shimishimii

[shimishimii]

Yo guys I'm still here but def gotten busy due to thesis stuff

I'm currently at the peak of being an attention seeker. I'm messaging lots of influencers on tiktok as respondents for our thesis and it sure is a hard work. They're not responding idk what to do.

I still work on my wips from time to time and I've been watching a little bit of anime to catch up with some fandoms, I'd still like to stay relevant /sighs

And +++ if anyone of you are theatre kids, you can recommend me some. I'm still in my heathers phase tho, also ride the cyclone got great songs imo

[shimishimii]

Posting schedule update

I'll have to change it to wednesdays and Saturdays because my class sched changed and I have classes on Tuesdays and Fridays :(((

#haru.notes #I'll work on writing when I'm at the library #or study room #i use those spaces to sleep anyway #tbh i get a lot of fanfic ideas from couples i see in our library #they are cute idk why

[shimishimii]

PLEASE I AM HUMBLY BEGGING TO BE ON THE SIX DEGREES OF SEPARATION TAGLIST

Hiiii!!! ofc! and I'm so happy you are reading it i'm smiling a lot rn :>

#asks #from moot<3 #from Onyx<3

[shimishimii]

six degrees of separation

CH 2 | main masterlist | ♡ | prev | ♡ | next |

It takes 20 to 500 years for a plastic to break down, and for Kuroo Tetsurou, it takes a month.

He drags his feet towards the door, unlocking it. He rubs his eyes, yawning, must be already 3 pm, but at least he was able to sleep. at least, even for a few hours.

He drags his hand on his face, feeling his stubble, it’s been a few days since he last shaved. You didn’t mind him with this look. You tell him he looks like those mafia men you see on your instagram reels when he is in his suit, and in pajamas, he looks like that burn out dad who takes care of three kindergarteners and a rebel high school daughter. He smiles sadly at the memory.

He looks at the packages at his doorstep. There were a few parcels and a box. His phone chimes.

Order delivered.

Order delivered.

Order delivered.

There was one without notification, the largest. It is a box with the width of his body and a height just below his knee. It did not have the label of the online shopping platform.

It was not something he wanted.

He sees your name from the label of sender.

Maybe it was something he needed.

With both of his hands, he picks up the box, ever so gently, afraid of breaking precious things, something he was not able to do before. He uses his feet to kick the three parcels inside of his apartment.

Kuroo walks around his living room. The box seems like staring at him intently, still unopened on his coffee table. It was a silent testament to everything he had lost and everything he yearned to regain. He couldn't bring himself to open it, afraid of confronting the memories it held within—memories that would only deepen the ache in his heart.

He wants to run to you, apologize a thousand times, but he could not fix what was broken.

He opens the box after almost an hour.

A hoodie, a board game, sleeping mask, other small items. He didn’t mind if you kept these anyway, most of them belongs to you, at least when you were his. Now, there are no reasons for you to keep these, or keep memories of him.

Among the items in the box, he was worried the most on the stack of polaroid photos. Why would also return him the photos of you together?

Was it to remind him what he lost? Was he really out of your life?

His fingers lingered on the photographs, tracing the contours of your smile, the warmth in your eyes. The first photo, marked on the first month you met, when he lets you lean on his shoulders while he plays that game he immediately bought because the main character reminds him so much of you. And when you are not around, at least he could remember you, even in his hobbies.

Second photo, on the fourth month, it’s simply a photo of you together smiling. He remembers how often his friends would pull you whenever Kuroo would get frustrated. Because the frown on his face would slowly disappear, and a wave of bliss would embrace him whenever he sees you.

Third photo, the seventh month, you are in his arms. That was the first time he saw you cry. He wanted to see you cry, not hide them from him. He would like you to feel safe and vulnerable around him, because he was willing to stay through it all.

Fourth photo, the ninth month, in an expensive dinner date where you laughed with him because of his clip-on tie. Kuroo was too nervous that he felt his necktie choking him. Everything about you just makes him nervous.

He picks up the polaroid. And he remembers how everything about you is pretty and all he ever wanted to see you. When he wakes up, and before he sleeps. Your hair, your clothes, and even the makeup styles you try. He wishes he could see you right now, in those unmatching pajamas, with that soft smile on your lips.

Kuroo was willing to give up anything just to spend his day telling how pretty you are, and how much he still loves you.

It was love, as he believed. This feeling. He was satisfied of how things are. Too satisfied he barely noticed the cracks that started to form.

He knows he was at fault. But he is unsure if getting back together would be healthy for both of you. He loved you, but he feared that blindly embracing that love would only lead to more pain than happiness—for both of you.

He feels standing in a road, in the middle of nowhere, as twilight surrounds him, and he has a few hours before the sun hides. Before he becomes lost in darkness forever.

He doesn’t want to lose you. Too bad, he already did.

Kuroo wishes.

hopes.

silently prays.

pleads.

just one sign—

His phone is ringing. A random pop song plays. Your name appears. He reminds himself to visit a temple later and offer his gratitude.

He wastes no time picking up your call.

[Greetings and salutations.]

Kuroo tries to hold his laugh.

[Meet me at this address I will send in a minute. At 7 pm.]

Kuroo was about to say something. maybe apology, or how he misses you. But he stayed silent. His mouth kept shut, like what he did before. He hates himself why he stayed silent that night.

[Oh. And I called, not texted, because this is urgent.]

“Sure, good—”

You ended the call.

Well, at least that was a start, Kuroo thinks.

It’s just 5 pm. But Kuroo, like an anxiety driven teenage boy getting ready for a first date, hurried to his closet to pick an outfit. He pauses for a moment, worried at his own excitement.

Kuroo arrives ten minutes before the agreed time. Just outside of the building. He was confused if he got the address right. Because that building is a law firm. So now you’re suing him?

His attention shifted when he noticed your familiar silhouette. a little girl is in your arms, and you are smiling at a man who is making the girl laugh, in front of a law firm.

His eyebrows furrowed. A computation runs in his mind. The little girl seemed to be 3 years of age based on her height. Were you married and had a family in just a month? He shakes his head, that’s impossible right? He hasn’t moved on yet and you have a family? And why at the law firm?

You turn around and caught the moment his face was still in a frown. You offer a small smile to acknowledge him.

Kuroo walks towards you, but he felt his feet dragging across the sidewalk. His feet feel like sinking in the cement. He looks down to see if it was under construction, but it looks perfectly fine, maybe he was the one who isn’t.

“We can talk in my office, it’s cold out here.”

Kuroo only nods at the man who spoke, trying his best not to look at your direction. He can’t look at you, even how much badly he wants to.

Once you were all settled into the office, a stern-looking man maybe in his early 30s, began to speak.

"Thank you both for coming on such short notice", he started, shuffling some papers on his desk.

Hmm, so he is a lawyer. Kuroo looks at the nameplate on his table.

"As you might have guessed, we're here to discuss the future of little Rika." the lawyer says before Kuroo could overthink the possibility of you suing him for breaking your heart. And even if you did sue him, he would immediately say he’s guilty.

Kuroo glanced at you, but your face was unreadable. The furrow on his eyebrows deepened. But after seeing Rika, he felt a sense of relief that you don’t have a daughter, or husband, and was not married at all. But Kuroo was still confused at the situation.

You try to ignore Kuroo’s stares. Calling him was already a life-threatening risk you took earlier. Sure, you kind of moved on. But you can only feel you are over it when he is not around.

"The deceased named both of you as the primary guardians in the event of her untimely death. That's why Rika is here." The lawyer gestured towards the child who was currently occupied with a coloring book on a nearby table.

“Deceased? Guardians?” Kuroo asks. “I think I’m missing something” He looks at Rika then you, “a lot actually.”

Without looking at him you reply, “Reiko had an accident this morning.”

“Reiko? you mean our neighbor?” Before Kuroo could even correct the word ‘our’, you nodded.

Reiko was your neighbor but moved out a month ago. Your friendship began after complaining to the landlord who asks payment for rent more than what has been written in the contract. As a single mom, Reiko was struggling to balance her time too. Because of that, you and Kuroo would offer to babysit Rika during afternoons so Reiko could rest.

