shitpoetics

[shitpoetics]

I remember telling him “I adore divine masculinity” and how protective it can be, how safe I feel inside it’s capsule I know what it’s like to have the purest, protective devotion; of love, and if kept unspoiled by possessiveness, stays beautiful lifelong

I am tradition and I am feminine; called dainty and soft, a contrast against his tough hands, rigid and Adonis body, which have seen labour, hard work and strife remembering how he’d come home, dirtied and in sweat but I could've basked in his fumes and he would spoil me with tangibles & tenderness and it felt so natural, to come into his part, as I do mine from this, I learned: I always want my opposite to be strong in his own ways

Before we parted ways, you said, “I hope I’ve set the standard for how a guy should take care of you” and now I’ve known no man who enters the romantic parts of my life without intent to provide & give, and for that I am thankful for what I’ve learned, and knowing what I have to give, and what I admire and require

the discourse on masculinity can sometimes strain my heart, for I adore what it provides; the space of security when in touch with itself from my brothers to my lovers, I’ve known good men good men who nourish and appreciate my feminine, and through it, grow healthily into their own

I know it’s a balance, I know I lean into my masculine when I need to and healthy men have their femininity refined But through this shared dance, I’ve grown ever so appreciative of this ying & yang and for the gentleman care that nourishes me, I’m forever soft in its presence

#spilled ink #healthy masculinity #masculinity #divine masculine #femininity #divine feminine #for the healthy masculinity that I adore #poetry #poems #spilled thoughts #spilled words #spilled writing

[shitpoetics]

nos âmes se familiarisent de temps à autre, quand nous nous sommes retrouvés, je savais qu'il y avait quelque chose à apprendre ton âme ressemblait beaucoup à la mienne, qui grandit lentement en elle-même remplissant les fissures de l'amour des amants du passé

Je suis restée froide pour me protéger, tu m'as gardé à bout de bras pour sauver ton propre coeur et je ne t'en veux pas, mais j'ai grandi, Je n'ai pas peur de montrer de l'amour là où je peux. et comme je tombe lentement dans la vie renouvelée J'espère que tout l'amour que tu gardes trouvera la place qu'il mérite

tu pourrais être mon futur partenaire commercial, j'espère que tu sais que je prie pour toi et peut-être dans une autre vie, nous aurions connu mieux

mais pour toujours tu seras un amant éternel pour moi

#for r #forever ago

[shitpoetics]

is this what it means to be haunted?

to see you in my grasp, time frozen still

you’re there and i can feel you

I could almost kiss you,

but i wake

and again,

you’re lost from reach

And I want to forget you

but you stain a place in my heart,

and on my mind,

forever, you stay

#mourning

[shitpoetics]

a feeling that comes to me

sparsely, sporadically

I dream of you and wonder why

I wonder if this feeling spans the skies

I wonder if you can sense it from where you are

an ache in unison

or am I alone in this?

I came and I went,

no longer at your stride —

but I sense you so close,

and wonder if you’re here with me now;

being kept up by the same longing

I’ll carry with me my whole life

[shitpoetics]

This summer rain, while Neck Deep blasts I’ve died and lived a thousand times like this An echo chamber of days that continue on in a grey-stained haze Then there are warmer days, beach tones, sunsetaholicism Days I crave the sound of lighters flickering, J’s sparking, the laugh she makes that I love her for To savour these moments all the same, but they slip from me and I let them And here I am, wondering: where has this life gone?

#spilled ink #poetry #rejects corner

[shitpoetics]

Yahya Hassan

you came to me late, in the dire frenzy for an in-depthness that seems as good as gone in these realms of modernity But your work strikes gold, bold and large; inspires me to the core in my expressive continuance I swallow all your words cause it feels so close to mine I feel the madness and see you through the petty offenses, religious criticisms, Danish disdains If only your father had been good to you— perhaps, then, you wouldn’t have been Dostoyevsky revitalized and Srunge, back in the flesh, with pain inborn, in you and every bloody verse you forage from your childhood demons If there is an afterlife, I know who will take you in And when you see Dostoyevsky, « tell him I love him »

#yahya hassan

[shitpoetics]

you are who I want, between my sheets, my fingers, at the end of all my days

[shitpoetics]

he said “it’s ego death every time” it’s too hard to take and too hard to feel but I wanted to know perception heightened, vivid colours and all let me see god and the things I’m too scared to see and admit along the way let it wash over me, with all I have to lose, so I know better how precious this life can seem to me

#inquiries on shrooms

[shitpoetics]

the best of descriptions bring me to this word: « whelmed » the world, flooding, with pain, with sounds; injustice pleas and all deafening as the mounds of media has gotten i cannot forget why these sirens go off as they do even as I come to my knees in fatigue and pain for all that this senselessness has caused to answer this call, this need for tenderness at a time crippled with broken bones to only flood this world back with the immensity of the love that holds itself in this shell this, for you: I respect and see you, dripping as you are, in all your black excellence, and this loud strife— let me dote on all this, rather than feel helpless in its clutched grasp this is what the world needs to hear and in this, let me be but a pawn to kill the pain that kills you

#blm

[shitpoetics]

Antalya

No pictures, no worries Just you, me the sea & the sun

#Antalya #ata poems

[shitpoetics]

It’s ok I feel numb I am worth it The people I love love me too And that’s all that matters Let this feeling slip away

#not poetry #just nonsense

[shitpoetics]

I hope to see you someday, as we were when I was 20 with the same intangible longing and faltering when I was 23 but when will I see you next? Miles away, this distance, all the years, start to fade on me But i sense you in common places, here and again think of you on your birthday the everything and nothing that happened in between Do you mind if I fill this time, as writers do, thinking of the impossibilities? All I have left of you is a phantom scar of where you grazed, atop my head in an embrace Until then, un bacio grandissimo

[shitpoetics]

Sad Happy

and you’ll never know as much. oh god, you’ll never know

guilt washes over me and it’s ok.

love washes over me and is equally just as painful.

what do I want? desire leaves me frustrated, drained and bleeding…

#Sad Happy

[shitpoetics]

wondering will you be the one I write about till the end of my days? or will you be another archived period in this mausoleum of feeling?

it would pain me to see what we have go down as a great love lost

but I don’t know where we’ll go

[shitpoetics]

pictures in my head of the desert, of me, lying here in bed it’s the annual return to nothingness and I want to drive far, drive fast but I suffer here, of boredom and boredom is doom I feel no ambition… and then I stop

#22

[shitpoetics]

I can’t talk about my despair and looming hopelessness.

I’ll cage it, as always, letting the turmoil spill inside this fleshy suit.

I need more sleep. I need more music

[shitpoetics]

I still have faith.

But that was the unfortunate sound of my serotonin depleting to a numeric nothingness.

Time to sit back and endure the pain of my stupidity.

Oh, this life. How it turns the knife. Still strong, though. Mostly.

Faith.