholes like this place,” and luckily, Eddie was able to follow along with your airy giggles, “but you and I? Hell, no, babe, nuh-uh, we were made for bigger shit than Hawkins.” He smiled.

And you smiled, too. “Like New York?”

“Like New York.”

“Ooh, or somewhere pretty like Paris or Marseille?” Your head finally perked up.

“Sure… I mean, I think I can put up with French people for you.” He joked, letting that genuine laugh fall from your lips so effortlessly. “Kinda draw the line at eating snails, though.”

You gasped dramatically. “What?! You’re telling me you’ve never tried Benny’s escargots?!” Yeah, you were way cooler than any Courtney Keller clone.

Eddie’s head leaned back, as his hearty laughs quietly fanned your face, until the atmosphere was finally at peace with steady breaths. “I mean it, sweetheart, just gotta look them right in the eyes, use those big, beautiful things you got, and tell them to fuck right off.”

While undeniably making your heart patter in your chest, Eddie Munson’s comment also served to become the catalyst for the most humiliating moment of your life. With your face turned away into your knees to shield him from the lovesick smile you were embarrassingly about to flash him, you terribly missed the single opportunity it would have taken to redirect Eddie’s devastatingly—for you—short attention span away from the beaming jewel that rested in your still opened drawer.

“What’s this?” Pink and glimmering under the lowlight of your lamps, Eddie couldn’t resist the encrusted jewel lined with silver. And you hummed in question, oblivious to his findings, turning around all too late. “In your nightstand.” His hand inching closer and closer.

In your nightstand, in your nightstand, in your nightstand, echoing like a nightmare on repeat, as your eyes widened at the epiphany that Eddie Munson had found your- “Don’t touch that!” Your father’s brow cocked, wondering what movie it was this time eliciting dramatic reactions from you. But Eddie’s calloused fingers had already grappled onto the silver handle, pulling out what was beyond mortifying for you, as the lamp shade had fully revealed what concealed item contained that sparkling decoration.

“Oh, damn…” Eddie blinked, swallowing the nothingness of his throat, as a stir began to tickle his naval just below the belt. Both sets of eyes glued to the bulbous end of your plug, though Eddie’s incoming smirk seemed to differentiate tremendously to your gaping mouth of disbelief, where you sat frozen in horror at the events transpiring before you. Held like a priceless jewel, Eddie examined your personal toy with a devious smile to pair. “You use this? Like, it really goes up your ass?”

Your internal being was screaming at the top of your lungs, all masked by the stoic features of your face that refused to accept the reality of what was happening. “Eddie.” You managed to mutter out. “Please, put that back!” Harsh whispers smacked him in the face. “Eddie, I- sorry, just please, I’ll-”

“Hey, hey, hey, it’s okay.” His free hand came to secure itself around your knee, allowing that tightening breath to finally make its escape from the anxious hold in your chest. “Really, I just- it’s cool, just caught me by surprise ‘s all.”

“Okay, well, can you please just put it back, and forget this ever happened?” You pleaded, wishing him away for the night, hoping to never meet his eyes, the same eyes that made your butt plug fall under scrutiny. “I swear, it’s not mine- well, it is, but, like, I didn’t buy it, my stupid friends, ugh-”

Palms digging into the sockets of your eyes, you wielded this as your punishment, hoping the pain would come to mask the utter humiliation of Eddie finding your personal belongings. Uptight, they joked. Laughing with those giggles you learned to despise as you unwrapped the decorative paper that covered your birthday present. A book, a journal, sketch pencils, or plant, any and everything that could have sufficed as personal presents that would have been highly appreciated. But your friends seeked another personal route, with the jabbing comment of wanting you to “loosen up.” And so what, gag gift or not, the use of that particular toy came about as no one else’s business, because while the contribution came at the expense of the devastating realization that your friends were grade A assholes, there was no judgment in exploring yours- GOD.

“Hey, seriously, sweetheart.” Eddie’s hands came to pry yours away, letting his lighthearted eyes cast away the round, sadness of yours. “I just, y’know, didn’t think you were like that- or into that.”

“Oh, right, because I’m so uptight and boring.” You defensively rolled your eyes at him, before attempting to move from your spot next to him, but Eddie worked quicker to keep you in place.

He spoke earnestly. “Hey, no, don’t put words in my mouth, I didn’t say that.” Eddie sighed, jumping through the endeavors to show his action didn’t come maliciously. “Seriously, you know that, alright. Don’t think of me as being that kind of person.”

You sighed in defeat. “Eddie, this is just beyond humiliating.” And he desperately just wanted to take a hold of your adorably sullen face.

“I don’t think it’s humiliating.” He smiled, of course, it wasn’t his butt plug in his hand. “Think it’s kinda… intriguing. L-Like, sexy.” Your eyes peered to his height, searching for the laughter of a joke you swore was about to follow. But Eddie Munson had never lost the hold of your eyes, piercing his through yours to strike that flame in your body with a burning match.

“Really?”

Eddie nodded. “Yeah.” His fingers continuously fiddling with your toy in hand, as his pants tightened at the mere thought of it being inside of you. What you did, late at night, to destress, finding an escape in the pleasure of being plugged, and played with. “Knowing what you like, testing your body, yeah, sweetheart, it’s really fucking sexy.” He slyly eyed you down, as your throat went dry under his dark stare. “Wouldn’t even mind seeing it.”

“W-What?” You stuttered out, thighs tightening to rub that aching thump brewing between your legs. “Like, um-”

“If you’re okay with it, Y/N,” Eddie took over for you, “I’d like to see how you make yourself feel good.”

Your mouth gulped like a fish out of water, trying to find the right words that were lost in the tangled disarray that was your overthinking mind, beating heart, fluttering tummy, and pulsating heat. But even that gnawing anxiety couldn’t deny you the unbearable urge to have Eddie Munson ravish you. “I- right now?” You spoke so quietly, nodding to the sentiment.

“Yeah,” his tongue drenched his lips with one swipe, “let’s just say it’s for, uh, educational purposes, what do you say? Might even, y’know, get your mind off things. Relax. Feel good. Better than that fucking weed can do.” His ringed hand took a hold of the plastic baggie from your side to place away in your nightstand- inside, where you apparently held your most precious items.

You swallowed the nerves away, allowing yourself the selfish pleasure of Eddie’s touch to wash away the heavy troubles of your mind. You want this. You deserve this. “Please?” So delicately spoken.

“Yeah?” He sneered. You nodded. Under his gaze, you made the move onto your knees to comfortably shift out of your pajama shorts, but your hands couldn’t move further than grasping onto your waistband, before Eddie made a quick call to stop you. “Woah, woah, what are you doin’, sweetheart?”

Your mouth opened to speak, but you froze in the awkward position, and eyed him worriedly. Surely, you couldn’t have possibly read this entirely wrong. “I- you said you wanted to see, like, taking off my clothes.” You meekly explained, as the burns of a suffocating bonfire blazed your cheeks with embarrassment.

“No, c’mon, baby, you gotta let me be a gentleman first.” Eddie chuckled. “Can’t just start fillin’ you up without kissing you. Get over here.” He patted his lap.

Your leg thrown over his had you seated on the thickness of Eddie’s thigh, as the skin of yours nipped at the graying denim of his black jeans. Plug aside, his fingers teased at the seam of your shorts to encourage your hands to place themselves on his chest, where he saw you hesitantly reaching for. Feeling the cracking print of his worn band tee had suddenly brought you a sense of contentment, allowing you to comfortably press your weight onto his legs, a sign of snugness that had him smiling at you lovingly. Goosebumps arose in the wake of Eddie’s fingers brushing down the sides of your thighs to connect with the creasing of your knees, finding the fold as leverage to bring you forth.

Chest to chest. Nose to nose. “You gonna give me what I’ve been dreamin’ about?” Your lips grazed the oncoming stubble of his upper lip, just seconds of subtle, bare touches that were feeding into that aching desire igniting inside both of you, before fully securing your mouth upon his. Eddie’s lips became a suction, refusing to let you go, as his hand crept with security to the back of your neck. Your tiny moans melted into the kiss, with tenuous grinds against his bulge that bent the zipper of his jeans, all too deliciously for Eddie to handle, leaving his mouth drowning with saliva that slicked your lips with the taste of Eddie Munson. “Don’t have to worry about anything with me.” He murmured into you.

A hungry “mhm” was all that could be trusted to come out of you, as your hips rolled with greed, entirely fueled by his tantalizing hand that squeezed at any fat he could latch onto.

“Everybody deserves a break, baby.” He cemented with firm pecks that left your lips raw with the sound of spit smacking to echo into your ear. “Just let me be nice to you- let me be so fucking nice to you.” You nodded against his face, nose bumping with harsh breaths, as neither of you could find the will to pull away. “Let’s- fuck, let’s get these off now, pretty.” Eddie snapped your stretchy waistband against your hip.

Tingles coursed through your legs, as you found the strength to dig your pedicured feet into the rug of your bedroom, and stand before him. His blunt nails gently scratched down your legs to invigorate you to declothe. Your bottoms slid down, pooling at your feet, before you stepped out to have your pussy on display for him.

“Mm.” Eddie lowly hummed, enthralled by your mound, so perfectly decorated with the hairs of your pubes, and puffed between your thighs. “Damn, you standing here without your shorts makes me wanna listen to music.” He smiled.

Your brow pointed, gifting him the sight of your confused, little face that had him chuckling at you. “What?” You asked.

“Y’know,” he snickered, “‘cause I wanna use your thighs as headphones.”

Your girlish giggled made him feel good about his awful joke, finding all enjoyment in seeing your hands cutely hide your face from the shyness of your nature, despite standing bare in front of him. “Eddie, that’s so corny.” You laughed.