You were not able to tell her that you and Kuroo broke up. You felt that Reiko was getting busy trying to look for a daycare for Rika. You only told her Kuroo was busy and only you could babysit Rika for the past few weeks.

“The funeral was brief.” you took a deep breath before continuing, “you know she had no family, her late husband was also an orphan, there’s no one—no one else for Rika” the last line was almost a whisper, you tried your best to hide the crack in your voice.

Kuroo felt a pang in his chest.

You have not yet accepted the grief. After your struggles, you felt your emotions getting locked. Your body felt stiff and freezing after hearing the doctors declare her death but could only cry after realizing Reiko was not simply sleeping and was actually gone. Your tears were able to release the pain you felt but you were unable to face the reality of losing someone. Someone you trusted, cared, loved.

“I want to help as much as I can” Kuroo says, hesitancy present in his tone. "…but we're not actually together anymore," Kuroo blurted out, his eyes darting between you and the lawyer.

Kuroo fidgets with his hand, "And I... I’m not sure about raising a child."

The lawyer gave a small nod, "I understand your concerns, Mr. Kuroo. But the deceased had clearly stated in her will that both of you were her first choice. She trusted you two."

"But there must be other options, right? Does she have any relatives? What about adoption?" Kuroo asked, desperation seeping into his voice. It’s not like he doesn’t want to take care of Rika, who is now looking at him with curiosity.

Kuroo has been questioning himself a lot lately. He was not able to take care of you to make you stay. He was lacking in all dimensions not just a boyfriend, but as a person too. How could he even know he can take care of a child?

He can take care of Rika, provide her needs, give her love and attention. But he feels broken himself.

Kuroo is afraid to raise a child when he himself is also just a child who needs to grow up.

"Adoption is indeed an option," the lawyer said, his voice calm and steady, "but it's not the ideal situation. The transition for the child can be quite difficult, and she would have to adjust to a completely new environment. Besides, she knows you two. You're familiar to her. That's a comfort."

Your mind was running different trails of thought. Reiko, who became your best friend, is really gone. You feel your heart clenching for Rika, who lost her mother at a young age. Most importantly, you want to take care of Rika, regardless of being with Kuroo or not.

Kuroo looked at you and Rika then, pleading in his eyes. "We could try, for Rika’s sake," he suggested, almost begged. "We could...we could figure this out. Together?” he sounded so unsure.

You were silent most of the time, only responding to the lawyer through nod and shrugs.

Rika walks towards you, drawing hearts on your palm. As if she was giving her heart in your hand.

"Let's do it," you said, surprising Kuroo. He looked at you, his eyes wide with surprise and disbelief. "We owe it to Reiko,” you hold Rika’s little hands, “and to Rika."

The lawyer nodded, seemingly pleased with your decision. "That's a wise decision. I'll prepare the necessary papers and we'll have to go through a few legal procedures. In the meantime, you two should decide on the living arrangements."

Kuroo nodded, his mind racing with questions and worries. He glanced at you, and you gave him a small smile. It was a smile of reassurance, of understanding. It was a smile that told him, no matter what happened before or what the future holds, you are now in this together. And that gave him the strength he needed.

As you left the office, Kuroo took a look back at Rika who is now in your arms. She was looking at the stars that filled the sky, oblivious to the changes happening around her. He felt a strange sense of responsibility towards her. And he knew, at that moment, that he would do everything he could to make her feel loved and safe.

For the first time since you met tonight, you met his gaze.

And for a moment, just a moment, Kuroo thought he saw a flicker of hope.

As Kuroo and you separated ways, the future remained uncertain. You had agreed to raise Rika together, but where did that leave your relationship?

taglist (open): @notsaelty @sparklyglitterangel @lvrlamp @letthewindlead @lemurzsquad

hello lovely hoomans! I hope your day is as beautiful as you. this chapter reminded me of the people I miss, lost, and the relationships I want to fix. it's sad how love feels stronger and painful when the people you love are no longer there

#icymi ^^

[shimishimii]

six degrees of separation

CH 2 | main masterlist | ♡ | prev | ♡ | next |

It takes 20 to 500 years for a plastic to break down, and for Kuroo Tetsurou, it takes a month.

He drags his feet towards the door, unlocking it. He rubs his eyes, yawning, must be already 3 pm, but at least he was able to sleep. at least, even for a few hours.

He drags his hand on his face, feeling his stubble, it’s been a few days since he last shaved. You didn’t mind him with this look. You tell him he looks like those mafia men you see on your instagram reels when he is in his suit, and in pajamas, he looks like that burn out dad who takes care of three kindergarteners and a rebel high school daughter. He smiles sadly at the memory.

He looks at the packages at his doorstep. There were a few parcels and a box. His phone chimes.

Order delivered.

Order delivered.

Order delivered.

There was one without notification, the largest. It is a box with the width of his body and a height just below his knee. It did not have the label of the online shopping platform.

It was not something he wanted.

He sees your name from the label of sender.

Maybe it was something he needed.

With both of his hands, he picks up the box, ever so gently, afraid of breaking precious things, something he was not able to do before. He uses his feet to kick the three parcels inside of his apartment.

Kuroo walks around his living room. The box seems like staring at him intently, still unopened on his coffee table. It was a silent testament to everything he had lost and everything he yearned to regain. He couldn't bring himself to open it, afraid of confronting the memories it held within—memories that would only deepen the ache in his heart.

He wants to run to you, apologize a thousand times, but he could not fix what was broken.

He opens the box after almost an hour.

A hoodie, a board game, sleeping mask, other small items. He didn’t mind if you kept these anyway, most of them belongs to you, at least when you were his. Now, there are no reasons for you to keep these, or keep memories of him.

Among the items in the box, he was worried the most on the stack of polaroid photos. Why would also return him the photos of you together?

Was it to remind him what he lost? Was he really out of your life?

His fingers lingered on the photographs, tracing the contours of your smile, the warmth in your eyes. The first photo, marked on the first month you met, when he lets you lean on his shoulders while he plays that game he immediately bought because the main character reminds him so much of you. And when you are not around, at least he could remember you, even in his hobbies.

Second photo, on the fourth month, it’s simply a photo of you together smiling. He remembers how often his friends would pull you whenever Kuroo would get frustrated. Because the frown on his face would slowly disappear, and a wave of bliss would embrace him whenever he sees you.

Third photo, the seventh month, you are in his arms. That was the first time he saw you cry. He wanted to see you cry, not hide them from him. He would like you to feel safe and vulnerable around him, because he was willing to stay through it all.

Fourth photo, the ninth month, in an expensive dinner date where you laughed with him because of his clip-on tie. Kuroo was too nervous that he felt his necktie choking him. Everything about you just makes him nervous.

He picks up the polaroid. And he remembers how everything about you is pretty and all he ever wanted to see you. When he wakes up, and before he sleeps. Your hair, your clothes, and even the makeup styles you try. He wishes he could see you right now, in those unmatching pajamas, with that soft smile on your lips.

Kuroo was willing to give up anything just to spend his day telling how pretty you are, and how much he still loves you.

It was love, as he believed. This feeling. He was satisfied of how things are. Too satisfied he barely noticed the cracks that started to form.

He knows he was at fault. But he is unsure if getting back together would be healthy for both of you. He loved you, but he feared that blindly embracing that love would only lead to more pain than happiness—for both of you.

He feels standing in a road, in the middle of nowhere, as twilight surrounds him, and he has a few hours before the sun hides. Before he becomes lost in darkness forever.

He doesn’t want to lose you. Too bad, he already did.

Kuroo wishes.

hopes.

silently prays.

pleads.

just one sign—

His phone is ringing. A random pop song plays. Your name appears. He reminds himself to visit a temple later and offer his gratitude.

He wastes no time picking up your call.

[Greetings and salutations.]

Kuroo tries to hold his laugh.

[Meet me at this address I will send in a minute. At 7 pm.]

Kuroo was about to say something. maybe apology, or how he misses you. But he stayed silent. His mouth kept shut, like what he did before. He hates himself why he stayed silent that night.