“But I got a smile out of you, s’all I care about.” His hands came to yours to twiddle with your fingers that differed from his thick ones, lavished in the loud jewelry he brandished. “So, uh, I imagine I gotta get you ready first, y’know, wet. Don’t wanna hurt you.” You softly nodded to confirm his words, suddenly feeling the tickles in your belly moisten you, as the realization of this actually happening was becoming truer by the second. “Somewhat of a handyman, myself, can grab some DW40 or somethin’.”

“Eddie.” You flirtatiously chastised, mewling a whine of gauche, of which you had a real talent of making cute.

He laughed. “Look, look, there’s no… romantic or- fuck, I dunno, chivalrous way of asking someone if you can eat their ass, so can I just eat you ass, sweetheart?”

Eddie’s unabashed bluntness had your face burning with the intoxicating sensations of humiliation and want, brewing something nasty in you that always laid dormant under the unexplored aspects of your desires. Leave it to Eddie Munson to elicit that filth with the raunchy words of his mouth that already showed you just how sinfully good it could make you feel. Just for you, you hoped. But surely, Eddie had to have obtained these skills from some practice. And you wondered if that’s what you were. Practice for the next gal to have her world rocked. Or… just thoughts. Loathsome thoughts, the very things Eddie has dedicated to clearing from your pretty head, because someone with a face like yours, and being so sweet had no reason to suffer, as you did. Practice? God, no, you were just everything. So Eddie Munson made sure to give you everything.

“Yeah.” You tenderly answered. “Just, um- well, I already showered for the night before you came here, but, like, I can, you know, clean up-”

“Baby-”

“Just so you’re comfortable with every-”

Roughed by heavy car parts and heated guitar strings, his all but soft hands felt so gentle in yours, with fingers dancing in the intertwine of a caring hold, flooding you with security, as his eyes without word complimented the contours of your figure silently but so earnestly. Eddie squeezed your hand. Eyes searching inside you through yours. “Stop, stop.” Your nervous rambling came to halt. “I don’t care. I know you’re clean, I wanna taste you.”

“Yeah.” You took a deep breath. A squeeze back to show love to his tough hand. “Yeah, okay.”

A smile breached his face. “That’s what I like to hear. C’mon, bend over for me, pretty, let me ease you from your mind.”

With the rumpled duvet sinking with the load of your limbs carrying you to the center, the air felt cold against the oozing slickness of your bare cunt, spreading its welcome with the curvature of your back with tits hung from their weight on your chest, as you allowed yourself the liberty of resting your head upon your pillow. The falling of Eddie’s creased sneakers against your floor appeared louder than reality when blood was pumping in your ears to the overworking beat of your heart. Naked and vulnerable, several deep breaths were taken to appease that anxious thought in the back of your head of what you might look like to a boy you liked so dearly, but nothing ameliorated you better than the waking touch of Eddie’s hand against your ass.

“Fuck.” And suddenly his voice had a way of coaxing your hands to relax against the harsh hold of your sheets. His hands rounded the globes of your ass, feeling the fat wobble beneath, when a sharp spank landed on your right cheek, forcing you to suppress the whine with a metallic bite to your lip.

You mewled out your reprimand “Eddie! My parents are still here!” Having to whisper your frustrations, because now having a taste of what an Eddie Munson spanking could do, you wanted more, but couldn’t under a parental household.

“Sorry, I’m sorry.” He chuckled, a complete lie he muttered just to calm you, because forcing your ass to ripple with the slam of his hand would be nothing he’d apologize for. “It really is just so spankable.” Eddie’s hands worked to massage the brief sting of his abuse that had you quietly pushing back for more. “So fucking perfect, all soft n’ shit in my hands. Nice to just fucking grab, and spread apart like that- fuck.” Fingertips digging into the dough of your cheeks had pulled your pussy lips to reveal strings of sweet arousal, and two pulsating holes Eddie was desperate to fill. “That’s so fucking beautiful.” His thumbs came to brush the hairs of your lips, inspecting what he was about to cherish on his tongue.

His soft proclamations had you smitten with a smile that would surely strike him to his knees if flashed at him, but you contained yourself in the soft fuzz of your sweater that pooled at your breast to allow him the pleasure of running his course down your spine. Just an exploration of your body, feeling all his could while he can, because while your mind had a funny way of overthinking, his did, too; Eddie Munson was slapping himself to right your worries, because one wrong word, one wrong touch, one wrong stroke of his tongue had him rampant in the head that you’d leave disappointed in his actions. Forever.

“Eds.” But as Eddie Munson was there to ease you, you were there to ease Eddie Munson. You’ve nicknamed his status to something closer than drug dealer. And the salacious click of your tongue had you proving to wanting to push that status further.

Eddie smiled at the possibility. Your gasps were all that could be heard next, feeling the tip of his wet tongue browse your tight hole, as your ass swallowed him in. His mouth lathered you with the spit that once coated yours, though now preparing your asshole for the stretch he’d succumb you to, lips nipping at your hole that had you salivating your moans into your pillow. A feeling all too foreign for you, allowing someone in your most intimate area, and Eddie took it with such delicacy, manifesting all his love for your ass in the mewls he shoved between your cheeks.

It quickly found itself to be something better than lubricating your ass with the use of your slick and prodding your hole with a curious finger. Eddie had managed to bring depraved sensations with the globs of his spit and the intrusion of his tongue, forcing itself to snake past the pulses that attempted to keep him out. “Fuck, you taste so good.” Pumps and pumps of his wet muscle tickling the walls of your tight ass, as his hands pinched your body in tight grips, shaking all fat in his vicinity to do everything to be consumed by you.

“Eddie!” You hugged your pillow, suddenly feeling the fire of your warm sweater, as your ass danced along his face. “Want you to- mm! Want you to keep doing that!”

“Sorry if I’m takin’ long, baby.” Like spitting the taste of nicotine out of his mouth, a warm glob of saliva impurely landed on you, giving leeway for his thumb to massage your squeezing hole, before submerging in with your moans to accompany. “Just really wanna make sure you’re ready. Fuck, and, um, I know I said I just wanted to see how a plug works, but can I please eat at your pussy, baby, it’s right there.” God, he could smell you enticing him, seeing your pussy hole clench completely neglected as your asshole got the fun of his touch.

“Yes, please, Eddie, just want your mouth on me.” Hips thrusting back to chase what left, leaving him with nothing to do but smile and ravage your thighs and hips and sweet kisses.

“Nasty, little fucking thing, aren’t you?” He proffered no time to answer, giving himself what he wanted, face becoming smeared with the gleam of your wetness. Your pussy tickled under the scratch of his light stubble on your lips, the shoving of his nose in your sopping hole, and his tongue flicking of your clit igniting every prurient urge you ever tried to satiate on your own.

That delicious tang of your cunt infiltrated every sense within him, surrounding him in nothing but you— the hearing of you, the sight of you, the smell of you, the touch of you, the taste of you. Your raw bud throbbed under the exploitation of his mouth, sucking the shockwaves to cause your thighs to quake.

“Too much. Eds- fuck me, I can’t, s-sto- uh!” Your hand reached back at an attempt to push him away from the stampeding orgasm you were too insecure to experience him seeing. But no matter the sting of your pretty nails digging into his scalp, nothing was stopping Eddie from seeing the sheer tremble, cry, and gush he could bring your body to.

With his thick thumb plunging into your asshole, his free hand sadistically pulled at your cheeks to expose as much of your pussy as he could, leaving you to mewl at the stretch of your skin. The sole separation of your puffy lips had him moaning at the sight; such a tight pussy hole aching for something to fill it, needing to squeeze down to spark your greedy orgasm. “Shit, fucking pussy pulsating just for me.” His tongue buried itself inside, letting his finger fall to pinch at your vibrating bud, rewarding it with the tight circles of rubs that felt unbearable. “Taste so fucking delicious!” His words were barely eligible in the crevices of your cunt, but they provided all sensation to push you into your tonic state. “Cum for me, fucking cum!”

Fucked by his tongue and finger, you no further denied him, unleashing a gush of your spent to ravish his mouth, as your holes kept him in place with their tightening hold. If it wasn't for the fault of your parent’s bedroom being on the other side of your home, they would have surely heard the vulgar corruption of sweat and sex condensing the air of their daughter’s bedroom.

“Fuc- mm, uh…” Like a Pavlov dog, your pillow had soaked itself wet from the salivation of your chewed lips, as your legs shook under the grasps of Eddie’s hands.

“Shhh, baby, I’m gonna put it in. Let me play with it.” When limbs went numb after orgasmic bliss, the dealer knew now was the time your body would accept it. Gaping from the size of his thumb, Eddie’s gentle insertion made the process enjoyable, placing a delicate kiss to your asshole, before your plug was indulged in the tightness of your ass. Now crowned with a pretty, pink jewel to top. And you mewled, softly shaking your ass to adjust to your decoration, trying to find feeling in your shaky legs. “God, you sound so fucking cute.” He rubbed your ass with groping hands. “Don’t let that get into your head, though, I’m still in control here.” Eddie chuckled.

Despite falling limp, Eddie’s strength found no trouble in pulling you onto his lap, once he fell back onto his calves. While a hammering bulge was fighting back against the restraints of his cuffed belt, you couldn’t deny the fact that he didn’t feel the satisfaction of a bursting orgasm, yet your mind pondered on the reasons as to why his heart was pounding so profusely against your spinning head. Your hand splayed against his chest, as you peered up at him. “Are you nervous?”

Eddie Munson swallowed thickly. And ignored you completely. “You’re a really dirty fucking girl for playing with yourself like that all alone.” His hands pinched at the sweaty skin of your back, as your face contorted with the creases of confusion at his now unnecessary comment. “But… now you have me, though, right? Gonna play with me always?” Though, any confidence Eddie previously had speaking to you that way was gone under your scrutinizing stare, and you could hear it in the slight quiver of his voice. Because Eddie Munson wasn’t trying to dirty talk you. No, Eddie Munson was trying to seek your desire to want him around.