[Oh. And I called, not texted, because this is urgent.]

“Sure, good—”

You ended the call.

Well, at least that was a start, Kuroo thinks.

It’s just 5 pm. But Kuroo, like an anxiety driven teenage boy getting ready for a first date, hurried to his closet to pick an outfit. He pauses for a moment, worried at his own excitement.

Kuroo arrives ten minutes before the agreed time. Just outside of the building. He was confused if he got the address right. Because that building is a law firm. So now you’re suing him?

His attention shifted when he noticed your familiar silhouette. a little girl is in your arms, and you are smiling at a man who is making the girl laugh, in front of a law firm.

His eyebrows furrowed. A computation runs in his mind. The little girl seemed to be 3 years of age based on her height. Were you married and had a family in just a month? He shakes his head, that’s impossible right? He hasn’t moved on yet and you have a family? And why at the law firm?

You turn around and caught the moment his face was still in a frown. You offer a small smile to acknowledge him.

Kuroo walks towards you, but he felt his feet dragging across the sidewalk. His feet feel like sinking in the cement. He looks down to see if it was under construction, but it looks perfectly fine, maybe he was the one who isn’t.

“We can talk in my office, it’s cold out here.”

Kuroo only nods at the man who spoke, trying his best not to look at your direction. He can’t look at you, even how much badly he wants to.

Once you were all settled into the office, a stern-looking man maybe in his early 30s, began to speak.

"Thank you both for coming on such short notice", he started, shuffling some papers on his desk.

Hmm, so he is a lawyer. Kuroo looks at the nameplate on his table.

"As you might have guessed, we're here to discuss the future of little Rika." the lawyer says before Kuroo could overthink the possibility of you suing him for breaking your heart. And even if you did sue him, he would immediately say he’s guilty.

Kuroo glanced at you, but your face was unreadable. The furrow on his eyebrows deepened. But after seeing Rika, he felt a sense of relief that you don’t have a daughter, or husband, and was not married at all. But Kuroo was still confused at the situation.

You try to ignore Kuroo’s stares. Calling him was already a life-threatening risk you took earlier. Sure, you kind of moved on. But you can only feel you are over it when he is not around.

"The deceased named both of you as the primary guardians in the event of her untimely death. That's why Rika is here." The lawyer gestured towards the child who was currently occupied with a coloring book on a nearby table.

“Deceased? Guardians?” Kuroo asks. “I think I’m missing something” He looks at Rika then you, “a lot actually.”

Without looking at him you reply, “Reiko had an accident this morning.”

“Reiko? you mean our neighbor?” Before Kuroo could even correct the word ‘our’, you nodded.

Reiko was your neighbor but moved out a month ago. Your friendship began after complaining to the landlord who asks payment for rent more than what has been written in the contract. As a single mom, Reiko was struggling to balance her time too. Because of that, you and Kuroo would offer to babysit Rika during afternoons so Reiko could rest.

You were not able to tell her that you and Kuroo broke up. You felt that Reiko was getting busy trying to look for a daycare for Rika. You only told her Kuroo was busy and only you could babysit Rika for the past few weeks.

“The funeral was brief.” you took a deep breath before continuing, “you know she had no family, her late husband was also an orphan, there’s no one—no one else for Rika” the last line was almost a whisper, you tried your best to hide the crack in your voice.

Kuroo felt a pang in his chest.

You have not yet accepted the grief. After your struggles, you felt your emotions getting locked. Your body felt stiff and freezing after hearing the doctors declare her death but could only cry after realizing Reiko was not simply sleeping and was actually gone. Your tears were able to release the pain you felt but you were unable to face the reality of losing someone. Someone you trusted, cared, loved.

“I want to help as much as I can” Kuroo says, hesitancy present in his tone. "…but we're not actually together anymore," Kuroo blurted out, his eyes darting between you and the lawyer.

Kuroo fidgets with his hand, "And I... I’m not sure about raising a child."

The lawyer gave a small nod, "I understand your concerns, Mr. Kuroo. But the deceased had clearly stated in her will that both of you were her first choice. She trusted you two."

"But there must be other options, right? Does she have any relatives? What about adoption?" Kuroo asked, desperation seeping into his voice. It’s not like he doesn’t want to take care of Rika, who is now looking at him with curiosity.

Kuroo has been questioning himself a lot lately. He was not able to take care of you to make you stay. He was lacking in all dimensions not just a boyfriend, but as a person too. How could he even know he can take care of a child?

He can take care of Rika, provide her needs, give her love and attention. But he feels broken himself.

Kuroo is afraid to raise a child when he himself is also just a child who needs to grow up.

"Adoption is indeed an option," the lawyer said, his voice calm and steady, "but it's not the ideal situation. The transition for the child can be quite difficult, and she would have to adjust to a completely new environment. Besides, she knows you two. You're familiar to her. That's a comfort."

Your mind was running different trails of thought. Reiko, who became your best friend, is really gone. You feel your heart clenching for Rika, who lost her mother at a young age. Most importantly, you want to take care of Rika, regardless of being with Kuroo or not.

Kuroo looked at you and Rika then, pleading in his eyes. "We could try, for Rika’s sake," he suggested, almost begged. "We could...we could figure this out. Together?” he sounded so unsure.

You were silent most of the time, only responding to the lawyer through nod and shrugs.

Rika walks towards you, drawing hearts on your palm. As if she was giving her heart in your hand.

"Let's do it," you said, surprising Kuroo. He looked at you, his eyes wide with surprise and disbelief. "We owe it to Reiko,” you hold Rika’s little hands, “and to Rika."

The lawyer nodded, seemingly pleased with your decision. "That's a wise decision. I'll prepare the necessary papers and we'll have to go through a few legal procedures. In the meantime, you two should decide on the living arrangements."

Kuroo nodded, his mind racing with questions and worries. He glanced at you, and you gave him a small smile. It was a smile of reassurance, of understanding. It was a smile that told him, no matter what happened before or what the future holds, you are now in this together. And that gave him the strength he needed.

As you left the office, Kuroo took a look back at Rika who is now in your arms. She was looking at the stars that filled the sky, oblivious to the changes happening around her. He felt a strange sense of responsibility towards her. And he knew, at that moment, that he would do everything he could to make her feel loved and safe.

For the first time since you met tonight, you met his gaze.

And for a moment, just a moment, Kuroo thought he saw a flicker of hope.

As Kuroo and you separated ways, the future remained uncertain. You had agreed to raise Rika together, but where did that leave your relationship?

taglist (open): @notsaelty @sparklyglitterangel @lvrlamp @letthewindlead @lemurzsquad

hello lovely hoomans! I hope your day is as beautiful as you. this chapter reminded me of the people I miss, lost, and the relationships I want to fix. it's sad how love feels stronger and painful when the people you love are no longer there

#haikyuu #kuroo tetsurou #haikyuu x reader #kuroo x reader #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu x y/n #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu drabbles #haikyuu scenarios #kuroo tetsuro x reader #haikyuu angst #hq x reader #haikyuu x gn!reader #kuroo x y/n #haikyuu!! #kuroo fluff #kuroo angst #keybored

[shimishimii]

Hiii I might update a bit later than original schedule. We'll have a family dinner since my uncle is leaving the country tomorrow and we hope to spend time with him.

this is as regards the fic six degrees of separation, and tbh I am so happy to work on it and share it, especially knowing there are readers, I appreciate u guys a lot 🫶

#sometimes i talk #writing sched updateee #for six degreees of separation

[shimishimii]

six degrees of separation [first part]

Kuroo Tetsurou x gn reader

⎯ [wc: 2.5k] fluff to angst, has proper closure, but it’s part 1 of a mini six-part series, taglist is open, have a lovely day thanks for reading!

⎯ exes to enemies to lovers

| main masterlist | ♡ | next |

“who made your first love experience tragic, and you almost tear up every time you remember it?” your friend asks, you glance at the folded polaroid behind your phone case.

Kuroo Tetsurou did. But you shake his name away from your head, “just someone who likes this ice cream.”