And you gave it to him. “Yeah.” Free of any sexual suggestion, because Eddie knew you saw through his assertive facade, piercing at his vulnerability and choosing to accept it through the deep breath of relief of his nose.

With his tongue swiping at the surrounding areas of his lips, you assisted his clean-up, thumbing at the gleam that coated his chin, subsequently letting the burden of his heavy head fall into your gentle hands. “Y’know, I see you a lot at parties- like, more than just us doing deals, I see you.” He cleared his throat. “And I’ve had this thing. This, uh, really big thing for you for a long time now, Y/N. A-And I know it’s your friends dragging you to these parties, but, I dunno, when I see you you just look so… meek, I guess, but like in a good way. Like, this whole elegance you got to you.”

Both you and Eddie stumbled into soft giggles at his boyish articulation, trying to grasp the concept of feelings from a man who’s never been graced with the excitement of committed reciprocation. But there was one thing for certain, Eddie Munson was damn sure trying this time. “Wouldn’t necessarily call myself elegant.” You chuckled.

“No, but you are.” He earnestly protested. “Y’know, you show up, not even wanting to, not saying a word, just keeping to yourself, and everyone just looks at you- notices you.”

In a town of Stacy Withers, Chrissy Cunninghams, Lucy Colemans, and Courtney Kellers, that felt like a big, fat lie smeared in your face. You brushed the stinging sentiment with quiet laughters of pain. “No one notices me, Eddie-”

“I notice you, Y/N.” He urged you to see, hands molding onto your body for fear of you not seeing what he gets to so lovingly see. His lips landed upon your cheek, brush-like strokes, dragging his affection to the canvas of your face, before a devout kiss seared your mouth to his. The swelling muscles of his arms squeezed to tighten around your back, savoring your being, and exploding when your sweater-clad arms mimicked his fervor around his neck, experiencing first-hand what was Eddie Munson’s first requited love. “Just to be here,” his lips spoke against yours, pausing to kiss away the ache that fell constant when your tongue wasn’t dancing upon his, “playing with you,” your mouths clicked with the slobber of his spit, ridden with the tart honey of your pussy juices, the same ones beginning to sog the stitching of his jeans, “just cracking that armor you got on, it’s heaven on Earth for me.” Your lips strung apart, as your thumbs soothed over his chasing movements, caressing the beating pulse point of his neck. But where you smiled, Eddie continued to try to kiss your upturn beam. “You’re not kissing me, why aren’t you kissing me?” He whined, trying to pull a pucker out of you. “Just smiling, aren’t you?”

You nodded. “Yeah,” giggling against his hungry lips.

“As pretty as you are smiling, I need you kissing me, baby.” Eddie playfully admonished with a hefty squeeze to your hip in a puerile way of presenting his frustration.

“It’s just,” late nights of perfecting the solos of various guitar sequences allowed your fingertips to skim over the delicate purpling of his under eyes, “I don’t know, Eddie, the night has just been really shitty, and you’ve somehow managed to make it a lot better.”

“Probably because I gave you one hell of an orgasm.” This time you’ll allow his refusal to accept the complimenting sincerity of your words, masking the mush of giddiness inside him with a comment of sex, because at least this one made you laugh in his hold.

“And other things, Eddie.” But there you were to peel that mask away, and dump your kindness of wanting him all over his walls. “You gave me other things.”

A building appreciation for yourself.

The cynicism of his eyes jumped hurdles to search for any fibbery he may have found himself trapped into, but you were so warm. To the touch, your skin sent his hands aflame with sparks of desire from the true benignity of your being. Warm eyes, warm lips, warm heart, working to secure a blanket of security over his shoulders from the sheets of coldness both of you have been offered by those who cared too little for your wellbeing. “Y/N, I need to tell you something.” His mouth moved without thought, as his body grew sore of ignoring the very thing it wanted: you. “Look, I’m just gonna jump right in, and say it, I want you to be mine- I want to be your boyfriend.” His eyes bounced around the brightening features of your face, creasing with lines to make room for the smile that enamored his chest. “But first I gotta prove to you.”

“Prove to me?” You gently prodded, mind working overtime to control your hands from balling the fabric of his shirt from uncontained excitement.

“See, I kinda just got this thing in my head, y’know, that I gotta prove my worth to you-”

“Eddie-”

“No, I know it sounds bad, but really, it’ll just be for my own peace of mind.” He assured you with the earnestness of his voice soothing the concern you were about to tackle to confirm Eddie Munson was, in fact, enough. “I know it might not be the biggest deal to you, but I just wanna be able to take care of you- like, please you. Make sure I can make you cum.” He whispered into your face.

You wondered where he was for the last five minutes, somehow forgetting the euphoria he had just pulled from you with the sole use of his tongue. “Didn’t- I’m sorry, I don’t mean to laugh, but didn’t you already… just do that?”

“I mean make you cum l-like couples do.” He bashfully iterated, eyes falling down, as if he hadn’t spoken the dirtiest things to you before. Though, perhaps, the beginning stages of what would blossom into a loving relationship had the boy suddenly at the age of fourteen, wondering when that momentous occasion of a first girlfriend would come. Having sex a year later surely doubled the probability, though Nicole Summers wasn’t exactly one that stuck around to find out. “Won’t exactly feel too great if the only way I can get my girlfriend off is by one single way. Let me prove to you that I can be good for you.”

“Quite presumptuous of you to believe I would even say yes to you asking me out.” You’d a hundred percent say yes.

Eddie smiled, before the strength of a sole arm entrapped you soundly against his chest, as his torso dropped forward to lay back against the plushness of your bed. Before a sharp moan could elicit the concern of your parents, Eddie brought forth his mouth to yours, once his bulge caught a steady rhythm against your buzzing clit. “Don’t think,” his hot breath concocted with yours in the heated makeout, “I got to see your tits.” Too neglected for your liking, your sweater found itself bunched under your chin, under glowing lamp lights that shadowed your peaked nipples. “Fuck me, pretty girl, just too,” a kiss to your valley, “ fucking,” a kiss to your breast, “perfect.” Eddie Munson swallowed your pert bud whole.

“Mm, that’s so nice.” You quietly mewled, with polished fingernails delicately weaving through the tousled curls of his head, sweaty and dampened from a whirlwind of nightly activities.

His hands groped at the fat, squeezing them together to tongue at your nipples, harsh flicks that had you arching into his face. “Just too fucking beautiful for this world.” He nuzzled into your chest, his nose flaring hard to inhale the sweet scent of your perfume, crisp and clean just for him to lose himself in.

“Are you going to fuck me now?” A guttural groan burrowed its way out of Eddie’s throat, crawling forward to shove kisses along your cheek that had your head pressing into the softness of your pillow.

“Not gonna worry about your folks?” When the Indianapolis Colts saw a hopeless comeback of being seven to twenty-seven against the Dallas Cowboys, your father knew to save him the anger of witnessing another pass interference with a click of a button that blackened the screen; a definitive call for the night. The heavy steps of your father’s movements followed along the stairs, wood creaking with the shift of his weight to bring him amongst the bedroom doors of the second floor. One look at your door. As every night would go, a quick knock at your door would allow your father entry into your room, hopefully catching you in that green gunk of a facemask you’d like to smear on your face, to provide your father the perfect joke to hear that loving, “dad, stop!” But given the crotchety tone of your previous engagement, your father guessed he’d follow the the statement if his gifted ‘#1 DAD’ mug, and leave you for the night. Embarrassing you will have to wait for Saturday morning’s event. And off to bed he went.

You hadn’t even realized your luck, allowing Eddie Munson to bruise your neck, oblivious to the predicament you slid by. “We can be quiet.” You pleaded, running your legs along his to feel the scratch of his itchy jeans, desperate to receive any and all sensations against your exfoliated skin.

“Open your legs for me more.” Your thighs pried open to his body, sanctioning him the authority to squeeze all he could to bring lines of tingles to your core. “Good girl, feels so fucking good to finally be touching you. Your plug in good?” Sitting snug between your cheeks, where a sticky stream of your cream pooled down your ass, bringing an extra shine to the gem of your plug.

“Mhm, feels nice.” You dug into the sheets of your bed, hips pivoting forward to the chase of Eddie’s thumb massaging into the dough of your inner thighs, hoping they’d make their move to examine your pussy with the prying of his curious fingers.

“Just wanna make sure you’re comfortable ‘s all.” He mumbled. A hand invading the crease of your thigh and hip had him softly chuckling to himself; quiet guffaws of disbelief to the radiating fever warmth that was congenial from the suffocation of your meaty thighs.

Your bitten lips twisted into a pout. “Why are you laughing at me?”

“Not laughin’ at you, baby.” He laughed. Eyeroll. “Just love that pussy heat, y’know?” Eddie callowly smiled, bringing forth a burn to your cheeks, as your watched wrinkles of titillation annex his face from the sheer look of your natural body. “I dunno, guess it kinda makes my head a little bigger knowing she’s waiting for me.” He became delirious on the hypnotics of your moving hips. “Fuck, want me to touch you, pretty girl?”

You were falling desperate under his command. Your nails dug their crescent shapes into his hand, skin flooding with the pumping veins from the stinging rush, an urgent call to have him finally give in. “Please, Eddie, been waiting too long.”

“Ah-ah, have some fucking manners first, not gonna get it that easily without asking nicely.” He tortuously tantalized with the coming of his hand beginning to lightly rake the wisps of your manicured pubes. A whine of despair was all he was met with, nothing but your hips attempting to gyrate his hand to your needy clit. “C’mon, don’t get all greedy on me, baby, remember this is about you, you’ll get it all eventually. Just need you to feel everything as much as possible. Let me just rub the outside; up and down.” The weight of his fingers interfered with the glue of your slick, now pulling at your pussy lips to showcase the rawness of your cunt, strung by webs of your syrup that had him itching to shove his tongue in once more. “And maybe, I’ll just take my finger,” his pointer, pushed out ever so lightly to tickle the wet skin below your pussy, before the rigid callouses dragged up to spark the nerves of your puffy labia, catching a rub to your erecting clit, “and touch you whenever I feel like it.”

Your breath became caught in strings of gasps. “Eds.” Purring with delight at the tease of his finger brushing at your impulses of sensation. “Please, please, can I have you?”

“Just wanted to see that sexy fucking smile you do when you get all excited.” Eddie admired, reveling in the twinkle that bedecked your face to light up from the touch of his fingers. “You are so fucking hot, man.” Mumbling to himself, his head refuting the belief of this being reality. But your body moved with the liveliness of feelings, your voice rang with melodies of harmony, and your smell infused his skin with the sweetness of sugar and oils; no matter how hard Eddie Munson’s eyes welded shut with dubiety, there was no dying the realness of a woman before him. “Wanna play a little game with you, baby.”

“A game?” Your voice softly upped in review of him, as he climbed over with a heavy hand turned soft to pet your head with loving strokes that matched the brief attachment of his lips to yours.

“Yeah, just a little one, nothing to worry about, just love seeing your face n’ everything.” He vaguely detailed, letting your mind lose itself to the softness of his peppered kisses. “First, you gotta any names you wanna call me: master, sir, daddy?”

Eddie watched your eyes shy away from his brashness, adorably being unable to endure the heat of his words. “Um,” your teeth pinched into your lips, “I-I think sir’s kinda nice.” You timidly admitted, only ever divulged by the encouragement of Eddie’s affection.

And he smiled against your lips, dragging his devotion to your cheek, temple, and forehead. “I think it’s kinda nice, too.” From you? Anything would have his body stirring. Eddie abruptly sat up from your body, his mangled hair briefly frizzing from the overhead reach of his shirt, that left his torso blank of any band tee he’d previously adorned. His abdomen came to light as a soft tummy lined with the harsh crevices of flexed muscles in a strive to show off a physique he thought would look best for you. But your warmhearted hand relaxed the strain of his stomach with a single stroke to his naval, sending shockwaves with every graze against his happy trail.

In the midst of pulling away the worn leather belt from the clinking metal buckle, your words swiftly halted his movements. “You’re very pretty, Eddie.”

His head bowed, soft laughter coming through the nostrils of his nose, as he shook his head with a smile that adamantly won over his face, despite a hefty attempt of biting his lip to keep it down. “Feel like I should be the one telling you that, look at you.”

“Would it be so wrong for you to hear the truth, too?” A smile so pure, it shot straight to his heart, causing a speed bump to the rhythmic beating of his chest.

His cheeks darkened with vulnerability. “I- yeah, you’re really about to fucking get it…” both of your soft laughter mingled into the air, as he tugged the length of leather from his belt loops, “…and thank you.” His lips pressed to your inner knee, whilst undoing his pants. But then, he paused. Eddie Munson had not even the slightest idea of how easily you were able to undress before him. Perhaps, it simply fell down to the principle of the matter that Eddie Munson was already head over heels crazy about you before you ever spoke to him. He’d like to thank Chrissy Cunningham- or, actually, whatever stress it was she was enduring for being the sole reason why she went seeking him that fateful Friday afternoon. Now, he understands the grossness of that sentiment, but, truthfully, as an aspiring entrepreneur, the problems of your clientele surely become the profit of your business. And while he wasn’t exactly looking to better this capitalist venture, it did, in fact, lead him to you. Standing in the back, watching reddening leaves fall to the ground, under the guise of being your friend’s lookout. C’mon, that rotting bench hadn’t seen company for years, Chrissy Cunningham was merely weary of his presence and needed backup. But gladly so, as for once, someone’s uncalled for judgment allowed him the privilege of staring at their pretty friend. So excuse him for suddenly falling insecure about the look of his body. You were quite literally everything to Eddie Munson. Would he be for yo-

“It’s okay.” What? “I want to see you, Eddie.” You smiled so perfectly.

Without notice, stirs of anxiety turned into fluttering butterflies in his belly. And Eddie Munson smiled back. Following the squeaks of your bed, he headed off, taking a hold of what was his pants and boxers into a tight grip, and finding the confidence to rid himself of any further clothing. Springing from confinement, seven inches of weight bobbed against his naval with a smack, as you relished in the sight of his cock with bulging veins that strained to pump blood to his scarlet, mushroom tip. Any concerns about the appearance of his area abruptly left his rampant mind, after witnessing the dragging pull of your plump lips opening for your mouth to widen in awe. Your thighs rubbing in heat, a desperate attempt to satiate that rubescent, needy clit that thudded with tingles from the mere sight of him naked.

Yeah, nothing to worry about- in fact, quite a large inflation to his ego. “Decent enough, huh?” His lips twisted with a sneer.

A deprived “mhm” moaned its way out of you.

Rushing to place himself between the warmth of your legs, Eddie positioned his cock to sit heavy against your tummy. His large balls of cum became immersed with the slick of your pussy, as his velvet skin rubbed against your drenched folds to fully show you the length of his member; nudging it to your belly button, whilst the chaos of his pubic hairs titillated your thighs. “This game, baby, the only thing with it is that you can only cum when I tell you.” His eyes kept a close watch of your rippling stomach with every smack of his cock he caused. “You understand?”

“Yes, I understand.” You sighed, becoming antsy with the tickle on your abdomen from the sheer weight of his dick.

“That’s the right fucking answer,” he darkly chuckled, “just gonna start playing with you, pretty girl.” His hand directed the fat tip of his cock to butt at your clit, forcing your hips to jolt awake with the electricity of pressure against your sensitive nub. “Just like that, you fucking like that, don’t you?”

“M-More, please.” You clawed at your bed sheets, stressing the material with every rub of his length against your cunt.

“Nah, baby, gonna treasure this, take it nice and slow.” He agonized, sucking in breaths with every tense of his balls, as you brought pulsating tingles to his body by doing nothing, but laying pretty. “Fuck, you really do something to me, whatever you got going on is doing a fucking number on me, sweetheart.” Saying all the right things to you, his words shot straight to your pussy, making it impossible to hold back your soft moans. “Honestly, baby, not really one to talk about my feelings, I guess, but you- everytime I come by knockin’ on your door, I just get these nerves n’ shit. Gotta talk to myself, too,” he husky laughter pierced so sexily, “honestly, like ‘damn, gotta pull yourself together, can’t let her pretty ass see you like this.’” Eddie’s cock dragged through your folds, separating strings of wetness to marinate on your raw cunt. “And I just wanted to kiss you for the longest, wanted to be right here playing with this fucking pussy.”

“I want you, fuck.” You heaved, hips chasing an itch he refused to have you revel in. “Always want you, Eddie.”

His cock spurred excitedly. “Shit, sweetheart, can’t say things like that to me, fuck.” Eddie’s tip ran through your slit, the swollen head now prodding at your hole, just a first glimpse of the stretch you were about to endure. “God, just having me lay here with you, seeing you, hearing you, touching you, it’s the greatest thing ever. Does that feel good baby? Like me teasin’ you?”

“Yes, sir, please, Eddie.” You hummed, trailing a high that was building too slowly for your liking. “Want more.”

“Mm, really like hearing you say that, love your pretty, little voice.” Eddie’s free hand dropped by your head, supporting his weight to hover over you, letting his unruly hair cascade a waterfall around you. “As a matter of fact, you should speak up. Tell me you wanna be a good girl for me.” So close, his cock was barely grazing the entrance of your cunt, all before tortuously leaving your warmth to dissipate that spark in your body. And up above, Eddie was enjoying the show of your contorting face of frustration. “C’mon, you can say it.”

“I wanna be your good girl, sir.” You pleaded, taking a grasp around his supporting wrist to help find your rhythm against his teasing dick. “I promise, I’m your good girl, just let me have it.”

“Yeah, you wanna be my good girl.” He mocked, aligning his slick head of precum and your arousal to your clenching hole that oozed more wetness. “Here’s the thing, you’re already mine, so who am I to deny you- mm, fuck!”

Falling chest to chest, your nails clawed up his back at the burning sensation of his girth breaching your seizing walls. Eddie’s forehead dropped to yours, as the mixture of both your hot breath confined what little space was left between your gaping lips. “Slow, slow!” You urged him, as his bangs crumpled against your head with a fervent nod to listen to your pleads. Every clasp of your cunt had him harshly breathing through his nose, fighting the onslaught of sensations that were subsequently bringing him closer to the edge far faster than anticipated. “Uh! Fuck, you’re so big!” Inch by inch, your body was giving way to the pleasure of his deliberate intrusion, welcoming him in with a warm hug from your cunt.

Nearly lacerated by his nails, Eddie hoped the balling of his fist would defuse the overwhelming feelings churning in his chest, but suddenly being submerged balls deep into your body had his mouth spewing with all he felt for you. “Fuck, you really don’t understand what you do to me.” He whined against your face. “First time I saw you, I didn’t know what to do with myself. I don’t really get in situations like these often- hell, fucking ever, but you! I just had to do whatever I could to get you. Honestly, it kinda pissed me off.” Eddie breathlessly chuckled against your lips, driving his greedy hips to drag his cock along your walls. “Holy s-shit, fuck, how the hell was I letting some girl have this affect on me. But you’re not just some girl, Y/N. God, mm, you’re fucking everything.”

Leave it to Eddie Munson to confess his feelings from the tightness of your pussy.

“Eddie!” His cock found no trouble in abusing that spot within you that had your legs occupying his waist like a lifeline, toes curling from the rapture that trembled your legs. Your hands forced his head to your lips, swallowing each other's moans to consume the desperation of night. Where spit messily slicked your lips, a ring of cream surrounded Eddie’s cock that smear the wetness against your pussy.