As the summer breeze warms your cheeks and melts your ice cream, you felt you were back to when it started.

Classes were cancelled that day due to the high heat index and walking home under that sun would be brutal. Or maybe you are just making excuses when you see a raven-haired guy, a popular face among sophomores and freshmen. You notice he often stops by at the convenience store near your university. Maybe it sells some amazing snacks, you thought.

You began to like this specific popsicle the convenience store sells. It has cute designs, some based off on cartoon characters. But what you like about it the most was the short message engraved in the popsicle stick.

Days after, next thing you knew, you were always stopping by at the same convenience store, buying the same ice cream, sitting at the same corner, looking at the same guy.

His eyes were hazel from afar, and you wonder if you would see hints of gold and honey if you could just see him closer. His eyes are often narrowed and piercing, reminds you of a cunning feline's gaze that when he catches you sometime staring at him, it’s as if he has every answer for the questions you have yet to ask.

He’s definitely the athletic type. He could reach the tall shelves in the store and would sometimes help out the staff. He holds out the doors for women and elderly, greeting them when they walk in. He tells the little kids which snacks they should pick, helping them compute the total amount before paying. You also tried out his food recommendations and oh boy, he does not fail. He dances to some convenience store songs, sometimes he does it awkwardly, but most of the time he is actually talented.

You like seeing him smile, that soft genuine smile that appears not so often, but you could only look at him for a few seconds, because god you get weak when he smiles like that. You start to observe the things that makes him smile. His friends, eating, some science jokes you overhear, but so far no relationship partner. That was what you remembered. It was a relief.

You prepared a few conversation starters, but only your gaze tracing his silhouette could pass on the words left unsaid.

You bought the same popsicle you always like, hoping the message engraved on it would be different this time. You got the word unlucky marked on the popsicle stick yesterday, and also the other day, and some days before that.

Today may be the day your streak of misfortune ends before you could even see the message on the popsicle stick. Seems like luck is on your side this time because the guy you find cute takes the seat beside you. That’s new, you think. He was always with his friends. On the opposite table, near the counter, that was their spot. Today, he is alone.

Your hand felt sticky. The popsicle was dripping.

He points at your long-gone ice cream. “I really like that flavor” He smiles. “And that design too.”

You smile at him. I know. You always pick them at the bottom most part of the fridge. You compare their sizes even if they look controversially the same.

You look away after a few seconds, processing the features of his face like how he does have specks of gold in his eyes and that he smiled back. That damn smile. The dripping syrup slowly becomes a hazard to your fresh from laundry white pants. It did not catch your attention. But fortunately, it caught Kuroo’s.

“Excuse me, but your ice cream's got a mind of its own, it seems,” he says. “and you would not want that on white pants.”

“oh no,” Too late. You panic scooping out the falling liquid, still, a few drops painted your pants. “but I just washed this” you say, frowning.

He chuckles lightly, offering a tissue, “here, use this, ice cream stains can be hard to remove,” he hands you the tissue. “I just know”

I know that too. You once bought an ice cream sandwich, bit and kept it at your mouth as you played some games, and forgot you were eating an ice cream. Your white shirt was a disaster after.

“thanks” you took the tissue, cleaning your hand. You tried to remove the stain on your pants after. “that probably looked embarrassing” you kept scrubbing, smiling apologetically.

Kuroo places his hand at the back of his head. “Not really, it happened to me once or twice too”, he looks away, muttering softly, “…and you still look pretty.”

some imaginary audience cheers at the back of his mind, and other side of audience were gripping tightly, unsure if the smile on your face meant ‘that was cringe’ or ‘thanks’

He can’t believe he brags about his natural way with people but took weeks before having the courage to start a conversation with you. His friends would definitely ask him why. He was simply glad you like that ice cream flavor too and he has spare tissues.

you may have traded off a piece of your health from consuming ice cream every day before this conversation happened, but you still thank your past self for that sacrifice.

You remember the first time you met whenever you look back at those two popsicles sticks with engraved messages framed on your wall.

“you know, we could have known each other from jogging in the morning or at a gym” Kuroo looks at you with a raised brow, “but no, we both just have to be unhealthy.”

Kuroo replies with a soft smile, “we had an unhealthy first meet that’s because I was meant to take care of you”.

It started good. Because the feelings that bloomed in your heart may be the same to what Kuroo feels. The evidence of love and affection was written all over the year of your relationship. In each polaroid photo displayed across the wall of your room, you know cupid did his job well.

The first photo, marked on the first month you met, when Kuroo lets you lean on his shoulders while he plays whatever game he just discovered.

Second photo, on the fourth month, there was barely any context, it’s simply a photo of you together smiling. Because when Kuroo smiles, that smile you always love, you know that meant he was happy to see you, how he feels light and at ease with you.

Third photo, the seventh month, you are in Kuroo’s arms, his embrace gave warmth on that day he first saw you cry.

Fourth photo, the ninth month, in an expensive dinner date where you laughed with him because of his clip-on tie. Kuroo was too nervous that he felt his necktie choking him, and changed it minutes before you go out. That clip-on tie had pink paw prints design.

You hold the polaroid. In that photo, you both have wine glasses on your hand with him kissing your cheek. And you remember how he casually thinks of compliments that would make you blush, your hair, your clothes, and even noticing the new lip gloss you tried.

It was love, as you believed. This feeling. Because what else could it be? It was a conclusion you made up without prior knowledge to what love actually is.

You trusted the love Kuroo gave, never asked anything more than it, never questioned it.

Even if everything started to feel like it was not really romantic love. That it was just a thoughtful smile, a concerned hug, his natural way of words, and the love that was from just a friend who happened to like you a lot.

Yes, he was friendly, caring, charming, and thoughtful. You have no right to list a job description for a boyfriend, shouldn't you?

And they say great couples are simply best friends in love.

Looking back at most memories, it felt like you were really just a best friend, who happened to have the privilege of kissing him.

Someone he likes to be with, not someone he falls in love with.

It never was supposed to be a big deal. But people would often mistake you as ‘just another friend’. He was the same with everyone and you don’t want to dictate him to change.

But if he treats everyone the same, then it means what he does for you was not actually that special. It's just his natural way of being towards everyone. You started to think, maybe you were not a priority, just another friend amongst many.

You stay awake past midnight, with your thoughts loud, when you sink into the realization that there might not be really anything special at all. Because everything he did for you, warm hugs, compliments, leaning on his shoulders, those were just the perks of being Kuroo’s friend.

So, who are you in his life?

You know you are more than his friend.

Until less people stopped believing you were lovers, and maybe you stopped believing as well.

“So you’re close with him?” someone asks even if it was obvious you are Kuroo’s special someone. Maybe it did not look like that. Kuroo simply agrees that you two are close. Same likes, agrees with almost anything, vibes a lot. Typical best friend qualities. Of course you wanted to feel it was more than that.

“That’s Kuroo’s special friend” and that might be the worst introduction you have ever received. The word special, losing the meaning it once held.

At least you were someone to him, that still meant something right?

Sure, it was your own demons. How you started to feel like crouching when he stands beside you. His tall figure shining in daylight as you walk down the street during your dates, but as hours pass by and the sun changes position, you notice you have become just a shadow.

Worse, you started to feel like you were not enough when you're with him.

You appreciate who Kuroo is.

Dating him was a gamble against your own insecurities. You know what you were getting into, you know the hole you might fall into. But you haven't learned yet how to get up. As each monthsary gets celebrated, you were falling further and deeper into the abyss of your inferiority. And Kuroo did not even notice you were no longer beside him during parties, or at some special events. He forgot what ice cream flavor you like. He no longer corrects people mistaking you as just his friend.

On your first anniversary, the wine on your glass was gone a few minutes ago, you needed the courage.

Kuroo reaches out for your hand, you held it for a second, squeezing it slightly, and slowly letting it go. He clicks his tongue, noticing your avoidance for weeks. You used to hold hands everywhere you went, but now you avoid touching altogether.

“Can you at least look at me?” he asks.

You shift your gaze from his hands to his face.