“Fuck, just wanna do everything for you.” His lips dragged against yours, bodies bumping with every pound of skin slapping Eddie caused with his dick. “Got your holes all plugged up, nasty, little fucking thing.” Pursuing that desperate high, your pelvis began meeting his with an impassioned gyrate; the swollen head of his cock bruising your g-spot, all whilst the tickle of his pubes itched at your inflamed clit. “You wanna come, baby- fuck, I know you do!” His stomach clenched with every squelch your pussy created under the squeezing hold of his dick’s continuous reentry.

Licking and rubbing your cunt to a tender mess of cum and slick had your second orgasm of the night pummeling quickly under Eddie’s intrusive cock, and you were pleading to see white stars from the fucking of his body to yours. “Yes, please, please, sir! Fuck, you’re gonna make me cum, you’re gonna- mm!”

Sweat coated your rubbing bodies together, where you nipples abraded against his to have you wailing with all sensations, yanking that orgasmic string within you. “Squeezing down on my fucking cock, yeah, baby, you can cum, but not until I say so.”

Eddie Munson was torturing himself when his body stilled inside you, but seeing your desperate face twist into a crying mess was far better than dumping inside you within the first five minutes. “No, no, sir, please!” Your hips attempted to fuck themselves deeper onto his cock, but Eddie’s harsh hand imprinted itself to the fat of your curves, holding your down from any endeavors to cumming.

“Hey, hey, listen, listen, sweetheart.” He took a hold of your jaw, forcing your eyes upon his. “Remember, you’re my good girl; gotta be good for me.” All along this is what Eddie wanted, turning your mind into deprived mush to cloud those overcrowding thoughts that hurt your little head. And he watched it transpire before him, seeing you desperately nod to his words, completely at his mercy with full trust to care for you. “I know I’m being mean, baby, but you gotta believe me when I say this will feel so good.” His puffing breath fanned your face. “I’m so proud of you, so proud of you getting all that shit off your chest, so proud of you letting me play with your holes, being this perfect, dirty girl for me. Now, I want you to come, okay, just gonna play with your pussy-”

“Ah, fuck!” Your body jolted under the tight, circling rubs of his rough fingers against your clit.

“Sh, sh, don’t want your folks disturbing us, baby.” His devilish sneer taunted your face. “Just tell me you wanna come, okay? Say it.”

Your lips incoherently spewed out. “Iwannacomesir-”

“Slower, pretty girl, slower.” Eddie demanded, with each pinch to your buzzing pearl fueling that plucking string of hot cum inside you to burst.

“I want to cum, sir.” Your trembling hands secured his hot cheeks to bring him forth, as your lips whispered against his with tiny kisses. “I… want to… cum, sir.”

Eddie smiled against your lips, before planting a fat sucker on them. “Good, now shut the fuck up, and you better listen to me.” With your heads bound closely, all of the world became lost in the homey environment within Eddie’s curtain of hair. Where his two-in-one shampoo clashed with your coconut hair mask, and the smell of sex fermented the humid air of hot breath, Eddie began hammering his cock into your sopping pussy, with spurts of wetness jumping to souse your connecting bodies. “You are so fucking gorgeous.” He huffed. “Anyone can see that plain as day- so fucking incredible. You deserve the fucking world, deserve to be taken care of, and I swear, baby, I swear on my life to be that man.” Eddie moaned into your ear, his wet lips exciting every nerve in your body with hot whispers, that had you mutilating his skin with streaks of unbearable red. “Just feel me playing with you, pleasing you, only you, pretty girl- f-fuck! Tell me I’m yours, fucking tell me.”

Your legs tightened around his backside, driving the heels of your feet to the tiny plush of his ass, forcing him deeper into your cunt. With your hands caressing the beauty of his face, you managed to find the strength to open your screwed shut eyes, and meet the round ones that were pouring desperation into yours. “You’re mine, Eddie.” Spoken so delicately from the hoarseness of your throat, whilst the filthiest actions were occurring to your body. “You’re all mine, Eddie. No one else. Just you.” Sealing it with a searing kiss that had him sobbing groans onto your tongue, in a heated mix with your whines.

“When I tell you, cum for me, okay, baby? Ten.” His heavy hand forced a grip to your leg, hiking them higher for an angle unbeknownst to you, leaving you to squeal into the crevice of his neck. “Nine… eight… seven, love how fucking greedy your body is, almost there, my pretty girl.” Eddie’s balls were seizing with twitches, as his engorged cock was building up a hot load that was on the precipice of flooding you. “ Six, look right at me, five… four, wanna see your pretty face when you finish.” Too much pressure was mounting on your cervix, as your body began losing itself to the thrills of an impending orgasm. “Three… two, tell me you wanna cum.”

“I wanna cum!”

“Louder!”

“I wanna cum on your cock!” Singing it to his ears with cries of harmony had his body cramping with pleasure.

“One, fucking do it, cum for me!” Your back arched with the snap of your orgasm, a scorching gush of creamy white invading his cock with unfathomable squeezes and squelches. “Fuck, fuck, fuck… f-fuckkkk!” A hose of his sizzling seed fucked itself into you with stuttering hips that had you wailing into his buff shoulder, nails bloodying his alabaster skin with reds of passion, as your bodies convulsed in the aftershocks of pure hedonism. “T-There you go, fucking ride it out, sweetheart, ride it out with me.” His muscles flexed under the intense explosion of his bust; beads of musky sweat falling down the length of his body to infuse the creamy cum that matted his pubic hair. “God, you’re so fucking sexy, so fucking beautiful.”

“Auugh!” Your fogged mind whined in the lost stars of white that flashed your vision.

“It’s okay, my baby, just relax, you’re alright.” Eddie brought you back to reality, peppering kisses of adoration along your perspired skin, cementing every word he ever uttered to you in the heat of the moment. A brief cry of discomfort from his cock pulling out had him comforting your body with gentle caresses, all while witnessing the artistry that was a pearly concoction of both your hot cum painting the pink jewel of your butt plug with a filthy iridescent. “Fuck, you really are fucking mine, Y/N.”

Your soft voice ripped through the sounds of heavy breaths, as your body felt like waves of crashing water under his touch. “Yeah.”

“Yeah?”

You weakly laughed. “Yeah, you can definitely be my boyfriend.” As if that was ever a question. Your gentle mewls echoed into his ears, as his thick fingers made the move to smoothly twist out your butt plug from your needy hole, that felt the need to keep its clamping clutch onto it. Eddie swore under his breath, falling in love with the winking gape of your asshole. While a clean-up was surely at hand, your beckoning voice had him dropping your toy to lay by your side. His lips found solace in the company of your own, as he brought your sticky being of sweat and cum close, snug under the protective arms of his body. “Yeah, I’m your boyfriend, and you’re my girlfriend.” Eddie Munson’s lips upturned to a damning smile that had you clinging to his closeness for the rest of the night.

#stranger things #eddie munson #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson oneshot #eddie munson blurb #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson smut #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x y/n #cherie’s recs #peter parkqueue

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silkholland · 4 months

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JOE KEERY as GATOR TILLMAN

#the spitting has me thinking thoughts #joe keery #fargo fx #gator tillman #peter parkqueue

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silkholland · 4 months

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I just want you to know i do a little cheer in my seat every time i see a new chapter is out. And this one broke my heart in the best way!

I knew you'd linger like a tattoo kiss | part 26

Warnings: 18+, angst, alcohol consumption, weed, mentions of vomiting, mentions of sex, mentions of cunnilingus, clueless reader, jealousy

Pairings: Steve Harrington x fem!reader | Eddie Munson x fem!reader

Summary: During a spontaneous birthday 'party', you find some things out, things that maybe should've been left unsaid.

Word count: 6k+

A/N: So, this chapter took a whole turn while I was writing it. It was supposed to head into a whole different direction but my angsty heart, had to say no to the fluffy route. @hellfire--cult thank you for helping me, you're amazingggg

series masterlist

Steve lied.

He lied again.

It’s something he hasn’t done in a while.

He promised himself to never do it again, knowing how much damage it had caused in the past, in both relationships that he had.

This lie is harmless, though. At least, he thinks that it is.

He spent the day with Robin and Dustin, they had surprised him with a homemade birthday cake that Robin had made with Chrissy’s help, it would’ve been a cute one, had Dustin not ruined it with his Star Wars decorations. Lucas and Max showed up as well, ‘surprising’ him by throwing a bunch of balloons and confetti at him.

They made him blow out the candles, before forcing him to open all the presents. Dustin’s present was not surprising, at all. A Star Wars movie collection. Lucas had given him a keychain, with a little basketball pendant. Max acted all careless as always, shrugging it off when he gave her a kind smile and a ‘thank you’, yet, she gave him one of the best presents, a collection of polaroids of him with the teens, with Robin and even you, along with new records, claiming that he needs to expand his music taste. He has yet to unwrap Robin’s presents.

They ate cake, went to the movies and the diner. And afterwards, Steve drove everyone home. Robin didn’t believe him when he said that he made plans with his parents for the evening, that they’d come home to spend his birthday with him. She was suspicious, not buying the lies he was feeding her with, Steve could tell but she had no choice but to say goodbye when he dropped her off at home, he really didn’t want her to stay longer than she had to, he wanted to be alone, by himself. So, when she begrudgingly got out of the car and gave him a sad smile, he gave her a cheerful one back, pretending to be happy when he was feeling anything but it.

He didn’t go home. He knew that his parents wouldn’t come and he couldn’t stand the thought of staying in that big house, all by himself, tonight. He drove past your street, as well, fighting the urge to go and see you.

There is only one place he knew he would find peace at. The Hideout.

Now, he is sitting here, in the corner of the bar, with a drink that he had bought with his fake ID, soon he won’t have to use it anymore. With his head hung low, he lets his mind go to places that he had avoided all day. Dark thoughts that hold nothing but heartbreak and loneliness. He doesn’t feel miserable, just really fucking sad. He has people who care about him, friends who love him, people he now considers family. And yet, he still feels lonelier than ever.

He looks around the bar, it’s not very crowded, it never is. Maybe on weekends, but never during the week. Rock music plays in the back, he hears the chatter of a group of young men by the bar, they’re laughing, throwing back drinks – they are clearly having a great time. For a while, Steve watches them. How they laugh with each other, how they all look so carefree and happy. He doesn’t even know what it feels like to feel that way anymore, to have fun and be happy without ruining everything with his actions in the matter of just a few minutes.

He sighs, leaning back in the chair, he looks down at his drink, that lately he started to find more and more comfort in.

The door opens but he doesn’t bother to look up, not caring about whoever it is that walked through the door. He is so focused on the miserable feeling inside his chest, the tearing, the longing, the yearning, the hurt.

Before his mind can react, his heart is already fluttering when he hears your voice. He raises his head, eyes finding you immediately. You’re here. You’re here with Eddie. And you look more beautiful than ever. You’re wearing a black dress and the dark denim jacket that he was cursing at, last year when he had yet to find out who it belonged to. Your hair is falling softly in waves, your lips are glowing a soft pink beneath the dim light, you’re giggling, slapping Eddie’s arm playfully when he whispers something in your ear.

His eyes soften, despite you being here with him, giggling at him, he can’t help but smile when he finally sees you again. It’s only been a few weeks since he had properly seen you, yet, it seems like forever.

When your eyes find him and your giggles die down, your smile falls and your eyes widen. He freezes. Not knowing how to react or what to do. Not only have you caught him staring, you have also caught him lying. Again. You were the first person he lied to about his birthday plans. He looks away with a blush on his cheeks, his hand grip the glass tighter, he inwardly curses himself out for coming here, tonight.

“It’s his birthday, right?” Eddie mumbles behind you.

“Yeah,” you whisper in confusion. “He told me that he would spend his birthday with his parents..”

Eddie looks away from you and back at Steve. He sits there, looking crestfallen. His shoulders are slumped, his face etched with sadness, he can see it, even from a distance. The sight of him sitting there so lonely and sad is pitiful. Eddie knows what he feels like, at this moment. His dad never cared about him, not even on his birthdays, he never even bothered to give him a call from wherever he was currently living or staying at.

But, Eddie has Wayne, he always had Wayne. Steve doesn’t. He doesn’t have anyone who looks after him. He is all by himself.

“I guess they didn’t come,” you mumble with sadness and a hint of disappointment in your voice. “They never do.”

“Robin told me that he was acting weird when he dropped her off earlier.”

Despite his dislike for him, he can’t help but feel bad for Steve. The people he wants the most, aren’t in his life.

His parents are gone.

You are gone.

Steve had changed. As much as he doesn’t want to admit it, Eddie can see that he has changed for the better. That he isn’t the guy who hurt you, who left you standing on your birthday, who broke your heart and left you for someone else. He isn’t that guy anymore. Had he still been that guy, Eddie wouldn’t even bother to look at him twice and feel any ounce of pity for him but now, things are different. He is different. In a way, it scares Eddie, because he knows that he now has a chance for a second try, with you.

“Do you think he’s here by himself?”

You shrug, looking away from Steve, you turn towards Eddie, “yeah.”

You feel the little item in your pocket, the one that suddenly feels too heavy, the one you itch to reach for and give it to the one you got it for.

Eddie looks down at you, at the sadness in your eyes. For once, it doesn’t make him feel frustrated or annoyed to see you be so sad for someone who hurt you.

“No one should be alone on their birthday,” Eddie mumbles.

“Yeah,” you sigh, looking down at your hands. “But, I-I guess it’s what he wanted, he could’ve spent time with Robin.”

“He was with her before, wasn’t he?”

“Yeah.”

Eddie sighs. There is hesitation in your voice and in your eyes.

“Do you want to spend time with him?” He asks, already feeling the dread tugging in his chest, knowing that the night won’t go the way he wanted it to.

For a moment, you stare into Eddie’s brown eyes, there’s a kindness in them, kindness for him. That is something so rare.

“Uh, I’m sure he wants to be alone.”

Eddie knows you. Eddie knows what you want, right now. But, you are hesitating out of fear of upsetting him.

“Sweetheart,” he whispers, placing his finger under your chin, tilting your head up. “I won’t get angry. If you want to spend time with him tonight, we can cancel our plans and you can go be with him.” He nudges his chin into Steve’s directions. “I don’t like him but, shit, even I can’t stand the fucking kicked puppy look that he’s sporting, right now.”

You eye his face. Even through the sadness for Steve, the smile for you, you can see the slight fear in his eyes. The fear that any moment with you, will be his last one before you find your way back to Steve, before you say goodbye to a friendship that might’ve saved your life. But even through the fear, he still wants the best for you, he still wants what you want.

“I think he wants to be alone,” you repeat.

Eddie looks over your shoulder to see him staring at you.

“Nah, I don’t think so.”

You sigh, shaking your head.

“What if we all hang out together?”

“Sweetheart, I don’t think that Steve would be happy to spend time with me–”

“Please, Eddie,” you whisper, mustering up the best puppy eyes and a pout that he can never say no to. “We can just have fun together, you’ve never met drunk Steve before, he can be funny – unless he decides to break your heart but, that won’t happen to you, don’t worry,” you giggle.

He raises his brows at you, surprised that you are making a joke about that.

“You go buy us drinks and I’ll go convince him to spend time with us. We can just all get drunk together, maybe you’ll finally get along,” you shrug, giving him a sheepish smile, you place your hands on his chest, pushing him towards the bar, not taking no for an answer.

“I don’t think it’ll take much convincing,” he snorts. As though you would ever have to convince Steve to spend time with you. Eddie is certain that all it takes is a glance from you and that man is already by your side, you got Steve wrapped around your finger, just like him, and you don’t even know it.

You turn on your heel, not waiting for a response from Eddie. You make your way over to Steve, whose head is still hung low. Your heart thumps a little faster in your chest when you inch closer and closer to him. You push your hand into your pocket, reaching for the tiny bag that you had taken with you earlier when you considered dropping by his house.

You stop in front of him, taking a shaky breath as you place the small bag on the table, sliding it towards him.

“Happy birthday, Steve,” you whisper.

His wide eyes stare at the bag, the tiny jewelry pouch that clearly holds a present inside for him. His eyes soften, staring at your ringed fingers that linger next to his hand for a moment.

He looks up, slowly. Hazel eyes flashing with softness when they meet yours. You stare at him with a shy smile, sadness lingering in your pretty eyes. His heart flutters so strongly, he longs to touch you.

“Thank you,” he whispers, giving you a smile. “W-What’s that?” He asks, pointing to his present without tearing his eyes from you.

“I got you a little present. I-It’s nothing special just, I just wanted to get you something. You don’t have to open it now, just uh–”

“Y/n,” he smiles, interrupting your rambling, “you didn’t even have to get me anything but I appreciate it, I will love it.”

“You don’t even know what it is.”

“Yeah but it’s from you, so, I will love it, dolly.”

A smile appears on your face, you nod slowly, whispering a small ‘okay’. You know that Steve always loved to keep certain presents for last, so you’re not surprised to see him tucking it into the pocket of his jeans.

“Your parents didn’t come?”

He looks down, holding the glass tighter, he shakes his head, unable to bear the pitiful look on your face.

“Oh.”

“It’s okay,” he whispers before you can say ‘I'm sorry, steve.’ He doesn’t want you to pity him.

“No, it’s not. You shouldn’t be alone.”

“I-I wasn’t alone, I was with Robin all day and the kids–”

“But, now you are.”

He raises his head to look at you. And, before he can even say anything, his words get caught in his throat when he looks at you. Your eyes are glistening, not with tears and sadness, but with something else, something he cannot read. You look at him differently than you did weeks ago, not in a way that scares him or breaks him but, in a way, that only leaves him with one too many questions. He struggles to read you, to understand you. It’s like he can no longer see through you the way he could before. Nonetheless, he feels so calm and safe in your presence and he wants this moment to last forever.

“Right now, I’m not, though. You’re here.”

You smile at his words.

“Yeah, I’m here.”

When Eddie appears by your side, Steve tries not to let his smile fall.

Right. He is here too.

“Happy Birthday, man.”

To Steve’s surprise, he sees Eddie not with two but three shots in his hands, he places them all on the table. Grinning at him in a way he can’t tell whether it’s a kind one or a sarcastic one.

“Thanks,” Steve nods at him.

Eddie pulls the chair back for you, you smile at him, taking the seat across from Steve. Eddie sits down beside you, leaving Steve with a questioning look on his face as he looks between the two of you.

“W-What?”

“You think we’re gonna let you spend the night alone, Harrington?”

Steve looks at Eddie in confusion, hearing these words not from yours but from his mouth leaves him more puzzled than ever. Eddie spending time with him willingly? He purses his lips, squinting his eyes as he turns to look at you. You smile at him, shrugging. You slide one of the shots towards him.

“I mean, I thought that we could spend this night together,” you say, smiling with hope in your eyes. “Or we can leave if that’s what you–”

“No, I-I want to.”

He looks between you two, giving Eddie an awkward smile.

“Cool! Let’s drink, then.”

“Yeah, let’s drink,” he chuckles as he ditches his glass of whiskey for the shot of whatever Eddie had ordered.

“When’s the last time you got drunk?” You ask them both.

“Oh man,” Eddie mumbles, leaning back in his seat, he puts his arm on the back of your chair. “I don’t even remember, it’s been a while. What about you, sweetheart?”