"Why won't you look at me?" his voice was firm, almost disappointed.

"Because every time I do, I see what we've become."

It was his turn to look away.

"Do you remember when we first met?" you ask.

"I try not to."

You don’t know what he meant by that.

The silence between you grows louder with each passing day, until it's suffocating. Kuroo is not wearing a clip-on tie, you noticed. He tugs his necktie, adjusting it every now and then.

You try to salvage what's left of your relationship, maybe this anniversary date should do it. But it's like trying to hold onto sand slipping through your fingers.

You pour another batch of wine on your glass before speaking, "You know how you always used to say, 'The grass is greener where you water.' Remember?"

"Yeah, I still stand by that. It's about perspective."

"Perspective? How about the perspective of feeling invisible in a relationship?” Kuroo does not like where you’re going, where this is going. “Do you—do you even still see me?"

"Of course not” He tries to hold your hand again and you hold onto him. “of course I see you.”

Kuroo speaks again. “But sometimes, what you think doesn't really matter.”

You scoff.

“But those are my feelings” your voice is getting higher, you adjusted your seat, you feel like sinking in the chair. "So my feelings don't matter to you?"

"No, that's not what I meant.” he sighs before continuing, “I just think you're overthinking these things."

"Overthinking? Maybe I'm just realizing I deserve better. Maybe, just maybe, I deserve to be seen and valued." you try to catch your breath. It sounded almost like a plea.

His lips stay pressed on a thin line. He was no longer holding your hand. You were looking at his direction. He is looking down, holding his fork, tapping his plate.

You know staying in this relationship could mean getting invisible day by day. Not until he could no longer see you, worse, until you could no longer see yourself.

Sucks to end it that way, you could almost laugh bitterly at this situation, cliche even.

He looks at you, for the last time that he could, then mumbles. "I never wanted it to come to this."

You slowly look away, your eyes betraying a mixture of hurt and determination. "Let’s just leave this memory as a good one” you hold his hand, for the last time that you could, “I don’t want to end things ugly and start hating you.”

Because you know you never could. You wanted things to end while he was still someone you love.

Kuroo was not looking at you anymore. He felt a shiver, realizing the absence of warmth from your hand.

“Isn’t it enough that I see and value you?”

“Do you really see me? Or am I just another name on your close friends list?”

He sighs again, longer than the previous, as if he was afraid of speaking more, "Well, if that's how you feel, I’m sorry"

"Is that all you have to say?"

“You know, I—” Kuroo can’t understand why he can’t say those words. It takes three words for him to fix this. He stayed silent. And it took just a fraction of his silence for you to realize there was no use to trying to fix this.

taglist (open):

#haikyuu #kuroo tetsurou #haikyuu x reader #kuroo x reader #kuroo tetsuro x reader #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu scenarios #haikyuu series #haikyuu x gn!reader #kuroo tetsurō #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu angst #haikyuu x y/n #kuroo x y/n #haikyuu x gender neutral reader #keybored #kuroo fluff #kuroo angst #hope you enjoy reading!!! #have a lovely day lovely hooman

[shimishimii]

six degrees of separation

Kuroo Tetsurou x gn reader | six-part mini series | (TAGLIST OPEN)

⎯ exes to enemies to lovers? | fluff, angst

⎯ no major warnings, just parenting stuff but it's not your baby, side character death, minimal miscommunication but not too much, because I also get frustrated with that

𓆩♡𓆪 synopsis┆When a mutual friend tragically dies in an accident. You and Kuroo Tetsurou were forced back into each other's lives, to take care of the baby your friend has left. Unaware that you broke up months ago, you're both faced with the challenge of becoming foster parents as ex-lovers.

MAIN MASTERLIST

[first], you think the worst is a broken heart

what's gonna kill you is the [second] part

[third], is when your world splits down the middle

[fourth], you're gonna think that you fixed yourself

[fifth], you see them out with someone else

[sixth], is when you admit that you may have fucked up a little

taglist:

#haikyuu #kuroo tetsurou #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x gn reader #haikyuu x you #kuroo x reader #kuroo tetsuro x reader #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu angst #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu scenarios #kuroo fluff #kuroo angst #kuroo tetsuro imagine #keybored #reblogs likes and comments are appreciated!!!

[shimishimii]

143 BCE ; history class and sleeping

⟿ wc; 900+

⟿ Zhongli x gn reader ; fluff, who doesn’t sleep in history class? send advice asap. tysm for reading !!

“I can’t understand anything”

You sigh and another immediately follows from the person beside you. Definitely a sigh more disappointed than yours. And your supposed attention for the professor shifted to your seatmate.

“If you listen maybe you would” Zhongli mumbled, a matter of fact without putting his book down. You open your mouth to protest but end up grumbling ‘cause he’s right, always. It’s hard to disagree and even harder to blame that his new eyeglasses look more interesting than today’s lecture. He never mentioned his eyesight was deteriorating.

Still you insist, “I definitely am”.

And Zhongli raises an eyebrow.

“I was?” , he’s not buying it.

“It’s better you start paying attention, finals are coming” he tries to fix his glasses, a little loose on his nose.

You help him adjust his glasses, “yeah and being a little less perfect won’t hurt.”

Keep reading

#icymi ^^

[shimishimii]

Filled ; zhongli x gn reader, smut, very short for self indulgence lmao

Zhongli releasing his stress from a thousand years. And that’s a lot to fill you up.

He moves slow and steady, just enough to make you feel all his length and load pumping inside. But he’s not done, no not yet. He wants more, to do you more. The archon’s been in solitude for centuries, caved alone to tend on his own needs. Yet his warmth will no longer be his alone. Tangled bodies with yours, he fucks till his own sweat runs through you, till your voice muffles the past silence of his loneliness.

You feel the length of his cock, thick girth stretching you just right to let out a symphony of moans with him. Zhongli grunts, grasping the sheets underneath as you clench around him, milking for all his worth.

Why’d he have to wait so long for this? for you?

Time has taken way too long and he wasn’t about to waste any second of it. He pushes in and out, fucking you so good even how many rounds have passed. Fourth? Fifth? You can’t even count the amount of climax you reached and Zhongli doesn’t seem to get tired anytime soon. Still hard and stamina boosted just by seeing you squirm under his touch, he’ll never get tired of it.

“Fuck!” You cry out, mumbling his name, “so good, s’ good..” your words become a mess as you feel yourself coming soon. His hands pinning your wrists, thrusting deeper to your spot that has you seeing white, a drift of his image past your half lidded eyes.

“That’s it,” He pulls out, gaze flickering through your dripping hole, “always taking me so well” his fingers pushes up his cum back to you.

“such a waste if not inside don’t you think?” You hum in agreement as he licks what’s left in his fingers, and you’re so good , so obedient to take everything of him.

“Again” he whispers, leaning down to press a kiss on your damned state. “You can do it, can you?” You weakly nod, stretching yourself, all willing and pleased to serve him.

reblogs and likes are very appreciated tysm ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ stay hydrated lovely human<3

P.S idk why I wrote this help

#icymi ^^

[shimishimii]

Missing hours ; Diluc’s soft hours open

⟿ wc; 1k

⟿ fluff, Diluc x gn reader, just Diluc missing you

It’s unusual.

11:30 pm and even the fireflies are bothered. Diluc paces back and forth, no path in his mind. Blending in the dark, he stands and waits. Luckily, no one passes by or he’d be reported to the authorities by now.

Well, your house is in front of him and yet his courage to knock left his knuckles. He should have called you by now if not of his worry settling uncomfortably in his mind. Diluc, as much of an individualist he is, cannot ignore he will be sleeping alone.

He used to drift in solitude but is frustratingly bothered occupying the bed by himself tonight.

So he takes his phone out, your number flashes at the top, marked as the most important contact. And he sighs for a moment then dials. Diluc heard the ringing for a few more seconds and was tempted to end the call.

“Diluc?” great, Diluc thinks, which good boyfriend would wake their partner in the middle of the night? But this is a matter of him receiving either nightmares or waking up with you in his arms, so he takes the chances.

There’s silence for a while so you speak again, “something matters?”

Diluc places his other hand inside his pocket, “I...” he pauses, “can we talk?”

“We’re already talking”

Your eyebrow is raised by now, though he can’t see, he knows. And Diluc thinks you’re still mad, so he says in a soft tone, testing the waters..

“Love..”

And you were quick to cut him off, “not falling for that”

Diluc bites his lips, well at least he tried.

You get up, turn on the lamp and Diluc has taken notice of your silhouette painted on the windows. He lifts his finger, tracing them unconsciously, as if wanting to hold you.

Your boyfriend has gone silent for a long while, “Diluc? Did you just hung up?” you ask.

“What? me?” he clears his throat and in full defense he declares, “I would never.”

“So..”

“So..” Diluc mimics, unsure of the next words.

“What’s with the late night call?” you ask.

“Missing you already”

Good thing Diluc can’t see your flustered state right now or else he’d make sure to use more of his charm, you composed yourself, “good for you”.

And he wonders if you miss him too.

“I was wondering if we can talk here?” he finally asks.

“Here? there?” you shake your head though he can’t see, “I can’t go to your place, it’s late,” you reply, glancing at the wall clock.

“Actually, I’m at your place”

You peek at your window and damn right there is your boyfriend who should have just knocked hours ago instead of letting himself shiver in cold.

He waves his hand a little upon seeing you. And he smiles, softly, pulling his hood down as he views you from a distance.

Shall darkness dare to cross his mind, it never will. For that right now, looking at you, he believes, stars could be on earth.

You wave back and are also quick to retrieve your hand. You weren’t on good terms with Diluc today and have no plan to give in swiftly. Why you’re back on your place instead of staying usually in his, Diluc has yet to explain.

Yet, betraying your own mind, you still went down. Turning the door open, you faced your boyfriend, hands in his pockets and already leaning by the doorway.

“You asked me to leave you alone” you cross your arms, Diluc feels the night has gone colder, “so I did.”

“Sorry” he mumbles, he sucks at apologizing, he knows, “it’s my fault, I’m really sorry.”

But he repeats the words, taking away his pride, “I’m really sorry,” he utters and the words peel all that masks his vulnerabilities.

“I have forgiven you hours ago,” you admit. Diluc takes a step closer, still cautious.

And he takes your hand, caressing your knuckles, “come home” he mumbles, a tad bit shy.

He looks down at the floor, staring at his shoes then your feet. It’s bare and Diluc likes to put on matching socks with you before sleeping.

Usually, he tucks you in the comfiest blanket keeping his body close to yours as he leaves the rest of his feet uncovered by the blanket. He feels comfier that way, he says.

“I would but I hope you do realize your problems are not yours alone,” you remind him. Diluc nodded and finally turned his gaze to you apologetically.

There are times Diluc shuts others out, believing he could work out his problems just fine. ‘Cause when other people try to help, it’s either he doesn’t like the resolution or he ends up with more problems. In hours of stress, he tends to be focused on addressing the issues and neglect anything illogical or nonsense, at least to him.

And earlier, he was certain he did snap and lock himself inside the room, staying for a damn long time ‘till he solves his troubles. You simply wanted to offer assistance to him which was unfortunately neglected, even hearing him asking you to stay out.

But you do understand, it’s Diluc and sometimes he prefers time of his own. Diluc is surely grateful for that but doesn’t want to let you feel you’re not needed.

Though he seems fine alone, his day doesn’t get better without you casually sitting beside him as he gets his work done. Those days you make him his favorite grape juice accompanied with sweets and the little notes that come along. Or those long hours of you and him talking about anything, how fine is the weather, what could be for dinner or why is the brain a complex organ.

Things surely are better when you’re there and worse when you’re not.

“I’m here okay?” You assure. And when you take his hands, he feels warmer, “you have me, remember?”

Diluc smiles, leans and presses a kiss on your lips.

Still smiling, he asks, “it’s late, can I sleep in your place tonight?”

Whether he has you or you have him, it’s always a loop. But he knows, all that for sure, he’s not alone and he’ll give extra cuddles tonight.

tysm for reading! hope you have enough sleep lovely human, and reblogs are always appreciated<3

#icymi ^^

[shimishimii]

I started writing a new fic, it's supposed to be fun, light, fluffy, you know, typical marshmallows and teddy bears romance.

But idk why it ended up...full of unstable feelings.

Maybe I have to accept that my brand as a writer is sharing that inner turmoil in each monologue, which I don't know if it's a good thing

#haru.notes #also I want to play genshin again #but I don't have the time #i want to watch and read jjk too #but I'm afraid how it will consume me #sometimes i talk

[shimishimii]

summary: realizing you've fallen for someone is hard. even more so when that person is miya atsumu.

part of how to be your lover boy (a valentine's collab brought to you by augustinewrites and seiwas!) (a month and a half late but here nonetheless!) ps @seiwas ur my one true valentine

you’d been planning to leave your boss’ party at a sensible 9pm. 

but one drink had turned into two, two had turned into three, then four. you’re just about to down a shot with osamu when his brother appears, resting an arm around his shoulders. 

atsumu is known first as osamu’s twin, and onigiri-miya’s biggest supporter second (third is a major league volleyball player, but you have to keep him humble). he orders a lot of food a lot of the time, always tipping spectacularly. during his team’s off season, he’s there from opening till closing, doing his best to bus tables and take orders. 

he’s been off for a few days, so you’d been seeing a lot of him lately. not that you really minded because, well–

atsumu is hot. 

you’ve known this for a while but refused to linger on the fact. you’ve done your best to lock it within the furthest recesses of your mind and throw away the key because he’s your boss’ brother. mixing business with pleasure has never been a smart move. 

the blond holds up his own drink and flashes you a charming grin, eyes darting up and down your figure appreciatively. you can see the gears turning in his head as he tries to find the perfect thing to say. 

“what are we toasting to?” you ask, clearing your throat to mask the sudden bout of insecurity you’re feeling.

“to good fortune, good health–”

“and good company,” atsumu adds, winking before the three of you tip your glasses back, liquor sliding down your throat. 

five drinks just turned into an incredibly questionable decision. the dyed blonde, volleyball playing type.

you hadn’t meant for it to happen, you swear. you hadn't meant to let him tug you into his brother’s (your boss’) bedroom and you hadn’t meant to kiss him. 

but it'd all happened so swift, so laughably cinematic. pressing up against a closed door as he fumbled for the handle. you’d shared messy, rushed kisses as hands slipped underneath clothes, but atsumu’s lips were warm and you liked how they moved against your own. 

“wait, wait–” you mumbled, pulling away for a second to look at him. “are we really going to–” you gesture between you.

atsumu gently nipped at your throat, humming. “why shouldn’t we?”

you shouldn’t because he’s your boss’ brother and your seasonal coworker. while not outright banned in onigiri miya’s code of conduct, workplace relationships certainly weren't wise. 

“i'm just saying,” he murmurs, the thumb brushing the top of your thigh making you squirm. “if you want to, i'm game. we don't have to make a big deal out of it.”

your nose scrunches at what he’s implying. rational, sober you who hadn't just been kissed dizzy wouldn't even consider this type of illicit exchange. whatever version you were tonight though…

“wouldn’t it be weird? after, i mean.” 

“not unless we make it weird,” he says, glancing up at you through unfairly long lashes. “and…”

surprise melts into curiosity as you wait to hear what he has to say, but he trails off. he quickly tries to dismiss it with a shake of his head before moving in to kiss you again.

but you lean back and fix him with an expectant look. “no. what were you going say?” 

his cheeks flush before he lets his head drop against your shoulder, mumbling something that sounds like you’re really hot under his breath. 