“Uh, well, I had a cocktail night with the girls, a few weeks ago,” you say, giggling. “Oh, also at a party.”

You and Eddie look at each other, he instantly knows what party you are talking about when he sees the amused look on your face. He chuckles, though he instantly gets taken back that night. When you showed up with that stolen bat plushie, when you told him how much you missed him, when you told him that you wished you met him first.

Steve looks between you two, a sinking feeling in his stomach takes place. There are things you share with Eddie, things that he will never know about because he isn’t in his place anymore.

“I knew it! I knew you were lying to me, Dingus!”

Startled by the voice, all three of you snap your heads towards the angry girl walking towards the three of you with a frown on her face, pointing her finger at Steve.

Steve’s eyes widen, “I can explain.”

Something about the anger on Robin’s face and the panic in Steve’s features makes you giggle.

Robin slaps the back of his head, lightly.

“Ouch! Robin!”

“You are such a–”

“Dingus, yeah yeah, I know.”

Eddie laughs at that, smirking at Steve who throws him a glare.

“You think that’s funny, Munson?”

Eddie leans back with a satisfied grin, “actually yeah.”

Robin plops down in the seat next to Steve, still staring at him with a frown on her face.

“Why did you lie to me? Why are you here?”

Steve sighs, scratching the back of his neck as he gives her a sheepish smile.

“And what are you two doing here?” She asks, turning to look at you and Eddie.

“Came here for a couple of drinks and then we found this sad puppy,” Eddie mumbles, pointing at Steve.

Steve rolls his eyes, mumbling a few incoherent words under his breath.

“We just asked him to spend the night with us.”

Robin gives you a surprised look before her eyes move back to Eddie, who, doesn’t look as enthusiastic about this whole thing as you do.

“How did you even know I was here?”

Robin leans her elbow on the table, tilting her head at Steve, “well, I was craving some burgers and my favorite driver was apparently at a birthday dinner so I couldn’t ask him to drive me, so I walked, imagine my surprise when I saw a certain BMW standing in front of The Hideout.”

“Robin–”

“No! Don’t Robin me! Why’d you lie?”

Steve didn’t want her to feel like it’something she had to do, hang out with him, spend his birthday with him because there’s no one else for him other than her. He doesn’t want her to do anything out of pity for him.

He doesn’t feel comfortable to talk about it in front of Eddie or even you, knowing that you pity him the most. You always did and he hated it. A part of him always thought that that’s why you were with him, because you pitied him, the sad boy who was always abandoned by his own parents, because you knew he had no one else that cared about him, that loved him. So you stayed, you stayed even when you shouldn’t have.

Even now, you look at him with those big sad eyes with that look of pity in them.

“Robin,” you warn when you notice how uncomfortable he looks, how he clenches his jaw and bites his lip.

Eddie senses the tension, the looks you are giving Robin, the way she is ignoring you because she desperately wants an explanation from Steve.

“Lay off, Robin. Maybe he just wanted to get a few drinks and not deal with your annoying ass,” he says to her with a grin.

She flips him off, rolling her eyes at him.

“Just relax, here, take my shot and drink it, you need it, Robin,” you say, sliding the shot glass towards her.

She turns towards the two of you, shaking her head with squinted eyes, “you’re both pretty rude.”

“So are you, Robby.”

“Ew,” she scrunches her face up at Eddie, “don’t fucking call me Robby.”

“I’m gonna keep calling you that, if you don’t stop being so rude to sad birthday boy over there.”

Steve sighs, running his hand down his face.

“Can you just call me Steve, dude?”

You giggle at the annoyed look on his face.

Eddie grins, “okay, Steve.”

“Not like that.”

“Like what?”

“Like you’re mocking me!” Steve exclaims.

“How am I mocking you, Steve?”

Steve scoffs, shaking his head, “see, you’re doing it again!”

“Oh my god, shut the hell up!” Robin slams her hands against the table, truly, shutting them both up. “Eddie, get me a drink.”

Both Steve and Eddie look at her as though she had grown two heads, while you giggle at her little outburst.

“That was an order.”

“Damn girl,” Eddie whistles, getting up from his chair, “you need more than one drink,” he mumbles as he walks off.

“You are both two immature idiots,” she groans, burying her hands in her hair.

“You are so mean to me,” Steve mumbles, looking at her in disbelief, “and that on my birthday!”

A smile tugs at your lips, you look between them, chuckling at the way she rolls her eyes at him.

“You know what, I really need a few drinks.”

“Wait, are we actually doing this?” Steve asks, gesturing to the shots on the table.

“What, getting drunk?”

He nods at you.

“Yeah. Just like old times, right?” You smile at him in a way you always used to.

“Just like old times.”

His eyes suddenly flash with amusement, he snorts, “do you remember my fifteenth birthday?”

Your eyes widen as a giggle falls from your lips.

“Of course I remember!”

Robin’s eyes flash with curiosity. There’s things she doesn’t know about yours and his friendship, things neither you or Steve had talked about yet.

“Wait, what happened on your fifteenth birthday?”

Your eyes light up with excitement, you lean closer to the table, looking at Steve, waiting for him to tell the story.

He chuckles at the look on your face before he turns his body towards Robin.

“We stole my dad’s super expensive wine, he was supposed to take it to some event – I got in so much trouble for that, by the way,” he says to you.

“I know, I know. Keep going, Steve.”

“Alright, so, we stole that wine bottle. We played a drinking game, kept passing that bottle back and forth until we were fucking hammered,” he says, chuckling as he thinks back to that day in his backyard. The way you giggled at anything he said, the way you danced and ran around barefoot on the grass, the way you jumped in his pool, fully clothed, the way he hugged you when you were both in the water.

“This crazy girl over there started to cannon ball into my pool–”

You giggle at the memory.

“She did it over and over again and it looked so fun so I joined her. Honestly, it was pretty fun but I had half a bottle of wine and ate a whole pizza before that.”

“Oh,” Robin scrunches her face up, already seeing where this is going.

Steve can’t even fight the smile off his lips, his eyes crinkle, his cheeks flush and he giggles, “we’re in the pool, having the best time of our lives, right? And, fifteen year old me apparently thought that it was a good idea to kiss my best friend, but I totally missed her lips and kissed her nose and she fucking laughed at me, but I wanted to try again. I lean in when I suddenly feel the urge to throw up.”

“Oh, ew! Stop!”

“He threw up in the pool, Robin!”

“That’s so disgusting!” She whines, trying to get the image of Steve puking into the pool out of her head, “you don’t have any better stories to tell?”

You and Steve can’t help but laugh harder at her reaction.

“I mean the kiss on the nose is fucking embarrassing, Steve. But throwing up in front of her afterwards?”

“I thought it was funny,” you giggle.

“What is funny?” Eddie asks when he comes back with two drinks for Robin, placing them on the table and sliding them towards her before he sits down beside you again.

“Trust me, you don’t wanna know,” Robin says with a look of disgust on her face.

“I don’t?” He asks, glancing at you and how amused you look.

“No, you really don’t.”

“Okay,” he snorts.

He glances at Steve, grinning at him, “hey dude, I got a birthday present for you.”

All three of you turn to look at Eddie in surprise, watching him in curiosity when he raises his hand, reaching for something in the pocket of his dark flannel. He picks out a joint, tossing it at Steve who catches it with one hand.

He laughs at that, raising one brow, giving Eddie a smile, “I do appreciate this, it’s kind of expensive nowadays.”

“Is it expensive?” You ask, turning to Eddie, “you always give me some for free.”

Eddie’s lips curl into a smile, he lifts his hand towards your face, tapping your nose with his finger, “well, you’re my best friend.”

Steve keeps his eyes down, not wanting to look between you and Eddie.

You smile at the way Eddie looks at you, the way his eyes glisten, the way his cheeks are always a little red, the way–

“Do you guys wanna smoke this?” Steve asks, cutting the voice in your head.

“Here?”

He chuckles at Robin, “of course not. We could go back to my place, my parents aren’t home, anyways.”

To Eddie’s surprise, he not only directs these words at you and Robin, he also directs them at him.

“Uh, I’d love to!” Robin grins.

Steve gives you a hopeful smile, one that makes it impossible to say no to him.

“Me too.”

At that, his eyes light up and his smile grows bigger.

“Sure, let’s do it.”

“We’ll have to walk though,” Robin gestures to the drink Steve already had, “cause you can’t drive and I don’t have a license.”

He shrugs, “we can take Eddie’s van and I’ll get my car tomorrow morning.”

“Uh, no,” Eddie mumbles, scratching the back of his neck, “my uncle took my van cause his car is at the shop, we walked here.”

Steve sighs, “shit.”

“But you could let me drive, I didn’t have anything yet,” Eddie smirks, pointing to the untouched shots.

Steve snorts at him with a deep glare, “uh, yeah, keep dreaming, Munson,” he mumbles as he leans back, reaching for the keys in his pockets, you all watch him curiously. “The only one who’s allowed to drive my car is dolly.”

Robin raises her brows in surprise when Steve chucks his keys at you that you quickly catch, looking down at them with a dumbfounded expression before your eyes light up and you look up, beaming at Steve.

“Okay, let’s go,” you smile, excitedly as you play with the car keys. You scoot back, getting up from the chair. Robin knocks back one shot before she gets up as well. Steve and Eddie glance at the four untouched shots on the table and then, their eyes meet, they both shrug at each other and reach for two shots, each.

Robin pats Steve’s shoulder, chuckling when he knocks one back and then the other, grimacing at the strong taste.

You giggle at Eddie, who looks unfazed by the bitter taste.

“Let’s go, ladies and.. Steve,” he grins.

“Dude.”

“Don’t start this again,” Robin warns, pointing at them both before she rushes over to you, wrapping her arm around your shoulder, she grins, “us ladies, ride in the front, and you two can cuddle in the back,” she winks at them, pulling you away with a giggle.