_____

in theory, no-strings sex is supposed to be simple, mechanical fun. 

and at first, no-strings sex with atsumu is. 

he’s good in bed, unsurprisingly. he puts his money where his annoyingly talented mouth is and leaves you trembling atop your bed sheets every time. he’s eager to learn you, making each encounter a little better than the last.

outside of sex, you don’t really see much of him. pro athletes rarely get any down time. when he’s not at practice he’s at the gym and vice versa. when he’s not at either, he’s out of town for a game. 

but still somehow, your relationship evolves (slowly at first, then suddenly at once as things often do).

you’d spent a lot of time together leading up to new year’s. grabbing a snack across the street during lunch breaks. christmas shopping together on the weekends. coffee dates on lazy, snowy evenings. you still go home with him, but it’s no longer accompanied by the blur of alcohol or the burn of desire. 

it’s different now. you still want him, but not just because he’s got wicked abs. 

you want him because he always remembers your coffee order. 

you’re treading a dangerous path. no-strings sex only works if there’s no connection other than physical. 

(which is why no-strings sex with atsumu changes on new year’s eve.)

tonight is different. he’s different. 

tonight, atsumu kisses your shoulder. your jaw. the tip of your nose. soft words of praise are whispered against your skin instead rather than grunts of pleasure in your ear.

you love the feel of his hands on your waist. his face beneath your fingertips. it’s a lot. it’s so much. it’s–

“i love you,” he groans, curling his fingers into the hair on the back of your head as he noses at your neck.

______

the lunch rush at onigiri miya has just started to slow down, so  and osamu are in the back office. you’re both hunched over a laptop updating the inventory when atsumu appears in the doorway. he slings a hand towel over his shoulder, casting a brief, hopeful look in your direction.

you stare hard at the screen as osamu glances between you both. 

“dishes are mostly done,” the blond says. “i'm gonna head home.”

(another hopeful look.)

“yeah,” osamu nods, catching the apron that’s tossed over to him. “feel free to grab something on your way out.” 

it’s then that you finally steal a quick glance at him, just in time to see his kicked-puppy look. it’s almost enough to waver your resolve, tugging in your heartstrings just enough before you turn away.

“trouble in paradise?” your boss asks once his brother is gone. 

“he’s the trouble.” you sigh. “obviously i’m the paradise.”

“i’ll say. something happen between you two?” 

you close the laptop, casting him a warning glance. “don’t you have onigiri to make?”

“yeah,” he shrugs. “but the scrub’s been moping around for weeks. not to mention he’s been playing ‘i wanna know what love is’ every time i get in a car with him.”

“sounds like a quarter-life crisis.”

osamu hums thoughtfully. “could be. or maybe it has something to do with the fact that you’ve been sleeping together and pretending everyone doesn’t already know you’re in love too.”

leave it to your boss to drop truth bombs in the middle of the work week.

“so what if he said he loved me?” you ask, throwing your hands up. “it wasn't– it wasn't like i love you i love you. it was…middle of sex i love you. he didn't mean it.”

osamu stared at you, as if trying to figure out if you were serious. “do you think he chooses to come here in his down time and work for free washing dishes? he comes here for you. the idiot obviously loves you. you’re really gonna sit here and tell me you don't love him too?”

you supposed…you supposed this wasn't your typical friends with benefits arrangements. late nights weren't just spent tangled up in each others bedsheets. they were spent drinking tea on the balcony of your apartment. they were spent giggling and cuddling on the couch, not really watching sitcom reruns all night long. 

you supposed that somewhere along the line, the scale between love and friendship had tipped out of balance. 

maybe…maybe that didn’t have to be a bad thing.

dividers by @/enchanthings! please check out their adorable work!

#haikyuu fic recs #anyone who washes dishes for me #can put a ring on my finger #fair trade

[shimishimii]

Drunk ; Diluc says he isn’t

⟿ wc; 1.3k

⟿ Diluc x gn reader, alcohol consumption

He huffs, downing on the glass, feeling the pang of liquid straight through his throat. Diluc can’t stand it, the bittersweet aftermath on his tongue, the sharp aroma nor the hue of the liquid on his glass. Yet he pours again, taking one after another.

“He’s been at it for hours.” Kaeya sighs, attending to the customers in place of his brother and he unfortunately has no choice.

Jean crosses her arms, “And whose fault is that?” Kaeya could only lower his head.

He never thought his brother would actually have a go at it. Just one glass, he suggests. To which he never thinks would lead to two, three, and even more. And that he’ll get to see the sight of Diluc, a mumbling mess in front of several bottles right at his very own tavern.

Diluc is repulsed by alcohol, repelled by the mere thought of trying it again. Yet on a cloudless night, he could barely look out at the alignment of the stars. His eyes are heavy and oftentimes shutting. All due to the fact he’s drinking, surprisingly, finishing bottles he could barely tolerate.

“Come on, hand it over.” Kaeya attempts to take the bottle yet Diluc grabs it in an instant in his arms, securing it in his chest. “Stop drinking already” The red haired gentleman sends him a glare.

“I believe you had enough---”

“Ssshh!” Diluc silences Jean, index finger on his lips, “You’re too noisy.” She stares at him in disbelief.

“Diluc---”

Jean gets interrupted once again. “I said no noisy” Diluc raises his hand, stopping the blonde from what she’s about to say. “No noisy allowed.”

As Diluc rambles mindlessly, Jean shakes her head, “At this point, I prefer handling Klee.”

Kaeya could only agree, Diluc is surely a mess right now.

Diluc stares at the liquor, questioning his actions. Alcohol couldn’t do wonders on his gloom, he knows it. It’s pointless, drowning himself with the temporary distraction from the stressors crippling through his usual aloof self.

Other than the distillation or additives on the alcohol, Diluc has a broad understanding of the effects of drinking. It wasn’t a hidden knowledge, being the owner of Dawn Winery, he knows better than anyone, even his employees.

Yet as he takes another gulp, he seems to start to forget everything, and he wants to.

Streams of clear thoughts were washed away, effectively strayed far. And as much as Diluc wants to stop, the sting of his feelings craves for more.

He doesn’t like the taste, only succumbing to what it does to his body, to his mind, to him.

“Maybe we should..” Kaeya whispers to Jean, wiping off the tables. She can’t believe she actually does this and looks after a well grown adult.

“Call them?”

“I don’t think he’s stopping anytime soon”

“Yeah,” Jean nods and before Kaeya takes his leave, she turns to him. “And tell them how close we are to dragging this man’s ass out.”

“Hey” he slumps on the table, wondering if it’s another person to reprimand him. “Diluc?” you call him once again. And he realizes it isn’t Kaeya who would tease him for his situation nor Jean about to nag. The two had left a minute ago anyway and the tavern had already stopped its business hours.

“Diluc?” The melody’s yours, calling out his name. And he thinks his auditory’s fooling him.

“Diluc, you don’t drink.” You point out.

And he fixes his seat, attempting to straighten his posture, “I’m not Diluc.”

“Are you serious?”

“I’m not serious.” He swats you away. “Stop giving me names.” and you want to pinch his flushed cheeks, those that unintentionally emphasizes his hair.

Drunk and gorgeous, he is.

“Is that so?” You raise your eyebrows and he ignores you. “Cause I’m looking for someone named Diluc…” pausing, you feign to look around.

“He’s busy.” He replies, taking another shot and you know he can’t possibly last if he keeps going.

“Yeah, he always is.”

At most days, if it wasn’t business he would always have specific matters to attend to. And on cold nights, you usually sleep without the warmth from the side of his bed.

“Why are you here?”

“I heard Diluc is being a pain in the ass to his friends.”

“Do you hate him?

“Hate is such a negative word” you reply. “Just disappointed”

“I am disappointed in him too” Diluc mumbles, more to himself than you.

“You sure he isn't here?” he shakes his head.

And you take the seat beside him, “I just want to give him something.”

“What can it be?”

“A kiss.” he puts down his glass, stiffening for a second.

“A kiss?” he repeats. But why?

“Mhm” You took the drink from his hand, drinking, fully emptying the container. “A kiss.” You declare.

Diluc doesn’t reply, nor move. And you wonder if he’s ok.

He is absolutely not.

His thoughts were clouded but surely he wasn’t stupid, might just be playing as one. Are you really giving him a kiss? After months of separation?

Did you really come back to him? Or will you?

“You don’t love him anymore”, pout forms on his lips.