After an eventful ride to Steve’s house and a few shots of tequila, you all settled in his backyard, each of you occupying one of the many loungers around the pool. Passing around the joint that Eddie had given Steve as a ‘birthday gift’. You are sipping on a drink that Steve has made for you, coke mixed with his dad’s expensive whiskey. You are pretty sure that you will regret the amount of alcohol and weed you are having tonight, when you wake up tomorrow morning. But the floaty and giddy feeling you are experiencing right now, will have to make up for it.

Steve is sitting on the lounger beside you, a can of beer in his hand, his lips wrapped around the joint that is already stained with your lipstick. A spitcurl is hanging in front of his eyes, he doesn’t bother to push it away. He shakes his head at something Robin had said to him, something you didn’t even hear because you were too busy letting your eyes skip back and forth between him and the curly haired metalhead who now left his lounger to be closer to you.

Eddie wraps his hands around your calves, stroking your skin softly with his ringed fingers as he places your feet on his lap. He does it all without breaking his conversation with Robin. Though he feels the goosebumps on your skin, he hears the breath that hitched in your throat when he touched you. He hides his smirk behind his drink as he takes a sip of the cold beer.

Steve clenches his jaw as he looks between you and Eddie. The way he continues to stroke your calf, the way he smirks at your reaction, the way you are blushing, biting your lip as you look down at the hand touching your skin.

He forces himself to look away, turning back to Robin, he offers her the joint.

“Thanks,” she mumbles, giggling when she almost doubles over as she reaches for the joint.

“Already hammered and we haven’t even played a drinking game yet, tsk,” Eddie shakes his head, giving her a playful grin.

With an eye roll, she gets up, placing the joint between her lips as she sits down next to Steve.

“A drinking game, huh? What kind? ‘Never have I ever’? Okay,” She grins at him without giving him a chance to reply. “Never have I ever had a girlfriend,” she smirks, teasing him.

Steve licks his lips, chuckling at Eddie, who nods at her with an annoyed look on his face.

You raise your eyebrows, “why are you teasing him, I never had a girlfriend, either,” you shrug.

“Yeah but you had a boyfriend,” she mumbles, nudging Steve’s shoulder.

Eddie tilts his head at you, looking you up and down with a smirk, “do you want one?”

“A girlfriend?” You ask as you raise the glass to your lips, shrugging, “I don’t know, I never thought about it but kissing girls is fun, so.. I suppose doing anything else with a girl is fun too.”

Eddie’s lips part, his brown eyes widen, darkening as they do so. He swallows as he continues to stare at you. Millions of questions run through his mind. There are things he doesn’t know about you, yet?

Robin and Steve look at you in surprise.

“Wait, w-what?” He mumbles, laughing nervously.

Robin’s lips curl into a smirk, “you kissed a girl before? Who?”

“Yeah, sweetheart, do tell us your dirty little secrets.”

“Hmm, no,” you smirk, batting your eyelashes at him.

“Was that before or after me?” Steve asks, cheeks flushed red as he tries to fight the images out of his mind.

“Before you,” you giggle.

“Shit, I wanna know who it was.”

“Me too, Eddie,” Robin says. “I know that it wasn’t Chrissy, she’d tell me.”

“Huh, was it another girl from the cheer squad?”

You shake your head at Eddie, biting your lip to keep yourself from laughing.

“Were you close?”

You shrug, nodding your head.

Steve squints his eyes, tilting his head at you.

Robin’s jaw drops a little when she figures it out. There is only one girl that you’re close with that wasn’t in the cheer squad – well, besides her.

“Holy shit,” she mouths at you, grinning.

Steve and Eddie glance at each other in confusion.

It’s amusing how obvious the answer is, yet, neither of them are close to figuring it out.

“If you think kissing a girl is fun, you should try eating one out,” Robin mumbles before she takes a drag from the joint, “it’s the best thing ever.” She blows out the smoke, not noticing the confused frown on your face.

“For once, I have to agree with you, Robin,” Eddie chuckles.

Steve freezes, closing his eyes as he looks down.

“Huh?”

Noticing the look on your face, Robin suddenly regrets opening her mouth about that. Your lips are parted, your eyes filled with confusion and curiosity, your brows are pinched together as you stare at her with a questioning look on your face. She straightens her back, muttering a quiet ‘fuck’ under her breath when she looks at Steve’s embarrassed face.

“What’s that?”

Eddie freezes. The smirk falls from his face, he glances at you, at the clueless, lost look on your face. Oh. Steve had never – fuck. How? If you were his, he’d spend day and night on his knees, worshiping you.

“Huh?” This time, it’s him, whose confused.

You look at him with big and curious eyes.

“What is that, I don’t watch porn.”

“Damn, I guess it’s time to,” Robin mutters through gritted teeth.

“Licking someone’s pussy, sweetheart. And well, fucking one with your tongue.”

Your jaw drops, your cheeks heat up and you stare at him in shock. You look cute like this and he could stare at you forever but, in his state of shock, he slowly turns his head towards Steve, eyes filled with concern, confusion and disbelief, “dude, what is wrong with you?”

Steve, whose face is beet red, glares at him.

“I’m very self conscious of not doing a good job, so–”

“You learn!” Eddie throws his hands up.

“What, Munson, are you the pussy expert or something?” He scoffs, rolling his eyes at him.

You look back and forth between them. Taking in the sight of Eddie’s slightly angered face and Steve’s embarrassed one.

“I have eaten my share of pussy, thank you very much.”

The scoff falls from your lips before you can even stop it. Neither of them acknowledge you though, until you open your mouth. “What, like three?” You scoff, again. “You only fucked three girls, that’s what you told me, unless you lied about that.”

Eddie swallows, glancing at you, he fails to notice just how intense the look in your eyes is.

“There’s a difference between sex and foreplay, sweetheart.”

You bite the insides of your cheeks, swallowing the bitterness on your tongue as you look into his eyes. Not once, had you spent a single second wondering if Eddie was seeing someone, if he was fooling around with girls when he wasn’t with you. But now that you think about it, now that you imagine him with other girls, you suddenly feel the bile rising in your throat. The sickening feeling makes you want to drop to your knees and puke out the waffles you had eaten this morning.

“So, when was the last time you did that then, Eddie?” Robin asks, both curious to know and to see your reaction.

He shrugs, “I don’t know, Buckley. I don’t keep count of how many days–”

“Yes, you do! Men always do!”

He doesn’t feel comfortable sharing that in front of you, but he knows that Robin won’t drop it until she gets an answer she’s satisfied with. Besides, you probably won’t even care. Despite Dmitri’s encouraging words, he still refuses to believe that there are any feelings other than the platonic ones that you feel for him. This won’t hurt you, right?

“Fine! Two or three months ago, happy? Now, Harrington, I think I should teach you some basics.”

You feel as though a cold bucket of water has been dropped on you. Your heart leaps to your throat as your stomach drops. Another wave of sickness floods through you. You stare at him, not noticing Steve’s or Robin’s eyes on you.

When was that? Was it the weekend you couldn’t spend time with him? The night you couldn’t come to his gig? Was it before or after he had gotten angry at you for kissing Steve?

It shouldn’t affect you as much as it does, it shouldn’t make you feel this sick, this jealous. You barely figured out your feelings for him. But the longer you stare at him, listen to his words, you can’t help but feel anger rather than jealousy.

You didn’t have feelings for him back then, or at least, you weren’t aware of them. He’s single and free to do whatever he wants but so are you – so were you when you kissed Steve and yet, he was so angry at you when he found out about it. He treated you so coldly, all because he hated the thought of you kissing Steve. Yet, he was out there fooling around with other girls.

“You have never actually eaten pussy before, dude?” Robin mumbles.

Steve rubs the back of his neck, nervously, “I mean, yeah. Just not–” he pauses with a look of shame in his eyes as he briefly glances at you.

You roll your eyes.

You’re not surprised to hear that, you’re not even hurt. After everything that happened between you and him, his sex life with Nancy is the last thing you had ever worried about. You always knew that he treated her better than he ever treated you.

And, that he tried new things with her isn’t anything shocking to you, anyways.

You open your mouth but before you can say something that might ruin the night, you press your lips together again. Sighing, you look down at your drink. You take a deep breath before you raise the glass to your lips, gulping down the rest of it.

You plaster a smile on your face. Ignoring the concerned looks that Robin is giving you. She thankfully changes the topic. Eddie and Steve, surprisingly fall into yet another conversation.

Their distraction allows you to slip away for a moment, you pass by Robin without meeting her eyes and make a quick escape to the bathroom. Locking yourself into the small room for a moment to collect yourself.

Despite the anger you are feeling, you don’t want to ruin the night for Steve.

You splash some cold water and run your fingers through your hair.

With tears in your eyes, you stare at yourself in the mirror.

Whether it’s tears of anger or tears of sadness. You are sick of it. You are sick of yourself. You are sick of crying. You are sick of the pining, of the jealousy, of the sadness.

Steve had given Nancy everything. He tried new things with her while you were grieving your relationship, crying yourself to sleep and thinking about him like a goddamn fool while he was having the time of his life with a different girl.

And Eddie, you try not to think about it, you try not to let the jealousy in. But you can’t push out the anger that you are feeling for him, right now.

Or the anger that you are feeling for yourself.

How you take everything to heart. How you let everything and everyone hurt you.

You are done.

You are so fucking done.

tagging friends & mutuals

@taintedcigs @mysticmunson @littledemondani @wroteclassicaly @corrodedseraphine @corrodedcorpses @succubusmunson @trashmouth-richie @xxhellfirebunnyxx @take-everything-you-can @sherrylyn628 @chrissymjstan @somethingvicked @nemesis729

#steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x you #steve harrington imagine #steve harrington angst #steve harrington fanfic #steve harrington fluff #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson fluff #cherie’s recs

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