“I only asked for space” You reply and your decision was to value yourself more and to know if he’s fine spending his days without you.

Diluc knows the gap was brought by him. You asked for space yet he left you in vast emptiness. He thought you were tired of him, has realized how he was flawed and his affections no longer burns the same in your heart.

“That means you no longer love him right?” his fingers fidgets.

“I only want time to think for myself” you admitted, “But he stopped talking to me after, not even sparing me a glance.”

You tried to talk to him again after a month yet he always makes up excuses of having jobs to attend to. Waking up and leaving, same old his routines except there wasn’t you anymore. He’s busy, he pretended to. Yet he was just distracting himself, Kaeya would argue.

Diluc turns to face you, this is in fact the first time he gets to stare at your eyes again. How they flicker, spark and burn his heart in a desirable warmth.

He isn’t a person capable of analyzing his feelings well, when people leave, they don’t usually come back. And when you asked him that you wanted to be alone, he thought you were leaving for good. He couldn’t accept that you were asking for space, thinking you were getting tired of him. Dismayed to himself, Diluc knows how little time he gives you.

Now, he realizes he doesn’t want to spend more seconds without you.

Since the glass was in your hands, he takes the bottle instead. Drinking to his heart’s wish.

You let out a sigh, “You’re drunk”, taking the bottle from him.

He flinches from the contact of your skin. “M’ not”

“Ok you’re not, so you can handle yourself right?” He peeks at you through his glossy eyes, “I’m leaving.”

He then grabs your wrist, you’re leaving, again and he feels crumbling down.

“Are you still looking for Diluc?” You look back at him in confusion.

“You want to give him a kiss right?” he stands, fumbling.

Your lips lift, beaming as he shies away “If he wants to”

“I want to”

And you smile, cupping his cheeks before you press your lips in his. Remnants of alcohol staining yours, he keeps his lips locked, deepening the kiss. And he knows your touch was drowning him more than the liquor itself.

Diluc chuckles, too giddy and you pull away, “You’re definitely drunk.”

“Nope, ‘m not.”

And he smiles broadly, he’s not just drunk, his feelings were more than that, intoxicated maybe.

reblogs are very appreciated tysm ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ take care of yourself lovely human

#icymi ^^

[shimishimii]

Watching Kung Fu Panda 4, I might have a crush on Tai Lung. I mean, why won't I? He's just misunderstood :((((

Also them bowing at the end? Mad respect for Po and also their humility

#haru.notes #i love all kung fu panda villains #they are well written and this 4th movie #is chef's kiss #i wish they have a spin off for the villains #sometimes i talk

[shimishimii]

🍉Data sources under the cut🍉

[shimishimii]

Happy Birthday ; social anxiety but with happy ending

⟿ wc; 1k

⟿ Tsukishima x gn reader ; fluff , supposed to be for his bday, anw it’s better late than never 

Tsukishima knows many hate him.

As if they are being discreet about it. The sharp gazes, hushed whispers, and being left out during group activities. 

He doesn’t care. Well, that’s what he thinks. He’s fond of being alone, away from silly small talks that take up a portion of his precious time. He’s never good at communication to begin with. His attitude is kinda shitty, something he’s much aware of. And to be someone who lacks the ability to socialize and express kindness oftentimes, he’ll surely end up taking lunch by himself.

He’s fine.

Or sometimes not.

Not when he sees a group of friends laughing about little things, silly small talks he hopes he could be part of. Spend the night with friends rambling about an awful movie. Or sleepovers where his insomnia could take advantage of, he even has a dino onesie prepared for such an occasion but no one has gone to invite him.

So he gets home earlier than others yet the light on his room stays past midnight.

“There’s this new ramen shop near your uni,” his brother told one night, “you could bring your friends there after class,” he suggests, handing a flyer to Tsukishima.

Tsukki only nods, reading the content. They are offering a promo if you order a food combo for at least 5 people. Buy 4 bowls get 1 free. The menu’s pretty nice too. He’d like to go though he’s sure he’ll only end up bringing himself and miss the discount. He folds the paper that will only probably be kept in his drawer. 

Making friends in college wasn’t listed atop his goals. Study, get a job, and make a living out of that degree. It’s a simple agenda. Being part of a social network wasn’t in his hierarchy of needs, befriending people is the least idea he’d like to indulge in. 

But walking alone along the chatter-filled hallways feels heavy on his feet somehow.

Tsukishima knows he’s flawed. Who else isn’t? He is snobbish, arrogant, lacks the ability to comprehend well with emotions and more he could enumerate. He is well aware of everything that makes him less.

He isn’t likable. 

And he never tried to make people like him.

Today is his birthday. 

Fortunately, his family loves celebrating parties and Yamaguchi never forgets the occasion. In these moments, Tsukishima feels lucky having them by his side or else he’ll spend the day as ordinary as others.

Looking back, he remembers his seventh birthday. Scrambling dinosaur-themed invitations, shades of forest green envelopes with dino doodles he drew himself, and the hard-worked letter of his own handwriting placed inside. He kept it in his backpack, organized, and counted them thrice to make sure everyone gets an invite. He feels bad if someone gets left out.

Lunch break, Tsukki tried but his voice was too quiet for them to hear. And after class, he almost did but took a step back once he felt shyness creeping in. He wanted to, but his worries got ahead of him. His classmates have already made plans, he doesn’t want to push himself and possibly ruin the belongingness they have.

So he goes home, alone, and all the invites are still in his bag. 

He’s no longer a kid starting today. His calendar is marked, a note pinned on the side motivating him to go finally make friends. Tsukishima takes a deep breath, opening his drawer where the flyer of the new ramen shop was kept. Maybe he’ll ask around if they want to join him or if they want to try out the new restaurant. He tries a few sentences.

‘So there’s this new ramen shop, maybe we could try it out’ too casual. ‘We should go grab a ramen after class’ it sounds demanding.

Tsukishima sighs, he’s never been good at starting conversations.

Classes went smoothly and dismissal came early. He looks around, contemplating if he really should do this. He can spend his birthday alone, it isn’t a big deal. Or maybe he’s gone deeply into solitude and has no hope of interacting again. Guess he’ll just have to go home and hope his brother hasn’t eaten his cake yet which is a questionable hypothesis by now.

“Happy birthday”

Birthday, who’s happy?—the gears of his brain stopped. Maybe someone must have made a mistake talking to him. He turned his head immediately and didn’t expect that someone to be you.

“To me?”

“To you” you nodded, smiling, “happy birthday to you, well if my memory serves me right”

There’s a second of silence before Tsukishima catches up, “thanks,” he replies a little unsure of how dry it is.

But you smile and he wasn’t as nervous as before.

“But how?” he immediately questions, eyebrows furrowed.

“Remember when our prof who loves astrology asked everyone’s birthdates during her class orientation?”

He nods at that, also amazed how you remembered the details even including about him. Tsukishima never pays attention to most things that don’t directly involve him but he noticed you quite a lot of times. You were the first person who asked him to be your partner for a project, offered him candies during lectures and gave him notes that one rare day he got sick and could not attend class.

“Just wanna greet you and uhm,” you turn around noticing many students have left, “I really should not keep you longer, hope you enjoy your day” 

Maybe he wasn’t really a talker, you think. Tsukishima always seem a galaxy away, yet in his mind is a universe simply waiting to be explored. So you took a short bow and headed to leave, a little shy of the awkward talk. Also questioning your decisions today.

And Tsukki mentally slaps himself for failing to converse well enough. Yet he knows it took you a large amount of courage to approach him, and that alone makes his heart warm. Before you could go, Tsukki clears his throat and gathered will to speak out your name. He wasn’t sure if it’s ok or if he did pronounce your name right. 

But you turned and faced him with a smile on your face he wasn’t sure he deserve. 

Tsukki takes out the ramen shop flyer from his pocket which has become a bit crumpled by now. He’s never good at starting conversations, or making friends, or being close to anyone. But he takes a step closer, and you felt pulled as a tide drawn to him and he was no longer as distant as the moon. 

“I was wondering,” he mutters, “what do you think of having ramen after class?”

#icymi ^^